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Speaker 1: Welcome back to a couple's Counseling with Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: I am here with my friends Rosebud Baker and her

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Speaker 2: husband Andy Haynes. Hi, Rosebudd and Andy, thank you for

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Speaker 2: being here today as a couple. On the subject of

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Speaker 2: having a baby, like, I mean, I know you guys

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Speaker 2: are married, but there's a level of permanence and that

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Speaker 2: comes along with the baby. Yeah, that kind of So

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Speaker 2: I'm curious, as somebody who will never be married or

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Speaker 2: have a baby, what it does that shift feel like,

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Speaker 2: because before you get the baby anyway, I'm.

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Speaker 3: Married, just leave.

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Speaker 2: And yes, it's it's hard to get a divorce, but

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Speaker 2: it's not that hard, right, It's actually not hard.

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Speaker 1: I mean, anyone can do it. It's achievable.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, here's where I stand with it.

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Speaker 4: It's like, when Andy and I are having problems, if

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Speaker 4: I think like worst case scenario, you know, like, oh

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Speaker 4: my god, what if we're gonna what if we get

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Speaker 4: a divorce and we have to like split custody of

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Speaker 4: like you know and all this shit. Andy's not someone

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Speaker 4: that I could ever look at and be like, I

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Speaker 4: never want to see you again. There's never you know,

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Speaker 4: I married someone and I had a baby with someone

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Speaker 4: that I want in my life no matter what, whatever happens.

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Speaker 3: So I kind of remind myself of that.

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Speaker 4: If there's ever a moment where we're like going through

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Speaker 4: a really bumpy period and we're like, oh my god,

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Speaker 4: what's gonna happen, you know, you kind of can't live

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Speaker 4: in fear of that happening, because if you do, you

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Speaker 4: will end up just like committing to a life that

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Speaker 4: you don't care if you're happy in or not. You know,

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Speaker 4: like you gotta be willing to go, Okay, this could happen,

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Speaker 4: but we don't want it to. We're going to work

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Speaker 4: towards not letting that happen no matter what. But if

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Speaker 4: it were to happen, at least I know like that

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Speaker 4: that's happening with him because I love him just as

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Speaker 4: a person, you know, like outside of now, I feel

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Speaker 4: like I'm getting a little too sweet, but but yeah,

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Speaker 4: I want him my life no matter what.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think also, what you something you said is

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Speaker 2: really important is that if you're so working so hard

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Speaker 2: to avoid the breakdown of a relationship, it's probably more inevitable.

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Speaker 2: You have to work with the notion that if that

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Speaker 2: did happen everything would be okay, And I think you

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Speaker 2: have a higher chance of survival being a pragmatist about relationships, right,

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Speaker 2: Like that way you have a healthy attitude and you're like,

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Speaker 2: of course you don't want your relationship to break up,

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Speaker 2: but you also can't look at the possibility of that

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Speaker 2: as like, you know, ending your life, like it's going

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Speaker 2: to ruin everything in your life.

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Speaker 1: And I think a lot of couples do that.

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Speaker 2: They get so codependent with each other that the thought

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Speaker 2: of a breakdown in the relationship is like.

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Speaker 1: Oh, no, no, no, I'm going to be alone. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to be alone. And it's like, no, you're not.

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Speaker 2: Everyone's going to Everyone survives, you know, and it's not

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Speaker 2: like you're looking forward to it, but it's understanding you

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Speaker 2: have the knowledge and like the capability to handle the situation.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it did.

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Speaker 5: It did change our relationship immensely though, because.

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Speaker 6: When we were you know, like, wait, what did having

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Speaker 6: the baby?

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Speaker 5: Oh for sure, because like I commuted to London for

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Speaker 5: six months the end of twenty twenty two and I

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Speaker 5: would be in London for four.

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Speaker 6: Weeks to six weeks.

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Speaker 1: What were you doing there?

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Speaker 5: I worked for a soccer team doing like making content

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Speaker 5: for a soccer team and then doing comedy over there,

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Speaker 5: and we wouldn't talk for four days, you know, sometimes

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Speaker 5: like and we had a kind of relationship where it

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Speaker 5: wasn't like I mean, I didn't love not talking to her,

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Speaker 5: but I wasn't worried, and we had a relationship where

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Speaker 5: we could check in, you know, shoot a text every

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Speaker 5: couple of days, and I wasn't like, oh, what's happening

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Speaker 5: with us? And I remember when Rosebud told me she

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Speaker 5: was pregnant. I was like getting ready to go back

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Speaker 5: over to Europe and do a bunch of stuff. And

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Speaker 5: it was like and I hadn't told her everything, like

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Speaker 5: my because it wasn't even like that.

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Speaker 6: Our marriage wasn't like where will you be?

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Speaker 3: Then?

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Speaker 6: Where will you be? Like that?

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Speaker 5: And now it's like where are you going to be

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Speaker 5: at two pm?

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Speaker 6: Today?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like we can't leave the house without checking in

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Speaker 4: with each other. That was like a huge And I

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Speaker 4: don't know why I didn't even think about that.

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Speaker 6: I didn't either, I don't think.

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Speaker 2: I don't think most people think about it because you're

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Speaker 2: pregnant for nine months, but you're not the day you

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Speaker 2: bring that baby home, You're You're never leaving your house again.

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Speaker 2: It was so nine months isn't really enough of a preparation.

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Speaker 2: I know you wanted it to be shorter because your

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Speaker 2: pregnancy you were dying in the end, but like it's

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Speaker 2: just not enough time to prepare, no, to have a

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Speaker 2: baby in your house and you can never fucking do

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Speaker 2: anything again without checking.

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Speaker 4: You make sure there's no there's literally nothing that can

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Speaker 4: prepare you for it. I just was like, I guess

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Speaker 4: I thought both of us were like we thought like, oh,

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Speaker 4: we'll have a baby there, but like we can just

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Speaker 4: like do whatever we were doing before.

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Speaker 3: We just have a baby, comedy class.

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Speaker 4: It's not even It's so crazy how I can't even

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Speaker 4: focus on what the thing that I want to focus

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Speaker 4: on if she's around, because I'm just like watch her

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Speaker 4: and laughing.

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Speaker 2: And do you feel like you've had to make a

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Speaker 2: lot of sacrifices since you've had the baby with your

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Speaker 2: like personal lives or.

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Speaker 4: I was saying last night if we went to I

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Speaker 4: was like, if if somebody thinks that they're ready to

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Speaker 4: have a kid, they should bring they should go to

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Speaker 4: a nice restaurant with their significant other and bring a

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Speaker 4: bat on a leash. Yeah, yeah, And just see how

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Speaker 4: that goes.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, go to a movie theater with a dog that

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Speaker 5: you give a cup of coffee.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like it's just it's NonStop, and it's the

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Speaker 5: best way to describe it is it's the best thing

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Speaker 5: I've ever done, and it also ruined my life, you

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Speaker 5: know what I mean, Like it's like that kind of juxtaposition.

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Speaker 3: It like ruined our lives for the better.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but it fucking there's days where it sucks ass,

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Speaker 4: and then there's days where it's like, oh my god, like.

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Speaker 6: That's the coolest thing and it's the best.

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Speaker 3: Thing I've ever seen.

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Speaker 4: And it's not even like it's just cool to us,

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Speaker 4: it's not cool to anyone else. So there's something that

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Speaker 4: there's something about that that like I feel like so

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Speaker 4: much closer to him based off of that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I can see that it's like trauma bonding.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it is trauma bonding. Yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 6: I'll tell you this. I've learned that I was doing

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Speaker 6: this selfishly.

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Speaker 5: But all the women in marriages with babies, you should

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Speaker 5: know that if your husband is offering to do a

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Speaker 5: lot of errands and chores, it's actually it's a hack.

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Speaker 3: They already know that. They already know that.

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Speaker 6: Okay, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, everyone knows that you guys aren't doing chores. No,

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Speaker 3: we are doing You're doing it to get a vacation.

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Speaker 6: You're doing chores, but I get to leave you.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: I was so fucking furious. That drove me fucking crazy.

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Speaker 4: His errand running, Oh my god. He'd be like, I

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Speaker 4: have to move the car. I'm like, I'm moving the car.

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Speaker 4: I just started taking his errands.

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Speaker 5: That's the number one thing I miss about La is

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Speaker 5: what running errands? Just getting in a car doing a

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Speaker 5: bunch of shit.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I love running errands really target.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh yeah, so you must be so fucking organized, right,

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Speaker 2: house is so organized.

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Speaker 3: Yes, He's always like taking ship out of drawers.

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Speaker 5: And it's funny because Rosebuddy is also organized, but it's

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Speaker 5: all surface. Like you'll open a drawer and it'll just

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Speaker 5: be like an old Nabisco's bag and a bubblegum and

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Speaker 5: her underwear nine iPhones ago, my underwear probably after it's

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Speaker 5: doing in the drawer for a little while. Yeah, if

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Speaker 5: we're getting to the pudding blow.

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Speaker 2: Job, I mean I think you guys are going to

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Speaker 2: do the toffee pudding.

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Speaker 1: Someone's gonna get it. We just don't know who.

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Speaker 3: It's going to be a.

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Speaker 2: Really nice white You have to wait for you at

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Speaker 2: a hotel situation. You don't do that at your own

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Speaker 2: Obviously she was in a car, so that's cleanable, right.

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Speaker 5: We need some kind of booth situation where we can

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Speaker 5: use the shower attach.

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Speaker 4: That's never Let me tell you something that's never gonna

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Speaker 4: happen in your life.

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Speaker 3: Whatever Chelsea just suggested. It's never nice.

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Speaker 6: I know it's not.

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Speaker 2: I should have suggested it before you had a baby

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Speaker 2: and before you like hit your one year anniversary.

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Speaker 3: Still wouldn't have. I wouldn't have.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do it to something. If you drink

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Speaker 1: it's great.

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Speaker 3: I mean, give somebody a.

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Speaker 2: Toffee blowjob and poor toffee and ice cream on their

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Speaker 2: dick while you're I mean, that's so nice. It was

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Speaker 2: like a toffee pudding situation. But it fell out of

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Speaker 2: the cop and I just thought, this is going to

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Speaker 2: inspire millions, Like so many women are going to want

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Speaker 2: to do that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, and I'm not like you know, I mean.

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Speaker 2: Well you gotta find yeah, I gotta find someone that

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Speaker 2: like you know that you really want a pleasure that.

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Speaker 1: It's a very nice idea for sure.

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Speaker 2: It's a really nice thing because think about what would

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Speaker 2: happen if somebody was on the receiving end of a blowjob,

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Speaker 2: a toffee putting blowjob.

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Speaker 1: That would be like one of the best days of

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Speaker 1: your life.

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Speaker 4: You didn't get you get a Willy Wonka Golden ticket

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Speaker 4: and a toffee toffee pudding blowjob.

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Speaker 6: Just something for you guys.

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Speaker 1: To think about.

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Speaker 2: I feel like all couples need to think about it,

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Speaker 2: and that's why I'm introducing it.

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Speaker 3: We'll revisit when she moves out.

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Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, god.

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Speaker 2: If you even still have a penis at that point.

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Speaker 2: So what are your next steps and moving forward with

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Speaker 2: your family? Are you guys like focusing on are you

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Speaker 2: done or you want to have more children?

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Speaker 1: Like what do you have any plans? Or you just

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Speaker 1: being in the moment.

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Speaker 3: I'm I'm being in the moment.

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Speaker 4: But also I feel like this is I think we're

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Speaker 4: one and done. Yea, I think we're one and done. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's it is an impossible job.

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Speaker 5: It's also like I think it's like if we stay

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Speaker 5: in New York, it's so much different. You know, if

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Speaker 5: you can go someplace where like it's normal to have

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Speaker 5: three and four bedrooms, but Manhattan is just like it's

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Speaker 5: And it's also like I take her out and it's

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Speaker 5: like it's already I.

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Speaker 6: Have a wild animal.

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Speaker 5: And then it's like a guy's smoking crack and another

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Speaker 5: guy's shitting in the corner.

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Speaker 6: It's a lot.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And it feels like I didn't want to like

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Speaker 4: completely give up our lifestyle when we when we got pregnant,

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Speaker 4: I was like, look, I don't want to forget myself.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to forget what makes me happy. I

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Speaker 4: don't want you to forget what makes you ha. And

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Speaker 4: I want to keep doing the things that like fill

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Speaker 4: us up so that our daughter isn't like being raised

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Speaker 4: by two shells, you know. So I just want to

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Speaker 4: like do a great job now and if at some

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Speaker 4: point we're like, oh, I think we actually could do

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Speaker 4: this again.

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Speaker 5: We have six baby girls in a freezer somewhere down

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Speaker 5: the embryos.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, so we can six girls.

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Speaker 1: That's the high number of girls.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're from a family of girls, and you're from

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Speaker 2: a family of girls.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I guess that does add up.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think we're good with one.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think it's just we want to do our jobs.

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Speaker 5: I think we're just like, we spent the year getting

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Speaker 5: used to this, and then now I think now we

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Speaker 5: want to do our jobs so that our daughter sees

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Speaker 5: two really happy parents. I think that's kind of the goal,

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Speaker 5: you know, and whatever that means.

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Speaker 6: I don't. I don't know where we'll live. I don't.

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Speaker 6: That's the nice thing about it, And I don't know.

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Speaker 1: What would you ever consider moving out of New York?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we've thought about it. Every time we come back.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm not leaving, and then every time we leave,

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Speaker 4: I'm like, I'd think about it.

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Speaker 2: So it's everywhere I go. I think about living every

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Speaker 2: fucking place I go. I'm like, I could live here.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't live in Napa. Yeah, yeah, Yildsburg. I love Yieldsburg.

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Speaker 4: Man.

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Speaker 6: I'm just like, I love outdoor stuff. So it's really

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Speaker 6: hard sometimes with New York.

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Speaker 3: But Andy loves imagining a life somewhere else.

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Speaker 6: It is everywhere now.

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Speaker 2: I think that's what we're drilling down on, is that

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Speaker 2: all everyone is always fantasizing about what it would be like.

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Speaker 5: But we did go to Seattle and it was like

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Speaker 5: we got off the plane and it was like so clean,

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Speaker 5: and I was just like, oh my god, like because

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Speaker 5: I'm from there, and it was just like, oh, this

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Speaker 5: is like what air used to be.

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Speaker 2: Like Yeah, yeah, the Pacific Northwest is where it's at

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Speaker 2: for the clean air and for the toffee pudding blow chops.

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Speaker 6: Is that where the book takes We're.

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Speaker 2: Gonna we're gonna end on that. No, we're going to

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Speaker 2: end you guys. This was very sentimental. I really enjoyed it.

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Speaker 3: Was it too Barbara Walters at all?

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Speaker 2: Because you know what, sometimes they're ridiculous and sometimes they

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Speaker 2: get serious. It's kind of good to have it all

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Speaker 2: over the good it's all out of care. Is that

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Speaker 2: it's sincere?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 1: You know, no, not at all? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: All right?

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Speaker 2: Good?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like two open wounds.

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Speaker 1: I know, I love it. I love it.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you guys for doing it. I appreciate

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Speaker 2: thank you for being open enough to come and do it.

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Speaker 2: I mean, not like it's a real therapy session, but

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Speaker 2: you are talking about your dirty laundry.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And that's all for this week with Rosebud and Andy.

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Speaker 2: Tune in next time as we continue couples Counseling with Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: You can check out Rosebud and Andy's podcast. It's called

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Speaker 2: Find Your Beach Andy. It will be on tour in Dallas,

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Speaker 2: Oklahoma City, and Tulsa in September, Amsterdam on October twenty fifth,

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Speaker 2: and then he has two dates in Milwaukee in December,

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Speaker 2: so check out his Instagram and TikTok at I'm Andy

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Speaker 2: Haynes h y Nes for tickets to those dates and

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Speaker 2: for more, and you could find both Andy and Rosebud

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Speaker 2: on YouTube.

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Speaker 1: Rosebud will be taping her.

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Speaker 2: New special on September sixteenth in New York at the

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Speaker 2: Village Underground and you can get to us to this

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Speaker 2: and more of her dates at Rosebudbaker dot com and

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Speaker 2: you can find her on Instagram and TikTok at rosebud Baker.

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Speaker 2: Upcoming shows that I have. I'm coming to Texas, I'm

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Speaker 2: coming to Saint Louis and Kansas City, and then I

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Speaker 2: will be in Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater

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Speaker 2: inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel. I'm coming to Brooklyn, New York

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Speaker 2: at the King's Theater on November eighth, and I have

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Speaker 2: tickets on sale throughout the end of the year. In December,

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Speaker 2: so if you're in a city like Philadelphia or Bethlehem

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Speaker 2: or San Diego or New Orleans or Omaha, check Chelseahandler

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Speaker 2: dot com for tickets okay