Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Oh hi Chelsea, guys, guess what it's our
Speaker 1: season finale. It's our season finale. What season are we in?
Speaker 2: Technically three, but it was sort of like a twice
Speaker 2: as big season as.
Speaker 1: The last season.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we just decide when the seasons.
Speaker 4: Are going to be over. Yeah, podcasting is a wild West.
Speaker 4: You can kind of do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: With climate change, it's everything is so unpredictable. So we're
Speaker 1: applying that line of thinking to podcasting exactly. Yes, this
Speaker 1: is our last episode of this season and then we
Speaker 1: will be back shortly for season four or yeah, okay, wow,
Speaker 1: what a success you guys, it's as success. Yes, four seasons,
Speaker 1: that's yes, Chelsea.
Speaker 4: What do you love about the show?
Speaker 1: There's a lot I love. Oh okay, well, why don't
Speaker 1: you start.
Speaker 4: I'll start.
Speaker 2: You know, it's really become this cool show where like
Speaker 2: people's lives are being changed, like people are making better choices,
Speaker 2: we're breaking people up, Like it's so wonderful to see
Speaker 2: people bond with like you helped me to you know,
Speaker 2: move my life into a better direction, or you know,
Speaker 2: get that job, or you know, say no to that
Speaker 2: mother in law or whatever it is. People are really
Speaker 2: being filled with joy and also connecting because of the show.
Speaker 4: It's so exciting.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it's very nice what Catherine does goes the
Speaker 1: extra mile above and beyond for a lot of our callers.
Speaker 1: You know, when somebody reaches out and is interested in
Speaker 1: hearing more about a certain issue or recommendations, like you
Speaker 1: really do go the extra mile to make sure people
Speaker 1: feel like, Okay, we're all in this together and we're
Speaker 1: helping people, which is so nice. Yeah, I feel the
Speaker 1: same way. I'm just so happy that people are so impact.
Speaker 1: I can't tell you how many people come up to
Speaker 1: me talking about my podcast and saying or our podcast,
Speaker 1: i should say, saying just how their lives have changed,
Speaker 1: and that they listen every week. And it's also a
Speaker 1: really great reminder about humanity and that everybody just really
Speaker 1: wants needs a little push at some point in their lives.
Speaker 1: Everybody does, and that's essentially what this is as a
Speaker 1: shove in the it's like a pep talk. You're getting
Speaker 1: a pep talk when you're on the fence about something
Speaker 1: or getting advice about how to handle, you know, a
Speaker 1: difficult situation in your life. And I think the more
Speaker 1: adept we become at handling difficulty, the better we are
Speaker 1: at helping others handle difficulty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so many of these are universal truths, Like
Speaker 2: you know, you can hear something that might not be
Speaker 2: exactly your situation, but you're able to take a life
Speaker 2: lesson from that and bring it into your relationship or
Speaker 2: bring it into your life in a way that's really beneficial.
Speaker 4: I just think that's really wonderful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I like helping people. It makes me feel
Speaker 1: like I have a purpose. Even though I feel like
Speaker 1: I do have a purpose, it's nice that this is
Speaker 1: part of my purpose.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 2: My dad always says that we're blessed to be a blessing.
Speaker 2: And when you have this sort of like overflowing wealth
Speaker 2: of knowledge or wisdom or whatever, it's really nice that
Speaker 2: you can share it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I read. Oh, I remember were talking about quote
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago on the podcast, something about
Speaker 1: being a teacher, like when you need the lesson, the
Speaker 1: teacher will show. When the student needs the lesson, the
Speaker 1: teacher will appear. Yes, And when the student has learned
Speaker 1: the lesson, the teacher will disappear. It was something along
Speaker 1: the line that line. I don't know if it was
Speaker 1: roomy or if it was someone else, but anyway, that's
Speaker 1: a very good way to look at people coming in
Speaker 1: and out of your life. You know, sometimes it takes
Speaker 1: you a couple times to learn a lesson, and sometimes
Speaker 1: you can learn it the first time. And so my
Speaker 1: goal moving on in life is to learn things the
Speaker 1: first time, the new lessons, not to have to do
Speaker 1: things on repeat. Yeah, because then you offer yourself up
Speaker 1: to a new experience the next time and you don't
Speaker 1: have to repeat that.
Speaker 4: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: I used to go to this reiky lady in Oswego, Illinois,
Speaker 2: and she had said, you know, when you get those
Speaker 2: taps on the shoulder of a lesson that you're supposed
Speaker 2: to be learning, that is, you know, your guardian angels
Speaker 2: trying to help you learn the lesson, and if you
Speaker 2: don't get it, they're going to tap you a little harder,
Speaker 2: and they're gonna tap you a little harder, and then
Speaker 2: eventually it's going to be the tube wife or that
Speaker 2: you know, sort of hits the upside the hat exactly,
Speaker 2: and it's just it's sort of how life works. So
Speaker 2: I love that learning the lesson the first time.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, when we're young and stupid, it's hard to
Speaker 1: know that you're even learning a lesson.
Speaker 4: You just feel the two by four.
Speaker 1: You're just like, why does this keep happening to me?
Speaker 1: Why does this keep happening to me? And it's like, no,
Speaker 1: it's not happening to you. You're happening to it, you know,
Speaker 1: like you're not changing the way you're thinking about something.
Speaker 1: So yes, these are all good things to keep in mind.
Speaker 1: And I want to thank everybody for being such loyal
Speaker 1: listeners and from your calls and all of it. We
Speaker 1: just love it, and I'm down.
Speaker 4: This audience is particularly awesome.
Speaker 1: Yeah they are. They are, but that's you know what.
Speaker 1: I have to credit myself with that because my audience
Speaker 1: has been fucking awesome my whole career. Just bad ass
Speaker 1: fucking women. Gay men and the straight men that are
Speaker 1: on board are really on board, and they're the cool
Speaker 1: kind of straight men, so I'm down with them too.
Speaker 1: And of course black men. I'm always down with black men.
Speaker 1: I don't know how many black straight guys are listening,
Speaker 1: but if you are, hit me up. So what's going on, Catherine?
Speaker 4: I actually just spent yesterday at Disneyland, so I am.
Speaker 1: Oh, you know what, go fuck off. I am honest say,
Speaker 1: I am so sick of your shit, first the Eggs
Speaker 1: and now Disneyland.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 2: And I even wore my new little Mickey shirt that's
Speaker 2: actually cute, cute.
Speaker 1: We're at home instead, I'm wearing it. Brad, did you
Speaker 1: go with her? Are you an accomplice?
Speaker 4: I did?
Speaker 1: I am. Yeah, we took our nieces. That's not an
Speaker 1: excuse you guys. You can try, you can use them escapegoats,
Speaker 1: but obviously you both wanted to be there. Oh how
Speaker 1: is your niece?
Speaker 4: Goat?
Speaker 1: How's it going so good?
Speaker 2: I think you having nice conversations with her. Yeah, we're
Speaker 2: having a really nice time. There are two nieces here,
Speaker 2: one is fourteen and one is sixteen, and all you
Speaker 2: have to do is be like, so, what's going on
Speaker 2: with your friends?
Speaker 4: And then they go off for an hour on their
Speaker 4: friend drama?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Great?
Speaker 2: Right? Right?
Speaker 1: I kind of like hearing about that drama.
Speaker 2: Yes, And one of my nieces she's had a new
Speaker 2: little girlfriend and she's talking all about her relationship and
Speaker 2: she's so happy and in love, and it's just it's
Speaker 2: really sweet.
Speaker 1: It's wonderful.
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, I'm just glad they're past the phase
Speaker 2: where they only eat macaroni and cheese because some delicious
Speaker 2: street tacos. Yeah, it's cute. They're loving street tacos here
Speaker 2: in La.
Speaker 1: Well, what's not to love about tacos? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it's the best.
Speaker 4: I'm so excited. So no, we're having a wonderful time
Speaker 4: with well.
Speaker 1: My lesbian sister and I she's gonna be a lesbian.
Speaker 1: When I got done with her, just planned our honeymoon
Speaker 1: portion of our vacation. I was like, we're all on
Speaker 1: this email with our Safari guide planning like our African
Speaker 1: trip because we're taking all our nieces and my ski buddy, Kelly,
Speaker 1: a different ski buddy than Lindsay. We're taking my ski
Speaker 1: buddy Kelly and her two twins. I forget their names
Speaker 1: right now, even though they're my daughters. No one is
Speaker 1: called Jesse and the other one is called Katie. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we're all going Charlie, Seneca and Jordan, my three nieces,
Speaker 1: and my sister, Simone and Kelly and her two girls.
Speaker 1: And so we're going for two weeks. We're going to
Speaker 1: Kenya and Tanzania, and then we're Simone and I are
Speaker 1: going on to a lover's week. It's just the two.
Speaker 1: She goes, I have a week off after that, do
Speaker 1: you want to do something? And I was like, you bet,
Speaker 1: I do. So we're gonna go to Cape Town and
Speaker 1: we're gonna go to Zanzibar a couple of nights. Very
Speaker 1: fun and exotic, I know. And she keeps like that.
Speaker 1: He's like, Okay, here's a villa. I'm like, we don't
Speaker 1: need a villa for the two of us. She's like, yes,
Speaker 1: we do. Stay away from me. I make to differing incredible.
Speaker 1: So I'm excited. I'm going to have a big summer
Speaker 1: of travel. So we're gonna have to We're gonna have
Speaker 1: to bank a lot of episodes.
Speaker 4: Yes, we will do that.
Speaker 1: Okay. So our next guest is an Academy Award winning
Speaker 1: actor and the number one New York Times best selling
Speaker 1: author of Green Lights, Matthew McConaughey.
Speaker 3: Are we in line and on time?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: We are.
Speaker 1: Hi, Matthew, I'm great. How are you doing? This is
Speaker 1: my co host Catherine.
Speaker 4: Hi, how are you?
Speaker 3: I'm pretty good?
Speaker 4: Good?
Speaker 1: Great, great, Matthew. I am in a state of being
Speaker 1: blown away because I read your book in the last
Speaker 1: twenty four hours. I'll be honest, I got it months
Speaker 1: ago and everybody was talking about it, and just like
Speaker 1: you describe in the book when you were accusing somebody
Speaker 1: of not being interested in something, because it was a success,
Speaker 1: it was popular, everyone was talking about it, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, fuck it, I'll read this later. And
Speaker 1: I read this yesterday in a day. It is so
Speaker 1: fucking impressive. I am so blown away by the depth
Speaker 1: of your humanity, about the depth of your soul searching.
Speaker 1: It's so a nice for a woman to be able
Speaker 1: to read a man who speaks and thinks the way
Speaker 1: that you do. We need more of that, absolutely, and
Speaker 1: the fact that you are just so in touch with
Speaker 1: yourself is really remarkable.
Speaker 3: Wow. Cool, Thank you. That feels good to hear that. Uh,
Speaker 3: thank you.
Speaker 1: I bet.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The success of your book must have been a huge
Speaker 1: boon to you to get all of this out on paper.
Speaker 1: I mean, how did it feel to get that kind
Speaker 1: of feedback and that kind of reaction from everything.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, you put something out, you don't know
Speaker 3: if it's going to stick or not.
Speaker 5: And I remember when I started writing it, I was
Speaker 5: actually found myself writing to try and impress you or
Speaker 5: an audience right, And then all of a sudden, after
Speaker 5: a couple of weeks, I was like, that's not the.
Speaker 3: Way I got to do it.
Speaker 5: Make this personal for me as possible, and hopefully it
Speaker 5: make it as entertaining as well, and then if it sticks,
Speaker 5: it sticks, and I got lucky.
Speaker 3: It hit a nerve with some people.
Speaker 5: So the reactions that I've found in travels and emails
Speaker 5: I've gotten from around the world to say, hey, I
Speaker 5: saw myself and your stories. Hey, I'm taking more risk
Speaker 5: to do things in my life that I was afraid
Speaker 5: to take before. Hey, I'm going to laugh this time
Speaker 5: when I step in shit instead of thinking, oh my god,
Speaker 5: it's a crisis.
Speaker 3: I'm want to come across.
Speaker 5: Some cautions in life and I'm going to blow through
Speaker 5: them when I should not give a CRISI so much credit. Well,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna slow down and take a little inventory, just
Speaker 5: to hear the feedback.
Speaker 3: It was. You know, when you put something out you
Speaker 3: have in your mind which you hope a reaction will be,
Speaker 3: and if someone says it, you don't say that loud,
Speaker 3: but if someone says that back to you, You're like, yes,
Speaker 3: that's what I was hoping, And I got a lot
Speaker 3: of that from the book, and that that felt really cool.
Speaker 3: I mean, the writing of it for me was, I'm
Speaker 3: not a guy who looks in the past.
Speaker 5: I like to go forward and hey, what's in the background,
Speaker 5: what's behind the review mirors and the review mirror. So
Speaker 5: to go back and look at who I was and
Speaker 5: now I got here, it was fucking embarrassing.
Speaker 3: I was. I had a lot of shame. I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, I can't believe you did that, this
Speaker 3: and that and the other.
Speaker 5: But after a few weeks writing, I started to laugh
Speaker 5: at that shit and started gigging and was like going, well, no, shit, man,
Speaker 5: you know he's perfect. Yeah, you screwed up. Put that
Speaker 5: one in there too, put that story in there. And
Speaker 5: that turned out to be some of people's favorite stuff,
Speaker 5: is when I'm writing about me stepping and shit, me
Speaker 5: eating Kroll.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, because I think it's very very attractive
Speaker 1: when people are able to not take themselves so seriously,
Speaker 1: especially in our industry, because it's a byproduct, right, you
Speaker 1: have to take yourself seriously at times if you want
Speaker 1: to get serious about working, or you want to get
Speaker 1: serious about accomplishing whatever your goals may be so to
Speaker 1: take yourself seriously and also at the same time not
Speaker 1: take yourself seriously enough that you can't expose the shortcomings
Speaker 1: or the embarrassments or the self recrimination.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I like a call that.
Speaker 5: Hey, I think we should take it all seriously, especially
Speaker 5: the comedy, especially the screw ups. Take them seriously, do
Speaker 5: and just own them and go, Yeah, I take that,
Speaker 5: you know, the comedy of my own life seriously.
Speaker 3: Do, So let's put that up.
Speaker 5: I take the times when I eat cro or follow
Speaker 5: my ass pretty seriously too, and let's just put that
Speaker 5: out there as well.
Speaker 3: It was it. Look, it was you've written, you put
Speaker 3: something down on a page, and you're directing your writing.
Speaker 3: You're the main character. It's cleansing, I mean, you kind of.
Speaker 3: It clears up a lot of things.
Speaker 5: I found out that I remembered a lot more than
Speaker 5: I gave myself credit for.
Speaker 3: Meaning.
Speaker 5: I saw things that I wrote down when I was
Speaker 5: fifteen twenty twenty five and was going like, oh, you're
Speaker 5: essentially the same guy, the same person. You've evolved, I believe,
Speaker 5: I hope so McConaughey, But you're essentially the same person.
Speaker 5: Oh you do remember that even though I always like
Speaker 5: to see this. I write things down so I can
Speaker 5: forget them, so they'll be there. You never do that
Speaker 5: at the dinner table, and I know when I pull
Speaker 5: up my phone and I always have to go, hey,
Speaker 5: I'm not writing somebody else that's not here. I'm actually
Speaker 5: writing a note of something you just said. And then
Speaker 5: I'll show it to you and you go, Chelsea, did
Speaker 5: you say that? And You're like, yeah, I did. I'm
Speaker 5: writing that down so I can forget it and be
Speaker 5: present in the situation again, because if I don't write
Speaker 5: it down, I'm gonna be thinking the whole dinner.
Speaker 3: Don't forget that thing she said, don't forget that thing
Speaker 3: she said.
Speaker 5: And so there was a lot of freedom for me
Speaker 5: in writing the damn thing and putting it out there.
Speaker 1: Matthew, are you sitting in front of two flags right now?
Speaker 3: Yes, we have an America and flag and a Texas flag.
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it.
Speaker 6: Well.
Speaker 1: You were supposed to become the governor of Texas at
Speaker 1: some point, right.
Speaker 3: Was supposed to become I considered considered getting in that run.
Speaker 1: And then decided no, not for you, No, no.
Speaker 5: No, I don't think that's where I can be most useful.
Speaker 5: Right now, I'm having too good of a time.
Speaker 3: I got three kids fourteen, thirteen, ten, and the adventures
Speaker 3: were going on. I'm not going to get them again,
Speaker 3: and right now I'm enjoying being a dad, family man.
Speaker 5: Everyone says it, but it's true. I got seven more
Speaker 5: years and then they're out on their own, hopefully, And
Speaker 5: then everyone says, get what you can while they're in
Speaker 5: the house.
Speaker 3: Because it doesn't come back. You don't get the time again. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, one of the things that you talk about very
Speaker 1: emphatically in your book is becoming a father. That was
Speaker 1: one thing you knew about yourself, you say, is that
Speaker 1: you knew you wanted to be a father. And that's
Speaker 1: also a very nice thing to hear a man say,
Speaker 1: to be that passionate about it. And when you talk
Speaker 1: about your family, it feels like, you know, we have
Speaker 1: our first nature, our personality that we're born with, and
Speaker 1: then we have our second nature, our experiences and the
Speaker 1: people who raise us and your family sounds a fucking
Speaker 1: fun and be like, you'll never get away from them
Speaker 1: for your life. You are part of that ecosystem. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And that it had such such huge influence on you.
Speaker 1: Your father, your values, your morals, your mother, everything that
Speaker 1: you've been through, and now as a parent, to try
Speaker 1: and redistribute that right, that wealth of knowledge, but in
Speaker 1: a better way. I'm assuming, right, you think you can
Speaker 1: do almost a better job. Try and see how is
Speaker 1: that going for you.
Speaker 5: I'm happy to say I think it's going pretty well.
Speaker 5: Not making straight a's, but I think it's going pretty well.
Speaker 5: I've got some considerate children. Hopefully they can get out
Speaker 5: of the house confident, having an idea of who the
Speaker 5: hell they are and who they're not. Hopefully they can
Speaker 5: be conscientious. We I'd like to talk about being a
Speaker 5: renaissance man or a renaissance woman to my daughter, but hey,
Speaker 5: you know, serveing them morning, conduct the orchestra at night,
Speaker 5: be able to go from shirtless and no shoes in
Speaker 5: the mud to a tuxedo in the same.
Speaker 3: Day and feel at home in both those places.
Speaker 5: We're filling their passports, which, as you know, I think
Speaker 5: is one of one of the best resumes someone can have.
Speaker 3: You see a full.
Speaker 5: Passport, you got a pretty good idea that that person
Speaker 5: has some wisdom of how the world works and how
Speaker 5: humanity rolls. You know, we got like I said, fourteen, thirteen, ten,
Speaker 5: we're just getting into those teen years.
Speaker 3: That's a whole new roller coaster. You know, more rhyme,
Speaker 3: no less reason.
Speaker 5: And then when you have kids, I noticed early on
Speaker 5: that it's more DNA than I thought, meaning I thought.
Speaker 3: It was before I had kids.
Speaker 5: I thought it was more the second thing, environment, culture,
Speaker 5: what you're raised around. And I noticed early on that, oh,
Speaker 5: these these young people are who they are. I can
Speaker 5: shepherd them, I can nudge them, I can put in
Speaker 5: front of them with lights their fire and try to
Speaker 5: keep them from hurting themselves too bad. But other than that,
Speaker 5: they are who they are. And so I've had to
Speaker 5: you know, I use this line when it comes to
Speaker 5: discipline the family. I'll treat you all fairly, but I'm
Speaker 5: not going to treat you all the same. And it's
Speaker 5: a pretty fun one. We have a good time with
Speaker 5: the fourteen and thirteen. I'm getting to that age where
Speaker 5: I'm starting to become their buddy a little bit which
Speaker 5: is cool.
Speaker 3: Meaning like my daughter will call me over and go.
Speaker 5: Hey, why I want to talk to you about this thing,
Speaker 5: and we can just talk where I'm not teaching, I'm
Speaker 5: not talking as the parent we're just jiving where my
Speaker 5: son can go flipped on like an NPR the other
Speaker 5: day and didn't want to listen to music. I want
Speaker 5: to listen to I'm at fourteen. I'm like, going, and
Speaker 5: what do you get out of this this talk? He's
Speaker 5: listening to podcasts and stuff.
Speaker 3: I'm going, okay, okay. So I'm becoming buddies with the
Speaker 3: older two right now, which is nice. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think that's the thing that always has scared me
Speaker 1: about parenting is having to be a teacher for so long.
Speaker 1: That always has been like, oh god, so many questions
Speaker 1: that I probably don't have the accurate answers to.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 5: And the other thing is you get that thing that
Speaker 5: happens as parents is they'll ask you that question. Like,
Speaker 5: for instance, I got one of the book where my
Speaker 5: eldest son comes to me and goes, why is before
Speaker 5: Camilla and I were married?
Speaker 3: He comes to mean goes, why isn't mama Alma Conaughey. Well,
Speaker 3: those are those questions where as a parent, you know,
Speaker 3: I better have a fucking good answer for this because.
Speaker 5: What I say right now is going to be branded
Speaker 5: in their mind. Or they ask you a big world
Speaker 5: question and you go as a parent, and you may
Speaker 5: be tired.
Speaker 3: May you may have had a couple of drinks. It's
Speaker 3: late at night, and you go like, whoop, I better
Speaker 3: have a good answer for this one, because what I
Speaker 3: say right now they're going to remember forever.
Speaker 1: And the good answer, well, the good parenting is actually
Speaker 1: going and finding that answer, which resulted in you marrying
Speaker 1: your wife, right because had he not positive that question
Speaker 1: to you, who knows when you guys would have gotten
Speaker 1: married if maybe ever or not ever.
Speaker 3: I might have might have sat there and stayed in
Speaker 3: neutral and not set a date. But that did give
Speaker 3: me a kick in the backside to go, you know what,
Speaker 3: everything's going great right now, but let's gold and take
Speaker 3: this to another level and started starting a new commitment
Speaker 3: and adventure together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Well with this book has led to a
Speaker 1: very unexpected event, probably unexpected for you too to a
Speaker 1: certain degree. You're doing a live event with Tony Robbins
Speaker 1: and some other people, Tony Robbins being probably the most
Speaker 1: notable one. And it's called the Art of Living. So
Speaker 1: let's talk about it. What are you.
Speaker 3: Gonna be on the end? Because life's subverb.
Speaker 1: That's right, Yeah, that's how we say it now living living,
Speaker 1: not living.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So Tony and Dean read the book, liked the
Speaker 3: approach and came to me and said, look, it's a
Speaker 3: great approach book. Do you want to dig deeper and
Speaker 3: maybe make it more show the process so people can
Speaker 3: more personally may have some transformation. And I was like,
Speaker 3: I'd love to And they're great at that. So that's
Speaker 3: what we're doing.
Speaker 5: On April the twenty fourth, we're going to go live
Speaker 5: the two of them, myself, Trent Shelton, Mary for Lee,
Speaker 5: and we're gonna get under the hood of green lights.
Speaker 5: How share how you can if anyone out there can
Speaker 5: make it personal to their lives, how they can we
Speaker 5: can understand if we're at a green light on our
Speaker 5: highway of life, you know, when things are rolling and
Speaker 5: we can't do no wrong, how do we trust that
Speaker 5: green light that it's one that's gonna that that's one
Speaker 5: that's gonna last longer and feed us for longer.
Speaker 3: What do we do with a yellow light? Those pauses
Speaker 3: in life where we're like, I gotta I gotta hitch
Speaker 3: in my giddy up a little bit, I gotta reconsider
Speaker 3: what do we do? Do we do we pause and
Speaker 3: have a look over our shoulder and go, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: have a look for the first time. Why I keep
Speaker 3: stepping in that same pile of shit? Or do we
Speaker 3: say no, I'm gonna blow this.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna put the pedal to the metal and blow
Speaker 5: this yellow light life because I'm not gonna give the
Speaker 5: crisis credit because what comes after the yello the red light,
Speaker 5: and that's the big crisis is like pain, loss, Things suck,
Speaker 5: They feel like that ends. I have learned, and I
Speaker 5: think it's true for everybody that there is a gift
Speaker 5: in those red lights. I'm sure y'all get in times
Speaker 5: your life fore like there is nothing I can get this,
Speaker 5: this sucks. There's no lesson in this when you're in it,
Speaker 5: and then later on go, oh I did get something
Speaker 5: from that red light.
Speaker 3: Oh there was a gift in that.
Speaker 5: So we're going to get under the hood of all
Speaker 5: that to make that practical for people to go, how
Speaker 5: do I assess my green, yellow, and reds in life?
Speaker 5: We're going to talk about defining more. You know, you
Speaker 5: hear it all the time people I want more, I
Speaker 5: want more, but we kind of we forget to say more.
Speaker 5: What you know, it's like we want to be relevant,
Speaker 5: relevant for what define our more. First, admit some some truths,
Speaker 5: admit some lies that we that we tell and we
Speaker 5: believe in our lives, so we can kind of be
Speaker 5: more ourselves.
Speaker 3: Which you've done a really great job of that, Chelsea.
Speaker 5: I mean you've gone said it seems from the outside
Speaker 5: that you've done a really good job of being yourself.
Speaker 5: So by hook or by crook, whether what you put
Speaker 5: out considered works or doesn't is seen or sells or does,
Speaker 5: it doesn't seem like you've been someone who's like, well,
Speaker 5: I sold out and I took a chance and I
Speaker 5: was somebody I wasn't And that always feels better, I know.
Speaker 3: For me, and I think it does for everybody. If
Speaker 3: you can do something authentically as you're if it works out,
Speaker 3: hell yeah great. But if it doesn't, you don't feel
Speaker 3: like like you sold out to try and sell something
Speaker 3: that wouldn't ourselves. So we're going to talk about all
Speaker 3: those kind of things and trying to make them practical,
Speaker 3: transformational for people.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I related to so much of everything that you wrote
Speaker 1: in the book because you have honored yourself in so
Speaker 1: many different ways in your career and your personal life,
Speaker 1: with your relationship with your family, and that honor, that
Speaker 1: kind of self value, self honor, self respect and respect
Speaker 1: for others, because I don't really think you can respect
Speaker 1: other people until you truly respect yourself, right, And I
Speaker 1: think that the way that you demonstrate in the book,
Speaker 1: like the times were like, as one example, just walking
Speaker 1: away from romantic comedies, which was a fruitful and money
Speaker 1: and everything that you could ask for that would make
Speaker 1: a regular person, would make them think that they could
Speaker 1: be happy and exist on that for the rest of
Speaker 1: their life, eating popcorn and not desiring anything beyond that popcorn.
Speaker 1: And you said no, and you were offered lots of money,
Speaker 1: and you still said no, I'm not doing that anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. And you waited, and you waited.
Speaker 1: And I think the key ingredient for so many people
Speaker 1: who want to take risks, who don't think they have
Speaker 1: the courage or the balls or whatever you want to
Speaker 1: call it, is because it's just patience, you know, it's
Speaker 1: really it takes balls, but it takes patience and knowing
Speaker 1: that you have to trust yourself, knowing that you are
Speaker 1: the person that you can trust.
Speaker 5: Yeah, can you believe in those times? That time is
Speaker 5: actually on your side.
Speaker 3: It's tough. Yes on the clock's taken, man. And then
Speaker 3: we make these plans.
Speaker 1: And then you have babies that you have to support and.
Speaker 5: They're going or I have a friend who's like to
Speaker 5: get it planned out. At thirty, I'm going to meet
Speaker 5: the woman for me. At thirty five, I'll be married
Speaker 5: and have kids. At forty, they'll be here thirty. He
Speaker 5: didn't meet the girl thirty five, he didn't have the family.
Speaker 5: He started getting anxious. You know, I write about it
Speaker 5: in the book. Before I met Camilla, I was on
Speaker 5: the hunt. I was looking for the possibility of my
Speaker 5: at every red light, in every produce section. Oh there's
Speaker 5: an angle maybe. And I was trying. I was not
Speaker 5: being myself. I was not content with myself to be patient.
Speaker 3: And then once I became that man and sat back
Speaker 3: and trusted and was patient that, hey, I don't have
Speaker 3: to keep looking. I'll find it if I quit looking
Speaker 3: so hard. Well, that's when she showed up. I mean,
Speaker 3: with the career that two years that I took off,
Speaker 3: I got wildly. I'd like to say it.
Speaker 5: That old bottle of my favorite spirit over there on
Speaker 5: the counter started looking a little bit better. Earlier in
Speaker 5: the day, I was like, I would lack purpose, I
Speaker 5: didn't have significance.
Speaker 3: I was like, what am I doing.
Speaker 5: I considered other vocations, like maybe I wrote a one
Speaker 5: way ticket.
Speaker 3: Out of Hollywood.
Speaker 5: I got to find another job, another career, and I
Speaker 5: hung in there. Luckily I had Camilla by my side,
Speaker 5: sitting and going like, this is non negotiable. We made
Speaker 5: this choice, and we know it's true to your soul,
Speaker 5: so we're not going back. And there was never a
Speaker 5: choice of going back, but it was. It was spooky,
Speaker 5: and then all of a sudden that patience paid off.
Speaker 3: All of a sudden, I was gone from Hollywood enough
Speaker 3: to become a new good idea for the dramas I
Speaker 3: wanted to do in the phone rang for that, and
Speaker 3: all of a sudden went and did all the things
Speaker 3: that I'd been wanting to do that that the Hollywood
Speaker 3: was not offering me years before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we got the maconnaissance. Yeah, the maconnaissance. That's great?
Speaker 1: Is that a term?
Speaker 3: Or Oh?
Speaker 4: No, I wish I had probably People magazine or something.
Speaker 3: I tell you the story about that.
Speaker 1: No, tell us check this out.
Speaker 3: This jeez. It was some self marketing. So I'm gonna
Speaker 3: tell you ride and I think I was there with
Speaker 3: the movie.
Speaker 5: I'd done mud and something else, and uh, the guy
Speaker 5: in this interview is going, I mean that you're you're.
Speaker 3: Like a really roll right now. Man? You did this
Speaker 3: and this this is like it needs a name or something.
Speaker 3: I went, yeah, you know, I was talking to this
Speaker 3: guy a minute ago and he actually called it the mcconaugh's.
Speaker 4: Incredible.
Speaker 3: I threw it out there right and he goes, manaissance.
Speaker 3: I love that you like that. Yeah, it sounds good man.
Speaker 3: So I snuck it. Then some abition didn't stick. I've
Speaker 3: made that up in one interview, and it's stuck. I
Speaker 3: gave it at a little song title, a little album.
Speaker 1: I like the idea of coining a phrase about yourself.
Speaker 1: I like that a lot.
Speaker 2: I was like, most people can't give themselves a nickname,
Speaker 2: but no, you deserve.
Speaker 3: Beyond stuck the I got the wine.
Speaker 4: Love it.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, Matthew, first let me ask you something before
Speaker 1: we start with our callers. Have you been to therapy?
Speaker 3: No? Wow, I have not been to therapy. I got
Speaker 3: nothing against therapy. You know, I was writing about this yesterday.
Speaker 3: So we go to therapy and again I had nothing
Speaker 3: against it. I've seen it really work for people, and
Speaker 3: I might want to go and need to go later
Speaker 3: in my life.
Speaker 5: But we go to therapy and we learned to get
Speaker 5: objective about ourselves, right, We go to therapy and we
Speaker 5: learn to see, like, hey, or who we think we are,
Speaker 5: what we're actually putting out is what we're putting out there?
Speaker 5: Is that what the world's receiving or is there a
Speaker 5: big gap between those?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Are we living a life
Speaker 3: where the rubber meets the road. And it's great because
Speaker 3: you get an objective sort of third eye, a Google
Speaker 3: eye to the world of what we're doing.
Speaker 5: But I do think we have to watch with too
Speaker 5: much objectivity of awareness of like, well, how is what
Speaker 5: we're doing landing? Well, how is it being is it
Speaker 5: being received? We have to watch because it's.
Speaker 3: Good if it leads us back to being more subjective.
Speaker 5: Meaning what's great is when you just you're not even
Speaker 5: being objective at all. You're just being the subject in
Speaker 5: your life and you're just doing it and it happens
Speaker 5: to be reciprocating.
Speaker 3: That's green lights in life. You know, that's great when
Speaker 3: it rolls that way and we all need to hop
Speaker 3: back and go, hey, let's be considerate and have a
Speaker 3: little check out context to the situation. That's that awareness
Speaker 3: of objectivity.
Speaker 5: But I do think we have to watch the rabbit
Speaker 5: hole of going and trying to be too objective for
Speaker 5: too long forget to be the subjects in our life.
Speaker 5: So if therapy leads us back to being a better subject,
Speaker 5: a better, better individual without being sort of eating conscious
Speaker 5: of what we're doing or what we're what we're doing,
Speaker 5: how it's landing, I think it's I think it's very helpful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hear what you're saying, because when you have
Speaker 1: too much self awareness, it's almost like you're not even
Speaker 1: in the moment because you're analyzing everything you're doing and
Speaker 1: how it's being perceived by others. That's definitely a struggle
Speaker 1: I had coming out of therapy. I'm like, fuck, I mean,
Speaker 1: when am I going to be able to go back
Speaker 1: to me instead of making sure I'm making sure everyone's
Speaker 1: okay around my behavior?
Speaker 5: It can just be paralysis of analysis almost. It can
Speaker 5: immobilize us, you know.
Speaker 3: I mean, look, I got a mother who ninety one,
Speaker 3: and she's a great example of the value of denial.
Speaker 3: If you actually commit to it. Okay, if you really
Speaker 3: commit to it. She looks. She's not shallow. She is
Speaker 3: not a yellow person. But I asked her about four
Speaker 3: years ago. She's wild ass, rebel, outlaw, and she was.
Speaker 5: Doing all these things that were the opposite of what
Speaker 5: she had raised me and my two.
Speaker 3: Brothers to do. We're like, I was like, mom, come on,
Speaker 3: no one forgives you themselves quicker than you. I was like,
Speaker 3: don't you have anything at the end of the night,
Speaker 3: we like you go, oh, I need to do that better.
Speaker 3: I need to work on that. And she was like, oh, honey,
Speaker 3: every night I go through a mental list twenty five things,
Speaker 3: the things that I could do better, things that I
Speaker 3: want to improve on. I go, oh, okay, good, she goes,
Speaker 3: you know, Matthew, But the thing is, when I wake
Speaker 3: up in the morning, I forgot them all. She just
Speaker 3: rolls like that, And like I said, she's.
Speaker 5: Not shallow, but she's there's a beauty in her inconsideration.
Speaker 5: What bruises others tickles her, and she she is proof
Speaker 5: that there's a loophole in the Golden rule. Doing others
Speaker 5: you'd have been doing to you. Well, not everyone wants
Speaker 5: to do what you want to do. But she just
Speaker 5: ninety one. She just rolls, and she's been doing that
Speaker 5: kind of all her life. And it's pretty awesome to
Speaker 5: see that simplicity because she's not objective at all. She
Speaker 5: takes no context, she has no a lack of consideration,
Speaker 5: and it could be a real pain in the ass sometimes,
Speaker 5: but ninety percent of the time it's like, go, girl,
Speaker 5: go get it, keep doing what you're doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a real renegade, as your father was as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Okay, So on that note, we are going
Speaker 1: to Catherine. You're gonna tell help what we have in
Speaker 1: store for Matthew today.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, we've got some crises of conscience in here. We've
Speaker 2: got some confidence issues, some what am I doing next
Speaker 2: in my life? Okay, So we'll take a quick break
Speaker 2: and we'll be right back, and we're back.
Speaker 4: We're past.
Speaker 6: Well.
Speaker 1: Our first question.
Speaker 2: Comes from Sage. Sage says, dear Chelsea, I am desperate
Speaker 2: for your help. I feel like I've been stuck in
Speaker 2: this identity crisis for years. I've lost sight of not
Speaker 2: only who I am, but what's important to me. I
Speaker 2: feel like I spend every day going through the motions,
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden years have passed. I came
Speaker 2: to the realization the other day that I don't actually
Speaker 2: enjoy my life.
Speaker 4: I just get through the days. I feel like I'm.
Speaker 2: Waiting for that light bulb moment or some type of
Speaker 2: epiphany to wake me up. But I also understand that's
Speaker 2: not realistic. How do I start enjoying life again, liking
Speaker 2: who I am, not caring what others think, taking chances,
Speaker 2: and living a life of happiness and purpose. I suppose
Speaker 2: I don't even know where to start. I'm twenty seven now,
Speaker 2: and I know that I'm wasting my youth being lost,
Speaker 2: and I don't want any more excuses. I'm ready to
Speaker 2: live a life I'm proud of and that's true to me.
Speaker 2: But how do I figure out what that is? Thanks
Speaker 2: in advance stage, I'm going.
Speaker 1: To let Matthew take this from the top because he
Speaker 1: seems to be on a real role, and then I'll
Speaker 1: follow up after. I just want to say everyone feels
Speaker 1: like this at some point in their life, if not
Speaker 1: multiple times in their life, so just know A this
Speaker 1: is not uncommon and you are not alone. Matthew. Why
Speaker 1: don't you go first?
Speaker 5: Well, thanks for saying that first, Chelsea, because that is
Speaker 5: such we bypass that as far as helping somebody out
Speaker 5: by going hey, just to know it's not a singular experience.
Speaker 5: Just to know that, oh hey, me too, helps so much.
Speaker 3: It sort of just flattens the everything and takes the
Speaker 3: air out of the pressure.
Speaker 5: So way to start that office saying hey, you're not alone. Look,
Speaker 5: I'd say this a lot of this. We all want
Speaker 5: to talk about who am I, what's my purpose? What
Speaker 5: am I going to do? And we're trying to look
Speaker 5: for that first. Don't look for that first, start with
Speaker 5: something much easier. Because knowing who you are is fucking hard.
Speaker 5: Knowing who you're not is easier. So start off with
Speaker 5: process of elimination. Start eliminating the things in your life.
Speaker 5: Says that don't pay you back, the people, the places.
Speaker 3: The things that you're doing, what do you eat, drink,
Speaker 3: whatever your habits that you know what. They may feel
Speaker 3: good at the moment, but the.
Speaker 5: Next day they kind of give you a hangover, or
Speaker 5: they didn't pay you back.
Speaker 3: You were in the debit section the next day, you
Speaker 3: felt like less.
Speaker 5: After you left that group of friends that maybe talked
Speaker 5: about certain things that well maybe we're funny at the time,
Speaker 5: it made you feel like a heel when you left.
Speaker 5: Start eliminating those things. So by process of elimination, when
Speaker 5: we get rid of the things in our life that
Speaker 5: don't pay us back, that don't feed more of who
Speaker 5: we are by sheer mathematics, you end up with more
Speaker 5: room for the things that will feed you and we'll
Speaker 5: pay you back.
Speaker 3: Line up in front of you. So start with eliminating
Speaker 3: who you're not to get to who you are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that a lot. I also would like
Speaker 1: to say, you know, when you're having all these kinds
Speaker 1: of feelings that aren't giving you positive vibes, right, the
Speaker 1: important thing, I think the first thing that you need
Speaker 1: to do is learn how to get really still and
Speaker 1: get really quiet so that you can understand exactly what
Speaker 1: your desires are and what and how you want to.
Speaker 1: You know, what makes you excited, what gets your part
Speaker 1: rate up, what gives you excitement when you think about fashion,
Speaker 1: or do you think about television, or you think about
Speaker 1: like what is your retail, whatever it is, there's no
Speaker 1: judgment on it. It's whatever your desire is. What draws
Speaker 1: your attention, what keeps you interested, what helps you stay
Speaker 1: focused when you're on that subject matter, Like, those are
Speaker 1: the things that you need to find out about yourself.
Speaker 1: And the way to do that is to really kind
Speaker 1: of go within. You have to be still with yourself.
Speaker 1: You have to give yourself like space and time to
Speaker 1: be quiet, to not have noise around you, to not
Speaker 1: have influence around you, to really sit down with a book,
Speaker 1: sit down by yourself, sit down to reflect, to meditate,
Speaker 1: however you want to frame that. But it's about the
Speaker 1: inner desires because your body will speak to you. You
Speaker 1: will speak to yourself when you've given the time to
Speaker 1: do that, Like it's a matter of self respect in
Speaker 1: a way, you're allowing your body and your mind to
Speaker 1: tell you what they want. And this is all going
Speaker 1: to sound very spiritual and big worldy to you if
Speaker 1: you haven't done this yet, but I promise you, if
Speaker 1: you make this a practice of just trying to get
Speaker 1: in touch with yourself, there will be a voice inside
Speaker 1: your head that is on your team, that is going
Speaker 1: to direct you and tell you. Just like there's always
Speaker 1: a voice telling you that you're not good enough, that
Speaker 1: you're not smart enough, that you're not brave enough. There's
Speaker 1: a voice your real voice that is centered, that will
Speaker 1: guide you. And you have to trust that that intuition,
Speaker 1: that self, knowing it's there for each one of us.
Speaker 1: And the only times we get separated from that voice
Speaker 1: is when we're not focused and we're not centered, and
Speaker 1: it's easy to disengage, but it's it's easy also to
Speaker 1: get back on the track. You know, it doesn't take
Speaker 1: that as much as you think it's going to take.
Speaker 1: And obviously I can't tell you what your purpose is.
Speaker 1: You're going to have to find out what your purpose
Speaker 1: is for yourself. But the more time you spend with
Speaker 1: yourself with less noise around you, the more in tune
Speaker 1: you're gonna get with yourself and you're going to understand
Speaker 1: what you need to do to move the ball forward
Speaker 1: in a direction that's going to make you excited about
Speaker 1: your life. And also understand that you're not always going
Speaker 1: to be excited about your life, but you want to
Speaker 1: be optimistic about your life, and you want to be
Speaker 1: you know, challenging yourself and going to new areas and
Speaker 1: doing things that scare you or that you can't and
Speaker 1: taking risks. You know, all of these things are part
Speaker 1: of the equation. So I would start by doing that.
Speaker 1: You know, if it's meditation, then make it a meditation.
Speaker 1: But give yourself some time each morning or each day
Speaker 1: whenever you can, twenty minutes and just be still and
Speaker 1: sit in a garden or buy trees in nature and
Speaker 1: just sit with yourself. And you're going to come up
Speaker 1: with more answers than you would ever even believe that.
Speaker 3: Twenty minutes if you hadn't done it. It feels like
Speaker 3: hours when you first start. But don't pull the parachute.
Speaker 3: Don't back out. What Chelsea says, right, stick with it.
Speaker 3: It gets easier and easier.
Speaker 5: But when you first do it, you will not like
Speaker 5: the company. Every time I go off on the mown,
Speaker 5: I do not like the company. I cannot stand the
Speaker 5: dialogue that's going on, man, But be stick with it
Speaker 5: through that time.
Speaker 3: What do you end up realizing?
Speaker 1: You realize that you're the best company. You're the only
Speaker 1: company that can't get rid of.
Speaker 3: So we've been trying to freaking get alone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally so fun. It's so true, it's so
Speaker 1: fucking true. I mean, I can't tell you how noisy
Speaker 1: my life was for so long until I did this,
Speaker 1: and I hated the company. I was like, you're so annoying, ugh,
Speaker 1: this this, and then I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1: I only want to hang out with you, like you're
Speaker 1: the best company, you know what I mean. Even when
Speaker 1: I go skiing. Now, I'm like, I try not to
Speaker 1: let my friends know, Like when I'm in my skills,
Speaker 1: I try not to let my friends know because I
Speaker 1: want at least a few runs by myself. And they
Speaker 1: can never understand why I want to ski alone. I'm like,
Speaker 1: because it's fucking more fun to be by myself sometimes
Speaker 1: than to be around other people. So anyway, start doing
Speaker 1: that stage stage right, yes see, yes, keep in touch
Speaker 1: with us and connect with us. And when you've had
Speaker 1: a little bit of an awakening, I guarantee you it's coming.
Speaker 1: Just have faith in the knowledge of yourself and just
Speaker 1: start practicing some alone time and real thoughtfulness, and I
Speaker 1: promise you you're gonna get where you want to go.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Like this is what happens at times in your life,
Speaker 2: but especially when you're twenty seven. Like twenty seven, everybody
Speaker 2: feels this way because you're in this like croux between
Speaker 2: the young adulthood that you've just been in and like
Speaker 2: adult adulthood, and it's just a weird flection point where
Speaker 2: you feel so much change.
Speaker 1: And I think all the sevens are like that. Twenty seven,
Speaker 1: thirty seven, forty seven, there's something about and I think
Speaker 1: in Judaism. Yeah, seven is a number where pivotal things happen.
Speaker 1: So it's it's all good run towards it. It's all good,
Speaker 1: exciting because new things are going to happen.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 2: Well, our next question comes from Sean. Sean says, dear Chelsea.
Speaker 2: I'm a thirty seven year old flight attendant from Kansas City, Missouri.
Speaker 2: It goes without saying that I am, of course gay.
Speaker 2: I've been a flight attendant for five years and people
Speaker 2: always say, oh, what a dream job, or that's what
Speaker 2: you were meant to do. I enjoy the perks of
Speaker 2: my job, but have you met people? I have to
Speaker 2: deal with almost three hundred of them for eight hours
Speaker 2: inside in a lowe when I'm can No one dreams
Speaker 2: about that. Sure, being in Paris or Amsterdam weekly is great,
Speaker 2: but I know this is not viable for the long term.
Speaker 2: I've thought about taking flight lessons to become a pilot,
Speaker 2: but that still feels like settling several years ago, some
Speaker 2: friends who did stand up informed me that I was funny.
Speaker 2: I legitimately had no idea due to my penchant for
Speaker 2: thinking I have no valuable skills. They asked me to
Speaker 2: do a little set at their show and I agreed. Well,
Speaker 2: I killed it. I felt like I was in the
Speaker 2: right place For the first time, they laughed when they
Speaker 2: were supposed to.
Speaker 4: They clapped.
Speaker 2: It was amazing. I did it again and I didn't
Speaker 2: do as well, but still pretty good. Now it's been
Speaker 2: years since I've done it. Because I'm so scared of
Speaker 2: being disliked, I would be stuck doing open mic nights
Speaker 2: in Kansas City. I'm scared of not only doing poorly,
Speaker 2: but I'm also nervous about the rednecks hating me just
Speaker 2: because I'm gay. Plus I'm burnt out, so I just
Speaker 2: don't feel funny or creative. How do I move through
Speaker 2: the stress and bullshit to get back to a place
Speaker 2: where I can be funny and confident. I know I'm
Speaker 2: still young, but I would hate to look back on
Speaker 2: my life and regret never doing anything that was actually difficult.
Speaker 2: I just finished Your Special Revolution, available now on Netflix,
Speaker 2: and it just solidified that I want to do what
Speaker 2: you do, Chelsea. I want to make people laugh and
Speaker 2: find a way to find humor in this craziness. Thank
Speaker 2: you for being you, and I promise you really are
Speaker 2: changing the world.
Speaker 4: Sean Hi, Sean Hi Hi.
Speaker 1: Our special guest today is Matthew mccaughaughey.
Speaker 3: What a shree Oh my gosh, him, I know, I know.
Speaker 1: Look how cute you look too.
Speaker 2: How are you?
Speaker 7: My god?
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
Speaker 4: Get this gorgeous hair.
Speaker 7: I'm great.
Speaker 3: How are you guys?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm great. You met Catherine obviously, this is I'm
Speaker 1: my co host. Well, it's nice to meet you, you too,
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm going to go first, Matthew. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: going to just since this is a stand up comedy
Speaker 1: question and you just watched my special, and I've felt
Speaker 1: like you before at different times in my life where
Speaker 1: I'd had no creativity, I didn't know if I was funny,
Speaker 1: I didn't care, I didn't want to work, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: I understand what you're feeling. You have to understand a
Speaker 1: how lucky and fortunate you are to know what lights
Speaker 1: you up. That's what every person is looking for. Our
Speaker 1: last caller was trying to find that light. You know
Speaker 1: what lights you up, you know what makes you feel
Speaker 1: something that you really want to feel in this life.
Speaker 1: And that's the biggest thing, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: You know that now you just have to walk that
Speaker 1: avenue to get where you're going. And that's easier than
Speaker 1: you ever thought it was. Yes, you're gonna bomb, You're
Speaker 1: gonna do badly. People aren't gonna always like you. That's
Speaker 1: not the point. The point isn't to get everybody to
Speaker 1: like you or to succeed all the time, because there's
Speaker 1: no growth or learning in either of those things. That's
Speaker 1: just a cherry, you know, like that's oh great, I
Speaker 1: have that moment. It also doesn't last forever. The idea
Speaker 1: is to get really just better incrementally at something, And
Speaker 1: in order to get better at something and to make
Speaker 1: a career out of it, you need to fucking start
Speaker 1: doing it. So you have to start performing. It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter if there are rednecks, It doesn't matter. If there
Speaker 1: are people that don't like gay people. It does does
Speaker 1: it matter? You know, that's even a better challenge to
Speaker 1: get the people that won't necessarily be predisposed to liking
Speaker 1: you to like you. You know what I mean, you're
Speaker 1: gonna be surprised. A lot of those people are gonna
Speaker 1: like you, and you're not gonna believe it. But in
Speaker 1: order to do that, you just have to start the action.
Speaker 1: And you're a flight attendant. It's a great way to
Speaker 1: practice material on people. You have new people revolving through
Speaker 1: your door or your aluminum can, as you say, which
Speaker 1: is very apt description. I don't know how the fuck
Speaker 1: you guys do that. But you have an audience to
Speaker 1: play with at all times, so you can be practicing
Speaker 1: your material at all times. Like you have all these advantages.
Speaker 1: I think that you're looking at as disadvantages and they're
Speaker 1: not right.
Speaker 3: That makes sense, Sean.
Speaker 5: Where Chelsea is saying you've got an audience on that
Speaker 5: aluminum can, sounds like you also have a huge source
Speaker 5: of your particular comedy.
Speaker 3: I mean you're opening question. You know, I'm a fly
Speaker 3: and I'm on an aluminic can. I served three hundred
Speaker 3: people instead of still can and without saying yes, I'm gay.
Speaker 3: That's already so I was already laughing at that. Just
Speaker 3: your delivery of how you wrote the question, those three
Speaker 3: hundred people, the different idiosyncrasies or the shit they do,
Speaker 3: and you're like, are you kidding me? That sounds like
Speaker 3: great material where you're getting new material with every flight, right,
Speaker 3: So it sounds like maybe just keep an ear open
Speaker 3: for every one of those things. When you get annoyed
Speaker 3: at somebody in seventeen a clockett Ooh, that's gonna be
Speaker 3: a good job.
Speaker 5: Ooh, that's gonna be a good turn of phrase. Oh
Speaker 5: that's I'm gonna use that every time you get annoyed
Speaker 5: at somebody, look at it and go, how could that
Speaker 5: be funny?
Speaker 3: Or how could that?
Speaker 5: That actually could be funny if I'm telling someone else,
Speaker 5: because someone's.
Speaker 3: Gonna go, no shit, I know people do do that.
Speaker 3: They're going to go I didn't know people do that really?
Speaker 5: Oh shit, I think you got great source material in
Speaker 5: all thirty having many.
Speaker 3: Rows of people those three hundred people are sitting in
Speaker 3: That makes sense, Matthew.
Speaker 2: Do you also have some advice on like how Sean
Speaker 2: can reclaim that confidence that he felt the first time
Speaker 2: he performed?
Speaker 3: How do you reclaim account? Look some of it.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna go back to what I was talking about
Speaker 5: my mom with being a queen of denial. A lot
Speaker 5: of it is look I've had thousands of days at
Speaker 5: work where I'm not confident and I'm like, I'm just
Speaker 5: gonna blow through it. I'm gonna make sure one and
Speaker 5: I have to convince myself that eighty percent of me
Speaker 5: doing the job can showing up and just get in there.
Speaker 5: And I've had some of my better performances when I
Speaker 5: was not confident walking the razors bed going man I
Speaker 5: am and then found it in the performance. But showing
Speaker 5: up and going and doing record and what Chelsea was saying,
Speaker 5: you gotta bomb uh huh, no.
Speaker 3: Shit, you know you're gonna have lines of Man. When
Speaker 3: I rehearsed that, I was right on the money.
Speaker 5: Everybody and I and I and I and I waited
Speaker 5: too long or I or I got I got excited
Speaker 5: and I blew through the paws that set up the punchline.
Speaker 3: So what do it the next time? But it's just
Speaker 3: I think getting back out there and doing it and
Speaker 3: doing it the next time and doing it the next time,
Speaker 3: and by practice, when I find you build confidence, when
Speaker 3: you start to get a little better at something you know,
Speaker 3: or even you start to feel a lot of people
Speaker 3: say I don't like what I'm doing, you can start
Speaker 3: to dig it by just purely getting better at something.
Speaker 3: It's fun to get better at something, to improve and
Speaker 3: become more confident in it something you know.
Speaker 1: It's also fun to flip the script of your attitude
Speaker 1: towards it, Like your nervousness can be excitement, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. You can be like, oh, this is great.
Speaker 1: My very first jokes were about waiting tables. When I
Speaker 1: started doing stand up because I was I got a dui.
Speaker 1: I had to go to dui class where they made
Speaker 1: everybody get up and give a speech about their dui.
Speaker 1: And I was so scared shitless of public speaking that
Speaker 1: I would hide in the back of the class, hoping
Speaker 1: this guy wouldn't call on me, And when he did,
Speaker 1: I got up and told my dui story. I was
Speaker 1: twenty one years old, and the whole place was dying laughing,
Speaker 1: and I didn't get off stage. I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: this is fun. And then the dui guy came up.
Speaker 1: He's like, hey, listen, this isn't stand up, Like, this
Speaker 1: isn't a comedy club. Get off the stage. And everyone
Speaker 1: was like, you got to be a stand up comedian
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, that sounds scary, and I
Speaker 1: was like, but I guess I have to. I had
Speaker 1: what are my other options? I mean, what was I
Speaker 1: going to do? I didn't know. I just thought I
Speaker 1: had to be a public person. So I My whole
Speaker 1: material was like people asking me what the specials were
Speaker 1: and me actually saying what I wanted to say to people,
Speaker 1: you know, like as if you're going to even remember
Speaker 1: this fucking meal in seven days, Who gives a shit
Speaker 1: what the specials are? Figure something out? You know, my
Speaker 1: ass in your face is the special Like, I just
Speaker 1: had a whole slew of material about waiting tables. You
Speaker 1: can do exactly the same thing that Matthew said to
Speaker 1: start and launch your creativity, and you're going to naturally
Speaker 1: move and flow and ebb and flow and all the
Speaker 1: things and bomb and succeed. You're gonna have it all,
Speaker 1: but go into it knowing that it's a full breadth
Speaker 1: experience and don't expect everything to just go well. That's
Speaker 1: not the way we grow, right.
Speaker 3: I think that's what's scary is than not doing well.
Speaker 7: It's I think because the first time I did stand up,
Speaker 7: they introduced me and the crowd was applotting, and I
Speaker 7: got up on stage and the very first thing I
Speaker 7: said was I kind of expected that to last a
Speaker 7: little bit longer, and they like started up plotting again,
Speaker 7: and I was.
Speaker 3: Just like, oh shit. They like they're doing what they
Speaker 3: tell them.
Speaker 7: To do, and so it's like this high and I'm like,
Speaker 7: I don't want to like what if I would have
Speaker 7: said that? And then they were just like, yeah, well
Speaker 7: it's not gonna last longer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what if? Because there's there's so many millions
Speaker 1: of other people that have your desire and are doing it,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Maybe not millions, but
Speaker 1: thousands definitely that are doing it. Yes.
Speaker 3: How much of stand up is entertaining yourself?
Speaker 1: A lot? A lot.
Speaker 3: I mean when you think that joke's funny by hook
Speaker 3: by crook f then the crowd they laugh or not
Speaker 3: a lot of times it becomes funnier to them because
Speaker 3: you enjoyed that joke.
Speaker 1: You think it's funny, right, Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3: It's hard to if you don't get the reaction. It's
Speaker 3: hard to relax and go yes, yeah, well clap from
Speaker 3: a center whatever that is. You know. I mean, how
Speaker 3: much is a lot of it is entertaining yourself?
Speaker 1: Well, a lot of it's entertaining yourself. But it's also
Speaker 1: a practice of like I tell stories all the time
Speaker 1: in my personal life, and when I see that they
Speaker 1: get a big reaction, I'm like, oh, that's a story
Speaker 1: for the stage. If you know, my stand up is
Speaker 1: very personal, Your stand up may be very joke oriented,
Speaker 1: but I think anything that comes from your personal truth
Speaker 1: is valuable to creativity. You don't want to pretend you're
Speaker 1: someone you're not you. Obviously, being a stand up relies
Speaker 1: on the audience laughing at some point. You know that
Speaker 1: is part of it. So yes, you want to get there.
Speaker 1: But you know, Matthew and I discussed this a little
Speaker 1: bit earlier. We touched on not taking yourself too seriously.
Speaker 1: You want to take everything seriously. But any moment like
Speaker 1: that is not a life altering changing moment in a
Speaker 1: negative way. It can always be a life altering changing
Speaker 1: moment in a positive way. But a moment on stage
Speaker 1: is just never going to crush you the way that
Speaker 1: you are fearing, like your fear, you're letting you yourself
Speaker 1: be led by fear. Instead, you got to be like
Speaker 1: bring it on, Like, let's bring it on, Let's get
Speaker 1: the scary parts over with, Like the sooner you get
Speaker 1: on stage, and the more you get on stage, the
Speaker 1: quicker all of that stuff is going to be out
Speaker 1: the back door. So like get moving. Yeah that makes sense,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, is there somewhere you
Speaker 1: can go do a set like stand up comedy club
Speaker 1: where you live?
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's a ton of places here in Kansas City
Speaker 7: that have like there's like a week open nights and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, do it. Just start doing it. Makes you
Speaker 1: make us a commitment that you're gonna do it. What
Speaker 1: this week? Next week? When can you get on stage?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I can, I can do next week.
Speaker 1: All right, make that commitment to us and yourself and
Speaker 1: go do it.
Speaker 5: Okay, let me tell you one thing that my mentor
Speaker 5: pinial and my greatest mentor this this woman of nineteen
Speaker 5: years told me, and it was so liberating. Before I
Speaker 5: go every day to every job and then every every
Speaker 5: morning at work.
Speaker 3: But I tell myself, I tell myself, kin, I dare
Speaker 3: you to screw up. Go, I dare you to screw up.
Speaker 3: Dare yourself to screw up. Watch how I found that
Speaker 3: I screwed up less when I dared myself to screw up.
Speaker 3: I dare you to eat shit here. It just kind
Speaker 3: of like pop the bubble and all so much pressure
Speaker 3: is off. I'll give myself there, so try and screw
Speaker 3: up there. I like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even if it goes badly, it's five minutes in
Speaker 2: the beginning, so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: It's just the only thing that matters is you making
Speaker 1: the step in the right direction of what's going to
Speaker 1: really fill your soul up. And it sounds like you
Speaker 1: know what that is. Look at that as a gift
Speaker 1: instead of a negative, and just run towards it, you know,
Speaker 1: And anytime you have a bad set, that's like great,
Speaker 1: because if when you have a bad set, the next
Speaker 1: one's always the best one. I speak from experience. Yeah
Speaker 1: you do, okay, thanks for calling Sean. Good luck break
Speaker 1: a leg, I mean, sorry, good luck.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: By We have one other caller. Her name is Carrie.
Speaker 2: A friend of about sixteen years has recently professed his
Speaker 2: love for me. I've known he's had a crush on
Speaker 2: me for a long time. He always tells me I'm
Speaker 2: his type. With his recent admission of being in love
Speaker 2: with me, I thought, sure, why not, let's try it.
Speaker 2: I warned him that he's setting himself up to get
Speaker 2: hurt and that I may never get the feelings for
Speaker 2: him he has for me, but he wants to try anyway.
Speaker 2: I told him I can't just flip a switch from
Speaker 2: friendship to relationship, so I asked him to court me,
Speaker 2: and he's been trying really hard. The trouble is he's
Speaker 2: not my type. I don't really have a strong physical
Speaker 2: attraction toward him, but the person he is in the
Speaker 2: time we spend together I love. I'm a bit of
Speaker 2: a disaster with dating and have been single most of
Speaker 2: my life. I'm forty eight. My longest relationship of three
Speaker 2: and a half years, was with a woman. Though I
Speaker 2: don't identify as a lesbian, it just felt right at
Speaker 2: the time. I don't know what it is with men.
Speaker 2: I just seem to find fault in all of them
Speaker 2: and end up breaking up with them. So Carrie told
Speaker 2: me that they dated for about a month and she
Speaker 2: finally kissed him or they can and she got the
Speaker 2: ick and didn't want to continue. But I think the
Speaker 2: bigger issue that came out of the conversation is that
Speaker 2: Carrie's having trouble finding chemistry in general with other people
Speaker 2: that she's dating, so I thought we could explore that,
Speaker 2: explore what's wrong with the vibes and what's going on there.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, hi Carrie, Hi, Hi there. This is Matthew mccontay.
Speaker 1: He's our special guest today.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 6: Hi, nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: Hiar And you know Catherine, obviously you guys have spoken.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure. So yeah, so she told
Speaker 6: you that it went sideways.
Speaker 1: Well, you had a kiss, right, that was it?
Speaker 6: Yeah, So we dated for almost six weeks. We tried
Speaker 6: the dating thing, and he was doing because I asked him.
Speaker 6: I told him he has to court me because you know,
Speaker 6: I'm not just going to date him for no reason.
Speaker 6: And yeah, he finally asked me on Valentine's can we kiss?
Speaker 6: And I said sure, And honestly, it was like kissing
Speaker 6: a family member.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, let's go back. You said that you have
Speaker 1: problems with intimacy with men, right, is that what you said?
Speaker 1: Is it men or you don't have problems like that
Speaker 1: with women?
Speaker 6: Well, it's not so much with all men. I'm kind
Speaker 6: of more of the I like the wine, not the
Speaker 6: label kind of thing that said. I've dated way more
Speaker 6: men than women, So I think with men it's just
Speaker 6: I do have some trust issues with men, so it
Speaker 6: is harder for me to get closer to them. I
Speaker 6: also find men over forty extremely needy, and that is
Speaker 6: like one of my least like it's so unattractive to me,
Speaker 6: so that part is hard as well.
Speaker 1: Well. I think if you have self admittingly that you
Speaker 1: have a lot of guardrails up, it's very hard to
Speaker 1: break those down. And I think that should be your
Speaker 1: number one objective right now, because I don't think you
Speaker 1: can probably clearly even kiss this guy while you're looking
Speaker 1: for excuses to not like him, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And I had the last guy I dated, I was
Speaker 1: friends with for fifteen years and was never attracted to him,
Speaker 1: And it took a long time and I did. I
Speaker 1: fell in love with him. I became attracted to him.
Speaker 1: I couldn't even believe it, you know. I said, there's
Speaker 1: no way, there's no way, and then it happened. So
Speaker 1: I don't think a kisses definitively the end or the
Speaker 1: beginning of anything. I think that you have some work
Speaker 1: to do about being open, and not every guy is
Speaker 1: that needy, not every guy is anything. Look at Matthew McConaughey.
Speaker 1: He's sitting here. He just wrote this book. Well, he
Speaker 1: didn't just write this book, but he wrote a book
Speaker 1: that you should read called green Lights. I read it.
Speaker 1: Oh oh great, right, so then you know about green lights,
Speaker 1: yellow lights exactly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're a yellow light right.
Speaker 6: Now, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: That's all right.
Speaker 6: It's nice to hear that, you know, because I know
Speaker 6: with you and Joe you were friends for a long
Speaker 6: time and then so how long did it take for
Speaker 6: you be able to be able to look at him
Speaker 6: that way?
Speaker 1: Well, it's funny you say that because in therapy, when
Speaker 1: I was wrapping up therapy because I needed a break,
Speaker 1: I said, am I supposed to be in a relationship?
Speaker 1: I just don't feel like the relationship type like that.
Speaker 1: It's not I've never been boy crazy, you know. I
Speaker 1: don't go god, you know, like when I'm single, I
Speaker 1: like it. I'm not trying always to find a guy.
Speaker 1: And I just thought, maybe something's off with me. And
Speaker 1: he said, you have too many barriers up. You just
Speaker 1: have roadblocks all around you, he said, and you have
Speaker 1: to strip those away until you're going to see somebody
Speaker 1: for who they are, not what they represent, you know,
Speaker 1: not the fact that he's wearing Prada jumpsuits that make
Speaker 1: me sick, or if we're driving around in Ferraris that
Speaker 1: makes me cringe. Just I had to get past all
Speaker 1: of my bullshit and finally just see him for who
Speaker 1: he was, which is a real person, you know, And
Speaker 1: those things don't define a person. And I understand if
Speaker 1: you don't feel like you have chemistry when you kiss somebody,
Speaker 1: it's hard to even think about kissing them again or
Speaker 1: anything like that. But this feels like it's a good
Speaker 1: opportunity for growth for you in terms of really kind
Speaker 1: of trying to strip away your layers and go into
Speaker 1: things that make you uncomfortable. Not to a degree where
Speaker 1: you have to go of sex with somebody that you're
Speaker 1: not interested in, but to a degree where you're pushing
Speaker 1: yourself to perhaps go out with him again and try
Speaker 1: it again, you know, and if it's not him, another
Speaker 1: guy or another woman like whomever. But as a practice
Speaker 1: for yourself, not necessarily to be in a relationship, but
Speaker 1: in a practice of like tearing down the things that
Speaker 1: go ugh to you. When something says ooh to you,
Speaker 1: or you have that feeling, you've got to make a
Speaker 1: note of it and go, oh, oh, that's that's a
Speaker 1: yellow light. Is that about me? Or is that about
Speaker 1: him or her? Right?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 6: And I'm pretty sure it is about me because you know,
Speaker 6: we have all the things in common. I'm like, if
Speaker 6: this doesn't work, how the hell am I going to
Speaker 6: date anybody else that doesn't have all these boxes ticked?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 6: And it was just kind of that all it's lacking
Speaker 6: is that spark, you know when you kiss somebody and
Speaker 6: then you want to sleep with them. And that was
Speaker 6: kind of like, I don't really want to sleep with you.
Speaker 6: That said, I have slept with him in the past,
Speaker 6: so my bad I maybe sent off wrong signals.
Speaker 1: Well you skip that part exactly.
Speaker 6: So you.
Speaker 3: Know, or not your bad one thing. I hear you,
Speaker 3: I hear you. Kind of keep doing this is what
Speaker 3: Chelsea was saying. You said a minute ago, I like
Speaker 3: the wine, not the label. Yes you're but you are
Speaker 3: labeling exactly what you want and you have your own labels,
Speaker 3: which happens all with maturity. As we mature, we get
Speaker 3: kind of set in our ways and know it needs
Speaker 3: to fit this and this is how I this is
Speaker 3: how my life goes, this is what I expect and
Speaker 3: we're less malleable. And what I hear Chelsea saying, which I.
Speaker 5: Second, is relax your own labels on yourself and the
Speaker 5: boxes that he or any other man needs to absolutely
Speaker 5: fit for you. So maybe just enjoy that one without
Speaker 5: looking at the label a little bit. And I think
Speaker 5: that's what Chelsea's saying is if if it's not just perfect,
Speaker 5: to cut yourself before you go. Wait that that didn't fit,
Speaker 5: that didn't fit, that didn't go exactly how I wanted
Speaker 5: it to be.
Speaker 3: That kiss didn't make me want to go further. Well
Speaker 3: maybe that was all it was needed. Right then, maybe
Speaker 3: start Sometimes you get to know, so you already got
Speaker 3: your eye set with this guy, is that you already
Speaker 3: got a friendship?
Speaker 6: Well not anymore.
Speaker 3: It's not there. Yeah, it was there. The last eighteen
Speaker 3: years are not gone. Whatever y'all formed over eighteen years,
Speaker 3: it's not like whiteouts over it. It's still there. You
Speaker 3: want to rekindle that and go you want to pick
Speaker 3: back up and just go have a freaking cup of
Speaker 3: coffee and not kiss. I want to get back and
Speaker 3: doing some things that we like, we used to like
Speaker 3: to do, just together and just maybe that's maybe restarting
Speaker 3: there and if you know that would if the kiss works,
Speaker 3: it'll probably be the time where he doesn't ask you
Speaker 3: or you don't ask him, and it just happens.
Speaker 1: Exactly and when, And to go back when you were
Speaker 1: asking me about person when it happened. For Joe and me,
Speaker 1: we had hung out for over a year before anything happened,
Speaker 1: And when it happened, I made it happen because then
Speaker 1: it had to come from me. And I would suggest
Speaker 1: hanging out with them with first of all, repair the
Speaker 1: whatever damage has been done, which you can easily do
Speaker 1: over an eighteen year relationship, and say, let's just try
Speaker 1: this again as friends. Let's see if it goes anywhere
Speaker 1: in a more natural progression, because I think if he
Speaker 1: ticks all these boxes a it's worth another go. Do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? You're saying, all he has
Speaker 1: got all these things except for your feelings towards him,
Speaker 1: and that can happen. That comes up for people all
Speaker 1: the time. They fall in love with their friends all
Speaker 1: the time. You can't force it to happen. It has
Speaker 1: to naturally organically happen, and you can continue to spend
Speaker 1: more time together. You don't have to kiss each other
Speaker 1: or fuck each other or whatever, but spend more time
Speaker 1: and see if it happens naturally, and also as a
Speaker 1: test for yourself, also explore that with other people too,
Speaker 1: you know, because I'm glad Matthew said that at the
Speaker 1: wine and the label, because as soon as you made
Speaker 1: that declaration, it was clear that you're doing the opposite
Speaker 1: of what you think you're doing. You don't have to
Speaker 1: make declarations about who you are, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So I think that you might think you're looking at
Speaker 1: the wine and not the label, but it's quite the opposite.
Speaker 6: Right, fair enough? I think right now is good that
Speaker 6: this call worked out when it did, because I was
Speaker 6: actually thinking of writing him a letter because right now
Speaker 6: he's just cut me out of his life completely, unfollowed
Speaker 6: me on duo, Lingo and Goodreads and Facebook and all
Speaker 6: the things that we shared common interest in. And I
Speaker 6: text him and I was like, so my biggest fear
Speaker 6: was losing in the friendship. And he just said, I
Speaker 6: can't be friends with you because I'll always want more.
Speaker 6: And I thought, okay, so you're just willing to throw
Speaker 6: away eighteen years of friendship because your feelings are hurt.
Speaker 6: So it's like at this point, is it crossing a
Speaker 6: line to write them a letter and just be like, hey,
Speaker 6: maybe we didn't try long enough or I don't know.
Speaker 3: At this point, sounds like y'all very similar. Maybe just
Speaker 3: simplify a little bit. And then if you do write
Speaker 3: him a letter, which sounds like you should.
Speaker 5: Because about eighteen years you don't want to throw that
Speaker 5: out like that was a nothing part of your life.
Speaker 3: That was real. Whether it works out for you or not,
Speaker 3: that was real. You built that.
Speaker 5: You don't want to throw that out completely. I mean,
Speaker 5: I even if you do write him letter, be considerate.
Speaker 5: I'm sure he feels like he got bruised or lost
Speaker 5: or made an advance and you had it and then
Speaker 5: you were like, Nope, that's it. He probably feels a
Speaker 5: little embarrassed, a little shame, a little loss, a little
Speaker 5: less just maybe as a friend, go, man, this is
Speaker 5: out made you feel. I didn't mean to hurt you,
Speaker 5: but that's how I felt.
Speaker 3: This is all so damn complicated, And you want to
Speaker 3: go back back back a few months before we for
Speaker 3: that kiss and just start with when we were high
Speaker 3: five and and go have a couple of coffee or
Speaker 3: a walk and start right there with some simple ship
Speaker 3: and maybe maybe cuss each other out and go, this
Speaker 3: fucking made me pissed off and this hurt me. That
Speaker 3: could be it could be fun.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree with that, and I think you
Speaker 1: should definitely write him a letter, but also acknowledge his feelings.
Speaker 1: Definitely acknowledge the fact that he with the way he
Speaker 1: may be feeling right now. But you know, as an
Speaker 1: effort to retain this friendship, you can say, in the
Speaker 1: hopes I want to have these feelings for you, I'm
Speaker 1: willing to like try this again, but we also have
Speaker 1: to be adults, and if it doesn't work out, then
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out. People have been turned down before
Speaker 1: and been able to maintain friendships.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: Obviously he needs a little bit of time to get
Speaker 1: over what he's dealing with. But I think that you
Speaker 1: should really definitely focus on some of the things that
Speaker 1: we said to you about looking within yourself and figuring out,
Speaker 1: you know, what your stipulations and kind of roadblocks have
Speaker 1: been and kind of just try to open them up
Speaker 1: and just kind of be open to whatever. Don't have
Speaker 1: it in your head the way that it looks needs
Speaker 1: to look perfectly right absolutely.
Speaker 4: Well, Carrie, let us know how it goes.
Speaker 1: Okay, for sure, Thanks, Okay, good luck. Forty eight's great.
Speaker 1: I just turned forty eight, and I'm for.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm kind of at that age where it's like,
Speaker 6: you know, I'm not one of those people that is
Speaker 6: desperate to be in a relationship. I actually quite like
Speaker 6: being single. And that's probably part of my problem with dating,
Speaker 6: is like I'll start dating and then I'm like, we're
Speaker 6: actually singles.
Speaker 1: Not so bad.
Speaker 6: So yeah, I'm definitely at forty eight. I'm not even
Speaker 6: at forty eight. I'm not in a rush to get
Speaker 6: into any sort of relationship, but would be nice.
Speaker 1: Okay, take care, nice to speak with you.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 1: Okay, we're running out of time, so we're going to
Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be right back. And
Speaker 1: we're back.
Speaker 4: We're back.
Speaker 1: That was awesome. Matthew McConaughey, you were great. Has predicted. Yes,
Speaker 1: thank you. I'm predicted. So to this event. To Matthew's
Speaker 1: event that he's hosting with Tony Robbins. It is a
Speaker 1: virtual event. It's called Art of Living Live on April
Speaker 1: twenty four.
Speaker 2: Right, so you can go online and register at artoflivinevent
Speaker 2: dot com and sign up. It's actually free to attend,
Speaker 2: so go check it out.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's awesome. It matter So it's all free.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's all free. Oh great and online.
Speaker 1: Okay, awesome. Thanks for sharing today, Thanks for being here,
Speaker 1: Thanks for giving advice to our callers.
Speaker 3: Appreciate it. I enjoyed that.
Speaker 1: Okay, enjoy that sign.
Speaker 3: I have badass today, Matte met too.
Speaker 4: Bye.
Speaker 1: Oh real great episode, fabulous and don't forget everybody. My
Speaker 1: new special Revolution is now streaming on Netflix and it's badass.
Speaker 1: And then I'm doing a tour a little Big Bitch store.
Speaker 1: Go to Chelsea Hamma dot com for tickets. I've added
Speaker 1: some new dates. I added a date in Monticello, New York.
Speaker 1: I'm coming to Colorado to Red Rocks Amphitheater. I'm coming
Speaker 1: to calum the Zoo, and then I'm coming to a
Speaker 1: bunch of places in Tennessee, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. That's
Speaker 1: May nineteenth, twentieth, and twenty first. And then I'll be
Speaker 1: in Atlantic City June tenth, which is almost sold out,
Speaker 1: So get your tickets.
Speaker 2: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email.
Speaker 2: At Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
Speaker 2: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 2: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine Law and
Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
Speaker 2: com