Speaker 1: Hi, Welcome to the Carol mark Witz Show on Imheartradio.
Speaker 1: It's hard to avoid the election. I'm super in it
Speaker 1: like many of you, and I try to keep politics
Speaker 1: out of this show, but obviously it seeps in from
Speaker 1: time to time, and a few days before major presidential
Speaker 1: election is just that kind of time. I'm already hearing
Speaker 1: from people who are saying that their relationships, their friendships,
Speaker 1: their family connections are getting strained.
Speaker 2: Because of the election.
Speaker 1: On News Nation the other night, JD Vance said, if
Speaker 1: you're discarding a lifelong friendship because somebody is voting for
Speaker 1: the other team, then you've made a terrible, terrible mistake
Speaker 1: and you should do something different. Don't cast aside family
Speaker 1: members in lifelong friendships. Politics is not worth it. I
Speaker 1: love that he said that, especially because he's on the
Speaker 1: ticket obviously and should want people to care more about
Speaker 1: voting for him than their friendships. It was nice of
Speaker 1: him to say that. But I'm not going where you
Speaker 1: think I'm going with all this. Yes, I think you
Speaker 1: should keep politics separate from your friends and family. People
Speaker 1: who love you can disagree with you have different values
Speaker 1: than you all of it. I'm very kombayah about the
Speaker 1: whole thing. Really, I have friends who I love who
Speaker 1: are firmly on the left. I don't have any leftist family,
Speaker 1: but that's.
Speaker 2: Really just sheer luck.
Speaker 3: Haha.
Speaker 1: What I want to say, though, is that we've been
Speaker 1: talking on the show about making friends in adulthood, and
Speaker 1: I actually think it's completely okay to not pursue friendship
Speaker 1: with people on the opposite political side. I know it
Speaker 1: doesn't make sense that I would say that, because I
Speaker 1: just said I have lots of friends on the left,
Speaker 1: So why am I dissuading you from friend making across
Speaker 1: political lines? And look, if you meet someone, you're playing
Speaker 1: tennis with them, you meet them at work, whatever, you
Speaker 1: hit it off, and they have opposite politics but you
Speaker 1: like each other. Of course, go for it friends. But
Speaker 1: friendships in adulthood usually take more work than this. So
Speaker 1: if you meet someone and before you really know if
Speaker 1: they're funny, or if you have things in common or
Speaker 1: any of that, you find out you're not politically aligned,
Speaker 1: I think it's fine to say, eh, not going to
Speaker 1: pursue this friendship, especially if your political ideals do really
Speaker 1: matter to you. Plenty of people are mostly apolitical, so
Speaker 1: if that's you, great, But if your politics do matter
Speaker 1: to you, I say keep the old friends with whom
Speaker 1: you're not politically aligned, But no need to be in
Speaker 1: any big rush to make more of these.
Speaker 2: As you get.
Speaker 1: Older, it's hard to maintain friendships. And I said in
Speaker 1: a previous episode that things like hobbies might not actually
Speaker 1: matter in new friendships as much as we think, but
Speaker 1: values and outlook they might matter a lot more. Again,
Speaker 1: to me, I find humor to be top of the list,
Speaker 1: like our are we laughing at the same stuff? Can
Speaker 1: we make each other laugh? That matters to me. So
Speaker 1: if I meet a super leftist, I find them really
Speaker 1: funny and we have amazing banter like that's to me
Speaker 1: as a friend. But a relationship that I have to
Speaker 1: work at and we don't have ideals in common. Tougher Again,
Speaker 1: you meet somebody at work, you crack up all through
Speaker 1: lunch and then she's voting for Kamala and you're voting
Speaker 1: for Trump. But doesn't mean you can't be friends. You're
Speaker 1: already pick her in grown up friendships. Give yourself permission
Speaker 1: to sort by politics too. That's all I'm saying. Don't
Speaker 1: discard people like JD Van said, but having similar lifestyles
Speaker 1: to new friends that you make as a grown up
Speaker 1: will go a long way into turning them into old friends.
Speaker 1: If you've got thoughts on this, drop me an email
Speaker 1: Carol Markowitz Show at gmail dot com. K A R
Speaker 1: O L M A R K O W I c
Speaker 1: asn't Charlie z is and Z Show at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Coming up next and interview with Alan Colvert. Join us
Speaker 1: after the break. Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show
Speaker 1: on iHeartRadio. My guest today is Alan Covert. Alan is
Speaker 1: an actor producer. You've seen him in all the Adam
Speaker 1: Sandler movies, Happy Gilmore, the wedding singer, Little Nikki, all
Speaker 1: of them. And he's also the star of the cult
Speaker 1: classic where I first saw him, Grandma's Boy.
Speaker 2: Hi, Alan, So nice to have you on.
Speaker 3: Hey, Carol, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about this this is I've had a
Speaker 1: lot of well known guests on the show, but you
Speaker 1: are the guest that I cannot wait for like my
Speaker 1: group of like non political, non Twitter nerd friends, like
Speaker 1: my real crew of friends to see this, and they're
Speaker 1: going to be like you had Grandma's Boy on, It's
Speaker 1: going to be a very exciting moment.
Speaker 3: Well, thank you. I mean, you know, a cult. Look,
Speaker 3: I'll take the cult, Oh for sure. I don't need
Speaker 3: to be that famous. It's too much of an infringement
Speaker 3: on your life.
Speaker 2: I like, are we not supposed to drink the kool
Speaker 2: aid during the movie? Because I thought that's what?
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no. I'm like the cult thing because you know,
Speaker 3: it's small enough and rabid enough that I can, like,
Speaker 3: you know, get a good seat at a restaurant if
Speaker 3: there's a big line in the hosts, but not enough
Speaker 3: to where like people bother me non stop. I've been
Speaker 3: around people like that. Yeah right, I've spent a good
Speaker 3: chunk of my life around people who can't go to
Speaker 3: the mall. And I like going to the mall. But yeah,
Speaker 3: but it's I'm glad people like it, and it's always
Speaker 3: fun to have people mention it to me.
Speaker 1: So I did some research on you before the show.
Speaker 1: Learned a lot of things I didn't know.
Speaker 2: You were born in.
Speaker 3: Florida, Yes, sported rays. Actually I didn't grow up on
Speaker 3: pub where Markago is. I grew up where the people
Speaker 3: who had jobs live, as if my dad had a job,
Speaker 3: those poor people. Yeah, but I knew a lot of
Speaker 3: people who lived on Palm Beach. You know, it's it's
Speaker 3: a funny town. Uh so, But I remember when marro
Speaker 3: Lago was empty. That kid was an abandoned mansion and
Speaker 3: no one lived there. And then Trump bought it. He
Speaker 3: bought it after I had moved and stuff. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I grew up in South Florida.
Speaker 2: I love Palm Beach.
Speaker 1: I you know a lot of people compared to like
Speaker 1: other rich you know, enclaves like the Hampton's or whatever,
Speaker 1: the Palm Beach is so colorful and unusual. I just
Speaker 1: I love it there. I mean, if if funny were
Speaker 1: no object, I'd live.
Speaker 3: On the island. A friend of mine from high school
Speaker 3: hit it big and he's got a house a block
Speaker 3: off the beach about Worth End.
Speaker 2: I didn't even mind, like three blocks off the beach.
Speaker 2: I'll take you.
Speaker 3: But it's like he bought that not because he cares
Speaker 3: about living on Palm Beach, but because there is it's
Speaker 3: a public beach. But to actually get there, you'd have
Speaker 3: to walk like five miles.
Speaker 1: And there's nowhere to park. And yeah, they know what
Speaker 1: they're doing over there. Yeah, So how did you get
Speaker 1: into acting?
Speaker 2: What's your path here.
Speaker 3: It was something I always wanted to do. As a kid,
Speaker 3: I did plays, and it's just always fascinated by movies.
Speaker 3: I mean I was telling someone yesterday, we were talking
Speaker 3: about old movies that we saw in the theaters, because
Speaker 3: that's part of my whole thing I'm trying to do,
Speaker 3: which we'll get to eventually. Gotta. I remember like just
Speaker 3: riding my bike to the movie theater alone to see
Speaker 3: a matinee of Young Frank and stuff. No, I remember
Speaker 3: running home to get home in time to watch. I
Speaker 3: loved Lucy. I was just I loved comedy. I loved
Speaker 3: stand up comedy. I love cartoons that were funny. I
Speaker 3: loved anything that made me laugh. And you know, Jerry Lewis, buddy,
Speaker 3: it just whoever was funny. I was just obsessed with
Speaker 3: and I don't know, but it was funn because then
Speaker 3: when it came to like me doing it, I never
Speaker 3: thought I was funny. So I just wanted to be
Speaker 3: in movies. I wanted to be an actor, but then
Speaker 3: I was funny.
Speaker 2: Do people still try to be funny?
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of funniness has been lost.
Speaker 1: Do you see that or do you still find funny?
Speaker 2: Around.
Speaker 3: There's so much funnier, right, Yeah, but right now it's
Speaker 3: pretty right now, it's pretty much in the stand up
Speaker 3: realm and in the podcast and independent realm. Look, some
Speaker 3: of the funniest people I've read are on.
Speaker 2: Twitter, right, so you enjoyed the twittery of them?
Speaker 3: Three year Wetterman, Oh nobody.
Speaker 2: I love three year Letterman so good.
Speaker 3: And I just go, wow, you're a great writer. Yeah,
Speaker 3: they're iowah. Oh yeah, so's the you know, autism of
Speaker 3: the cars where he can literally see a fender and
Speaker 3: be like nineteen twelve Henry Ford's personal you know, I mean,
Speaker 3: I knew the guy free Twitter. Yeah, I don't know him,
Speaker 3: but I means and I remember I think he was
Speaker 3: the one who did Zark Carwe's Mom's letter or letter
Speaker 3: to the press or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a lot of funny on Twitter.
Speaker 3: Actually, what so many funny people out there, and people
Speaker 3: are dying to be funny and one of the reasons.
Speaker 3: One of my big things in life right now at
Speaker 3: this moment. Look, I worked at Happy Madison before it
Speaker 3: was Happy Matters.
Speaker 2: That's Adam Sandler's that's.
Speaker 3: Adam Sales com production company. Basically, the people who there
Speaker 3: from the beginning. We were all in college together, and
Speaker 3: then after the movie started it and then Happy Madison
Speaker 3: got formed. But I mean we were involved all the
Speaker 3: way through.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they were okay, They're all okay with like
Speaker 1: you being an outspoken conservative on Twitter.
Speaker 2: That's well.
Speaker 3: You know, there was a period of my life where
Speaker 3: I didn't go as nuts on Twitter because I knew
Speaker 3: that I that I represented Adam in the company, and
Speaker 3: so I tried to be as respectful to him in
Speaker 3: the company as I could. You know, at the end
Speaker 3: of the day, I'm an adult, but I also understand
Speaker 3: that I'm associated with a brand that you know, it's
Speaker 3: not my position to go out there, so I would
Speaker 3: try to keep things, you know, look like what sorry.
Speaker 2: Right, arguments are fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have now that because what happened was just
Speaker 3: not to but to kind of get to what I'm
Speaker 3: trying to explain to you is that three years ago
Speaker 3: I had to take time off to deal with some
Speaker 3: family issues. I thought it was only gonna be a
Speaker 3: little bit and we are here, are we We are
Speaker 3: here three years later, and I think it's time for
Speaker 3: me to get back to work. I think I'm Kate.
Speaker 3: I think that the situation I was dealing with is
Speaker 3: almost done, and i'd like to get back to work. Earlier,
Speaker 3: about a year ago, I thought I was getting ready
Speaker 3: and I let Adam know that that I was going
Speaker 3: to be leaving the company just because I'm I turned
Speaker 3: sixty the other day, and so I was just.
Speaker 2: Like, while you really you do not look sixty.
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm look eighty now.
Speaker 2: But the people watching this on video will know.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, but look at it. I have like two
Speaker 3: overnight bags. I take my own luggage with me. But
Speaker 3: so I said to him, my go look, I said,
Speaker 3: I just I want to do something. I just want
Speaker 3: to do something. I was like, I did everything that
Speaker 3: was on my list of things. I said, So now
Speaker 3: I got a new list of things, and that involves
Speaker 3: I want to I just want to make R rated
Speaker 3: comedies and bring them back to theaters. Yes, that's it,
Speaker 3: that's amazing. And here's why this, to me, this is important.
Speaker 3: It's not just hey, I want to be dumb and
Speaker 3: make money.
Speaker 2: But making money is that bad?
Speaker 3: I have no fun? But yes, I wouldn't think it.
Speaker 2: It comes with money. Why not, you know.
Speaker 3: Money, I wouldn't have been able to be in the
Speaker 3: position to take three years off to care for my family. Right,
Speaker 3: I'm very eager to prop it off of my work, sure, sir.
Speaker 3: And so that's my whole goal. And it's because my
Speaker 3: daughter graduated high school this year. She's a film nerd.
Speaker 3: Her friends are film nerds. They do not have a
Speaker 3: single movie to call their own from her. I had ten, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I had.
Speaker 1: So that's really what I was asking was nothing seems
Speaker 1: like the funny kind of our radar.
Speaker 3: Actors are ridy, Yeah, rectors already. The studios are stupid.
Speaker 2: I am clear that hurdle.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm here talking to you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, I love it.
Speaker 3: Any billionaires listening.
Speaker 2: Yes, we have millions, Holly would.
Speaker 3: There's always money and disruption, Guys, Auckywood's broken distribution is broken.
Speaker 3: I know a lot of Look, I've been out here
Speaker 3: for thirty five forty years making movies, thankfully and luckily
Speaker 3: I know a lot of the people who run the studios,
Speaker 3: just because I've been out here so damn long. Right,
Speaker 3: you know the guy like one of the you know,
Speaker 3: you meet a guy who's someone's assistant. Twenty five years
Speaker 3: later they show yeah, and you know, and these are
Speaker 3: people who came out here to make movies, and they
Speaker 3: get it. But there's this whole generation under them that's
Speaker 3: making the decisions of what scripts get through the filter. Right,
Speaker 3: have a clue, what's fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that filter is holding up everything.
Speaker 3: Well, it's sad because look, I'll tell you this, this
Speaker 3: isn't me. Everyone knows how I feel about things. My
Speaker 3: daughter's friends are very artsy high school. They're begging for
Speaker 3: already comedies. Right, These are not maga kids.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me think it's funny.
Speaker 3: A lot more conservative than people would think they are,
Speaker 3: because the things they are conservative about are the things
Speaker 3: that they're pushing back against that they feel are being
Speaker 3: shoved out in their throats. Because these kids, who all
Speaker 3: want to be filmmakers, they all watched Grahamar's Boy a
Speaker 3: few Oh yeah, it was the first time my daughter
Speaker 3: had seen it. Oh wow, she's on the state team.
Speaker 2: I thought it like played on like on loop in
Speaker 2: your house.
Speaker 3: Oh god. My son is like, why do I watch
Speaker 3: any of your movies?
Speaker 2: He told your son?
Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm just getting them through the happy gil
Speaker 3: Moore's Yes with water Boys. I wouldn't even let them
Speaker 3: watch Billy Madison.
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, I mean I don't think.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm almost ready for my kids to see Billy Madison.
Speaker 1: I remember laughing my face off at Billy Madison. That
Speaker 1: was in college when it came out, and just like
Speaker 1: my best friend and I just doubled over in pain
Speaker 1: laughing in the movie theater. And I just that's what
Speaker 1: I mean when I say I don't think things are funny,
Speaker 1: because I can't imagine that seeing a movie that I
Speaker 1: would find that funny today.
Speaker 2: I just I can't remember what the last movie I
Speaker 2: saw like that.
Speaker 3: Maybether, can I But I've seen I've seen stand up guys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, stand up a good place.
Speaker 3: Script I have scripts.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, stand up is I think harder, harder to
Speaker 1: cancel because it's one guy and it's like or girl,
Speaker 1: and you're either laughing or you're not.
Speaker 3: Like movies, I'm gonna go I'll go do an arena
Speaker 3: to k Yes.
Speaker 2: Yes exactly.
Speaker 1: But movies you have the gatekeeper and you have the
Speaker 1: people who put it through the filter. So I just
Speaker 1: and none of it's and not just movies, but TV
Speaker 1: shows or late night shows, like my god, these late
Speaker 1: night hosts are not just not funny, but like unfunny, deeply,
Speaker 1: deeply unfunny. They're angry and they're not at all humorous.
Speaker 3: And yeah, I've known the Jimmies, both of them. I've
Speaker 3: known both of them for thirty five years. Tweet. I
Speaker 3: met Jimmy Fallon when we were shooting The Wedding Singer,
Speaker 3: and he was a stand up comic who had been
Speaker 3: in town about two weeks. These guys are funny guys.
Speaker 2: So what happened to them? Why are they not funny anymore?
Speaker 3: It depends on what you watch. I mean, they're we're both,
Speaker 3: I mean they both still do things that make me laugh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Jimmy Kimmel completely to me, come to.
Speaker 3: And it's part of the problem with Hollywood. Look, I
Speaker 3: love Jimmy Kimmel. If I called Jimmy Kimmel and said
Speaker 3: I need you to come be in this movie today,
Speaker 3: he probably do it. He's always like friendly and sweet
Speaker 3: and so nice. And you know, I don't agree with
Speaker 3: his politics. Look, his old partner Adam Carolla doesn't really
Speaker 3: with his right. Yeah, I just think that like when
Speaker 3: when you're supposed to appeal to everyone and you make
Speaker 3: a concerted effort to go after one person, insess me relentlessly.
Speaker 3: A lot of people obviously a lot of people still watch.
Speaker 2: But I wouldn't even care.
Speaker 1: I would not even care if it was going after
Speaker 1: one side, if it was funny, if he made me laugh,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't care if you attacking my politics like it's
Speaker 1: just it's so, it's just political ranting.
Speaker 3: Like I said, Look, I love those two guys. I
Speaker 3: know Val since he was a kid. I remember talking
Speaker 3: to him when he was nervous doing Saturday a lot.
Speaker 3: You know, he's a great impressionist, he's a great writer.
Speaker 3: He's really Look, you don't get to be that job
Speaker 3: unless you actually are charming and can appeal to people. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and uh, I just yeah, I think Jimmy was nice
Speaker 3: to Trump.
Speaker 2: Right, and then he had to apologize for that.
Speaker 3: Just got destroyed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he cried in his apology.
Speaker 3: Well, a lot of people they look at their life
Speaker 3: getting destroyed and they get scared.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So when they ask you if you're not.
Speaker 3: Scared, because I don't care, I mean I really just don't.
Speaker 2: I've had that not caring quite a little far.
Speaker 3: But a great life, you know, said, I've lit a
Speaker 3: great light.
Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break and be right
Speaker 1: back on the Carol Marcowitch Show.
Speaker 3: You know your first question was what do you worry about?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we didn't get to that. What do you worry about?
Speaker 3: Alan only thing I worry about my kids, that's it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's it. But that involves so much, right, involves everything? Yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, but that's it. I don't care about my job.
Speaker 3: I'll go get them the job. I'll find us to do.
Speaker 3: I'll be your co.
Speaker 2: Host, yes, if you my co You know, I really.
Speaker 3: Don't care all those autographs at conventions every weekend to
Speaker 3: put over my kid's head. All I care about is
Speaker 3: my kids, right, That's all I worry. I worry about
Speaker 3: their future. I worry about what they're being taught.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: My oldest daughter forced me to let her get vaccinated
Speaker 3: so she could go see Harry Styles at Madison's Square Garden.
Speaker 3: Any time gets sick, Yeah, I feel guilty. No, really,
Speaker 3: it's because I get vaccinated and I worry about or
Speaker 3: constantly because of that. Yeah, because the other three.
Speaker 1: I was just like no, right, but if it makes
Speaker 1: me feel better, I think that the you know, the
Speaker 1: time period has been long enough that you know the
Speaker 1: problems would have potentially developed by now, so now, don't
Speaker 1: beat yourself up over it. But I also I vaccinated
Speaker 1: my oldest two with the pediatric vaccine to send them
Speaker 1: to sleep Away Cam.
Speaker 2: And I, you know, I'm like, why didn't I just
Speaker 2: spake a vaccine card like everybody else, what are they doing?
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, that's all I'm worried about. That's it. My kids,
Speaker 3: their future, their health and you know. And but also
Speaker 3: this relates, like me wanting to do these R rated
Speaker 3: movies relates to that. Because here's my theory, mind, my
Speaker 3: theory in my stupid head of why I think this
Speaker 3: is important. These kids, I mean, all they do, all
Speaker 3: they hear all day is how horrible everything is and
Speaker 3: how they need to save the world because their parents
Speaker 3: let them down. I mean, pressure on these kids is insane.
Speaker 3: And I would really say, you're a kid, go out
Speaker 3: with your friends and do something stupid. Go go go
Speaker 3: hike and find a dead body. I can stand by me. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I have a movie that I'm trying to get made
Speaker 3: in connection with Bill Burr's company called All Things Comedy.
Speaker 3: Look at the Guy. Like Bill Burr is a lot
Speaker 3: of conservative, right, but if you heard left wing liberal,
Speaker 3: you know, white women talk about it right, bill Burr's Tromp. Yes,
Speaker 3: Bill Burr's not voting for Tromp.
Speaker 2: Right, and he has some of the better jokes about
Speaker 2: the right.
Speaker 3: I think he The reason Gilbert's jokes are funny about
Speaker 3: Trump is because they're funny, right, and he doesn't use
Speaker 3: them to try to make people hate m But I
Speaker 3: personally think I have a movie called Scavenger Hunt. It's
Speaker 3: the most simple movie there is. It's Scavenger Hunt, Senior Night,
Speaker 3: Scavenger Hunt, last day School. That's it. Cars full of kids,
Speaker 3: you got the jocks, you got the nerds, you got
Speaker 3: the arts seeds, you know, and all the chorus have titles.
Speaker 3: It's like, you know, great writers. I don't have their
Speaker 3: names in front of me, and I'm just clueless. But
Speaker 3: I mean, I let my daughter read this script and
Speaker 3: she goes, Wow, the dialogue's really good. It's not cringe.
Speaker 2: It's just for me, not cringe. That's the best complimented
Speaker 2: teenager could give you.
Speaker 1: Here.
Speaker 3: Here's what one of her friends, who I know for
Speaker 3: a fact is probably voting for Calabolas, said to me.
Speaker 3: A guy, He's like, you need to make more funny movies,
Speaker 3: he said, he said, all we ever get is literally
Speaker 3: he said this to me. He said, all we ever
Speaker 3: get is gender in suicide.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all so dark. It's like they're supposed to
Speaker 2: be worried all the time.
Speaker 3: And it's just like I tell my son every day,
Speaker 3: I go, who cares you ten? Go play baseball as
Speaker 3: a google pliant tree in the backyard and pretend you're
Speaker 3: a pirate. That's all I tell them all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they get They just get this kind of
Speaker 1: pushed on them their whole lives. I mean, just the
Speaker 1: fact that we, for example, teach climate change starting in kindergarten, Like, why,
Speaker 1: even if you're a super pro climate change, you know,
Speaker 1: pro telling everybody about it, why start telling them in
Speaker 1: kindergarten that the world is in trouble.
Speaker 2: What is the kindergartener going to do for you? How
Speaker 2: are they going to help to solve this problem.
Speaker 3: I have one of these crazy memories, not like become
Speaker 3: a photographic but I just like to no, trust me,
Speaker 3: if you had me read something, gave me a quiz
Speaker 3: on it, I'd probably answer, well, But I just remember
Speaker 3: stuff for my life. And I know for a fact
Speaker 3: that one night I was watching All in the Family,
Speaker 3: which it's one of my favorite shows ever. Well, I
Speaker 3: was I think nine, maybe my son's age ten, and
Speaker 3: it was the first time I'd ever heard about the
Speaker 3: ozone hole. Meathead was going off about how we were
Speaker 3: killing ourselves and that the ozone hole was going to
Speaker 3: kill us all right, like ten years What year was that,
Speaker 3: Probably seventy seven, seventy six, maybe I don't know. I'd
Speaker 3: remember where were My dad was in law school, so
Speaker 3: I was definitely ten and under. But I just remember
Speaker 3: literally getting to knock in my stomach and getting scared.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it didn't help anything, right, You being scared
Speaker 1: did not arou hole in the old Zone.
Speaker 3: I was watching an adult show, but I remember that fear. Yeah. Now,
Speaker 3: I remember sitting here at sixty going what happened with.
Speaker 2: We fixed it? We like patched it?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: Oh, look at Gore's movie. Yeah, not one prediction in
Speaker 3: that movie came true.
Speaker 1: And you know it's not true because al Gore continued
Speaker 1: living however he wanted and didn't change any of your Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: so how concerned is he really?
Speaker 2: It's by the way, I didn't wonder about that.
Speaker 3: Look, I fly regular back in the day when I
Speaker 3: was going around with sailor a lot. I will tell
Speaker 3: you right now that there is no greater luxury on
Speaker 3: earth than flying.
Speaker 1: I've only done it twice in my life, and it
Speaker 1: was magical.
Speaker 2: Magical. Yeah, Oh it's so good. The car just meets
Speaker 2: you on the tarmac. I mean unbeatable.
Speaker 3: Today, Okay, I mean it's literally like the most like
Speaker 3: like the Pharaoh of Egypt did not live as well
Speaker 3: as that.
Speaker 2: Not even close. Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to sit here and tell other people
Speaker 3: you can't go on vacation, right.
Speaker 2: I know, we'll go on vacation.
Speaker 1: Just don't lecture me while you're flying on your private
Speaker 1: jet alone.
Speaker 2: Leonardo DiCaprio like a.
Speaker 3: Lot of others that I'm yeah right, and I mock them.
Speaker 3: By the way, Look, most of a lot of people
Speaker 3: are friends. There's people out here that do horrible things
Speaker 3: that I'm not friends with. There's Hollywood as not. It
Speaker 3: appears evil because the people who were evil seem to
Speaker 3: be the loudest.
Speaker 2: Right now, there's almost true for every everything.
Speaker 3: So many good people out here. But the but the
Speaker 3: problem is not so much evil. Is did he evil? Apparently? Yes?
Speaker 2: Sounds like it, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Sounds like it. Yes, evidence pointing to it. Yes, is
Speaker 3: bob Iger evil?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: Is Bob Iger arrogant and deluded? Completely Bawbaiger thinks it's
Speaker 3: his job to mold the brains of America's youth to
Speaker 3: agree with what he agrees. That's right. I thinks that's
Speaker 3: the right thing, and so is that.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: You know, well that ship up. I agree and to
Speaker 3: market ruthlessly. But you know what's great right now is
Speaker 3: uh uh Maya Rudolph and Dana Carvey on SNL. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Oh my god. He's doing the Biden they should have
Speaker 3: been doing for three and a half years, and she's
Speaker 3: doing the Kamla that.
Speaker 2: They have to watch it.
Speaker 3: They did a couple of cold openings, and the reason
Speaker 3: they're good is because they're not doing it out of hate.
Speaker 2: Yeah, cure to you.
Speaker 3: Maya does not hate Kamla, right, of course. I don't
Speaker 3: know what Dana thinks. But his impression is not about
Speaker 3: a man he hates, right, He's doing an impression about
Speaker 3: a man he observes. And that's why guys like Shane
Speaker 3: Gillis and Bill Bill Burr and these guys can make jokes.
Speaker 3: People love Shane Gillis.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love Shane Gilloss Trump ruthless all the time. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but he does it in a way.
Speaker 3: That that's like not like this Mattheo Receivo Man on Earth.
Speaker 3: It's like, listen funny this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So what would you what advice would you give
Speaker 1: your sixteen year old self coming.
Speaker 3: Up in this avon TI. Honestly, like I said before,
Speaker 3: I've my life since from the time I was ten.
Speaker 3: I mean I've I've I'm a lucky man. I ended
Speaker 3: up in crazy places that I had no business being
Speaker 3: long and some business no no, long before I was
Speaker 3: ever in a movie. I mean, I just was never
Speaker 3: afraid to go on adventures. I was never I don't know,
Speaker 3: I really was dumb and had no fear and I looked,
Speaker 3: you know, I don't want to be like some Oh,
Speaker 3: but I you know, look, I've been in and out
Speaker 3: of rehab. I was in a mental institution of rehab
Speaker 3: where they blocked the doors every night. I hitchhiked across
Speaker 3: the country when I was eighteen. Wow, I mean I
Speaker 3: just was like, I did crazy stuff. I ended up
Speaker 3: and I just weaseled my way into some amazing adventures.
Speaker 1: And I think you're not giving yourself enough credit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe you've had some some setbacks in your life, but
Speaker 1: well I didn't weasel your way in you. You watch
Speaker 1: them talented your way in my way in you charmed.
Speaker 3: Maybe.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll give you that.
Speaker 3: Every every mistake I'm ended with the lesson nothing killed me.
Speaker 3: People were like, do you wish you'd never done drugs? No,
Speaker 3: because I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday
Speaker 3: who I've been friends with forty years, that I met
Speaker 3: in rehab, you know, and there's no time for my
Speaker 3: life when that's the only guy who understood what I
Speaker 3: was going through. He's amazing. I loved him, and I
Speaker 3: would have I have at least fifteen people in my
Speaker 3: life like that that. If I hadn't gone to a
Speaker 3: mental institution, I wouldn't know them. And we all laugh.
Speaker 3: We were like, we made it through. We were talking
Speaker 3: about that yesterday. He was like, you turned sixty. He
Speaker 3: goes a lot of people didn't think he'd make it
Speaker 3: to thirty. And so my advice to my sixteen year
Speaker 3: old self would just be, don't stray, just keep going,
Speaker 3: just push on through. It's always going to have you
Speaker 3: know anything, I swear to God, I told my son
Speaker 3: this yesterday because he was upset about something, and I says, like, dude,
Speaker 3: anything that doesn't kill you is a funny story. Your
Speaker 3: leg hurts right now, I go next week you'll be
Speaker 3: telling it and it's a funny story, right, It's like,
Speaker 3: so just keep going. But yeah, then why is I
Speaker 3: give to myself, you know, to my son, I'm like,
Speaker 3: he sure.
Speaker 2: Don't hurt your leg, it's not that funny.
Speaker 3: Well I always forget to give him his bike helmet though,
Speaker 3: Oh no, really, people like he needs a bike helmet.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, well, I've loved this conversation. I just
Speaker 1: think you are hilarious, one of the best people ever.
Speaker 1: I will absolutely send this to all the billionaires I know,
Speaker 1: hopefully get.
Speaker 2: You some funding for that what in our movie? That
Speaker 2: makes a lot of sense, I do.
Speaker 3: That's like, and I know how to market it where
Speaker 3: you don't have to spend money on TV.
Speaker 2: There you go.
Speaker 1: I feel like that that is an easy proposal for somebody.
Speaker 3: To have the eight keepers. Let's get around them like bits, right.
Speaker 3: But podcasting didn't exist ten years ago. Yeah, and now
Speaker 3: it's literally the biggest thing driving media today.
Speaker 2: I think it's going to make it.
Speaker 3: Let's find a way to do it. Yeah, thank you
Speaker 3: so much. I've always been and I I mean we've
Speaker 3: been mutuals on Twitter for how long?
Speaker 2: I mean a long time. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have always loved following you. You're always again. I
Speaker 1: love the funny.
Speaker 2: Funny is most important to me.
Speaker 3: Oh, I get violet when I here's the thing. Listen
Speaker 3: if you see me on Twitter going after someone, just
Speaker 3: remember this. I'm laughing right because I quote from it.
Speaker 2: I love they're laughing, but you're laughing.
Speaker 3: I'm laughing. I live from a stand up point of view.
Speaker 3: If you're going to hackle me, I'm going to destroy it. Right.
Speaker 3: It's like I'm not over here. Ay, you're over here
Speaker 3: going look at this idiot? What else can maybe?
Speaker 1: I'm well and here with your best tip for my
Speaker 1: listeners on how they can improve their lives.
Speaker 3: Don't listen to the haters. I know it's hard and
Speaker 3: you don't have to be like supremely self confident, but
Speaker 3: they don't. They're jealous, they're they're full of hate, They're
Speaker 3: sad about their own lives. Don't don't let people look.
Speaker 3: I would have quit. I would have quit the movie
Speaker 3: business thirty five years ago because every movie I've ever
Speaker 3: made is one of the lowest rated movies of all time.
Speaker 2: I'm not joking, is that true?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah?
Speaker 2: Talk about find somebody hits.
Speaker 3: People are like got the rare zero and rotten Tomatoes.
Speaker 3: I think I have read zero Grandma's Boys I can
Speaker 3: eat No really, oh yeah, yeah yeah. Don't listen to
Speaker 3: the haters. They're stupid. Just enjoy your life, find find
Speaker 3: the things that make you happy, and that's it. That's
Speaker 3: the only thing I can do.
Speaker 2: Love it.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming on, Ellen, Alan Colbert.
Speaker 1: Check him out. Give him funding for a funny movie.
Speaker 2: We really really need it.
Speaker 3: Awesome, Carol, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Marcowit Show.
Speaker 2: Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.