WEBVTT - Second Date Update PODCAST: Crab Man

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<v Speaker 1>Bread and butter wines pair with the life moments you love,

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<v Speaker 1>your favorite store. Second Data Day. Whenever people hear someone's

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<v Speaker 1>an artist, there's a lot of stereotypes that come with that.

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<v Speaker 1>You know that they're financially strained, Yeah, you can't hold

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<v Speaker 1>down a real job, and never dressed properly or socially awkward. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>do lots of drugs and alcohol. Oh yeah, we're talking

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<v Speaker 1>about artist. It sounds like a good life. I mean

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<v Speaker 1>they're basically one step above radio people. Yeah. Maybe that's

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<v Speaker 1>why I'm yea, because we're all those things. But at

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<v Speaker 1>least the artists have a little bit of talent. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but I have a problem. Yeah, like, come on the artist.

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<v Speaker 1>Nobody ever says you got a face for art either,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. So I feel very very honored to be

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<v Speaker 1>speaking with a real artist who needs our help at

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<v Speaker 1>the second date update today. His name is Seth. What's up, Seth? Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>how's it going? Oh? You you're too happy to be

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<v Speaker 1>an artist. We're trying to be Bob Ross or something. No, no,

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<v Speaker 1>that's where the drugs come in. Oh okay, Yeah, like

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<v Speaker 1>I was saying, yes, we're not all moody and then

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<v Speaker 1>depressed people. But you know we some of us do

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<v Speaker 1>actually make a living selling our paintings. You're a painter,

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<v Speaker 1>then I am. Yeah, I have a specialty. Actually, I've

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<v Speaker 1>developed a sort of niche for myself over the years.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been paying pictures of crabs and you know they

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<v Speaker 1>do Okay, they don't do I'm not cool. Okay, So

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<v Speaker 1>so if we go to the art expo and we

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<v Speaker 1>ask for the guy with crabs, they'll point us in

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<v Speaker 1>your direction, right right, that does happen. It's not like

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<v Speaker 1>crabs like it might be thinking. It's sort of like

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<v Speaker 1>crabs as if they were like members of society, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like it's like the dogs that are playing poker, but

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<v Speaker 1>exactly like crabs on taxi, Crabs getting a tattoo. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I actually have one, which I thought was really kind

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<v Speaker 1>of ironic. Crabs at a restaurant ordering lobster. Yeah, didn't

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<v Speaker 1>you call about a date? Though? I mean, this is great.

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to talk about her. I think we're

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<v Speaker 1>talking to like, you know, in a hundred years, people

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<v Speaker 1>are going to look back on Seth kind of like

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<v Speaker 1>Leonardo da Vinci like time, and your crab paintings are

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<v Speaker 1>going to sell for millions of dollars, a legendary name, Seth. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, such a crab man. Yeah, crab man. All right,

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<v Speaker 1>But no, I am calling about a date because I

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<v Speaker 1>had a recent experience and maybe you guys can help

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<v Speaker 1>me out with this. Okay, Well, what's the name of

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<v Speaker 1>the woman that you went out with? Her name is MICHAELA.

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<v Speaker 1>And yeah, at an art expedition, I was telling my

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<v Speaker 1>paintings and she was very interested in one. I've actually

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<v Speaker 1>bought one from me, which was super cool. So all right,

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<v Speaker 1>so you were able to pay for the dinner when

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<v Speaker 1>you guys would out right, it's nice to give woman

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<v Speaker 1>crabs on the first meetings? Did you ask her out?

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<v Speaker 1>Is as I been you typically do with customers. She

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<v Speaker 1>bought the painting and then she just kind of hung around,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, as we were talking, she was just asking

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<v Speaker 1>me about my work, and I started flirting with her

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit. I started using, you know, some jokes

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<v Speaker 1>and I tell you know the crab jokes. Uh, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I'll give me example, what do you call it?

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<v Speaker 1>The crab has a part time job? What a side

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<v Speaker 1>hustle because it hustles to the side because crabs sideways anybody. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a little bit of a dad joke there. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>So she did, and how you are talking? And we

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<v Speaker 1>actually bonded over our mutual love of coffee. We both

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<v Speaker 1>trenk a whole lot of it. I mean, like eight

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<v Speaker 1>to ten cups a day day. No wonder you're talking

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<v Speaker 1>so much. Yeah, yeah, I've already had about four cups

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<v Speaker 1>so far. A couple months ago, I bought a really

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<v Speaker 1>high end quality espresso maker. It costs to me about

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand hours. It's amazing. So I told her about it,

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<v Speaker 1>and she said that she wanted to see it, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>And I was like, well, great, that's my end, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>And so I said, well, if you'd like to after

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<v Speaker 1>I close up here today, you know, we can come

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<v Speaker 1>over and I'll make you a cup of coffee and

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<v Speaker 1>we can hang out a little bit, you know. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>that's honestly the least innocent cup of coffee date I've

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<v Speaker 1>ever heard. Yeah, I mean, that's an old cliche when

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<v Speaker 1>you invite someone up to your place for a cup

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<v Speaker 1>of coffee. Yeah, but you're talking an actual cup of coffee. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>come for the coffee, leave with crabs. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>so she comes over and I fire up a machine.

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<v Speaker 1>I make a couple of espressos. I steamed some milk,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, nast grouse. She likes it. I've got not

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<v Speaker 1>just a mis maker, but I've got a whole set

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<v Speaker 1>there that I could just make any kind of coffee

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<v Speaker 1>drink imaginable. You got Starbucks inside your apartment literally, So

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<v Speaker 1>was she impressed. So she's really impressed. She said she

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<v Speaker 1>loved it. You know, we talked her a little while,

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<v Speaker 1>and then she decided that, you know, she she had

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<v Speaker 1>to go home for some reason. You know, they had. Firstly,

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<v Speaker 1>I think that we were starting to connect. We were

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<v Speaker 1>having sort of a spark a moment between us, and

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think she wanted to take it so soon.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, she may have not even thought that this

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<v Speaker 1>was a date. Yeah. So was there any part of

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<v Speaker 1>this experience that was very romantic for you? Yeah? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like there was a strong connection. It was flirty,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, it was just there. That was you say that,

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<v Speaker 1>but she's not calling you back, so you obviously read

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<v Speaker 1>something a little wrong. Can you think of something that

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<v Speaker 1>went wrong? Well, I don't know. I mean, like when

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<v Speaker 1>she started to leave, I took her downstairs to get

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<v Speaker 1>her uber. I tried kissing her, but she pulled back

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<v Speaker 1>from the kiss, so that didn't work out so well.

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<v Speaker 1>She actually hid her head on the car as she

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<v Speaker 1>pulled that, Like, no, that life. She didn't hurt herself,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, just a little bump, you know. I just

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<v Speaker 1>pictured her like trying to climb into an uber and

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<v Speaker 1>you're leading over fowing her with the kids, and she's

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<v Speaker 1>like trying to scramble away as fast as it sounds

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<v Speaker 1>so terrible, I swear I'm not a creeper. Yeah yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean nothing about what you've described sounds like it

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<v Speaker 1>would be a reason for her to not call you.

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<v Speaker 1>Is there anything awkward or weird that happened during your encounter? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>there was one point where we bumped into my ex wife,

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<v Speaker 1>but it really was like no big deal class over that.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I thought for sure it was hitting the

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<v Speaker 1>head while trying to escape a kiss. But where does

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<v Speaker 1>the ex wife come in. Yeah, it really wasn't a

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<v Speaker 1>big deal. I mean it was it was quick. My

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<v Speaker 1>X and I we've been divorced for about five months

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<v Speaker 1>and we just fan into it. She said, Hi, it

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<v Speaker 1>was it's nothing. I can't imagine that had anything to

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<v Speaker 1>do with it. H Yeah, I can't. I can imagine

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<v Speaker 1>really easily that it had something to do with it.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, Well, we're gonna play a song. We'll come

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<v Speaker 1>back and we'll call MICHAELA for you and try and

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<v Speaker 1>get your second date up date. Okay, I appreciate it,

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much. All Right, if you're just tuning in,

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<v Speaker 1>we're on the phone with Seth aka the Crabs guy,

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<v Speaker 1>which it's not a reference to his romantic history. Sets

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<v Speaker 1>an artist that specializes in painting crabs in humanlike situations.

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<v Speaker 1>I love it. I want to buy one. Yeah. I

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<v Speaker 1>kind of like it too. You know, one pincher is

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<v Speaker 1>bigger than the other. Kind of makes a funny dynamic. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>imagine just crabs playing basketball, crabs eating tacos, eating taco Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you'll you'll get it. He does. He does all all

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<v Speaker 1>the funny things that crabs do in human situations. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So Seth met a woman named Michaelo while selling his

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<v Speaker 1>art in an expo, and they had a nice stay together.

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<v Speaker 1>She bought one of his paintings. They bonded over their

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<v Speaker 1>mutual addiction to coffee, and he even showed her his

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand dollars espresso machine back at his place, And

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<v Speaker 1>there was an awkward moment at the end of the

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<v Speaker 1>night where he tried to kiss her at her uber

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<v Speaker 1>and she pulled back and ended up hitting her head

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<v Speaker 1>on the car door. But beyond that, he's not really

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<v Speaker 1>sure what could have caused this day to Yeah, he

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<v Speaker 1>like non slotly adds at the end that he ran

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<v Speaker 1>into his ex wife's only been divorced from for like

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<v Speaker 1>five minutes or five months whatever, same difference. Yeah, he

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<v Speaker 1>did drop that in there too, So one of those

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<v Speaker 1>things must be the reason. Wonder you can't figure it out.

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<v Speaker 1>What are you feeling here, Seth, Yeah, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I really hope that you guys can convince her to

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<v Speaker 1>see me again. I think she was a lovely person

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<v Speaker 1>and we hit it off and we had a great time.

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<v Speaker 1>You didn't describe your interaction with your ex wife at all, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like we need some sort of background on

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<v Speaker 1>that before we call this girl. Yeah. Honestly, it was

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<v Speaker 1>so inconsequential. I mean, it was nothing. It was just

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<v Speaker 1>sort of like a high end buying kind of moment.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, I don't know. I mean it's only five

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<v Speaker 1>months whatever, Michaela and see what she has to say.

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<v Speaker 1>Because we could speculate about this all day, we just

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<v Speaker 1>got to get to the bottom of it and make

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<v Speaker 1>or call. Are you ready to do the seth? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, let's style the phone number right now here

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<v Speaker 1>we go. Hello, Hi, can I speak to Michaela please her.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Michaela. My name's Jeffrey from the radio show Brook

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<v Speaker 1>and Jeffrey in the Morning. Do you have a second

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<v Speaker 1>to talk with us? What is this about? Well, we

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<v Speaker 1>do a segment on our show called a second Date Update.

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<v Speaker 1>That's where if you go out with someone and afterwards,

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<v Speaker 1>if they're not calling you back, you can email our

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<v Speaker 1>show and we'll reach out to that person for you

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<v Speaker 1>to figure out the reason why. Okay, and what does

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<v Speaker 1>this have to do with me? So recently we got

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<v Speaker 1>an email from a guy who's frustrated because he's been

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<v Speaker 1>trying to get a hold of you and you're not

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<v Speaker 1>calling him back. His name's Seth, Seth Seth. Yeah, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>the artist that you bought the crab painting from. I

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<v Speaker 1>mean it did sound like a chill hang out with him. Yeah, No,

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<v Speaker 1>it was cool. I've bought a painting. It's crabs bowling.

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<v Speaker 1>He didn't tell us what pa, It's okay, it's good.

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<v Speaker 1>I like it all right. Well, he told us a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit about you guys hanging out, and he said,

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<v Speaker 1>from his end, it all seemed like you guys had

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<v Speaker 1>a great time together. And he's not sure why you're

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<v Speaker 1>avoiding his phone calls. Really, he didn't mention anything. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>he didn't mention a few things that he's worried might

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<v Speaker 1>have ruined things. But we'd like to hear what happened

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<v Speaker 1>from your perspective. Okay, Um, well, I don't know like

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<v Speaker 1>how much he told you his crab painter. I met

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<v Speaker 1>him at the art show. He had all his crabs

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<v Speaker 1>on display. It was cute. He's like one of the

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<v Speaker 1>quirky artist type guys. Yeah. I picture him with curly

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<v Speaker 1>hair for some reason. Anybody else I'm sure does he

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<v Speaker 1>have curly hair? You know what he does? I do it.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the problem as curly hair. I'm just saying he's quirky,

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<v Speaker 1>Like we did talk to him, and he's kind of

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<v Speaker 1>a little nutty for sure, But he's nutty. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like that's not a nice thing to say. Oh, it's

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<v Speaker 1>not bad. He just sounds like he drinks a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of coffee too. He's fun, he's you know, he's an

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<v Speaker 1>art guy, and I'm kind of like that too. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>like a little a little weird, a little out there.

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<v Speaker 1>And so what exactly is the problem though, Like what

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<v Speaker 1>went wrong where you're not interested in seeing him again? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>if he told you about our day and what happened,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure you can kind of guess what the problem was.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, he told us about the attempted kiss at

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<v Speaker 1>the end of the date where you knocked your head

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<v Speaker 1>on an uber trying to get away from him. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you know at that point I kind of was just

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<v Speaker 1>over it and ready to ready to head home. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>so it happened earlier. Yes, So did he tell you

0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:49.760
<v Speaker 1>about the whole wife thing? Yeah, he said ex wife. Yeah,

0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:52.480
<v Speaker 1>that there was a quick running Yeah, he kind of

0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:55.200
<v Speaker 1>downplayed it as like a five minute or just quick

0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:57.360
<v Speaker 1>like high by. It was kind of weird, but you

0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.559
<v Speaker 1>guys moved on. Okay, Yeah, so here's what really happened.

0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:04.160
<v Speaker 1>So cut over to his place and he wants to

0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.679
<v Speaker 1>show me his two thousand dollars espress a machine, will

0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.520
<v Speaker 1>have a cup of coffee whatever. Cool. So as soon

0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:12.280
<v Speaker 1>as we get in, we walk over to the kitchen

0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:16.880
<v Speaker 1>and there's a woman. There's a woman in his kitchen. Yeah. Yeah,

0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:20.000
<v Speaker 1>she's like cooking something or fixing something. I don't know

0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.000
<v Speaker 1>what she was doing, but it was a little weird

0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:25.480
<v Speaker 1>and just like, oh, hey, you know, this is Mikayla.

0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:28.200
<v Speaker 1>Hey how are you doing? Okay? And so I'm guessing

0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:30.480
<v Speaker 1>you were assuming this is as a roommate or something

0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:33.960
<v Speaker 1>or like a friend. So I'm like, who is that?

0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:37.040
<v Speaker 1>Like why is there a chick in your kitchen? You know?

0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:42.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's my ex wife? Oh wait, I'm like, why

0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:46.200
<v Speaker 1>what do you want? I ran into my ex wife?

0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:49.360
<v Speaker 1>Happened in the kitchen, so like once she left the room,

0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.240
<v Speaker 1>I was like, who is she? Like why what is

0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:56.120
<v Speaker 1>this weird three company dynamic going on? Like what is this?

0:12:57.040 --> 0:13:00.360
<v Speaker 1>So being it's being very just like nonchalant about it,

0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.720
<v Speaker 1>like it's no big deal. You know, she's a next wife.

0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.000
<v Speaker 1>We've been in a divorce for like five months now,

0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:09.080
<v Speaker 1>the mail order bride and uh, it didn't work out?

0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:17.040
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god? Second, are those the words he used? Yes, verbatim.

0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:21.280
<v Speaker 1>Here's a mail order bride. So she's someone who married

0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:23.760
<v Speaker 1>him to get a green card or a visa to

0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:26.640
<v Speaker 1>come to the States. I don't know the situation with that.

0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:33.119
<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, can I fast something? Can I clear something up? Well, hey, MICHAELA,

0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:35.920
<v Speaker 1>we didn't wait to call him in, but he messed

0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.120
<v Speaker 1>it up. We need to tell you that. Sessmin on

0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:39.840
<v Speaker 1>the other line listening and he heard everything that. Just

0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:44.120
<v Speaker 1>are you serious, Michaela. They're supposed to wait, MICHAELA. I

0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:46.760
<v Speaker 1>thought I'd explained to you. Okay, when when when she

0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:49.200
<v Speaker 1>came over to this country, and yeah, she was a

0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:52.400
<v Speaker 1>mail or heer bride. It just didn't work out. Can

0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:54.400
<v Speaker 1>you even use that phrase? Like? I don't get it?

0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:56.800
<v Speaker 1>Like you got paid to marry her? She paid you?

0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.800
<v Speaker 1>Where did this? What happened? It's an arrangement. She wanted

0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:02.840
<v Speaker 1>to I'm here and we communicated an email, it back

0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:05.360
<v Speaker 1>and forth, and we thought we would give it a try,

0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:07.640
<v Speaker 1>and you know, it just didn't work out romantically. We

0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:10.719
<v Speaker 1>realized we weren't a match that way. So if you're

0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 1>the force, doesn't she have to go back. We're trying

0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.360
<v Speaker 1>to figure it out. I feel bad because I brought

0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.240
<v Speaker 1>her over here. So what I've been doing is I've

0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:21.560
<v Speaker 1>actually communicated with the company that arranged us, and we're

0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:24.680
<v Speaker 1>trying to find her a different mail order husband somewhere

0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:30.840
<v Speaker 1>in the areas, like a rescue dog. Okay, you don't

0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:34.000
<v Speaker 1>just like pair her with a new house like those

0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:37.080
<v Speaker 1>ads like singles in your area. And I'm pretty sure

0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:41.520
<v Speaker 1>this is highly illegal. I didn't know you guys were

0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.360
<v Speaker 1>gonna call him. I thought we were just talking about

0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:49.400
<v Speaker 1>what happened. Yeah, I love your crabs. You're a nice guy.

0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:52.720
<v Speaker 1>But you know, look, is there anything that I could do?

0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:55.120
<v Speaker 1>I would really like to see you again. I thought

0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:58.280
<v Speaker 1>that we really connected. Next time we get together, I

0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 1>can actually make sure that she's not there. I'll give

0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:05.280
<v Speaker 1>her a text ahead of time. That's convenient. Thank you. Listen,

0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:10.880
<v Speaker 1>Maybe you should have focused on rehoming your moller bride.

0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:16.320
<v Speaker 1>I think there are different possibilities in different ways that

0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:19.360
<v Speaker 1>relationships pan out, you know, And and I just I

0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:22.560
<v Speaker 1>thought that you and I really connected, And I'm so

0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:25.160
<v Speaker 1>glad you appreciate my art and I really want to

0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:27.520
<v Speaker 1>share things with you, and it would be really nice

0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:31.040
<v Speaker 1>if we could see each other again, you know, but

0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:33.760
<v Speaker 1>he still lives with his ex wife. We realized we're

0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:37.520
<v Speaker 1>just not compatible that way. You know, we will sleep together,

0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:41.040
<v Speaker 1>but there's no emotions there, said, why are you dropping that?

0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:43.440
<v Speaker 1>I was like on board with you? Why are you

0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:47.520
<v Speaker 1>doing that? It's emotionless because I want you. I just

0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:50.640
<v Speaker 1>want to understand that. She's really no big deal. Yeah,

0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:52.600
<v Speaker 1>how would she feel if she heard you say that?

0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:56.880
<v Speaker 1>She doesn't speak English, she couldn't understand you. Guys, I

0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:59.040
<v Speaker 1>don't know what to tell you. MICHAELA, So I was,

0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:01.560
<v Speaker 1>I was all lost on board? What do you think

0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:04.400
<v Speaker 1>we'll offer to send you in seth out on another date.

0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:07.800
<v Speaker 1>We'll pay for it. Yeah, it's gonna be a no.

0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:12.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean yeah, it's gonna be a no. Yeah, there's

0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:16.800
<v Speaker 1>yea in there. Yeah. Let not close the book on

0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:18.960
<v Speaker 1>this chapter and come on, let's I know we can

0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:23.200
<v Speaker 1>have some connection. Listen, how about next time you're having

0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:26.480
<v Speaker 1>a show, you can text me. I'll pop in and

0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:36.040
<v Speaker 1>check out your crabs. All right, okay, okay? Yeah? Is

0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:40.160
<v Speaker 1>that successful? If that's all I can get I'll gladly

0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:43.000
<v Speaker 1>see you again at my next art show. Okay good,

0:16:43.280 --> 0:16:45.680
<v Speaker 1>and I hope, I hope you love your crab bowling.

0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:49.200
<v Speaker 1>I've never been happier about a man giving me crabs before.

0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:54.240
<v Speaker 1>It's it's crabtivating if anything. Nine two point five