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Speaker 1: It's the spring Ultimate Frisbee Championships. Wanting to the field,

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Speaker 1: the visiting Jefferson High did weeds and starting center, disappointed

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Speaker 1: for our Brewster high touch jobs. It's our own Brady Prewsterer. Hey, Brady,

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Speaker 1: you're ready to play some frisbee. I'll do the catching

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Speaker 1: and I'll do the throwing as cool as I would say,

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, high five? Who uh? You don't have to

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Speaker 1: say high five every time you want to high five.

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Speaker 1: It was obvious when you lifted your hand in the air. Sorry, Brady,

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Speaker 1: I'll do better next time. Picture the perfect high school.

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Speaker 1: Now frame that picture and hang it on the wall.

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Speaker 1: You have what I like to call perspective. Who's in

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Speaker 1: your picture? In mine? There was Brady. Brady Brewster was perfect, confident, kind, intelligent,

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Speaker 1: damn good looking. So I wouldn't mind if his ears

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Speaker 1: were a little bigger. That makes his head look like

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Speaker 1: a pumpkin. But you forgot all about it when you

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Speaker 1: saw him on the field, the frisbee field, because Brady

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Speaker 1: Brewster was the best ultimate frisbee player that Brewster High

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Speaker 1: had ever seen or heard. Here's the here's the beat.

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Speaker 1: Nice Brady was small town royalty. His family founded this

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Speaker 1: town when hundred years ago to build their business, Brewster

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Speaker 1: Bruis Brewery. Watching Brady play the all American sport of

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Speaker 1: frisbee was like watching the life you wanted to have,

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Speaker 1: like watching the top half of below deck. But mostly

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Speaker 1: it was like watching him play frisbee. How you here?

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Speaker 1: Here's the beat? Here's the beat? Nice frisbee, asked me. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: just brisbee, frisbeebe frisbee body. Brewster high star frisbee player

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Speaker 1: has been horrifically injured in an unexpected tackle. Please enjoy

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Speaker 1: this whimsical song while they removed his body. Are you

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Speaker 1: stop boring me? More? Why wasn't anyone covering Brady that day?

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Speaker 1: Where it was Hide, Brady's best friend and teammate. If

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Speaker 1: Brady was the handler, Hide was the cutter. Those are

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Speaker 1: actual frisbee positions. I looked them up. Nothing and no

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Speaker 1: one was what it seemed. Nothing and no one was

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Speaker 1: what it seemed based on what there's no evidence for

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Speaker 1: any of that. Usually school newspaper articles more, you know facts.

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Speaker 1: I was in the school newspaper classroom reading a draft

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Speaker 1: of my article to my journalism teacher, Otis Nelson. I

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Speaker 1: know that Clara, I'm sitting right in front of you.

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Speaker 1: Are you putting that sentence in your article too? I

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Speaker 1: think there's something fishy about the hit Brady Brewster took

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Speaker 1: during the Frisbee game. He sent you there to cover

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Speaker 1: the new snacks at the concession stand. What's to cover her?

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Speaker 1: They brought snow caps back, Clara, we could do a

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Speaker 1: thousand words just on that. I'm tired of the candy beat.

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Speaker 1: I want to be a brass balls investigative reporter. Oh listen, Clara,

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Speaker 1: I know got your reporter, Band Dirtner, and he is miserable.

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Speaker 1: And I'm high school history and journalism teacher, so I

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Speaker 1: know miserable. Trust me, kid, give up on this dream

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Speaker 1: now before it's too late. No way, Local TV News gotcha,

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Speaker 1: reporter Ban Dirtner didn't give up, and neither will I.

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Speaker 1: It's like you need to get out of your system. Alright, Well,

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Speaker 1: you've got a week to bring me anything interesting about

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Speaker 1: Brady's injury. But that's in addition to three columns on

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Speaker 1: snow caps. I'm already working on my follow up article.

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Speaker 1: It starts like this. The next day at school, everyone

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Speaker 1: was dealing with the fallout from Brady's injury, take Brid,

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Speaker 1: his ex girlfriend, and his teammate and best friend Hide.

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Speaker 1: Are you actually able to see in the future? Are

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Speaker 1: you just making the ship up? Good morning? Before the

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Speaker 1: customary morning announced man, I like to remind everyone that

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Speaker 1: we are currently in the halls of Brewster High School,

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Speaker 1: the morning after the ultimate frisbee game in which Brady

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Speaker 1: Brewster got injured. In fact, his friends Hide and Brid

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Speaker 1: are probably walking to class together right now. Hey, Hide,

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Speaker 1: I'm still pretty shocked about what happened to Brady yesterday.

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Speaker 1: Do you know how he's doing. That's a good question, Britt,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you asked. They say Brady's left wrist might

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Speaker 1: possibly have slightly reduced flexibility for months, so every time

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Speaker 1: he wants to check his watch, or peel banana or

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Speaker 1: stroke his dick. Yeah, that's awful. Don't blame yourself, Hide, Um,

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Speaker 1: I didn't switching gears. It's the big auction party at

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Speaker 1: my house tonight. Can you remind me again? Why are

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Speaker 1: the auctioning off your house and all your ship? Remember

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Speaker 1: what happened with my dad? Everybody boy cutted his mumper

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Speaker 1: sticker shop and it went out of business because of

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Speaker 1: that thing. That happened with a go out. That thing

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Speaker 1: at the zoo, Ah, that thing at the zoo. Let's

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Speaker 1: make sure to talk about that with more specificity later.

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Speaker 1: Now I'll need to get a job. Can you think

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Speaker 1: we'll buy your house? The most annoying kid school? Here

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Speaker 1: he comes? Now, what's that? What is that odor? My pores?

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Speaker 1: It's just a harmless bacteria that lives in my skin

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Speaker 1: and feeds off my sweat. So looking forward to taking

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Speaker 1: possession of your house at midnight tonight, Brent. I think

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Speaker 1: I'll use your old bedroom to showcase my Fedora collection.

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Speaker 1: One of them is from Barcelona. Where did you get

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Speaker 1: the money to afford a house, Jeff? Didn't your pizza

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Speaker 1: restaurant go out of business when everyone who ate there

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Speaker 1: got diarrhea? Diarrhea like a fox. I also bought a

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Speaker 1: diarrhea medicine company. The diarrhea might have been the razor,

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Speaker 1: but the medicine was the razor blades. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: everything's broken, guy? What's up? Careful? You're gonna knock off

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Speaker 1: the trunchet. Clara, get over your Brady's back? Oh Brady,

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Speaker 1: how's your body? Pretty messed up? I'm still trying to

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Speaker 1: get the hang of these crutches art, let me help you. Thanks.

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Speaker 1: You know, Clara, I get this feeling that there's something

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Speaker 1: wonky about our frisbee games, like there's something much bigger

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Speaker 1: going on. Oh shoot, sorry, I got to Well, maybe

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Speaker 1: it'll make for an interesting story someday. You A wait,

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Speaker 1: we're all just stories. A reporter wouldn't know that better

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Speaker 1: than anyone, you son of a bitch. Now you're doing

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Speaker 1: it on purpose. Paragraph to that night at Brind's house.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, Everything up to now has just been one paragraph.

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Speaker 1: That's an unconventional writing staff for school newspaper. Clara, and

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Speaker 1: I should know. I am your journalism teacher. Get used

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Speaker 1: to it, Mr Nelson. US kids only know how to

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Speaker 1: communicate by text. You're lucky I give you any sentence

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Speaker 1: structure at all. As long as you're in my newspaper classroom,

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Speaker 1: you will keep your paragraphs to six sentences or less.

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Speaker 1: As I was saying, paragraph three. The estate auction at

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Speaker 1: Brent's house was that night, with Geffen as the auctioneer.

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Speaker 1: Next up for auction is Brian's baby shoes and her

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Speaker 1: hair from her first haircuts, being we'll start at twelve

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Speaker 1: D Do I hear und do I heart hundred and

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Speaker 1: fifty dollars sold for fourteen hundred and fifty dollars. Congratulations, Hide,

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Speaker 1: thank you. What are you going to do with my hair?

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Speaker 1: I didn't even really want it. I just like winning.

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Speaker 1: Next up, we have every book brand was supposed to

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Speaker 1: read in ninth grade but didn't. All of these books

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Speaker 1: are guaranteed to reflect limited points of view from a

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Speaker 1: narrow Western mindset. These titles include The Jane Eyre, Lord

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Speaker 1: of the Flies, The Catcher in the Rye, Little Women,

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Speaker 1: and The Old Man in the Sea. Do you have

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Speaker 1: two hundred dollars to put these books on your very

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Speaker 1: own bookshelf and not read them either? I have two

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Speaker 1: hundred from that young woman in the back. You know

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Speaker 1: my name, Geffen. Do I hear to fifty? Sorry, I've

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Speaker 1: got to take this call. Do I hear to fifty

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Speaker 1: nine hundred? This is Clara, Clara, It's Brady. Are you

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Speaker 1: at brinspor Closure party yet? Yeah? I'm in the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: Where are you the tennis court? Which one the clay

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Speaker 1: court or the cement court. I'm not sure. Let me

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Speaker 1: try to serve and see cement. It wasn't as much

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Speaker 1: top spin as there usually is come find me at

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Speaker 1: the tennis court. No one can know I'm here. It's

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Speaker 1: vitally important. Grady out, Oh hey, where Dexter? A member

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Speaker 1: of our friend group? Why aren't you inside with your

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Speaker 1: boyfriend Hid, also a member of our friend group. I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to find a gazebo so I can smoke some

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Speaker 1: clothes cigarettes. This property is huge. I'm trying to find

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Speaker 1: the tennis court. Which one clay are grass? Neither cement?

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Speaker 1: I don't know that one. Well, good luck, Britt, Just

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Speaker 1: who I was looking for? Where exactly is your cement

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Speaker 1: tennis court? It's not going to be mine after tonight. Clara, right,

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Speaker 1: you're losing everything. But after all, your dad did shoot

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Speaker 1: the most up Koala at the Brewster Bay Zoo. Would

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Speaker 1: it have been better if you shot the other Koala?

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Speaker 1: The one everyone thinks it's a dick? Guns don't kill

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Speaker 1: Koala's brand. People kill Koala's or often dingoes. But if

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Speaker 1: you're looking for an apology for me, then here it comes.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, and I promised to make it up to

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Speaker 1: you with these off coupons from bed Bath and Beyond. WHOA,

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Speaker 1: don't get too excited. They only applied to one item

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Speaker 1: purpurchase anyway that tennis court. It's about twenty ft that direction.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, there it is. I guess I'll just walk

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Speaker 1: that direction. Ready, ready, ready, huh. I'll try calling him. Hey,

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Speaker 1: it's Brady Brewster here. Leave a message after the tone

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Speaker 1: just kidding, here's the real tone. Where is Brady? Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, his crutches lying here on the tennis court.

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Speaker 1: But Brady can't walk anywhere without his crutches. That means

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Speaker 1: that someone must have brought an identical pair of crutches

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Speaker 1: and placed them here to confuse me. May I have

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Speaker 1: your attention. It's Monday morning. Welcome back to Brewster High.

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Speaker 1: Class is about to be game. That's pretty much all

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Speaker 1: you need to know. You come in a class brand

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Speaker 1: it's home economics, and you know miss Bagley does not

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Speaker 1: play about people being late. I know I'll see you

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Speaker 1: in there. I just have to run to the bathroom

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Speaker 1: to freshen up. I hope I don't run into any

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Speaker 1: wild animals while I'm in the bathroom. Attention Brewster High.

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Speaker 1: I forgot to mention that wild wolves are allowed to

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Speaker 1: roam free at the school, as brit is about to

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Speaker 1: find out firsthand. So I guess there was more you

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Speaker 1: needed to do. Oh my god, Principal fair Weather, Bran,

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Speaker 1: are you okay? A wolf just attacked me in the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: Why does the school at wolves to wander freely around campus?

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Speaker 1: I don't like it either, but the schools safer with

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Speaker 1: the wolves. It's a classic case of the lesser of

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Speaker 1: two evils. What's the other evil? Bears? Bears are the

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Speaker 1: other evil? We don't have bears around here because of

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Speaker 1: the wolves. What can we do to convince you to

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Speaker 1: get rid of them? Think of your civics class, Brian.

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Speaker 1: When the whole population wants something, how do the effect

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Speaker 1: change by voting you wish? Then? How about if I

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Speaker 1: write an angry op ed in the school newspaper. I

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Speaker 1: control the newspaper. So something to do with a flash mob.

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna give it to you. It's protests. You

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Speaker 1: can stage a protest a protest, got it? Thanks, Principal

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Speaker 1: fair Weather. Be careful what you wish for. I just

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Speaker 1: might do that. I didn't actually wish for that, did

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Speaker 1: I What secret did Brady want to tell me on

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Speaker 1: the tennis court last night? Did he just want to

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Speaker 1: make out? And why were his crushes there, and he

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Speaker 1: did want to make out right? Are you still reading

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Speaker 1: your article to me? I thought you were done? How

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Speaker 1: could I be on with this article already? Mr Nelson?

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Speaker 1: There is still so much left unanswered. I lit a

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Speaker 1: bunch of fuses, but none of them have paid off yet.

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Speaker 1: Starting with where's Brady Brewster? No one has seen him

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Speaker 1: all day? And what about Brian? You want excitement, She's

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Speaker 1: about to go for a job interview to be a

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Speaker 1: part time school janitor. Anything could happen. Good morning, Brewster High.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy that we have feral wolves roaming the halls

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Speaker 1: at school, Like, what is this the late Pleiosocene period? Also,

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Speaker 1: Brand's interviewing for a job with the head janitor. Let's

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Speaker 1: get back to the job interview. You think you got

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Speaker 1: what it takes to join the Brewster High Cristorial staff.

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Speaker 1: I really do. I know my father has a bad reputation,

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Speaker 1: but it was just one misjudgment. I'm not my father.

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Speaker 1: He killed the most beloved animal at the zoo. That's

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Speaker 1: a pretty major misjudgment. How do I know that kind

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Speaker 1: of misjudgment? All is um doesn't run in the family.

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Speaker 1: Try me out. I'll be the best janitor you've ever

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Speaker 1: seen or heard. All right, fine, Frank just died, so

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Speaker 1: we do have an open spot, and you're about the

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Speaker 1: same size, so you can fit in his uniform. Welcome

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Speaker 1: to the student Janitor Work Study program Ms Mariskino. You

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Speaker 1: just joined a very exclusive club. Well as Groutcha Mark said,

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Speaker 1: I would never want to be a member of any

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Speaker 1: club that would have me. But what if it's a

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Speaker 1: club comprised of only very happy, fulfilled people. You got

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Speaker 1: a lot to learn, Ms, Mariskino, and your education starts today. Easy.

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Speaker 1: Your keys guard them with your life, right, what do

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Speaker 1: they all? Do? You really only need this one. It's

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Speaker 1: the master. The rest are just for show. I have

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Speaker 1: a question. Did you wash the uniform or did I

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Speaker 1: wash it? In? It? Right? Well, he drowned in the

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Speaker 1: mop water, so it had open it. Attention Brewster High students,

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Speaker 1: please report to your third period classroom if you have

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Speaker 1: Hall Mack. Your teacher is Mrs Bagley, who is the

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Speaker 1: wife of Coach Bagley. As you could guess by her

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Speaker 1: last name, I mean Dogsted next to Row. All right, everybody,

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Speaker 1: let's quiet down before we get into a discussion about

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Speaker 1: chapter seventeen. I want to talk to you for a

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Speaker 1: moment about your secret plan to walk out of this

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Speaker 1: class this afternoon and protest the wolf population the school protects.

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Speaker 1: And here's the thing, Principal Fairweather seems to think we

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Speaker 1: should let you have your little demonstration, But I'd like

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Speaker 1: you to consider both sides of this issue. Some of

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Speaker 1: us think wolves are dangerous. Life is dangerous. We can't

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Speaker 1: stop going to school or bungee jumping or test piloting

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Speaker 1: jet packs just because we're scared. We're not saying to

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Speaker 1: close the school. We're saying to get rid of the wolves.

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Speaker 1: Remember a year ago, when the local deer population was

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Speaker 1: out of control, it was chaos. The only logical measure

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Speaker 1: was to introduce wolves back into their ancestral hunting grounds.

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Speaker 1: And ever since, no more dear or rabbits, or puppies

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Speaker 1: or kittens or my baby also is eaten in Principal

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Speaker 1: fair Weather coming in, Sorry to interrupt, students, it's come

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Speaker 1: to my attention that rumors are spreading about Brady Brewster.

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Speaker 1: Nothing good can come from baseless speculation. Just give Brady

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Speaker 1: some space and time and find someone else to gossip about.

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Speaker 1: Then tell us where he is. I'm not at liberty

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Speaker 1: to share that information. Wait, you're not telling us something.

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Speaker 1: Exactly what are you hiding us? That chance is so compelling? Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you. I didn't think brady situation was anyone's

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Speaker 1: business but his own, but perhaps the truth can serve

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Speaker 1: as a cautionary lesson to you. Brady Brewster is a

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Speaker 1: wellness resort. A few months ago, Brady told his parents

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Speaker 1: that he had become addicted to eating drugs. Mm hmmmm.

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Speaker 1: He was high during that terrible ultimate frisbee game. That's

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Speaker 1: why he was playing erratically and got himself injured at

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Speaker 1: the eating drugs. That Crady, You don't know the real Brady.

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Speaker 1: The drugs made him act like a warm, reliable, straight

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Speaker 1: a student. But that wasn't him. That was just the

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Speaker 1: drugs messing up his mind. The real Brady was erratic,

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Speaker 1: easily provoked, unreliable. His parents sent him away to a luxury,

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Speaker 1: high end health retreat to clear out a system and reboot,

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Speaker 1: plus get a ten and work on his tennis Serve

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Speaker 1: tis Well. I hope this will serve as a lesson

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Speaker 1: to you all about the dangers of eating drugs. Thank

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Speaker 1: your principal, fair Weather Well, that was a short class

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Speaker 1: justin have time to hit the main points. Okay, your

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Speaker 1: homework is to read chapters eight and fourteen. Hey Hi,

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Speaker 1: wait up, Hi? Hi? H what's up with him? Hey? You, Jasper,

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Speaker 1: you're on the frisbee team with Hide? Is see upset

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Speaker 1: about something off the record? Hide helps the athletes cheat

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Speaker 1: their drug test. He probably feels responsible for Brady getting

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Speaker 1: hooked on eating drugs. He was his best friend. My

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Speaker 1: newspaper article just got a lot more interesting. Come on, Jasper.

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Speaker 1: The wolf protest is about to start, and these wolves

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Speaker 1: won't protest themselves. Attention Brewster High. The protest against unfettered

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Speaker 1: feral wolf access is currently in progress, led by main

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Speaker 1: character Britton Maraschino. Hey, how the Timver Wolves have got

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Speaker 1: to go? Hey? How the Timver Wolves have got to go? Hey? Hi, Dexter,

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Speaker 1: Hold up you two? Hi? What was up your butt?

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Speaker 1: After Mrs Bagley's class, I was like, hey, I want

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Speaker 1: to talk to you, and you'd be like, no way,

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Speaker 1: I gotta get out of here. Yeah, we've been dating

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Speaker 1: all year and I've never seen you like that before. Well,

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Speaker 1: if you must know, I had a boner. What is

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Speaker 1: going on with you? Hide? It's not likely to get

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Speaker 1: a Boner and Mrs Bagley's class. Okay, here's the real deal,

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Speaker 1: Principal Fairweather is embrace yourself. Lying, what do you mean?

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Speaker 1: Every ultimate frisbee player eats drugs for performance enhancement, but

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Speaker 1: they're all tested before every game. It would show up.

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Speaker 1: It would show up if it was their own urine.

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Speaker 1: But it's not their own urine. It's mine. I sell

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Speaker 1: my own clean piss to everyone on the frisbee team.

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Speaker 1: How do you think I can afford all these great

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Speaker 1: belt buckles. I figured you inherited them from a hillbilly

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Speaker 1: great uncle or something. That's why you're always chugging hydro light.

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Speaker 1: Do I even know you? This is the real meat.

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Speaker 1: You've always looked the other way when you see one

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Speaker 1: of my expensive new belt buckles. We'll look at them now, Dexter,

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Speaker 1: look at them now. There's a direct line between this

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Speaker 1: belt buckle right here and sixteen leaders of clean urine.

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Speaker 1: So you feel guilty about Brady getting hurt because you

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Speaker 1: enabled his addiction. No, that's the thing, me and Brady

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Speaker 1: would clean. He's the only player who didn't buy my peet.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what Brady's at, but it isn't at

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Speaker 1: a wellness resort, and don't get me started about their hygiene.

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Speaker 1: These wolves treat the whole school as their own personal bathroom.

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Speaker 1: So in conclusion, let's get rid of the wolves. Also,

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Speaker 1: I'm running for homecoming queens, so both for me. Brand

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Speaker 1: mars Kino. Now I promised Principal fair Weather she could

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Speaker 1: say a few words. Take it away, Principal fair Weather,

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Britt. I've been listening to all of your speeches,

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Speaker 1: and I gotta say, do you make some very good points?

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Speaker 1: Starting today, wolves will no longer be welcome in the

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Speaker 1: halls of Brewster High. Coach Bagley, you're in charge of

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Speaker 1: escorting the wolves out. Not exactly trained as a wild

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Speaker 1: animal handler, Coach Bagley, Oh, I really hate it when

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Speaker 1: you do that with your voice. You know exactly what

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Do not test me today. Get rid

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Speaker 1: of the wolves. Get rid of your own damn wolves,

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Speaker 1: Principal fair Weather. I'm going to the one place that

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Speaker 1: the wolves never come, the locker room. All that teenage

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Speaker 1: boy yarn has marked the locker room permanently. Yep, this

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Speaker 1: locker room is totally safe. There's no way a wolf

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Speaker 1: gets in here. It's the groundings must be too many

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Speaker 1: snow caps, so much fur on the ground. These boys

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Speaker 1: shouldn't be shaving their pubs in here to stay back

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Speaker 1: Next time I'm Brewster High. My baby is stuck alone

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Speaker 1: in a high air balloon. I don't think you've got

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Speaker 1: what it takes to be a real reporter. I'm not

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Speaker 1: a Koala killer. I'm a Koala killer's daughter. Looks like

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Speaker 1: I'll be living with you until you retired. He is

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Speaker 1: the only one with both the hardware and the software.

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Speaker 1: You can't just scooba dive whenever you want. You have

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Speaker 1: to go during low tide. I knock yourselves up. You're

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Speaker 1: all ready to be parents, son of folks. This episode

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Speaker 1: of Brewster High was written by Tim Neenan and Jonathan

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Speaker 1: Stern and directed by Jonathan Stern. It was performed by

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Speaker 1: Lelan Bowden, Owen Burke, Jordan Dahl, John Gimberling, Jared Goldstein,

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Speaker 1: Greg Hess, Peter Kim, Mike McCafferty, Veronica or SiO, Shakira,

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Speaker 1: Janet Pay, Dwayne Perkins, Marcus Ray, Anna, Sarah Gina Sauger, shake,

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Speaker 1: Amy Silverberg, and Morgan Walsh. Executive produced by Keith Quinn

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Speaker 1: and Jonathan Stern. Produced by Franny Baldwin, Jack Brongard, Natalie

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Speaker 1: Gurgli and David Solinger. The supervising sound editor was Julie

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Speaker 1: Diaz and the sound editor was Jack de Crane. Mixed

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Speaker 1: by Brent Kaiser, sound designed and mixed at Unbridled Sound.

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Speaker 1: Brewster High was a production of abominable pictures and honorable

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Speaker 1: mention for I Heart Media. If you like to attend

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Speaker 1: Brewster High. Applications for the False Semester are now being accepted.

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Speaker 1: Brewster Hi, where the screw ups of today become the

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Speaker 1: leaders of tomorrow. H