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Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, I got some show dates and I want

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Speaker 1: you to come and see me to give you the

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Speaker 1: details so you can get tickets and make plans. On

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Speaker 1: November five, I'll be in Ben Salem, Pennsylvania at Parks

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Speaker 1: Casino basically Philly, but like Ben Salem. Then from November

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Speaker 1: eleven to thirteen, I'll be in Tacoma, Washington. That's Super

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Speaker 1: Funny Comedy Club. That's the name of it. It's a

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Speaker 1: super funny comic club. Next up, I'll be in Portland,

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Speaker 1: Oregon at Helium Comedy Club from November eighteen to one

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Speaker 1: night only. I'll be in Calgary at Southern Alberta Jubilee

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Speaker 1: Auditorium on November for a cool night. It's a fundraiser

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Speaker 1: for the Owen Heart Foundation, Brett Hart's brother who passed away.

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Speaker 1: And it's it's gonna be a great time. I'm doing

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Speaker 1: my whole new act. You're gonna love it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing my whole new act everywhere, but this is

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Speaker 1: a special thing. And from December nine through the twelve,

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Speaker 1: I'll be in Sacramento at the punch Line in California.

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Speaker 1: More shows are always being at it, so just keep checking.

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Speaker 1: Russell Peters dot com or my Instagram at Russell Peters.

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Speaker 1: Follow me as well because it's free. All right, you

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Speaker 1: freaking now enjoy the shop? Oh my god? So are

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Speaker 1: you happy the pandemic is nearing a close? We hope,

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Speaker 1: so you could go back on the road or are

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Speaker 1: you like yuck? I've been on the road now for

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Speaker 1: the past year and it's been great. Yeah. You still

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Speaker 1: get that thing from the audience that you don't have

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Speaker 1: internally because you're an empty No, because I just feel

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Speaker 1: like I've got things I want to say. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: not really about the acceptance anymore. It's more about there's

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Speaker 1: some ship I want to get off my chest nowadays.

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Speaker 1: What do you like talking about? Now? Now? I'm really

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Speaker 1: talking about millennials and Gen zs and cancel culture and

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Speaker 1: woke culture. And see, I enjoy the millennials and the wokeness. Well,

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Speaker 1: I I'm shipping on them, but I'm I'm shod where

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Speaker 1: I am identifying that it's our generation that caused their problem.

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Speaker 1: And I think also millennials what they have, not millennials,

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Speaker 1: but the one, what's the later one? Those people are

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Speaker 1: the ones who are actually going to change things, and

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Speaker 1: they're going to fix with the monnails are breaking right,

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Speaker 1: like every Black Lives Matter protest, I went to the

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Speaker 1: good ones were run by teenagers or early twenties, and

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Speaker 1: it's like, no, And by the way, my generation fucking sucks.

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Speaker 1: People over sixty or douche bags considered a yuppy. I'm

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Speaker 1: considered a baby boomer, but the last year you could

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Speaker 1: be one. So I hate my age group because how

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Speaker 1: old are you guys something? How could I be the

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Speaker 1: best looking one? It just astounds me in every room.

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Speaker 1: I'm dude, Can I tell you about Bunyan's They're horrible.

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Speaker 1: People think it's a corn it's a bone spur and

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Speaker 1: it don't get the operation, man, because I had to

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Speaker 1: do it. Dude, it grew back. She's really be bastard

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Speaker 1: and she was one of your people to her, so

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Speaker 1: I thought she was very responsible. I judged her on

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Speaker 1: race alone, which I should not. You know, that's one

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Speaker 1: book you shouldn't have judged. No, I should not have no,

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Speaker 1: but it's it's wild, man. I'm not getting no more operations.

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Speaker 1: I got the weight loss surgery and that was it.

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Speaker 1: Did you do the skin? Uh? I didn't have to,

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Speaker 1: thank God because of my height. I think. I think

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Speaker 1: my brother's got a lot of floppy skin now and

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Speaker 1: he wants to do it. He should do it. But

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Speaker 1: they say it's painful and you could burst open and

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Speaker 1: go septic on you because they're literally, you know, giving

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Speaker 1: you a seam. That's true, Teddy Barry. But what are

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Speaker 1: you gonna what are you gonna like walk around with

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Speaker 1: your flabby skin hanging out? Broads don't like that. I

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Speaker 1: mean he's married, he doesn't. Yeah, he has low self esteem.

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Speaker 1: He could deal with that. I'm just assuming he does,

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Speaker 1: because everyone does. I mean it doesn't talk about it,

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Speaker 1: so he may. We don't know. Yeah, yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: mean if he wants to do it, I got I

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Speaker 1: always see him with Louis, but Tom pers so I'm suspicious.

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Speaker 1: He likes nice things, my brother. I really used to too.

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Speaker 1: I kept one nice thing. I got rid of everything else.

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Speaker 1: I kept with this Cardier watch, and I'll tell you why,

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Speaker 1: because it was a gift from a movie I did

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Speaker 1: badly called what was it called? It was definitely a

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Speaker 1: Foxworthy yeah, and it was something about the war. I

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Speaker 1: can't remember. If somebody could look up my IMDb, um,

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Speaker 1: it was something about it was a pun about the military.

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Speaker 1: So I was on this movie and they gave every

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Speaker 1: listen to this wrestle you love this because our manager

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Speaker 1: at the time was this roll baller named JP Delta

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Speaker 1: Delta that really wasn't Larry the cable guy movie? Yeah, totally,

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Speaker 1: I would lie to you. So Larry JP gave everybody,

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Speaker 1: all the stars of the movie these beautiful car Williams Williams,

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Speaker 1: so he gave everybody's beautiful I know everybody's done with him.

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Speaker 1: Gave him the watch. I didn't get a watch because

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Speaker 1: I had like four lines. So I was in this

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Speaker 1: in the office is one day and those are beautiful watches.

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Speaker 1: And he goes he was such a big shotter. He

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Speaker 1: thought he was such I mean, he would really like

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Speaker 1: to treat people who he liked at the time. And

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Speaker 1: he goes, hey, run over, get Lisa one too. So

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Speaker 1: I'm like, that's the watch I saved. And also, I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's nice right. Also, I have this badass bracelet that

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Speaker 1: says you know what that says on it does say addicted.

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Speaker 1: It says abdicate means I abdicated my throne as the

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Speaker 1: Queen of mean and it's to keep me humble and

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Speaker 1: remember that I'm not better than anyone except Russell. Right now,

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Speaker 1: who do you think? It's fact? I was gonna say,

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Speaker 1: who did you? Who do you think who was the

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Speaker 1: heir to your throne? Oh? Yes, I love her. She's

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Speaker 1: a good girl. Ever, Yes, I've heard this horrible you do.

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Speaker 1: And I always tell her, go, NICKI I'm sure you've

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Speaker 1: got great feature goes, Oh, you have no idea how

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Speaker 1: bad they are? And I go, how bad can they be?

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Speaker 1: And then she showed me go, holy funk, they're terrible. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: her and George Decay have the worst feet in Hollywood.

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Speaker 1: Not at the same time, not at the same time,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, she I feel you know what. I like

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Speaker 1: her too. She has mad respect for me, and that

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Speaker 1: always wins me over when somebody loves me so much.

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Speaker 1: She contends that she m seed for me at Stanford

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Speaker 1: and Son's down in Casey, right when I was getting

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Speaker 1: famous and she was just sort of a local chick

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Speaker 1: and I was always and she goes, I knew to

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Speaker 1: leave you alone. I knew to not say hi. But

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Speaker 1: you were so nice to me, dude, I don't remember,

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Speaker 1: but I imagine I'm shocked I was nice to anyone

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Speaker 1: at the time. I'm always so angry. I never see

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Speaker 1: I never I always looked at you your anger as

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Speaker 1: as a character. I never looked at well. I think

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Speaker 1: I always felt like I knew Lisa and Lisa Lampanelli

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Speaker 1: went on stage. Now you're right, Lisa Lamponelli was like

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Speaker 1: ten percent of my personality, but sometimes that did leak

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Speaker 1: out into opening acts and also hotel front desk people.

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Speaker 1: I remember during the last three years of my career,

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Speaker 1: I was working on my anger a lot, and I

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Speaker 1: would check into hotels and goes go did you check

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Speaker 1: me in before? And if they said yes, I'd say,

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Speaker 1: do I owe you an apology from last time? Because

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Speaker 1: I used to just scream at them because everything. I

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Speaker 1: was so tired all the time, and I had such

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Speaker 1: huge emotional anger because of you know, my mother was

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Speaker 1: a rage of holic. She yelled. I just learned it

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Speaker 1: as a behavior and I did all a lot of

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Speaker 1: people apologies. There's a lot of gift back baskets. You

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Speaker 1: gotta buy one, bitch I got. I bought her a

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars worth of massages. That's how bad, I yelled, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and it's not good. My friend of mine said, why

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Speaker 1: don't you just stop yelling. You'll have to buy way

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Speaker 1: less massages. And I said, this makes a lot of sense.

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Speaker 1: This was a trained behavior, learned behavior. I think what

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Speaker 1: happened was my mother, bless her heart, she was role

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Speaker 1: modeled anger from her mom. I was role modeled from her.

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Speaker 1: You didn't know how to be vulnerable and just cry.

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Speaker 1: And today, I'll be honest, A little tear came to

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Speaker 1: my eye when I complained to something about the at

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Speaker 1: the front desk about something, and I said, I said,

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Speaker 1: you see, I'm getting emotional, and I'd rather do that

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Speaker 1: than yell, because it has to the emotion has to

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Speaker 1: with me come out somehow. And I would rather that

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Speaker 1: gay gentleman because I know he's a gay, because he's

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Speaker 1: a fan of mine. I'd rather go around saying Lampanelli

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Speaker 1: cried a little at the front desk than she screamed

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Speaker 1: at me, Like I just until I could be so

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Speaker 1: evolved that I could just be even. I'd rather they

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Speaker 1: see the vulnerable than the other. It just doesn't hurt

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Speaker 1: as much to them. So I'm just trying to not

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Speaker 1: to leave shrapnel wherever I go, and I'm trying not

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Speaker 1: to also let everybody fucking suffer for how I was

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Speaker 1: brought up, you know, like that my mom wasn't a

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Speaker 1: cry or she was a yeller, and ultimately it's the

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Speaker 1: same thing. He was so humble and nice, greatest guy,

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Speaker 1: even tempered, even keel Len Len Len Lampanelli, Len Lampanelli.

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Speaker 1: It's not a Leonardo Leonard. And he also retired when

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Speaker 1: he was sixty two. So I had a good role

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Speaker 1: model on So was the Italian Italian or like a

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Speaker 1: garden Italian. He was more like second or third generation,

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Speaker 1: so not really. I think in our house we pretended

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Speaker 1: to be white. I really do. We were kind of

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Speaker 1: like thought we were white. My sister to this day,

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Speaker 1: where's vineyard vines? And you know, it's what we'd like.

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Speaker 1: We're not that white, I mean, but we're kind of white. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I wish we'd learn to have like the Italian curse

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Speaker 1: words and oh, I wish we had all that, but

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Speaker 1: we didn't. I always looked at you as an Italian girl,

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Speaker 1: But then I realized when I think back, wasn't jimmy Italian? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: He was way more Italian than me. Cannazar, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: and he had the family who had that typical Italian stuff.

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Speaker 1: But hey, I didn't get that gift. I didn't get

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Speaker 1: the sopranos gift. I wish I did. You were allowed,

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Speaker 1: like an Italian totally man battle acts in Connecticut. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: That that that's that's funny too. Associate with New York.

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Speaker 1: I know, I just assumed New York all time, and

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Speaker 1: then New York comedy ish, but definitely connected. When you

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Speaker 1: started what year, uh, right after the boom? I started?

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Speaker 1: Stop after the boom? I started? I started eight nine,

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Speaker 1: so I know exactly what you're talking about. And I

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Speaker 1: said that was the best time to start because nobody

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Speaker 1: was paying attention to comedy. We make all the mistakes

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Speaker 1: you wanted, and nobody gave a ship. You're doing comedy, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: who cares? Nobody cares. Well. Also, I was smart enough

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Speaker 1: not to be seen in the city till I was good.

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Speaker 1: I was doing comedy seven years before I was seen

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Speaker 1: in New York or l A. Because I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be seen as an amateur or an

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Speaker 1: open micer. So I was like, oh, when you go

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Speaker 1: onto the scene in the city and they're like, who's that,

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Speaker 1: She's doing something different? Because I was like the only

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Speaker 1: woman who was kind of doing that stuff because Joan

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Speaker 1: Rivers kind of was different and she was way back,

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Speaker 1: so I was pretty cool. I see. We viewed it

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Speaker 1: a little bit as a science too, not just in art.

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Speaker 1: We knew how to like work some ship. Yeah, people,

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Speaker 1: I think nowadays gone, I think I'm pretty funny, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do stand up or I'm like, I don't. If

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Speaker 1: you think you're funny, don't just stand up. That's true,

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Speaker 1: But you wonder what the best part of stand up

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Speaker 1: ever was, And that's why I like recreating it now

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Speaker 1: and what I do I when I retired goes. When

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Speaker 1: was I actually happy doing comedy, Like really happy was

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Speaker 1: when I was open micing and all the comics would

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Speaker 1: go to the diner after and just throw around jokes.

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Speaker 1: And the rule was if you don't do it in

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Speaker 1: a month, I'm doing it. Like that's a good joke. No. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So now doing the podcast with these guys shameless second

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Speaker 1: plug losers with a dream available everywhere, make Lisa famous

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Speaker 1: again hashtag I don't need to bring it up. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I know, I don't worry ash you warn everything in that,

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Speaker 1: But then sitting and writing jokes with these guys and

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Speaker 1: going truly, I see they have a future. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm able to do stuff from the

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Speaker 1: cute parts of my life versus that stuff that became

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Speaker 1: very upsetting and just too much for me. Think you

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Speaker 1: the outlet for a lot of people in what way

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Speaker 1: you were. You were saying the things that everybody was

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Speaker 1: too scared to say. You had the anger that everybody

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Speaker 1: was too scared to. I do get a lot of

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Speaker 1: in the old days, and you were voice for them. Well,

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Speaker 1: but a lot of it is that women who are like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I could never stick up for myself

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Speaker 1: or yell at somebody you're handle a heckler, or I

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Speaker 1: could never like speak my mind. And I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: so I hoped you find a voice that's good. Hopefully

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Speaker 1: it was a good voice and not a fucking weird

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Speaker 1: Q and on drump voice. Hopefully it was a democratic

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Speaker 1: voice that showed everybody is equal. But you know, I

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Speaker 1: can't control who my fans are either. I think most

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Speaker 1: of them got it for the right reasons, since so

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Speaker 1: many people of different races, as you know with your shows,

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Speaker 1: they're the ones who show up when it's mostly different

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Speaker 1: people than white people. You know you're doing it right.

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Speaker 1: I'm finding more white people showing up on my shows nowadays,

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Speaker 1: which is interesting. Test to make sure that there are

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Speaker 1: democrats before you let them in, because I would, um, well,

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Speaker 1: we live in a weird time where the things I'm

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Speaker 1: saying are like, these people agree, and then those people

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Speaker 1: agreeing on like, it's interesting. How did I get these

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Speaker 1: people who agree on this? Well, that is good because

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Speaker 1: the liberals that are that are are are not the

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Speaker 1: flaky snowflake liberals. Well, that's the good ones, the ones

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Speaker 1: who didn't go too far, like the ones Bill Maher

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Speaker 1: really likes, like love one Bill Maher talks about, like

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Speaker 1: the right kind of liberals, and then the ones who

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Speaker 1: are going, you know, we should have separate um dorms

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Speaker 1: for black students. It's awful to national anthems, all that bullshit.

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Speaker 1: He's like, separate but equal is a bad thing. So

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Speaker 1: we get those liberals, which I liked, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: like that at the end of every show, towards the end,

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Speaker 1: I had to do a big thing about don't come

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Speaker 1: up to me at the end because I've had this

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Speaker 1: happen and say, oh, I really love them. You jokes

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Speaker 1: if you're picking out one group you don't like, you

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Speaker 1: don't belong in the audience, get the funk out right now.

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Speaker 1: So I would have to like address these people who

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Speaker 1: might actually be racist. And I hated it, you know,

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Speaker 1: but again, what did you do that at the end

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Speaker 1: of the show? I did it after every show or

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Speaker 1: at the end of every I made it funny, you know,

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Speaker 1: but I always address it. And I also did this too.

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Speaker 1: I would always say, and don't come up to me

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Speaker 1: after this is how you knew I was annoyed. I'd

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Speaker 1: always go and don't come up to me and asked

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Speaker 1: for an autograph. You want something, you fucking buy some ship.

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Speaker 1: I got a fat husband and to goddamn dogs to feed.

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Speaker 1: I'm the only income. Don't fuck it. And you know

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Speaker 1: everybody bought you after that if you warn them and

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Speaker 1: have to take notes on this one. Yeah, I hate that.

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Speaker 1: Eddie is my assistant, but he seems to think he's

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Speaker 1: just my T shirt sellers. Yeah, yeah, I don't do that.

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Speaker 1: Don't do that. You know how he sells T shirts.

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Speaker 1: He literally does this. He holds it up. Oh hey, guys,

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Speaker 1: T shirts. No. I used to frock. I used to

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Speaker 1: have an opening act would promote and would freaking work it.

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Speaker 1: But I think what you do is to warn people

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Speaker 1: what you don't like and how you don't like to

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Speaker 1: be treated. I didn't like when they'd come up to

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Speaker 1: me and say, good show, Lisa, and I'd say during

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Speaker 1: that into the show, I going don't come up to

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Speaker 1: me and call me by my first name either. It's

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Speaker 1: miss lamp and Ellie. Do you I'm better than you

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Speaker 1: and Richard and I have more money and more fans,

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Speaker 1: and I hate you die. Call me miss lamp and Ellie.

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Speaker 1: Do you know Miss lamp and Ellie may I? I

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Speaker 1: love that ship. Oh I should, actually you know. I'm

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Speaker 1: glad you brought all this up. I'm going to make

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Speaker 1: the guys on the podcast call me Miss lamp and

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Speaker 1: ell from now on. Do they think they are bou

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Speaker 1: McDowell and Nick Scope They are no Scopelletti. Of course

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Speaker 1: you have to have an Italian in there. And their

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Speaker 1: two comics been doing this about three years and again. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The reason it occurred because they were so funny that

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I like this, and they can

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Speaker 1: talk about deep issues and not shy away because of

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Speaker 1: their age. People my age won't go on and be

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Speaker 1: vulnerable and talk about things like fear of success, acceptance,

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Speaker 1: daring to be bad at something like, all these deep

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Speaker 1: things that everybody wrestles with. Millennials will talk about. So

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Speaker 1: that's why I like them, because they're not all closed

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Speaker 1: up as men. I can't believe straight guys will go

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Speaker 1: deep about subjects, So that's why we do the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Then I get to make fun of them a little bit. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you get to mock them a little bit. That's always

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Speaker 1: well and always then then I helped them. That's how

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Speaker 1: I am. I'm gonna give a God damn if I'm

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Speaker 1: not giving sexually for the past seventeen years. Now it's seventeen,

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Speaker 1: I might as well give these guys. Yeah, yes, there

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Speaker 1: up there, wait a minute, but yeah, I'm very proud

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Speaker 1: of it. I just go it's me being me at

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Speaker 1: my best. I think until ten years from now, where

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Speaker 1: I'm like now in the ballroom dancer and Dancing with

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Speaker 1: the stars. I'm just putting out there. If you listen,

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Speaker 1: you cast me in that you'd be good on Dancing

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Speaker 1: with the Stars. I could be the world's oldest winner.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying, you know, they didn't they have somebody

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Speaker 1: on it was like one it though she didn't say

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Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. Remember when Jeff Ross broke his hip

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Speaker 1: and I was like, why you really do want to

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Speaker 1: be an old cat skull coment, don't you? That was awesome?

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Speaker 1: That was roast man. They're not as good anymore, huh

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Speaker 1: that I don't find them as as good? Little and

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Speaker 1: I'm saying that after you and Giralda, I was like,

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Speaker 1: man and Patrese only got to do one. Well, Patrese,

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Speaker 1: he was mean Patrese's I mean, I love patres and

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Speaker 1: I used to sleep on his and Keith Robinson's couch

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Speaker 1: back in the Who Meanest People to Live with? But

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Speaker 1: Keith isn't mean. Keith is fucking hilarious. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I was so thin skinned. IM problems with all those

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Speaker 1: guys because I was so thin skinned. And I do

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Speaker 1: blame myself fifty because I can. I'm an insult comic

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Speaker 1: who can't take a joke. That's like being a porn

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Speaker 1: star that's allergic to see man. I get it. That's

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Speaker 1: like being a pedophile who doesn't like children's parties. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we get at least to take a joke. But I literally,

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Speaker 1: I literally was so thin skinned that I thought they

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Speaker 1: all hated me. But also like I just could like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not mean off stage, so I couldn't understand why

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Speaker 1: they were sparring off stage. I was like, you guys,

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Speaker 1: they in my head, I was going, why not just

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Speaker 1: limited to the stage? Like if I walked in here

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Speaker 1: today and you were just like, hey, making fun all

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Speaker 1: the time, You'll be like, oh my god, Russell, get

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Speaker 1: more stage time, you fucking douche. You know. So I

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Speaker 1: always thought they hated me. If they did, they did,

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Speaker 1: that's fine, But I do blame myself for being so

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Speaker 1: I mean, even now I'm super thin and skinned, like

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Speaker 1: I just really I mean, not about stuff I can accept.

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Speaker 1: Like I can accept I'm getting older, so age jokes

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Speaker 1: don't bother me. But if somebody like comments me with

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Speaker 1: stuff I'm really insecure about, it really hurts. I get that.

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Speaker 1: I got people saying the wrong thing to me online,

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Speaker 1: and I immediately block them. See that's smart. I just

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Speaker 1: don't read and stuff. I'm like, oh, really, is that

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Speaker 1: what you want to think? They're smart? Fuck? And then

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Speaker 1: I I removed them as a follower, and then I

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Speaker 1: blocked them. I go there you go, motherfucker, I gotta

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Speaker 1: do more of that because I don't have too many

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Speaker 1: people doing that since I retired. But I remember I

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Speaker 1: went to the This is definitely a humble brag. I

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Speaker 1: was invited to the opening night of Hamilton's. So I

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Speaker 1: was a big shot back then, so you got to

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Speaker 1: every celebrity was still a big shot. Well, I'm an

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Speaker 1: addicated big shot. So what ends up happening? This Hamilton's,

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Speaker 1: as you know, the best biggest hit ever. So I'm

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Speaker 1: on the red carpet. For some reason, I got picked

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Speaker 1: as one of the best dressed, and I will admit

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Speaker 1: I looked really good. Well, I'm off in and my

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Speaker 1: dresses beautiful. I'm so happy. Well I get all these

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Speaker 1: great comments and one moment goes, yeah, you look good

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Speaker 1: from the neck down, but you're you really need to

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Speaker 1: do some surgery on your face, which, by the way,

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Speaker 1: I just don't believe in a day Yeah, and I

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Speaker 1: just go, wow, isn't it interesting how that didn't hurt

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Speaker 1: my feelings because I accept my face. But if she

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Speaker 1: had said, oh, I bet you're going to get fat again,

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Speaker 1: I would have had hurt feelings. So the things we

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Speaker 1: can't control and the things I can't control anything, but

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Speaker 1: the things we feel we should be able to control,

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Speaker 1: like our body or our career. Those are the things

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Speaker 1: get hurt that don't I look like agether. I should

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Speaker 1: have played her sister, and you still can. I told

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Speaker 1: you late to the party always. I had that idea

395
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Speaker 1: to be these Falco sister after the Sopranos was done.

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Speaker 1: To ever tell you I was in a movie David Chase, made,

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Speaker 1: the creator of the Sopranos, made a movie about his

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Speaker 1: life called Not Fade Away, and he asked me as

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Speaker 1: his to play one of his aunts because I reminded

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Speaker 1: him of her. Dude. After that, this is before my

401
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:12,359
Speaker 1: fabulous two Broke Girls experience. Dude, I came home every

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Speaker 1: day sobbing. It was the best movie ever. It's such

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Speaker 1: a good movie. I was so bad, or I thought

404
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Speaker 1: I was so bad, and I put so much pressure

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Speaker 1: on myself that I came home sobbing every day and said,

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Speaker 1: you suck. David Chase did not smile once. Fast forward

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Speaker 1: twelve years later, I read David Chase never smiles. He

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Speaker 1: has resting bitch face. I took it personally, so I

409
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Speaker 1: think I should not. I should have asked him, Hey,

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Speaker 1: David Chase, am I doing good? And he would have

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Speaker 1: said yes, or you're cut out of the movie. Was

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Speaker 1: so listen. I think the lesson we have here is

413
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Speaker 1: don't judge yourself harshly. If you think someone hate, you

414
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Speaker 1: asked them, do you hate me? If it's you, my

415
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 1: Jewish friend, They're gonna say yes. Me and Russell people

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Speaker 1: will probably like us and they'll say no, I just

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Speaker 1: have rest gun face. I have resting gun face. But

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Speaker 1: isn't it terrible to make? That's in right there? Look

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Speaker 1: he never smiled. He's with Candelfinie the greatest actor except

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Speaker 1: for Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert Downey Jr. Who I think

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Speaker 1: are fantastic. I think the Caprio is the best, isn't he?

422
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,360
Speaker 1: I think he's fucking incredible. He is so good, departed

423
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 1: at my right everything, catch me if you can catch me,

424
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:25,679
Speaker 1: if he can. Do you cry when you see that?

425
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 1: I cry? I never cried, but I just really enjoyed

426
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 1: the movie. Wow at the end, the thing with the Father.

427
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,160
Speaker 1: I just always I'm like, wow, yeah the Father stuff

428
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 1: will get me sometimes, you know, movie made me cry.

429
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 1: Fucking click Adam Sandler movie we had the remote and

430
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 1: he could fast forward his life. I don't watch I

431
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 1: don't watch these things. Well, no, he had. There was

432
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 1: a scene if the New York Times doesn't like it,

433
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 1: I don't watch it. I'm classy. He fast forward it through,

434
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,679
Speaker 1: fast forwarded through his life, and he went to the

435
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,479
Speaker 1: future and his dad was dead, and he was like,

436
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,159
Speaker 1: where's my dad? And he was like, he died. You

437
00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,879
Speaker 1: were mean to him, and I was like, wow, that

438
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 1: is sad. And then I was like, my dad just

439
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: died at that time, and I was like, there, it's circumstantial.

440
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,199
Speaker 1: This sucks. You never go on antidepressants and it was

441
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 1: just because you were supposed to be sad, Like I

442
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,920
Speaker 1: was such an idiot. I I fully appreciate that people

443
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,239
Speaker 1: now embrace their mental help, they take meds. I think

444
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: it's all fantastic for me though I was never clinically depressed.

445
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 1: But I decided, wait, I'm a little sad my father died.

446
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: I'll go on lexa Pro. What a fucking idiot I was.

447
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 1: I didn't need it. It didn't make me less sad.

448
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 1: What I did was, do you know how hard it

449
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: is getting off lexapro? Once you're on it, it's literal

450
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:42,440
Speaker 1: detox and so it took me six months to get

451
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 1: it makes you have an imbalance. Yeah, but a friend

452
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 1: of mine used to do a joke about, um, what's

453
00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 1: the other antidepressant the first x X? What was the

454
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 1: first first one that everybody was paxel It begins with

455
00:22:57,359 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 1: a P. I think it was bantidepressants. Well, no, no,

456
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: that it was like get the smile on David Chase.

457
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: By the way, that's a nondepressed human being, right there, Eddie.

458
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,880
Speaker 1: We don't need you trying to read right now. It

459
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 1: was you know, I think the girl has to look

460
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 1: at them, That's what it was. Yeah, they're all the same.

461
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:19,919
Speaker 1: He used to do a joke he said, this is me,

462
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: this is my life before prozac. My life sucks. This

463
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:28,360
Speaker 1: is me on prozac. My life sucks. Yes, yes, your circumstances,

464
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,719
Speaker 1: you're still your life still sucks, you're just happier about it.

465
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 1: A lot of us men have been conditioned to be

466
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: these tough guys, stiff upper lip types who hold in

467
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,120
Speaker 1: our feelings like they're a burgeoning fart in an elevator.

468
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: But it's not healthy to hold in your feelings, guys,

469
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 1: so please don't let it keep you from seeking the

470
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,719
Speaker 1: mental health you need. I'm not ashamed to say that

471
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,959
Speaker 1: talking to a therapist has really helped me through some

472
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: tough times, and my only regret is waiting as long

473
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 1: as I did to start. Just like it helps to

474
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 1: hire personal trainer when you're working on your physical health,

475
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 1: the same is true about meeting with a therapist to

476
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 1: work on your mental health. Talk Space makes it possible

477
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: to speak with a license therapist right from your phone, tablet,

478
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 1: or computer. It could not be easier, and unlike traditional therapy,

479
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 1: you can message your therapist any time via text, video,

480
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 1: or voice. It's secure and stigma free, the way therapy

481
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 1: should be. I know starting something new can be hard,

482
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: but I promise you talk Space makes the whole process

483
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 1: incredibly simple. It's one of the most hassle free, easy

484
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 1: to use services I've ever encountered so far, ast which

485
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 1: is not always true of traditional in person therapists. Talk

486
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,719
Speaker 1: Space has all the benefits of therapy without the hassle

487
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 1: of setting appointments and waiting a week or more between conversations.

488
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:55,119
Speaker 1: Whether you struggle with anxiety, depression, self doubt, or anything else,

489
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: talk Space gives you access to help you need to

490
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: move forward facing these obstacles as an easy and let

491
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 1: me tell you something. You don't want a prize for

492
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 1: doing it alone, So get the help you need with

493
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 1: talk space. Join talk space today and start moving forward

494
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 1: with a single message. Just visit talk space dot com

495
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 1: and get one hundred dollars off your first month when

496
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: you use promo code peters a sign up that's one

497
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 1: off at talk space dot com promo code peters. I

498
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: just really approve of people being on it who need it.

499
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 1: I never needed it, and I was such an idiot.

500
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 1: And then this past summer, by the way, during the pandemic,

501
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: I call a friend and it was a really tough

502
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,880
Speaker 1: summer from me because I was doing all this trauma therapy.

503
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 1: I've never had a trauma with a capital T, but

504
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,959
Speaker 1: lots of small T dramas like all of us. So

505
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,199
Speaker 1: I'm doing all this drama work. It's all really intense.

506
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,400
Speaker 1: So pick a pandemic to do it during. Yeah, that's

507
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 1: a good idea, got time. Yeah, so I did. That

508
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,359
Speaker 1: was why I call a friend. I'm crying. I'm like, dude,

509
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,400
Speaker 1: I don't know. I didn't even know why I'm hearing anymore.

510
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 1: I mean I have no hobbies. I'm useless. I really

511
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,919
Speaker 1: didn't didn't do anything for the world. And you know,

512
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 1: you just go through that and uh, you know it's

513
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 1: gonna pass. But at the time it feels real. Shels

514
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 1: to me. Just take lex a pro and I'm like,

515
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 1: but I think I called the wrong friend because this

516
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 1: wasn't right for me. It works for her. But no,

517
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 1: get on drugs. You'll feel so much about now. And

518
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm not a drinker. I don't like booze. I never

519
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 1: liked the pot. I've never tried a hard drug. He

520
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 1: laughed at the pot, and so I just there's And

521
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: by the way, when you ask your brother, that former

522
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 1: fat fuck, ask him, I love him. He always treated

523
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: me nice. Now we don't have food to go to?

524
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,439
Speaker 1: What do you do with your feelings? Like? I got

525
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: what do I do? I don't f I don't eat.

526
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 1: What do I do? How can't I yell and cry

527
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: at the front staff at the Peninsula? I love the

528
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 1: Peninsula because I steal her towks have a big p

529
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 1: on them. Can I tell you what they'll do for you?

530
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 1: By the way, if you say they're a lot so

531
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 1: you don't have to, could you live here Peninsula. Literally,

532
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 1: if you bring your dogs, there's an embroidered towel with

533
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,719
Speaker 1: the dog's name on it. There's a doggy menu. And

534
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:13,200
Speaker 1: they once had my sheets embroidered with Queen of Mean

535
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 1: that's badass. I saved that ship, like I threw out

536
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 1: a lot of my memorabilia, but I'm saving those sheets.

537
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 1: Are you kidding? Because for the clan rally j J

538
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 1: K J Kally in Glorious Bastard. Oh my god, Russell,

539
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 1: what is the world coming to? I'm so glad I

540
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 1: did your podcast because I thought they said Russell brands

541
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 1: and I said, look at this. He has eighty million downloads,

542
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 1: he's got a hundred and seventy two thousand reviews. He

543
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: has aunt though, no, I don't know him. I'm just kidding,

544
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 1: is he? I'm no kidding. I have no problem saying it.

545
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,959
Speaker 1: That's good. So I'll tell you what. Let me tell

546
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: you why, because let's hear this like one years ago, specifically,

547
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 1: when I was in England, he was an open mic

548
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: open micro and I would do all these I was

549
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: doing all these sets to get ready for Edinburgh at

550
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,199
Speaker 1: the time, because I was doing Edinburgh that year, and

551
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 1: he would always be doing these open mics and it

552
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: was it was always very nice and like and he

553
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 1: was like, hey, Russell, I do and it's Russell Brandon.

554
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,400
Speaker 1: And when we did the gig and I go, hey, dude,

555
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,159
Speaker 1: man go to see it and he hit like a

556
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 1: tan so I was like, are you sure you're not

557
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,959
Speaker 1: sucking like half Indian or something. No, No, I'm just

558
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: English and I'm like, okay, cool and uh. Then he

559
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: started making it and doing movies and becoming famous and

560
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,640
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I remember that kid. That's so awesome.

561
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 1: I was so happy for the guy. I'm at the

562
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 1: grove here in l A and I see him and

563
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: I go, hey, Russell, I'm excited to see the guy

564
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: going and Russell. He goes, how you doing, mate, and

565
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: I go, no, it's Russell Peters. He goes, you're nice

566
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: to meet you, and I'm like, yeah, I go nice

567
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 1: to me. We used to do We should do gigs together,

568
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: like back in two thousand and Madam Joejoe's and all

569
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 1: these places in London. He goes to be honest with you,

570
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 1: I don't really remember much from back then, always probably

571
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 1: and I go yeah, yeah, But I was like but

572
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 1: still a dick move. Yeah, And I was like, I

573
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,160
Speaker 1: was like really, and he's like, good luck, man, good luck.

574
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm like, fuck you, pal. And then

575
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, So I've seehim at the

576
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 1: comedy store again one night, maybe about it a year

577
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 1: and a half later, two years later, maybe a few

578
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: years later. And I had my Rolls Royce with me

579
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 1: at the time, and I and I'm and I'm standing

580
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 1: by my car and I go and I see him

581
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 1: and I go, oh, might, and he goes, oh, there's

582
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: an englishman over there. And then I go, how you

583
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: doing man? He goes, hey, mate, nice to meet you.

584
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 1: And I'm like and I was like, fuck you, Pal,

585
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 1: I don't. And then let me tell you something. Here's

586
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 1: one thing I like about you. I have. There's many

587
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 1: things I like about you, but one is that you're

588
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 1: actually happy for people when they make it. You could

589
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 1: be just play acting that, but you really present and

590
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 1: I'm pretty good at reading it's bullshit. I think you

591
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: actually were happy for him, and you're happy for others

592
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 1: that we've talked about. So that's a very rare quality.

593
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: By the way, in mixing, and we have to fight

594
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: being competitive. It's really tough to but you fight it

595
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: and you were legit happy for him. What was so funny?

596
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: I had a similar incident and it didn't end as

597
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 1: badly with Jim Gaffigan. Because my appearance has changed so

598
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 1: much people don't recognize me anymore. But I used to

599
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 1: live on the Upper West Side. I saw him walking

600
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 1: and I was like, Jim, and he's like, hey, how

601
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: you doing. And I was like, thinking, I'm a fan.

602
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 1: He no, dude, Lapelli. He's like, holy sh it. But

603
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 1: you almost get in the mindset of this is just

604
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: a fan coming up to me. So he quickly got

605
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: out of it. This Russell didn't even like freaking didn't

606
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: even you have to. And by the way, gaff Agan

607
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: always was. I don't know him well at all, but

608
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 1: I do remember when we were open micing together, like

609
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: legit Connecticut open micing, not even the city. My first

610
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 1: joke ever that I ever did is still one of

611
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: my funniest and I love it. It's just it's so

612
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: so silly. But Gaffigan always said it was his favorite

613
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: joke ever, and I was always just honored that he

614
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: liked it so much. Well back then I was just

615
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: doing it. Was an open mic. I was just doing five.

616
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 1: My first five minutes was about food and weight and diets.

617
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 1: So I remember when um I had a joke during

618
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 1: my first little five minutes at where I got up.

619
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: I just recently watched this because I made my podcast

620
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 1: buddies watch it, and they were like, wow, you were

621
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 1: good even back then. So I said something like, you know,

622
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: I really hate when I go and people have to

623
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: always comment on my weight. I go, I go into

624
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: work the other day and I'm seven minutes late, seven

625
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 1: minutes late. So my boss goes Lisa and it's gonna

626
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 1: not land. Well, he's seven minutes late. She goes Lisa,

627
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: here's seven minutes later. I go, you're saying I'm fat.

628
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: So that's like, that's a good joke, okay. And then

629
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 1: I had a call back at the end, and Gaffigan

630
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: loved because that's the way his style. It's clean. And

631
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: by the way, speaking of clean, that's the worst advice

632
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: I ever got in comedy, but from the best intentionally

633
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: nineties that's all you gotta go clean barrow. Guess who

634
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: told me that? Riggles. This made me laugh so hard.

635
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: And what a gentleman though, because he's the Friar's Club

636
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:05,640
Speaker 1: set me up to meet him because they knew he

637
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 1: was my hero and I did insult comedy. So I

638
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: meet him and it's old school, it's Atlantic City, and he's,

639
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 1: you know, after the show, he's in his talks, takes

640
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: off the jacket, has a robe over the tucks, you know,

641
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: that whole thing. So he goes to me and he's

642
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: the best. He goes, so I here, you know, you

643
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 1: do that kind of thing that I do. That's great,

644
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 1: good that dad. Just do yourself a favor. Stay clean,

645
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: work clean. And at the time it's was cunn concun

646
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: all the time. He goes, because you'll get this because

647
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: you'll work everywhere. So I go, oh my god, thank you,

648
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: Mr Rickles. I will I leave, and I go on

649
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 1: on my one off to do a fucking bar Men's Phil.

650
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 1: I'm saying what I want, but in my heart I

651
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 1: knew I should. I didn't mind the Rickles gave me

652
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,959
Speaker 1: the advice because that's his journey and his path. But

653
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 1: I hated when comics who weren't successful yet and had

654
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 1: like one TV special or not not not a special,

655
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 1: or when TV deal that never happened. I would say

656
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: you know, there was this one guy who had a

657
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: deal out of Montreal TV show never got made. Huh

658
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: he said to me, He goes, look, I like what

659
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 1: you do. I forget his name. I like what you do.

660
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 1: But you know what saying those ethnic slurs the kids,

661
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 1: she does not say those, And I don't know. Man,

662
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 1: It's fucking great. I love it because people love me

663
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 1: of those persuasions and they get it and you don't.

664
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 1: And you're white. So if I want career advice, I'll

665
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 1: have somebody with a career like I literally knew what

666
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: I wanted so bad and knew I was right that

667
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 1: I didn't mind being that insulting to him. But I'm like,

668
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 1: why would people give unsolicited advice? Like did I ask

669
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 1: this white motherfucker? No, Riles Rickles, I'll take it. Yeah,

670
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,440
Speaker 1: the white guy who's TV show never got made and

671
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 1: you had two minutes at Entrey. He grew You grew

672
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:47,959
Speaker 1: up with the Rickles, didn't you? Rickles and the New

673
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 1: Heart Kids. Yeah. Wow. When I first met Rickles and going, hey,

674
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: don I'm Russell Peters. I'm a commediy goes, yeah, yeah,

675
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: the Indian kid, Indian kid, right, He remembers oh wow.

676
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 1: And he was like, you know, don't use f and

677
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 1: s and and cute and don't hurt feelings. I don't know,

678
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: I don't hurt feelings, but the F and s is

679
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,919
Speaker 1: are kind of inevitable, and ces and fear me. Yeah,

680
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 1: the ces and the peace and we'll let you guess

681
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,720
Speaker 1: what the P is. But I think two with Riggles,

682
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 1: you respected it because it was old fashioned, old school

683
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 1: and because we all looked up to him. Of course

684
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 1: we still do. And I think what's funny about Riggles

685
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: is his legendary offstage warmth. And I actually was like,

686
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 1: I wonder if he really is. And then I just

687
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 1: witnessed the second time I showed up at his book signing.

688
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: I didn't be like, oh hi, it's Lisa, remember me.

689
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:38,439
Speaker 1: He fucking just remembered. And I'm like, here's an eighty something,

690
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: you're old guy who remembers who you are and was

691
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 1: so kind and come on, Tony, get the picture with

692
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 1: me in her. She does I love goes. She does

693
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,879
Speaker 1: the thing I do. I'm like, yeah, I do fu. Yeah,

694
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: if I want to steal from anyone to do so.

695
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,439
Speaker 1: I just think sometimes the old school ones just knew

696
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 1: how to live their lives better. They got it, but

697
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 1: they came from we I mean, they came from more

698
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 1: struggle than we came from. We came from a different struggle.

699
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 1: And then I just saw something on Instagram that that

700
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,799
Speaker 1: made a lot of sense. Uh this there was some

701
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 1: TikTok post some guy posted. But he said, um my,

702
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 1: so my grand my grandfather walked ten miles to work.

703
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 1: My father walked five miles to work. I walked two

704
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 1: miles to work. My son drives to work in a

705
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: in a in a car. My grandson drives to work, Uh,

706
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 1: in a corvette. My great grandson drives to work in

707
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 1: a Ferrari. My great great grandson will walk to work.

708
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: He said, because the more you struggle, the more you

709
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,280
Speaker 1: learn how to make it, and the less you struggle,

710
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: the more you're gonna end up being fucked in the

711
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:51,920
Speaker 1: long run. Like you know what, I ended up feeling

712
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 1: sorry and compassion for rich kids because I remember I

713
00:35:56,160 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: worked at Spy magazine. Remember, yeah, this guy's pit pitiable,

714
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:06,799
Speaker 1: um pitiable, Remember, but he's honestly the coolest. Have you

715
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 1: had therapy he could work on yourself? Because I remember,

716
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 1: like I worked at Spy when it was a start up.

717
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: I was a journalist before I was a comic, so

718
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 1: it was a magazine, very hip, cool, well you know,

719
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,320
Speaker 1: lots of money behind it, like JFK Jr. On the front,

720
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,919
Speaker 1: and um all these rich, rich, rich Harvard kids worked there.

721
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,160
Speaker 1: And I was like, how did I get this job?

722
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 1: I did a one eight week, six week program during

723
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 1: the summer at Harvard where you can actually just buy

724
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 1: your way into a six week program. And I was

725
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 1: like they kind of I tricked them into thinking I

726
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 1: was smart. So I was like, okay, but I met

727
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 1: a lot of rich kids and I was like, I've

728
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 1: never been around that at all. I mean, we were

729
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 1: up really so middle class, lower middle class, even it

730
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 1: was your family. One of my family was one of

731
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: those ones that if somebody had air conditioning in their car,

732
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 1: were like, wow, yeah, no, we didn't have it my parents.

733
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,879
Speaker 1: Guess what my parents got home air conditioning was when

734
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 1: I moved back with them when I start in the

735
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 1: comedy for a year, and they felt sorry for me

736
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,240
Speaker 1: sweating my cunt off upstairs, and my father was like, Gloria,

737
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: we really got to get the A C for Lisa.

738
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 1: So anyway, but these kids at this spy. I was like, Wow,

739
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 1: their parents leave them alone. They went to boarding school.

740
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 1: I thought it sounds like the saddest life. And then

741
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:21,800
Speaker 1: they were telling me about their drug and alcohol struggles

742
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: and they're sober, thank God, and this and that, and

743
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you had it much worse than anybody

744
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: growing up middle class and the trauma of whatever. There's

745
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 1: their problems were harder to fix. Ours were motivation. Yeah,

746
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 1: we were motivated, and they were like they were struggling

747
00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:39,920
Speaker 1: to try and reach that level that their parents had

748
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,280
Speaker 1: made right. Well, like, look, who who you feel sorry

749
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 1: for is? Uh the kids of um Woody Allen and

750
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: Me and Pharaoh, Like that's some crazy fucking ship. And

751
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: they didn't want for anything of material wise, but they

752
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 1: were all left up. So you just go, nobody really

753
00:37:56,239 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 1: has it easy. You know. It's about perspective, it really is.

754
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 1: I just wish that. Oh. I just love the parents

755
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: that my brother and my sister are, Like, they've just

756
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 1: made themselves into really good parents. And I think it's

757
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 1: because of who they picked of their They were smart

758
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,920
Speaker 1: enough to be attracted to the right qualities in a person.

759
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 1: I just never was. And that's the one UM regret.

760
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 1: I have not not having kids because I never wanted kids.

761
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,320
Speaker 1: It never occurred to me. I'm such a badass that

762
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,399
Speaker 1: if it occurs to me, I get it. Drinking never

763
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 1: occurred to me. Terrible, hated it. I started drinking. Yeah,

764
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 1: but you know what I do regret is this not

765
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: having grandkids. Like I say to you, that's the shift

766
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:43,839
Speaker 1: it took. I went to a shrink once we're talking

767
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:46,399
Speaker 1: about loss and regret, and she's like, well, why don't

768
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 1: you just pretend that your nieces and nephews are your grandkids.

769
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck, yeah. So I spoiled them and it's fun,

770
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 1: and it's like, now that they're having kids, I'm expecting

771
00:38:56,480 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 1: my first great whatever. Just Greg grant something this week

772
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, I can spoil, make that little

773
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:10,759
Speaker 1: one into a spoilt to My brother used to work

774
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 1: for ESPN. He was a producer of Sports Center Now,

775
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 1: so he's a sports guy from way back and he

776
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 1: just retired, so that's cool. My sister started off get

777
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,400
Speaker 1: this stockbroker, and then she was like fuck this became

778
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 1: a school teacher. Now she works in the school, which,

779
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,440
Speaker 1: trust me, I have never thought of her as patient.

780
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 1: She got a job we're going to at this freaking

781
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 1: high school for kids with like social anxiety and ship

782
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:37,919
Speaker 1: like all of them have special challenges. She's the most

783
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 1: patient person. I know what the and I'm like, what

784
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:42,879
Speaker 1: the funk happened to you? No? On middle of course,

785
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 1: you know, we need attention, which is why I'm sitting

786
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 1: here in your freezing cold outdoor. P I would like

787
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,319
Speaker 1: that heat back, please please, And you got to go

788
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 1: container over there. I'm getting hungry. What's going on? Food good?

789
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 1: I might have to have a little nash. We got

790
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 1: no But I mean, I think we all middle kids

791
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: seem to need some kind of attention. It's either the

792
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 1: middle kid or the baby. I'm the baby. See my

793
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 1: brother's the baby, and he needs none and hates any attention.

794
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: He won't even let you book candles on a cake.

795
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't want to just don't attention. But

796
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 1: I don't like birthday ship like the happy birthday and

797
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 1: the cake and on that, And I'm like, just give

798
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: me the cake and SA happy birthday and walk away

799
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 1: because you're fat. You're just kidding you. You you do

800
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 1: not look fat. Your face is a bit round. All

801
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 1: will be. Yeah, that's where it goes to on me.

802
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 1: That's where it goes to on me. You're lucky. It

803
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 1: goes there. Well, no, it goes here. But I've been

804
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 1: dropping again recently against your gun. No wants. It's gone flat.

805
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 1: It's actually it's kind of nice right now. I've seen worse.

806
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 1: I've seen worse. H he left up your tits. We

807
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 1: shouldn't fat, Chaine, but it's so much fun. It's the

808
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: one last thing you can say. And I'm going to

809
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 1: be canceled by them too, because I got all these

810
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,919
Speaker 1: um fat positivity people. I find knows they won't march.

811
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 1: They really liked me, I think, until I got weight

812
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 1: loss surgery. Now I'm a trader, but like I just

813
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 1: kind of wanted to have a little taste of adulthood

814
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 1: where I didn't hate how I was from the neck down,

815
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 1: you know. And also it's a health thing too, Like

816
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:17,879
Speaker 1: I didn't want to die early. How could I rob

817
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 1: the world of this gift? That's all I'm saying. How

818
00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: can I rob them? I'm gonna quit? That's true too,

819
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 1: that's true too. Oh my god, So are we guys

820
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 1: the time to eat? I mean, you want you want

821
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 1: to get out of here? We can wrap it up.

822
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:37,399
Speaker 1: But how long we've been? Seriously, not talked this long

823
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: until I will tomorrow at a way better podcast. J

824
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 1: K love you. No, my podcast is actually called Losers

825
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 1: with a Dream. Seriously, if you don't mind going deep

826
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 1: into issues that we all struggle with but then laughing

827
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 1: about them, you should tune in. Lisa Lampanelli rare formed

828
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: the New lamp and ally suck it, Bitch available. You

829
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 1: don't have I have on my phone but a drop

830
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 1: that you did for one of my DJ friends. Oh

831
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:14,720
Speaker 1: my god, was it racist? It was? He was white?

832
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 1: Oh no, DJ spen Bad, you did a drop? I did?

833
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: I remember that? I think he had. He asked me

834
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: like twelve times and then I got embarrassed and finally

835
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 1: did he did? Let me see? I have it here

836
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,359
Speaker 1: on Oh here it is right here. Okay, let's hear it. Hey,

837
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 1: DJ spen Bad, it's comedies, lovable Queen of Me and

838
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 1: least Lampanelle. I'm in a room with two Indians, a

839
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:36,719
Speaker 1: k a. Sand Negroes, three blacks. The other guy who's unidentifiable.

840
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,239
Speaker 1: We're not sure what he did commit a crime? Look

841
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: at him for God's sake. Anyway, you gotta admit this

842
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 1: ship is better than Larry King's. That old bastard, that

843
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,359
Speaker 1: guy so wold he holds his balls when he takes

844
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 1: a ship. Okay, and John bon Jovi? Could he be

845
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 1: more of a stuttering prick, oh my god? Or a retard?

846
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,840
Speaker 1: And what about this Mark hamla way to keep those

847
00:42:56,880 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 1: guys up to date? Would you like? Who can we

848
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 1: it for you? Next melt tour? May fucking Russell Peters

849
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:07,759
Speaker 1: and hate him love DJ because he had told me

850
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: he goes. I got all these celebrities who gave me

851
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:13,319
Speaker 1: these drops, and there were three idiots and I'm just like,

852
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 1: but I was friendly with Larry King from the roast,

853
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 1: so that's why I had that joke. But I would

854
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 1: like to put out a retroactive apology for the R word.

855
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 1: I do not approve of the R word, although it

856
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 1: is a really fun word, and I'm sorry that the

857
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:31,399
Speaker 1: world has retarded my growth. And that's the proper use

858
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 1: of the word. By the way, isn't it terrible? Well,

859
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,359
Speaker 1: you know what, it'll all come back around, just like

860
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 1: the guy with the kid with the ferrari all that

861
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 1: it will come back. I'll come back maybe when I'm

862
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 1: made I'll have burned through my money that my supposedly

863
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 1: I'm going to outlet her. They say, yeah, and now

864
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 1: I'll have to come back. But by then they'll be

865
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,399
Speaker 1: starving for Lisa Lamp and Ellie and they'll they'll see

866
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 1: me on that stage and you know what, they'll say,

867
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 1: who that's all? I'll say, who's this grumpy old lady?

868
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:04,279
Speaker 1: Who's this grumpy bitch opening for Russell? You're gonna become

869
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 1: a throat. You're gonna be like the nineties tours that

870
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 1: are happening now totally. Oh my god. When you see

871
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,000
Speaker 1: who's coming back, like oh Town and all that crap,

872
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 1: You're like, how are they even alive? Jefferson Starships doing

873
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,959
Speaker 1: a show. Isn't Grace Slick dead? One of a bunch

874
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 1: of munch of these reunion shows. I mean, the Eagles

875
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 1: are on tour and they have Glenn Fry's son as

876
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:27,279
Speaker 1: the and they have the Sun. It gets little hard,

877
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:32,240
Speaker 1: although except in one case when Wolfie did Van Halen's

878
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 1: tour and then Jason Bonham did the Zeppelin. Do you

879
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 1: know what I want to do? I'm just gonna put

880
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 1: it out there now, all of you casting people who

881
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:44,880
Speaker 1: are listening. I think I'm going to say, I'm putting

882
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 1: it out there as a wish list. I do not

883
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 1: believe in manifesting by the way that bullshit where they're like,

884
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 1: speak what you want, you'll get it. No, you won't.

885
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 1: You're gonna die pennyless. The reason I believe, and I

886
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 1: just put myself out there, I'm gonna say to all

887
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,800
Speaker 1: you casting people, there's one last thing on my I

888
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 1: don't have a bucket list. I have a fucket list.

889
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 1: I will say the one thing I want to do

890
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 1: is I want to be on the best show ever.

891
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 1: You know my acting from two Broke Girls and two

892
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 1: Bad Larry Cable Guy movies and one David Chase bitch

893
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 1: Face movie. Put me in Cobra Kai as Martin Cove's

894
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 1: ex wife. I'm telling you, I want to be in

895
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:23,919
Speaker 1: Cobra Kai. Your filming season five, give Lee's a lamp

896
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:28,240
Speaker 1: and Elliott Chance. I am Johnny Lawrence in female form

897
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 1: but not really feminine. Put me on Cobra Kai. Is

898
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 1: that that the most greatest show that exists? I've actually

899
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:37,359
Speaker 1: never watched. Here's something more more annoying. I've never even

900
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,480
Speaker 1: watched The Karate Kid. Oh that's okay. Just watched Cobra Kai.

901
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 1: It is the redemption story of Johnny Lawrence, and that's

902
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 1: why it makes it good. You're a former TV personality,

903
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 1: meaning he's done nothing. Now I used to have I

904
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 1: used to have a show on the Discovery Channel. You

905
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: did what was it Discovering Your penis? Because it doesn't syramids?

906
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 1: What is it? Point man? It was I went around

907
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:03,839
Speaker 1: the world and fix things for media. Really sounds fascinating

908
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:08,800
Speaker 1: and cancelable in the same breath. Two seasons done, two seasons.

909
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:11,840
Speaker 1: But did you still getting that big Discovery residual? The

910
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 1: seventeen cents from Ironside was the windfall? I think these

911
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 1: are three cents? Actually, oh, Discovery Channel money? What what? What?

912
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 1: That Your father did nets you the most in residuals.

913
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 1: Charlie's Angels so he gets it from like even the remakes,

914
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 1: because they stole his idea. He has to go. They

915
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,320
Speaker 1: have to go to him to find it. If it's approved.

916
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,440
Speaker 1: Can't you put me in that absolutely great actress here,

917
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 1: I'll do my line from Two Broke Girls who would

918
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:41,760
Speaker 1: go let's go wait, I'm getting in characters. Give a minute, Okay, hey,

919
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:46,799
Speaker 1: don't touch my hair, I just got it, did okay?

920
00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 1: All right, you're very good I am this morning. So

921
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:55,760
Speaker 1: where do you keep that emmy? Exactly up, my lady

922
00:46:55,880 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 1: on where it belongs? All right, let's get out of here.

923
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 1: I need Eminem's all right here blood sugars alone. I

924
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 1: want to thank um my dear friend Clay Roberts for

925
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: being here here. We thank him for nothing. When he

926
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 1: casts me. You can do the thank you. You can

927
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:14,800
Speaker 1: thank him then I got to thank him today. Charlie's Angels,

928
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 1: you don't want? I could be like, is it Bosley?

929
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 1: I could be his assistant, like the old count who

930
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:24,360
Speaker 1: takes notes. I could be watching this. Why you be bossy?

931
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 1: Here's my audition. Be bossy for me to say, hey, Angels,

932
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 1: only if we can have that as your credit? The

933
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 1: old look says, if that's just a show we do

934
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:40,759
Speaker 1: for you, Why are you not doing my audition? Do

935
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:42,920
Speaker 1: I already have the part? Okay? Yeah, why don't we

936
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 1: just make me a show takes notes? Who's not watching

937
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 1: that I'm watching? Should do? Here's what they should do.

938
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 1: The original Bob Newhart Show with you as the therapist

939
00:47:55,800 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 1: or me as Marsha Wallace exactly sitting at the I'll

940
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:04,239
Speaker 1: play new hard perfect. We could call it don't know

941
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:07,720
Speaker 1: ship because you as a therapist, I can't even imagine

942
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 1: you helping anyone up. I give great advice, I don't

943
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 1: follow it. Then I give great I give great advice,

944
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 1: and I do the same. I don't follow it, but

945
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 1: I followed the advice you give to others, which is

946
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 1: why I'll probably be doing a comedy come back in

947
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:25,840
Speaker 1: twenty years. Yes, sweet, missing to do it. If you're

948
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:27,480
Speaker 1: still on the road and I get over, I will

949
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,880
Speaker 1: still be on the road. I literally have been texting

950
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 1: all day with the guys on my podcast asking about

951
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 1: my dogs because they're watching my dogs, and I said,

952
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: you kill my fucking dogs, You're dead to me. No podcast,

953
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 1: No Mark Losers with a dream. Listen every week wherever

954
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:44,880
Speaker 1: you get your podcast episodes every Monday. Lisa Lampanelli killing

955
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 1: it as always, fucking awesome woman. I don't even need

956
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: to do the extra, you see, because Lisa just did

957
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,759
Speaker 1: her own extra. This is how I do. We gave

958
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 1: him his extra. We we only need to have respect

959
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:59,279
Speaker 1: for him till he gives us his TV show, So

960
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 1: get going on that and then we'll give you more credits.

961
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 1: You see, we brought you here to validate you. Clay.

962
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I need that, Clay. I was a little

963
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:14,399
Speaker 1: nervous about sharing the space with someone, but I talked

964
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,800
Speaker 1: to you more than Russell, which truly makes me feel

965
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 1: I sensed you have more power than him. It's a jew.

966
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 1: I knew who to send. I'm not stupid, and I'm

967
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:29,399
Speaker 1: just a guy in all that purpose. Yeah, he moved

968
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 1: out of Hollywood. Where are you now, Florida? Why that's

969
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:35,799
Speaker 1: where they migrate. I don't like that for you. I

970
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:39,399
Speaker 1: like you here creating opportunities for me and Russell. I'm

971
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 1: just doing it there for tax reasons. See, boy, they

972
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 1: know what they're doing. And by they you know who

973
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:50,480
Speaker 1: I mean exactly. All right, they have to go now.

974
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: I'm very popular. I've got a dinner engagement because I

975
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,240
Speaker 1: have to eat something at your house. First, eat small

976
00:49:57,239 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 1: amounts six times a day. Really, you know why your

977
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 1: brother is you gotta eat these little fucking meals. It's horrible. Yeah,

978
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 1: you get you can drink soda anymore, right, I do

979
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 1: it anyway. I don't give a I'm a rule breaker.

980
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:11,720
Speaker 1: Love take it. Don't miserrom with me, No, seriously, I

981
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,359
Speaker 1: am like a bariatric spokespersonnel, like I do all these

982
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: podcasts for them. Let me tell you. I tell those

983
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,719
Speaker 1: bitches they but you're not supposed to drink soda. I

984
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 1: drinking on camera. I said, what's it gonna do? I

985
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 1: kept my weight off eleven years? How much better could I? Lock? Didn't?

986
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 1: They say? It perforates your You know what they said?

987
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:31,439
Speaker 1: I asked, the nutrition is recently she goes it? They

988
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 1: say it may lead to ulcers, sodas, everything, everything else.

989
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:40,440
Speaker 1: So suck my dick with the soda. That's our final

990
00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 1: sucker dick with the soda in it. That's what the

991
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: name of this episode is called, Suck my dick for

992
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:49,080
Speaker 1: a diet coke. That's it. We love you, We'll see

993
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 1: you next time on The Russell Culturally Canceled not the

994
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 1: Russell not Russell Brand show. Russell Brands mean, he's a

995
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:05,720
Speaker 1: content I like it. He's out son. Hey, thanks for listening.

996
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this conversation. If you like the podcast,

997
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 1: please be sure to rate and review it on Apple

998
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: Podcasts so more people can find out about it. And

999
00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,680
Speaker 1: if you didn't like it, go fuck yourself and follow us.

1000
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 1: On Instagram and culturally canceled and culturally RP on Twitter.

1001
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:21,880
Speaker 1: We're also on YouTube. If you want to see what

1002
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 1: the backyard kind of looks like. You don't really see

1003
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:25,880
Speaker 1: the backyard looks like. You just see where my smoking

1004
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: section looks like, and you can probably sneak a peek

1005
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 1: in the house. You're a weirdo. Also, we have a

1006
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:33,759
Speaker 1: phone line now, so call and leave a message. You

1007
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 1: can ask me about whatever you want to ask me

1008
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:39,360
Speaker 1: about hip hop, parenting, food boxing, mm A, relationships, comedy, sex,

1009
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:40,880
Speaker 1: so I don't give a ship. Ask me whatever you

1010
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:43,640
Speaker 1: want and I'll do my best to answer your question.

1011
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 1: If you want to leave a message, the phone number

1012
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 1: is four to four six six six. That's four to

1013
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: four six six six until next week. I'm Murderous of

1014
00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 1: the pets five