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Speaker 1: I accidentally became Jewish for ten years.

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Speaker 2: What an accident? You know, you just slipped and then

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Speaker 2: all sudden.

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Speaker 1: Cut off the tip of your penis and hey, you're Jewish.

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Speaker 2: Hey, how's about to?

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Speaker 1: Several years ago, after a bad breakup, I decided to

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Speaker 1: cheer myself up by getting back into the tabletop gaming

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Speaker 1: hobby that I had given up largely for the past

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Speaker 1: few years.

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Speaker 2: Just thrown the old paddle around. Am I right?

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Speaker 1: Paddle?

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Speaker 2: I thought it was being fong Oh.

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Speaker 1: I think when he says tabletop gaming, I think he

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Speaker 1: means like dungeons and dragons. I think I don't know,

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe it is. I was thinking. Is that. I

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Speaker 1: discovered meetup dot com and responded to a handful of

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Speaker 1: posts from people looking for new players for their games.

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Speaker 1: But the first few that I responded to weren't great.

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Speaker 1: One of them was really far away, and the other

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Speaker 1: one had like eight players. So I'm assuming it's probably like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: a dungeon drag. So I started going into these events

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Speaker 1: with the mindset that I very well will never see

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Speaker 1: these people ever again. Flash forward to a post by

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Speaker 1: guy I'll call Derek look for people to join his

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Speaker 1: Dungeons and dragons game Dragons. There turned out that he

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Speaker 1: only lived a few blocks for me and Derek and

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Speaker 1: the other guys who were there, let's call them Philip

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Speaker 1: Matthew all seemed easy to get along with. So far,

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Speaker 1: so good. Everything was going great until Matthew suggested we

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Speaker 1: order pizza. Philip looked up a place on his delivery app.

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Speaker 1: We collectively decided what we wanted to get, and then

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Speaker 1: Philip announced that the place had a special where you

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Speaker 1: could get bacon as an additional topping for no cost,

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Speaker 1: free bacon, Free bacon. Let's go, baby, and then I

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Speaker 1: equipped ah free bacon, the classic Jewish dilemma. Matthew's expression

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Speaker 1: immediately changed, and Derek said that I shouldn't make jokes

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Speaker 1: like that because Matthew was Jewish. Now, I didn't mean

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Speaker 1: to offend anyone with my stupid little joke, and certainly

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Speaker 1: don't have ill will towards Jewish people in general or

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Speaker 1: Matthew specifically, or do you or do you you anti Semite?

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Speaker 2: We're on to you.

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Speaker 1: And I was still thinking that it was very possible

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Speaker 1: that I'd never seen these people again, even if Derek

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Speaker 1: and I hit it off. What are the odds that Matthew,

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Speaker 1: or for that matter, Philip would be next, would be

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Speaker 1: back next week, so the smooth things over. I said,

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Speaker 1: It's actually okay that I made that joke, because I'm

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Speaker 1: Jewish genius. Now I am a blonde haired, green eyed

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Speaker 1: and generally look like Nazi propaganda more and definitely look

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Speaker 1: more like that than the average Jewish person. But Matthew

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Speaker 1: was visibly relieved and the tension dissipated, and I figured

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Speaker 1: that was that, except it wasn't.

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Speaker 2: It really is though.

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Speaker 1: Derek invited me back the next week, and when a

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Speaker 1: new player joined the group, Derek immediately told him that

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Speaker 1: I was Jewish. Derek, Philip, Matthew, and the new player

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Speaker 1: let's call him Jojo went on to become some of

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Speaker 1: my closest friends. Wow, and Matthew keeps inviting me to

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Speaker 1: temple and various Jewish events because somehow, despite living in

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Speaker 1: New York City, I'm one of his only Jewish friends.

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Speaker 1: Ten years later, our friends are still growing strong. Derek

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Speaker 1: continues to tell everyone that we meet that I'm Jewish,

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Speaker 1: and Matthew continues to invite me to cedars and temple

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Speaker 1: and so forth. And now I'm in so deep that

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Speaker 1: it resorted to researching Jewish culture and history so that

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Speaker 1: I could maintain the charad. LAHI am, my Reddit friends.

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Speaker 3: I am literally just like I can feel that the pain,

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Speaker 3: like the burst of the bubble is just building right now.

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Speaker 1: Feels like a Seinfeld episode, like George Costanzo.

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Speaker 2: Would literally do this. Yeah, so it would just.

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Speaker 1: Be like, all right, I just have to keep lying

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Speaker 1: forever now. Yeah, okay, so there is an update. Contrary

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Speaker 1: to a lot of people, like hundreds of you that

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Speaker 1: said I should just convert, I'm not entirely ruling it out,

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Speaker 1: but I was raised somewhere between half assed Protestant and

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Speaker 1: Heathen and don't really have a deeply held spiritual belief.

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Speaker 1: So ask for right now. I can so ask for

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Speaker 1: right now. If I converted, I would just be going

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Speaker 1: through the motions, which I feel will be dishonest and

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Speaker 1: disrespectful to the religion that people wouldhere to it.

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Speaker 2: Oh, it would be so dishonest, like so honest to

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Speaker 2: say that, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people had comments about the joke I made.

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Speaker 1: Some people thought it was funny, some thought it was offensive,

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Speaker 1: and some drew broader conclusions. It's not my place to

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Speaker 1: tell anyone how to feel. I have half of a

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Speaker 1: dozen close friends from college who are Jewish, and probably

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Speaker 1: at least third of my work friends who are Jewish,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of them enjoy sharing Jewish jokes. So

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Speaker 1: having spent my entire adult life in that context, I

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Speaker 1: feel I felt a level of comfort with the material

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Speaker 1: that I really shouldn't have in the group of people

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Speaker 1: that I didn't know very well. So the larger lesson

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Speaker 1: here is, other than tell the truth and don't tell

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Speaker 1: offensive jokes, is to remember that when you meet someone,

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Speaker 1: they don't know what's in your heart, and your job

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Speaker 1: is make sure they understand what you mean and not

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Speaker 1: the other way around.

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Speaker 2: We need an update.

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Speaker 1: We when you get convert.

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Speaker 2: We need either he needs to convert or.

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Speaker 3: Because once he tells them, that's gonna be bad ten years.

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Speaker 2: Also, also like.

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Speaker 3: I feel like he was if he hadn't, even if

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Speaker 3: he did use fake names, it's probably very distinguishable.

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Speaker 2: If if anyone in the group reads the story that and.

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Speaker 1: They're playing dungeons and Dragons, they're probably on Reddit.

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Speaker 3: Oh yes, yeah, oh wow, dude, okay, op, wherever you

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Speaker 3: are in the world, you need to do. You need

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Speaker 3: to convert or you need to tell them, and then

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Speaker 3: you need to write an update story so we can

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Speaker 3: read it.

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Speaker 1: And also like we're broadcasting this to like hundreds of thousands.

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Speaker 2: Everyone spread the message oh no,