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Speaker 1: Lisa Lampinelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

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Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yanta. I know it all,

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Speaker 1: and her words come from her head, her heart, and

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Speaker 1: often out of her ass. This podcast should not be

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Speaker 1: misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge

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Speaker 1: grain of salt for entertainment purposes only.

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Speaker 2: These. You need help, You're the problems. Come on, come down,

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Speaker 2: go leab, take a pill. I think you're insane. Do

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Speaker 2: what I say, dumb ass, listen to me. You Hey, everybody,

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Speaker 2: welcome to shrink this with Lisa Lampanelli many episode number

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Speaker 2: whatever it is. I know you missed this. You couldn't

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Speaker 2: live without us, So until season two, We're gonna take

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Speaker 2: one letter that corresponds the one episode of season one

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Speaker 2: and then rehash you talk about it. Yent to ri

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Speaker 2: up and have a good time. Here with me is who.

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Speaker 3: I'm a Nick Scopes on Instagram and TikTok follow me.

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Speaker 2: I loving it like I'm back. You've been here, but

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Speaker 2: I'm back. That is true. You are back with a

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Speaker 2: vengeance and of course are slightly annoyed, bitter twat of

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Speaker 2: a whatever she is today. Our producer Sell ya Romano,

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Speaker 2: who can be reached at? Tell them sell.

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Speaker 3: You if you play it right?

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Speaker 4: What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: Oh boy, she doesn't have to you have to explain it. Okay,

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Speaker 2: So where can they find you?

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Speaker 4: Clam celiaunderscore underscore.

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Speaker 2: It's really shitty. I'm gonna find her a better one.

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Speaker 4: I can't pay for me to get Celia Romano.

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Speaker 2: No, okay, okay, so wait, look up Celia Romano right

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Speaker 2: now and see if it's somebody famous, let's see. And

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Speaker 2: then why would we have to pay her anyway?

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Speaker 4: Because then I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know it? Said so she'd like fall four founder.

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Speaker 2: Let's see, Ramaiah, let me see. Let's see what she

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Speaker 2: has to offer. No, there's not is there one? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Ninety two followers? Two posts?

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Speaker 2: Fucking loser, no poor thing. I mean, she probably doesn't

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Speaker 2: even post because she's just a person. She's not like

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Speaker 2: you was a thirsty bit. You needs to pretend they

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Speaker 2: have followers.

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Speaker 5: I have bolts check.

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Speaker 4: I have nineteen hundred more followers than her.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, I I want to kill you.

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Speaker 2: I know that. I know math Well, you should be

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Speaker 2: sorry that you compare and despair me.

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Speaker 3: See let's see.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, don't, don't oh no, dare you are we

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Speaker 2: I've got the month of May, I do.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's temptations, bro come on, wow, then you're gonna

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Speaker 6: get to my dead dog.

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Speaker 3: And then what oh well, speaking of dead dog, that

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Speaker 3: groundhog and.

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Speaker 2: What the fuck was that? It was a dead dog

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Speaker 2: to cook the dead dog.

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Speaker 6: Still winter and the groundhog made it still winter. So

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Speaker 6: I was like, kill the groundhog and cook it.

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Speaker 2: Like you know what, some people have to realize they

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Speaker 2: don't even really have a way with words. They don't

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Speaker 2: have that turn of phrase, that comedic thing. But you

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Speaker 2: got other qualities. And we've talked you how to say

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Speaker 2: thank you? How's that? You know how to say thank you?

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Speaker 2: How's that great? I still think we should have just

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Speaker 2: cooked the dog on the hubachia. That's not what I said.

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Speaker 6: The roundhog like the one that comes out during Groundhog

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Speaker 6: Day on February first.

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Speaker 2: No, I get it, well, like I don't know what

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Speaker 2: groundhog Day is? Yeah, I know. I have four fucking

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Speaker 2: houses at the same time. They all had a ground

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Speaker 2: two of them, their heads come up, they all leave O.

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Speaker 2: The one head going down was winter or not you count?

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Speaker 2: That's what I'd like to say. What the fuck is

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Speaker 2: the show about. This is literally how you lose listeners.

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Speaker 2: This is do you think?

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Speaker 6: So?

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Speaker 3: I think?

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Speaker 2: So? All right, well, hey, anyway, we're gonna go back

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Speaker 2: to our episode called Big Dream zero clue. You know

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Speaker 2: this was about having delusions, whether it's financially or for

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Speaker 2: a career. Suppose you, like I don't know, you grew

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Speaker 2: up in New Orleans and you were thinking to yourself,

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Speaker 2: I want to be on the read you some day.

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Speaker 2: But I say the inWORD lot. My name is Celia,

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Speaker 2: and it's she's she had to lose her illusions carried

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Speaker 2: her all the way to our Heart Media, which is

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Speaker 2: a big deal, Like this is not a shitty little company.

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Speaker 2: So Celia, whatever gave you the balls to think you

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Speaker 2: could work at iHeart? Because I think that is like

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Speaker 2: we have to have some kind of In the episode

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Speaker 2: we discussed having a little bit of delusional belief in

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Speaker 2: ourselves that we can do it. What made you think

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Speaker 2: that you were worthy knowledge?

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Speaker 6: I had a lot of knowledge of pop culture and music,

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Speaker 6: and it wasn't necessarily radio, So I just kind of

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Speaker 6: focused on what I knew, which was music and pop culture.

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Speaker 4: And also I knew that.

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Speaker 6: I was passionate enough, like because I wanted it so

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Speaker 6: bad I knew I would be able to find a

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Speaker 6: way to do it.

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Speaker 4: So I guess, yeah, delusion.

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Speaker 2: I mean, and never neglect your big knowledge base, which

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Speaker 2: is of course the groundhog. Yes, because that.

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Speaker 4: Important shit on the habachi growl.

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Speaker 2: But it's true, like talent, I'd rather take somebody who's

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Speaker 2: seventy percent talent thirty percent, just like you know what

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Speaker 2: passion I'm going for it. I think those are the

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Speaker 2: people are gonna make it.

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Speaker 4: What if I don't have this seventy Why I wasn't.

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Speaker 2: Talking about you. I was talking about my favorite people. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 2: So Nicki's you have some letters that we ignored from

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Speaker 2: last time. I do, Oh my god, gol, what are they?

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Speaker 2: Here's what I love. By the way, we've talked about

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Speaker 2: how when I print these out, I read them. I've

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Speaker 2: read them a recycled paper. So what is that on

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Speaker 2: the back.

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Speaker 5: Your shipment from Erosion rug Corp.

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Speaker 2: I ordered these little rugs because my dogs. I have

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Speaker 2: three rescue dogs, and they literally like, you can never

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Speaker 2: have expensive rugs anymore when you have dogs, because they're rescues,

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Speaker 2: they're not trained.

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Speaker 5: Well.

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Speaker 2: I did my best, and I was like, okay, so

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Speaker 2: those are rugs for the dogs. What's on the other page?

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Speaker 5: What is this the root pick sangra retreat.

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Speaker 2: So what I do is no, that's by the way,

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Speaker 2: you fucking racist that says it says a way to

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Speaker 2: the camera. Wait, by the way, it's bipuck bie racial

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Speaker 2: people of color. Whats black indig.

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Speaker 5: Non binary sweater tits with color.

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Speaker 2: Here's what that is. When Cropolo sends me, I'm old fashioned.

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Speaker 2: When cropol sends me their newsletter, I it's so long

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Speaker 2: with the offerings they have there. I print it out

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Speaker 2: and then I go through them to see what program

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Speaker 2: I want to attend there. It's a yoga meditation place

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Speaker 2: I've talked about, so that one happened to be one

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Speaker 2: that I will not be attending because it's for black

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Speaker 2: indigenous people of color and I don't think I'm allowed there.

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Speaker 2: So that's why I was on the back. Anyway, what's

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Speaker 2: the letter? By biopic? It's a biopic about people in

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Speaker 2: color indigenous guys. All right, your delusional fuck By the way,

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Speaker 2: you have a little delusion, right or no? Or you

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Speaker 2: may have the opposite.

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Speaker 3: I think I.

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Speaker 2: Think you have no delusion when it comes to stand

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Speaker 2: up and quickness and the way your mind works. You

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Speaker 2: know talent. I don't think you question it, but I

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Speaker 2: think you have it when it comes to you have

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Speaker 2: a fake it till you make it thing when it

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Speaker 2: comes to how you look, because you always like act

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Speaker 2: like you look better than you do.

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Speaker 3: What I've learned Apollo the Black, Indigenous, Biracial gay trans

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Speaker 3: People Organization is that it's about what's on the inside.

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Speaker 2: It is true.

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Speaker 5: I don't know. Honestly.

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Speaker 3: The older I get, the more I realize. Don't get

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Speaker 3: me wrong. I I would love I need to lose weight,

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Speaker 3: and I don't feel the most comfortable. But at the

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Speaker 3: same time, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Like, you're fine.

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Speaker 3: I don't love it. But at the same time I'm like, eh, still.

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Speaker 2: Getting the d well. It is true you are. I'm

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Speaker 2: proud to tell you.

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Speaker 3: You told twenty four year old me, who was just

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Speaker 3: jacked and gorgeous with.

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Speaker 2: Abs, did you have hair at the time, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But it never was great. It was a little spiky guido.

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Speaker 3: That's it. That's all I have. If you told twenty

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Speaker 3: four year old me like like the Ghosts of Christmas pass,

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Speaker 3: if you went back and you were like, hey, I

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Speaker 3: know you're all ripped and handsome. Now a couple of

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Speaker 3: years from now, you're gonna be thirty seven, you're gonna

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Speaker 3: be bald, and you're gonna have tits, and the same

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Speaker 3: quality of woman is gonna be interested in you. Is

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Speaker 3: that true or even better? And I'm gonna go no,

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Speaker 3: you go, Yeah, You're gonna be fifty pounds overweight and

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Speaker 3: women they are gonna want to talk to you, and

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Speaker 3: you have fucking literal utters hanging from your body.

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Speaker 2: Why do you wink? Why is it women just to

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Speaker 2: have poor self esteem?

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Speaker 5: Celia?

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Speaker 3: Okay, I think I talked about it real quick seriously

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Speaker 3: on the way down with Lisa. It's like me and

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Speaker 3: my buddies were talking to like, if you are a man,

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Speaker 3: I feel like nowadays, with two percent emotional intelligence, which

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Speaker 3: he has, it's like you don't even have to I mean,

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Speaker 3: I'm probably like more like thirty five forty, but.

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Speaker 2: I know, you know, you do work yourself, but.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if you have any sort of emotional intelligence, it's

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Speaker 3: just like, Plus, I'm in the later thirties, so you

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Speaker 3: meet people who have like been through the bullshit and

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Speaker 3: they're like, yeah, I'm I bang the hot guy. Let's go.

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Speaker 3: This guy's fucking hilarious, and he's fine, and he's a

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Speaker 3: little he's somewhat emotionally intelligent.

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Speaker 5: I don't care.

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Speaker 2: I'll I like it. I like it how you're when

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Speaker 2: you're saying you're going like this, and the Bengal arm

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Speaker 2: thing you shake it, don't flex. Now that you're Cora,

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Speaker 2: I gotta throw up, all right.

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Speaker 5: Not my best, not my best? Yeah, I get there.

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Speaker 2: Like this episode, not our best, go ahead letter.

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Speaker 3: I like these things. This is fun, Dear Lisa. My

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Speaker 3: friend Julian recently quiz job as a lawyer to become

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Speaker 3: a comedian.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, what an idiot? I know. I

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Speaker 2: hate him.

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Speaker 3: He's not funny, but he thinks he is. I went

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Speaker 3: to one of his shows to support him, and he

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Speaker 3: got no laughs except for the ones I forced out. Listen, Dad,

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Speaker 3: you didn't have to write.

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Speaker 2: In about my shows, Julian.

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Speaker 3: What's what's worse is that he thought he killed man.

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Speaker 3: Nothing worse than that guy. It was honestly so bad.

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Speaker 3: Do I tell him that comedy might be not my beat?

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Speaker 3: Comedy did was okay? That comedy might not be the

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Speaker 3: best fit for him? Or sorry? I let him chase

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Speaker 3: his dreams, thinks Amani, who's part of the biopic sounds

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Speaker 3: name in Austin, Texas.

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Speaker 2: Wait, so she's she's given us? Is it a she?

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Speaker 3: I can't tell Monny, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a chick name. I think so. The guy's

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Speaker 2: devoid of talent. Did she say if it's his first

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Speaker 2: time on stage?

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Speaker 3: I would assume. So he was a lawyer. He probably

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Speaker 3: made a bunch of money and he's like, I'm bored,

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Speaker 3: let's do this.

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Speaker 2: But I also think, like I've seen comics go up

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Speaker 2: even recently, Like I'm very supportive teacher. So two of

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Speaker 2: my students didn't open mic recently. And yes, you could

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Speaker 2: tell the ones who are just doing dick jokes and

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Speaker 2: stupidity and they've got nothing and no soul. But I

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Speaker 2: did see a guy that I was like, you know,

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Speaker 2: he's not getting any laughs, but there's a little something there,

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Speaker 2: there could be something there, And I was like, should

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Speaker 2: I help him? And because I want to be canonized,

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Speaker 2: and you know, we never had a Saint Lisa, and

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Speaker 2: Saint Elizabeth is different that fucking cunt. I don't support her.

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Speaker 2: I want to be Saint Lisa. I go let me

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Speaker 2: volunteer to help this guy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I think.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes even though she's was the only one providing the laughs,

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Speaker 2: he might have a little something to stick in the game.

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Speaker 3: Four.

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Speaker 2: So, I don't know, it's hard to tell someone to quit,

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Speaker 2: Like there's oftentimes I've wanted to go up to people

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Speaker 2: and just say, your time would be spent pursuing something else.

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Speaker 2: Do you have any other interests? But then maybe they

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Speaker 2: worked do enough to get it going, So I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't think her two choices are should I tell

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Speaker 2: him to quit or support him?

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Speaker 6: Like?

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Speaker 2: What were her two choices again at the end?

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Speaker 5: Uh?

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Speaker 3: Do I tell him comedy might not be the best

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Speaker 3: fit for him or let him chase his dream?

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Speaker 2: I don't think you have a choice, by the way,

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Speaker 2: because he'll chase that dream behind your back. Like there

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Speaker 2: are men who will just sneak out of the house

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Speaker 2: and go to an open mic. Would that be funny?

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Speaker 2: Like you guy who's not cheating just running to New

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Speaker 2: York Comedy Club in Stanford get an again and being

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Speaker 2: like I'm going up on a Monday at five. So

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Speaker 2: I think, like you just have to let people chase

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Speaker 2: things till the wheels fall off and you have to

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Speaker 2: sit there and watch and you have to be uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: with it. So meaning we don't have to rush into

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Speaker 2: fix it because it's about our discomfort with this guy

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Speaker 2: and him not getting what you want for him because

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Speaker 2: she wants him to get laughs, or else she wouldn't

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Speaker 2: have provided the fake ones. Yeah, does this make sense

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Speaker 2: to you?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I mean, listen, he's not hurting anybody. He's annoying people

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Speaker 3: for ten minutes at a time. Yeah, he was a

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Speaker 3: lawyer before. I'm sure it was annoying then, too.

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Speaker 2: That's true. They're always annoying whatever. I think it's because too, Like,

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Speaker 2: doesn't everyone who's at least with half a brain get

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Speaker 2: it after a while that this is not the path.

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Speaker 5: Because they don't.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, that's true, because we've seen guys who've been

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Speaker 2: in it ten years and we're just like, how do

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Speaker 2: you even stick to it?

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Speaker 3: Bro? After a month and a half, I didn't get

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Speaker 3: one laugh, it would have been over. I'm like, all right,

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Speaker 3: it's over. I think I'm done.

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Speaker 2: So it wasn't like where you would have stuck with

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Speaker 2: it because you just knew it was meant to.

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Speaker 3: Be or that third and then I was like Okay,

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Speaker 3: there might be something here, right if it was like

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Speaker 3: a year in and nothing was, Like Okay, this is what's.

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Speaker 2: So hard to tell somebody to quit. I mean, no

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Speaker 2: one wants to do that more than me. I love

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Speaker 2: telling people find something else, find a hobby, do something hobby. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but but also like I know a lot of people,

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Speaker 2: by the way, who they don't suck. But you're like,

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Speaker 2: this isn't really going anywhere, right, Like, how do you tell?

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Speaker 2: That's even harder because they've gotten a little bit of

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Speaker 2: affirmation from it, Like, oh, so, I guess for her,

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Speaker 2: the advice is the advice isn't about the asshole who's

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Speaker 2: doing comedy, who's clearly an unfunny jew. Well, you said, lawyer.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like, okay, how about you just your role

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Speaker 2: in this is to step aside. You don't have to

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Speaker 2: go see him anymore, you don't have to go fake laughs,

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Speaker 2: you don't have to co sign on any of it,

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Speaker 2: and you just have to be uncomfortable with the knowledge

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Speaker 2: that you have no power over this guy. And it's

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Speaker 2: not up to you to shatter the dream for you

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Speaker 2: know who. You need to calling the professionals for that

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Speaker 2: right to shrink this show at gmail dot com and

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Speaker 2: Lisa will shatter your dreams for you.

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Speaker 3: That's rights, dude.

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Speaker 2: We should do a whole episode on that where people

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Speaker 2: just write in and have me call their friend and

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Speaker 2: tell them they suck. Could we do that? I think so? Now, Okay,

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Speaker 2: what am I going to tell him? Just to kill himself?

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Speaker 2: At this point it's amounted to nothing, Bob the food

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Speaker 2: of your loins that turned to a fat trainer enjoy

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Speaker 2: with very short fingers. I just noticed, that's all. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they're not cute? Hey, Nick? Where could people listen to

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Speaker 2: this podcast.

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Speaker 3: To tune into the universe and you hear it the

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Speaker 3: iHeartRadio app or wherever you find a podcast.

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Speaker 2: But I would argue my Heart might be your best bet.

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Speaker 3: Probably.

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Speaker 5: I mean, we'll see, who knows.

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Speaker 2: We might be back next week. Fine,