1 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:08,515 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of I Heart 2 00:00:08,595 --> 00:00:24,155 Speaker 1: Radio and now we know who and watch. The Senate 3 00:00:24,355 --> 00:00:31,275 Speaker 1: Select Investigative Committee needs to investigate John Durham, William Barr, 4 00:00:32,355 --> 00:00:39,755 Speaker 1: Charles mcdonagall, and Kevin McCarthy. How Durham got appointed special 5 00:00:39,795 --> 00:00:42,795 Speaker 1: counsel by Bar to investigate a case that time has 6 00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:46,995 Speaker 1: confirmed never existed in the first place. If laws were 7 00:00:46,995 --> 00:00:50,275 Speaker 1: broken by Bar in making that appointment, if laws were 8 00:00:50,315 --> 00:00:53,595 Speaker 1: broken by Durham in trying to create a crime that 9 00:00:53,915 --> 00:00:58,235 Speaker 1: never occurred. What crimes were committed by Bar and Durham 10 00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:01,835 Speaker 1: to pervert the Department of Justice into a collective accessory 11 00:01:01,955 --> 00:01:05,315 Speaker 1: after the fact in the cover up of Trump's conspiracy 12 00:01:05,355 --> 00:01:09,515 Speaker 1: with Russia, and when mcgonaghal first began to work for 13 00:01:09,755 --> 00:01:15,195 Speaker 1: the Russian Oligox de Pasca in two thous or in 14 00:01:15,315 --> 00:01:18,835 Speaker 1: two thousand sixteen, when McGonagall was supposed to be leading 15 00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:23,795 Speaker 1: the first FBI investigation into Trump and Russia. I admitted 16 00:01:23,795 --> 00:01:26,995 Speaker 1: it yesterday and I will admit it again now that 17 00:01:27,075 --> 00:01:32,235 Speaker 1: my reasons for such a Senate investigation were purely cosmetic. 18 00:01:32,915 --> 00:01:35,755 Speaker 1: It is the democrats best play, and thus the nation's 19 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:39,155 Speaker 1: best play, to counter effect the cynical and corrupt forest 20 00:01:39,195 --> 00:01:41,675 Speaker 1: the Republicans intend to play out in the house where 21 00:01:41,675 --> 00:01:45,555 Speaker 1: that monkey Jim Jordan's will direct the new McCarthy ism 22 00:01:45,755 --> 00:01:49,435 Speaker 1: in defense of and at the direction of the seditionist Trump. 23 00:01:50,275 --> 00:01:53,955 Speaker 1: But in an impressive coincidence of timing, it turns out 24 00:01:54,915 --> 00:02:00,035 Speaker 1: there is a there here. The New York Times postmortem 25 00:02:00,115 --> 00:02:04,195 Speaker 1: on the Durham quote investigation unquote chronicles a series of 26 00:02:04,275 --> 00:02:09,075 Speaker 1: ethnic violations that would have gotten Tucker Carlson's producer fired. 27 00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:13,795 Speaker 1: The thrust of Durham's exercise in fabrication was to discredit 28 00:02:13,875 --> 00:02:20,595 Speaker 1: intelligence memos critical of Trump, so he used discredited intelligence 29 00:02:20,635 --> 00:02:27,795 Speaker 1: memos discredited Russian intelligence memos critical of George Soros. Durham 30 00:02:27,955 --> 00:02:30,835 Speaker 1: actually went to a federal judge to get access to 31 00:02:30,915 --> 00:02:34,875 Speaker 1: the emails of a vice president at a Sorrows funded 32 00:02:34,915 --> 00:02:40,395 Speaker 1: pro democracy organization and waived his obviously false Russian intelligence 33 00:02:40,395 --> 00:02:44,435 Speaker 1: memos at the judge she turned him down. He then 34 00:02:44,475 --> 00:02:47,235 Speaker 1: sent a deputy to see her personally to insist she 35 00:02:47,475 --> 00:02:51,075 Speaker 1: changed her ruling. She turned the deputy down. So now 36 00:02:51,155 --> 00:02:54,915 Speaker 1: Durham went around two court orders against him and got 37 00:02:54,995 --> 00:03:00,035 Speaker 1: instead a grand jury to demand the emails. He got them. 38 00:03:00,075 --> 00:03:05,195 Speaker 1: They showed nothing, no case or filing Durham ever brought 39 00:03:05,555 --> 00:03:09,235 Speaker 1: even referred to the rumor the emails supposedly proved, let 40 00:03:09,235 --> 00:03:13,355 Speaker 1: alone the emails themselves. That is not just hypocrisy by Durham. 41 00:03:13,395 --> 00:03:17,635 Speaker 1: It's enough to get him disbarred. And in two thousand nineteen, 42 00:03:17,635 --> 00:03:20,955 Speaker 1: when Durham and Bar actually did turn up possible evidence 43 00:03:20,995 --> 00:03:23,875 Speaker 1: of a crime, and bar gave Durham the power to 44 00:03:23,915 --> 00:03:28,635 Speaker 1: conduct a criminal investigation, somebody leaked that new power to 45 00:03:28,755 --> 00:03:32,515 Speaker 1: the media. The right wing echo chamber immediately concluded bar 46 00:03:33,115 --> 00:03:37,795 Speaker 1: was about to indict Hillary Clinton, or Obama or Biden 47 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:42,875 Speaker 1: or f DR or all of them. In fact, the 48 00:03:42,995 --> 00:03:49,435 Speaker 1: possible criminality was by Trump. Early in Bar even said 49 00:03:49,435 --> 00:03:55,395 Speaker 1: publicly on the record the potential criminality did not involve Clinton, Obama, Biden, 50 00:03:55,515 --> 00:03:58,955 Speaker 1: any of them. He never mentioned that it did involve Trump. 51 00:03:59,315 --> 00:04:02,155 Speaker 1: He never shut down the Durham farce. In fact, as 52 00:04:02,195 --> 00:04:06,515 Speaker 1: the election neared, bar Per the time sources quote pressed 53 00:04:06,635 --> 00:04:10,915 Speaker 1: Mr Durham to draft a potential interim report centered on 54 00:04:10,955 --> 00:04:16,715 Speaker 1: the Clinton campaign and FBI gullibility or wilful blindness. It 55 00:04:16,795 --> 00:04:21,715 Speaker 1: was so unethical such a replacement of responsible investigation and 56 00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:27,915 Speaker 1: prosecution by Trump's wet dreams of revenge and bars political leanings. 57 00:04:27,995 --> 00:04:34,355 Speaker 1: So what's the word weaponized? That one of Durham's longest 58 00:04:34,435 --> 00:04:39,555 Speaker 1: standing associates and colleagues resigned from his team in protest. 59 00:04:41,075 --> 00:04:44,755 Speaker 1: The Durham investigation is a spring of ethical corners cut, 60 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:50,275 Speaker 1: or to be less charitable, crimes of malicious and unjustified prosecution, 61 00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:53,835 Speaker 1: enough to last a summer's worth of hearings. And if 62 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:56,235 Speaker 1: the Republicans are going to stage a dog and pony 63 00:04:56,275 --> 00:04:59,755 Speaker 1: show in the House using stuffed toys, it is the 64 00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:03,875 Speaker 1: obligation of the Democrats to stage one in the Senate 65 00:05:04,115 --> 00:05:09,675 Speaker 1: starring real wild animals, posing real dangers to this nation. 66 00:05:11,635 --> 00:05:15,635 Speaker 1: And if that were not enough, there is still Charles mcdonagall. 67 00:05:16,515 --> 00:05:19,635 Speaker 1: We know the New York Field Office of the FBI 68 00:05:19,715 --> 00:05:22,075 Speaker 1: went rogue in the fall of two thousand sixteen. We 69 00:05:22,195 --> 00:05:25,075 Speaker 1: knew it in the fall of two thousand sixteen. Rudy 70 00:05:25,155 --> 00:05:28,955 Speaker 1: Giuliani seemingly spent the entire month of October on Fox 71 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:32,995 Speaker 1: News insisting Trump had quote a big surprise or two 72 00:05:33,035 --> 00:05:35,075 Speaker 1: that you're going to hear about in the next two days. 73 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:40,115 Speaker 1: I'm talking about some pretty big surprise. Giuliani had been 74 00:05:40,155 --> 00:05:42,755 Speaker 1: the U S attorney in New York working with the 75 00:05:42,955 --> 00:05:46,315 Speaker 1: FBI Field Office in two thousand sixteen. His law firm 76 00:05:46,395 --> 00:05:52,195 Speaker 1: represented a union, the FBI Agents Association, And that quote 77 00:05:52,875 --> 00:05:58,515 Speaker 1: was on October. The comy letter about Anthony Weiner's laptop 78 00:05:58,635 --> 00:06:04,155 Speaker 1: was on October, two days later, exactly as Giuliani said 79 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:08,275 Speaker 1: it would play out. Giuliani's next big statement on Fox. 80 00:06:08,515 --> 00:06:10,555 Speaker 1: I sure have a lot of friends who are retired 81 00:06:10,595 --> 00:06:14,275 Speaker 1: FBI agents, close personal friends. All I heard were former 82 00:06:14,315 --> 00:06:17,395 Speaker 1: FBI agents telling me that there's a revolution going on 83 00:06:17,475 --> 00:06:20,435 Speaker 1: inside the FBI and it's now at a boiling point. 84 00:06:20,795 --> 00:06:27,715 Speaker 1: That Giuliani statement was on November four, So who told Giuliani? 85 00:06:29,075 --> 00:06:34,795 Speaker 1: Who was Rudy Giuliani source or sources? An independent news 86 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:38,355 Speaker 1: site with the unsettled name spy Talk has a long, 87 00:06:39,195 --> 00:06:42,635 Speaker 1: galling analysis of the career of Charles McGonagall, told from 88 00:06:42,635 --> 00:06:45,155 Speaker 1: the viewpoint of an anonymous former colleague who paints the 89 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:49,795 Speaker 1: picture of McGonagall as brilliant, but jealous, gossipy, and malicious. 90 00:06:50,435 --> 00:06:53,955 Speaker 1: Could he have fed Giuliani directly or indirectly quote I 91 00:06:53,995 --> 00:06:57,355 Speaker 1: would not doubt that Charlie played a role in the leaks. 92 00:06:58,435 --> 00:07:01,755 Speaker 1: Spy Talk quotes the man directly wouldn't surprise me. It 93 00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:05,795 Speaker 1: just wouldn't surprise me. And then there is the Yale 94 00:07:05,795 --> 00:07:11,195 Speaker 1: history professor Tim Snyder. He stitched together Russia's known interference 95 00:07:11,195 --> 00:07:14,555 Speaker 1: on Trump's behalf in two thousand sixteen with the careers 96 00:07:14,595 --> 00:07:19,115 Speaker 1: of Charles mcgonagal of Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, of 97 00:07:19,155 --> 00:07:23,275 Speaker 1: Oleg Derrick Posca. The man Manafort owed millions too and 98 00:07:23,435 --> 00:07:26,915 Speaker 1: gave briefings too on the Trump campaign. The man McGonagall 99 00:07:26,995 --> 00:07:30,195 Speaker 1: is now accused of going over to and working for 100 00:07:31,835 --> 00:07:37,275 Speaker 1: it is entirely inconceivable. Snyder wrote that McGonagall was unaware 101 00:07:37,315 --> 00:07:41,475 Speaker 1: of Russia's two thousand sixteen cyber influence campaign on behalf 102 00:07:41,475 --> 00:07:45,395 Speaker 1: of Trump, even I was aware of it. Slander continues. 103 00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:49,755 Speaker 1: The FBI did investigate cyber later, but this was after 104 00:07:49,835 --> 00:07:54,355 Speaker 1: the election and missed the Russian influence operations entirely. That 105 00:07:54,555 --> 00:07:58,275 Speaker 1: was an obvious counterintelligence issue. Why did the FBI take 106 00:07:58,355 --> 00:08:01,915 Speaker 1: so long and miss the point? I will just repeat 107 00:08:01,955 --> 00:08:05,115 Speaker 1: what informed people said at the time. This sort of 108 00:08:05,115 --> 00:08:09,195 Speaker 1: thing was supposed to go through the FBI counter Intelligence 109 00:08:09,235 --> 00:08:13,715 Speaker 1: section in New York where tips went to die, that 110 00:08:13,955 --> 00:08:18,515 Speaker 1: is where McGonagall was in charge. It would have been 111 00:08:18,595 --> 00:08:22,395 Speaker 1: the responsibility of an FBI section whose head is now 112 00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:30,875 Speaker 1: accused of taking Russian money unquote. This implication is clear, 113 00:08:30,915 --> 00:08:33,915 Speaker 1: and it too is worthy of a Senate hearing. Charles 114 00:08:33,995 --> 00:08:37,955 Speaker 1: mcdonagall's connection to Russia to Derrick Posca made date back 115 00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:45,315 Speaker 1: not to one but to were earlier two years ago. 116 00:08:45,355 --> 00:08:47,555 Speaker 1: He was getting twenty five thous dollars a month from 117 00:08:47,555 --> 00:08:51,275 Speaker 1: Oleg Derrick Posca for help getting sanctions removed from Derrick 118 00:08:51,315 --> 00:08:55,595 Speaker 1: Posca's companies? Was he paid before that? Was he in 119 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:59,155 Speaker 1: fact not just an unregistered illicit foreign lobbyist or agent, 120 00:08:59,355 --> 00:09:02,315 Speaker 1: but either actively connected to the Kremlin spine network or 121 00:09:02,435 --> 00:09:05,515 Speaker 1: just there to make sure nobody in this country investigated 122 00:09:05,515 --> 00:09:10,955 Speaker 1: the Russians, especially when it came to Trump. And as 123 00:09:11,155 --> 00:09:15,235 Speaker 1: if the Democrats needed one more reason to actually launch 124 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:19,315 Speaker 1: their own investigation of the federal government weaponized not against 125 00:09:19,315 --> 00:09:24,555 Speaker 1: Trump but for it our Durham and bar and McGonagall 126 00:09:24,595 --> 00:09:29,515 Speaker 1: and Derrick Posca merely two parts of the same story. 127 00:09:30,715 --> 00:09:34,315 Speaker 1: Do they constitute photos of the same operation to serve 128 00:09:34,355 --> 00:09:37,755 Speaker 1: the interests of Trump and Russia in this country? But 129 00:09:37,835 --> 00:09:41,715 Speaker 1: two photos taken in different years. And then there is 130 00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:45,795 Speaker 1: the darkest theoretical yet is the third photo of this long, 131 00:09:46,035 --> 00:09:49,075 Speaker 1: long campaign to protect not just Trump but also the 132 00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:54,155 Speaker 1: Russian intelligence services? Is this a picture of Kevin McCarthy 133 00:09:54,235 --> 00:09:58,115 Speaker 1: and Jim Jordan and the least Stefanik assembling the House 134 00:09:58,115 --> 00:10:02,195 Speaker 1: Select Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government? Is 135 00:10:02,355 --> 00:10:06,915 Speaker 1: the new McCarthy ism, in fact, just the old Durham 136 00:10:07,075 --> 00:10:14,115 Speaker 1: investigation and the even older compromised FBI New York Rogue 137 00:10:14,235 --> 00:10:19,755 Speaker 1: Field office of Charles McGonagall. Let's ask a few questions 138 00:10:20,555 --> 00:10:25,155 Speaker 1: under oath in front of the Senate, in front of 139 00:10:25,235 --> 00:10:45,315 Speaker 1: the cameras all summer. Let's remember to subpoena Kevin McCarthy. 140 00:10:47,035 --> 00:10:50,995 Speaker 1: Still ahead screenshots of George Santos on Facebook making offensive 141 00:10:51,075 --> 00:10:55,155 Speaker 1: jokes referring to Hitler. He may even have to revise 142 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:59,995 Speaker 1: his most famous line, he may not be jewishh You 143 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,155 Speaker 1: know how to revenge yourself against the government when it's 144 00:11:02,155 --> 00:11:04,515 Speaker 1: threatening to take away your liquor license for your hockey 145 00:11:04,515 --> 00:11:07,635 Speaker 1: game games. Stop selling liquor at your hockey games. That'll 146 00:11:07,635 --> 00:11:11,315 Speaker 1: show him, that'll stick it to the man. We'll go 147 00:11:11,355 --> 00:11:15,675 Speaker 1: inside the slightly functioning brain of James Dolan. So don't 148 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,555 Speaker 1: wear your good shoes. Worst persons coming up, and it's 149 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:24,595 Speaker 1: Friday with Thurber and the great short story that merges murder, misdirection, 150 00:11:25,155 --> 00:11:32,195 Speaker 1: the Dodgers and Red Barber. The catbird Seat. That's next. 151 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:42,875 Speaker 1: This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith old Woman 152 00:11:46,635 --> 00:11:49,995 Speaker 1: still ahead on countdown. George Santos is two to two 153 00:11:50,075 --> 00:11:53,395 Speaker 1: liars in one. He lied that he's the descendant of 154 00:11:53,435 --> 00:11:58,315 Speaker 1: Holocaust survivors, and he also somehow used to post Hitler 155 00:11:58,435 --> 00:12:03,355 Speaker 1: jokes on Facebook. On a happier notes, Thurber's The catbirds 156 00:12:03,395 --> 00:12:06,475 Speaker 1: Seat is great short story coming up first. In each 157 00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,595 Speaker 1: tradition of Countdown, we feature a dog in need you 158 00:12:08,635 --> 00:12:12,355 Speaker 1: can help. Every dog has its day to Fort Lauderdale 159 00:12:12,515 --> 00:12:15,915 Speaker 1: and Cookie, and I swear this is a coincidence. I 160 00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:20,395 Speaker 1: heart Animal Rescue. Cookie was a gorgeous chocolate colored dog, 161 00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:23,475 Speaker 1: maybe even a chocolate lab, who gave birth to a 162 00:12:23,515 --> 00:12:26,635 Speaker 1: litter and was trying to protect it when she was attacked, 163 00:12:26,795 --> 00:12:30,395 Speaker 1: shot and with a machette, possibly by what she thought 164 00:12:30,475 --> 00:12:34,315 Speaker 1: was her human. She survived, the two pups survived. People 165 00:12:34,355 --> 00:12:37,275 Speaker 1: Founder got her into surgery. She's made it. It was 166 00:12:37,355 --> 00:12:40,715 Speaker 1: expensive and surely on behalf of this mess we call mankind. 167 00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:44,675 Speaker 1: She deserves it. I heart Animal Rescue needs your help 168 00:12:44,755 --> 00:12:47,115 Speaker 1: to pay off the bills. They're doing a fundraiser which 169 00:12:47,155 --> 00:12:50,595 Speaker 1: you can find on Cuddly or linked to from my tweets. 170 00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:54,915 Speaker 1: Donations and retweets are gratefully accepted. I thank you, and 171 00:12:54,995 --> 00:13:17,915 Speaker 1: Cookie and her pups thank you. Now the daily roundup 172 00:13:17,915 --> 00:13:21,075 Speaker 1: of the misgrants, morons and dunning Krueger effects specimens who 173 00:13:21,115 --> 00:13:27,275 Speaker 1: constitute today's worst persons in the world the Bronze. There 174 00:13:27,275 --> 00:13:30,635 Speaker 1: are a lot of stupid sports owners, especially here in 175 00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:36,475 Speaker 1: Fun City, but James Dolan is a first ballot unanimous 176 00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:40,115 Speaker 1: Hall of Famer. He is the inherited money dork who 177 00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,955 Speaker 1: owns the New York Knicks, New York Rangers, Madison Square Garden, 178 00:13:43,315 --> 00:13:47,395 Speaker 1: Radio City Music Hall, and who has recently been caught 179 00:13:47,475 --> 00:13:52,555 Speaker 1: using facial recognition technology to prevent fans who work with 180 00:13:52,755 --> 00:13:55,835 Speaker 1: or four companies that are suing him, or fans he 181 00:13:55,875 --> 00:13:58,995 Speaker 1: doesn't like from just going to see the Rockets or 182 00:13:58,995 --> 00:14:01,715 Speaker 1: the Knicks or the Rangers. And by the way of 183 00:14:01,755 --> 00:14:03,795 Speaker 1: those three, the Rockets are the likeliest to win the 184 00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:07,915 Speaker 1: NBA title or Hockey Stanley Cup. Anyway, the facial recognition 185 00:14:07,995 --> 00:14:13,155 Speaker 1: technology saga has gone down so poorly here that politicians 186 00:14:13,155 --> 00:14:16,195 Speaker 1: are talking about it being illegal and about taking away 187 00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:20,035 Speaker 1: Dolan's license to sell liquor at the Garden as punishment 188 00:14:20,355 --> 00:14:24,435 Speaker 1: or ending the garden's annual forty three million dollar mystery 189 00:14:24,555 --> 00:14:29,875 Speaker 1: tax abatement. Now Dolan has come up with his retaliation. 190 00:14:30,475 --> 00:14:33,915 Speaker 1: Listen to this for a genius threat. They're being extremely 191 00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:35,835 Speaker 1: aggressive and they're saying we're going to take away your 192 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,595 Speaker 1: liquor license, he said on the Fox news station in 193 00:14:38,595 --> 00:14:42,675 Speaker 1: New York. They're basically doing this for publicity. So we're 194 00:14:42,675 --> 00:14:44,995 Speaker 1: gonna give him some publicity. We're gonna pick a night, 195 00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:48,555 Speaker 1: maybe a Rangers game, and we're going to shut down 196 00:14:49,115 --> 00:14:53,275 Speaker 1: all the liquor and alcohol in the building. And he 197 00:14:53,275 --> 00:14:55,875 Speaker 1: held up a piece of paper towards the camera and 198 00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:58,435 Speaker 1: has a photo of the chairman of the State Liquor 199 00:14:58,475 --> 00:15:01,555 Speaker 1: Authority with his phone number and email on it, and 200 00:15:01,595 --> 00:15:05,875 Speaker 1: Dolan asked fans to contact the man to abuse him, 201 00:15:05,915 --> 00:15:10,355 Speaker 1: because naturally, if you own the team and you cut 202 00:15:10,355 --> 00:15:13,555 Speaker 1: off the beer sales at the hockey rink that you own, 203 00:15:14,195 --> 00:15:20,955 Speaker 1: the fans are gonna blame the government, not you. Never you, 204 00:15:20,955 --> 00:15:25,395 Speaker 1: You're James Dolan. You're a god to these people. Idiot. 205 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:28,475 Speaker 1: Dolan added, This isn't gonna bother me because I've been 206 00:15:28,515 --> 00:15:31,435 Speaker 1: sober twenty nine years. I don't need the liquor. Good 207 00:15:31,435 --> 00:15:34,475 Speaker 1: for you on that, sincerely. You do know, however, Dolan, 208 00:15:34,675 --> 00:15:37,435 Speaker 1: that just because you stopped drinking, the brain damage doesn't 209 00:15:37,475 --> 00:15:41,795 Speaker 1: just go away, right. The runners up the bevy of 210 00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:45,275 Speaker 1: fascist congressmen who've gone on all of their propaganda outlets. 211 00:15:45,715 --> 00:15:48,835 Speaker 1: For instance, Congress and Waltz of Florida, Congress from Jefferson 212 00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:52,755 Speaker 1: Van Drew of New Jersey, and have threatened to hold 213 00:15:52,795 --> 00:15:58,235 Speaker 1: congressional hearings because Direct TV has dropped the Newsmax channel 214 00:15:58,955 --> 00:16:01,835 Speaker 1: for some reason. Men like Van Drew and Walts keep 215 00:16:01,915 --> 00:16:05,675 Speaker 1: leaving out one little detail here. News Max has always 216 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:10,435 Speaker 1: given its seven brainwashing feed for free two carriers like 217 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:14,075 Speaker 1: Roku and Direct TV, but suddenly it has demanded Direct 218 00:16:14,155 --> 00:16:23,355 Speaker 1: TV pay Newsmax for Newsmax. Direct TV said, thanks, So, 219 00:16:23,435 --> 00:16:28,275 Speaker 1: Waltz and man Drew want congressional hearings about one company 220 00:16:28,435 --> 00:16:33,075 Speaker 1: deciding not to buy another company's product in America, which 221 00:16:33,115 --> 00:16:38,235 Speaker 1: is I believe called communistic, socialist, anti capitalism terror. Little 222 00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:43,075 Speaker 1: but our winner, George Santos, that is your real name, 223 00:16:43,715 --> 00:16:46,635 Speaker 1: Jacqueline Sweet at the Long Island Patch hyper local news 224 00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:51,195 Speaker 1: site with another in the seemingly bottomless pit of jaw 225 00:16:51,275 --> 00:16:56,035 Speaker 1: droppers about the Congressman who never was his sweet reports, 226 00:16:56,395 --> 00:17:00,275 Speaker 1: one that is sadly not funny, intentionally or otherwise. Remembering 227 00:17:00,275 --> 00:17:03,955 Speaker 1: the Santos false claim number one seventeen, I think it 228 00:17:03,995 --> 00:17:07,115 Speaker 1: was that he was the descendant of Holocaust survivors and 229 00:17:07,315 --> 00:17:14,155 Speaker 1: his excuse, let me check the list thirty nine B. 230 00:17:14,555 --> 00:17:17,475 Speaker 1: Excuse number thirty nine B that he never said he 231 00:17:17,555 --> 00:17:21,955 Speaker 1: was Jewish. He said he was jew Ish. What's the 232 00:17:21,995 --> 00:17:26,075 Speaker 1: Patch headline on the news story George Santos posted quote 233 00:17:26,115 --> 00:17:31,715 Speaker 1: deeply offensive comment about Hitler Comma Jews. Screenshots from over 234 00:17:31,795 --> 00:17:35,035 Speaker 1: a decade reviewed by Patch show representative George Santos has 235 00:17:35,075 --> 00:17:38,075 Speaker 1: what the a d L called a deeply offensive social 236 00:17:38,115 --> 00:17:42,075 Speaker 1: media history. Patch got a screenshot of santos Facebook post 237 00:17:42,155 --> 00:17:44,675 Speaker 1: from two thousand eleven. This is a comment about a 238 00:17:44,675 --> 00:17:47,755 Speaker 1: photo posted by a friend showing a military salute. He 239 00:17:47,795 --> 00:17:53,955 Speaker 1: added to it quote high Hitler height Hitler lal lal 240 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:58,355 Speaker 1: la la law, somebody kill her. The Jews and black 241 00:17:58,475 --> 00:18:05,955 Speaker 1: mostly lal lal lal lal dumb spelled d u M. George. 242 00:18:06,155 --> 00:18:09,195 Speaker 1: We regret to inform you that Milkshake Duck is also 243 00:18:09,235 --> 00:18:23,395 Speaker 1: a Nazi. Today's Worst Person. And now this is my birthday. 244 00:18:24,555 --> 00:18:28,235 Speaker 1: I'm ruling eight years old. Now I'm I'm sixty four. 245 00:18:28,995 --> 00:18:33,875 Speaker 1: I'm the Beatles song today is when I'm sixty four, 246 00:18:34,835 --> 00:18:37,755 Speaker 1: the song I first heard when I was eight years old. 247 00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:43,475 Speaker 1: It's harrowing. So I'm taking a half day. The rest 248 00:18:43,515 --> 00:18:45,435 Speaker 1: of the podcast, I'm going to give you what in 249 00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:49,315 Speaker 1: TV they would call encore presentations of Friday with Thurber 250 00:18:49,475 --> 00:18:51,555 Speaker 1: The Catbirds See, which is a really great story, and 251 00:18:51,555 --> 00:18:55,195 Speaker 1: I must say I read it really well. And speaking 252 00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:57,235 Speaker 1: of for a thing I promised not to tell as 253 00:18:57,235 --> 00:18:59,435 Speaker 1: I mentioned birthday and yesterday, I gotta laugh, as I 254 00:18:59,435 --> 00:19:02,635 Speaker 1: always do on January twenty six, when it's Wayne Gretzky's birthday, 255 00:19:02,715 --> 00:19:06,235 Speaker 1: because my contention is it's his birthday in order to 256 00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:10,075 Speaker 1: remind people that today is my birthday. Anyway, gret Sky 257 00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:13,515 Speaker 1: and I first interacted in when I got the greatest 258 00:19:13,635 --> 00:19:20,675 Speaker 1: scoop of my sports or news career by basically doing nothing. Well. 259 00:19:20,715 --> 00:19:23,675 Speaker 1: I did answer the phone a couple of times and 260 00:19:23,755 --> 00:19:28,595 Speaker 1: I put on makeup. The date is August eight, eight, 261 00:19:28,955 --> 00:19:40,995 Speaker 1: eight eight. You are there just after dinner, the phone 262 00:19:41,075 --> 00:19:43,915 Speaker 1: rang in my office at Channel five in l A. Hi, 263 00:19:44,035 --> 00:19:47,075 Speaker 1: I'm a viewer. I took a deep breath. You you 264 00:19:47,195 --> 00:19:49,915 Speaker 1: never knew where a call that started like that was 265 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:52,835 Speaker 1: going to end up. I just wanted to Janoah. I 266 00:19:52,875 --> 00:19:56,275 Speaker 1: was out golfing at Riviera at the Riviera Clubs afternoon 267 00:19:56,315 --> 00:19:59,315 Speaker 1: and Bruce McNall, the owner of the Kings, well, he 268 00:19:59,395 --> 00:20:01,675 Speaker 1: just walked through the locker room saying, hey, guys, if 269 00:20:01,715 --> 00:20:04,915 Speaker 1: you want to buy your seasoned King's tickets, do it now. 270 00:20:04,955 --> 00:20:07,075 Speaker 1: I just traded for Wayne Gretzky. The price is going 271 00:20:07,155 --> 00:20:11,915 Speaker 1: to go up next week. To be polite to the viewer, 272 00:20:12,475 --> 00:20:14,835 Speaker 1: I asked a few questions, but frankly, the story was 273 00:20:14,955 --> 00:20:18,515 Speaker 1: pretty stupid. This was the second week of August and 274 00:20:18,555 --> 00:20:20,595 Speaker 1: there was a lot of talk that the Edmonton Oilers 275 00:20:20,875 --> 00:20:23,915 Speaker 1: We're going to trade Wayne Gretzky, the most famous player 276 00:20:23,955 --> 00:20:26,435 Speaker 1: in hockey, and there was nearly as much talk that 277 00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:28,395 Speaker 1: that trade would send him to us in l A. 278 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:34,155 Speaker 1: But the owner of the King's just telling passers by 279 00:20:34,195 --> 00:20:37,755 Speaker 1: at random in a golf clubhouse that he had just 280 00:20:37,915 --> 00:20:43,835 Speaker 1: made the trade. I was suspicious that I was being pranked. 281 00:20:44,995 --> 00:20:47,955 Speaker 1: Fifteen minutes later, my phone rang again. Hi, I'm a 282 00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,355 Speaker 1: big fan of yours and I watch every night. Here 283 00:20:50,395 --> 00:20:52,675 Speaker 1: we go again. I was just having lunch with a 284 00:20:52,715 --> 00:20:54,435 Speaker 1: friend of mine out here at the golf course in 285 00:20:54,515 --> 00:20:57,835 Speaker 1: bell Air. And and like an hour later, freaking Bruce 286 00:20:57,915 --> 00:21:00,315 Speaker 1: McNall shows up in the dining room and asks for 287 00:21:00,355 --> 00:21:03,355 Speaker 1: everybody's attention, and he says he's just completed the deal 288 00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:07,435 Speaker 1: for Wayne Gretzky. And and now I was beginning to 289 00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,155 Speaker 1: get actually worried. I was a lame duck as the 290 00:21:10,195 --> 00:21:12,795 Speaker 1: sports director of Channel five in Los Angeles, and four 291 00:21:12,835 --> 00:21:15,315 Speaker 1: months there had been rumors that I was moving down 292 00:21:15,355 --> 00:21:18,115 Speaker 1: the street to Channel two in Los Angeles. There had 293 00:21:18,155 --> 00:21:21,635 Speaker 1: been these rumors mostly because I was moving down the 294 00:21:21,635 --> 00:21:24,955 Speaker 1: street to Channel two. The deal had been done months earlier. 295 00:21:25,155 --> 00:21:27,715 Speaker 1: We were going to announce it that week. In fact, 296 00:21:27,835 --> 00:21:30,595 Speaker 1: as these two guys called in, I had actually been 297 00:21:30,675 --> 00:21:34,835 Speaker 1: busily packing up my Channel five office. My thought now 298 00:21:35,515 --> 00:21:39,075 Speaker 1: was that the sportscaster at the local NBC station, who 299 00:21:39,075 --> 00:21:43,075 Speaker 1: had a bit of a substance problem and a nasty 300 00:21:43,115 --> 00:21:45,155 Speaker 1: temper and a real dislike for the fact that I 301 00:21:45,195 --> 00:21:48,315 Speaker 1: was nearly as popular as he was, was setting me up. 302 00:21:48,835 --> 00:21:51,435 Speaker 1: I had once managed to mislead him into thinking we 303 00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,515 Speaker 1: were about to break a story about a big l 304 00:21:53,555 --> 00:21:56,715 Speaker 1: a football trade. There was no breaking story because there 305 00:21:56,755 --> 00:21:59,355 Speaker 1: was no trade, and he had actually mentioned it on 306 00:21:59,475 --> 00:22:03,435 Speaker 1: the air, having clearly stolen it from me because I 307 00:22:03,475 --> 00:22:05,315 Speaker 1: was the one who had made it up. And oh 308 00:22:05,515 --> 00:22:08,355 Speaker 1: was he furious at me? For all I knew he 309 00:22:08,395 --> 00:22:11,115 Speaker 1: wanted to embarrass me. Three weeks before I moved into 310 00:22:11,195 --> 00:22:15,075 Speaker 1: direct competition with him at five, six and eleven. This 311 00:22:15,275 --> 00:22:18,875 Speaker 1: August eight was, in fact my first day back after 312 00:22:18,915 --> 00:22:21,515 Speaker 1: I had burned all my Channel five vacation time. And 313 00:22:21,595 --> 00:22:24,635 Speaker 1: for all I knew, this guy at NBC had been 314 00:22:24,635 --> 00:22:26,875 Speaker 1: having his staffers call me for a week with made 315 00:22:26,955 --> 00:22:30,155 Speaker 1: up sightings of mcnal confirming a Gretzky trade that frankly 316 00:22:30,235 --> 00:22:33,235 Speaker 1: I never believe was going to happen. I mean not 317 00:22:33,315 --> 00:22:35,835 Speaker 1: to get two side tracked here, But one day my 318 00:22:35,875 --> 00:22:37,915 Speaker 1: phone rang and it was a kid who said, Hi, 319 00:22:38,075 --> 00:22:40,715 Speaker 1: Mr Olberman, I'm sorry, but I'm a finalist to be 320 00:22:40,755 --> 00:22:44,195 Speaker 1: an intern here at Channel four for Fred Rogan, and 321 00:22:44,315 --> 00:22:46,995 Speaker 1: Mr Rogan says, I can have the spot, but only 322 00:22:47,035 --> 00:22:50,755 Speaker 1: if I call you up right now and say I'm sorry. 323 00:22:50,795 --> 00:22:52,315 Speaker 1: If I call you up and I tell you to 324 00:22:52,395 --> 00:22:56,155 Speaker 1: go f yourself. The kid did not say f. To 325 00:22:56,355 --> 00:23:00,755 Speaker 1: his credit, he used his real name, Bill Weir. He 326 00:23:00,875 --> 00:23:03,915 Speaker 1: later became a sportscaster for the third network station in 327 00:23:04,075 --> 00:23:06,835 Speaker 1: l A, then a correspondent for ABC and now CNN, 328 00:23:07,075 --> 00:23:09,875 Speaker 1: and I have not let a year go by since 329 00:23:10,115 --> 00:23:14,235 Speaker 1: without reminding him of his f yourself internship phone call. 330 00:23:15,835 --> 00:23:18,235 Speaker 1: He said, Life paid him back by making him work 331 00:23:18,315 --> 00:23:21,115 Speaker 1: with the guy for several months. Anyway, back to Gretzky 332 00:23:21,235 --> 00:23:25,195 Speaker 1: night to supposed listeners have called to say that Bruce mcnal, 333 00:23:25,235 --> 00:23:28,475 Speaker 1: the owner of the l A Kings, is apparently trapesing 334 00:23:28,595 --> 00:23:31,635 Speaker 1: through golf locker rooms and dining rooms at country clubs 335 00:23:31,675 --> 00:23:33,715 Speaker 1: to tell them he has completed a trade for the 336 00:23:33,755 --> 00:23:37,075 Speaker 1: babe ruth of hockey, Wayne Gretzky. And they're calling me 337 00:23:37,355 --> 00:23:42,035 Speaker 1: because they like me. I'm suspicious, And now the phone 338 00:23:42,115 --> 00:23:45,755 Speaker 1: rings again. This guy was playing golf at the l 339 00:23:45,795 --> 00:23:49,515 Speaker 1: A Country Club. Same story, mcnal, by your King's tickets. No, 340 00:23:49,675 --> 00:23:53,115 Speaker 1: I just got Gretzky. The next caller had been at 341 00:23:53,155 --> 00:23:55,755 Speaker 1: yet a fourth club. I think will share or something. 342 00:23:56,235 --> 00:23:58,075 Speaker 1: If this was a prank, it was a big one, 343 00:23:58,155 --> 00:24:03,075 Speaker 1: and bluntly I had begun to admire. It finally came 344 00:24:03,115 --> 00:24:06,275 Speaker 1: a fifth call. You don't know me, but I watch 345 00:24:06,275 --> 00:24:08,435 Speaker 1: you every night. I stumbled onto a story. I think 346 00:24:08,475 --> 00:24:11,475 Speaker 1: you want to run tonight. I said, which golf course 347 00:24:11,515 --> 00:24:14,635 Speaker 1: were you at? And he said, excuse me. I was 348 00:24:14,675 --> 00:24:17,035 Speaker 1: in my office all day and so so was my 349 00:24:17,195 --> 00:24:19,755 Speaker 1: uh my missus. She's on the phone with me. She 350 00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:23,075 Speaker 1: she works for Bruce mcnal, the King's this time. I 351 00:24:23,115 --> 00:24:25,835 Speaker 1: grabbed a pencil, Honey, why don't you take it from here? 352 00:24:26,115 --> 00:24:28,795 Speaker 1: And she did. She worked in the finance office and 353 00:24:28,875 --> 00:24:31,915 Speaker 1: she had, literally, she said, just made out a check 354 00:24:31,955 --> 00:24:34,755 Speaker 1: for fifteen million dollars to the owner of the Edmonton Oilers, 355 00:24:34,755 --> 00:24:38,435 Speaker 1: Peter Pocklington, she said, and the note memo were you're 356 00:24:38,475 --> 00:24:40,915 Speaker 1: white right? What it's for? I was told to put 357 00:24:40,955 --> 00:24:46,435 Speaker 1: in Wayne Gretzky. She also had seen the trade contract 358 00:24:46,995 --> 00:24:49,275 Speaker 1: identified the players that Kings were going to give up 359 00:24:49,315 --> 00:24:51,675 Speaker 1: with the fifteen million to get Kretzky. They were Jimmy 360 00:24:51,715 --> 00:24:55,435 Speaker 1: Carson and Martin Jellina. There were also draft choices, but 361 00:24:55,515 --> 00:24:58,555 Speaker 1: she didn't know or didn't remember the specifics of which ones. 362 00:24:59,435 --> 00:25:02,355 Speaker 1: Now breathless, I asked her if I could call her 363 00:25:02,395 --> 00:25:04,915 Speaker 1: back through the switchboard of the l a for Orm 364 00:25:04,915 --> 00:25:08,235 Speaker 1: where the King's and McNall's offices were, just to confirm 365 00:25:08,355 --> 00:25:11,795 Speaker 1: she was who she said she was. She said, I could, 366 00:25:11,835 --> 00:25:15,275 Speaker 1: I did, she was. I believe. In fact, she turned 367 00:25:15,315 --> 00:25:17,355 Speaker 1: out to be the only person on the McNall financial 368 00:25:17,395 --> 00:25:20,755 Speaker 1: team that did not get charged with something. So now 369 00:25:20,795 --> 00:25:22,675 Speaker 1: I went in to talk to my news director and 370 00:25:22,755 --> 00:25:24,995 Speaker 1: to the producer of our newscast. We were not on 371 00:25:25,115 --> 00:25:28,075 Speaker 1: until ten PM. It was now about seven. They were 372 00:25:28,195 --> 00:25:31,075 Speaker 1: very excited, and they said that given that I had 373 00:25:31,115 --> 00:25:34,715 Speaker 1: exact details from a King's source, plus the four witnesses 374 00:25:34,715 --> 00:25:37,155 Speaker 1: to the owner of the team shooting off his big 375 00:25:37,235 --> 00:25:40,475 Speaker 1: bazoo at every golf course he could reach, that we 376 00:25:40,515 --> 00:25:42,795 Speaker 1: should run it, and that we should run it as 377 00:25:42,835 --> 00:25:44,995 Speaker 1: the lead news story right at the start of the 378 00:25:45,035 --> 00:25:49,795 Speaker 1: newscast that night, which we did. The King's would not 379 00:25:49,995 --> 00:25:52,875 Speaker 1: confirm it, obviously, but as soon as I got off 380 00:25:52,915 --> 00:25:55,115 Speaker 1: the air with my sports cast the second time I 381 00:25:55,155 --> 00:25:58,075 Speaker 1: reported this story, a reporter from the Associated Press was 382 00:25:58,115 --> 00:26:00,555 Speaker 1: on the phone asking me to read him my script, 383 00:26:00,955 --> 00:26:04,995 Speaker 1: which he then quoted word for word and it out 384 00:26:05,075 --> 00:26:08,035 Speaker 1: on their sports wire. It was on the back page 385 00:26:08,075 --> 00:26:11,075 Speaker 1: of the New York Post the next day. My friends 386 00:26:11,115 --> 00:26:13,955 Speaker 1: called me from New York to say, Hey, your sportscast 387 00:26:14,035 --> 00:26:15,715 Speaker 1: is on the back page of the New York Post 388 00:26:15,715 --> 00:26:19,475 Speaker 1: along with this big picture of Wayne Gretzky. The leak 389 00:26:19,795 --> 00:26:22,075 Speaker 1: caused the Kings to move up the announcement of the 390 00:26:22,115 --> 00:26:25,195 Speaker 1: deal from their original plan, which was Thursday the eleventh, 391 00:26:25,635 --> 00:26:29,035 Speaker 1: to the next night, Tuesday. The nights A King's vice 392 00:26:29,035 --> 00:26:32,075 Speaker 1: president told me at the press conference that the Oilers 393 00:26:32,115 --> 00:26:35,115 Speaker 1: were enraged because they had wanted to hold off until 394 00:26:35,195 --> 00:26:38,675 Speaker 1: the eleventh because the deadline for their season ticket holders 395 00:26:38,715 --> 00:26:43,475 Speaker 1: to get their deposits back were Wednesday. The Kings were 396 00:26:43,555 --> 00:26:45,395 Speaker 1: nice enough to let me of all the TV guys 397 00:26:45,435 --> 00:26:48,915 Speaker 1: interviewed Gretzky First Live, and I congratulated Wayne on the move, 398 00:26:49,235 --> 00:26:51,355 Speaker 1: and he actually congratulated me on the scoop and I 399 00:26:51,355 --> 00:26:53,875 Speaker 1: said I didn't do anything but answer the phone, and 400 00:26:53,915 --> 00:26:56,115 Speaker 1: he thought about it for a second and said pretty 401 00:26:56,195 --> 00:26:59,195 Speaker 1: much the same for me, and we've been friendly ever since. 402 00:26:59,995 --> 00:27:03,155 Speaker 1: But the laziest scoop of all time did eventually come 403 00:27:03,195 --> 00:27:06,595 Speaker 1: back with a sting from me and some payback. A 404 00:27:06,715 --> 00:27:10,355 Speaker 1: year later, we all submitted our best stories for consideration 405 00:27:10,595 --> 00:27:13,675 Speaker 1: for the local Emmy for Best TV Sports Reporting for 406 00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:20,035 Speaker 1: the calendar year night I submitted Surprise, Surprise, the Gretzky scoop. 407 00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:23,275 Speaker 1: The Emmys were always judged by a committee of television 408 00:27:23,315 --> 00:27:25,475 Speaker 1: types from a different city, so he didn't have that 409 00:27:25,715 --> 00:27:29,195 Speaker 1: home l A Bias. And the guy from NBC, who 410 00:27:29,235 --> 00:27:32,195 Speaker 1: I had first thought was pranking me about the Gretzky story, 411 00:27:32,235 --> 00:27:36,275 Speaker 1: had somehow found out that the Emmys for would be 412 00:27:36,355 --> 00:27:40,875 Speaker 1: judged in nine in Ohio. In Columbus, Ohio, I think, 413 00:27:41,635 --> 00:27:44,955 Speaker 1: so he managed to get an interview with Morgana the 414 00:27:45,035 --> 00:27:49,155 Speaker 1: Kissing Bandit, who was this scantily clad bucksom woman you 415 00:27:49,195 --> 00:27:52,035 Speaker 1: may remember, who in the old days of innocence, used 416 00:27:52,075 --> 00:27:54,995 Speaker 1: to bribe her way onto Major League Baseball fields and 417 00:27:55,155 --> 00:27:58,115 Speaker 1: bounce out onto the plate or the mound, and she'd 418 00:27:58,115 --> 00:28:01,315 Speaker 1: go and kiss stars like George Brett and Nolan Ryan 419 00:28:01,915 --> 00:28:09,635 Speaker 1: during games. Morganna Morgana Roberts lived near Columbus, Ohio, So 420 00:28:09,675 --> 00:28:12,355 Speaker 1: sure enough, at the Emmy's the next year, my exclusive 421 00:28:12,355 --> 00:28:15,195 Speaker 1: report of the trade of Hockey's greatest player, Wayne Gretzky 422 00:28:15,475 --> 00:28:17,955 Speaker 1: was one of the finalists for the Los Angeles Best 423 00:28:18,035 --> 00:28:21,515 Speaker 1: TV Sports Reporting Emmy. But in the ceremony and it 424 00:28:21,555 --> 00:28:24,875 Speaker 1: was at some old landmark Hotel in Pasadena. They showed 425 00:28:24,915 --> 00:28:27,355 Speaker 1: clips of all the pieces that were finalists and then 426 00:28:27,355 --> 00:28:32,155 Speaker 1: announced that the winner was Fred Rogan k NBC for 427 00:28:32,915 --> 00:28:38,835 Speaker 1: being chased by MORGANA The Kissing Bandit. My agent stood 428 00:28:38,875 --> 00:28:42,675 Speaker 1: up and booed. My girlfriend punched me in the arm 429 00:28:42,755 --> 00:28:45,355 Speaker 1: and said let's get out of here and go drinking. 430 00:28:46,635 --> 00:29:00,075 Speaker 1: We left to the number one story on the countdown. 431 00:29:00,075 --> 00:29:02,315 Speaker 1: And since it is the weekend addition, it's time for 432 00:29:02,395 --> 00:29:06,435 Speaker 1: some James Thurber. The cat Bird's Seat combines two of 433 00:29:06,435 --> 00:29:10,795 Speaker 1: my all time favorite things, Thurber and baseball broadcasting. As 434 00:29:10,795 --> 00:29:13,635 Speaker 1: Thurber will reveal in the story, the title comes from 435 00:29:13,635 --> 00:29:17,715 Speaker 1: a catchphrase used by the Brooklyn Dodgers legendary announcer Red Barber, 436 00:29:18,115 --> 00:29:21,355 Speaker 1: the man who trained Vince Scully and is my late 437 00:29:21,395 --> 00:29:24,755 Speaker 1: friend Vin's only true competition for greatest baseball play by 438 00:29:24,795 --> 00:29:28,235 Speaker 1: play man of all time. I met Red Barber once 439 00:29:28,275 --> 00:29:31,795 Speaker 1: I interviewed him for CNN. He called me Keith throughout 440 00:29:31,795 --> 00:29:35,315 Speaker 1: the interview. I was so starstruck. It's pretty much all 441 00:29:35,355 --> 00:29:40,755 Speaker 1: I remember from the interview. Anyway. Bert Lancaster bought the 442 00:29:40,795 --> 00:29:44,035 Speaker 1: movie rights to this story, and he got Billy Wilder 443 00:29:44,115 --> 00:29:47,435 Speaker 1: to commit to direct it. Well, how come, you've never 444 00:29:47,475 --> 00:29:51,275 Speaker 1: heard of this perfect sounding film, The Catbird Seat, directed 445 00:29:51,275 --> 00:29:55,675 Speaker 1: by Billy Wilder. They sold the rights and in nineteen 446 00:29:55,795 --> 00:29:59,235 Speaker 1: sixty the film was made, but they relocated it from 447 00:29:59,235 --> 00:30:04,195 Speaker 1: Manhattan to Scotland, starring Peter Seller's dressed up as an 448 00:30:04,195 --> 00:30:09,875 Speaker 1: old and as Mr Martin. It's okay unless you've read 449 00:30:09,915 --> 00:30:14,235 Speaker 1: the story or had it read to you from the 450 00:30:14,235 --> 00:30:22,555 Speaker 1: Thurber Carnival, The Catbird Seat by James Thurber. Mr Martin 451 00:30:22,675 --> 00:30:24,875 Speaker 1: bought the pack of camels on Monday night in the 452 00:30:24,875 --> 00:30:28,275 Speaker 1: most crowded cigar store on Broadway. It was theater time 453 00:30:28,315 --> 00:30:31,555 Speaker 1: and seven or eight men were buying cigarettes. The clerk 454 00:30:31,595 --> 00:30:33,755 Speaker 1: didn't even glance at Mr Martin, who put the pack 455 00:30:33,795 --> 00:30:37,355 Speaker 1: in his overcoat pocket and went out. If any of 456 00:30:37,395 --> 00:30:40,555 Speaker 1: the staff at F and S had seen him by 457 00:30:40,635 --> 00:30:44,955 Speaker 1: the cigarettes, they would have been astonished, for it was 458 00:30:45,035 --> 00:30:48,115 Speaker 1: generally known that Mr Martin did not smoke and never had. 459 00:30:49,635 --> 00:30:52,715 Speaker 1: No one saw him. It was just a week to 460 00:30:52,755 --> 00:30:55,715 Speaker 1: the day since Mr Martin had decided to rub out 461 00:30:56,435 --> 00:31:02,795 Speaker 1: Mrs Old Jean Barrows. The term rub out pleased him 462 00:31:02,875 --> 00:31:06,435 Speaker 1: because it suggested nothing more than the correction of an error, 463 00:31:06,835 --> 00:31:12,115 Speaker 1: in this case, an error of Mr Fitzweiler. Mr Martin 464 00:31:12,195 --> 00:31:14,275 Speaker 1: had spent each night of the past week working out 465 00:31:14,275 --> 00:31:17,155 Speaker 1: his plan and examining it as he walked home. Now 466 00:31:17,195 --> 00:31:20,475 Speaker 1: he went over it again for the hundredth time. He 467 00:31:20,635 --> 00:31:25,395 Speaker 1: resented the element of imprecision, the margin of guesswork that 468 00:31:25,595 --> 00:31:29,155 Speaker 1: entered into the business. The project, as he had worked 469 00:31:29,195 --> 00:31:34,315 Speaker 1: it out, was casual and bold. The risks were considerable. 470 00:31:34,555 --> 00:31:39,595 Speaker 1: Something might go wrong anywhere along the line, and therein 471 00:31:39,835 --> 00:31:43,075 Speaker 1: lay the cunning of his scheme. No one would ever 472 00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:47,555 Speaker 1: see in the cautious, painstaking hand of Irwin Martin, head 473 00:31:47,595 --> 00:31:50,475 Speaker 1: of the filing department at F and S, of whom 474 00:31:50,555 --> 00:31:55,395 Speaker 1: Mr Fittweiler had once said, man is fallible, but Martin isn't. 475 00:31:56,675 --> 00:32:01,595 Speaker 1: No one would see his hand, that is, unless he 476 00:32:01,715 --> 00:32:07,035 Speaker 1: were caught in the act. Sitting in his apartment drinking 477 00:32:07,075 --> 00:32:10,595 Speaker 1: a glass of milk, Mr Martin reviewed his case against 478 00:32:10,715 --> 00:32:14,835 Speaker 1: Mrs Old Jean Barrows, as he had every night for 479 00:32:15,035 --> 00:32:19,395 Speaker 1: seven nights. He began at the beginning. Her quacking voice 480 00:32:19,435 --> 00:32:23,355 Speaker 1: and braying laugh had first profaned the halls of F 481 00:32:23,435 --> 00:32:28,435 Speaker 1: and S. On March seven. Mr Martin had a head 482 00:32:28,435 --> 00:32:32,875 Speaker 1: for dates. Old Roberts, the personnel chief, had introduced her 483 00:32:33,315 --> 00:32:37,075 Speaker 1: as the newly appointed special adviser to the President of 484 00:32:37,075 --> 00:32:42,275 Speaker 1: the firm, Mr Fitzweiler. The woman had appalled Mr Martin instantly, 485 00:32:43,075 --> 00:32:45,715 Speaker 1: but he had not shown it. He had given her 486 00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:48,795 Speaker 1: his dry hand, a look of studious concentration and a 487 00:32:48,915 --> 00:32:53,195 Speaker 1: faint smile. Wow, she said, looking at the papers on 488 00:32:53,235 --> 00:32:55,795 Speaker 1: his desk. Are you lifting the ox cart out of 489 00:32:55,795 --> 00:33:01,115 Speaker 1: the ditch? As Mr Martin recalled that moment over his milk, 490 00:33:01,275 --> 00:33:05,235 Speaker 1: he squirmed slightly. He must keep his mind on her 491 00:33:05,235 --> 00:33:08,435 Speaker 1: crimes as a special advisor, not on her peccadillos as 492 00:33:08,435 --> 00:33:12,675 Speaker 1: a personality. This he found difficult to do. In spite 493 00:33:12,675 --> 00:33:16,195 Speaker 1: of entering an objection and sustaining it, The faults of 494 00:33:16,235 --> 00:33:19,035 Speaker 1: the woman as a woman kept chattering on in his 495 00:33:19,115 --> 00:33:23,395 Speaker 1: mind like an unruly witness. She had for almost two 496 00:33:23,475 --> 00:33:27,955 Speaker 1: years now baited him in the halls, in the elevator, 497 00:33:28,075 --> 00:33:30,715 Speaker 1: even in his own office, into which she romped now 498 00:33:30,715 --> 00:33:36,315 Speaker 1: and then like a circus horse. She was constantly shouting 499 00:33:36,355 --> 00:33:39,435 Speaker 1: these silly questions at him. I left in the ox 500 00:33:39,515 --> 00:33:42,115 Speaker 1: cart out of the ditch. Are you tearing up the 501 00:33:42,155 --> 00:33:45,915 Speaker 1: pea patch? Are you hollering down the rain barrel? Are 502 00:33:45,955 --> 00:33:49,275 Speaker 1: you scraping around the bottom of the pickle barrel? Are 503 00:33:49,315 --> 00:33:55,715 Speaker 1: you sitting in the cat married seat? It was Joey Hart, 504 00:33:56,795 --> 00:34:01,075 Speaker 1: one of Mr Martin's two assistants, who had explained what 505 00:34:01,115 --> 00:34:04,755 Speaker 1: the gibberish meant. She must be a dodge of in. 506 00:34:05,275 --> 00:34:08,595 Speaker 1: He had said, Red Boba announces the dodging games over 507 00:34:08,595 --> 00:34:11,515 Speaker 1: the radio, and he uses these expressions, picked them up 508 00:34:11,515 --> 00:34:16,035 Speaker 1: down south. Joey had gone on to explain one or 509 00:34:16,115 --> 00:34:19,995 Speaker 1: two tearing up the pea patch meant going on a rampage. 510 00:34:20,715 --> 00:34:24,635 Speaker 1: Sitting in the catbird seat meant sitting pretty like a 511 00:34:24,715 --> 00:34:28,355 Speaker 1: batter with three balls and no strikes on him. Mr 512 00:34:28,395 --> 00:34:31,755 Speaker 1: Martin dismissed all this with an effort. It had been annoying, 513 00:34:32,155 --> 00:34:34,675 Speaker 1: It had driven him near to distraction, but he was 514 00:34:34,715 --> 00:34:39,235 Speaker 1: too solid a man to be moved to murder by 515 00:34:39,275 --> 00:34:44,195 Speaker 1: anything so childish. It was unfortunate, he reflected, as he 516 00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:47,475 Speaker 1: passed on to the important charges against Mrs Barrows, that 517 00:34:47,555 --> 00:34:50,795 Speaker 1: he had stood up under it so well. He had 518 00:34:50,875 --> 00:34:57,795 Speaker 1: maintained always an outward appearance of polite tolerance. Why I 519 00:34:57,955 --> 00:35:01,675 Speaker 1: even believed you liked the woman mispaired, His other assistant 520 00:35:01,755 --> 00:35:06,115 Speaker 1: had once said to him, he had simply smiled a 521 00:35:06,195 --> 00:35:08,675 Speaker 1: Gavil wrapped in Mr Martin's mind, and the case proper 522 00:35:08,755 --> 00:35:12,875 Speaker 1: was resumed. Mrs all Jean Barrows stood charged with willful, flatant, 523 00:35:12,915 --> 00:35:16,915 Speaker 1: and persistent attempts to destroy the efficiency and system of 524 00:35:16,995 --> 00:35:20,835 Speaker 1: F and S. It was confident material and relevant to 525 00:35:20,875 --> 00:35:24,835 Speaker 1: review her advent and rise to power. Mr Martin had 526 00:35:24,875 --> 00:35:27,435 Speaker 1: got the story from Miss Pere, who seemed always able 527 00:35:27,435 --> 00:35:32,875 Speaker 1: to find things out. According to her, Mrs Barrows had 528 00:35:32,915 --> 00:35:37,075 Speaker 1: met Mr Fitweller at a party where she had rescued 529 00:35:37,155 --> 00:35:40,235 Speaker 1: him from the embraces of a powerfully built, drunken man 530 00:35:40,555 --> 00:35:43,475 Speaker 1: who had mistaken the president of F and S for 531 00:35:43,555 --> 00:35:49,115 Speaker 1: a famous retired middle Western football coach. She had led 532 00:35:49,155 --> 00:35:51,875 Speaker 1: him to a sofa and somehow worked upon him a 533 00:35:52,075 --> 00:35:57,075 Speaker 1: monstrous magic. The aging gentleman had jumped to the conclusion 534 00:35:57,155 --> 00:36:00,395 Speaker 1: there and then that this was a woman of singular attainments, 535 00:36:00,675 --> 00:36:03,275 Speaker 1: equipped to bring out the best in him and in 536 00:36:03,315 --> 00:36:07,195 Speaker 1: the firm. A week later, he had introduced her into 537 00:36:07,315 --> 00:36:14,595 Speaker 1: F and S as his special adviser. On that day, 538 00:36:14,635 --> 00:36:20,155 Speaker 1: confusion got its foot in the door after Miss Tyson, 539 00:36:20,275 --> 00:36:22,755 Speaker 1: Mr Brundage and Mr Bartlett had been fired and Mr 540 00:36:22,835 --> 00:36:25,595 Speaker 1: Munson had taken his hat and stalked out mailing. In 541 00:36:25,835 --> 00:36:29,875 Speaker 1: his resignation letter, Old Roberts had been emboldened to speak 542 00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:33,715 Speaker 1: to Mr Fittweiler. He mentioned that Mr Munson's department had 543 00:36:33,755 --> 00:36:37,835 Speaker 1: become a little disrupted, and hadn't they perhaps better resumed 544 00:36:37,835 --> 00:36:41,955 Speaker 1: the old system there. Mr Fittweler had said, certainly not. 545 00:36:42,755 --> 00:36:46,475 Speaker 1: He had the greatest faith in Mrs Barrow's ideas. They 546 00:36:46,595 --> 00:36:50,515 Speaker 1: require a little seasoning. Little seasoning is all, he had added. 547 00:36:51,915 --> 00:36:55,315 Speaker 1: Mr Roberts had given it up. Mr Martin reviewed in 548 00:36:55,395 --> 00:36:58,515 Speaker 1: detail all the changes wrought by Mrs Barrows. She had 549 00:36:58,515 --> 00:37:01,515 Speaker 1: begun chipping at the cornices of the firm's edifice, and 550 00:37:01,555 --> 00:37:05,755 Speaker 1: now she was swinging at the foundation stone with a pickaxe. 551 00:37:07,715 --> 00:37:09,795 Speaker 1: Mr Martin came now in his summing up to the 552 00:37:09,835 --> 00:37:15,555 Speaker 1: afternoon of Monday, November two, just one week ago. On 553 00:37:15,675 --> 00:37:19,475 Speaker 1: that day, at three pm, Mrs Barrows had bounced into 554 00:37:19,515 --> 00:37:23,195 Speaker 1: his office. Boom. She had yelled, are you scraping around 555 00:37:23,235 --> 00:37:27,635 Speaker 1: the bottom of the pickle barrel? Mr Martin had looked 556 00:37:27,635 --> 00:37:30,715 Speaker 1: at her from under his green eye shade, saying nothing. 557 00:37:31,795 --> 00:37:34,595 Speaker 1: She had begun to wander about the office, taking it 558 00:37:34,635 --> 00:37:38,035 Speaker 1: in with her great popping eyes. Do you really need 559 00:37:38,235 --> 00:37:44,755 Speaker 1: all these filing cabinets, she had demanded. Suddenly. Mr Martin's 560 00:37:44,755 --> 00:37:49,755 Speaker 1: heart had jumped each of these files, he had said, 561 00:37:49,795 --> 00:37:52,835 Speaker 1: keeping his voice even plays an indispensable part in the 562 00:37:52,915 --> 00:37:57,315 Speaker 1: system of f and s. She had brayed at him, well, 563 00:37:57,395 --> 00:38:00,955 Speaker 1: don't tear up the pea patch, and gone to the door. 564 00:38:01,675 --> 00:38:04,835 Speaker 1: From there she had bawled, but you share had I've 565 00:38:04,835 --> 00:38:09,915 Speaker 1: got a lot of fine scrap in here. Mr Martin 566 00:38:09,955 --> 00:38:13,795 Speaker 1: could no longer doubt that the finger was on his 567 00:38:13,995 --> 00:38:18,675 Speaker 1: beloved department. Her pick axe was on the upswing, poise 568 00:38:18,795 --> 00:38:22,715 Speaker 1: for the first blow. It had not come yet. He 569 00:38:22,755 --> 00:38:25,915 Speaker 1: had received no blue memo from the enchanted Mr Fitweller 570 00:38:26,155 --> 00:38:31,035 Speaker 1: bearing nonsensical instructions deriving from this obscene woman. But there 571 00:38:31,075 --> 00:38:33,355 Speaker 1: was no doubt in Mr Martin's mind that one would 572 00:38:33,355 --> 00:38:38,475 Speaker 1: be forthcoming. He must act quickly. Already a precious week 573 00:38:38,555 --> 00:38:43,675 Speaker 1: had gone by. Mr Martin stood up in his living room, 574 00:38:43,715 --> 00:38:47,515 Speaker 1: still holding his milk glass. Gentleman of the jury, he 575 00:38:47,595 --> 00:38:53,235 Speaker 1: said to himself, I demand the death penalty for this 576 00:38:53,435 --> 00:38:59,915 Speaker 1: horrible person. The next day, Mr Martin followed his routine 577 00:38:59,955 --> 00:39:02,715 Speaker 1: as usual. He polished his glasses more often and once 578 00:39:02,835 --> 00:39:06,275 Speaker 1: sharpened and already sharp pencil, but not even Misspaired noticed. 579 00:39:06,915 --> 00:39:09,995 Speaker 1: Only once did he catch sight of his victim. She 580 00:39:10,075 --> 00:39:13,195 Speaker 1: swept past him in the hall with a patronizing hi. 581 00:39:13,995 --> 00:39:16,275 Speaker 1: At five thirty, he walked home as usual and had 582 00:39:16,275 --> 00:39:19,875 Speaker 1: a glass of milk as usual. He had never drunk 583 00:39:19,915 --> 00:39:23,955 Speaker 1: anything stronger in his life, unless you could count ginger Ale. 584 00:39:24,955 --> 00:39:28,275 Speaker 1: The late Sam Schlosser, the s of F and S, 585 00:39:28,315 --> 00:39:30,675 Speaker 1: had praised Mr Martin at a staff meeting several years 586 00:39:30,675 --> 00:39:35,395 Speaker 1: before for his temperate habits. One of our most efficient workers. 587 00:39:35,435 --> 00:39:39,195 Speaker 1: Neither drinks nor smokes, he had said, The results speak 588 00:39:39,275 --> 00:39:45,835 Speaker 1: for themselves. Mr Fittweiler had sat by, nodding approval. Mr 589 00:39:45,835 --> 00:39:48,115 Speaker 1: Martin was still thinking about that red letter day as 590 00:39:48,115 --> 00:39:50,755 Speaker 1: he walked over to the Shafts restaurant on Fifth Avenue 591 00:39:50,795 --> 00:39:53,715 Speaker 1: near Fort Street. He got there as he always did, 592 00:39:53,755 --> 00:39:56,715 Speaker 1: at eight o'clock. He finished his dinner and the financial 593 00:39:56,755 --> 00:39:58,995 Speaker 1: page of the New York Sun A quartered at the nine. 594 00:39:59,035 --> 00:40:02,115 Speaker 1: As he always did. It was his custom after dinner 595 00:40:02,115 --> 00:40:04,675 Speaker 1: to take a walk. This time he walked down Fifth 596 00:40:04,715 --> 00:40:09,235 Speaker 1: Avenue at a casual place. His gloved hands felt moist 597 00:40:09,315 --> 00:40:13,995 Speaker 1: and warm, his forehead cold. He transferred the camels from 598 00:40:13,995 --> 00:40:16,795 Speaker 1: his overcoat to a jacket pocket, he wondered as he 599 00:40:16,835 --> 00:40:19,875 Speaker 1: did so, if they did not represent an unnecessary note 600 00:40:19,875 --> 00:40:25,915 Speaker 1: of strain. Mrs Barrows smoked only Lucky's. It was his 601 00:40:25,995 --> 00:40:30,035 Speaker 1: idea to puff a few puffs on a camel after 602 00:40:30,115 --> 00:40:33,275 Speaker 1: the rubbing out, stub it out in the ashtray, holding 603 00:40:33,275 --> 00:40:37,395 Speaker 1: her lipstick, saying Lucky's, and thus dragged a small red 604 00:40:37,515 --> 00:40:41,315 Speaker 1: herring across the trail. Perhaps it was not a good idea. 605 00:40:41,755 --> 00:40:46,235 Speaker 1: It would take time. He might even choke too loudly. 606 00:40:48,515 --> 00:40:50,955 Speaker 1: Mr Martin had never seen the house on West twelfth 607 00:40:50,995 --> 00:40:53,075 Speaker 1: Street where Mrs Barrows lived, but he had a clear 608 00:40:53,155 --> 00:40:57,115 Speaker 1: enough picture of it. Fortunately, she had bragged to everybody 609 00:40:57,155 --> 00:41:01,835 Speaker 1: about her ducky first floor apartment in the perfectly darling 610 00:41:02,035 --> 00:41:06,795 Speaker 1: three story red brick. There would no doorman or other attendants, 611 00:41:06,875 --> 00:41:09,635 Speaker 1: just the tenants of the second and third floors. As 612 00:41:09,635 --> 00:41:11,995 Speaker 1: he walked along, Mr Martin realized that he would get 613 00:41:12,035 --> 00:41:16,955 Speaker 1: there before nine thirty. He had considered walking north on 614 00:41:17,075 --> 00:41:19,355 Speaker 1: Fifth Avenue from Shrafts to a point from which it 615 00:41:19,355 --> 00:41:21,835 Speaker 1: would take him until ten o'clock to reach the house. 616 00:41:22,115 --> 00:41:24,595 Speaker 1: At that hour people were less likely to be coming 617 00:41:24,635 --> 00:41:27,275 Speaker 1: in or going out, but the procedure would have made 618 00:41:27,315 --> 00:41:31,195 Speaker 1: an awkward loop in the straight thread of his casualness, 619 00:41:31,195 --> 00:41:34,595 Speaker 1: and he had abandoned it. It was impossible to figure 620 00:41:34,595 --> 00:41:37,035 Speaker 1: when people would be entering or leaving the house. Anyway, 621 00:41:37,275 --> 00:41:40,195 Speaker 1: there was a great risk at any hour if he 622 00:41:40,315 --> 00:41:42,555 Speaker 1: ran into anybody, he would simply have to place the 623 00:41:42,635 --> 00:41:47,435 Speaker 1: rubbing out of Old Jean Barrows in the inactive file forever. 624 00:41:48,915 --> 00:41:50,635 Speaker 1: The same thing would hold true if there was someone 625 00:41:50,795 --> 00:41:53,155 Speaker 1: in her apartment. In that case, he would just say 626 00:41:53,195 --> 00:41:56,595 Speaker 1: that he had been passing by, recognized her charming house 627 00:41:57,555 --> 00:42:02,315 Speaker 1: and thought to drop in. It was eighteen minutes after 628 00:42:02,395 --> 00:42:04,595 Speaker 1: nine when Mr Martin turned into twelfth straight. A man 629 00:42:04,715 --> 00:42:08,475 Speaker 1: past him, and a man and a woman talking. There 630 00:42:08,555 --> 00:42:10,715 Speaker 1: was no one within fifty paces. When he came to 631 00:42:10,755 --> 00:42:13,915 Speaker 1: the house halfway down the block. He was up the 632 00:42:13,915 --> 00:42:16,475 Speaker 1: steps and in the small vestibule, and no time pressing 633 00:42:16,475 --> 00:42:19,035 Speaker 1: the bell under the card that said Mrs Old Jean Barrows. 634 00:42:19,235 --> 00:42:21,555 Speaker 1: When the clicking in the lock started, he jumped forward 635 00:42:21,595 --> 00:42:23,835 Speaker 1: against the door. He got inside, fast, closing the door 636 00:42:23,875 --> 00:42:26,275 Speaker 1: behind him. A bulb in a lantern hung from the 637 00:42:26,315 --> 00:42:28,915 Speaker 1: hall ceiling on a chain seemed to give a monstrously 638 00:42:29,035 --> 00:42:31,595 Speaker 1: bright light. There was nobody on the stair, which went 639 00:42:31,635 --> 00:42:34,075 Speaker 1: up ahead of him along the left wall. A door 640 00:42:34,115 --> 00:42:36,355 Speaker 1: opened down the hall on the wall on the right. 641 00:42:37,275 --> 00:42:42,795 Speaker 1: He went toward it, swiftly on tiptoe. Well, for God's sakes, 642 00:42:42,875 --> 00:42:47,235 Speaker 1: let who's here? Baled Mrs Barrows, and her braying laugh 643 00:42:47,395 --> 00:42:50,675 Speaker 1: rang out like the report of a shotgun. He rushed 644 00:42:50,715 --> 00:42:54,915 Speaker 1: past her like a football tacker, bumping her. Hey, quit shoving, 645 00:42:55,355 --> 00:42:58,435 Speaker 1: she said, closing the door behind them. They were in 646 00:42:58,515 --> 00:43:00,795 Speaker 1: her living room, which seemed to Mr Martin to be 647 00:43:00,875 --> 00:43:06,155 Speaker 1: lighted by a hundred lamps. What's that to you? She said, 648 00:43:06,235 --> 00:43:09,435 Speaker 1: you're as jumpy as a goat. He found he was 649 00:43:09,755 --> 00:43:13,755 Speaker 1: unable to speak. His heart was wheezing in his throat. 650 00:43:14,475 --> 00:43:19,595 Speaker 1: I yes, he finally brought out. She was jabbering and 651 00:43:19,675 --> 00:43:22,715 Speaker 1: laughing as she started to help him off with his coat. No, no, 652 00:43:23,155 --> 00:43:26,835 Speaker 1: he said, I'll put it here. He took it off 653 00:43:26,835 --> 00:43:29,715 Speaker 1: and put it on a chair near the door. Your 654 00:43:29,755 --> 00:43:33,075 Speaker 1: hat and gloves too, She said, you're in a lady's house. 655 00:43:34,155 --> 00:43:36,595 Speaker 1: He put his hat on top of the coat. Mrs 656 00:43:36,635 --> 00:43:40,355 Speaker 1: Barrows seemed larger than he had thought. He kept his 657 00:43:40,435 --> 00:43:46,995 Speaker 1: gloves on. I was passing by, he said, I I recognized, 658 00:43:48,355 --> 00:43:53,115 Speaker 1: is there anyone here. She laughed, louder than ever now, 659 00:43:53,595 --> 00:43:56,875 Speaker 1: she said, we're all alone. You're white. Is a sheet? 660 00:43:56,915 --> 00:43:59,795 Speaker 1: You funny man? Whatever has come over you. I'll mix 661 00:43:59,875 --> 00:44:03,275 Speaker 1: you a toddy. She started toward a door across the room. 662 00:44:03,675 --> 00:44:06,595 Speaker 1: Scotch and soda all right, but say you don't drink, 663 00:44:06,675 --> 00:44:11,195 Speaker 1: do you? She turned and gave him her amused look. 664 00:44:11,955 --> 00:44:15,595 Speaker 1: Mr Martin pulled himself together. Scotch and soda will be 665 00:44:15,635 --> 00:44:18,675 Speaker 1: all right, he heard himself say. He could hear her 666 00:44:18,755 --> 00:44:22,595 Speaker 1: laughing in the kitchen. Mr Martin looked quickly around the 667 00:44:22,635 --> 00:44:25,795 Speaker 1: living room for the weapon he had counted on finding one. 668 00:44:25,835 --> 00:44:29,355 Speaker 1: There there were and irons, and a poker, and something 669 00:44:29,355 --> 00:44:31,915 Speaker 1: in a corner that looked like an Indian club. None 670 00:44:31,955 --> 00:44:35,355 Speaker 1: of them would do it. Couldn't be that way. He 671 00:44:35,395 --> 00:44:37,875 Speaker 1: began to pace around. He came to a desk. On 672 00:44:37,955 --> 00:44:41,115 Speaker 1: it lamb metal paper knife with an ornate handle. Would 673 00:44:41,115 --> 00:44:43,915 Speaker 1: it be sharp enough? He reached for it and knocked 674 00:44:43,955 --> 00:44:47,355 Speaker 1: over a small brass jar. Stamps spilled out of it 675 00:44:47,395 --> 00:44:50,675 Speaker 1: and fell onto the floor with a clatter. Hey, Mrs 676 00:44:50,675 --> 00:44:53,395 Speaker 1: Barrows yelled from the kitchen. Are you tearing up the 677 00:44:53,475 --> 00:44:59,355 Speaker 1: pea patch? Mr Martin gave a strange laugh. Picking up 678 00:44:59,355 --> 00:45:01,795 Speaker 1: the knife, he tried its point against his left wrist. 679 00:45:01,835 --> 00:45:08,795 Speaker 1: It was blunt. It wouldn't do. When Mrs Barrows reappeared 680 00:45:08,835 --> 00:45:13,035 Speaker 1: carrying two highballs, Mr Martin, standing there with his gloves on, 681 00:45:13,195 --> 00:45:18,075 Speaker 1: became acutely conscious of the fantasy. He had wrought cigarettes 682 00:45:18,235 --> 00:45:21,435 Speaker 1: in his pocket, a drink prepared for him. It was 683 00:45:21,515 --> 00:45:26,155 Speaker 1: all too grossly improbable. It was more than that, it 684 00:45:26,275 --> 00:45:33,035 Speaker 1: was impossible. Somewhere in the back of his mind a 685 00:45:33,195 --> 00:45:40,635 Speaker 1: vague idea stirred sprouted. For Heaven's sake, take off those gloves, 686 00:45:41,275 --> 00:45:44,835 Speaker 1: said Mrs Barrows. I always wear them in the house, 687 00:45:45,235 --> 00:45:52,475 Speaker 1: said Mr Martin. The idea began to bloom, strange and wonderful. 688 00:45:53,675 --> 00:45:55,755 Speaker 1: She put the glasses on a coffee table in front 689 00:45:55,795 --> 00:45:58,195 Speaker 1: of a sofa and sat on the sofa. Come over here, 690 00:45:58,195 --> 00:46:02,275 Speaker 1: you odd little man, she said. Mr Martin went over 691 00:46:02,315 --> 00:46:04,755 Speaker 1: and sat beside her. It was difficult to get the 692 00:46:04,795 --> 00:46:07,035 Speaker 1: cigarette out of the pack of camels, but he managed it. 693 00:46:07,435 --> 00:46:10,915 Speaker 1: She held a match for him. Laughing well, she said, 694 00:46:10,915 --> 00:46:15,195 Speaker 1: handing him his drink. This is perfectly mirabless you with 695 00:46:15,315 --> 00:46:22,395 Speaker 1: a drink and a cigarette. Mr Martin puffed, not too awkwardly, 696 00:46:23,075 --> 00:46:26,275 Speaker 1: and took a gulp of the highball. I drink and 697 00:46:26,315 --> 00:46:29,875 Speaker 1: smoke all the time, he said. He clinked his glass 698 00:46:29,915 --> 00:46:35,395 Speaker 1: against hers. Here's nuts to that old windbag fitweiler, he said, 699 00:46:35,475 --> 00:46:39,235 Speaker 1: and gulped again. The stuff tasted awful, but he made 700 00:46:39,275 --> 00:46:42,555 Speaker 1: no grimace. Really, Mr Martin, she said, her voice and 701 00:46:42,595 --> 00:46:48,635 Speaker 1: posture changing, you are insulting our employer. Mrs Barrows was 702 00:46:48,715 --> 00:46:53,675 Speaker 1: now all Special advisor to the President. I am preparing 703 00:46:53,715 --> 00:46:57,595 Speaker 1: a bomb, said Mr Martin, which will blow the old 704 00:46:57,675 --> 00:47:01,675 Speaker 1: goat higher than hell. He had only had a little 705 00:47:01,715 --> 00:47:03,835 Speaker 1: of the drink, which was not strong. It couldn't be that. 706 00:47:05,155 --> 00:47:09,435 Speaker 1: Do you take dope or something, Mrs Barrows asked coldly. 707 00:47:10,475 --> 00:47:14,635 Speaker 1: Heroin said Mr Martin. I'll be coked to the gills 708 00:47:14,755 --> 00:47:19,395 Speaker 1: when I bumped that old buzzard off. Mr Martin, She shouted, 709 00:47:19,395 --> 00:47:21,355 Speaker 1: getting to her feet, that will be all of that. 710 00:47:21,555 --> 00:47:25,395 Speaker 1: You must go at once. Mr Martin took another swallow 711 00:47:25,395 --> 00:47:28,075 Speaker 1: of the drink. He tapped his cigarette out in the 712 00:47:28,115 --> 00:47:30,875 Speaker 1: ashtray and put the pack of camels on the coffee table. 713 00:47:30,915 --> 00:47:34,435 Speaker 1: Then he got up. She stood glaring at him. He 714 00:47:34,515 --> 00:47:37,795 Speaker 1: walked over and put on his hat and coat. Not 715 00:47:37,915 --> 00:47:41,355 Speaker 1: a word about this, he said, and laid an index 716 00:47:41,395 --> 00:47:44,755 Speaker 1: finger against his lips. All Mrs Barrows could bring out 717 00:47:44,755 --> 00:47:48,835 Speaker 1: was it really? Mr Martin put his hand on the 718 00:47:48,875 --> 00:47:54,115 Speaker 1: door knob. I'm sitting in the catbird seat, he said. 719 00:47:54,875 --> 00:48:00,475 Speaker 1: He stuck his tongue out at her and left. Nobody 720 00:48:00,715 --> 00:48:05,875 Speaker 1: saw him go. Mr Martin got to his apartment walking 721 00:48:06,195 --> 00:48:08,955 Speaker 1: well before eleven. No one saw him go in. He 722 00:48:09,035 --> 00:48:11,555 Speaker 1: had two glasses of milk after brushing his teeth, and 723 00:48:11,595 --> 00:48:15,155 Speaker 1: he felt elated it wasn't tipsy in his because he 724 00:48:15,195 --> 00:48:18,395 Speaker 1: hadn't been tipsy anyway. The walk had worn off all 725 00:48:18,475 --> 00:48:21,235 Speaker 1: effects of the whiskey. He got in bed and read 726 00:48:21,275 --> 00:48:24,595 Speaker 1: a magazine for a while. He was asleep before midnight. 727 00:48:26,395 --> 00:48:28,595 Speaker 1: Mr Martin got to the office at eight thirty the 728 00:48:28,595 --> 00:48:31,315 Speaker 1: next morning as usual. At a quarter to nine, Old 729 00:48:31,355 --> 00:48:34,395 Speaker 1: Jean Barrows, who had never before arrived at work before ten, 730 00:48:34,555 --> 00:48:38,035 Speaker 1: swept into his office. I am departing to Mr Fittweiller now, 731 00:48:38,515 --> 00:48:41,115 Speaker 1: she shouted. If he turns you over to the police, 732 00:48:41,155 --> 00:48:44,835 Speaker 1: it's no more than you deserve. Mr Martin gave her 733 00:48:44,875 --> 00:48:49,275 Speaker 1: a look of shocked surprise. I beg your pardon, he said. 734 00:48:50,355 --> 00:48:52,995 Speaker 1: Mrs Barrows snorted and bounced out of the room, leaving 735 00:48:52,995 --> 00:48:57,155 Speaker 1: Miss Parrot and Joey Harton staring after her. What's the 736 00:48:57,155 --> 00:49:00,755 Speaker 1: man with that old devil? Now, asked Miss Pared. I 737 00:49:00,835 --> 00:49:04,515 Speaker 1: have no idea, said Mr Martin, resuming his work. The 738 00:49:04,715 --> 00:49:06,595 Speaker 1: other two looked at him, and then at each other. 739 00:49:07,075 --> 00:49:09,875 Speaker 1: Miss Peared got up and went out. She walked slowly 740 00:49:09,955 --> 00:49:14,155 Speaker 1: past the closed door of Mr Fittweiler's office. Mrs Barrows 741 00:49:14,235 --> 00:49:17,635 Speaker 1: was yelling inside, but she was not braying. Miss Pared 742 00:49:17,675 --> 00:49:19,915 Speaker 1: could not hear what the woman was saying. She went 743 00:49:19,955 --> 00:49:25,315 Speaker 1: back to her desk. Forty five minutes later, Mrs Barrows 744 00:49:25,355 --> 00:49:27,875 Speaker 1: left the President's office and went into her own, shutting 745 00:49:27,915 --> 00:49:30,755 Speaker 1: the door. It wasn't until half an hour later that 746 00:49:30,875 --> 00:49:33,315 Speaker 1: Mr Fittweiler sent for Mr Martin, the head of the 747 00:49:33,315 --> 00:49:36,755 Speaker 1: filing department. Neat quiet, attentive, stood in front of the 748 00:49:36,755 --> 00:49:42,395 Speaker 1: old man's desk. Mr Fittweiler was pale and nervous. He 749 00:49:42,475 --> 00:49:44,675 Speaker 1: took his glasses off and twiddled them and made a 750 00:49:44,715 --> 00:49:50,955 Speaker 1: small roughing sound in his throat Martin, He said, you 751 00:49:51,075 --> 00:49:55,035 Speaker 1: have been with us more than twenty years. Twenty two, sir, 752 00:49:55,235 --> 00:50:00,115 Speaker 1: said Mr Martin in that time pursued the President. Your 753 00:50:00,155 --> 00:50:06,075 Speaker 1: work and your manner have been exemplary. I trust so, sir, 754 00:50:06,275 --> 00:50:10,555 Speaker 1: said Mr Martin. I have understood, Martin, said Mr Fittweler, 755 00:50:10,835 --> 00:50:13,995 Speaker 1: that you have never taken a drink or smoked. That 756 00:50:14,155 --> 00:50:20,115 Speaker 1: is correct, sir, said Mr Martin. Uh yes, Mr Fittweiler 757 00:50:20,195 --> 00:50:24,555 Speaker 1: polished his glasses. You may describe what you did after 758 00:50:24,675 --> 00:50:29,715 Speaker 1: leaving the office yesterday, Martin, he said, certainly, sir, he said, 759 00:50:30,115 --> 00:50:33,595 Speaker 1: I walked home. Then I went to Shrafts for dinner. Afterward, 760 00:50:33,795 --> 00:50:35,955 Speaker 1: I walked home again. I went to bed early, sir, 761 00:50:36,035 --> 00:50:37,995 Speaker 1: and read a magazine for a while. I was asleep 762 00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:45,555 Speaker 1: before eleven. Ah. Yes, said Mr Fittweiler. Again. He was 763 00:50:45,595 --> 00:50:48,155 Speaker 1: silent for a moment, searching for the proper words to 764 00:50:48,195 --> 00:50:52,675 Speaker 1: say to the head of the filing department, Mrs Barrows. 765 00:50:53,275 --> 00:50:58,715 Speaker 1: He said, finally, Mrs Barrows has worked hard, Martin, very hard. 766 00:50:59,595 --> 00:51:01,675 Speaker 1: It raised me to report that she has suffered a 767 00:51:01,715 --> 00:51:05,595 Speaker 1: severe breakdown. It has taken the form of a persecution 768 00:51:05,675 --> 00:51:12,955 Speaker 1: complex accompanied by distressing hallucinations. I'm very sorry, sir, said 769 00:51:13,035 --> 00:51:18,675 Speaker 1: Mr Martin. Mrs Barrows is under the delusion, continued Mr Fittweiler, 770 00:51:18,995 --> 00:51:23,515 Speaker 1: that you visited her last evening and behaved yourself in 771 00:51:23,555 --> 00:51:28,355 Speaker 1: a an unseemly matter. He raised his hand to silence 772 00:51:28,435 --> 00:51:31,595 Speaker 1: Mr Martin's little, pained outcry. It is the nature of 773 00:51:31,635 --> 00:51:36,635 Speaker 1: these psychological diseases, Mr Fittweiler said, to fix upon the 774 00:51:36,715 --> 00:51:41,675 Speaker 1: least likely and most innocent party as the source of persecution. 775 00:51:42,555 --> 00:51:45,835 Speaker 1: These matters are not for the lay mind to grasp, Martin. 776 00:51:46,395 --> 00:51:49,795 Speaker 1: I've just had my psychiatrist, Dr Fitch on the phone. UH. 777 00:51:49,835 --> 00:51:52,795 Speaker 1: He would not, of course commit himself, but he made 778 00:51:52,875 --> 00:51:58,275 Speaker 1: enough generalizations to substantiate my suspicions. I suggested to Mrs 779 00:51:58,355 --> 00:52:03,835 Speaker 1: Barrows when she had completed her UH story to me 780 00:52:03,915 --> 00:52:08,675 Speaker 1: this morning. It she visit Dr Fitch before I suspected 781 00:52:08,675 --> 00:52:11,635 Speaker 1: a condition to watch, she flew, I regret to say, 782 00:52:11,675 --> 00:52:16,955 Speaker 1: into a rage and demanded requested that I call you 783 00:52:17,035 --> 00:52:20,715 Speaker 1: on the carpet. You may not know, Martin, but Mrs 784 00:52:20,755 --> 00:52:25,115 Speaker 1: Barrows had planned a reorganization of your department, subject to 785 00:52:25,155 --> 00:52:28,715 Speaker 1: my approval. Of course, subject to my approval. This brought you, 786 00:52:28,875 --> 00:52:32,395 Speaker 1: rather than anyone else to her mind. But again, that 787 00:52:32,475 --> 00:52:35,195 Speaker 1: is a phenomenon for Dr Fitch and not for us. 788 00:52:36,195 --> 00:52:41,115 Speaker 1: So Martin, I'm afraid Mrs Barrow's usefulness here is at 789 00:52:41,155 --> 00:52:47,995 Speaker 1: an end. I'm dreadfully sorry, sir, said Mr Martin. It 790 00:52:48,075 --> 00:52:50,915 Speaker 1: was at this point that the door to the office 791 00:52:51,155 --> 00:52:54,515 Speaker 1: blew open with the suddenness of a gas main explosion, 792 00:52:54,715 --> 00:52:58,075 Speaker 1: and Mrs Barrows catapulted through. It is the little rat 793 00:52:58,155 --> 00:53:01,315 Speaker 1: denying it, she screamed. He can't get away with that. 794 00:53:02,595 --> 00:53:05,155 Speaker 1: Mr Martin got up and moved discreetly to a point 795 00:53:05,195 --> 00:53:09,835 Speaker 1: beside Mr Fittwealer's chair. You drank and smoked at my apartment, 796 00:53:10,235 --> 00:53:12,395 Speaker 1: she bawled at Mr Martin, And you know it. You 797 00:53:12,475 --> 00:53:15,315 Speaker 1: called Mr Fittweiler an old wind bag and said you 798 00:53:15,355 --> 00:53:17,315 Speaker 1: were gonna blow them up when you got coked to 799 00:53:17,395 --> 00:53:22,275 Speaker 1: your gills on your heroine. She stopped yelling to catch 800 00:53:22,275 --> 00:53:25,035 Speaker 1: her breath, and a new glint came into her popping eyes. 801 00:53:25,715 --> 00:53:29,555 Speaker 1: If you weren't set to drab, ordinary, little man, she said, 802 00:53:30,235 --> 00:53:34,395 Speaker 1: I'd think you'd planned it all, sticking your tongue out, 803 00:53:34,675 --> 00:53:37,395 Speaker 1: saying you were sitting in the cat buried seat because 804 00:53:37,715 --> 00:53:40,475 Speaker 1: you thought no one would believe me when I told it. 805 00:53:41,275 --> 00:53:47,275 Speaker 1: My god, it's really too perfect, She brayed loudly and hysterically, 806 00:53:47,475 --> 00:53:49,635 Speaker 1: and the fury was on her again. She glared at 807 00:53:49,715 --> 00:53:53,435 Speaker 1: Mr Fittweiler. Can't you see how he has tricked us, 808 00:53:53,435 --> 00:53:58,355 Speaker 1: you old fool. Can't you see his little game? But 809 00:53:58,515 --> 00:54:02,115 Speaker 1: Mr Fittwealer had been surreptitiously pressing all the buttons under 810 00:54:02,115 --> 00:54:04,795 Speaker 1: the top of his desk, and employees of f As 811 00:54:04,915 --> 00:54:09,235 Speaker 1: began pouring into the room. Stockton said, Mrs Pittweiler, you 812 00:54:09,515 --> 00:54:13,075 Speaker 1: and Fishbine will take Mrs Barrows to her home. Mrs Powell, 813 00:54:13,155 --> 00:54:15,755 Speaker 1: you will go with them. Stockton, who had played a 814 00:54:15,755 --> 00:54:18,715 Speaker 1: little football in high school, blocked Mrs Barrows as she 815 00:54:18,875 --> 00:54:21,635 Speaker 1: made for Mr Martin. It took him and fish Mine 816 00:54:21,675 --> 00:54:24,795 Speaker 1: together to force her out of the door into the hall, 817 00:54:25,155 --> 00:54:29,195 Speaker 1: crowded with stenographers and office boys. She was still screaming 818 00:54:29,235 --> 00:54:34,195 Speaker 1: imprecations at Mr Martin, tangled and contradictory imprecations. The hubbub 819 00:54:34,955 --> 00:54:39,835 Speaker 1: finally died out down the corridor. I regret that this 820 00:54:39,875 --> 00:54:44,395 Speaker 1: has happened, said Mr Fittweiler. I shall ask you to 821 00:54:44,635 --> 00:54:49,075 Speaker 1: dismiss it from your mind. Martin. Yes, sir, said Mr Martin, 822 00:54:49,155 --> 00:54:53,675 Speaker 1: anticipating his chiefs that will be all. By moving to 823 00:54:53,715 --> 00:54:59,395 Speaker 1: the door, I will dismiss it. He went out and 824 00:54:59,475 --> 00:55:03,115 Speaker 1: shut the door, and his step was light and quick 825 00:55:03,315 --> 00:55:06,315 Speaker 1: in the hall. When he entered his department. He had 826 00:55:06,355 --> 00:55:09,755 Speaker 1: slowed down to his customary gate, and he walked quietly 827 00:55:10,435 --> 00:55:15,715 Speaker 1: across the room to the double New twenty file, wearing 828 00:55:15,715 --> 00:55:22,675 Speaker 1: a look of studious concentration. From the Thurber connorable The 829 00:55:22,715 --> 00:55:41,195 Speaker 1: Catbird Seat by James Thurber. Countdown has come to you 830 00:55:41,235 --> 00:55:44,315 Speaker 1: from the studios of Old Run Broadcasting. Empire World headquarters 831 00:55:44,315 --> 00:55:47,435 Speaker 1: is in the Sports Capsule Building in New York. Thank 832 00:55:47,475 --> 00:55:50,155 Speaker 1: you for listening here the credits. Most of the music, 833 00:55:50,195 --> 00:55:53,595 Speaker 1: including our theme from Beethoven's Ninth, was arranged, produced and 834 00:55:53,635 --> 00:55:56,795 Speaker 1: performed by Brian Ray and John Philip Chanelle, who are 835 00:55:56,835 --> 00:56:00,155 Speaker 1: the Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by John 836 00:56:00,155 --> 00:56:03,755 Speaker 1: Philip Chanelle, guitarist, bass and drums by Brian Ray, produced 837 00:56:03,755 --> 00:56:06,835 Speaker 1: by T K O others. Other Beethoven selections have been 838 00:56:06,915 --> 00:56:10,315 Speaker 1: arranged and performed by No Horns Allowed. The sports music 839 00:56:11,035 --> 00:56:13,115 Speaker 1: is the Olderman theme for me ESPN two and it 840 00:56:13,155 --> 00:56:15,875 Speaker 1: was written by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. 841 00:56:16,235 --> 00:56:19,915 Speaker 1: Musical comments from Nancy Faust. The best baseball stadium organist ever. 842 00:56:20,275 --> 00:56:23,315 Speaker 1: Our announcer today was Jonathan Banks from Breaking Bad. Everything 843 00:56:23,395 --> 00:56:26,635 Speaker 1: else is pretty much my fault, So let's countdown for 844 00:56:26,635 --> 00:56:30,115 Speaker 1: this the seven and fifty second day since Donald Trump's 845 00:56:30,115 --> 00:56:33,035 Speaker 1: first attempted coup against the democratically elected government of the 846 00:56:33,075 --> 00:56:37,275 Speaker 1: United States. Arrest him now while we still can. The 847 00:56:37,315 --> 00:56:40,155 Speaker 1: next scheduled countdown is Monday. Till then, I'm Keith Alderman. 848 00:56:40,795 --> 00:56:45,555 Speaker 1: I'm old, good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. 849 00:57:03,555 --> 00:57:07,395 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Alderman is a production of I heart Radio. 850 00:57:07,435 --> 00:57:10,355 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i 851 00:57:10,475 --> 00:57:14,835 Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.