WEBVTT - When weekend wishes diverge

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is about what to do if weekend wishes

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<v Speaker 1>diverge in your household. If people have drastically different pictures

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<v Speaker 1>of what a good weekend looks like, you can each

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<v Speaker 1>achieve satisfaction if you are thoughtful about what you do.

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<v Speaker 1>When this episode is first airing in January, I am

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<v Speaker 1>leading a time tracking challenge where hundreds of people are

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<v Speaker 1>logging their time for a week. We're all trying to

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<v Speaker 1>figure out where the time really goes so we can

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<v Speaker 1>make wise decisions. If that sounds good to you, then

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<v Speaker 1>feel free to join in. You just write down what

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<v Speaker 1>you're doing as often as you remember and keep going

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<v Speaker 1>for a week. Then you can celebrate, reflect or change.

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<v Speaker 1>One thing I look for on my own time logs

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<v Speaker 1>is whether I have had at least one bigger adventure

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<v Speaker 1>maybe taking three to four hours, and one littler adventure

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<v Speaker 1>each week. A little adventure might just take an hour,

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<v Speaker 1>but is something out of the ordinary. Time can easily

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<v Speaker 1>become routine, especially as we get older. But when we

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<v Speaker 1>think about doing cool stuff, we make memories and we

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<v Speaker 1>can expand the experience of time. I recommend everyone try

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<v Speaker 1>to have at least one little adventure and one big

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<v Speaker 1>adventure each week. When I explain this to folks who

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<v Speaker 1>are interested in time tracking and productivity, which is probably

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<v Speaker 1>mostly the listeners of this podcast, many agree with me.

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<v Speaker 1>They see the upside of planned adventures, but they mentioned

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<v Speaker 1>that their partners sometimes resist. Often these dear loved ones

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<v Speaker 1>say they want to do nothing during any discretionary time

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<v Speaker 1>on the weekends, so the adventure seeker might wind up

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<v Speaker 1>not doing what they want to do because they value

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<v Speaker 1>family time and assume that couples are supposed to spend

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<v Speaker 1>weekend time together. It is nice to see each other

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<v Speaker 1>and spend time together on weekends, but if you track

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<v Speaker 1>your time, you will soon start to see that there

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<v Speaker 1>is a lot of time on weekends. Have dinner together

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<v Speaker 1>on Saturday night, and watch TV for two hours together

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<v Speaker 1>on Sunday afternoon, and you have still got a ton

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<v Speaker 1>of other time to account for. That is true even

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<v Speaker 1>if you have children or various other obligations. There is

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<v Speaker 1>definitely space for nothing and space for adventures. If your

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<v Speaker 1>partner doesn't see this, though, then you need to acknowledge

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<v Speaker 1>a certain reality. The truth is that other adults can

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<v Speaker 1>do what they want. They don't have to go on

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<v Speaker 1>your adventures with you, but they also can't force you

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<v Speaker 1>to do nothing. So go ahead and plan your own adventures.

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<v Speaker 1>As long as you still do any chores that are

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<v Speaker 1>yours to do, and make arrangements for any children who

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<v Speaker 1>are too young to care for themselves, then you are fine.

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<v Speaker 1>Bring the kids with you or bring them to grandma's.

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<v Speaker 1>But if your partner isn't stuck caring for them while

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<v Speaker 1>you go entertain yourself, then you can, in fact do

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<v Speaker 1>your own thing. Go experience the world, make memories, come home,

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<v Speaker 1>and share them with your partner. When you do, often

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<v Speaker 1>a funny thing starts to happen. When you seem to

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<v Speaker 1>be enjoying yourself and enjoying the time with your children,

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<v Speaker 1>people start to become intrigued. It turns out that this

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<v Speaker 1>stated desire to do nothing wasn't actually a deeply held

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<v Speaker 1>philosophical position. It's just that the person is tired, and

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<v Speaker 1>that is understandable. We are all tired, but we draw

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<v Speaker 1>energy from doing fun and meaningful things. Over time, the

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<v Speaker 1>other person might ask to be included on a few

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<v Speaker 1>adventures Once that line is crossed, you can start planning

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<v Speaker 1>them together, making sure to have some downtime too, which

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<v Speaker 1>there will be, because did I mention there is always downtime.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just a question of how much one three hour

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<v Speaker 1>adventure each weekend still leaves a lot of open space,

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<v Speaker 1>or maybe your partner will never come around. But when

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<v Speaker 1>your weekend wishes diverge and you plan your own thing,

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<v Speaker 1>at least you won't be stuck spending weekends in a

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<v Speaker 1>way that you don't want to be spending them. In general,

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<v Speaker 1>I think it is wise to think through weekends ahead

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<v Speaker 1>of time and to think about what might be enjoyable.

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<v Speaker 1>People's ideas diverge, for sure, but we don't have to

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<v Speaker 1>not enjoy ourselves just because other people have a different

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<v Speaker 1>idea of what is enjoyable. A little independence is fine,

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<v Speaker 1>that is true even if you live closely entwined with

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<v Speaker 1>other people. A little compromise is great. A total abandonment

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<v Speaker 1>of one's own ideas just to keep the peace is not.

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<v Speaker 1>So make your own plans. If the other person doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>want to make plans, it will be okay as long

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<v Speaker 1>as you are not requiring anything of them, because that

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<v Speaker 1>way they are not requiring anything of you either. In

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<v Speaker 1>the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening and here's

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<v Speaker 1>to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd

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<v Speaker 1>love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,

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<v Speaker 1>your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter,

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<v Speaker 1>Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the

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<v Speaker 1>number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also

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<v Speaker 1>shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i

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<v Speaker 1>heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out

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<v Speaker 1>with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward

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<v Speaker 1>to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of

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