1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,560 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bombing with Eric Andre, the podcast where 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: I talk with comedians, musicians, friends, chefs, and. 3 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 2: Known murderers convicted murderers. Actually, we have a lot of 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 2: them on the show. 5 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:16,080 Speaker 1: This episode we featured three of my best drinking buddies, 6 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 1: Nick Rutherford, Carl has Cornell Red some of my favorite 7 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:23,600 Speaker 1: standup comics. They're my vacation and adventure buddies. We've all 8 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: gone to the worst open mics in the world together 9 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,480 Speaker 1: for the past twenty years, and collectively we've had the 10 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: most absurd, raunchiest nights. As always, follow the podcast for 11 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: new episodes every week. Rate us five stars of check 12 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: out Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get 13 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: exclusive weekly bonus content plus ad free episodes. 14 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:45,480 Speaker 2: Let's get into it, Bobby. 15 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 3: With aeric Andre. 16 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 2: We'll start with our worst bombing stories, and. 17 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 3: Then we'll. 18 00:00:56,560 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 4: Take turn saying the N word. Okay, I heard you 19 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 4: had a fuck. Do you want to kick it off 20 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 4: or do you want to make sure I can hear 21 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 4: you like boom? 22 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 2: Yeah? 23 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,119 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I'm of. 24 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,400 Speaker 2: The century story. 25 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:13,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. 26 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 6: Should I start now? 27 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 2: We're recording? Oh yeah, yeah, we're recording. 28 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,319 Speaker 6: All right, So this was right when I started doing 29 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 6: stand up comedy. I was still in college and my Ra, 30 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 6: who was I was kindly friendly with, she comes up. 31 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 6: She's like, hey, knocks on my dorm room, open the doors, Hey, 32 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 6: I got you a set some fifteen minutes. Come follow me. 33 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 6: And I was like, okay, so I walk with her. 34 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:37,960 Speaker 6: I follow her. 35 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,680 Speaker 7: We go to like the how people get booked from 36 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:42,919 Speaker 7: comedy shows all the time. 37 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 6: Most of them start doing comedy, and I was just like, wow, 38 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 6: I'm a new comic. This sounds like an opportunity to shine, 39 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 6: you know. And I started walking to the little like 40 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 6: center they have. And as we start walking to this 41 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:02,559 Speaker 6: little event center, I see signs all over for uh 42 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 6: Soul Night. 43 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,639 Speaker 5: I'm like, surely this can't. 44 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 2: Be like a neo soul like an Eric or what. 45 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 6: Uh No, it was just black in general. 46 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,639 Speaker 5: It wasn't especial. 47 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:31,239 Speaker 6: Yes, yes, yes, Soul Night. I walk inside, following my Ra, 48 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 6: who wasn't black either. I don't know how she got 49 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 6: this booking on this. 50 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 8: She's like, I got a guy. I got it. 51 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 5: I got the perfect guy for you. 52 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 6: My brother, well, my name's Cornell too, so they probably 53 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 6: don't even bad. And EYE like that sounds great. I 54 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 6: walk in and it's full. It's packed. There's like three 55 00:02:56,280 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 6: hundred people there in the seats, and on State is 56 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,639 Speaker 6: spoken word poetry going on. 57 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,559 Speaker 2: Yeahtry slam. 58 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 6: CSU Northward poetry slam going down, and they are loving it. 59 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 6: After that gospel choir comes off, you were like perfect, yeah, yeah, 60 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 6: you know it's so naive. Back then, I was just like, well, 61 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 6: I'm gonna get up there and kill him. This is 62 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 6: gonna be great. Comedy fits in line with this programming. 63 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 6: So gospel choir finishes and the like up next for 64 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 6: some comedy. Here's Cornell read and I walk on stage 65 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 6: immediately silent record. Yes, absolutely, I start telling my first joke. Nothing, 66 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 6: absolutely nothing. 67 00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 2: Remember the joke. 68 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 6: I don't remember the joke, but I do remember. 69 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 5: It was, what's the deal with black people? 70 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 2: Too many? 71 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 6: Cornell, Hey, I'm glad you guys are here, because no 72 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,919 Speaker 6: one's not robbing my car right now. 73 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 9: She just started doing Bernie Max sat from Comedy Jam. 74 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 5: But I was very scared. 75 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 3: I was. 76 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 8: I am scared, very scared. 77 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 6: So I started doing jokes and then they just start 78 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 6: they're talking, they're not paying attention. 79 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,039 Speaker 5: They start heckling me. 80 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 6: Like before I would I would start setting up a joke, 81 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 6: they would go like haa before I even got to 82 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:52,599 Speaker 6: the punchline, and they're heckling like me like that I was, 83 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 6: you know, and I was like two years into it. 84 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like a heckle. Well, that sounds like 85 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 2: they were having fun. 86 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 5: What's your problem with black people? 87 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 8: That guy killed? 88 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,240 Speaker 5: Hell, he's doing really well. My favorite comedian. 89 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 9: It's really mad at for some. 90 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:11,360 Speaker 6: Reason though they know, they're like trying to uh shut 91 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 6: me up, like like uh. 92 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 5: Mocking me. 93 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 6: And you know, I'm so early on into comedy. I'm 94 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 6: doing like what's the deal with transformers? I mean, with 95 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 6: that one robot transforms into a tape player? What tap player? 96 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 6: In the future at least be a CD player? You know. 97 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 8: That's very strong. 98 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 6: Sure, my material for. 99 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,280 Speaker 8: He's outdated a little bit. 100 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 6: So I'm doing these jokes and I'm still going even 101 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 6: though no one's giving me anything. I'm powering through. These 102 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 6: people are legitimately trying to interfere with my set. And 103 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,039 Speaker 6: I bring up one joke and this guy goes like 104 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,480 Speaker 6: the hah before I it anywhere, and I look at 105 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 6: him and he had one sleeve rolled up on his 106 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 6: T shirt. And for some reason. It sparked a memory 107 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 6: in me. I got the feeling to riff to finally 108 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 6: win this audience on my side up yeah yeah, And 109 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 6: he had one sleeve rolled up, and it reminded me 110 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:26,840 Speaker 6: of the movie Sunset Park. I don't know if you've 111 00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:30,160 Speaker 6: remember that movie, but it's like Ray Pearlman coaches an 112 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 6: inner city basketball team. 113 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 3: That movie I have. 114 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 6: Yeah, it was not a hit, but it was in 115 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 6: the late nineties that movies around. And one of the 116 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 6: guys on the basketball team had one of his sleeves 117 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 6: cut off of his shirt underneath his jersey. I remember 118 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 6: that because I thought it looked cool, and I did 119 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 6: it when I played basketball in seventh grade for a 120 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:49,600 Speaker 6: little while. 121 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,720 Speaker 5: It's kind of early days of like the Kobe sleeve, you. 122 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,479 Speaker 6: Know, yeah right right, Well, people were doing like sleeveless shirt. 123 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 6: So this is the first guy I saw it doing 124 00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:58,159 Speaker 6: one sleep. 125 00:06:58,640 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 9: I don't think I've ever seen that. 126 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,080 Speaker 8: It's kind of. 127 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 6: Nobody has he has. So I that guy heckles me. 128 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,919 Speaker 6: He has one shirt sleeve rolled up. So I pointed, 129 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 6: I'm gonna go, oh, Sunset Park over there like that joke, 130 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 6: and I didn't No one made the connection that one 131 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 6: kid in Sunset Park off. 132 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 2: That black guy. 133 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 6: Looks like an inner city basketball player. That came off, 134 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 6: and that was finally the whole crowd just goes okay. 135 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 5: Now they had something to sink their teeth into, right. 136 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 6: And I distinctly remember having some hearing a woman in 137 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 6: the front row say verbatim that white motherfucker's going to 138 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 6: get his ass. And the lady comes up, literally takes 139 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 6: the microphone out of my hands and walk off stage 140 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 6: and just went straight back to my dorm room and 141 00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 6: just like hit in my bed. 142 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 5: And that that ra is still your manager. 143 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:09,080 Speaker 3: It's to be fair. 144 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 5: She's gotten better at Cornell's gotten better. They're growing. 145 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 10: He did tour later with that gospel band that you 146 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 10: know they I have. 147 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 7: I I have a similar like they just stopped. They 148 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 7: just stopped me from doing comedy. That's the worst one 149 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 7: stopping there. We don't even finish your time what I 150 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 7: was in. 151 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 3: Uh. 152 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,199 Speaker 5: I went up to I went up. 153 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 7: To Alaska with Brooks for for Brits Wheelians like thirtieth birthday. 154 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,600 Speaker 7: We camped to like Denali and our way back down 155 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 7: to the airport, we stayed one night in this little 156 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 7: town called Talketna, which is like this little mountain toown 157 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 7: is really cute. It's like a real quirky little mountain town. 158 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:52,439 Speaker 7: Like there's a bar that like the manager is a cat, 159 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 7: you know, it's like one of. 160 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 5: These yeah, like the. 161 00:08:59,400 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 3: Beret. 162 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 5: I guess the cat doesn't like cursing and something. 163 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 7: Then when we went to that bar, they were like, oh, 164 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 7: you know if you if you curse it all, you're 165 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 7: kicked out immediately. And we were like, are you fucking serious? 166 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,080 Speaker 7: And then they kicked us out. Like so it was 167 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 7: a really quirky little town. And we go to this 168 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 7: one bar and they had an open mic and it 169 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 7: was just you know, like poetry, like singer songwriters. It's 170 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 7: a super little local open mic and Brookes. 171 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 2: Can do something stand up. 172 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 3: Yeah. 173 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 5: We're like, we're from La, let's shake this town up. 174 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 6: Yeah, like a small town Alaskan town loves more than. 175 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,679 Speaker 2: Slam bo tree and a singer songwriter. 176 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, the cat came out and did a trick. 177 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 7: He's like hard working, like blue collar, like lumberjacks are like, 178 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 7: what's this guy think about? 179 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 9: Airlines? 180 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,319 Speaker 7: So we signed up for the open mic and it 181 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,440 Speaker 7: was a pretty rowdy crowd and I go up and 182 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 7: I was doing this bit at the time that was 183 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 7: about ants eating my Like, giz, you're still doing. 184 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:10,440 Speaker 5: I haven't done it. I love doing it for a while. 185 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 8: It's it's pretty funny. 186 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's about ants to your ji. 187 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 7: Yeah, it was like back when I lived with like 188 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 7: like three guys like I like. 189 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 6: That. 190 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:27,559 Speaker 5: It's not important, but similar in a lot of ways, 191 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 5: drinking a lot of happier than Yeah, you're trying to 192 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 5: keep your roommates happy. And I just remember. 193 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 7: Apparently, but I just remember like like just ants going 194 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 7: after my little like jerk off towels like in the 195 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 7: in the trash. 196 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, I know it's gross. It's a gross bit, but 197 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 5: it's about these. 198 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 7: Ants, like me meeting like a nick ant hybrid doesn't matter. 199 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 1: It's a gross bit, like the ants eat your come 200 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: and then they have a little baby. 201 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, Like there's like a. 202 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:03,959 Speaker 5: Calm his father like that about this great act out. 203 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,960 Speaker 7: Okay, And so I jumped into my aunt seating my 204 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 7: cum stuff, and the crowd just turns like people. 205 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 2: Are like like what the hell? 206 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,839 Speaker 5: People were disgusted. And this is in the no cursing bar. No, No, 207 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 5: this was not I had no rule, but they have 208 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 5: one rule. 209 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 7: Took the bartender like screams out like you're done, and 210 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 7: then cuts the power to the microphone. And then the 211 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 7: host came up and like grabbed them and I was like, okay, cool. 212 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 7: And then and then Brooks went up and crushed really no, 213 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,199 Speaker 7: I don't remember what he did, but we we hung 214 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 7: out at the bar for like the rest of the night. 215 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,199 Speaker 8: That's that's brave. 216 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 5: Yeah, you just d didn't. 217 00:11:59,160 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 3: Fun. 218 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 5: They had the bell. 219 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 8: We couldn't go back to the cat bar. 220 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,320 Speaker 9: It was there was only two bars in town. 221 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 5: I wanted to learn my lesson. 222 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:09,600 Speaker 2: Because they had a bell. 223 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 7: They had a bell and if you rang the bell, 224 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,840 Speaker 7: if somebody rang the bell, that person had to buy 225 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 7: everybody in the bar a drink. So like there would 226 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 7: be like Brooks and I felt like we were like 227 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,320 Speaker 7: locals at this point, so like there'd be. 228 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 10: Like, you know, disgusted by everyone. 229 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 7: Hey, I'm tal keating a knick, not everyone. Because the 230 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 7: night ended up with like Brooks and I sitting at 231 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 7: the bar and this kind of buxome like mountain, like 232 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 7: a much older mountain woman had really taken a shining 233 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:42,640 Speaker 7: to me. 234 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 5: She really liked me. 235 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 8: She's like I like that kum talk. I don't care 236 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 8: what anybody said. 237 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,200 Speaker 5: I want to be one of those. 238 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 7: Baby, And so she was very aggressive and we were 239 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 7: like sitting at the bar and she was on the 240 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 7: other side of Brooks and we were like he was 241 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 7: like holding my hand behind Brooks. 242 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 5: And then I was just trying to like kind of 243 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 5: be nice and like, you know, be like I'm not 244 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 5: really interested. I'm good and somebody. 245 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 6: You're sitting in a seat there. 246 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,520 Speaker 7: On your date, Yeah, exactly, because I was trying to 247 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 7: be away from her, but she would like sneak her try, Yeah, 248 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,840 Speaker 7: she would. Well, she has a big, strong, lumberge lumber 249 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 7: Jane hand. She got this callous lumber Jane hand. So 250 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 7: she she does what she wants to. And so I 251 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 7: think she went to the bathroom and I was like 252 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 7: talking to somebody else and I was like, I just 253 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,559 Speaker 7: I don't I don't know what to do about this. 254 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 7: And the guy was like, seems like Dave's wife really 255 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:44,680 Speaker 7: likes she. 256 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,840 Speaker 8: Oh, yeah, Dave's. 257 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,440 Speaker 7: Wife and never got her name is Dave's wife. And 258 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 7: she kept saying, I just really wish you would walk 259 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,640 Speaker 7: me home, Like I'm only five minutes away. 260 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 5: If you walk me home, I'd really make him. 261 00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 3: Worth your while. 262 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,480 Speaker 2: God don't want to know. 263 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 7: Dave, did you ever catch you? No, no, nothing happened. 264 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 7: We just like, you know, I went home. We fucked 265 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 7: for a day's Uh no, nothing happened. We just baby 266 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 7: comes out at the end of the story. 267 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 2: You never saw. 268 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:18,440 Speaker 3: The son of a bitch. 269 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 5: You got my wife. 270 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 6: Dave's listening to this podcast right now, jumping up and 271 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 6: down on his cowboy hat. Dave's wife, you call that too. 272 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,840 Speaker 7: It felt like that's just kind of a thing she does. 273 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 7: And she, you know, she she seduces all the l 274 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 7: A comedians that come through. 275 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 5: Tell nobody. 276 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 7: Nobody was like, beware, that's Dave's wife. They're like, oh yeah, 277 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 7: Dave's wife. Like she she lives right down the road, 278 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 7: walk her home. It felt like that was just how 279 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 7: it works. They wanted to have you killed because because 280 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:50,880 Speaker 7: it comes to the way. 281 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 2: I love that you told the income story. And then 282 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 2: they were. 283 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 5: Like, fuck you get out here, I will say for 284 00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,080 Speaker 5: four more. 285 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 3: On to the bar. 286 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 7: And you were like, who's married here? 287 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 5: Do you know if she's. 288 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 8: Brooks stand right here? 289 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 3: Brother? 290 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,520 Speaker 9: Did you see your set? 291 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,720 Speaker 7: Do you know if Day's wife was there for I imagine 292 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 7: she was there wasn't a lot to like this guy. 293 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, I think she liked the gall you know. 294 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 9: Yeah, I feel like my story is nor near as 295 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 9: bad as these do. 296 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 5: But okay, here we go. 297 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 6: Oh wow, I've never I'm actually never. 298 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 10: I don't know why I'm here. I've never done that. 299 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 10: It was it was early on. I probably knew in 300 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 10: comedy like two years and I somehow got a gig. 301 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:43,640 Speaker 9: I forget the town name. 302 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 10: I really tried to look it up on Google Maps, 303 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 10: but I couldn't find it. Somewhere in central California, just 304 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 10: like a tiny town, and they were like, you can 305 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 10: do forty five minutes, right, I was like, your goddamn. 306 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 1: Right, it's going for three weeks. 307 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 9: Probably had like fifteen minutes maybe. 308 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:02,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. 309 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,600 Speaker 10: It was like it was like one local comic and 310 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,560 Speaker 10: then like just me, And it was like there wasn't 311 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 10: even like a host and the place is like packed 312 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 10: because it's one of those small towns where there's like 313 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 10: not a lot going on. It wasn't as charming as Telkeena. 314 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 10: It was just like pretty bleak, and like it was 315 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 10: like a place where like you you would see like 316 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,000 Speaker 10: a guy. It was like a place where there'd be 317 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,360 Speaker 10: like a fight at a thing and you would take 318 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,320 Speaker 10: like break a pool cube. 319 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 8: It was it was like a roadhouse. 320 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 9: It was like a rough bar. 321 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 6: It's like a bunch of Punisher logo. 322 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 10: I mean, there was definitely like biker dudes and it 323 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,080 Speaker 10: was like a very meth vibe. 324 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 9: And it was just like I drove up specifically for 325 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:45,520 Speaker 9: this show. 326 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 10: I booked it through like another comic or like, oh yeah, 327 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,480 Speaker 10: there's like this show you can do a. 328 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 9: Long and I was just like I want to do 329 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:51,280 Speaker 9: a long set. 330 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 10: No, it was north. It might have been Toulari. It 331 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 10: wasn't that areacked. It wasn't even that big. It was tiny. 332 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 10: It might have been too lare. And I just right 333 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,720 Speaker 10: off the bat, I'm just like eating ship. It's like yeah, no, 334 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,960 Speaker 10: it's like nothing's working. And like the guy before me, 335 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,040 Speaker 10: I think it was a local comic like ate it 336 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,399 Speaker 10: so bad that I was terrified. I was like, I 337 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 10: was like, why are these people even here? 338 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 3: Like that? 339 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 10: Do you want to be here? Like the entire town 340 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,919 Speaker 10: seemed like it was there. And like one of my 341 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 10: early bits was like a five minute chunk about Hitler and. 342 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:26,119 Speaker 5: His glies. 343 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,199 Speaker 10: I was just like, this is a bit like I 344 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:33,919 Speaker 10: just go into it and it is just like not 345 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 10: doing well. 346 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,119 Speaker 8: It was like one of them. 347 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 10: There's multiple parts, but one part is about like the 348 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,879 Speaker 10: Hitler family name was originally chickel Gruber and Hitler changed 349 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 10: it. It might have actually been his dad who changed it. 350 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,119 Speaker 10: And I was like the joke had something to do 351 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 10: with how like it would have been way funnier if 352 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 10: like he didn't change it, because like chickel Groover is 353 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,400 Speaker 10: such a fun name. 354 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, so Hitler is like his stage name. 355 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 10: Well it was like chicicle Grover was like a family 356 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 10: name with it and changed to Hitler. But I was 357 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 10: like it would have been he would have been more 358 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 10: deadly because no one would have taken him seriously. You know, 359 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,399 Speaker 10: you hear like, oh, Hitler's invaded pol and you're like, 360 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 10: oh my god, we got to do something. You hear 361 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,439 Speaker 10: like chicle Gruber has just invaded pol and you're like, 362 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 10: that fucking sounds hilarious. He's up to his old tricks 363 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 10: clowning friends. 364 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 8: As you can see, very solid joke. 365 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,000 Speaker 10: And I had like a bunch more shot I don't 366 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 10: even remember, but it was like a huge chunk and 367 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:29,399 Speaker 10: it was just not doing Get this is the only 368 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,119 Speaker 10: time someone's actually done this, because I feel like this 369 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,360 Speaker 10: only happens in movies when someone's getting heckled. 370 00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,640 Speaker 9: But like someone was literally like, you suck like. 371 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,359 Speaker 8: That never happens. 372 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 10: Usually hecklers are like too drunk and they're just talking loud. 373 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 9: But like I got like a full on you suck like. 374 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 5: A perfectly, and it was just like a dagger to 375 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 5: the herd. 376 00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 10: And then I was like, I was like, you know, 377 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 10: I'm floundering. I'm like, I'm just gonna go into crowd work. 378 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,879 Speaker 10: So I start talking to these guys and like somehow 379 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 10: we started talking about meth because I think there was 380 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,360 Speaker 10: like a it was. 381 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 9: Like a meth type of vibe. 382 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,560 Speaker 10: Yeah, and I like kind of I kind of got 383 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,000 Speaker 10: a few laughs, like making fun of the town down 384 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:08,360 Speaker 10: the road. 385 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,440 Speaker 9: I was like, what are you doing a small town? 386 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 9: You sit on the next small town. 387 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 10: I was like, I bet that town fucking smokes way 388 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 10: more math, you know. 389 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,160 Speaker 9: But and then someone was like, we actually smoked more math. 390 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 8: Proud of man. 391 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 10: I was like, oh, I mean, you guys, this is 392 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 10: the math town. 393 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 8: Springfield was like. 394 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,160 Speaker 5: Towns trying their hardest coming. 395 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,120 Speaker 8: From you show fucking sweating. 396 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 10: I remember At one point there was like a stuffed 397 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,880 Speaker 10: bear and I like went into a riff about how 398 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,840 Speaker 10: like the bear was the mayor of the town and 399 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,880 Speaker 10: like they did not love that. And then I think 400 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 10: I just started getting more drunk on stage and I 401 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 10: just like did crowd work for the rest of the time. 402 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,480 Speaker 10: But like it was bad. There was definitely like biker dudes. 403 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 10: I was like, these guys are gonna like beat the 404 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 10: shit out of me. I'm like making fun of their town. 405 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 10: You know, they all kind of came together over. 406 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 9: The med stuff. So you know, at least I had 407 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 9: that silver lining. 408 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:21,120 Speaker 11: You got them with a Recondrey, with a Condrey. 409 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,199 Speaker 2: Okay, so we got our bombing stories. What were the 410 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 2: other two parts of my podcast? Quick? 411 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,639 Speaker 1: Oh, the worst bob you've ever witnessed in public? Like 412 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:36,400 Speaker 1: people getting bottles thrown at them on stage, or they just. 413 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,680 Speaker 9: Get segue into Nick's other stories. 414 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 2: Humble. 415 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I don't. Well, let's transition into that later. 416 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 8: I do have. 417 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 1: A quick trying to get out of here tomorrow. Well 418 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,440 Speaker 1: I have well, what is this humble story? 419 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,440 Speaker 7: So Cornell run a festival up and Humble at Savage 420 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 7: Henry Comedy Club. 421 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:04,040 Speaker 2: It's great. 422 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:04,880 Speaker 5: Every year. 423 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 7: It's super fun, super chill. It was one of the 424 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,720 Speaker 7: first times I had gone up there, maybe the second 425 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 7: time i'd gone up there for the festival, and it 426 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,919 Speaker 7: was the final show of the weekend. It was the 427 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 7: big like headliner show, right, this huge, beautiful venue, beautiful 428 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 7: like theater. And so they decided to like book like 429 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,320 Speaker 7: thirty comics on the show. 430 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 6: Guy, I don't run it. 431 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 5: I don't know story. Yeah you don't run it, but 432 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 5: you're a big part of the scene up there. 433 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 12: And yeah with the comics you deal the drugs else 434 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 12: from our listener. 435 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 6: But you know the guys, the guys who run it. 436 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,879 Speaker 6: It was like the first time putting any of this 437 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 6: ship together. I didn't really understand. 438 00:21:56,119 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 1: You always say thirty comics or nothing. Yeah, comic comedy 439 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 1: gets at the three hour mark, warming up the crowd. 440 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 6: Literally every show was at least two and a half hour. 441 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:08,560 Speaker 2: It was ridiculous. 442 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 6: It's like buy a bracelet for the whole weekend. They 443 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 6: go to one show like. 444 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 2: Comedy. 445 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,320 Speaker 6: I never want to see comedy again. It's like all 446 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:20,359 Speaker 6: your favorite comics from tilarryo yea. 447 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 5: And check it out. Dave's wife is in the lobby. 448 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 8: Do not walk her home. 449 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,360 Speaker 7: So we so it was like all of our comedy 450 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 7: buddies and we all had we all were like, on 451 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,120 Speaker 7: this show is the last like blowout night of the festival. 452 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,160 Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a old movie theater too. Was really cool 453 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 6: on stage in front of the big screen. 454 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 7: With like like there's what are those things called like 455 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:51,919 Speaker 7: where they shot Lincoln There's like yeah, yeah, Like it 456 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:52,640 Speaker 7: was just really cool. 457 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 5: It's a really beautiful venue. 458 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 7: Lincoln Murder vibes, Yeah, and uh, somebody had cocaine and 459 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 7: so we're like, let's do a little bit of cocaine 460 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 7: before our set. We'll go up there like Richard pryor, 461 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 7: you know, we'll just have a good time on stage. 462 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 7: But the show is like three and a half hours long, 463 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,439 Speaker 7: and when you do a little bit of cocaine, you 464 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:12,440 Speaker 7: want to do a little more. 465 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:13,480 Speaker 3: Yeah. 466 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,400 Speaker 6: That other is my home town. My mom's in the island, step. 467 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 5: Grandma, Grandma, grandma's there, everybody's there. It's a big day. 468 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 5: We're in this like attic space. 469 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, because you go behind the screen and everyone's 470 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,800 Speaker 6: like kind of hanging out back there as a green room. 471 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,479 Speaker 6: But then Nick, Carl and I find this ladder up 472 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,159 Speaker 6: to a mystery at it, just like. 473 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 7: A blare Witch projects like Addic that was like dusty 474 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 7: and chalky, and so we're like that's where we're go 475 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,400 Speaker 7: do our drugs, and we go and we just keep 476 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,199 Speaker 7: doing cocaine and we're like go down and check them 477 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 7: with the host, like am I up next? 478 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 5: And be like yeah, nine more comments? Okay, great, Well 479 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:58,679 Speaker 5: I guess yeah, And I remember I think I was last. 480 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 5: I don't I might have been last headline and I 481 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 5: don't think. I don't. 482 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,960 Speaker 7: I don't know what we were doing, but I was 483 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 7: like so like numb mouthed, like something like clenching my teeth, 484 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,120 Speaker 7: and I'm trying to get through this like already miserable. 485 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,160 Speaker 9: Show, like a full mental breakdown on stage. 486 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,320 Speaker 5: I definitely I've. 487 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 9: Really never seen anything. 488 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 2: Wait what happened? 489 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,320 Speaker 7: I mean, I just was like the place was packed, 490 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 7: but of course people trickled out because it was going 491 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,840 Speaker 7: on way too long, so there's nobody there. 492 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 6: There are fucking exhaust exactly the other commedia. 493 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 5: I hate comedy. At this point, next doing. 494 00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,240 Speaker 9: The cum joking front Cornell's grandmother. 495 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,880 Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm screaming about my and how you get on stage? 496 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,359 Speaker 7: I can't on stage, and I'm like, I can't even speak, 497 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,600 Speaker 7: man Like, I was so like cracked down. 498 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 2: Tell them you were coked up, audience. 499 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,960 Speaker 5: I want to say that was my I think. 500 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,160 Speaker 6: My cover there. I think my mom was like, Oh, 501 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,679 Speaker 6: that's why Corner was acting so. 502 00:24:58,680 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 9: Put together. 503 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 5: We usually bulge that much. 504 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:03,919 Speaker 6: He was a bit bulge. 505 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,639 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm gripping the mic and it shattered in my hand. 506 00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:11,800 Speaker 8: So you did. 507 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 10: You could have done like like ten fifteen and just 508 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,119 Speaker 10: gotten out of there like a mercy, but you you 509 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,480 Speaker 10: did like forty headline. 510 00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 7: Also, if you remember an Hour four, oh you brought 511 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,320 Speaker 7: him over into Tomorrow. I remember like Andre Hyland performed 512 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,879 Speaker 7: in that show too, and he had this like video 513 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,360 Speaker 7: of like this was. 514 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:34,720 Speaker 5: Like a bomb. 515 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 9: I would love to watch this said on this video 516 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:38,800 Speaker 9: was like it's just like a. 517 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,360 Speaker 5: Different horse a c g I horse horse. 518 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:42,199 Speaker 2: Have you seen it? 519 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 3: Yeah? 520 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,639 Speaker 7: It was also did not go below, so he said 521 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 7: set the tone, and I was like, I need some chemical. 522 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:50,880 Speaker 9: Influence to get these guys back. 523 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,359 Speaker 8: I love horses and I love come. 524 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:53,920 Speaker 9: That's a good idea for a joke. 525 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,040 Speaker 2: God, it was a nightmare. So were you just like. 526 00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,679 Speaker 7: It's just like you couldn't even like talk bo I 527 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 7: did some cocaine in the back three hours. 528 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,520 Speaker 8: I was like, I've been in the attic doing. 529 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 7: Cod for hours, people like just NY nine one one 530 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 7: and hovering the finger over sand. 531 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:21,800 Speaker 5: You learned a lot. 532 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: That Is that the most wasted you've ever been on stage? 533 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:29,159 Speaker 3: Would you say? 534 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:33,160 Speaker 7: Oh, yeah, definitely, definitely, for surely. I'm sure I've been 535 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 7: like Drunker on stage because I was crystal clear. 536 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:56,880 Speaker 3: With aeric codre. With aeric codre. 537 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 7: My worst like other people bombing story was the very 538 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,439 Speaker 7: very first time I did any open mic and I 539 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 7: went to the Haha Cafe in North Hollyway. 540 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I got some nightmare stories. 541 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:13,440 Speaker 7: From I had my my really good friend Brandy was 542 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 7: the only one who came to support me, which was 543 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 7: fine singer or the singer, no, the beverage, and so 544 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,159 Speaker 7: I was, you know, I was like fortieth in the 545 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 7: fucking lineup or whatever, and it started packed and then 546 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 7: it just kind of get in like people left and 547 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,720 Speaker 7: people left, and I was like very very late in 548 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,439 Speaker 7: the show and right before I go up, it was 549 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,520 Speaker 7: probably like half full at this point. Right before I 550 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,399 Speaker 7: go up, this guy comes on stage and brings up 551 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 7: like a real dog and takes out like a gun. 552 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,199 Speaker 7: There's a toy gun, but brought out a gun and 553 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,440 Speaker 7: holds it to the dog's head and says, if you 554 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 7: guys don't laugh at my jokes, I'll shoot this. 555 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,359 Speaker 5: It's a fucking hack lampoon bit. 556 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 9: And lastic national lampoon thing if you don't come to 557 00:27:59,240 --> 00:27:59,560 Speaker 9: this movie. 558 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,199 Speaker 7: But it was an awful bit, and they walked the 559 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 7: entire crowd. The entire crowd left. He did shitty four 560 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,320 Speaker 7: minutes of comedy and then it was just me my 561 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,640 Speaker 7: friend Brandy, and like the next comic was in the room, 562 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 7: and I went on stage did my three minutes, and 563 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,600 Speaker 7: she laughed loud and hard enough that I was like, 564 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,879 Speaker 7: I'm going to do this for the rest. 565 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,879 Speaker 2: Of Thanks, Brandy, better than. 566 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,360 Speaker 8: You're my favorite singer. 567 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:27,680 Speaker 2: Dude. 568 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:31,960 Speaker 1: Julie Ashton, who's a casting director, very lovely casting it 569 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: was always. 570 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,879 Speaker 2: Very sweet to me early on when I didn't know 571 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:36,680 Speaker 2: what the fuck I was doing. 572 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 1: I asked her one time, what was the worst, what's 573 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 1: the worst audition you've ever experienced? You've seen like a 574 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 1: billion actors come through your your casting studio, Like, what's 575 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,520 Speaker 1: the worst, what's the worst you've ever experienced? 576 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 2: She goes. 577 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 1: A guy pulled out a gun during an audition, a 578 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: real gun, a loaded gun, because there was a gun 579 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 1: in the scene. He was like a villain in the 580 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,960 Speaker 1: you know, some drama. 581 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:01,440 Speaker 5: To bring a gun today. 582 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,680 Speaker 1: Pulled out the gun and aimed it at her and 583 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 1: like did the scene and she was like. 584 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 6: Okay, thanks for coming in. 585 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:14,720 Speaker 5: Christ worked, It worked, Lauren. 586 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 6: There was this comic who did open mics back in 587 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,760 Speaker 6: the day, and he would always bomb, but I thought 588 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 6: he was the funniest man in the world. He went 589 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 6: by the name gay Lord Dingler. 590 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 5: Already laughing already. 591 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,120 Speaker 2: That was Hitler's original. 592 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 6: End of the show, kay Lord Dingler. And he would 593 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 6: always he'd just be sitting out in front of an 594 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,400 Speaker 6: open mic, just sitting on the ground, drinking of forty 595 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 6: of mickeys before the started, and he would go up 596 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,640 Speaker 6: and he had the same act every single time. You 597 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,880 Speaker 6: know those crazy guys who just do open mics and 598 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,760 Speaker 6: they'd never change a fucking word verbatim. 599 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 5: He's one of those guys. 600 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:08,200 Speaker 6: And every time he would just bomb at these crazy, 601 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:12,600 Speaker 6: weird open mics and I would be dying laughing. The 602 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:17,080 Speaker 6: only joke of his I really remember it was he 603 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:21,920 Speaker 6: had remember two jokes. One joke he go, he go, uh, 604 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 6: you know, I open up the newspaper and I see 605 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,400 Speaker 6: all these these ads for garage sales. 606 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:27,240 Speaker 5: Garage sales. 607 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,840 Speaker 6: Yeah, but uh, you know, I've been driving around with 608 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 6: my dog and he hasn't seen one garage for sale. 609 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,760 Speaker 6: It always involved his dog for some reason. 610 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 2: I don't know. 611 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 6: That. The other joke, he yeah, he goes, this was 612 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 6: this was my favorite one. He goes, Yeah, this woman 613 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 6: was working at a gym. She lost thirty pounds in 614 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 6: one day. Yeah, can you believe it? Thirty pounds in 615 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 6: one day? Yeah, a machine ripped her leg off. 616 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 7: On that gun shooting guy, the gun and dog guy. 617 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 7: I saw him like months later at the cafe and 618 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:20,520 Speaker 7: I was like. 619 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:21,400 Speaker 8: Where's your dog? 620 00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:22,800 Speaker 5: He goes, He's like. 621 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:31,680 Speaker 7: I did nobody, and he had he now had complete 622 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,800 Speaker 7: like huge fake veneers, like the masks, and they were 623 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,800 Speaker 7: like poppins. They were like dentally, like a dentist installed them. 624 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 7: And he was wearing a suit and he was like, 625 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,080 Speaker 7: I'm working on my new bit and I was like, oh, 626 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 7: cool man, what is it? And then he pants himself 627 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,080 Speaker 7: and he had sewn out of like nylon and like 628 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 7: flesh colored threads, photorealistic stuffed penis. This was like outside 629 00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 7: of the comedy club. He was like, you got to 630 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,000 Speaker 7: I'm going on the later show. You got to check 631 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,240 Speaker 7: my bit out. I was like, what is it? And 632 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,160 Speaker 7: then he just exposed himself. But it's not exposing if 633 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,160 Speaker 7: it's not real, but it is kind of exposing if 634 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,120 Speaker 7: you can't tell it's not real. So his bit was 635 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 7: having crazy mask teeth and just showing his dick to. 636 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:18,160 Speaker 9: The crows better than a dog. 637 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:19,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean it is a step up. 638 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 9: Everybody's got their journey. 639 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,120 Speaker 10: I used to work at this bar in Venice and 640 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,040 Speaker 10: I was like just starting stand up. So we found 641 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:28,320 Speaker 10: out there was gonna be a stand It was like 642 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 10: a music though there was never any stand up there. 643 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,840 Speaker 10: We found there's gonna be a stand up night, and 644 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,240 Speaker 10: it was like Howard Stern guys, but not like the 645 00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:39,080 Speaker 10: A tier. It was like sal the stockbrokers, like Jim 646 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 10: Florentine Scream and Cindy. I forget who it was, but 647 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,200 Speaker 10: one guy closed his set by bringing a woman on 648 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:50,120 Speaker 10: stage and pouring ranch dressing into her ass crack and 649 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:51,560 Speaker 10: then licking it out of her whole. 650 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,640 Speaker 8: He had multiple women who. 651 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 9: Wanted to get on stand WHOA And I was like, 652 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 9: that's a. 653 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 5: Ranch pioneer right there. 654 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 3: Like I was. 655 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,080 Speaker 8: Literally like people were like big me, big man. 656 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 10: It's like, I guess this is like a thing, but wow, 657 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 10: I was like, that's a closer. 658 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 1: Any other any other fucking things. This is a great 659 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 1: this is phenomenal, fantastic. Yeah, I'm surprised that you're wasted. 660 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 1: Stories weren't that. 661 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,080 Speaker 5: I got to think crazy. 662 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,880 Speaker 2: I got the three of you. I think you guys 663 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,160 Speaker 2: have been so often wasted on stage. 664 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:26,280 Speaker 1: It's kind of like normally you're like, yeah, whatever, it's 665 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 1: called Thursday, my man, you know you're gonna be like 666 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,160 Speaker 1: I dropped ten hits of acid in my eye and and. 667 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:34,680 Speaker 2: Board on stage. 668 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,959 Speaker 5: The stage is precious, man, that's a precious space. 669 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 9: Is a temple. 670 00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 5: Yeah you don't. You don't. 671 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,040 Speaker 6: And it's not so funny of a story of it 672 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,160 Speaker 6: was like, I've been getting drunk on stage for fifteen 673 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,080 Speaker 6: years and it's probably be successful. 674 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,720 Speaker 9: That's not really a story so much. 675 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:52,960 Speaker 5: As I've wasted my life. I can't face the audience 676 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:53,440 Speaker 5: unless I. 677 00:33:53,920 --> 00:34:01,320 Speaker 6: Myself my life. I've days away from giving it all up. 678 00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,520 Speaker 7: But it is interesting. That's like, why you put us 679 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:08,520 Speaker 7: on the podcast. He's they're gonna have it once. I 680 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,480 Speaker 7: ship myself and suck my own dick. 681 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,560 Speaker 9: That was my closer for most of the early two thousands. 682 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,080 Speaker 2: All right, thank you, gentlemen. 683 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:22,480 Speaker 1: I'll probably see you guys, like in a few hours, 684 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:24,960 Speaker 1: like best vision or something like that. 685 00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:29,839 Speaker 2: Ye bye, guys, Thank you Bye. 686 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 3: With Ericdre. 687 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:35,439 Speaker 1: Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will 688 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:38,000 Speaker 1: Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. 689 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:39,560 Speaker 2: It is executive produced by. 690 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 1: The handsome Hansani, the wickedly talented Olivia Aguilar, edited and 691 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 1: sound designed by the stupendous Andy Harris, and are artist 692 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 1: by the genius still in Vanderberg. 693 00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:53,920 Speaker 2: I want to thank the four of them very much. 694 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:55,959 Speaker 1: If you want to confess to your own bombing moments 695 00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:57,680 Speaker 1: or give us a shout out, go rate us five 696 00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:59,799 Speaker 1: stars and drop a review on your podcast app of 697 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 1: write about your own stories of bombing at life. If 698 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,040 Speaker 1: you're on Apple Podcasts, you can also subscribe to Big 699 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 1: Money Players Diamond to get exclusive bonus content with every 700 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,920 Speaker 1: episode and listen to all my episodes ad free. The 701 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 1: guests I'm Bombing with Eric Andre were recorded before the 702 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,320 Speaker 1: SAG after strike bye,