Speaker 1: Top eight was like you had your friends like listed
Speaker 1: on your MySpace almost left side of the screen, and
Speaker 1: it was like you could select your top eight friends
Speaker 1: were and like that was like a social status moment,
Speaker 1: like if you.
Speaker 2: Were in somebody's top eight.
Speaker 1: I hated garbage, absolutely unhinged, Like why were we doing this?
Speaker 2: It was unhinged? Better More, a little more better.
Speaker 3: Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop pretending
Speaker 3: to have it all together and embrace the journey of
Speaker 3: becoming a little more better every.
Speaker 2: Day, or at least trying to. That's Stephanie Beatrice. And
Speaker 2: that's Melissa. And that's to you. Who are you?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Are you?
Speaker 2: That's Melissa. I could be anyone you want me to be, stef.
Speaker 3: Do you want me to be?
Speaker 2: Starting off real strong? You guys?
Speaker 1: Starting off real strong? Uh, that's most of a marrow.
Speaker 1: You may know her from television, film and.
Speaker 2: Voiceovers, or you may not.
Speaker 1: And it's okay, but today she's co hosting this podcast
Speaker 1: with me.
Speaker 2: You probably do otherwise. Why are you listening to us
Speaker 2: right now? That's true?
Speaker 3: You have a point.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Welcome back, you guys. Welcome back. Hey doing friend?
Speaker 2: How's it going? Man? I'm I'm on, I'm I'm you're
Speaker 2: going through it ruggling.
Speaker 1: I got sick last week. I went to a concert
Speaker 1: finished Twisted Metal. We flew back home to LA then
Speaker 1: I flew back to Toronto to go to the Casey
Speaker 1: Musgraves concert. The concert was beautiful. Flying back to Toronto
Speaker 1: a mistake. I got very sick and I've kind of
Speaker 1: been sick ever since. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I also invited my entire cast to Twisted Metal to
Speaker 2: come to my house. Really good pizza, pool party. Oh no,
Speaker 2: Why did I do that?
Speaker 3: When I do that, I feel like that happens to
Speaker 3: me so much, where I make a plan in advance
Speaker 3: and then the plan comes and I go, oh no,
Speaker 3: but not today.
Speaker 2: Why did I do that? Anyway, how are you doing?
Speaker 3: I am doing pretty good. I am in Atlanta. We
Speaker 3: just started Gross Point Guarden Society. We're first week down.
Speaker 3: It's been going great. It's been going really smooth. It's
Speaker 3: like shockingly smooth for the beginning of a new show.
Speaker 2: Don't curse yourself here. I know, I know.
Speaker 3: Knock on all the wood, knock on all the wood.
Speaker 3: It's going to continue. It's going to continue. The crew
Speaker 3: is really great. But yeah, I miss my family. I
Speaker 3: have one more week. You know. For me, the two
Speaker 3: week mark is always like when I really start going crazy.
Speaker 3: So I feel like I just have to like keep
Speaker 3: myself busy, put my head down, and like get through
Speaker 3: this week, like this will be the week to just
Speaker 3: get through. Anything you've been doing lately that's a little
Speaker 3: more better, or you're just trying to you're treading water.
Speaker 1: I'm a survivor. I'm not gonna give up. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make it. I'm gonna work harder. I think the thing
Speaker 1: that is that I'm doing that's more better is that
Speaker 1: I am going to take the month off December.
Speaker 2: I am not good for the strata.
Speaker 1: Like I did tell my agents, I was like, yop,
Speaker 1: I didn't and I got it anywhere and.
Speaker 2: They were like, okay, sure for you. There's this like thing.
Speaker 2: Did you want to do this thing though? And I
Speaker 2: was like nope, so good for you. I'm really looking
Speaker 2: forward to it. I've never done that before. That's hard
Speaker 2: to do, and that's you've never done it and you've
Speaker 2: never ever heard it.
Speaker 3: You're taking care of yourself, You're prioritizing yourself. You're not
Speaker 3: gonna regret it. You're gonna be so happy you did it.
Speaker 2: She's only going to be three years old once. Exactly.
Speaker 2: Take advantage of it.
Speaker 3: Yes, seize the moment.
Speaker 1: I'm going to watch a lot of movies, eat a
Speaker 1: lot of food, cuddle and a lot of holiday stuff
Speaker 1: with Ras.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to like cuddle, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle, puddle
Speaker 2: with her. She already asked to watch the other day.
Speaker 2: I was like, ha haaa success.
Speaker 1: I know as a parent, it's already like the wheels
Speaker 1: are in motion, baby, Yes.
Speaker 2: I love that more better. On today's episode, we're talking
Speaker 2: about social media.
Speaker 1: So you know the SOSI the so just social includes
Speaker 1: all all of the things on the Internet that are like.
Speaker 2: Community, group building areas. Blah.
Speaker 1: I mean it is that, but it isn't. Starting with
Speaker 1: back in the day Facebook, Then there was MySpace, then
Speaker 1: there was Twitter, now x things like TikTok and Instagram
Speaker 1: and wherever you exist on the Internet. That is like
Speaker 1: for social stuff, which can become other stuff too, but
Speaker 1: that's generally what we're talking about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So what's your question to start off with, is
Speaker 3: is TikTok on your phone right now?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Dariel, it absolutely? Is it? Absolutely? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yes, because I Home Shopping Network actually asked me to
Speaker 1: do this really cool thing where they were like do
Speaker 1: you want They were like, do you want to give
Speaker 1: us like your Christmas shopping list, like we can help
Speaker 1: you choose stuff from the website.
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I've already got things.
Speaker 1: You were like, it's like I'm already shopping on home
Speaker 1: Jopping Network for my Christmas presents.
Speaker 3: Like like home Shopping Network, I've got this.
Speaker 2: You have come to do literally like they were like,
Speaker 2: do you need help with your list? I was like no,
Speaker 2: I already have things in my cart.
Speaker 1: So I had to also post about that because I
Speaker 1: wanted people to like watch when I was going to
Speaker 1: be live and stuff, so we had to Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think I see download TikTok.
Speaker 2: I'm putting it on my phone and was I on
Speaker 2: it last night? I was apparently.
Speaker 1: There's some drama that I couldn't figure out a jewelry talk.
Speaker 1: There's some stuff going on.
Speaker 2: What Yeah, I don't know what's happening. What else? Oh,
Speaker 2: I'm behind on this trend of do you remember that
Speaker 2: song that but didn't have to cut me? Remember that song? Oh? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: uh huh. There's this fantastic trend where people are like.
Speaker 1: Stop editing it and like doing their own dance. I'll
Speaker 1: send you a couple. It's a freaking hilarious. I went
Speaker 1: down a real I was in it last night. I
Speaker 1: was in my TikTok tornado. I was in the tornado.
Speaker 2: I love it too. I'm gonna take it off my phone.
Speaker 2: It's not good for my brain. It's not good for
Speaker 2: my brain. But today it's on there. But today, you
Speaker 2: know what.
Speaker 3: We're just we're getting a little hits right now. It's
Speaker 3: all good.
Speaker 2: I ever went to social media.
Speaker 1: It was like I literally remember posting on Instagram for
Speaker 1: the first time and being there, wonder.
Speaker 2: If anyone will ever see it? Like, I wonder if
Speaker 2: people will see this? I was doing it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like posting back backstage pictures of the
Speaker 1: play and stuff, and like one of the guys in
Speaker 1: the play was like, are you sure.
Speaker 2: You should post that? I was like, no one's gonna
Speaker 2: see it, No one even uses this thing. No, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you remember was Instagram?
Speaker 3: Was Instagram the first like kind of social media thing
Speaker 3: you were on.
Speaker 2: I think it was that in Twitter.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I got on both of them because of Brooklyn
Speaker 1: nine nine because we were we had been picked up
Speaker 1: for the first season, and I was like, I guess
Speaker 1: I should have a social media presence.
Speaker 2: Actors seemed to do that, So I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: I got on Twitter because of Brooklyn nine nine. As
Speaker 3: soon as we got picked up. It was actually my
Speaker 3: husband David.
Speaker 2: He goes, you.
Speaker 3: Should get on Twitter and make sure you get your
Speaker 3: name because remember, like that would be a thing, like
Speaker 3: people would steal your name.
Speaker 2: Yes, and so he was.
Speaker 3: Like, while you can still get like at Melissa Fumero.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like this is dumb.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna go what am I gonna do on Twitter?
Speaker 3: And he was like, just just do it, just set
Speaker 3: it up, and then he was totally right.
Speaker 2: He was right.
Speaker 1: I wish I was jumped on it earlier because like
Speaker 1: people in the very very beginning were you know, there's
Speaker 1: like the girl that has like at Stephanie has like
Speaker 1: a gajillion followers.
Speaker 2: You know, I wish I had early on, you know.
Speaker 2: And then there was like that.
Speaker 1: Thing where you could buy back your name from people
Speaker 1: and stuff, which is like, oh, I don't under the
Speaker 1: table styles. Yeah, people hang like a lot of money,
Speaker 1: so that I mean, listen, this is cesspool.
Speaker 2: We're getting in here, you guys right into this quick
Speaker 2: quick fire. Were you on MySpace? Yes? Were you on
Speaker 2: friends Her?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Were on Friendster?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Were you on live journal?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Were you on four Square? I don't even know what
Speaker 2: four square is.
Speaker 3: I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 2: Periscope. I think that was like where are you right now?
Speaker 3: Like, oh, I kind of remember that way for like
Speaker 3: a second show your location with everybody right, which were
Speaker 3: still so weird to me, you know what.
Speaker 2: I loved and I used to stalk I think I
Speaker 2: might have one somewhere. Tumblr. Oh yeah, I think I
Speaker 2: was on Tumblr. It was sort of like, wasn't it
Speaker 2: this was gonna say? It was kind of like Pinterest, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I just remember like like.
Speaker 1: People would make like their Tumblr like it was like yes,
Speaker 1: and they were like and like, yeah, I liked live journal.
Speaker 1: I liked reading people's live journals because it was really
Speaker 1: like a blog without having to have a hosting space.
Speaker 2: For a blog. I love, I love a blog. What
Speaker 2: do you like blogs about today?
Speaker 1: So we keep calling it because because when we were
Speaker 1: on Brooklyn, Uh, sometimes we would take pictures, you know,
Speaker 1: like back backstage or like when we weren't shooting or
Speaker 1: someth thing, and if Andy was in them, he would
Speaker 1: have to approve them, and then he'd be like, no Sosh, Nosh.
Speaker 2: No Sosh, no Sosh.
Speaker 3: Where have you saw someone taking a video or a
Speaker 3: picture during like an important episode or or a secret
Speaker 3: guest star we had?
Speaker 2: Someone would always yell out no Sosh, no so yeah no,
Speaker 2: so yeah Sosh. That's why we call it. What is
Speaker 2: my relationship with Sosh?
Speaker 3: I feel like I have a hate love relationship with Sosh.
Speaker 1: Starting nice, hate out the game, love it, I hate
Speaker 1: well love for us.
Speaker 3: It's also like, you know, I think back in the day,
Speaker 3: I loved social media. I loved being on friends to
Speaker 3: I thought my Space was kind of corny. I loved
Speaker 3: early days of Facebook. No, I like I was on it,
Speaker 3: and like I think I just always felt like I
Speaker 3: wasn't cool enough for MySpace, Like it felt like cool
Speaker 3: people were on.
Speaker 2: My and I was like, I don't know how to
Speaker 2: make my MySpace.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I always felt pressure lightly it should be it should.
Speaker 2: Be cool people.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, No, I know, I was like everyone,
Speaker 1: but like, you're like next to my friggin shower curtain
Speaker 1: in my bathroom people always.
Speaker 2: Like, but I was like that first one to have
Speaker 2: like a backdrop and you.
Speaker 3: Could add music and like it was like a yeah,
Speaker 3: it was a whole thing, and I children pressure for
Speaker 3: the children who weren't alive.
Speaker 2: Then Top eight was like you had your.
Speaker 1: Friends like listed on your MySpace almost left side of
Speaker 1: the screen, and it was like you could select to
Speaker 1: your top eight friends were and like that was like
Speaker 1: a social status moment.
Speaker 2: Like if you were in somebody's top.
Speaker 1: Eight was absolutely absolutely garbage, Like why were we doing this?
Speaker 3: It was unhed why Yeah, But I loved it in
Speaker 3: the beginning because I could reconnect more easily with family
Speaker 3: member with you know, because I have family in Florida,
Speaker 3: I've got family in New York and at the time,
Speaker 3: I think I was living in New York when all
Speaker 3: this stuff came out, so like, you know, keeping up
Speaker 3: with my Jersey friends and like, I really liked it
Speaker 3: for that reason. And then as I started to do
Speaker 3: more theater, and then it became about, you know, people
Speaker 3: I would meet from other places that I had worked
Speaker 3: with that I could keep in touch with them more
Speaker 3: easily and see what shows they were doing and so
Speaker 3: or after college and so and so would book a
Speaker 3: cruise ship or a show regional theater job and you
Speaker 3: could kind of they post pictures, and I thought this
Speaker 3: is so amazing because like you don't just like lose
Speaker 3: people anymore, right, I can really stay connected with people
Speaker 3: who meant something to you in a moment and then
Speaker 3: life happens and you move away and before social media
Speaker 3: just like would never see them again.
Speaker 1: And there's something easier about like, you know, obviously we
Speaker 1: can get people's phone numbers and we can text them
Speaker 1: or call them, but there's so much work. It's so
Speaker 1: but it's and it's also so like fun to see
Speaker 1: somebody's like scrap book of like what's happening in your
Speaker 1: life right now? Like I'll want to look through your
Speaker 1: scrap book, like i'm'n look through your little photo album
Speaker 1: and see like oh you went to.
Speaker 2: This county fair, like oh ye're in Jamaica, or like
Speaker 2: oh you had a baby, you know whatever.
Speaker 1: The stepness of it is kind of like a cool
Speaker 1: element of it. I think the thing that is really
Speaker 1: hard for me and the thing that I'm striving to
Speaker 1: get more better at is like the Chelsea pretty told.
Speaker 2: Me about this phrase, and I've never forgotten it the.
Speaker 1: Compare and despair and like, yes, that is the hardest
Speaker 1: part of social for me. Like, I currently do not
Speaker 1: have Instagram on my phone.
Speaker 2: Uh it's my I'm very lucky.
Speaker 1: My husband was a social media manager for other companies
Speaker 1: and stuff, and so he manages my social media and
Speaker 1: once in a while he'll be like, you need to
Speaker 1: look through your messages, and I'll go through my messages
Speaker 1: and talk to answer people back and stuff. But like,
Speaker 1: I'm not on Instagram looking because because it makes me
Speaker 1: feel less than parent despair.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it makes me feel less. Then I look around
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, oh, I can't handle it.
Speaker 1: More.
Speaker 3: I feel like in the early days of social media,
Speaker 3: it was more of the scrap booking what we were
Speaker 3: just talking about, if anything, people maybe sometimes overshared, but
Speaker 3: more in a genuine way, you know. And then I
Speaker 3: feel like, especially with Instagram, when Instagram came on the scene,
Speaker 3: people started filtering themselves. People started becoming more self aware
Speaker 3: slash self conscious about their life and how it looks
Speaker 3: and what they want to present to people and what
Speaker 3: they don't, and that created this like false ecosystem of
Speaker 3: what people's how people are really living their lives and yeah,
Speaker 3: and then it just created all of this pressure on everyone,
Speaker 3: whether it's like is your vacation fabulous enough? Is your
Speaker 3: you know what?
Speaker 2: I mean, what are you wearing? How are you parenting?
Speaker 3: Like the onslaught of like fucking opinions and visuals that
Speaker 3: are so curated. It's just become this different thing. And
Speaker 3: that's where my my hate comes in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't. I can't because I feel that same thing.
Speaker 3: I mean, I know, I'm like a fucking I'm so
Speaker 3: hooked on Instagram.
Speaker 2: I can't doom scroll a lot, and I know it's
Speaker 2: not good.
Speaker 1: I will say my habit and I has increased a
Speaker 1: lot since not having it on my phone, Like TikTok
Speaker 1: is wimping because it's hilarious and you know, as the
Speaker 1: kids say, I built my for you page brick by brick,
Speaker 1: and it is dogs and people scaring each other, fashion
Speaker 1: of advice and people dancing too.
Speaker 2: But didn't that cut me out?
Speaker 1: I mean, like it is so funny to me as
Speaker 1: opposed to Instagram, where I'm like, you know, sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: seeing people that I h you know, I know really well,
Speaker 1: and I'm comparing myself to them or like why didn't
Speaker 1: I get invited to that event? Or like how come
Speaker 1: I'm not going to that party? Or like oh no,
Speaker 1: like they all want to dinner without me, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean I have a friend to a new friend
Speaker 1: who was like almost in tears telling.
Speaker 2: Me about uh she was.
Speaker 1: We were like both of us were out of town
Speaker 1: on jobs, and she was like, I saw this friend
Speaker 1: of mine and another friend of mine and they were
Speaker 1: at dinner together, and I thought they didn't even really
Speaker 1: like each other.
Speaker 2: And she was like.
Speaker 1: Almost in tears talking about it, and I was just like, girl,
Speaker 1: like get off of there. Stop looking at people's stories,
Speaker 1: Like just stop. You know that the heart of the
Speaker 1: flip side of that is like, well, I want to
Speaker 1: see what my friends are doing. I want to keep up,
Speaker 1: you know, Like for me, a lot of times I'll
Speaker 1: get I'll have friends that are like mad at me
Speaker 1: because it's been you know, two months since I've texted them,
Speaker 1: and suddenly I'm like, hey, what's up, what's going on?
Speaker 1: And they're like, well, if you looked at my stories,
Speaker 1: and I'm like I don't not.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, wait wait wait anyone being mad at
Speaker 3: you for not looking at their stories to keep.
Speaker 2: It's just the initiation.
Speaker 1: It's just the initial well, I mean like it is
Speaker 1: though it is this like because it is this social thing,
Speaker 1: like you just assume that, like, well, your friends are
Speaker 1: all looking at the at the stuff that you're like,
Speaker 1: it's like a mass message to all your friends, right, so,
Speaker 1: like I do have one friend that I had to Yeah,
Speaker 1: but the assumption that your friends are all actively making
Speaker 1: sure to check on your stories and see them, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I have some beef with that that.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's kind I don't think we should normalize that.
Speaker 2: I don't think we should normalize that. No, Okay, we
Speaker 2: have differing opinion, but this is good. This is good.
Speaker 2: This is good.
Speaker 1: I think it's slightly normal because you're like putting on
Speaker 1: a newsletter about your life and then if you don't
Speaker 1: hear from your friend from like multiple months because they're
Speaker 1: also busy, and then they're like, hey, how are you,
Speaker 1: And You're like, I went through this really big thing,
Speaker 1: and like I've been talking about it a lot on
Speaker 1: my stories.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know where you've been.
Speaker 3: It does necessitize where my joy I would I would
Speaker 3: if someone if I went through a big thing that
Speaker 3: I was posting about, and then I don't know why
Speaker 3: my voice starts. I start getting like all jersey and
Speaker 3: then passionate because I'm mad. And then I have a friend,
Speaker 3: you know, who haven't talked to you in a while,
Speaker 3: be like, hey, how are you. I would immediately be like, oh,
Speaker 3: they're probably not on social, like they're probably just they
Speaker 3: haven't seen they don't know, and I'd be like, oh, actually,
Speaker 3: like this this has been going on, Like, I would
Speaker 3: just jump right into it. I wouldn't be personally offended
Speaker 3: that they didn't see my fucking stories.
Speaker 1: The personal offense only last I'm judging your person's okay.
Speaker 1: Once I explained and I remind I have to remind
Speaker 1: people too. I'll be like, I'm not on social that
Speaker 1: you're going on and then they'll send me like stream
Speaker 1: or recordings of their stories and stuff, and it's really fun.
Speaker 2: That's really fun because I'm like, oh, look at that,
Speaker 2: you know, like yeah, yeah, yes, drama, that's fun. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Because it's just saying they could get the.
Speaker 3: Could skip the offended part, they could skip the offend
Speaker 3: they can skip the offendive part.
Speaker 2: That's fair. That's fair.
Speaker 1: The thing that's the thing that happens with social is
Speaker 1: like social. The thing that happens with with it is like,
Speaker 1: you know, you're looking at your friends stories and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden you're looking at like someone who,
Speaker 1: like you had to friend because of a work situation
Speaker 1: when everyone was friending each other and you don't really
Speaker 1: care and like them.
Speaker 2: And like suddenly you're like, oh, no, I'm looking at
Speaker 2: your house renovation. No, why am I deep diving into
Speaker 2: your life now? Like that? I know too much? I
Speaker 2: know too much.
Speaker 1: I know too much, and I don't want to be here.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be here so real, I don't
Speaker 1: know what what are what I guess? Like A good
Speaker 1: thing to ask is like when you are on the Instagram,
Speaker 1: what is some of your is it?
Speaker 2: Is it all friends? Or like? Do you have social
Speaker 2: accounts that like and follow? And why?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: Oh, good question. It's a mix.
Speaker 3: I've also tried to curate my Instagram for like what
Speaker 3: I see because while I was huh.
Speaker 1: Brick by brick, that's what the kids say, oh brick.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's harder to do on on Instagram. But I
Speaker 3: was at one point like following like too many news
Speaker 3: accounts and I had to Oopsie had to re arrange
Speaker 3: that because I was like, this is very very bad
Speaker 3: for my mentals. So, uh, you know, I like more
Speaker 3: funny accounts friends, design things. I love when Architectural Digest
Speaker 3: pops up on my feet.
Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, oh my god, I know. The walking
Speaker 2: tours are.
Speaker 1: So funny because you can just tell that they're stage,
Speaker 1: like nobody lives like oh and.
Speaker 2: I love by the yes. But I love when.
Speaker 3: The actor celebrity or whoever it is, like points it out,
Speaker 3: like I forget who it.
Speaker 1: Was, Dakota Dakota Dakota with like the line that I
Speaker 1: just like have a bowl full of lines like that.
Speaker 3: She was like, I'm allergic to them, Like yeah, so hilarious.
Speaker 3: Or you know, you'll just see someone be like and
Speaker 3: here's a beautiful flora arrangement that appeared here this morning.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm like, yeah, just call out the curation.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I follow a lot of like design accounts
Speaker 3: because they're really pretty to look at. Oh, an artist too.
Speaker 2: I really love following visual.
Speaker 3: Artists on Instagram and like different galleries and stuff, so
Speaker 3: I try to Yeah, so that's a more pleasant experience.
Speaker 1: We decide note we should do a more better episode
Speaker 1: of getting better at like art and art appreciation, because
Speaker 1: I really feel like you have an inner art artist,
Speaker 1: not critic, but like art appreciative person in there, and
Speaker 1: I want to learn more from that.
Speaker 2: I think we should do that. That'd be fun.
Speaker 1: I think, oh, thanks, Oh gosh, I would feel like
Speaker 1: I would have to study up because no, you know,
Speaker 1: like I feel like I know so little, but yeah.
Speaker 3: I uh so.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then you know, there's a part of like social
Speaker 3: media that like we have to do it for our jobs,
Speaker 3: and it's kind of part of the gig. It's expected.
Speaker 3: It sometimes helps us get jobs. It sometimes is another
Speaker 3: source of revenue and income for us, which saved me
Speaker 3: during the pandemic during the strike when I wasn't making
Speaker 3: any money as an actor and I got a couple
Speaker 3: of things on social media that were you know, nice paychecks.
Speaker 3: It just helped us in that moment, in those grateful
Speaker 3: for yours. I'm so grateful for that, my god, pandemic,
Speaker 3: Thank you, Butterfinger. But and yeah, so it's it's you know,
Speaker 3: so it's like kind of a job. Also, it's like
Speaker 3: a part time job, you know, making sure our social
Speaker 3: media is like active and interesting and you know, promoting
Speaker 3: the things we want people to know about also giving
Speaker 3: like little parts of ourselves. So it's like I feel
Speaker 3: like we have a different relationship with it maybe than
Speaker 3: most people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's like an element of of well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: You know, that's a good, really good question because like nowadays,
Speaker 1: so many people are actually getting audiences and true creating
Speaker 1: their own like success through social media. You know, whether
Speaker 1: it's like family that is, like talking about their parenting
Speaker 1: struggles and like suddenly you know, like blogging with our kid,
Speaker 1: which you know is its own thing.
Speaker 2: But like, yeah, or I just saw this video this.
Speaker 3: I just saw this video this morning of this guy
Speaker 3: who quit his court, his job and Corporate America and
Speaker 3: then opened a restaurant and opened two more, but like
Speaker 3: the two of them failed, and then he tried to
Speaker 3: go back to Corporate America and couldn't get a job.
Speaker 3: And then he decided they were like burning through their
Speaker 3: savings and he decided, well, I'll just cook all of
Speaker 3: our meals and then he just recorded them.
Speaker 2: He's like this amazing cook.
Speaker 3: And gained a huge following and he was like and
Speaker 3: during all this his wife had a baby, and my god, stood, yeah,
Speaker 3: and so his videos are really sweet. He's like, you know,
Speaker 3: pulling up carts up to his wife as she's like
Speaker 3: holding their new boarn and like showing everything he made
Speaker 3: for her, and it's like very wholesome and he yeah,
Speaker 3: and now he and then you know, sponsors started coming
Speaker 3: in and he started making money from it, and they're
Speaker 3: like getting back on their feet, and I was like,
Speaker 3: that's amazing.
Speaker 1: There's a chef, the hot chef that I watch on TikTok.
Speaker 1: I think his name, I think his handle is sad Boppy,
Speaker 1: and he's like very fun to watch, and I think
Speaker 1: he's like a cookbook coming out, you know, Like there
Speaker 1: are people, there are many more people that are actually
Speaker 1: dealing with social media in the way that we have
Speaker 1: to deal with it as if it's part social and
Speaker 1: part business venture. And I think like that is an
Speaker 1: additional amount of pressure because it's like, oh, how do
Speaker 1: I monetize this, you know, like sharing about my life?
Speaker 2: Like it's a lot of a lot of pressure.
Speaker 3: It's a lot and I think the people that do
Speaker 3: it right are, like you just said, like the people
Speaker 3: that use it as a stepping stone, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean that then build up to something else because
Speaker 3: you never know when the audience is going to get
Speaker 3: tired of you, you know, and like.
Speaker 2: Just saying maybe they'll never get tired of you.
Speaker 1: Out buddy, But I feel like it's stay funny, say.
Speaker 3: No, I just think it's such a crowded market that,
Speaker 3: like you said, like that chef making a cookbook to
Speaker 3: me is so smart. That's like such a smart way
Speaker 3: to do it. It's like the same way you and
Speaker 3: I have like tried to get into directing, producing and
Speaker 3: voiceover and like other things, right, and keep what else
Speaker 3: can we do? How do we build on this and
Speaker 3: not just like do the one thing? You know, that's
Speaker 3: all I was trying to say, No, that's real.
Speaker 2: That's real. I knew what you meant. I knew what
Speaker 2: you meant. I think it's like there.
Speaker 1: Are positive a lot of positive I mean, I'm talking
Speaker 1: about like a lot of negative things, but now we're
Speaker 1: talking about a positive thing, right. Like another thing that
Speaker 1: I think is really positive about my kid another my
Speaker 1: kid is off waving to me on the side. Another
Speaker 1: thing that I think is really positive about social media
Speaker 1: is like I think it's a way to connect with
Speaker 1: people that are unlike you. That yeah, can offer you
Speaker 1: a glimpse into their lives that you might not get
Speaker 1: in a different kind in a world that was smaller, right,
Speaker 1: Like it's there's a lot of like learning and education
Speaker 1: that you can get off of social I mean without
Speaker 1: I'll be very honest, without TikTok, I would not be
Speaker 1: as patient as I am with my chiddler because there's
Speaker 1: all these like child psychiatrists and psychologists and like, you know,
Speaker 1: people that are helping.
Speaker 2: It, like even like miss Rachel, I mean people like.
Speaker 1: That, like on social on the internet that are helping
Speaker 1: you with your kid, that are like going like you
Speaker 1: actually have a lot more patients than you think you know,
Speaker 1: or you're like guiding me toward these like hard conversations
Speaker 1: or whatever in different ways. Like in that way, the
Speaker 1: connectivity of social media is very very cool.
Speaker 2: And also like there's a.
Speaker 1: Lot of creativity there. I mean, what is that show
Speaker 1: English Teacher that is a new comedy that I think
Speaker 1: is hilarious and he started basically on TikTok.
Speaker 2: There's a ton of.
Speaker 1: People whose creativity has been discovered through TikTok and through
Speaker 1: other social media. It's like a connects you to your
Speaker 1: audience in a way that like, I mean, especially for people, like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I just saw yesterday I'm doing press with
Speaker 1: Ted Danson for the show that we have coming out,
Speaker 1: and like he's mesmerized by social media partially because it
Speaker 1: gives you access to people that like your work and
Speaker 1: that will talk to you about it like one on one,
Speaker 1: And it's so cool.
Speaker 2: That part is so charming.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, I mean, I can't you know, I'm sure
Speaker 1: you have many a story of people reaching out to
Speaker 1: you and being like, I never.
Speaker 2: Saw myself on TV until you. I love the character
Speaker 2: you play. I appreciate your work, I appreciate what you
Speaker 2: put out in the world, and like none of that
Speaker 2: would happen without the connectivity of social media. Like it's
Speaker 2: quite cool in that way.
Speaker 3: It has Yeah, it has its pluses, It has its plus,
Speaker 3: it has its pluses, it has its pluses. Do you
Speaker 3: like post or like, how do you I feel like,
Speaker 3: I'm I feel like you're really good at social media? Honey,
Speaker 3: say I know you're also married to Brad. Have a
Speaker 3: social manage it, Brad? Yes, he is the one I
Speaker 3: approve of all posts. I approve of all most of
Speaker 3: the time I write to.
Speaker 2: Hire Brad you might need to, might need harem Like that's.
Speaker 1: What he used to do for people. I mean, he
Speaker 1: helped build a lot of brands and stuff. And like
Speaker 1: he will write, he'll write a caption and I'll be like, no,
Speaker 1: that's not funny. I need to rewrite that caption, you know.
Speaker 2: Or like he'll say, we're gonna post this thing, Uh,
Speaker 2: what's the caption?
Speaker 1: And then I'll write it. And I look at comments
Speaker 1: a lot because he'll share them with me, especially like
Speaker 1: the really positive ones. But it's helpful to have somebody
Speaker 1: screen that stuff for you because sometimes people can be
Speaker 1: really ugly too, you know.
Speaker 2: Yes, And I don't need to. I mean, in the
Speaker 2: very big.
Speaker 3: I do get satisfaction from like deleting negative comments and
Speaker 3: or being like mute.
Speaker 2: I love that block block and the block block block
Speaker 2: all day long.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Okay, Nerd time, I thought this was really interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is from okay, hold on, uh, the risks versus
Speaker 1: a reward, the social dilemma, social media and your mental health.
Speaker 1: Like it or not, using social media can cause anxiety, depression,
Speaker 1: and other health challenges. I know we've all heard this, right,
Speaker 1: we know, I know we've all heard it. But the
Speaker 1: thing that we got to I think like that we
Speaker 1: got to remember is that social is built to provide you.
Speaker 2: A dopamine hit.
Speaker 1: Like someone like my photo, someone responded to me, how
Speaker 1: many likes did I get? You know, it's that like
Speaker 1: it's that sort of like boo, that little feeling of like,
Speaker 1: oh a little a little boo, a little something right.
Speaker 1: And the problem with engaging I think personally, I think
Speaker 1: engaging too much with that is that you forget that
Speaker 1: you can find those dopamine hits, like in your life.
Speaker 1: You know, you can find them from something that you
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just thinking about myself. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm proud of myself. Oh I'm grateful. Oh, you know,
Speaker 1: like I just think it's it can be a really
Speaker 1: scary way to train your brain into thinking that that's
Speaker 1: the only way to get that hit of dopamine. And
Speaker 1: that's the that's the that's a crummy part of it.
Speaker 1: And it's like there's studies you guys, like World Psychiatry
Speaker 1: did this study and like research shows that heavy social
Speaker 1: media uses linked with memory deficits.
Speaker 2: Surprise, surprise, this one was crazy to me. Yeah.
Speaker 3: It basically said that if you if you post a
Speaker 3: story or a picture of event, like, you're less likely
Speaker 3: to really remember it in your mind's eye. That is
Speaker 3: so because your brain is like, no, it's stored somewhere else.
Speaker 2: That is such a rough, rough, rough thing.
Speaker 3: Like And as someone who has a terrible memory, this
Speaker 3: one hit me hard because but you know what, I
Speaker 3: realize I've always had a bad memory. And I realized
Speaker 3: when I was very little, I took a lot of
Speaker 3: photos and I kept a lot of photo albums. Oh,
Speaker 3: because that's how I remembered trips. Like my mom, it
Speaker 3: blows her mind. She'll be like, remember when we went
Speaker 3: to Dominican Republic when you were eight and we did this?
Speaker 3: And I'm like no, oh, And she's like, how do
Speaker 3: you not remember? And I'm like, because I don't, Oh
Speaker 3: my god. But if I took a picture of it,
Speaker 3: if it's in a photo album, you remember, I probably
Speaker 3: remember it well because then you can leaf through it, right.
Speaker 1: Like. The other weird thing about social is that it's
Speaker 1: in this like weird. I mean, we talked about it
Speaker 1: a little bit, but it's in like a photo album
Speaker 1: in the ether somewhere that like, yes, where is it?
Speaker 1: It's not like a tangible. You know, sometimes I worry
Speaker 1: about that, like you know, when the grid ud all
Speaker 1: comes down, there's no like I don't have a book
Speaker 1: of this stuff.
Speaker 2: It's just right, am I gonna be like what the
Speaker 2: fuck did I do?
Speaker 1: And what I do?
Speaker 2: Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa? What what happened?
Speaker 3: You know, like I don't be any one day and
Speaker 3: being like I don't remember my twenties and thirty at all.
Speaker 1: Everybody has that one friend that I'm just thinking about, like,
Speaker 1: oh well, not name names, but I'm just thinking about
Speaker 1: like like, for example, like what that last time that
Speaker 1: we went to Disneyland together? And like there are some
Speaker 1: people that just live the experience of being at Disneyland
Speaker 1: and like having the fun, and there's some people that
Speaker 1: have to document every single thing that is happening. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's like while they're documenting, yes, it looks like
Speaker 1: they're having so much fun and they're sharing it with
Speaker 1: all their followers and stuff, but like when.
Speaker 2: You're with the person, they're checked out. They're like not
Speaker 2: really with you.
Speaker 3: I remember so much of that day because I did
Speaker 3: take a single photo or the only pay my sister
Speaker 3: cry laughing on Space Mountain that's so good.
Speaker 2: We'll put that up on the Instagram in such a
Speaker 2: good photo.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's so fun and a total laugh
Speaker 3: attack mountain crying, laughing.
Speaker 2: But that's the only picture we have because because we
Speaker 2: are having so much fun.
Speaker 3: We're having so much fun. Oh yeah, and you and
Speaker 3: I took one picture and rides of the Resistance. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and then the only video I took was the fireworks
Speaker 3: because your voice was ringing out. I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: I was like, I want a video of this.
Speaker 2: But I do remember.
Speaker 3: I try to remember that too when it comes to
Speaker 3: like kid stuff, yeah, like kid performances and stuff. Sometimes
Speaker 3: David and I will like try to take turns, like Okay,
Speaker 3: you take the video this time, I'll take it next time.
Speaker 3: And even if I'm taking a video, I'll try to
Speaker 3: like not watch it through the phone, do you know
Speaker 3: what I mean. Like I'll try to like set up
Speaker 3: the frame and just hold it really really still and
Speaker 3: then watch with my own eyes because I want to
Speaker 3: be in the experience. I also don't want my kids
Speaker 3: to look over at me and I'm like looking at
Speaker 3: him through through a screen, making eye.
Speaker 2: Contact with him.
Speaker 3: It's hard, but like, and sometimes the video comes out
Speaker 3: like shit, And sometimes I just don't even take a video,
Speaker 3: Like sometimes I just watch the pharments, watch the song
Speaker 3: like be there. But you know it's hard because you know,
Speaker 3: grandparents want to like see, I know everybody wants.
Speaker 1: To go and yeah you know, yeah, yeah, more better. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I guess what are your big takeaways from today?
Speaker 1: I think I know mine go ahead.
Speaker 3: That while there are we have to look for the
Speaker 3: beautiful positives and social media to keep ourselves sane, and
Speaker 3: we also have to recognize all of the detrimental things
Speaker 3: that it can bring into our mentals in our life. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and so I think having boundaries. I love that you
Speaker 3: take social media off your phone. I think I should
Speaker 3: maybe start that practice.
Speaker 2: Girl, I double dog.
Speaker 1: Dare you to take Instagram off your phone for like
Speaker 1: the next three days and see how much you reach
Speaker 1: for your phone to look at it, because like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's crazy, it's craz easy. Yeah, no, you're right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: just delete the apps just like it'll be there. So yeah,
Speaker 1: no social yourself, no socialself. What's your takeaway? I think
Speaker 1: that mine is like I'm doing the right thing for myself.
Speaker 1: By I mean, I know everybody's in front of me,
Speaker 1: like by going on and off and stuff.
Speaker 2: But like, I think it's good for me. I think
Speaker 2: it's good for me not to have, you know, I
Speaker 2: think it's I think you've.
Speaker 3: Found like a good balance or you're finding a good balance. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you let yourself indulge and like have fun with it,
Speaker 3: and then you're like and you take a break.
Speaker 1: Yes, And I encourage you know, I encourage our community
Speaker 1: to like take it off sometimes, because like it is
Speaker 1: wild how much you reach for it, especially when you're lonely,
Speaker 1: especially when you're by yourself.
Speaker 2: Like you know, I'm not saying you have to like
Speaker 2: text a friend, but it is a good thing to do.
Speaker 1: It's like but also just like be by yourself, you know,
Speaker 1: like just hang out and chill and sit for a
Speaker 1: minute and like don't look at everybody else's life, disconnect,
Speaker 1: like focus on other stuff.
Speaker 2: It's it's good for you. Yeah, discover what those dopamine
Speaker 2: hits are for you and realize yeah baby boom boom
Speaker 2: boo ooh flower bo you know, yeah, Okay, I feel
Speaker 2: a little more better.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm doing the right thing by having
Speaker 1: Also the bit is hilarious of people being like do
Speaker 1: you have TikTok on your phone.
Speaker 2: It truly is. I enjoy it. So I enjoy a
Speaker 2: good bit. I enjoy a good bit. I feel a
Speaker 2: little more better about it. Yeah, I feel more better too.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Good, Yeah, okay, cool, this is good. That was fun.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to check in with you tomorrow and
Speaker 2: see if you took. If you do, you can do it.
Speaker 2: Just start with twenty four hours. You can do it.
Speaker 2: I want to do it. I'm gonna do it.
Speaker 1: Guys, we're taking a little break for the holidays, taking
Speaker 1: some a little bit of rest, so relax, say back
Speaker 1: even sillier, stupider New Year. But we want to hear
Speaker 1: from you while we're taking our little restspit, so please
Speaker 1: keep emailing us and keep sending us MS, and we
Speaker 1: love a voice note about what you guys want to
Speaker 1: hear on the pod.
Speaker 3: You can email us at Morebetter Pod at gmail dot com, or.
Speaker 2: You can hit us up on the DMS. Just slide
Speaker 2: slide right in there, slide right in there. Yeah, Happy holidays,
Speaker 2: Happy holidays. See you next time, guys, See you next time.
Speaker 3: Bye.
Speaker 1: Dude, you have something you'd like to be more better
Speaker 1: at that you want us to talk about in a
Speaker 1: future episodes.
Speaker 2: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
Speaker 2: one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at More Better pod
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com and with a voice note if
Speaker 1: you want to be featured on the pod. Ooh More
Speaker 1: Better with Stephanie Melissa is a production from w V
Speaker 1: Sound and iHeartMedia's Mikutura podcast network, hosted by Me, Stephanie Beatriz,
Speaker 1: and Melissa Kumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid,
Speaker 1: Leo Clem, and Sophie Spencer Zaebos. Our executive producers are
Speaker 1: Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Clem at WV Sound. This episode
Speaker 1: was edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy
Speaker 1: and features original music by Maddison Davenport and Hello Boy.
Speaker 1: Our cover art is by Vincent Remis and photography by
Speaker 1: David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 2: See you next week, Saga Bye,