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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Oh hi Chelsea, guys, guess what it's our

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Speaker 1: season finale. It's our season finale. What season are we in?

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Speaker 2: Technically three, but it was sort of like a twice

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Speaker 2: as big season as.

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Speaker 1: The last season.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we just decide when the seasons.

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Speaker 4: Are going to be over. Yeah, podcasting is a wild West.

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Speaker 4: You can kind of do whatever you want.

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Speaker 1: With climate change, it's everything is so unpredictable. So we're

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Speaker 1: applying that line of thinking to podcasting exactly. Yes, this

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Speaker 1: is our last episode of this season and then we

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Speaker 1: will be back shortly for season four or yeah, okay, wow,

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Speaker 1: what a success you guys, it's as success. Yes, four seasons,

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Speaker 1: that's yes, Chelsea.

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Speaker 4: What do you love about the show?

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Speaker 1: There's a lot I love. Oh okay, well, why don't

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Speaker 1: you start.

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Speaker 4: I'll start.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's really become this cool show where like

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Speaker 2: people's lives are being changed, like people are making better choices,

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Speaker 2: we're breaking people up, Like it's so wonderful to see

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Speaker 2: people bond with like you helped me to you know,

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Speaker 2: move my life into a better direction, or you know,

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Speaker 2: get that job, or you know, say no to that

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Speaker 2: mother in law or whatever it is. People are really

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Speaker 2: being filled with joy and also connecting because of the show.

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Speaker 4: It's so exciting.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and it's very nice what Catherine does goes the

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Speaker 1: extra mile above and beyond for a lot of our callers.

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Speaker 1: You know, when somebody reaches out and is interested in

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Speaker 1: hearing more about a certain issue or recommendations, like you

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Speaker 1: really do go the extra mile to make sure people

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Speaker 1: feel like, Okay, we're all in this together and we're

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Speaker 1: helping people, which is so nice. Yeah, I feel the

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Speaker 1: same way. I'm just so happy that people are so impact.

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Speaker 1: I can't tell you how many people come up to

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Speaker 1: me talking about my podcast and saying or our podcast,

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Speaker 1: i should say, saying just how their lives have changed,

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Speaker 1: and that they listen every week. And it's also a

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Speaker 1: really great reminder about humanity and that everybody just really

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Speaker 1: wants needs a little push at some point in their lives.

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Speaker 1: Everybody does, and that's essentially what this is as a

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Speaker 1: shove in the it's like a pep talk. You're getting

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Speaker 1: a pep talk when you're on the fence about something

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Speaker 1: or getting advice about how to handle, you know, a

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Speaker 1: difficult situation in your life. And I think the more

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Speaker 1: adept we become at handling difficulty, the better we are

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Speaker 1: at helping others handle difficulty.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and so many of these are universal truths, Like

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Speaker 2: you know, you can hear something that might not be

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Speaker 2: exactly your situation, but you're able to take a life

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Speaker 2: lesson from that and bring it into your relationship or

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Speaker 2: bring it into your life in a way that's really beneficial.

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Speaker 4: I just think that's really wonderful.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I like helping people. It makes me feel

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Speaker 1: like I have a purpose. Even though I feel like

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Speaker 1: I do have a purpose, it's nice that this is

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Speaker 1: part of my purpose.

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Speaker 4: Yes.

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Speaker 2: My dad always says that we're blessed to be a blessing.

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Speaker 2: And when you have this sort of like overflowing wealth

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Speaker 2: of knowledge or wisdom or whatever, it's really nice that

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Speaker 2: you can share it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I read. Oh, I remember were talking about quote

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Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago on the podcast, something about

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Speaker 1: being a teacher, like when you need the lesson, the

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Speaker 1: teacher will show. When the student needs the lesson, the

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Speaker 1: teacher will appear. Yes, And when the student has learned

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Speaker 1: the lesson, the teacher will disappear. It was something along

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Speaker 1: the line that line. I don't know if it was

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Speaker 1: roomy or if it was someone else, but anyway, that's

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Speaker 1: a very good way to look at people coming in

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Speaker 1: and out of your life. You know, sometimes it takes

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Speaker 1: you a couple times to learn a lesson, and sometimes

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Speaker 1: you can learn it the first time. And so my

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Speaker 1: goal moving on in life is to learn things the

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Speaker 1: first time, the new lessons, not to have to do

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Speaker 1: things on repeat. Yeah, because then you offer yourself up

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Speaker 1: to a new experience the next time and you don't

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Speaker 1: have to repeat that.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely.

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Speaker 2: I used to go to this reiky lady in Oswego, Illinois,

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Speaker 2: and she had said, you know, when you get those

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Speaker 2: taps on the shoulder of a lesson that you're supposed

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Speaker 2: to be learning, that is, you know, your guardian angels

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Speaker 2: trying to help you learn the lesson, and if you

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Speaker 2: don't get it, they're going to tap you a little harder,

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Speaker 2: and they're gonna tap you a little harder, and then

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Speaker 2: eventually it's going to be the tube wife or that

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Speaker 2: you know, sort of hits the upside the hat exactly,

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Speaker 2: and it's just it's sort of how life works. So

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Speaker 2: I love that learning the lesson the first time.

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Speaker 1: Right, Well, when we're young and stupid, it's hard to

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Speaker 1: know that you're even learning a lesson.

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Speaker 4: You just feel the two by four.

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Speaker 1: You're just like, why does this keep happening to me?

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Speaker 1: Why does this keep happening to me? And it's like, no,

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Speaker 1: it's not happening to you. You're happening to it, you know,

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Speaker 1: like you're not changing the way you're thinking about something.

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Speaker 1: So yes, these are all good things to keep in mind.

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Speaker 1: And I want to thank everybody for being such loyal

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Speaker 1: listeners and from your calls and all of it. We

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Speaker 1: just love it, and I'm down.

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Speaker 4: This audience is particularly awesome.

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Speaker 1: Yeah they are. They are, but that's you know what.

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Speaker 1: I have to credit myself with that because my audience

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Speaker 1: has been fucking awesome my whole career. Just bad ass

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Speaker 1: fucking women. Gay men and the straight men that are

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Speaker 1: on board are really on board, and they're the cool

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Speaker 1: kind of straight men, so I'm down with them too.

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Speaker 1: And of course black men. I'm always down with black men.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how many black straight guys are listening,

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Speaker 1: but if you are, hit me up. So what's going on, Catherine?

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Speaker 4: I actually just spent yesterday at Disneyland, so I am.

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Speaker 1: Oh, you know what, go fuck off. I am honest say,

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Speaker 1: I am so sick of your shit, first the Eggs

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Speaker 1: and now Disneyland.

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Speaker 4: I know.

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Speaker 2: And I even wore my new little Mickey shirt that's

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Speaker 2: actually cute, cute.

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Speaker 1: We're at home instead, I'm wearing it. Brad, did you

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Speaker 1: go with her? Are you an accomplice?

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Speaker 4: I did?

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Speaker 1: I am. Yeah, we took our nieces. That's not an

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Speaker 1: excuse you guys. You can try, you can use them escapegoats,

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Speaker 1: but obviously you both wanted to be there. Oh how

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Speaker 1: is your niece?

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Speaker 4: Goat?

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Speaker 1: How's it going so good?

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Speaker 2: I think you having nice conversations with her. Yeah, we're

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Speaker 2: having a really nice time. There are two nieces here,

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Speaker 2: one is fourteen and one is sixteen, and all you

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Speaker 2: have to do is be like, so, what's going on

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Speaker 2: with your friends?

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Speaker 4: And then they go off for an hour on their

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Speaker 4: friend drama?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Great?

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Speaker 2: Right? Right?

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Speaker 1: I kind of like hearing about that drama.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And one of my nieces she's had a new

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Speaker 2: little girlfriend and she's talking all about her relationship and

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Speaker 2: she's so happy and in love, and it's just it's

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Speaker 2: really sweet.

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Speaker 1: It's wonderful.

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Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, I'm just glad they're past the phase

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Speaker 2: where they only eat macaroni and cheese because some delicious

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Speaker 2: street tacos. Yeah, it's cute. They're loving street tacos here

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Speaker 2: in La.

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Speaker 1: Well, what's not to love about tacos? Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it's the best.

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Speaker 4: I'm so excited. So no, we're having a wonderful time

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Speaker 4: with well.

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Speaker 1: My lesbian sister and I she's gonna be a lesbian.

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Speaker 1: When I got done with her, just planned our honeymoon

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Speaker 1: portion of our vacation. I was like, we're all on

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Speaker 1: this email with our Safari guide planning like our African

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Speaker 1: trip because we're taking all our nieces and my ski buddy, Kelly,

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Speaker 1: a different ski buddy than Lindsay. We're taking my ski

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Speaker 1: buddy Kelly and her two twins. I forget their names

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Speaker 1: right now, even though they're my daughters. No one is

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Speaker 1: called Jesse and the other one is called Katie. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: we're all going Charlie, Seneca and Jordan, my three nieces,

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Speaker 1: and my sister, Simone and Kelly and her two girls.

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Speaker 1: And so we're going for two weeks. We're going to

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Speaker 1: Kenya and Tanzania, and then we're Simone and I are

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Speaker 1: going on to a lover's week. It's just the two.

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Speaker 1: She goes, I have a week off after that, do

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Speaker 1: you want to do something? And I was like, you bet,

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Speaker 1: I do. So we're gonna go to Cape Town and

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Speaker 1: we're gonna go to Zanzibar a couple of nights. Very

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Speaker 1: fun and exotic, I know. And she keeps like that.

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Speaker 1: He's like, Okay, here's a villa. I'm like, we don't

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Speaker 1: need a villa for the two of us. She's like, yes,

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Speaker 1: we do. Stay away from me. I make to differing incredible.

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Speaker 1: So I'm excited. I'm going to have a big summer

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Speaker 1: of travel. So we're gonna have to We're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to bank a lot of episodes.

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Speaker 4: Yes, we will do that.

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Speaker 1: Okay. So our next guest is an Academy Award winning

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Speaker 1: actor and the number one New York Times best selling

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Speaker 1: author of Green Lights, Matthew McConaughey.

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Speaker 3: Are we in line and on time?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: We are.

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Speaker 1: Hi, Matthew, I'm great. How are you doing? This is

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Speaker 1: my co host Catherine.

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Speaker 4: Hi, how are you?

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty good?

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Speaker 4: Good?

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Speaker 1: Great, great, Matthew. I am in a state of being

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Speaker 1: blown away because I read your book in the last

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Speaker 1: twenty four hours. I'll be honest, I got it months

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Speaker 1: ago and everybody was talking about it, and just like

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Speaker 1: you describe in the book when you were accusing somebody

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Speaker 1: of not being interested in something, because it was a success,

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Speaker 1: it was popular, everyone was talking about it, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, fuck it, I'll read this later. And

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Speaker 1: I read this yesterday in a day. It is so

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Speaker 1: fucking impressive. I am so blown away by the depth

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Speaker 1: of your humanity, about the depth of your soul searching.

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Speaker 1: It's so a nice for a woman to be able

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Speaker 1: to read a man who speaks and thinks the way

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Speaker 1: that you do. We need more of that, absolutely, and

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Speaker 1: the fact that you are just so in touch with

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Speaker 1: yourself is really remarkable.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Cool, Thank you. That feels good to hear that. Uh,

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Speaker 3: thank you.

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Speaker 1: I bet.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The success of your book must have been a huge

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Speaker 1: boon to you to get all of this out on paper.

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Speaker 1: I mean, how did it feel to get that kind

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Speaker 1: of feedback and that kind of reaction from everything.

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, you put something out, you don't know

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Speaker 3: if it's going to stick or not.

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Speaker 5: And I remember when I started writing it, I was

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Speaker 5: actually found myself writing to try and impress you or

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Speaker 5: an audience right, And then all of a sudden, after

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Speaker 5: a couple of weeks, I was like, that's not the.

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Speaker 3: Way I got to do it.

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Speaker 5: Make this personal for me as possible, and hopefully it

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Speaker 5: make it as entertaining as well, and then if it sticks,

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Speaker 5: it sticks, and I got lucky.

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Speaker 3: It hit a nerve with some people.

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Speaker 5: So the reactions that I've found in travels and emails

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Speaker 5: I've gotten from around the world to say, hey, I

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Speaker 5: saw myself and your stories. Hey, I'm taking more risk

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Speaker 5: to do things in my life that I was afraid

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Speaker 5: to take before. Hey, I'm going to laugh this time

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Speaker 5: when I step in shit instead of thinking, oh my god,

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Speaker 5: it's a crisis.

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Speaker 3: I'm want to come across.

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Speaker 5: Some cautions in life and I'm going to blow through

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Speaker 5: them when I should not give a CRISI so much credit. Well,

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna slow down and take a little inventory, just

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Speaker 5: to hear the feedback.

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Speaker 3: It was. You know, when you put something out you

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Speaker 3: have in your mind which you hope a reaction will be,

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Speaker 3: and if someone says it, you don't say that loud,

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Speaker 3: but if someone says that back to you, You're like, yes,

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Speaker 3: that's what I was hoping, And I got a lot

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Speaker 3: of that from the book, and that that felt really cool.

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Speaker 3: I mean, the writing of it for me was, I'm

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Speaker 3: not a guy who looks in the past.

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Speaker 5: I like to go forward and hey, what's in the background,

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Speaker 5: what's behind the review mirors and the review mirror. So

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Speaker 5: to go back and look at who I was and

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Speaker 5: now I got here, it was fucking embarrassing.

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Speaker 3: I was. I had a lot of shame. I was like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, I can't believe you did that, this

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Speaker 3: and that and the other.

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Speaker 5: But after a few weeks writing, I started to laugh

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Speaker 5: at that shit and started gigging and was like going, well, no, shit, man,

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Speaker 5: you know he's perfect. Yeah, you screwed up. Put that

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Speaker 5: one in there too, put that story in there. And

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Speaker 5: that turned out to be some of people's favorite stuff,

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Speaker 5: is when I'm writing about me stepping and shit, me

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Speaker 5: eating Kroll.

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Speaker 1: You know, yeah, because I think it's very very attractive

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Speaker 1: when people are able to not take themselves so seriously,

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Speaker 1: especially in our industry, because it's a byproduct, right, you

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Speaker 1: have to take yourself seriously at times if you want

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Speaker 1: to get serious about working, or you want to get

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Speaker 1: serious about accomplishing whatever your goals may be so to

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Speaker 1: take yourself seriously and also at the same time not

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Speaker 1: take yourself seriously enough that you can't expose the shortcomings

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Speaker 1: or the embarrassments or the self recrimination.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I like a call that.

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Speaker 5: Hey, I think we should take it all seriously, especially

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Speaker 5: the comedy, especially the screw ups. Take them seriously, do

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Speaker 5: and just own them and go, Yeah, I take that,

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Speaker 5: you know, the comedy of my own life seriously.

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Speaker 3: Do, So let's put that up.

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Speaker 5: I take the times when I eat cro or follow

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Speaker 5: my ass pretty seriously too, and let's just put that

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Speaker 5: out there as well.

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Speaker 3: It was it. Look, it was you've written, you put

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Speaker 3: something down on a page, and you're directing your writing.

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Speaker 3: You're the main character. It's cleansing, I mean, you kind of.

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Speaker 3: It clears up a lot of things.

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Speaker 5: I found out that I remembered a lot more than

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Speaker 5: I gave myself credit for.

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Speaker 3: Meaning.

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Speaker 5: I saw things that I wrote down when I was

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Speaker 5: fifteen twenty twenty five and was going like, oh, you're

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Speaker 5: essentially the same guy, the same person. You've evolved, I believe,

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Speaker 5: I hope so McConaughey, But you're essentially the same person.

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Speaker 5: Oh you do remember that even though I always like

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Speaker 5: to see this. I write things down so I can

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Speaker 5: forget them, so they'll be there. You never do that

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Speaker 5: at the dinner table, and I know when I pull

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Speaker 5: up my phone and I always have to go, hey,

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Speaker 5: I'm not writing somebody else that's not here. I'm actually

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Speaker 5: writing a note of something you just said. And then

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Speaker 5: I'll show it to you and you go, Chelsea, did

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Speaker 5: you say that? And You're like, yeah, I did. I'm

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Speaker 5: writing that down so I can forget it and be

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Speaker 5: present in the situation again, because if I don't write

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Speaker 5: it down, I'm gonna be thinking the whole dinner.

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Speaker 3: Don't forget that thing she said, don't forget that thing

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Speaker 3: she said.

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Speaker 5: And so there was a lot of freedom for me

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Speaker 5: in writing the damn thing and putting it out there.

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Speaker 1: Matthew, are you sitting in front of two flags right now?

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Speaker 3: Yes, we have an America and flag and a Texas flag.

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Speaker 1: I love it. I love it.

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Speaker 6: Well.

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Speaker 1: You were supposed to become the governor of Texas at

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Speaker 1: some point, right.

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Speaker 3: Was supposed to become I considered considered getting in that run.

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Speaker 1: And then decided no, not for you, No, no.

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Speaker 5: No, I don't think that's where I can be most useful.

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Speaker 5: Right now, I'm having too good of a time.

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Speaker 3: I got three kids fourteen, thirteen, ten, and the adventures

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Speaker 3: were going on. I'm not going to get them again,

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Speaker 3: and right now I'm enjoying being a dad, family man.

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Speaker 5: Everyone says it, but it's true. I got seven more

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Speaker 5: years and then they're out on their own, hopefully, And

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Speaker 5: then everyone says, get what you can while they're in

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Speaker 5: the house.

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Speaker 3: Because it doesn't come back. You don't get the time again. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, one of the things that you talk about very

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Speaker 1: emphatically in your book is becoming a father. That was

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Speaker 1: one thing you knew about yourself, you say, is that

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Speaker 1: you knew you wanted to be a father. And that's

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Speaker 1: also a very nice thing to hear a man say,

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Speaker 1: to be that passionate about it. And when you talk

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Speaker 1: about your family, it feels like, you know, we have

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Speaker 1: our first nature, our personality that we're born with, and

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Speaker 1: then we have our second nature, our experiences and the

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Speaker 1: people who raise us and your family sounds a fucking

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Speaker 1: fun and be like, you'll never get away from them

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Speaker 1: for your life. You are part of that ecosystem. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And that it had such such huge influence on you.

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Speaker 1: Your father, your values, your morals, your mother, everything that

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Speaker 1: you've been through, and now as a parent, to try

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Speaker 1: and redistribute that right, that wealth of knowledge, but in

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Speaker 1: a better way. I'm assuming, right, you think you can

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Speaker 1: do almost a better job. Try and see how is

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Speaker 1: that going for you.

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Speaker 5: I'm happy to say I think it's going pretty well.

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Speaker 5: Not making straight a's, but I think it's going pretty well.

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Speaker 5: I've got some considerate children. Hopefully they can get out

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Speaker 5: of the house confident, having an idea of who the

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Speaker 5: hell they are and who they're not. Hopefully they can

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Speaker 5: be conscientious. We I'd like to talk about being a

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Speaker 5: renaissance man or a renaissance woman to my daughter, but hey,

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Speaker 5: you know, serveing them morning, conduct the orchestra at night,

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Speaker 5: be able to go from shirtless and no shoes in

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Speaker 5: the mud to a tuxedo in the same.

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Speaker 3: Day and feel at home in both those places.

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Speaker 5: We're filling their passports, which, as you know, I think

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Speaker 5: is one of one of the best resumes someone can have.

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Speaker 3: You see a full.

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Speaker 5: Passport, you got a pretty good idea that that person

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Speaker 5: has some wisdom of how the world works and how

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Speaker 5: humanity rolls. You know, we got like I said, fourteen, thirteen, ten,

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Speaker 5: we're just getting into those teen years.

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Speaker 3: That's a whole new roller coaster. You know, more rhyme,

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Speaker 3: no less reason.

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Speaker 5: And then when you have kids, I noticed early on

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Speaker 5: that it's more DNA than I thought, meaning I thought.

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Speaker 3: It was before I had kids.

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Speaker 5: I thought it was more the second thing, environment, culture,

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Speaker 5: what you're raised around. And I noticed early on that, oh,

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Speaker 5: these these young people are who they are. I can

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Speaker 5: shepherd them, I can nudge them, I can put in

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Speaker 5: front of them with lights their fire and try to

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Speaker 5: keep them from hurting themselves too bad. But other than that,

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Speaker 5: they are who they are. And so I've had to

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Speaker 5: you know, I use this line when it comes to

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Speaker 5: discipline the family. I'll treat you all fairly, but I'm

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Speaker 5: not going to treat you all the same. And it's

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Speaker 5: a pretty fun one. We have a good time with

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Speaker 5: the fourteen and thirteen. I'm getting to that age where

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Speaker 5: I'm starting to become their buddy a little bit which

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Speaker 5: is cool.

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Speaker 3: Meaning like my daughter will call me over and go.

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Speaker 5: Hey, why I want to talk to you about this thing,

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Speaker 5: and we can just talk where I'm not teaching, I'm

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Speaker 5: not talking as the parent we're just jiving where my

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Speaker 5: son can go flipped on like an NPR the other

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Speaker 5: day and didn't want to listen to music. I want

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Speaker 5: to listen to I'm at fourteen. I'm like, going, and

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Speaker 5: what do you get out of this this talk? He's

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Speaker 5: listening to podcasts and stuff.

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Speaker 3: I'm going, okay, okay. So I'm becoming buddies with the

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Speaker 3: older two right now, which is nice. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think that's the thing that always has scared me

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Speaker 1: about parenting is having to be a teacher for so long.

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Speaker 1: That always has been like, oh god, so many questions

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Speaker 1: that I probably don't have the accurate answers to.

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Speaker 3: Well.

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Speaker 5: And the other thing is you get that thing that

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Speaker 5: happens as parents is they'll ask you that question. Like,

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Speaker 5: for instance, I got one of the book where my

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Speaker 5: eldest son comes to me and goes, why is before

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Speaker 5: Camilla and I were married?

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Speaker 3: He comes to mean goes, why isn't mama Alma Conaughey. Well,

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Speaker 3: those are those questions where as a parent, you know,

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Speaker 3: I better have a fucking good answer for this because.

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Speaker 5: What I say right now is going to be branded

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Speaker 5: in their mind. Or they ask you a big world

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Speaker 5: question and you go as a parent, and you may

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Speaker 5: be tired.

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Speaker 3: May you may have had a couple of drinks. It's

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Speaker 3: late at night, and you go like, whoop, I better

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Speaker 3: have a good answer for this one, because what I

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Speaker 3: say right now they're going to remember forever.

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Speaker 1: And the good answer, well, the good parenting is actually

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Speaker 1: going and finding that answer, which resulted in you marrying

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Speaker 1: your wife, right because had he not positive that question

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Speaker 1: to you, who knows when you guys would have gotten

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Speaker 1: married if maybe ever or not ever.

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Speaker 3: I might have might have sat there and stayed in

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Speaker 3: neutral and not set a date. But that did give

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Speaker 3: me a kick in the backside to go, you know what,

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Speaker 3: everything's going great right now, but let's gold and take

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Speaker 3: this to another level and started starting a new commitment

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Speaker 3: and adventure together.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Well with this book has led to a

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Speaker 1: very unexpected event, probably unexpected for you too to a

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Speaker 1: certain degree. You're doing a live event with Tony Robbins

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Speaker 1: and some other people, Tony Robbins being probably the most

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Speaker 1: notable one. And it's called the Art of Living. So

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Speaker 1: let's talk about it. What are you.

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Speaker 3: Gonna be on the end? Because life's subverb.

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Speaker 1: That's right, Yeah, that's how we say it now living living,

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Speaker 1: not living.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So Tony and Dean read the book, liked the

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Speaker 3: approach and came to me and said, look, it's a

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Speaker 3: great approach book. Do you want to dig deeper and

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Speaker 3: maybe make it more show the process so people can

436
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Speaker 3: more personally may have some transformation. And I was like,

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Speaker 3: I'd love to And they're great at that. So that's

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Speaker 3: what we're doing.

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Speaker 5: On April the twenty fourth, we're going to go live

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Speaker 5: the two of them, myself, Trent Shelton, Mary for Lee,

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Speaker 5: and we're gonna get under the hood of green lights.

442
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,840
Speaker 5: How share how you can if anyone out there can

443
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,080
Speaker 5: make it personal to their lives, how they can we

444
00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,199
Speaker 5: can understand if we're at a green light on our

445
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,440
Speaker 5: highway of life, you know, when things are rolling and

446
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 5: we can't do no wrong, how do we trust that

447
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 5: green light that it's one that's gonna that that's one

448
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:10,920
Speaker 5: that's gonna last longer and feed us for longer.

449
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,120
Speaker 3: What do we do with a yellow light? Those pauses

450
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,720
Speaker 3: in life where we're like, I gotta I gotta hitch

451
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,879
Speaker 3: in my giddy up a little bit, I gotta reconsider

452
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,359
Speaker 3: what do we do? Do we do we pause and

453
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,440
Speaker 3: have a look over our shoulder and go, I'm gonna

454
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 3: have a look for the first time. Why I keep

455
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 3: stepping in that same pile of shit? Or do we

456
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:28,359
Speaker 3: say no, I'm gonna blow this.

457
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:29,880
Speaker 5: I'm gonna put the pedal to the metal and blow

458
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,600
Speaker 5: this yellow light life because I'm not gonna give the

459
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 5: crisis credit because what comes after the yello the red light,

460
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:38,359
Speaker 5: and that's the big crisis is like pain, loss, Things suck,

461
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 5: They feel like that ends. I have learned, and I

462
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,160
Speaker 5: think it's true for everybody that there is a gift

463
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,119
Speaker 5: in those red lights. I'm sure y'all get in times

464
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 5: your life fore like there is nothing I can get this,

465
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,159
Speaker 5: this sucks. There's no lesson in this when you're in it,

466
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,119
Speaker 5: and then later on go, oh I did get something

467
00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 5: from that red light.

468
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 3: Oh there was a gift in that.

469
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:02,479
Speaker 5: So we're going to get under the hood of all

470
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 5: that to make that practical for people to go, how

471
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,440
Speaker 5: do I assess my green, yellow, and reds in life?

472
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 5: We're going to talk about defining more. You know, you

473
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 5: hear it all the time people I want more, I

474
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 5: want more, but we kind of we forget to say more.

475
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 5: What you know, it's like we want to be relevant,

476
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 5: relevant for what define our more. First, admit some some truths,

477
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 5: admit some lies that we that we tell and we

478
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 5: believe in our lives, so we can kind of be

479
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 5: more ourselves.

480
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,159
Speaker 3: Which you've done a really great job of that, Chelsea.

481
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,160
Speaker 5: I mean you've gone said it seems from the outside

482
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,440
Speaker 5: that you've done a really good job of being yourself.

483
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,920
Speaker 5: So by hook or by crook, whether what you put

484
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 5: out considered works or doesn't is seen or sells or does,

485
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,320
Speaker 5: it doesn't seem like you've been someone who's like, well,

486
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,919
Speaker 5: I sold out and I took a chance and I

487
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,880
Speaker 5: was somebody I wasn't And that always feels better, I know.

488
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 3: For me, and I think it does for everybody. If

489
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 3: you can do something authentically as you're if it works out,

490
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,439
Speaker 3: hell yeah great. But if it doesn't, you don't feel

491
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 3: like like you sold out to try and sell something

492
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 3: that wouldn't ourselves. So we're going to talk about all

493
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 3: those kind of things and trying to make them practical,

494
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,280
Speaker 3: transformational for people.

495
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:14,600
Speaker 6: Yeah.

496
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,640
Speaker 1: I related to so much of everything that you wrote

497
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 1: in the book because you have honored yourself in so

498
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,879
Speaker 1: many different ways in your career and your personal life,

499
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,080
Speaker 1: with your relationship with your family, and that honor, that

500
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,480
Speaker 1: kind of self value, self honor, self respect and respect

501
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,640
Speaker 1: for others, because I don't really think you can respect

502
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,879
Speaker 1: other people until you truly respect yourself, right, And I

503
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,680
Speaker 1: think that the way that you demonstrate in the book,

504
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,679
Speaker 1: like the times were like, as one example, just walking

505
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:44,120
Speaker 1: away from romantic comedies, which was a fruitful and money

506
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 1: and everything that you could ask for that would make

507
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 1: a regular person, would make them think that they could

508
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,520
Speaker 1: be happy and exist on that for the rest of

509
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,560
Speaker 1: their life, eating popcorn and not desiring anything beyond that popcorn.

510
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,119
Speaker 1: And you said no, and you were offered lots of money,

511
00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: and you still said no, I'm not doing that anymore.

512
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. And you waited, and you waited.

513
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 1: And I think the key ingredient for so many people

514
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 1: who want to take risks, who don't think they have

515
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 1: the courage or the balls or whatever you want to

516
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 1: call it, is because it's just patience, you know, it's

517
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 1: really it takes balls, but it takes patience and knowing

518
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: that you have to trust yourself, knowing that you are

519
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 1: the person that you can trust.

520
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, can you believe in those times? That time is

521
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,160
Speaker 5: actually on your side.

522
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:33,679
Speaker 3: It's tough. Yes on the clock's taken, man. And then

523
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 3: we make these plans.

524
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 1: And then you have babies that you have to support and.

525
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 5: They're going or I have a friend who's like to

526
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 5: get it planned out. At thirty, I'm going to meet

527
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 5: the woman for me. At thirty five, I'll be married

528
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 5: and have kids. At forty, they'll be here thirty. He

529
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,639
Speaker 5: didn't meet the girl thirty five, he didn't have the family.

530
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 5: He started getting anxious. You know, I write about it

531
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 5: in the book. Before I met Camilla, I was on

532
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 5: the hunt. I was looking for the possibility of my

533
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 5: at every red light, in every produce section. Oh there's

534
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,439
Speaker 5: an angle maybe. And I was trying. I was not

535
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 5: being myself. I was not content with myself to be patient.

536
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 3: And then once I became that man and sat back

537
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 3: and trusted and was patient that, hey, I don't have

538
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,399
Speaker 3: to keep looking. I'll find it if I quit looking

539
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,640
Speaker 3: so hard. Well, that's when she showed up. I mean,

540
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 3: with the career that two years that I took off,

541
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 3: I got wildly. I'd like to say it.

542
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 5: That old bottle of my favorite spirit over there on

543
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 5: the counter started looking a little bit better. Earlier in

544
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 5: the day, I was like, I would lack purpose, I

545
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 5: didn't have significance.

546
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 3: I was like, what am I doing.

547
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,679
Speaker 5: I considered other vocations, like maybe I wrote a one

548
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:42,280
Speaker 5: way ticket.

549
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 3: Out of Hollywood.

550
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,679
Speaker 5: I got to find another job, another career, and I

551
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 5: hung in there. Luckily I had Camilla by my side,

552
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 5: sitting and going like, this is non negotiable. We made

553
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 5: this choice, and we know it's true to your soul,

554
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 5: so we're not going back. And there was never a

555
00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:00,880
Speaker 5: choice of going back, but it was. It was spooky,

556
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 5: and then all of a sudden that patience paid off.

557
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,120
Speaker 3: All of a sudden, I was gone from Hollywood enough

558
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 3: to become a new good idea for the dramas I

559
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:11,879
Speaker 3: wanted to do in the phone rang for that, and

560
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,640
Speaker 3: all of a sudden went and did all the things

561
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 3: that I'd been wanting to do that that the Hollywood

562
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 3: was not offering me years before.

563
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, we got the maconnaissance. Yeah, the maconnaissance. That's great?

564
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 1: Is that a term?

565
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 3: Or Oh?

566
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 4: No, I wish I had probably People magazine or something.

567
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 3: I tell you the story about that.

568
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: No, tell us check this out.

569
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 3: This jeez. It was some self marketing. So I'm gonna

570
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 3: tell you ride and I think I was there with

571
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 3: the movie.

572
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 5: I'd done mud and something else, and uh, the guy

573
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 5: in this interview is going, I mean that you're you're.

574
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 3: Like a really roll right now. Man? You did this

575
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 3: and this this is like it needs a name or something.

576
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 3: I went, yeah, you know, I was talking to this

577
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 3: guy a minute ago and he actually called it the mcconaugh's.

578
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 4: Incredible.

579
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 3: I threw it out there right and he goes, manaissance.

580
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 3: I love that you like that. Yeah, it sounds good man.

581
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 3: So I snuck it. Then some abition didn't stick. I've

582
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 3: made that up in one interview, and it's stuck. I

583
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 3: gave it at a little song title, a little album.

584
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,400
Speaker 1: I like the idea of coining a phrase about yourself.

585
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: I like that a lot.

586
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 2: I was like, most people can't give themselves a nickname,

587
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 2: but no, you deserve.

588
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 3: Beyond stuck the I got the wine.

589
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 4: Love it.

590
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, Matthew, first let me ask you something before

591
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:37,440
Speaker 1: we start with our callers. Have you been to therapy?

592
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 3: No? Wow, I have not been to therapy. I got

593
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 3: nothing against therapy. You know, I was writing about this yesterday.

594
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 3: So we go to therapy and again I had nothing

595
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 3: against it. I've seen it really work for people, and

596
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,160
Speaker 3: I might want to go and need to go later

597
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 3: in my life.

598
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 5: But we go to therapy and we learned to get

599
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 5: objective about ourselves, right, We go to therapy and we

600
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 5: learn to see, like, hey, or who we think we are,

601
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 5: what we're actually putting out is what we're putting out there?

602
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 5: Is that what the world's receiving or is there a

603
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 5: big gap between those?

604
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,160
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Are we living a life

605
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 3: where the rubber meets the road. And it's great because

606
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 3: you get an objective sort of third eye, a Google

607
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 3: eye to the world of what we're doing.

608
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 5: But I do think we have to watch with too

609
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 5: much objectivity of awareness of like, well, how is what

610
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:27,239
Speaker 5: we're doing landing? Well, how is it being is it

611
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 5: being received? We have to watch because it's.

612
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,360
Speaker 3: Good if it leads us back to being more subjective.

613
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 5: Meaning what's great is when you just you're not even

614
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,199
Speaker 5: being objective at all. You're just being the subject in

615
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,919
Speaker 5: your life and you're just doing it and it happens

616
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:41,880
Speaker 5: to be reciprocating.

617
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 3: That's green lights in life. You know, that's great when

618
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 3: it rolls that way and we all need to hop

619
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 3: back and go, hey, let's be considerate and have a

620
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 3: little check out context to the situation. That's that awareness

621
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 3: of objectivity.

622
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:56,439
Speaker 5: But I do think we have to watch the rabbit

623
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,879
Speaker 5: hole of going and trying to be too objective for

624
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 5: too long forget to be the subjects in our life.

625
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 5: So if therapy leads us back to being a better subject,

626
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 5: a better, better individual without being sort of eating conscious

627
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 5: of what we're doing or what we're what we're doing,

628
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,880
Speaker 5: how it's landing, I think it's I think it's very helpful.

629
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hear what you're saying, because when you have

630
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 1: too much self awareness, it's almost like you're not even

631
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 1: in the moment because you're analyzing everything you're doing and

632
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: how it's being perceived by others. That's definitely a struggle

633
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 1: I had coming out of therapy. I'm like, fuck, I mean,

634
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:31,880
Speaker 1: when am I going to be able to go back

635
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: to me instead of making sure I'm making sure everyone's

636
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 1: okay around my behavior?

637
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 5: It can just be paralysis of analysis almost. It can

638
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 5: immobilize us, you know.

639
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 3: I mean, look, I got a mother who ninety one,

640
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 3: and she's a great example of the value of denial.

641
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 3: If you actually commit to it. Okay, if you really

642
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 3: commit to it. She looks. She's not shallow. She is

643
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 3: not a yellow person. But I asked her about four

644
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 3: years ago. She's wild ass, rebel, outlaw, and she was.

645
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 5: Doing all these things that were the opposite of what

646
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 5: she had raised me and my two.

647
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 3: Brothers to do. We're like, I was like, mom, come on,

648
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 3: no one forgives you themselves quicker than you. I was like,

649
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 3: don't you have anything at the end of the night,

650
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 3: we like you go, oh, I need to do that better.

651
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 3: I need to work on that. And she was like, oh, honey,

652
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 3: every night I go through a mental list twenty five things,

653
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,240
Speaker 3: the things that I could do better, things that I

654
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 3: want to improve on. I go, oh, okay, good, she goes,

655
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 3: you know, Matthew, But the thing is, when I wake

656
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 3: up in the morning, I forgot them all. She just

657
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 3: rolls like that, And like I said, she's.

658
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 5: Not shallow, but she's there's a beauty in her inconsideration.

659
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 5: What bruises others tickles her, and she she is proof

660
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 5: that there's a loophole in the Golden rule. Doing others

661
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 5: you'd have been doing to you. Well, not everyone wants

662
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 5: to do what you want to do. But she just

663
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 5: ninety one. She just rolls, and she's been doing that

664
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 5: kind of all her life. And it's pretty awesome to

665
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 5: see that simplicity because she's not objective at all. She

666
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:07,720
Speaker 5: takes no context, she has no a lack of consideration,

667
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 5: and it could be a real pain in the ass sometimes,

668
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 5: but ninety percent of the time it's like, go, girl,

669
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 5: go get it, keep doing what you're doing.

670
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a real renegade, as your father was as well.

671
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Okay, So on that note, we are going

672
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: to Catherine. You're gonna tell help what we have in

673
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 1: store for Matthew today.

674
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 2: Absolutely, we've got some crises of conscience in here. We've

675
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 2: got some confidence issues, some what am I doing next

676
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 2: in my life? Okay, So we'll take a quick break

677
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 2: and we'll be right back, and we're back.

678
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 4: We're past.

679
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 6: Well.

680
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: Our first question.

681
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 2: Comes from Sage. Sage says, dear Chelsea, I am desperate

682
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 2: for your help. I feel like I've been stuck in

683
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 2: this identity crisis for years. I've lost sight of not

684
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 2: only who I am, but what's important to me. I

685
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 2: feel like I spend every day going through the motions,

686
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden years have passed. I came

687
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 2: to the realization the other day that I don't actually

688
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 2: enjoy my life.

689
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 4: I just get through the days. I feel like I'm.

690
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 2: Waiting for that light bulb moment or some type of

691
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 2: epiphany to wake me up. But I also understand that's

692
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 2: not realistic. How do I start enjoying life again, liking

693
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 2: who I am, not caring what others think, taking chances,

694
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 2: and living a life of happiness and purpose. I suppose

695
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 2: I don't even know where to start. I'm twenty seven now,

696
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 2: and I know that I'm wasting my youth being lost,

697
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 2: and I don't want any more excuses. I'm ready to

698
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 2: live a life I'm proud of and that's true to me.

699
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 2: But how do I figure out what that is? Thanks

700
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 2: in advance stage, I'm going.

701
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 1: To let Matthew take this from the top because he

702
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 1: seems to be on a real role, and then I'll

703
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 1: follow up after. I just want to say everyone feels

704
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 1: like this at some point in their life, if not

705
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: multiple times in their life, so just know A this

706
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 1: is not uncommon and you are not alone. Matthew. Why

707
00:30:58,400 --> 00:30:59,640
Speaker 1: don't you go first?

708
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,959
Speaker 5: Well, thanks for saying that first, Chelsea, because that is

709
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 5: such we bypass that as far as helping somebody out

710
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 5: by going hey, just to know it's not a singular experience.

711
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 5: Just to know that, oh hey, me too, helps so much.

712
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 3: It sort of just flattens the everything and takes the

713
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 3: air out of the pressure.

714
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 5: So way to start that office saying hey, you're not alone. Look,

715
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 5: I'd say this a lot of this. We all want

716
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 5: to talk about who am I, what's my purpose? What

717
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 5: am I going to do? And we're trying to look

718
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 5: for that first. Don't look for that first, start with

719
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 5: something much easier. Because knowing who you are is fucking hard.

720
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 5: Knowing who you're not is easier. So start off with

721
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 5: process of elimination. Start eliminating the things in your life.

722
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 5: Says that don't pay you back, the people, the places.

723
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 3: The things that you're doing, what do you eat, drink,

724
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 3: whatever your habits that you know what. They may feel

725
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 3: good at the moment, but the.

726
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 5: Next day they kind of give you a hangover, or

727
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 5: they didn't pay you back.

728
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 3: You were in the debit section the next day, you

729
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 3: felt like less.

730
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 5: After you left that group of friends that maybe talked

731
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 5: about certain things that well maybe we're funny at the time,

732
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 5: it made you feel like a heel when you left.

733
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 5: Start eliminating those things. So by process of elimination, when

734
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 5: we get rid of the things in our life that

735
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 5: don't pay us back, that don't feed more of who

736
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 5: we are by sheer mathematics, you end up with more

737
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 5: room for the things that will feed you and we'll

738
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 5: pay you back.

739
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 3: Line up in front of you. So start with eliminating

740
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 3: who you're not to get to who you are.

741
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that a lot. I also would like

742
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: to say, you know, when you're having all these kinds

743
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 1: of feelings that aren't giving you positive vibes, right, the

744
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 1: important thing, I think the first thing that you need

745
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 1: to do is learn how to get really still and

746
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: get really quiet so that you can understand exactly what

747
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 1: your desires are and what and how you want to.

748
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 1: You know, what makes you excited, what gets your part

749
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: rate up, what gives you excitement when you think about fashion,

750
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: or do you think about television, or you think about

751
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 1: like what is your retail, whatever it is, there's no

752
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: judgment on it. It's whatever your desire is. What draws

753
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 1: your attention, what keeps you interested, what helps you stay

754
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 1: focused when you're on that subject matter, Like, those are

755
00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 1: the things that you need to find out about yourself.

756
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: And the way to do that is to really kind

757
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: of go within. You have to be still with yourself.

758
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 1: You have to give yourself like space and time to

759
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 1: be quiet, to not have noise around you, to not

760
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 1: have influence around you, to really sit down with a book,

761
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 1: sit down by yourself, sit down to reflect, to meditate,

762
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 1: however you want to frame that. But it's about the

763
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: inner desires because your body will speak to you. You

764
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: will speak to yourself when you've given the time to

765
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 1: do that, Like it's a matter of self respect in

766
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 1: a way, you're allowing your body and your mind to

767
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 1: tell you what they want. And this is all going

768
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: to sound very spiritual and big worldy to you if

769
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 1: you haven't done this yet, but I promise you, if

770
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: you make this a practice of just trying to get

771
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: in touch with yourself, there will be a voice inside

772
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 1: your head that is on your team, that is going

773
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: to direct you and tell you. Just like there's always

774
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 1: a voice telling you that you're not good enough, that

775
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: you're not smart enough, that you're not brave enough. There's

776
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 1: a voice your real voice that is centered, that will

777
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 1: guide you. And you have to trust that that intuition,

778
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 1: that self, knowing it's there for each one of us.

779
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,280
Speaker 1: And the only times we get separated from that voice

780
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 1: is when we're not focused and we're not centered, and

781
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: it's easy to disengage, but it's it's easy also to

782
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 1: get back on the track. You know, it doesn't take

783
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 1: that as much as you think it's going to take.

784
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: And obviously I can't tell you what your purpose is.

785
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: You're going to have to find out what your purpose

786
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 1: is for yourself. But the more time you spend with

787
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 1: yourself with less noise around you, the more in tune

788
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: you're gonna get with yourself and you're going to understand

789
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: what you need to do to move the ball forward

790
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: in a direction that's going to make you excited about

791
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 1: your life. And also understand that you're not always going

792
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 1: to be excited about your life, but you want to

793
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 1: be optimistic about your life, and you want to be

794
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 1: you know, challenging yourself and going to new areas and

795
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: doing things that scare you or that you can't and

796
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 1: taking risks. You know, all of these things are part

797
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,719
Speaker 1: of the equation. So I would start by doing that.

798
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,280
Speaker 1: You know, if it's meditation, then make it a meditation.

799
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 1: But give yourself some time each morning or each day

800
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 1: whenever you can, twenty minutes and just be still and

801
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 1: sit in a garden or buy trees in nature and

802
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 1: just sit with yourself. And you're going to come up

803
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:33,359
Speaker 1: with more answers than you would ever even believe that.

804
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,759
Speaker 3: Twenty minutes if you hadn't done it. It feels like

805
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 3: hours when you first start. But don't pull the parachute.

806
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 3: Don't back out. What Chelsea says, right, stick with it.

807
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 3: It gets easier and easier.

808
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 5: But when you first do it, you will not like

809
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 5: the company. Every time I go off on the mown,

810
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 5: I do not like the company. I cannot stand the

811
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 5: dialogue that's going on, man, But be stick with it

812
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 5: through that time.

813
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 3: What do you end up realizing?

814
00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: You realize that you're the best company. You're the only

815
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 1: company that can't get rid of.

816
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 3: So we've been trying to freaking get alone.

817
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally so fun. It's so true, it's so

818
00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 1: fucking true. I mean, I can't tell you how noisy

819
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 1: my life was for so long until I did this,

820
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 1: and I hated the company. I was like, you're so annoying, ugh,

821
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,240
Speaker 1: this this, and then I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

822
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: I only want to hang out with you, like you're

823
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: the best company, you know what I mean. Even when

824
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 1: I go skiing. Now, I'm like, I try not to

825
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:29,240
Speaker 1: let my friends know, Like when I'm in my skills,

826
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 1: I try not to let my friends know because I

827
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: want at least a few runs by myself. And they

828
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 1: can never understand why I want to ski alone. I'm like,

829
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,240
Speaker 1: because it's fucking more fun to be by myself sometimes

830
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 1: than to be around other people. So anyway, start doing

831
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 1: that stage stage right, yes see, yes, keep in touch

832
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 1: with us and connect with us. And when you've had

833
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 1: a little bit of an awakening, I guarantee you it's coming.

834
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 1: Just have faith in the knowledge of yourself and just

835
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 1: start practicing some alone time and real thoughtfulness, and I

836
00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: promise you you're gonna get where you want to go.

837
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

838
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Like this is what happens at times in your life,

839
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 2: but especially when you're twenty seven. Like twenty seven, everybody

840
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,800
Speaker 2: feels this way because you're in this like croux between

841
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 2: the young adulthood that you've just been in and like

842
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 2: adult adulthood, and it's just a weird flection point where

843
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 2: you feel so much change.

844
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,479
Speaker 1: And I think all the sevens are like that. Twenty seven,

845
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,359
Speaker 1: thirty seven, forty seven, there's something about and I think

846
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:27,800
Speaker 1: in Judaism. Yeah, seven is a number where pivotal things happen.

847
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 1: So it's it's all good run towards it. It's all good,

848
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 1: exciting because new things are going to happen.

849
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 4: Yep.

850
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 2: Well, our next question comes from Sean. Sean says, dear Chelsea.

851
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 2: I'm a thirty seven year old flight attendant from Kansas City, Missouri.

852
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,479
Speaker 2: It goes without saying that I am, of course gay.

853
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,800
Speaker 2: I've been a flight attendant for five years and people

854
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 2: always say, oh, what a dream job, or that's what

855
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:54,560
Speaker 2: you were meant to do. I enjoy the perks of

856
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 2: my job, but have you met people? I have to

857
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 2: deal with almost three hundred of them for eight hours

858
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 2: inside in a lowe when I'm can No one dreams

859
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:05,920
Speaker 2: about that. Sure, being in Paris or Amsterdam weekly is great,

860
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,240
Speaker 2: but I know this is not viable for the long term.

861
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 2: I've thought about taking flight lessons to become a pilot,

862
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 2: but that still feels like settling several years ago, some

863
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:17,280
Speaker 2: friends who did stand up informed me that I was funny.

864
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 2: I legitimately had no idea due to my penchant for

865
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 2: thinking I have no valuable skills. They asked me to

866
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:25,800
Speaker 2: do a little set at their show and I agreed. Well,

867
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 2: I killed it. I felt like I was in the

868
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 2: right place For the first time, they laughed when they

869
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:31,200
Speaker 2: were supposed to.

870
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 4: They clapped.

871
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,319
Speaker 2: It was amazing. I did it again and I didn't

872
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 2: do as well, but still pretty good. Now it's been

873
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 2: years since I've done it. Because I'm so scared of

874
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,399
Speaker 2: being disliked, I would be stuck doing open mic nights

875
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 2: in Kansas City. I'm scared of not only doing poorly,

876
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 2: but I'm also nervous about the rednecks hating me just

877
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 2: because I'm gay. Plus I'm burnt out, so I just

878
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 2: don't feel funny or creative. How do I move through

879
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 2: the stress and bullshit to get back to a place

880
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 2: where I can be funny and confident. I know I'm

881
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,200
Speaker 2: still young, but I would hate to look back on

882
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 2: my life and regret never doing anything that was actually difficult.

883
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 2: I just finished Your Special Revolution, available now on Netflix,

884
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 2: and it just solidified that I want to do what

885
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 2: you do, Chelsea. I want to make people laugh and

886
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 2: find a way to find humor in this craziness. Thank

887
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 2: you for being you, and I promise you really are

888
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 2: changing the world.

889
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:21,359
Speaker 4: Sean Hi, Sean Hi Hi.

890
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 1: Our special guest today is Matthew mccaughaughey.

891
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 3: What a shree Oh my gosh, him, I know, I know.

892
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 1: Look how cute you look too.

893
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 2: How are you?

894
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:32,399
Speaker 7: My god?

895
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:33,439
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

896
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:35,879
Speaker 4: Get this gorgeous hair.

897
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 7: I'm great.

898
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:37,800
Speaker 3: How are you guys?

899
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm great. You met Catherine obviously, this is I'm

900
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:44,319
Speaker 1: my co host. Well, it's nice to meet you, you too,

901
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm going to go first, Matthew. Okay, I'm

902
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,800
Speaker 1: going to just since this is a stand up comedy

903
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:53,280
Speaker 1: question and you just watched my special, and I've felt

904
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 1: like you before at different times in my life where

905
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 1: I'd had no creativity, I didn't know if I was funny,

906
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: I didn't care, I didn't want to work, blah blah blah.

907
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: I understand what you're feeling. You have to understand a

908
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,439
Speaker 1: how lucky and fortunate you are to know what lights

909
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 1: you up. That's what every person is looking for. Our

910
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: last caller was trying to find that light. You know

911
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,920
Speaker 1: what lights you up, you know what makes you feel

912
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 1: something that you really want to feel in this life.

913
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 1: And that's the biggest thing, you know what I mean?

914
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:21,600
Speaker 1: You know that now you just have to walk that

915
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 1: avenue to get where you're going. And that's easier than

916
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 1: you ever thought it was. Yes, you're gonna bomb, You're

917
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 1: gonna do badly. People aren't gonna always like you. That's

918
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 1: not the point. The point isn't to get everybody to

919
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 1: like you or to succeed all the time, because there's

920
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 1: no growth or learning in either of those things. That's

921
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 1: just a cherry, you know, like that's oh great, I

922
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:43,320
Speaker 1: have that moment. It also doesn't last forever. The idea

923
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: is to get really just better incrementally at something, And

924
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,839
Speaker 1: in order to get better at something and to make

925
00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 1: a career out of it, you need to fucking start

926
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: doing it. So you have to start performing. It doesn't

927
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:57,439
Speaker 1: matter if there are rednecks, It doesn't matter. If there

928
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 1: are people that don't like gay people. It does does

929
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 1: it matter? You know, that's even a better challenge to

930
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: get the people that won't necessarily be predisposed to liking

931
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 1: you to like you. You know what I mean, you're

932
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,320
Speaker 1: gonna be surprised. A lot of those people are gonna

933
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,319
Speaker 1: like you, and you're not gonna believe it. But in

934
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 1: order to do that, you just have to start the action.

935
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,719
Speaker 1: And you're a flight attendant. It's a great way to

936
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 1: practice material on people. You have new people revolving through

937
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,320
Speaker 1: your door or your aluminum can, as you say, which

938
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,359
Speaker 1: is very apt description. I don't know how the fuck

939
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 1: you guys do that. But you have an audience to

940
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 1: play with at all times, so you can be practicing

941
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 1: your material at all times. Like you have all these advantages.

942
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 1: I think that you're looking at as disadvantages and they're

943
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:38,879
Speaker 1: not right.

944
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:40,760
Speaker 3: That makes sense, Sean.

945
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 5: Where Chelsea is saying you've got an audience on that

946
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:47,720
Speaker 5: aluminum can, sounds like you also have a huge source

947
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 5: of your particular comedy.

948
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 3: I mean you're opening question. You know, I'm a fly

949
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 3: and I'm on an aluminic can. I served three hundred

950
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 3: people instead of still can and without saying yes, I'm gay.

951
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,319
Speaker 3: That's already so I was already laughing at that. Just

952
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:05,120
Speaker 3: your delivery of how you wrote the question, those three

953
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 3: hundred people, the different idiosyncrasies or the shit they do,

954
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,360
Speaker 3: and you're like, are you kidding me? That sounds like

955
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:17,280
Speaker 3: great material where you're getting new material with every flight, right,

956
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,720
Speaker 3: So it sounds like maybe just keep an ear open

957
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 3: for every one of those things. When you get annoyed

958
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 3: at somebody in seventeen a clockett Ooh, that's gonna be

959
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 3: a good job.

960
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,359
Speaker 5: Ooh, that's gonna be a good turn of phrase. Oh

961
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 5: that's I'm gonna use that every time you get annoyed

962
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 5: at somebody, look at it and go, how could that

963
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 5: be funny?

964
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 3: Or how could that?

965
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 5: That actually could be funny if I'm telling someone else,

966
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 5: because someone's.

967
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,799
Speaker 3: Gonna go, no shit, I know people do do that.

968
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,280
Speaker 3: They're going to go I didn't know people do that really?

969
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 5: Oh shit, I think you got great source material in

970
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 5: all thirty having many.

971
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:50,800
Speaker 3: Rows of people those three hundred people are sitting in

972
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 3: That makes sense, Matthew.

973
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:56,320
Speaker 2: Do you also have some advice on like how Sean

974
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 2: can reclaim that confidence that he felt the first time

975
00:42:58,960 --> 00:42:59,520
Speaker 2: he performed?

976
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 3: How do you reclaim account? Look some of it.

977
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 5: I'm gonna go back to what I was talking about

978
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 5: my mom with being a queen of denial. A lot

979
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 5: of it is look I've had thousands of days at

980
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 5: work where I'm not confident and I'm like, I'm just

981
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:17,360
Speaker 5: gonna blow through it. I'm gonna make sure one and

982
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 5: I have to convince myself that eighty percent of me

983
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:23,640
Speaker 5: doing the job can showing up and just get in there.

984
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 5: And I've had some of my better performances when I

985
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 5: was not confident walking the razors bed going man I

986
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 5: am and then found it in the performance. But showing

987
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,320
Speaker 5: up and going and doing record and what Chelsea was saying,

988
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 5: you gotta bomb uh huh, no.

989
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 3: Shit, you know you're gonna have lines of Man. When

990
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,280
Speaker 3: I rehearsed that, I was right on the money.

991
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 5: Everybody and I and I and I and I waited

992
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,280
Speaker 5: too long or I or I got I got excited

993
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,759
Speaker 5: and I blew through the paws that set up the punchline.

994
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 3: So what do it the next time? But it's just

995
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 3: I think getting back out there and doing it and

996
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 3: doing it the next time and doing it the next time,

997
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 3: and by practice, when I find you build confidence, when

998
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 3: you start to get a little better at something you know,

999
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 3: or even you start to feel a lot of people

1000
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 3: say I don't like what I'm doing, you can start

1001
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 3: to dig it by just purely getting better at something.

1002
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 3: It's fun to get better at something, to improve and

1003
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,319
Speaker 3: become more confident in it something you know.

1004
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 1: It's also fun to flip the script of your attitude

1005
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 1: towards it, Like your nervousness can be excitement, you know

1006
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,240
Speaker 1: what I mean. You can be like, oh, this is great.

1007
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 1: My very first jokes were about waiting tables. When I

1008
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:32,000
Speaker 1: started doing stand up because I was I got a dui.

1009
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 1: I had to go to dui class where they made

1010
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 1: everybody get up and give a speech about their dui.

1011
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:40,600
Speaker 1: And I was so scared shitless of public speaking that

1012
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 1: I would hide in the back of the class, hoping

1013
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:44,439
Speaker 1: this guy wouldn't call on me, And when he did,

1014
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: I got up and told my dui story. I was

1015
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 1: twenty one years old, and the whole place was dying laughing,

1016
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:52,319
Speaker 1: and I didn't get off stage. I was like, Oh,

1017
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,920
Speaker 1: this is fun. And then the dui guy came up.

1018
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: He's like, hey, listen, this isn't stand up, Like, this

1019
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: isn't a comedy club. Get off the stage. And everyone

1020
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:01,120
Speaker 1: was like, you got to be a stand up comedian

1021
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, that sounds scary, and I

1022
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 1: was like, but I guess I have to. I had

1023
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 1: what are my other options? I mean, what was I

1024
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 1: going to do? I didn't know. I just thought I

1025
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 1: had to be a public person. So I My whole

1026
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:15,399
Speaker 1: material was like people asking me what the specials were

1027
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 1: and me actually saying what I wanted to say to people,

1028
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:21,280
Speaker 1: you know, like as if you're going to even remember

1029
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,439
Speaker 1: this fucking meal in seven days, Who gives a shit

1030
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 1: what the specials are? Figure something out? You know, my

1031
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:28,360
Speaker 1: ass in your face is the special Like, I just

1032
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: had a whole slew of material about waiting tables. You

1033
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:34,799
Speaker 1: can do exactly the same thing that Matthew said to

1034
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 1: start and launch your creativity, and you're going to naturally

1035
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 1: move and flow and ebb and flow and all the

1036
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: things and bomb and succeed. You're gonna have it all,

1037
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 1: but go into it knowing that it's a full breadth

1038
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 1: experience and don't expect everything to just go well. That's

1039
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 1: not the way we grow, right.

1040
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 3: I think that's what's scary is than not doing well.

1041
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 7: It's I think because the first time I did stand up,

1042
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 7: they introduced me and the crowd was applotting, and I

1043
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 7: got up on stage and the very first thing I

1044
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,320
Speaker 7: said was I kind of expected that to last a

1045
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,760
Speaker 7: little bit longer, and they like started up plotting again,

1046
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 7: and I was.

1047
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 3: Just like, oh shit. They like they're doing what they

1048
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:14,280
Speaker 3: tell them.

1049
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,440
Speaker 7: To do, and so it's like this high and I'm like,

1050
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 7: I don't want to like what if I would have

1051
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 7: said that? And then they were just like, yeah, well

1052
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:22,760
Speaker 7: it's not gonna last longer.

1053
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:25,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what if? Because there's there's so many millions

1054
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: of other people that have your desire and are doing it,

1055
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,840
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Maybe not millions, but

1056
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:34,959
Speaker 1: thousands definitely that are doing it. Yes.

1057
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 3: How much of stand up is entertaining yourself?

1058
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 1: A lot? A lot.

1059
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 3: I mean when you think that joke's funny by hook

1060
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 3: by crook f then the crowd they laugh or not

1061
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,280
Speaker 3: a lot of times it becomes funnier to them because

1062
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 3: you enjoyed that joke.

1063
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 1: You think it's funny, right, Yeah, for sure.

1064
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 3: It's hard to if you don't get the reaction. It's

1065
00:46:54,760 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 3: hard to relax and go yes, yeah, well clap from

1066
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 3: a center whatever that is. You know. I mean, how

1067
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 3: much is a lot of it is entertaining yourself?

1068
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,799
Speaker 1: Well, a lot of it's entertaining yourself. But it's also

1069
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 1: a practice of like I tell stories all the time

1070
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 1: in my personal life, and when I see that they

1071
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:13,320
Speaker 1: get a big reaction, I'm like, oh, that's a story

1072
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 1: for the stage. If you know, my stand up is

1073
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 1: very personal, Your stand up may be very joke oriented,

1074
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,720
Speaker 1: but I think anything that comes from your personal truth

1075
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:25,960
Speaker 1: is valuable to creativity. You don't want to pretend you're

1076
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 1: someone you're not you. Obviously, being a stand up relies

1077
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:32,120
Speaker 1: on the audience laughing at some point. You know that

1078
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:34,919
Speaker 1: is part of it. So yes, you want to get there.

1079
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:37,319
Speaker 1: But you know, Matthew and I discussed this a little

1080
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 1: bit earlier. We touched on not taking yourself too seriously.

1081
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 1: You want to take everything seriously. But any moment like

1082
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:48,400
Speaker 1: that is not a life altering changing moment in a

1083
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 1: negative way. It can always be a life altering changing

1084
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 1: moment in a positive way. But a moment on stage

1085
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 1: is just never going to crush you the way that

1086
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: you are fearing, like your fear, you're letting you yourself

1087
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: be led by fear. Instead, you got to be like

1088
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:07,879
Speaker 1: bring it on, Like, let's bring it on, Let's get

1089
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 1: the scary parts over with, Like the sooner you get

1090
00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 1: on stage, and the more you get on stage, the

1091
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:15,359
Speaker 1: quicker all of that stuff is going to be out

1092
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:18,760
Speaker 1: the back door. So like get moving. Yeah that makes sense,

1093
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, is there somewhere you

1094
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 1: can go do a set like stand up comedy club

1095
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: where you live?

1096
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's a ton of places here in Kansas City

1097
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 7: that have like there's like a week open nights and stuff.

1098
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, do it. Just start doing it. Makes you

1099
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:34,439
Speaker 1: make us a commitment that you're gonna do it. What

1100
00:48:34,800 --> 00:48:37,280
Speaker 1: this week? Next week? When can you get on stage?

1101
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 3: Yeah? I can, I can do next week.

1102
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 1: All right, make that commitment to us and yourself and

1103
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 1: go do it.

1104
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 5: Okay, let me tell you one thing that my mentor

1105
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 5: pinial and my greatest mentor this this woman of nineteen

1106
00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 5: years told me, and it was so liberating. Before I

1107
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 5: go every day to every job and then every every

1108
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 5: morning at work.

1109
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,479
Speaker 3: But I tell myself, I tell myself, kin, I dare

1110
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 3: you to screw up. Go, I dare you to screw up.

1111
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 3: Dare yourself to screw up. Watch how I found that

1112
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 3: I screwed up less when I dared myself to screw up.

1113
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 3: I dare you to eat shit here. It just kind

1114
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,240
Speaker 3: of like pop the bubble and all so much pressure

1115
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 3: is off. I'll give myself there, so try and screw

1116
00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:17,600
Speaker 3: up there. I like that.

1117
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, even if it goes badly, it's five minutes in

1118
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:21,959
Speaker 2: the beginning, so it doesn't matter.

1119
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 1: It's just the only thing that matters is you making

1120
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,239
Speaker 1: the step in the right direction of what's going to

1121
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 1: really fill your soul up. And it sounds like you

1122
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 1: know what that is. Look at that as a gift

1123
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,480
Speaker 1: instead of a negative, and just run towards it, you know,

1124
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:37,280
Speaker 1: And anytime you have a bad set, that's like great,

1125
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,239
Speaker 1: because if when you have a bad set, the next

1126
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 1: one's always the best one. I speak from experience. Yeah

1127
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:49,759
Speaker 1: you do, okay, thanks for calling Sean. Good luck break

1128
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 1: a leg, I mean, sorry, good luck.

1129
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:55,839
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

1130
00:49:55,920 --> 00:50:03,440
Speaker 2: By We have one other caller. Her name is Carrie.

1131
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:06,759
Speaker 2: A friend of about sixteen years has recently professed his

1132
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 2: love for me. I've known he's had a crush on

1133
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 2: me for a long time. He always tells me I'm

1134
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 2: his type. With his recent admission of being in love

1135
00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 2: with me, I thought, sure, why not, let's try it.

1136
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:18,719
Speaker 2: I warned him that he's setting himself up to get

1137
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 2: hurt and that I may never get the feelings for

1138
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 2: him he has for me, but he wants to try anyway.

1139
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,319
Speaker 2: I told him I can't just flip a switch from

1140
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 2: friendship to relationship, so I asked him to court me,

1141
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 2: and he's been trying really hard. The trouble is he's

1142
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,680
Speaker 2: not my type. I don't really have a strong physical

1143
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:36,400
Speaker 2: attraction toward him, but the person he is in the

1144
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 2: time we spend together I love. I'm a bit of

1145
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 2: a disaster with dating and have been single most of

1146
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,719
Speaker 2: my life. I'm forty eight. My longest relationship of three

1147
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:46,360
Speaker 2: and a half years, was with a woman. Though I

1148
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 2: don't identify as a lesbian, it just felt right at

1149
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,919
Speaker 2: the time. I don't know what it is with men.

1150
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,759
Speaker 2: I just seem to find fault in all of them

1151
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 2: and end up breaking up with them. So Carrie told

1152
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:58,279
Speaker 2: me that they dated for about a month and she

1153
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 2: finally kissed him or they can and she got the

1154
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 2: ick and didn't want to continue. But I think the

1155
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,759
Speaker 2: bigger issue that came out of the conversation is that

1156
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 2: Carrie's having trouble finding chemistry in general with other people

1157
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,080
Speaker 2: that she's dating, so I thought we could explore that,

1158
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 2: explore what's wrong with the vibes and what's going on there.

1159
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, hi Carrie, Hi, Hi there. This is Matthew mccontay.

1160
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 1: He's our special guest today.

1161
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:24,279
Speaker 2: Hi.

1162
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 6: Hi, nice to meet you.

1163
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 1: Hiar And you know Catherine, obviously you guys have spoken.

1164
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah for sure. So yeah, so she told

1165
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 6: you that it went sideways.

1166
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,879
Speaker 1: Well, you had a kiss, right, that was it?

1167
00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:42,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, So we dated for almost six weeks. We tried

1168
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 6: the dating thing, and he was doing because I asked him.

1169
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 6: I told him he has to court me because you know,

1170
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 6: I'm not just going to date him for no reason.

1171
00:51:50,719 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 6: And yeah, he finally asked me on Valentine's can we kiss?

1172
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 6: And I said sure, And honestly, it was like kissing

1173
00:51:58,920 --> 00:51:59,800
Speaker 6: a family member.

1174
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 1: Okay, well, let's go back. You said that you have

1175
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 1: problems with intimacy with men, right, is that what you said?

1176
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,239
Speaker 1: Is it men or you don't have problems like that

1177
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:11,760
Speaker 1: with women?

1178
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:16,080
Speaker 6: Well, it's not so much with all men. I'm kind

1179
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 6: of more of the I like the wine, not the

1180
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 6: label kind of thing that said. I've dated way more

1181
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 6: men than women, So I think with men it's just

1182
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 6: I do have some trust issues with men, so it

1183
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 6: is harder for me to get closer to them. I

1184
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 6: also find men over forty extremely needy, and that is

1185
00:52:35,560 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 6: like one of my least like it's so unattractive to me,

1186
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:42,759
Speaker 6: so that part is hard as well.

1187
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 1: Well. I think if you have self admittingly that you

1188
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:51,319
Speaker 1: have a lot of guardrails up, it's very hard to

1189
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:53,920
Speaker 1: break those down. And I think that should be your

1190
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 1: number one objective right now, because I don't think you

1191
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:01,400
Speaker 1: can probably clearly even kiss this guy while you're looking

1192
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 1: for excuses to not like him, you know what I mean.

1193
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:08,279
Speaker 1: And I had the last guy I dated, I was

1194
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 1: friends with for fifteen years and was never attracted to him,

1195
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:14,759
Speaker 1: And it took a long time and I did. I

1196
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 1: fell in love with him. I became attracted to him.

1197
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:20,239
Speaker 1: I couldn't even believe it, you know. I said, there's

1198
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 1: no way, there's no way, and then it happened. So

1199
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:26,680
Speaker 1: I don't think a kisses definitively the end or the

1200
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 1: beginning of anything. I think that you have some work

1201
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 1: to do about being open, and not every guy is

1202
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:37,320
Speaker 1: that needy, not every guy is anything. Look at Matthew McConaughey.

1203
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 1: He's sitting here. He just wrote this book. Well, he

1204
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 1: didn't just write this book, but he wrote a book

1205
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 1: that you should read called green Lights. I read it.

1206
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:47,839
Speaker 1: Oh oh great, right, so then you know about green lights,

1207
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,320
Speaker 1: yellow lights exactly.

1208
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:52,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're a yellow light right.

1209
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 6: Now, Yeah, exactly.

1210
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:55,279
Speaker 1: That's all right.

1211
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:58,279
Speaker 6: It's nice to hear that, you know, because I know

1212
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:00,439
Speaker 6: with you and Joe you were friends for a long

1213
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 6: time and then so how long did it take for

1214
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 6: you be able to be able to look at him

1215
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 6: that way?

1216
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:09,040
Speaker 1: Well, it's funny you say that because in therapy, when

1217
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:11,720
Speaker 1: I was wrapping up therapy because I needed a break,

1218
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 1: I said, am I supposed to be in a relationship?

1219
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 1: I just don't feel like the relationship type like that.

1220
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 1: It's not I've never been boy crazy, you know. I

1221
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:21,960
Speaker 1: don't go god, you know, like when I'm single, I

1222
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,439
Speaker 1: like it. I'm not trying always to find a guy.

1223
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,879
Speaker 1: And I just thought, maybe something's off with me. And

1224
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 1: he said, you have too many barriers up. You just

1225
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 1: have roadblocks all around you, he said, and you have

1226
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:35,480
Speaker 1: to strip those away until you're going to see somebody

1227
00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 1: for who they are, not what they represent, you know,

1228
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:42,160
Speaker 1: not the fact that he's wearing Prada jumpsuits that make

1229
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 1: me sick, or if we're driving around in Ferraris that

1230
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 1: makes me cringe. Just I had to get past all

1231
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 1: of my bullshit and finally just see him for who

1232
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,880
Speaker 1: he was, which is a real person, you know, And

1233
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,440
Speaker 1: those things don't define a person. And I understand if

1234
00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:58,400
Speaker 1: you don't feel like you have chemistry when you kiss somebody,

1235
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,160
Speaker 1: it's hard to even think about kissing them again or

1236
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:04,360
Speaker 1: anything like that. But this feels like it's a good

1237
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:08,799
Speaker 1: opportunity for growth for you in terms of really kind

1238
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:11,320
Speaker 1: of trying to strip away your layers and go into

1239
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:13,919
Speaker 1: things that make you uncomfortable. Not to a degree where

1240
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:15,319
Speaker 1: you have to go of sex with somebody that you're

1241
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:18,240
Speaker 1: not interested in, but to a degree where you're pushing

1242
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:21,239
Speaker 1: yourself to perhaps go out with him again and try

1243
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:24,320
Speaker 1: it again, you know, and if it's not him, another

1244
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 1: guy or another woman like whomever. But as a practice

1245
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 1: for yourself, not necessarily to be in a relationship, but

1246
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 1: in a practice of like tearing down the things that

1247
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:37,279
Speaker 1: go ugh to you. When something says ooh to you,

1248
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 1: or you have that feeling, you've got to make a

1249
00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:43,480
Speaker 1: note of it and go, oh, oh, that's that's a

1250
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 1: yellow light. Is that about me? Or is that about

1251
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:47,439
Speaker 1: him or her? Right?

1252
00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:48,320
Speaker 4: Right?

1253
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 6: And I'm pretty sure it is about me because you know,

1254
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:54,759
Speaker 6: we have all the things in common. I'm like, if

1255
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 6: this doesn't work, how the hell am I going to

1256
00:55:57,040 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 6: date anybody else that doesn't have all these boxes ticked?

1257
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:00,720
Speaker 1: Right?

1258
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 6: And it was just kind of that all it's lacking

1259
00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 6: is that spark, you know when you kiss somebody and

1260
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 6: then you want to sleep with them. And that was

1261
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 6: kind of like, I don't really want to sleep with you.

1262
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,720
Speaker 6: That said, I have slept with him in the past,

1263
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:17,280
Speaker 6: so my bad I maybe sent off wrong signals.

1264
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 1: Well you skip that part exactly.

1265
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 6: So you.

1266
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,880
Speaker 3: Know, or not your bad one thing. I hear you,

1267
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 3: I hear you. Kind of keep doing this is what

1268
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:30,759
Speaker 3: Chelsea was saying. You said a minute ago, I like

1269
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 3: the wine, not the label. Yes you're but you are

1270
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:38,920
Speaker 3: labeling exactly what you want and you have your own labels,

1271
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:42,359
Speaker 3: which happens all with maturity. As we mature, we get

1272
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:44,439
Speaker 3: kind of set in our ways and know it needs

1273
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 3: to fit this and this is how I this is

1274
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 3: how my life goes, this is what I expect and

1275
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 3: we're less malleable. And what I hear Chelsea saying, which I.

1276
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:57,480
Speaker 5: Second, is relax your own labels on yourself and the

1277
00:56:57,520 --> 00:57:01,200
Speaker 5: boxes that he or any other man needs to absolutely

1278
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 5: fit for you. So maybe just enjoy that one without

1279
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:06,520
Speaker 5: looking at the label a little bit. And I think

1280
00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:09,320
Speaker 5: that's what Chelsea's saying is if if it's not just perfect,

1281
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,839
Speaker 5: to cut yourself before you go. Wait that that didn't fit,

1282
00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 5: that didn't fit, that didn't go exactly how I wanted

1283
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 5: it to be.

1284
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:17,040
Speaker 3: That kiss didn't make me want to go further. Well

1285
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 3: maybe that was all it was needed. Right then, maybe

1286
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 3: start Sometimes you get to know, so you already got

1287
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 3: your eye set with this guy, is that you already

1288
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 3: got a friendship?

1289
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 6: Well not anymore.

1290
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:32,080
Speaker 3: It's not there. Yeah, it was there. The last eighteen

1291
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 3: years are not gone. Whatever y'all formed over eighteen years,

1292
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 3: it's not like whiteouts over it. It's still there. You

1293
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 3: want to rekindle that and go you want to pick

1294
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 3: back up and just go have a freaking cup of

1295
00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 3: coffee and not kiss. I want to get back and

1296
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:45,640
Speaker 3: doing some things that we like, we used to like

1297
00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 3: to do, just together and just maybe that's maybe restarting

1298
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 3: there and if you know that would if the kiss works,

1299
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,680
Speaker 3: it'll probably be the time where he doesn't ask you

1300
00:57:55,800 --> 00:57:57,960
Speaker 3: or you don't ask him, and it just happens.

1301
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:00,760
Speaker 1: Exactly and when, And to go back when you were

1302
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:03,040
Speaker 1: asking me about person when it happened. For Joe and me,

1303
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 1: we had hung out for over a year before anything happened,

1304
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 1: And when it happened, I made it happen because then

1305
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 1: it had to come from me. And I would suggest

1306
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 1: hanging out with them with first of all, repair the

1307
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:17,480
Speaker 1: whatever damage has been done, which you can easily do

1308
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:20,480
Speaker 1: over an eighteen year relationship, and say, let's just try

1309
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:23,000
Speaker 1: this again as friends. Let's see if it goes anywhere

1310
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 1: in a more natural progression, because I think if he

1311
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:29,880
Speaker 1: ticks all these boxes a it's worth another go. Do

1312
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? You're saying, all he has

1313
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 1: got all these things except for your feelings towards him,

1314
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 1: and that can happen. That comes up for people all

1315
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 1: the time. They fall in love with their friends all

1316
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 1: the time. You can't force it to happen. It has

1317
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:46,800
Speaker 1: to naturally organically happen, and you can continue to spend

1318
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:48,800
Speaker 1: more time together. You don't have to kiss each other

1319
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 1: or fuck each other or whatever, but spend more time

1320
00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 1: and see if it happens naturally, and also as a

1321
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:57,760
Speaker 1: test for yourself, also explore that with other people too,

1322
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,280
Speaker 1: you know, because I'm glad Matthew said that at the

1323
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 1: wine and the label, because as soon as you made

1324
00:59:02,560 --> 00:59:06,440
Speaker 1: that declaration, it was clear that you're doing the opposite

1325
00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:08,320
Speaker 1: of what you think you're doing. You don't have to

1326
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:11,040
Speaker 1: make declarations about who you are, you know what I mean.

1327
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 1: So I think that you might think you're looking at

1328
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 1: the wine and not the label, but it's quite the opposite.

1329
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:19,400
Speaker 6: Right, fair enough? I think right now is good that

1330
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 6: this call worked out when it did, because I was

1331
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 6: actually thinking of writing him a letter because right now

1332
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:27,840
Speaker 6: he's just cut me out of his life completely, unfollowed

1333
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:32,000
Speaker 6: me on duo, Lingo and Goodreads and Facebook and all

1334
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 6: the things that we shared common interest in. And I

1335
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 6: text him and I was like, so my biggest fear

1336
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 6: was losing in the friendship. And he just said, I

1337
00:59:39,920 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 6: can't be friends with you because I'll always want more.

1338
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:45,360
Speaker 6: And I thought, okay, so you're just willing to throw

1339
00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 6: away eighteen years of friendship because your feelings are hurt.

1340
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,040
Speaker 6: So it's like at this point, is it crossing a

1341
00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 6: line to write them a letter and just be like, hey,

1342
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 6: maybe we didn't try long enough or I don't know.

1343
00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:00,840
Speaker 3: At this point, sounds like y'all very similar. Maybe just

1344
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,960
Speaker 3: simplify a little bit. And then if you do write

1345
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,760
Speaker 3: him a letter, which sounds like you should.

1346
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:08,560
Speaker 5: Because about eighteen years you don't want to throw that

1347
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:10,640
Speaker 5: out like that was a nothing part of your life.

1348
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 3: That was real. Whether it works out for you or not,

1349
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 3: that was real. You built that.

1350
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:18,320
Speaker 5: You don't want to throw that out completely. I mean,

1351
01:00:18,760 --> 01:00:20,800
Speaker 5: I even if you do write him letter, be considerate.

1352
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 5: I'm sure he feels like he got bruised or lost

1353
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 5: or made an advance and you had it and then

1354
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 5: you were like, Nope, that's it. He probably feels a

1355
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 5: little embarrassed, a little shame, a little loss, a little

1356
01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 5: less just maybe as a friend, go, man, this is

1357
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:39,080
Speaker 5: out made you feel. I didn't mean to hurt you,

1358
01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:40,840
Speaker 5: but that's how I felt.

1359
01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:43,280
Speaker 3: This is all so damn complicated, And you want to

1360
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:45,680
Speaker 3: go back back back a few months before we for

1361
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:47,600
Speaker 3: that kiss and just start with when we were high

1362
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,400
Speaker 3: five and and go have a couple of coffee or

1363
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:51,360
Speaker 3: a walk and start right there with some simple ship

1364
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:53,680
Speaker 3: and maybe maybe cuss each other out and go, this

1365
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 3: fucking made me pissed off and this hurt me. That

1366
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 3: could be it could be fun.

1367
01:00:57,360 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 6: You know.

1368
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:00,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree with that, and I think you

1369
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:03,280
Speaker 1: should definitely write him a letter, but also acknowledge his feelings.

1370
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:06,120
Speaker 1: Definitely acknowledge the fact that he with the way he

1371
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 1: may be feeling right now. But you know, as an

1372
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:12,200
Speaker 1: effort to retain this friendship, you can say, in the

1373
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:14,640
Speaker 1: hopes I want to have these feelings for you, I'm

1374
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 1: willing to like try this again, but we also have

1375
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 1: to be adults, and if it doesn't work out, then

1376
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:22,720
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out. People have been turned down before

1377
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:24,680
Speaker 1: and been able to maintain friendships.

1378
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:25,000
Speaker 6: You know.

1379
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:26,840
Speaker 1: Obviously he needs a little bit of time to get

1380
01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:29,600
Speaker 1: over what he's dealing with. But I think that you

1381
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 1: should really definitely focus on some of the things that

1382
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 1: we said to you about looking within yourself and figuring out,

1383
01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:38,720
Speaker 1: you know, what your stipulations and kind of roadblocks have

1384
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:41,160
Speaker 1: been and kind of just try to open them up

1385
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 1: and just kind of be open to whatever. Don't have

1386
01:01:44,280 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 1: it in your head the way that it looks needs

1387
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:50,560
Speaker 1: to look perfectly right absolutely.

1388
01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:52,000
Speaker 4: Well, Carrie, let us know how it goes.

1389
01:01:52,040 --> 01:01:56,520
Speaker 1: Okay, for sure, Thanks, Okay, good luck. Forty eight's great.

1390
01:01:56,560 --> 01:01:58,320
Speaker 1: I just turned forty eight, and I'm for.

1391
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:03,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm kind of at that age where it's like,

1392
01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:06,000
Speaker 6: you know, I'm not one of those people that is

1393
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 6: desperate to be in a relationship. I actually quite like

1394
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:13,240
Speaker 6: being single. And that's probably part of my problem with dating,

1395
01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:15,400
Speaker 6: is like I'll start dating and then I'm like, we're

1396
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:16,120
Speaker 6: actually singles.

1397
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:16,760
Speaker 1: Not so bad.

1398
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:21,600
Speaker 6: So yeah, I'm definitely at forty eight. I'm not even

1399
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:23,280
Speaker 6: at forty eight. I'm not in a rush to get

1400
01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:26,600
Speaker 6: into any sort of relationship, but would be nice.

1401
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 1: Okay, take care, nice to speak with you.

1402
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:30,600
Speaker 3: Thanks.

1403
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:33,160
Speaker 1: Okay, we're running out of time, so we're going to

1404
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 1: take a quick break and we'll be right back. And

1405
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:40,520
Speaker 1: we're back.

1406
01:02:41,120 --> 01:02:41,840
Speaker 4: We're back.

1407
01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:47,120
Speaker 1: That was awesome. Matthew McConaughey, you were great. Has predicted. Yes,

1408
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:50,800
Speaker 1: thank you. I'm predicted. So to this event. To Matthew's

1409
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:54,920
Speaker 1: event that he's hosting with Tony Robbins. It is a

1410
01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 1: virtual event. It's called Art of Living Live on April

1411
01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:00,120
Speaker 1: twenty four.

1412
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:04,480
Speaker 2: Right, so you can go online and register at artoflivinevent

1413
01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:07,680
Speaker 2: dot com and sign up. It's actually free to attend,

1414
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,080
Speaker 2: so go check it out.

1415
01:03:09,160 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's awesome. It matter So it's all free.

1416
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:14,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's all free. Oh great and online.

1417
01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: Okay, awesome. Thanks for sharing today, Thanks for being here,

1418
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:20,680
Speaker 1: Thanks for giving advice to our callers.

1419
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:22,600
Speaker 3: Appreciate it. I enjoyed that.

1420
01:03:22,920 --> 01:03:24,080
Speaker 1: Okay, enjoy that sign.

1421
01:03:24,760 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 3: I have badass today, Matte met too.

1422
01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:26,960
Speaker 4: Bye.

1423
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 1: Oh real great episode, fabulous and don't forget everybody. My

1424
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:36,400
Speaker 1: new special Revolution is now streaming on Netflix and it's badass.

1425
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 1: And then I'm doing a tour a little Big Bitch store.

1426
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:40,920
Speaker 1: Go to Chelsea Hamma dot com for tickets. I've added

1427
01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:43,439
Speaker 1: some new dates. I added a date in Monticello, New York.

1428
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:47,600
Speaker 1: I'm coming to Colorado to Red Rocks Amphitheater. I'm coming

1429
01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 1: to calum the Zoo, and then I'm coming to a

1430
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:53,400
Speaker 1: bunch of places in Tennessee, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. That's

1431
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:56,520
Speaker 1: May nineteenth, twentieth, and twenty first. And then I'll be

1432
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 1: in Atlantic City June tenth, which is almost sold out,

1433
01:03:58,720 --> 01:03:59,720
Speaker 1: So get your tickets.

1434
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:02,440
Speaker 2: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email.

1435
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:05,520
Speaker 2: At Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1436
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:08,600
Speaker 2: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1437
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:12,280
Speaker 2: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine Law and

1438
01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:14,760
Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1439
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,360
Speaker 2: com