Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is about what to do if weekend wishes
Speaker 1: diverge in your household. If people have drastically different pictures
Speaker 1: of what a good weekend looks like, you can each
Speaker 1: achieve satisfaction if you are thoughtful about what you do.
Speaker 1: When this episode is first airing in January, I am
Speaker 1: leading a time tracking challenge where hundreds of people are
Speaker 1: logging their time for a week. We're all trying to
Speaker 1: figure out where the time really goes so we can
Speaker 1: make wise decisions. If that sounds good to you, then
Speaker 1: feel free to join in. You just write down what
Speaker 1: you're doing as often as you remember and keep going
Speaker 1: for a week. Then you can celebrate, reflect or change.
Speaker 1: One thing I look for on my own time logs
Speaker 1: is whether I have had at least one bigger adventure
Speaker 1: maybe taking three to four hours, and one littler adventure
Speaker 1: each week. A little adventure might just take an hour,
Speaker 1: but is something out of the ordinary. Time can easily
Speaker 1: become routine, especially as we get older. But when we
Speaker 1: think about doing cool stuff, we make memories and we
Speaker 1: can expand the experience of time. I recommend everyone try
Speaker 1: to have at least one little adventure and one big
Speaker 1: adventure each week. When I explain this to folks who
Speaker 1: are interested in time tracking and productivity, which is probably
Speaker 1: mostly the listeners of this podcast, many agree with me.
Speaker 1: They see the upside of planned adventures, but they mentioned
Speaker 1: that their partners sometimes resist. Often these dear loved ones
Speaker 1: say they want to do nothing during any discretionary time
Speaker 1: on the weekends, so the adventure seeker might wind up
Speaker 1: not doing what they want to do because they value
Speaker 1: family time and assume that couples are supposed to spend
Speaker 1: weekend time together. It is nice to see each other
Speaker 1: and spend time together on weekends, but if you track
Speaker 1: your time, you will soon start to see that there
Speaker 1: is a lot of time on weekends. Have dinner together
Speaker 1: on Saturday night, and watch TV for two hours together
Speaker 1: on Sunday afternoon, and you have still got a ton
Speaker 1: of other time to account for. That is true even
Speaker 1: if you have children or various other obligations. There is
Speaker 1: definitely space for nothing and space for adventures. If your
Speaker 1: partner doesn't see this, though, then you need to acknowledge
Speaker 1: a certain reality. The truth is that other adults can
Speaker 1: do what they want. They don't have to go on
Speaker 1: your adventures with you, but they also can't force you
Speaker 1: to do nothing. So go ahead and plan your own adventures.
Speaker 1: As long as you still do any chores that are
Speaker 1: yours to do, and make arrangements for any children who
Speaker 1: are too young to care for themselves, then you are fine.
Speaker 1: Bring the kids with you or bring them to grandma's.
Speaker 1: But if your partner isn't stuck caring for them while
Speaker 1: you go entertain yourself, then you can, in fact do
Speaker 1: your own thing. Go experience the world, make memories, come home,
Speaker 1: and share them with your partner. When you do, often
Speaker 1: a funny thing starts to happen. When you seem to
Speaker 1: be enjoying yourself and enjoying the time with your children,
Speaker 1: people start to become intrigued. It turns out that this
Speaker 1: stated desire to do nothing wasn't actually a deeply held
Speaker 1: philosophical position. It's just that the person is tired, and
Speaker 1: that is understandable. We are all tired, but we draw
Speaker 1: energy from doing fun and meaningful things. Over time, the
Speaker 1: other person might ask to be included on a few
Speaker 1: adventures Once that line is crossed, you can start planning
Speaker 1: them together, making sure to have some downtime too, which
Speaker 1: there will be, because did I mention there is always downtime.
Speaker 1: It's just a question of how much one three hour
Speaker 1: adventure each weekend still leaves a lot of open space,
Speaker 1: or maybe your partner will never come around. But when
Speaker 1: your weekend wishes diverge and you plan your own thing,
Speaker 1: at least you won't be stuck spending weekends in a
Speaker 1: way that you don't want to be spending them. In general,
Speaker 1: I think it is wise to think through weekends ahead
Speaker 1: of time and to think about what might be enjoyable.
Speaker 1: People's ideas diverge, for sure, but we don't have to
Speaker 1: not enjoy ourselves just because other people have a different
Speaker 1: idea of what is enjoyable. A little independence is fine,
Speaker 1: that is true even if you live closely entwined with
Speaker 1: other people. A little compromise is great. A total abandonment
Speaker 1: of one's own ideas just to keep the peace is not.
Speaker 1: So make your own plans. If the other person doesn't
Speaker 1: want to make plans, it will be okay as long
Speaker 1: as you are not requiring anything of them, because that
Speaker 1: way they are not requiring anything of you either. In
Speaker 1: the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening and here's
Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd
Speaker 1: love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,
Speaker 1: your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter,
Speaker 1: Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the
Speaker 1: number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also
Speaker 1: shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i
Speaker 1: heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out
Speaker 1: with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward
Speaker 1: to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
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