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Speaker 1: Heeart talent such as Chelsea Handler, Danny Shapiro, Charlemagne the God,

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Speaker 1: heart or text I Heeart to five hundred, five hundred.

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Speaker 1: My next guest Is was born in Boston and raised

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Speaker 1: in Hall I'm one of my favorite favorite neighborhoods in

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Speaker 1: the country. She's the author of Blend and Uh, author

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Speaker 1: of the book Blend and Avid art collector songwriter philanthrocis

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Speaker 1: charge agent and founder of the Art Lead Her. She

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Speaker 1: is on the show today discuss her book Blend is

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Speaker 1: Secret to co parent it and creating a balanced family.

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Speaker 1: Please welcome to Money Making Conversation. Mashonda to Faery, Did

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Speaker 1: I say that correct? It's prayer? Okay, Machan, Fred? Now

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Speaker 1: is that what is that? That French? What is that?

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Speaker 1: It's you know, because you know I just know Spanish,

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Speaker 1: I just can't go over there, but I'm good. First

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Speaker 1: of all, thank you for coming to my show. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for coming to my show. Please because of the

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Speaker 1: fact that when you hear about families about what you

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Speaker 1: said the divorce, divorce raiders about in this country. So

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Speaker 1: your story is not unusual story, but your story is

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Speaker 1: unusual because guess what you decided to, uh, create a

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Speaker 1: relationship with the person that that was no longer a

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Speaker 1: part of your life, the father your child, and why

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Speaker 1: was that? What was that important? And it's a lot

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Speaker 1: of things you want to talk about once slow down.

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Speaker 1: I read your book, incredibly good book, because because I

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Speaker 1: read books that this this won't be no generic conversation.

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Speaker 1: So if I if I read some quotes now, you

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Speaker 1: might have to splitch, Oh yeah, I did right there.

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Speaker 1: I did right there. Because it's important that people understand

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Speaker 1: the value what you're trying to say, because we hear

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Speaker 1: so many stories about you know, especially you know, you

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Speaker 1: have a young son, and I think it's important that

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Speaker 1: that young son maintains that that that that that male

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Speaker 1: figure in his life now in doing this process and

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Speaker 1: getting there, was that important to you maintaining the male

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Speaker 1: figure in his life, or just creating a positive relationship

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Speaker 1: overall for your son that you had. Well, those are

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Speaker 1: two extremely important parts of it. You know. Number one,

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to walk around being a miserable, unhealthy,

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Speaker 1: emotionally disabled person for the rest of my life. So

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Speaker 1: I felt like I needed to heal the relationship between

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Speaker 1: myself and my ex husband. Um. You know, it's very

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Speaker 1: important for women to understand that that is possible and

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Speaker 1: that it is necessary if you want to be a

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Speaker 1: fully present, happy, healthy human being. Um. And then number two,

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Speaker 1: of course, and this isn't in order, they're equally very important.

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Speaker 1: But I really wanted my son to feel at peace

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Speaker 1: in his life with his family and his parents, and

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Speaker 1: I wanted it to be more more than just co

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Speaker 1: parenting when you just you dropped your kid off and

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Speaker 1: you wave at the parents and you like go about

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Speaker 1: your way and there's no sincerity, there's no human emotion involved.

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Speaker 1: I wanted him to see us coexisting is two people

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Speaker 1: that love him and that want the best for him.

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Speaker 1: So I made a conscious decision to make that happen.

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Speaker 1: I spoke to my ex husband, I told him what

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Speaker 1: we needed to do for our child, and that was

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Speaker 1: the beginning of the journey. Now, a lot of crying

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Speaker 1: in this book, a lot of emotional tuggy what's in

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Speaker 1: this book? And I think that's where and in some words,

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Speaker 1: I fel um, I felt sad because who you are,

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Speaker 1: beautiful young lady, beautiful child, have a life that you expected.

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Speaker 1: You know, when people get married, they expect to stadium.

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Speaker 1: Nobody gets married to say I'm out of here in

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Speaker 1: a year. You get married to be last for a

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Speaker 1: long time. And when you start talking about your background,

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Speaker 1: you know with which we were talking about in more detail,

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Speaker 1: you know that wasn't that wasn't the life that was

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Speaker 1: shown you. You wanted to be in a uh this

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Speaker 1: this format for forever. So when you when you started changing?

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Speaker 1: Did you start changing when you start seeing that, hey,

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Speaker 1: this is not gonna last. Because that's why I wanted

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Speaker 1: to talk about because you know a little bit about

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Speaker 1: because you know this is being played out in front

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Speaker 1: of your child, and then the divorce is being played

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Speaker 1: out in front of your child, and then the resolution

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Speaker 1: to hey, let's fix this so our child can have

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Speaker 1: a healthy life between the two of us. Talk to

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Speaker 1: me about that. Well, you know, of course we we

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Speaker 1: um we enter a relationships, you know, we fall in

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Speaker 1: love or we create these bonds with people, and we

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Speaker 1: expect the most. We expect longevity, we expect, you know,

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Speaker 1: a certain level of communication. But people don't realize is

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Speaker 1: that when you're young, that's impossible because you can't you

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Speaker 1: can't expect those things from someone who who doesn't even

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Speaker 1: know themselves yet, you know, so you have to kind

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Speaker 1: of um And what I had to do to get

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Speaker 1: to this point also is to let go, to let

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Speaker 1: go of those expectations, let go of all the ideas

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Speaker 1: images that I created of what a beautiful family is

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Speaker 1: supposed to be, and really just accept where I was

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Speaker 1: at in my life with my my ex husband and

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Speaker 1: his new wife and and my empower child because that

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Speaker 1: was the reality. And the expectations are pretty much just

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Speaker 1: an illusion when you think of it, because you can't

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Speaker 1: control that. You know, it's completely out of your hands.

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Speaker 1: And to get to that place where it's okay and

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Speaker 1: you surrender and you just allow life to be what

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Speaker 1: it is, you have to heal. There's a lot of

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Speaker 1: healing that goes into that, a lot of checking your

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Speaker 1: ego and and really just living and letting other people live.

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Speaker 1: You know, you have to respect everyone's journey. And it

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Speaker 1: sounds easy coming out of my mouth, but there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of pain in the book because it's not easy.

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Speaker 1: It's a very painful process. But it's kind of like

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Speaker 1: playing Tell the War with somebody. You're you're pulling, you're

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Speaker 1: pulling and they're pulling, and everybody's pulling and you're exhausting yourself,

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Speaker 1: you're sweating. It's like constant negative energy and being touched around.

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Speaker 1: But the moment you let go, there's a certain freedom.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's a there's a there's a release, and

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Speaker 1: you have to appreciate those moments of hugging because if

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Speaker 1: you don't have that contrast, you'll never be able to

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Speaker 1: appreciate when you let go and all the beauty that

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Speaker 1: comes in that. And that's really where blending begins. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to start the interview off we're just talking

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Speaker 1: to you, before I started mentioning who are the other

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Speaker 1: players in this? Because I think that some people when

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Speaker 1: they don't hear the story in the natural format and

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Speaker 1: you put the celebrity names up front, they might disconnect

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Speaker 1: and not here that you just you, just like everybody

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Speaker 1: else who got a divorce in the end. In in

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Speaker 1: the end, you know you're not. When people get the divorce,

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Speaker 1: they realize there might be certain price tax tied to it,

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Speaker 1: but it's still somebody said, this relationship needs to end.

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Speaker 1: We need to walk in shop with directions. But guess what,

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Speaker 1: we have a child. That's that's the defining moment of

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Speaker 1: fixing it right, of getting it right. If you were

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Speaker 1: just no child involved, you just going but your business,

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Speaker 1: just go partying. But that child is the key because

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Speaker 1: I would tell people I have a child, that child

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Speaker 1: and asked to come into this world. Okay, you fight

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Speaker 1: that child into this this world with the expectation that

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Speaker 1: you're gonna create a life that's gonna make that that

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Speaker 1: that young man a young lady successful in so many

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Speaker 1: ways beyond your lifestyle, because that's all you wanted. Kids.

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Speaker 1: You you don't want the two things. You don't want

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Speaker 1: to out You want to outlive your child. You want

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Speaker 1: your child outlive you, and you want them to have

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Speaker 1: a better life than you had. Those are the goals

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Speaker 1: you want for your child. And that's how that's why

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Speaker 1: you're bringing into the world and you cheer and you're

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Speaker 1: so happy when you have a healthy baby, because it

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Speaker 1: was a miracle to have a healthy child. You know

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Speaker 1: that it's not something that a lot of people take

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Speaker 1: it for granted, and it's not You should not take

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Speaker 1: that for granted. And the celebrities that were involved in

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Speaker 1: this was Swiss Beats and Alicia Keys and uh and

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Speaker 1: that's I had to bring that up because you know,

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Speaker 1: you became you, You became part of the tablauds. You know,

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Speaker 1: like when your child was born and Ess was posting

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Speaker 1: nice pictures and everything about their marriage relationship, and then

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Speaker 1: the divorce happened, then there was a different play on

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Speaker 1: your relationship with the media. Can you expound on that flow?

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Speaker 1: You know, well, anytime celebrities are involved, there's um there's

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Speaker 1: room for sensational tabloids and headlines, and the media takes

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Speaker 1: that and they've run with it, and that's what they

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Speaker 1: feed off of. And it's a sad culture that we

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Speaker 1: live in because people in the media wouldn't much prefer

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Speaker 1: to glorify something that's negative than to acknowledge and and

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Speaker 1: give respect to something that's positive. So ego plays into

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Speaker 1: that a lot. And there was a moment in our

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Speaker 1: separation and divorce we are We all played into it.

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Speaker 1: You know, we we gave interviews, I gave interviews. You know,

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Speaker 1: we used Twitter and all these different platforms is a

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Speaker 1: way to voice our opinions. And it just turned into

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Speaker 1: a disaster. And what people don't realize is that that

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Speaker 1: stuff lives on forever, even if even after you've evolved

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Speaker 1: and grown, you know, that stuff is still there and

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Speaker 1: your children see it, their children see it, and you know,

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Speaker 1: my advice to couples that are going through things is

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Speaker 1: to just handle it off of social media. You know, Um,

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Speaker 1: it's a dangerous it's it's a gift and occurs. It

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Speaker 1: could be a very dangerous tool. And in our situation,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't. It wasn't used in the right way. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And that's why I want to bring that up. That's

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Speaker 1: why now we're talking to a famous person. Were talked

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Speaker 1: about the person who has a famous people famous of

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Speaker 1: famous ex hubband or ex husband has a famous wife.

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Speaker 1: And so now it's a different playing field. So you

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Speaker 1: now you're blending the family in public. So then people

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Speaker 1: have opinions about that that you have to deal with.

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Speaker 1: Why are they getting along? Na? You know, I'm opposed this?

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Speaker 1: Why and and and so, but I want to tell

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Speaker 1: you this. Alicia Kiev wrote the fore world to this book,

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Speaker 1: so speak were the chapter in this book. I saw

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Speaker 1: them on Good Morning in America together when being interviewed

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Speaker 1: by Michael Strahan. You know, Alicia Keys was sitting right

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Speaker 1: next to her, which I think is very key to

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Speaker 1: understand if there's a real relationship, because Switch wasn't sitting

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Speaker 1: in between them keeping them off each other. She was

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Speaker 1: sitting right next to them, and they were smiling. When

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Speaker 1: we come back, we're gonna talk more about this book

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Speaker 1: and all about say, I'm not an art collector, so

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Speaker 1: you got to bring me into the phone on that, Mashonda, Okay,

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Speaker 1: and we're gonna deal with that because I guess what,

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Speaker 1: I'm enjoying this interview. I hope you enjoyed this interview,

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Speaker 1: and we're gonna sell some books for you. I just

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Speaker 1: reached out McDonald on the phone. Um, Mashonda, she has

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Speaker 1: a book called Blended, and the Blended book was the

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Speaker 1: fore word was written by famous singer Alicia keats Uh

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Speaker 1: ex husband is a famous music producer Switch Beats, and

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Speaker 1: I want to read show a version of a shortened

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Speaker 1: version of her foreword written by Alicia Keatson in the book.

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Speaker 1: Because the four word is like by three pages long,

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Speaker 1: Alicia can write, I'll tell you right now. So this

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Speaker 1: book is not only for our family and is for

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Speaker 1: all of us, all of us in the world trying

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Speaker 1: to stumble through life and its challenges with as much

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Speaker 1: love and understanding as possible, but those of us who

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Speaker 1: are looking for the way forward. It's for those of

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Speaker 1: us who are not ready, who are not ready, and

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Speaker 1: for those of us who are ready to realize that

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Speaker 1: we get to write the story of our life and

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Speaker 1: it gets to be a triumph. I'm proud of us.

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Speaker 1: We have triumphed with only love and support. Your sister

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Speaker 1: friend and proud co parent and future golden child, Anlesia Keys,

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Speaker 1: she had a lot to say more than that, but

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Speaker 1: I wanted at least so give a version of of

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Speaker 1: her love for this relationship. I want to say love.

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Speaker 1: I gotta say love. Uh that you guys have built

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Speaker 1: together because it started with a with a dinner and

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Speaker 1: U that she that she initiated, and then you met

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Speaker 1: and there was some emotions and I guess you can

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Speaker 1: use word trepidations about that meeting. It turned out and

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Speaker 1: and and moved this relationship forward. It was you invited

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Speaker 1: it to to an event. There was a was a

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Speaker 1: party for your son, right, yes, And then afterwards she

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Speaker 1: came and turned around and said, can we meet for dinner?

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Speaker 1: And you went to that dinner and they started the

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Speaker 1: whole relationship that you guys have today. And U and

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Speaker 1: I guess that when I when I when I read

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Speaker 1: that chapter, I read another chapter called under the Life

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Speaker 1: of talking about ego, and I want to read this

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Speaker 1: from the book. Ego is simply the opposite of love.

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Speaker 1: It is the false self, the part of you that

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Speaker 1: reacts to pain, that is driven by the external things

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Speaker 1: like social standing, money and image. And master true self

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Speaker 1: that's highest, the highest version of yourself, your spirit. When

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Speaker 1: my marriage ended, something happened inside of me. Fear entered

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Speaker 1: taking take tucking my true self into a corner. Now

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Speaker 1: that's the pain, that's the tears I hear throughout the book.

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Speaker 1: When she invited you to that, to this dinner, why

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Speaker 1: did you go? Well, it was time, you know. It

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Speaker 1: was these the little baby steps UH had to consistently

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Speaker 1: happen in order for us to get to this place.

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Speaker 1: I invited her to the birthday party, first, and then

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Speaker 1: the next day she invited me to dinner, and we

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Speaker 1: felt that we had to keep that conversation going and

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Speaker 1: growing in order to be where we are right now.

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Speaker 1: So what people don't know is that, you know, from

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Speaker 1: two thousand nine up until until now, we've been working

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Speaker 1: on our relationship. We just haven't We didn't make it public.

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Speaker 1: You know, we did it in private. We had many dinners,

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Speaker 1: we had many sitdowns, many meetings, you know, many heart

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Speaker 1: to hearts that we completely did in the privacy of

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Speaker 1: our own. But it takes a really long time to

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Speaker 1: get to that point, and it should be done in private.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't need to be publicized. It doesn't need to

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Speaker 1: be talked about until until you're at a healthy place.

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Speaker 1: And that was that. That was I always tell people that, Um,

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Speaker 1: in order to make change, you have to feel uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: and this was an uncomfortable moment in your life where Um,

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Speaker 1: she was married to the man that you met when

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Speaker 1: you were twenty years old. He was an eighteen when

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Speaker 1: you guys met at the time, and I married him.

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Speaker 1: You have a beautiful he had a beautiful son together.

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Speaker 1: Uh looks just like his daddy, by the way, from

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Speaker 1: the picture he looked just like he don't think so,

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Speaker 1: who do you think he looked like? Come on, let's

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Speaker 1: not looking because I have somebody need to put a

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Speaker 1: buy the book out the book. Oh no, no way,

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Speaker 1: no way, You're not gonna give me all that. Y'all

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Speaker 1: need to buy this book in person. Yall buy this

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Speaker 1: book right now, because Rushan McDonald is saying, if if

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Speaker 1: you put him to gether, he go, come to Daddy,

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Speaker 1: come to Mommy. Didn't just go daddy could look like daddy.

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Speaker 1: But you said in person, he looks more like you.

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Speaker 1: That's what you said. That's just like my wife. My

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Speaker 1: wife would not give me the pictures. He looks like me.

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Speaker 1: That's right. We give you a little credit on my

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Speaker 1: daughter at all. He looks she looks just everybody says,

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Speaker 1: he looked just like you and my daughter just by.

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Speaker 1: But I love that. I love the genuine fund that

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Speaker 1: you have in your relationship with your son. Tell us,

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Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about your son, tells about

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Speaker 1: your relationship you have with yourself. Oh my god, he's

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Speaker 1: he definitely came here to awaken me to my myself.

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Speaker 1: And he I called him my hero because I feel

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Speaker 1: like he saved my life in so many ways. He's

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Speaker 1: a Capricorn just like me. So we we we kind

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Speaker 1: of meet like in this place of this cosmic place,

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Speaker 1: and they're both very spiritual. He came here very very awakened.

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Speaker 1: You know. He meditates. We meditate together, we prayed together.

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Speaker 1: He is he challenges me. He also really does. He

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Speaker 1: tells me what he sees in me that I don't

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Speaker 1: want to see, so that I could change in the

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Speaker 1: better person. And I don't think parents give their children

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Speaker 1: the liberty to do that when their children really are

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Speaker 1: the only people that can honestly tell them the truth

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Speaker 1: about themselves because they know, you know. So we gotta

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Speaker 1: stop treating kids like as if their opinions don't count

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Speaker 1: because they're smaller than us. But their opinions and the

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Speaker 1: way they view life, it's it's just as accurate, or

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Speaker 1: even more because I have to bring him up. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because in your book you talk about the wake up call.

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Speaker 1: It came from your son. It came from him. He said, Mommy,

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Speaker 1: why doesn't Daddy ever come over to our house? And

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Speaker 1: why can't you go to his house? That was in

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Speaker 1: your book you call that the wake up call. Please

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Speaker 1: explain to the listeners. Why when he made that statements,

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Speaker 1: you you you you took your moment to understand that

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Speaker 1: some changes have to comment and I'll have to be

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Speaker 1: all about him, your son. Well, you know, the wake

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00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 1: up call definitely came from the scene. That's his name,

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Speaker 1: because he was the person in the middle. He was

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Speaker 1: absorbing all of the energy and he was able too,

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Speaker 1: in his own four or five year old way, evaluate

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Speaker 1: the two people in his life that were meant to

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Speaker 1: take care of him, and he knew that we weren't

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Speaker 1: taking care of ourselves. So he knocked on both of

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Speaker 1: our doors at different times and and said little, you know,

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Speaker 1: childlike things that really meant a lot. You know, it's

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Speaker 1: like when kids talk to us. When they speak to us,

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Speaker 1: it's done in this it's done in a way that's

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Speaker 1: like you know, immature or or very you know, young

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Speaker 1: linded because they don't know how to articulate any other way.

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Speaker 1: But when you really listen to those net sages, there's

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Speaker 1: i mean, it's their worlds of advice in there. You

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00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 1: just have to listen to us to pay attention to them,

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Speaker 1: because they really are the remedy for these moments of

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Speaker 1: when parents are disagreeing absolutely, I guess is Mashanda. At

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Speaker 1: the age of eighteen, she launched her music career with

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Speaker 1: an impressive publishing deal at Warner Chapel Music and released

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Speaker 1: their first album with Sony Music Entertainment in two thousand five.

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Speaker 1: She's a book called Blended The Secret to Co Parenting

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Speaker 1: and Creating a Balanced Family. Is It Wise and Inspiring

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Speaker 1: God to creating a happy and healthy Blended Family? By

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Speaker 1: her with contributions from her co parents Swiss Beats and

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Speaker 1: his wife, Grammy Award winning singer and songwriter Alicia Keats.

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Speaker 1: We've been talking about this book a lot and not recommended,

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Speaker 1: uh one, I recommend you go get the book to

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Speaker 1: prove that I'm right that that he looked like Swiss Beats,

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Speaker 1: And she said, looks he looks like he being heard

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Speaker 1: their son, the Junior, the Junior, I'm like, give under

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Speaker 1: these kids their names on the radio. People just so

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Speaker 1: crazy after these days. But I just want to make

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Speaker 1: sure that that's our little inside joke between the two

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Speaker 1: of us, because I feel I have a relationship with

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Speaker 1: you that that it's going to be sincere and iver.

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Speaker 1: If you ever need any support in anything you do,

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00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 1: always know that ras. Sean McDonald's here for you. Let's

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00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 1: talk about I have aart on my wall. I just

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00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 1: go into uh, I go to z gallery, I get

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Speaker 1: some art. Sometimes a friend of mine he goes to

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Speaker 1: South Africa. I get a lot of art in my

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Speaker 1: house from him. So I'm really I have a very

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Speaker 1: African blended tone in my Houston home, in my Atlanta home.

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Speaker 1: What is art to you? Explained to me? What is art?

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Speaker 1: Art is correct is it's the way that we will

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Speaker 1: view our existence forever. I mean, it's it's definitely, it's

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Speaker 1: it's life. Art is life, Art is culture, art is um.

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Speaker 1: It's it's the way that we develop sensory. You know,

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Speaker 1: you can look at anything, you can hear anything, you

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00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 1: can touch anything, and it could be art. So there's

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00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 1: a connection there. There is a human connection. And when

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Speaker 1: you when you meet with artists and you spend time

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Speaker 1: with them, you know, you really get to explore what

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Speaker 1: their souls they're like, the gifts that they bring forth

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00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 1: through their creativity. So artist always meant a lot to

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Speaker 1: me because I'm an artist myself through my music and

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Speaker 1: my writing and um, it was just always important to

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Speaker 1: me to keep that element in my life. So what's

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00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 1: the what's your what's the future, what's the future home

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00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 1: for you? What? What? What do you take this? Because

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00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,520
Speaker 1: you're you're very savvy, you're very savvy person, your social

401
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,639
Speaker 1: media influencer. You you got a book that's gonna be

402
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 1: a very popular selling book about because I'm sure you

403
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 1: should go to or because people need to hear your story.

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00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 1: Like I said, fifth percent of the country gets married

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00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: gets divorced. So and your book is I feel it's

406
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:12,679
Speaker 1: not uh you know, it's not anybody can relate to it,

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00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 1: And I think it's really important. I really respected the

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00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 1: fact that you did write this book catering to African Americas,

409
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 1: cater to a certain economic structure. You cater to people

410
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,679
Speaker 1: to understand that you laid out your personal pain in

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00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: this book and say, look, if you can relate, this

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00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,640
Speaker 1: book is for you. Because guess what, I'm being honest.

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Speaker 1: That's what I loved about the book. I love the

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00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,679
Speaker 1: fact that, uh, you know, your your ex husband's with

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00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 1: Spats was on board with it. I love the fact

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00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 1: that to be your childly comparing by Alicia Keys, and

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00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 1: I really want to say things like, hey, keep winning,

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Speaker 1: You're You're special and thank you for having you coming

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00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 1: on my show and then enjoying a moment though it's

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00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 1: exposing yourself on my show. I've recommended this book to everybody,

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00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,359
Speaker 1: um because of the fact that it's going to change

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00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,320
Speaker 1: their lives, and with you do things change your lives.

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00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,120
Speaker 1: I want to appreciate you for coming on my show. Okay,

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00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I appreciate you. We're talking. So

425
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 1: you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Recon.

426
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 1: Recon earbuds start off about half the price of any

427
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 1: other premium wireless earbuds on the market, and they sound

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00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,720
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Speaker 1: slash I heart