Speaker 1: Hi Mandie, Hi Eazy, Oh my god, I am such
Speaker 1: a huge fan of you, ladies. I know I missed
Speaker 1: the deadline, but I just wanted to call and tell
Speaker 1: you guys so awesome you are. Mandy, you are out
Speaker 1: here repetent for the thick girls like myself, and you
Speaker 1: have given me so much confidence. And I just love
Speaker 1: you so much, um, both of you readies for teaching
Speaker 1: me a lot about myself and how to embrace my
Speaker 1: sexuality and not be ashamed of a lot of what
Speaker 1: society UM puts out there for women. And you guys
Speaker 1: make my days so much better and I appreciate and
Speaker 1: Mandy again, I love you so much, girl. I gotta
Speaker 1: get my blue check game up like you. I got
Speaker 1: one so far. I'm trying to wrack them up in
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen. But I love you Dye so much. To
Speaker 1: keep doing what you do. I learned so much from
Speaker 1: you guys, and keep it going. I love you. I
Speaker 1: would say my name, but I don't want anybody who
Speaker 1: like him but kissings think it luckily, just love you
Speaker 1: a game by Oh wait, I do I've heard something? Mother?
Speaker 1: How do you not know? Can you let it keep playing?
Speaker 1: For you? Don't need to keep playing. Anybody knows this.
Speaker 1: The fucking video guy knows this. Who is this? You
Speaker 1: know what? I don't know what whole you've been? Who
Speaker 1: is that? I've heard it, I've heard the little do
Speaker 1: you are you gonna act like you've never done a
Speaker 1: podcast before? Who's the bike? Up? God? Damn, you still
Speaker 1: don't know this? You know what? Mandy? This is? Who's
Speaker 1: the one that white? Guys? Is it you? Because what
Speaker 1: the fun is going on? I'm really confused? Who is that?
Speaker 1: It's any r D. It's parrelling me on It's called lemon.
Speaker 1: Oh that's where I saw her performing and I got
Speaker 1: shaded so hard ten minutes ago for noting and loving
Speaker 1: hip hop ship Please, this is brand new, probably just
Speaker 1: came out. I don't listen to the radio. I listened
Speaker 1: to what I download. It's just something I haven't downloaded.
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you want me to do? Anyways? Guys, Um,
Speaker 1: welcome to fucking fuck the bullshit. This is my first
Speaker 1: time seeing Wheezy in No, it's not. I'm right, I
Speaker 1: definitely just saw you last week. Kind of up. Um,
Speaker 1: welcome guys to yet another episode of horrible Decisions. I'm
Speaker 1: your girl Mandy B and I'm Weezy, And today we
Speaker 1: are starting off the new year with yet another guest
Speaker 1: who's late. But listen, y'all, if y'all can give me
Speaker 1: the time to give guests to not be in CP time.
Speaker 1: Since I know a lot of y'all is black, let's
Speaker 1: have the discussion real quick. How early do I need
Speaker 1: to tell black people to show up to show up
Speaker 1: on time? I feel like I always like for me,
Speaker 1: it's always fifteen minutes, which is why always have a
Speaker 1: fifteen minute like, so we recorded right now at six pm.
Speaker 1: I say, girls, can you shot show up by five
Speaker 1: forty five? She's about saying she's gonna arrive at six fifteen,
Speaker 1: which that makes me your thirty minute. And then I'm
Speaker 1: sure I'm gonna like her. I'm not. I'm positively gonna
Speaker 1: like her. You're just a bit. But I hate how
Speaker 1: people are just not considerative. Other people are the latest
Speaker 1: guests we've ever had. It was funny, people like I
Speaker 1: wish you did longer episodes. No, he just know then
Speaker 1: they just showed up thirty minutes late. No, mart Marcus
Speaker 1: also showed up late from hip hop We you don't
Speaker 1: remember because we just started recording and we ended up
Speaker 1: paying for extra STUDIOSI um, this is really frustrating. Foreen, guys,
Speaker 1: I need all of my black people to come together
Speaker 1: and show up on time. I have something to talk
Speaker 1: about this random Yeah. I couldn't sleep last night, so
Speaker 1: I went on Lipstick Ali to see what ship people
Speaker 1: talk about. They think, let me just keep going to
Speaker 1: that trash it's trash sight. But I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 1: one thing. The people they keep listening to us, so
Speaker 1: it's clearly people that some of them comes, they're miserable,
Speaker 1: they probably really hate my guts and are just trying
Speaker 1: to think. But some of them are patrons, so they
Speaker 1: do listen to the show. This is where they spilled tea,
Speaker 1: like whatever, they really think we're not going to have that.
Speaker 1: They they're like they hate each other. They were like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you're starting to notice how much they
Speaker 1: don't like each other blah blah, And I'm like, nothing
Speaker 1: has changed. We hated each other the same from the
Speaker 1: very first show. So I don't really know why they
Speaker 1: think it's getting work. Why you keep reading it? Because
Speaker 1: that's okay. People that love us follow us on Instagram
Speaker 1: and write us a lot unless they're anonymous emails. I
Speaker 1: don't feel like I really get that much honest feedback
Speaker 1: unless it's from my friends. My friends keep they're like,
Speaker 1: y'all were wrong, y'all did this wrong. You should have
Speaker 1: researched this more about HIV and blah blah blah, which
Speaker 1: I understand. But other than that, besides the ship talking stuff,
Speaker 1: these are people that are honest. Because they're anonymous. It
Speaker 1: might be trolling, but they're trolling is fun, but listen,
Speaker 1: it's sucking honest. So I don't know why they say
Speaker 1: we argue too much now and I'm just like, I
Speaker 1: feel like we've always hated each other as much. But yeah,
Speaker 1: um they oh, oh my god, they know where I
Speaker 1: work now, Like it's crazy, dude. No, They've all like
Speaker 1: they're all, Mandy do this, how's manny doing finance and
Speaker 1: and and being a who at the same time, she's
Speaker 1: got to pick one. I don't. I don't understand why
Speaker 1: I can't suck dick and have a job. Like it's
Speaker 1: really confusing me. But but yeah, they're all guessing who
Speaker 1: the funk we're fucking she's They're trying to guess who
Speaker 1: loverboy is they're trying to get pretty close. Um, it's
Speaker 1: just fucking annoying at this point, so I don't go
Speaker 1: on there. Not only that they think that we're confused
Speaker 1: as too because we're traditional. They were talking about us
Speaker 1: wanting to cook for our man and do stuff for
Speaker 1: our man. In the b K Chat episode they dragged
Speaker 1: for filth, how we talked to mean Okay, now, when
Speaker 1: I look back at it, I blamed it on you.
Speaker 1: Remember when we left to everything, But when I listened
Speaker 1: to it, we were both pretty You need to really
Speaker 1: re listen to stuff because then you'll start hearing a
Speaker 1: lot of bullshit. The show asked us. I, Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: they were like saying, which is easy to think of
Speaker 1: Nandy after the married thing, and blah blah blah, and um,
Speaker 1: I guess like someone had also brought up how when
Speaker 1: we discussed you calling me promiscuous and which I'll stand
Speaker 1: by every motherfucking things. So now and like, okay, that
Speaker 1: was a episode that was a while ago. But one thing,
Speaker 1: and mind you, this is just us filling time and
Speaker 1: for our latest latest guess I do want to say
Speaker 1: it wasn't necessarily that I think in the moment it
Speaker 1: bothered me because it felt like such a label and
Speaker 1: like I've been telling you recently, like I hate this whole,
Speaker 1: like you're this and this and that, like I've been
Speaker 1: called a hoe fully clothed or before someone knew me,
Speaker 1: or just because I won't talk to guys, like fuck
Speaker 1: you ho. It's like it's just you so much. And
Speaker 1: then I think, like the word promiscuous is also labeled
Speaker 1: as a bad thing. Well, promiscus to me, like I
Speaker 1: was up as an adjective and not necessary a label,
Speaker 1: and as an adjective as defined by Wikipedia, it's stuck
Speaker 1: and like, but if you're skinny, you're skinny. There's a
Speaker 1: definition for skinny. Still if you light skinned, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't really care if people think I'm promiscuious or not.
Speaker 1: Some people, in their minds, promiscuous is going to be
Speaker 1: the word they use. Um. But see what you just said,
Speaker 1: that's growth and you don't know it. But just said
Speaker 1: I don't care if people see me as promiscuous. That
Speaker 1: is motherfucking growth, Because how would I care? I didn't
Speaker 1: care because where we started, when we started, we started
Speaker 1: this show, when who said let's call it horrible? But
Speaker 1: when we started this show. We talked about this off air.
Speaker 1: You were caring about how people were I'm not anything.
Speaker 1: This is I'm trying to be your therapist here. I'm black.
Speaker 1: I have black therapist. Well I'm happy and we're gonna
Speaker 1: do this right now. And I feel like you literally
Speaker 1: just showed a little bit of growth, which I'm proud
Speaker 1: of you. I mean, that's my good thing to say.
Speaker 1: I think I can't like it was a different like
Speaker 1: I always said I didn't care, but now I'm like
Speaker 1: really starting not to give a book, Like I can
Speaker 1: read terrible things about myself Now I'm like, oh, and
Speaker 1: maybe that's because I smoke more marijuana or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: But speaking of that, my therapist is like really trying
Speaker 1: to get me some weed. And I just really appreciate
Speaker 1: him for that. Um And it's funny because like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I guess you can't find this. He know
Speaker 1: his name of my podcast. But I was telling you
Speaker 1: how I'm like trying to trick him into giving me
Speaker 1: the next How do you Why are you tricking? It's
Speaker 1: so simple, like I'm already stressed out and ship and
Speaker 1: so terrible. By the way, I just look up the
Speaker 1: symptoms exactly, and I'm just like, I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I'm just feeling really anxious, particularly in the workplace, and
Speaker 1: I feel like it's affecting my well being. You're terrible.
Speaker 1: What do you think I could do for that? And
Speaker 1: then look at me and be like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe we should try something like an
Speaker 1: edge of the past. Maybe I'm like, really think, I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I should do like drawing. You know,
Speaker 1: what the funk all of these things do? I got
Speaker 1: prescribed coding and you were like, just lose it on
Speaker 1: the train. They'll give you another prescription. I'm like, no, bit,
Speaker 1: you're not taking my coding. Well, I'm saying, if you
Speaker 1: say you lost it like right after you got it,
Speaker 1: they'll probably give you another one. Yeah, you're pretty trashed
Speaker 1: for that. So I guess I wanted UM because we
Speaker 1: talked about this, I want to say, on the Lisa
Speaker 1: sliftson episode and UM or maybe before that. So we
Speaker 1: talked about, of course UM writing Dick, and that was
Speaker 1: so weird that you were like, I never well, it's
Speaker 1: not that I've never wrote Dick, but I'm you know,
Speaker 1: a bitch. I'm on the big side. So writing Dick
Speaker 1: for me is a lot of motherfucking work. I think
Speaker 1: it's a lot of work for anybody. I worked out
Speaker 1: five days a week and I still feel like I'm
Speaker 1: going to pass out, That's what I'm saying. And so
Speaker 1: I am just not a fan of writing Dick. I
Speaker 1: think it's a calvs thing. I'm trying to think what
Speaker 1: part of me hurts while writing Dick. But anyway, we'll listen,
Speaker 1: and you got a lot and these guys for real.
Speaker 1: So anyways, last night I was late. You know that
Speaker 1: Naga and um I had probably one of the best
Speaker 1: orgasmic experiences. I don't know if it was because I
Speaker 1: was on coding or if that was definitely, but the
Speaker 1: dick was so so I was writing him. He was
Speaker 1: sitting down in the sitting down position and I was
Speaker 1: sitting on him facing the opposite way and going up
Speaker 1: and down, and I like almost couldn't stand up. He
Speaker 1: was almost laughing at me because I came multiple times
Speaker 1: like that, and I was like, Nigga, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't be writing your dick. This is good. And I
Speaker 1: had to tell him. I was like, don't get comfortable.
Speaker 1: This ain't gonna happen. But he was like, man, you
Speaker 1: could barely stand up, like it just kept I just
Speaker 1: kept shaking and it was fucking well. For one, amazing
Speaker 1: if you had your medicine that was prescribed. I just
Speaker 1: want to say that. It was sounding like I know
Speaker 1: they know I'm the crazy one, but yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: you were on that, so you're already like super relaxed
Speaker 1: and everything feels you fork. So that's probably why you
Speaker 1: came super hard. But second, this is exactly why BIT
Speaker 1: just like to ride because you feel it on your
Speaker 1: It was so good, and mind you. I told him
Speaker 1: before um, because you know, I just had surgery. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna talk about that. But I was like, you gotta be,
Speaker 1: you know, gentle, because he'd be sucking me like we
Speaker 1: like poor star set Like you gotta be gentle. So
Speaker 1: we started with the writing thing and I was just
Speaker 1: like feeling I actually felt the orgasms in my stomach.
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, well, maybe I need to turn
Speaker 1: around because this might not be a good thing that
Speaker 1: I'm feeling this. It was just a look I'm left
Speaker 1: her right now, bitch, I'm really going back thinking like
Speaker 1: if I show you hold on, I want to show you.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm gonna show me this. If I show
Speaker 1: you this text, No, this text message after this is
Speaker 1: how you know what's good? I said, I said it
Speaker 1: wouldn't stop. Oh my god. Let me just first start
Speaker 1: by saying, there is a gift I don't know. It
Speaker 1: looks like a busted pipe and there's just like water
Speaker 1: like spewing out of it. And she put liked with
Speaker 1: four ease like that, daddy, don't I don't have a
Speaker 1: good studio session. Then she sends the game and put
Speaker 1: it wouldn't stop upside don't smiley face, definitely need one
Speaker 1: more where you jet set? Then when he said, laughing
Speaker 1: my ass off twelve hours later, because well, she sends
Speaker 1: Jack Conan O'Brien jumping up and down, happy Hi, And
Speaker 1: look we was talking about riding dick and you're the
Speaker 1: perfect person to be walking in But that all right?
Speaker 1: Guess is here? Guys, she's wearing we recorded this ship
Speaker 1: and thigh high boots. So we're gonna set you deep
Speaker 1: yourself or your husband as well. Okay, so we're gonna
Speaker 1: sit you over No, let's set you right here. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: sit her over there. I want to look you can
Speaker 1: look right next to you. Okay, no, now we're gonna
Speaker 1: put it right here, all right, So we might want
Speaker 1: to bring him on as well, um, because you know
Speaker 1: we got some questions. Um, so guys, I guess we
Speaker 1: can introduce our guests. Who is here? Um? We have
Speaker 1: Tyomi who every one? Well? Yeah everyone? Um. So it's
Speaker 1: so crazy because I think between Instagram and Twitter, everyone
Speaker 1: was just like, why you ain't had it on the show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is who you need? Bring her on the shot.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, So then we were talking,
Speaker 1: but it was while you were out of town. It
Speaker 1: was over the holiday. There were studio dealing with all
Speaker 1: of this. I'm like, okay, we're gonna We're gonna get
Speaker 1: you in here. Girl, just hold out. Um, do you
Speaker 1: live in the right Yeah, I'm like part time between
Speaker 1: New York and Chicago. So I got married on saturdayation.
Speaker 1: I saw a picture of you guys. So you guys
Speaker 1: are so like so it's like a book cover. I know,
Speaker 1: it's very like time. So like cocoa butter love Shay
Speaker 1: butter coconut oil. Instance, Yeah, you look like type you
Speaker 1: have instant when Yeah, what's this like incense? Male name?
Speaker 1: Actually it's his name night in. Oh, maybe we gotta
Speaker 1: start sucking two instance with names and maybe they'll come
Speaker 1: into our life. I do like say, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't had African dick be small though. Um I'm the
Speaker 1: ones I've had. African American dick is great, but African
Speaker 1: African them maybe because if they were paying for it,
Speaker 1: maybe that's why. Oh you might be right, Well, they're married,
Speaker 1: that's why they pay it, not because they dick small. Um. Anyways, anyways, guys,
Speaker 1: we want to go ahead and I guess introduce you.
Speaker 1: So you're a sexpert, you're a blogger, you're a pleasure
Speaker 1: like trainer, you do you do so many things, so
Speaker 1: let our listeners know exactly what you're known for. UM.
Speaker 1: I am known for sex education. I've been teaching for
Speaker 1: the last seven years, primarily online. I've toured the world
Speaker 1: with my classes. UM. I have a YouTube channel where
Speaker 1: I show people how to get into like different So,
Speaker 1: like sixteen million views on how to ride? Did we
Speaker 1: to show like with somebody from the audience. We picked
Speaker 1: a girl for Mandy to demonstrate on it was not good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't know you need to agree for that.
Speaker 1: You don't but you know, it's like just one of
Speaker 1: those things that's not something that you just know how
Speaker 1: to do. It's it's takes take practice. You have to
Speaker 1: be in shape. When I say in the shape, I
Speaker 1: don't mean like you know, fitness guru in the gym.
Speaker 1: Like there's a specific set of muscles that are being
Speaker 1: used when you're on top, so we have to develop them.
Speaker 1: We just talked about writing real quick, because I don't
Speaker 1: need to have it in for you to talk about writing,
Speaker 1: but one of my favorite things I need to know
Speaker 1: that because I just rode again from you. We were
Speaker 1: just saying that hurts, like because I always feel like
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if you're in shape or not like that,
Speaker 1: it's your hip flexus. Your hip flexus, I feel like,
Speaker 1: get to my legs. I feel like like calves or something.
Speaker 1: Do I not? Maybe I mean think about that's that
Speaker 1: machine you go in the gym, but think about it too,
Speaker 1: Like you don't sit in that position often at all.
Speaker 1: And we sit down most of the time, so like
Speaker 1: I feel like I do on my squatty party. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like we we sit down so much like our our
Speaker 1: hip muscles and our leg muscles get tight and they
Speaker 1: get weakened like we are. We pretty much lip sedentary lifestyles.
Speaker 1: So so how do I make like how do you
Speaker 1: every day? That's it stretching, not like not squats or something,
Speaker 1: stretch me squats, any type of like leg lifts or kickbacks,
Speaker 1: any type of lower body exercise will work for it.
Speaker 1: But I teach a class specifically that targets the muscles
Speaker 1: that you use during riding, and it kind of like
Speaker 1: simulates it. It's like a mixture of twerking and like
Speaker 1: hip rolling, but literally it's you doing it full out
Speaker 1: for like at least three minutes at a time per song.
Speaker 1: How many people pass out? Not many. It's it's challenged,
Speaker 1: especially when I'm kind of lazy, like I could suck
Speaker 1: a dick and don't get tired as much as Okay,
Speaker 1: well I didn't work, so I'll just play on my
Speaker 1: stomach now, just workout, especially when like you know, if
Speaker 1: you have really wet pussy in and like his size,
Speaker 1: like he keeps sleeping now a little bit, like you
Speaker 1: gotta really adjust it. It's I don't think men realize
Speaker 1: how much be going on through our minds when we're
Speaker 1: trying to not only please ourselves, but please them, Like,
Speaker 1: aside from not dying with a dick down my throat,
Speaker 1: it's like when I'm fine and the city it's not
Speaker 1: a job for nothing. When I'm finally taking it, it's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: does this feel good for him? And then apparently there's
Speaker 1: a grinding thing that a lot of females do when
Speaker 1: they're on dicks that don't feel good for me about that, like, oh,
Speaker 1: we don't love because the it's supposed to be a stroke,
Speaker 1: just like how he strokes you, So the vagina is
Speaker 1: supposed to slide on and off the dick. And if
Speaker 1: you're just sitting there grinding, if he's deep and you're
Speaker 1: grinding and there's still some like movement in there, like
Speaker 1: a little swirl, it could feel good. But for the
Speaker 1: most part though, because most women are just sitting there
Speaker 1: scooting school in their clips on his tail best and
Speaker 1: he's like person. But I feel like, I mean, we
Speaker 1: do enough, look and I could, like you could take some.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's so much pressure put on people
Speaker 1: in general for what is supposed to be done. But really,
Speaker 1: if you never want to ride dick ever in your life,
Speaker 1: you don't have to listen for the three years, right,
Speaker 1: exactly three and you can't believe all you do well
Speaker 1: God damn, but I mean I haven't asked. That's why
Speaker 1: they like to behind me. I was gonna say, when
Speaker 1: you have asked, don't matter however, being on the skin,
Speaker 1: your side, my hands, and yeah, you're doing when you
Speaker 1: had when you are a thick girl. Like there are
Speaker 1: things that can substitute for riding on top, because for
Speaker 1: most guys, if you're thinking you get on top, it's
Speaker 1: a wrap there. Like I want to have controls and
Speaker 1: then get behind you. But even then, like you can't
Speaker 1: even really throw it back that much because if you
Speaker 1: start throwing it back, depending on the guy, he'd be
Speaker 1: like whoa, whoa too much? Okay, then I'll just can't back. Well,
Speaker 1: I this was I appreciate that we were riding dick. Um,
Speaker 1: I guess intro that we just had. We normally start
Speaker 1: with icebreakers, and I did want to get into these
Speaker 1: icebreakers because they kind of I picked them because they
Speaker 1: kind of relate to what you do as well. Okay,
Speaker 1: so the first one is gonna get into kind of
Speaker 1: what you do. Um, so it's would you rather be
Speaker 1: able to speak every language and lose the ability to
Speaker 1: write or write in every language and lose the ability
Speaker 1: to speak. And I know you do you speak second, right,
Speaker 1: So you would rather lose the ability to write. Oh,
Speaker 1: you would rather write in every language and lose the
Speaker 1: ability to speak. So you're better with your writing than speaking,
Speaker 1: great with both. But like writing is so therapeuty for me,
Speaker 1: I would just say about to be a mute and
Speaker 1: just be able to Yeah, I love our love writing.
Speaker 1: I mean most of my career is writing. Like I
Speaker 1: run a blog, I write for cashious life. I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean it's gonna be a lot harder to have
Speaker 1: a job if you can't write. Then if you could
Speaker 1: just yeah, because like literally for the government, most of
Speaker 1: my jobs exactly unless you dictate it. I mean you
Speaker 1: can just put on the microphone and then okay, okay.
Speaker 1: So here's the second one. Would you rather increase your
Speaker 1: level of sexual romance or your sexual experimentation? Um, sexual sperimentation?
Speaker 1: So you would rather increase that because I think we're
Speaker 1: all the things personal though maybe she's already got such
Speaker 1: a good romance level, like going on, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: romance is really what you make it, and everybody gives
Speaker 1: romance all the meaning it has, Like giving flowers could
Speaker 1: be romantic to some people but not to others, Like
Speaker 1: some women women might not think that, you know, receiving
Speaker 1: flowers is romantic. So I would rather experiment with sex
Speaker 1: over you know, the whole romantic with you being a
Speaker 1: sex educator and helping people through the bedroom, is there
Speaker 1: anything left for you to experience a people? There's a
Speaker 1: whole They ask us that a lot, a lot, especially
Speaker 1: if you go on to B D S, M and kink.
Speaker 1: That's what are your top two things that just came
Speaker 1: in your head with kink of things you haven't tried
Speaker 1: that you want to, Um, maybe like sex on a
Speaker 1: roller coaster, just that possible though it is possible to
Speaker 1: think about it sexy. Oh you know the whole like
Speaker 1: th real seeking thing and my exhibition is too so
Speaker 1: okay um, and then like I just want to have
Speaker 1: a big orgy. I mean I've had one before, but
Speaker 1: like how many people were in the one that you've had? Um,
Speaker 1: it was like four guys and it was three girls.
Speaker 1: But I was kind of just like doing my thing
Speaker 1: with one, so I wasn't involved with everybody, So it
Speaker 1: was just like everybody having sex at the same time
Speaker 1: in the same place kind of a thing. Was this
Speaker 1: a front thing or was this a swinger sex club?
Speaker 1: It was like we were in Vegas and no more
Speaker 1: we get it. Yeah your vagina Vegas. Yeah. So would
Speaker 1: you rather have amazing sex the last forty seven seconds
Speaker 1: or average sex for ten minutes? Both of those are
Speaker 1: whacked Well, yeah, amazing for one minute, almost amazing sex
Speaker 1: with me just hitting my A spot repeatedly, So I'll
Speaker 1: take that, and you know that's the kink. We're gonna
Speaker 1: get into what the A A spot is and then a
Speaker 1: little big guys, would you rather be a set slave
Speaker 1: for a month or we're a chastity device and not
Speaker 1: be able to have sex or math device? Because sex
Speaker 1: slave that ship could get crazy, Like you know what's crazy.
Speaker 1: I kind of fantasize fetisize that or I don't know
Speaker 1: what to say, but that's kind of that's kind of
Speaker 1: one thing I would I would know, I would like
Speaker 1: to kind of be a sex slave or like a
Speaker 1: weekend because somebody has you literally have no right saying
Speaker 1: when I say something, no, no, you have I would
Speaker 1: like to be a sex slave, so you have no right,
Speaker 1: so like right so just think about it for a second,
Speaker 1: a black guy, because if you are a black guy,
Speaker 1: black straight, Okay, are you thinking submission or do you
Speaker 1: know what a sex slave entails. A sex slave entails
Speaker 1: you doing whatever the guy wants sexually, right, So you
Speaker 1: got to think about this. You have to ask if
Speaker 1: you want to stand up listen, Oh, that's that, But
Speaker 1: it's beyond that, Like there are some guys who are
Speaker 1: into like pissing on you, shooting on you, beating you
Speaker 1: in the face. You can have hard limits, you know, right,
Speaker 1: So if you're a sex slave and you're like, okay, um,
Speaker 1: you're agreeing to it, and you're like, whatever I want
Speaker 1: to do, let's limit that to a sex slave with
Speaker 1: the niggas, I know they don't even wanted to do,
Speaker 1: no ship more than what I want to do being submissive.
Speaker 1: Though that's not really like a sex slave, like people say,
Speaker 1: think of fifty Shades of Grade when she had to
Speaker 1: sign all that stuff, even though it's a very vanilla
Speaker 1: movie to something, that's the best example of what it means.
Speaker 1: You say, sex slave is all bets are off. It's
Speaker 1: whatever that person wants you to do unless you do
Speaker 1: sign some kind of contract before. But if there's no contract,
Speaker 1: it's like you're just submitting to whatever. And when you
Speaker 1: when you give them that permission, something switches, like because
Speaker 1: once they know you don't have any limits, anything can
Speaker 1: be done. You don't know what the topped the last
Speaker 1: thing you did? I did it for like an hour
Speaker 1: and it was too much. Okay, well it's so crazy y'all.
Speaker 1: Still haven't um wean me off of not wanting to
Speaker 1: be a sex slave. Oh, you can do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, just be ready for whatever, you know,
Speaker 1: and i'd be telling this whatever, So it makes sense.
Speaker 1: So the last question is would you rather not be
Speaker 1: able to see during sex or not be able to
Speaker 1: touch during sex? See? Because I get blindfolded anyway? Oh yes,
Speaker 1: blind really good? Really, I won't get blindfolded again. I
Speaker 1: got blindfolded, took his condom off, surprising me. When he
Speaker 1: took before he took the blindfold off, he was like
Speaker 1: up here, felt mad at me. That's bad. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: we actually talked about that too, But that's why I
Speaker 1: was like, I have kind of PTSD now from being held,
Speaker 1: so I don't want the blindfold. I had a very
Speaker 1: bad and a very good experience. My worst one was
Speaker 1: our first episode the Missing Condom. This guy like really
Speaker 1: tried because he felt like I was just too sexually advanced,
Speaker 1: and he just he blindfolded me right out into the
Speaker 1: shower and he's like, meet me in the bedroom. I'm
Speaker 1: like where that sounds bad already now. The best one
Speaker 1: I've ever had was my first time having sex with
Speaker 1: someone I had known for months, so I felt comfortable
Speaker 1: enough to do this and he, uh, he told me
Speaker 1: to stand, I mean, be on my knees, turned away
Speaker 1: from my front door, and when he came in, he
Speaker 1: blindfolded me, didn't take it off until he was inside
Speaker 1: of me. It was like forty five minutes of four plane.
Speaker 1: I was like, when do I get to see you?
Speaker 1: And I was touching his face. It's everything got more intense. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've actually wanted to ask well her boyfriend a few times,
Speaker 1: but I feel like he's gonna be like asking to
Speaker 1: do what another niggaid, can't you He listened to the
Speaker 1: shows blin him exactly what she wants to do, the
Speaker 1: exact same thing that she did. Yeah, he could do
Speaker 1: it better. I mean, look, no matter what the sex
Speaker 1: act is, it's not like just reserve for one person
Speaker 1: because it's like, hey, it was great, but I want
Speaker 1: to do with you. It's not like you never know
Speaker 1: if at that point, come on, all right, well, I'm
Speaker 1: so glad you brought it up because I don't even
Speaker 1: think I told you he was gonna mention this. I
Speaker 1: can't remember if I sent you this or not. But
Speaker 1: the A spot, So you did a blog on it.
Speaker 1: You talked a lot about this A spot, and all
Speaker 1: I know is about the G spot so and the
Speaker 1: P spot that's the prostate one for men um. So
Speaker 1: I want to know what this A spot is. Um,
Speaker 1: Can you give us maybe a definition and let our
Speaker 1: listeners know how they can reach this if maybe they
Speaker 1: haven't been able to find the G spot and this
Speaker 1: is another way for them to reach orgasm. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: A spot is actually deeper within the vagina, so yeah,
Speaker 1: the G spot is only two inches within the vagina,
Speaker 1: right on the front of the wall. Like all right, okay,
Speaker 1: we get that, but not everyone is like comfortable with
Speaker 1: G spot simulation. I know I'm not, Okay, shout out
Speaker 1: to you. I don't like it. So I feel like
Speaker 1: it's like I feel like the pulling and then I
Speaker 1: think about nails and I'm on the outside here because
Speaker 1: I like, I can't heard about it everyone who's different,
Speaker 1: like I just I really just don't like to feel.
Speaker 1: But the hay spot though it's deeper, it's on the
Speaker 1: front wall of the vagina as well. It's up near
Speaker 1: the cervix and when it's stroke, of course, it's in
Speaker 1: a rogeni zone. So when it's stroke it creates like
Speaker 1: these really guscy like waves of orgasms and the vagina
Speaker 1: just gets extremely moist, and you probably did, but it's
Speaker 1: it's with deep penetration and it gets pretty up there.
Speaker 1: It's kind of big, yep, as long as you are
Speaker 1: aiming towards the front of the vagina, so like towards
Speaker 1: the belly button, you'll find it there. And can it
Speaker 1: be like now do Morris men that are listening, can
Speaker 1: they do this with their hands or with they can
Speaker 1: do it with their hands and their penises, you know,
Speaker 1: so a hand can reach far enough because the vagina
Speaker 1: is only about five and I don't get to your
Speaker 1: service of course, right, So you had one he got
Speaker 1: right up in the it's probably where it's stock. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's a spot that people don't really know about,
Speaker 1: but they've probably felt it because men can feel it
Speaker 1: to like when they hit it, it feels like kind
Speaker 1: of slippery. Okay, okay, so once they hit that spot,
Speaker 1: you both like simultaneously will go, oh my god, what
Speaker 1: is that? You know, because it's just it feels really good,
Speaker 1: and as it's repeatedly stroked, it's like the orgasms. They're
Speaker 1: not like super hard legs shaking orgasms, but they feel
Speaker 1: like they radiate from your pelvis and just kind of
Speaker 1: go throughout your body and you just become waste and
Speaker 1: they just come back to back to back. It's I
Speaker 1: have a question that has been brought up a lot.
Speaker 1: We had a doctor on the debunked um the squirting. Okay,
Speaker 1: so like can we talk about like the fluid because
Speaker 1: you're mentioning like cushiness and stuff like that, Like how
Speaker 1: is this secretion happening during squirting? What spot is it from?
Speaker 1: And is it mixed with some p in it? Because
Speaker 1: a lot of people are nervous about her face. Well
Speaker 1: know a lot of people are nervous that they're yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course you're nervous that you're gonna pe on somebody
Speaker 1: because it's coming from the same hole that you pee from,
Speaker 1: it from your eurethra. But the source of squirting is
Speaker 1: not from the bladder. It's from the skins gland, which
Speaker 1: is literally the same as the male prostate. It's just
Speaker 1: shrunken down and it sits right near the opening of
Speaker 1: the urethra. But now when we watch in porn, how
Speaker 1: these girls are like shooting out? And I've heard from
Speaker 1: a porn star to be nameless, but she said that
Speaker 1: people that were doing squirting sings for drinking mad water before.
Speaker 1: And yeah, you have to like my when when I
Speaker 1: when the guy who likes to be piste on, when
Speaker 1: he has me squirt, he wants me either drunk or
Speaker 1: he'll drink, but you on. So that's what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: what we're watching on film is that real? Are these
Speaker 1: girls pein? No, the average woman in porn is peeing,
Speaker 1: she's just drinking. So when it really irritates me when
Speaker 1: guys are like mad pressed to try to make their
Speaker 1: women squirt, and I'm like, hey, you don't even understand
Speaker 1: that what you're seeing in porn is unrealistic because it
Speaker 1: is forced and it is um exaggerate. It The average
Speaker 1: woman can squirt anywhere from a few drops to like
Speaker 1: maybe a half a pint or more, depending on like
Speaker 1: her body and stuff and also her hydration levels. But
Speaker 1: the fluid is not P. Now, can a woman make
Speaker 1: a mistake and it's not not even really mistake, is
Speaker 1: just what happens to your body. Can a woman like
Speaker 1: P during sex? Yeah, she can. It's called incontinence, you know,
Speaker 1: especially if you're a woman that has had a child
Speaker 1: or two and you know your bladder is kind of weak.
Speaker 1: But um, squirting legit is just as a clear fluid.
Speaker 1: It's like similar to the fluid that mixes with sperm. Yep,
Speaker 1: It's just it's watery and like if you taste it,
Speaker 1: it's kind of sweet. It doesn't have a smell. It's warm,
Speaker 1: of course, Um can droplets of P being that? Yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: it's coming from the urethra, you know what I mean. Um,
Speaker 1: But if a woman doesn't squirt it out, then it
Speaker 1: just goes back into the bladder and then you pee
Speaker 1: it out when you go and use the bathroom after
Speaker 1: you have sex. So I guess basically what you did
Speaker 1: just say for for our listeners, there is a difference
Speaker 1: between making a girl squirt and making a girl piss
Speaker 1: And because guess what, the bladder is right there next
Speaker 1: to all the other organs that are being stimulated when
Speaker 1: you're having sex. So if she has not um used
Speaker 1: the bathroom before sex, if you're going harder, you're in
Speaker 1: a certain position, you can be hitting the bladder to
Speaker 1: where she feels like, oh my god, I gotta pete,
Speaker 1: and she may just pete and that can happen. But listen,
Speaker 1: so like the squirting on demand that people are seeing, right,
Speaker 1: because squirting on demand from porn that that's bullshit, that's bullshit.
Speaker 1: And can you squirt when the A spot is stimulated?
Speaker 1: Only the Yeah, you can square when the A spot
Speaker 1: is stimulated, And like more women are going up, more
Speaker 1: women I think squirt from like clatoral simulations then penetration.
Speaker 1: But the time I've definitely squired it from penetration and
Speaker 1: it was involuntary. I wasn't trying to do it. It
Speaker 1: just happened, you know what I mean. So, but there
Speaker 1: are women out there they can squirt on command. When
Speaker 1: you have control over your pelvic muscles, you can do that.
Speaker 1: You know a lot of control. It is it is
Speaker 1: muscles that I can grip helvic muscles. Well it, that's
Speaker 1: the same thing. I mean. Now, can I think another
Speaker 1: question um their listeners may have is can every woman squirt?
Speaker 1: Does every woman have the ability to do it? Sure?
Speaker 1: Like every woman unless you have some type of magmatical condition,
Speaker 1: has the same anatomy. But it's every woman going to
Speaker 1: do it in her lifetime. No, because it takes a
Speaker 1: certain level of knowledge and comfort and stimulation in order
Speaker 1: for it to happen. And when men are like going
Speaker 1: all hard and trying to force it to happen, like,
Speaker 1: that's when it doesn't happen the most because you're chasing
Speaker 1: it away when you create anxiety. Anxiety and stress are
Speaker 1: like two of the top libido killers, so you're like
Speaker 1: pressure on her, Come on, baby squat. For me, it's like,
Speaker 1: I understand you want to be encouraging, but right now
Speaker 1: it's not a happen I was reading something that said,
Speaker 1: um of women have tried to square it for the
Speaker 1: first time. Uh, we're like pressured into it and didn't
Speaker 1: feel like it was natural. And that's almost half of
Speaker 1: every time. It's funny that so many men want to
Speaker 1: feel and make a woman squirt more than I even
Speaker 1: hear women want to see why I'm listening. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a part of it. It's part of the ego because
Speaker 1: men um think about sex very externally. They think about
Speaker 1: sexual response very externally because of house, they respond to
Speaker 1: sexual stimuli, so you know, when they have an orgasm,
Speaker 1: they're used to seeing semen coming out of their penises.
Speaker 1: For us, we are internalized, so when we have orgasms,
Speaker 1: everything's happening within us, but you don't see anything. So
Speaker 1: for them, it's like the ultimate achievement. If I made
Speaker 1: her squirt, I know that I did a good job man,
Speaker 1: And it's like not necessarily, bro, I can still have
Speaker 1: a great time and feel amazing without squirt and apparently
Speaker 1: not her excuse me when I was reading that squirting
Speaker 1: each time, it's not always an orgasm. It's not because sometimes,
Speaker 1: like literally, a squirt will happen without you even having
Speaker 1: an orgasm. It's just it's being stimulated, it wants to
Speaker 1: come out. You let it flow, you know. Sometimes in
Speaker 1: the company's an orgasm. Sometimes it doesn't. So just because
Speaker 1: you make her squirt does not mean you're doing a
Speaker 1: good job at being a lover. You know, just her
Speaker 1: body responding and I know this wasn't part of it.
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like people really had a
Speaker 1: lot of questions. It's like one of the most asked questions,
Speaker 1: and it's so annoying to me because I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: can you learn how to do fourplay first before you
Speaker 1: try to Frustrated, she was like, look like it's real,
Speaker 1: but it's not what you're seeing on TV. Like stop
Speaker 1: this like facade of Like there's definitely, yeah, there's definitely.
Speaker 1: So with looking into UM what you do and even
Speaker 1: reading how you met your husband and reading that story,
Speaker 1: I was just like, she's perfect. So we do a
Speaker 1: lot of talk about couples in relationships. You're kind of
Speaker 1: an expert at that UM and so when I looked
Speaker 1: at UM, something that you practice right now with your
Speaker 1: husband is free love. Before we get into that UM,
Speaker 1: I kind of wanted to go down because I saw
Speaker 1: you list all of these UM types of dating UM titles.
Speaker 1: I guess that you could have the labels, and I know,
Speaker 1: I kind of there's so many, but I actually didn't
Speaker 1: know like three of them. So I want to go
Speaker 1: through with our listeners because UM, we have a lot
Speaker 1: of listeners right now who are trying to find. I
Speaker 1: don't know non binary, triads, quads, solo, poly like. So
Speaker 1: I just saw these quick lists on your right up
Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, well, maybe I can get
Speaker 1: a definition because maybe there's people out here who want
Speaker 1: to certain relationship and don't know how to address it
Speaker 1: or don't know what other partner to look for who
Speaker 1: aligned with this, So let's I guess start with the
Speaker 1: one that is sort of um easy. It's funny because
Speaker 1: me and Weezy just spoke about this. Non monogamous entering
Speaker 1: a non monogamous relationship with someone means what. So non
Speaker 1: monogamous is like basically an umbrella. Non monogamy will basically
Speaker 1: categorize everything else we're seeing here. So it's like the umbrella.
Speaker 1: It means that you are not with just one person,
Speaker 1: whether that be socially meaning living together and all that,
Speaker 1: or sexually meaning solo just with sex with one person. Okay,
Speaker 1: So polyamorous, we've talked about this, Do you want to
Speaker 1: give that one real quick? We don't stay on that one.
Speaker 1: Polyamory is basically having a relationship with other people where
Speaker 1: everyone involved knows what's going on and everyone has to
Speaker 1: consent of everyone involved too for all this stuff to
Speaker 1: go down. And it's not just about sex. It's also
Speaker 1: romantic partners as well. And most of the time people
Speaker 1: have like a primary partner and then everyone else outside
Speaker 1: the primary partner is considered a paramore. A paramore, Okay,
Speaker 1: I've never heard of that one. It's it's a lot,
Speaker 1: it's a lot. It's a lot, And so that's poly
Speaker 1: What does a solo poly? So, solo Polly is a
Speaker 1: person who doesn't have a primary partner and they choose
Speaker 1: not to take on a relationship that takes on the
Speaker 1: form of a traditional relationship. Unicorn, I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: if you want to call it that, the unicorn is polyamorous,
Speaker 1: because unicorn could just be somebody that's guest starring. Really right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: So this person, you know, they hold down multiple romantic
Speaker 1: and sexual relationships without having a primary partner and without
Speaker 1: choosing to be in a relationship that looks like the typical.
Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm dating this one person, you know,
Speaker 1: like a typical So would that be like Milo Darling,
Speaker 1: have you watched but she doesn't when correct me if
Speaker 1: I'm wrong. Most everyone everyone about each other. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: everyone doesn't know about each other, So she skipped a
Speaker 1: little bit. But triads, I guess that's definitely what I had. Then,
Speaker 1: a triad in the quad is basically a polyamorous relationship
Speaker 1: with everybody lives together in the same household. So if
Speaker 1: it's three is try's four as quad and that's under
Speaker 1: the poly. But but in that sense, they're all dating
Speaker 1: each other and can't have outside relationships. They're all one relationship,
Speaker 1: like one big unit, living together, all contributing to each
Speaker 1: other's financial wellness and all that stuff. So but it's like, um,
Speaker 1: there could be a primary partner within that, but they're
Speaker 1: all just together, Okay. And then swingers, Um, we've talked
Speaker 1: to you guys. We we pretty much know what swinging is. Um,
Speaker 1: So you don't practice any of these non binaries. Basically,
Speaker 1: people who are in relationship that do not subscribe to
Speaker 1: gender roles because talking about like a gender being, non
Speaker 1: virus sexuality, yeah okay, not okay, not identifying with gender roles.
Speaker 1: So of all of these labels, you say, throw all
Speaker 1: them ships away. Um, they're okay, there's nothing wrong we're
Speaker 1: practicing any of that. The main focus is are you
Speaker 1: practicing love? Because a lot of people what they do
Speaker 1: who is they get into these relationships, But they're still boundaries,
Speaker 1: are still rules, they're still controlled, they're still jealousy, they're
Speaker 1: still all these things that pop up because they're not
Speaker 1: remembering the love in an end. Also, they don't have
Speaker 1: a real purpose. But why they're even in this type
Speaker 1: of relationship. It's like, okay, so you want to be polyamorous,
Speaker 1: but what is your purpose? Is it just so that
Speaker 1: you can fund other people? And that's it? Because if
Speaker 1: that's if that's it, that's not going to go anywhere.
Speaker 1: You know, having a purpose in your relationship is a
Speaker 1: destination because it's a relationship a ship being a vehicle,
Speaker 1: so it has to carry you somewhere. If you don't
Speaker 1: have a purpose, then why are you even doing it? Right?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Because for the polyamorous person
Speaker 1: who has a binary part of a primary partner and
Speaker 1: then you have all these other people, what is your
Speaker 1: purpose for having all these other people? Is it just
Speaker 1: so you can funk all the people? Because if that's
Speaker 1: the case, why are you even having this title? Like
Speaker 1: and so free love is different these and what it's
Speaker 1: just I call it. I called it free love because
Speaker 1: the Irish person won't understand that love in itself is free.
Speaker 1: Love is freedom, So that for me to be able
Speaker 1: to explain it to people where they understand is to
Speaker 1: call it something, to give it a label, but really
Speaker 1: it has no label. My husband and I love each other,
Speaker 1: and we love everyone in our lives the same. Love
Speaker 1: is freedom, and within that you know he's not. He
Speaker 1: doesn't require for me to change and thing about myself.
Speaker 1: I don't require for him to change anything. And we
Speaker 1: have multiple partners in our lives, and that does not
Speaker 1: mean that all of our partners are sexual partners. His
Speaker 1: mother is a partner, My mother is my partner. His sisters,
Speaker 1: his brothers, his business partners, his friends, these are all partners.
Speaker 1: I got a question coming. So the love that we
Speaker 1: that we practice is just love, and we don't. We
Speaker 1: don't hold any restrictions on each other. I haven't, so cheating,
Speaker 1: So cheating doesn't exist in your relationship. There's no way
Speaker 1: that because he could cheat or you could cheat. The
Speaker 1: only way that we can cheat is if in our
Speaker 1: minds we forget who we are to each other, and
Speaker 1: we forget that we're on the same team. It's not
Speaker 1: about what we do or don't do with our bodies
Speaker 1: because our bodies don't mean anything. We're spiritual beings having
Speaker 1: a human experience. But when people get into relationships, they
Speaker 1: believe they have dominion over the other person's body. Oh
Speaker 1: you're mine now, so you're not allowed to go and
Speaker 1: have sex with someone else. But love says you're free
Speaker 1: to do what you wanna do and don't do what
Speaker 1: you don't want to do. So for me to say, hey, Naim,
Speaker 1: you can't go share your dick with anyone else because
Speaker 1: I own you, that's not love. That's not love, that's
Speaker 1: that's me being in my ego. He's free to do
Speaker 1: whatever he wants to do, and he chooses to be
Speaker 1: with me. Likewise, do I choose to be with him?
Speaker 1: So our definition of cheating is if in my mind,
Speaker 1: I'm like, Naim is a fucked up person like my
Speaker 1: egos telling me bullshit that I know it's not true,
Speaker 1: and then I start believing it and then I start
Speaker 1: attacking him. That's true infidelity when you start forgetting that
Speaker 1: your partner is an innocent party, who who you trust
Speaker 1: and who you love, and then you start attacking them
Speaker 1: because you're believing lies that your ego is telling, right,
Speaker 1: So you're saying cheating has nothing to do have nothing
Speaker 1: to do with what we don't do with our bodies,
Speaker 1: That has everything to do with how we think about it, right,
Speaker 1: Because a lot of people say that you can cheat
Speaker 1: just by texting someone else or being like emotionally involved
Speaker 1: with someone else. So it's funny because but so many
Speaker 1: women to look for their partner to be doing something wrong,
Speaker 1: and so you got to really look at it. What
Speaker 1: are you basing your relationship on? Are you basically get
Speaker 1: on love, which is the content, or are you basically
Speaker 1: get on the form meaning um sex, romance, text messages,
Speaker 1: phone calls, dates, who you talk to, who you interact with. So,
Speaker 1: because if you then if that's not cheating, then what
Speaker 1: is it called? When our average definition of cheating where
Speaker 1: someone's partner ends up sleeping with someone else and they're
Speaker 1: being lied to, then what's that? That's that's people labeling,
Speaker 1: labeling it whatever they want to label it. Because the
Speaker 1: average person in a relationship believes that they're in a
Speaker 1: situation where they have control over someone. So of course,
Speaker 1: if you're in a relationship where you feel like you
Speaker 1: own someone and you have dominion, over whatever they do
Speaker 1: with their bodies. Of course you're going to call that cheating,
Speaker 1: but but we're not. We're not playing games here, Devil's advocate,
Speaker 1: because I feel like everyone that's listening is like this nuts. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's gonna sound crazy. You want to know why are
Speaker 1: because the average person out here doesn't think as well.
Speaker 1: But I do. Relationship. I'm really trying to like stay
Speaker 1: on the same track here. I don't even ship the
Speaker 1: person I'm going to someone else. I think that has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with what we have and you and
Speaker 1: you are thinking the correct way, but I can't tell
Speaker 1: you that. I don't call someone being lied to and
Speaker 1: like sleeping behind someone's back cheating. So like that's where
Speaker 1: I'm confused, because this is something that works for me
Speaker 1: and you, but to someone else that it doesn't work
Speaker 1: for it for two people that are consenting that they
Speaker 1: just want to be the only ones. Then what what
Speaker 1: about monogamous people? Well, for monogamous people, So we are
Speaker 1: we only talking about in terms of people that are
Speaker 1: non monogamous. See, this is the thing. If you are
Speaker 1: a person that wants to be monogamous, and you and
Speaker 1: your partner have an agreement that Oh, we're only going
Speaker 1: to be with each other. That's completely fine. But the
Speaker 1: question is are you subscribing to love or do you
Speaker 1: care more about the form, who you do, what with,
Speaker 1: where you go all that stuff. Because if love is
Speaker 1: the main thing that's holding you together, whether you are
Speaker 1: in a monogamous relationship or not, it should not matter
Speaker 1: what someone else does with someone else because love cannot
Speaker 1: be threatened. There is nothing that can ever be done,
Speaker 1: nothing you can ever do with anyone else that will
Speaker 1: threaten the love that you and your partner have for
Speaker 1: each other. I believe, however, But is it argues ascribing
Speaker 1: to ego if you are going behind your partner's back
Speaker 1: and being sneaky and and doing things. No, of course
Speaker 1: you are, because you're forgetting love in that moment. If
Speaker 1: you love your partner, open communication that that should, that should.
Speaker 1: It's probably more so the communication that if you're lying
Speaker 1: and you're being deceitful, cheating like greed, jealousy, those things
Speaker 1: come from fear right fears of the ego. If you
Speaker 1: love your partner, you know that even if they went
Speaker 1: out there and fucked a thousand digs or sucked a
Speaker 1: thousand pussies, like it's not going to change the love
Speaker 1: that they have for you. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: it's like, in the midst of that, can you still
Speaker 1: see your partner as the loving person that you trust
Speaker 1: even if they decide to go and flex their autonomy
Speaker 1: because whether you guys have this contract or not, they're
Speaker 1: still free. Now that's the whole thing, Like can you
Speaker 1: stay for you? So how does it work in your
Speaker 1: relationship where you just said like I don't own and
Speaker 1: blah blah blah and these things that are true. How
Speaker 1: did you feel when he's with someone else? Do you
Speaker 1: need to know? Are there are any rules that you have? No?
Speaker 1: Why do I need to know about where he's going
Speaker 1: and what he's doing? What with Like I don't, I don't,
Speaker 1: So what do you track his movements? When he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm going out the house, so I'm going out the
Speaker 1: house to help my mother. I'll be back. I don't
Speaker 1: question that. But then as soon as he's going out
Speaker 1: the house to be with somebody else that's not a
Speaker 1: mother or a friend, now I'm supposed to jump down
Speaker 1: his throat and ask him where he's going and what
Speaker 1: he's doing for what? So what commitment is what is
Speaker 1: your commitment to each other? Then, because a lot of
Speaker 1: people feel feel like so you do, so you don't
Speaker 1: need anything else? Is there anything? There's not? So for example,
Speaker 1: like a lot of things that I need personally, And
Speaker 1: maybe it is my ego or in an insecurity, but
Speaker 1: I like, you know you're married. I'd feel like I
Speaker 1: would need someone to know when someone's home with me,
Speaker 1: Like I would want to know if I was going
Speaker 1: to come home and someone wasn't there, that's very important
Speaker 1: to me, or if they make a plan. I feel
Speaker 1: like to me, it's at least consider it. So how
Speaker 1: do you Because you're saying you don't feel like you
Speaker 1: owe any of that, No, I'm not. He does. He
Speaker 1: does not owe me an explanation, But you're the primary partner. No,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm one of his partners and we just happen
Speaker 1: to be married. So you don't use the word primary
Speaker 1: at all. No, because he has many partners in his life,
Speaker 1: even though as a wife, he still don't think primary
Speaker 1: is a good word. Why. I mean, look, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: married to this man because we've chosen to be. But
Speaker 1: just because I have this title of wife now doesn't
Speaker 1: change anything about the love that has anything to change
Speaker 1: about the stuff like we talked about. When we don't
Speaker 1: we don't write. I know you don't have Now does
Speaker 1: that title change or um? Are you open about your
Speaker 1: title with him when you have other partners? Do you
Speaker 1: have other partners as well? Yeah, I just told you
Speaker 1: we like all of our partners are not just sexual
Speaker 1: and he's limited to the sexual partners then, because that's
Speaker 1: where I think a lot of our listeners don't understand.
Speaker 1: People get completely confused because people put more importance on
Speaker 1: sex over love. So and this is where people get
Speaker 1: themselves fucked up in love most of the time, because
Speaker 1: you're placing more emphasis on form, which is sex, which
Speaker 1: in itself doesn't mean anything because sex can be used,
Speaker 1: uh for violence, and sex can also be used to
Speaker 1: heal and to join together. But people use something that
Speaker 1: is completely meaningless in itself to harm themselves in separation,
Speaker 1: separating themselves from the next person simply because oh, you've
Speaker 1: had sex with someone else. Are sexual partners. I don't
Speaker 1: know how many he has. He could have a thousand.
Speaker 1: I don't ask him that because it doesn't matter to me.
Speaker 1: And the same with me, like I have other sexual partners.
Speaker 1: But does he ask me about them? No, so you
Speaker 1: don't even share anything, So like, well, how does it happen?
Speaker 1: I mean, because you you look together, he's your husband.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you talk and that's probably your best friend, right,
Speaker 1: So when does the conversation start to happen? How do
Speaker 1: you learn about each other's other partners? We don't because
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter unless we bring it up. But you
Speaker 1: don't when it only matters if those people are joining
Speaker 1: with us for a purpose. If it's just sex, that's purposeless.
Speaker 1: You're just bumping. But you're saying not even just sexual partners?
Speaker 1: Like when I mean, meet someone knew that's great and
Speaker 1: you start seeing them, Like, at what point do you share?
Speaker 1: Is that too much to share? Like whenever we feel
Speaker 1: like when do we feel like it? Like I don't
Speaker 1: ever press him because he meets so many people on
Speaker 1: the street, and he's an author and he always pushes
Speaker 1: his books, so whenever he meets somebody, the first thing
Speaker 1: he's doing is, hey, I wrote this book about love.
Speaker 1: You know, I'll give you a free copy. Whatever. Well,
Speaker 1: I asked from the standpoint of like, um, so I
Speaker 1: know if you polyamorous couples and I'm not polyamorous. We're
Speaker 1: just not monogamous. But there's times where he'll say to me, like,
Speaker 1: I met this girl and he's excited to tell me
Speaker 1: about it, or like the experience with it. How does
Speaker 1: that work for you? Do you, I mean, do you
Speaker 1: guys do that or do you feel like it's sometimes
Speaker 1: too much or it's not something that's we acquired. So
Speaker 1: if he meets somebody and he's had an experience and
Speaker 1: he wants to share it with me, he does, but
Speaker 1: it's not a requirement for him or for me. Sometimes
Speaker 1: we're out and we both meet people at the same time,
Speaker 1: you know, and then we'll engage with them and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. But it legit is not a requirement for
Speaker 1: advice for people that have been considering this but they're
Speaker 1: worried about peus purpose that that's the whole thing. If
Speaker 1: you do not set a purpose with the person that
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship, why are we together? Where is
Speaker 1: this going? Then all the other stuff that pops up
Speaker 1: from the ego because you believe that you own somebody,
Speaker 1: that stuff is going to destroy it by default. Because
Speaker 1: if you do not set a purpose intentionally for a partnership,
Speaker 1: then your relationship is just going to be running on
Speaker 1: default and eventually all the stuff that we see that
Speaker 1: plague the average person in their relationship is going to
Speaker 1: come in. It's inevitable and it's going to sink your ship.
Speaker 1: Have another question, A lot of people do this when
Speaker 1: they are feeling like they're on the edge and they
Speaker 1: need something else. Do you think that this is something
Speaker 1: that can save a relationship? Um only with purpose? Right
Speaker 1: because listen, because a lot of people do it when
Speaker 1: they're super in love and they feel like they want
Speaker 1: to open their hearts more to other people and whatever
Speaker 1: and have experiences and whatever. But some people feel like
Speaker 1: this is the end, We're going to have to do this.
Speaker 1: That's the wrong people. Yeah, if people go into being open,
Speaker 1: which is really think about it. Naturally, as animals, we
Speaker 1: are not monogamous, and there's two different types of monogamy.
Speaker 1: Is social monogamy and then also a sexual monogamy. But
Speaker 1: just because you choose to be with one person, because
Speaker 1: that's it's really a choice, doesn't mean you're attraction cuts
Speaker 1: off you know, and yours and we all naturally develop relationships,
Speaker 1: right like right now, we have a relationship because we're
Speaker 1: in here talking relating to each other. So you can't
Speaker 1: stop that, which means you can't even stop you can't
Speaker 1: stop thoughts going through your head. Because think about this.
Speaker 1: When you meet somebody, first thing you think, well, I
Speaker 1: funk this person, right thin normal. Even if you subscribe
Speaker 1: to monogamy and you choose that, it's not going to
Speaker 1: turn off that innate quality to want to join with
Speaker 1: other people. That's natural. But again it's all about the purpose.
Speaker 1: Whether you want to be non monogamous, polyamorous, all of
Speaker 1: that set the purpose with every single last person you're
Speaker 1: in a relationship with, so then you know that okay, Like,
Speaker 1: for instance, my partner and I our purpose, we have
Speaker 1: a few different things underneath our purpose. One of them
Speaker 1: is to remember our innocence and to never attack each other.
Speaker 1: Another one is to laugh and play together. Another one
Speaker 1: is to heal with each other so um oh, and
Speaker 1: to always remember who each other is in love. So
Speaker 1: because we have these staples now of our for our purpose,
Speaker 1: whenever we do start feeling that stuff coming up from
Speaker 1: our ego, we go right back to why we were
Speaker 1: together in the first place, and it serves as an
Speaker 1: anchor in our ship to keep us focused no matter
Speaker 1: where some things like that maybe not as um as
Speaker 1: each other or maybe in different ways. But people saying
Speaker 1: that need to have an anchor. That's really good. And
Speaker 1: I think, um, so it's funny speaking of um, I
Speaker 1: guess regular people. We have home mail from one of
Speaker 1: our let's question. Yeah, I feel like it should change
Speaker 1: it always. I feel like it's something people would want
Speaker 1: to know. Because you mentioned his big thing right now,
Speaker 1: fun the home mail. Think we can get to him.
Speaker 1: We got you today. So you said you're his wife,
Speaker 1: and you're and you also said that you're not as
Speaker 1: primary so like and and then discussed how you don't
Speaker 1: really need the labels. Then why get married? Well, I
Speaker 1: mean we just wanted to take the taxes. Well not
Speaker 1: even that what in your mind wanted to display? People
Speaker 1: feel like they don't need it. It serves no purpose. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean in itself it doesn't. But also you gotta
Speaker 1: remember that marriage starts whatever purpose you give it. So
Speaker 1: for us, our purpose and being together is to be
Speaker 1: reflections of each other and reminders to each other of
Speaker 1: who we are in love and in God. So our
Speaker 1: marriage isn't about like joining our money. I mean we
Speaker 1: already did that the moment we met. You know, everything
Speaker 1: became one from the moment we started being together. For us,
Speaker 1: it's like, we know that the world has this perception
Speaker 1: of marriage, right and with us being love advocates and
Speaker 1: love educators were like, we're gonna get married and we're
Speaker 1: gonna use our marriage as an example of what can
Speaker 1: be because people don't believe marriage can be perfect. People
Speaker 1: don't believe that marriage can just be free and open
Speaker 1: without you needing all this other stuff to try to
Speaker 1: define it. Like you do what you wanna do, you
Speaker 1: don't do what you wanna, don't want to do. You
Speaker 1: have a purpose that binds you together and you leave
Speaker 1: it at that, and communication, trust, all that stuff is
Speaker 1: like built into that. But um, we're using our marriage
Speaker 1: as a display of what can be. So it's not
Speaker 1: about whatever whyever anyone else gets married or their purpose.
Speaker 1: We have a very specific intention and purpose for why
Speaker 1: we're doing what we're doing because in the past I
Speaker 1: was likely to be married, like you know, I never
Speaker 1: and he too. Oh tomorrow it will be nine months, yeah,
Speaker 1: and two days married. We have been married going on
Speaker 1: a week on Saturday. Is how quids together? Um? We
Speaker 1: he gave me keys the first time I came to
Speaker 1: New York to stay with him. He's like, you're laying
Speaker 1: down next to somebody, You're sticking. You're dicking somebody. You
Speaker 1: can't give them keys in your place. Don't don't think
Speaker 1: like that, because girl, what do you made me feel bad?
Speaker 1: I don't one of them talking? You know, all right,
Speaker 1: just don't talk, just sticking in. I've been there, so
Speaker 1: I guess, um, we'll get into our home mail. Um,
Speaker 1: and this is one that I picked specifically for you
Speaker 1: because as we're talking about labels, this is kind of
Speaker 1: of things she's in search for and ask for our opinion.
Speaker 1: So it says, Hi, Mandy and wheezy, I'm in the
Speaker 1: situation ship to end all situation ships. The guy that
Speaker 1: I have been seeing. Um, oh, I'm sorry, I just
Speaker 1: slawt it the guy have been seeing. And I gotta
Speaker 1: start proof reading these, y'all gotta start write and write. Um.
Speaker 1: We have been together quote unquote for almost two years.
Speaker 1: He came into my life during an extremely hard time
Speaker 1: in my life and has stuck around with me through
Speaker 1: some very hard family situations. He acts like my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: takes me on dates, sleeps over my house where I
Speaker 1: live with my mother four to five times a week.
Speaker 1: We don't talk to slash other people, and he asked
Speaker 1: me to cut off my ex completely, not I'm followed,
Speaker 1: not I'm follow on social media, but stop sending him
Speaker 1: occasional text because it makes him uncomfortable. He is even
Speaker 1: planning on buying my mom and brother Christmas presents. For
Speaker 1: some reason, he still will not make me his girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Most people try to tell me it's just because he's
Speaker 1: not that into me, but I'm not going alive. I'm
Speaker 1: a bit crazy and I don't really get why he
Speaker 1: would stick around through my psychotic episodes, not to mention
Speaker 1: the crazy ship that has happened with my family and
Speaker 1: the fact that he has cut off all the other
Speaker 1: girls for me and barely goes out and lives his
Speaker 1: single life. Like I said, we stay in four to
Speaker 1: five nights a week at my house, watching Netflix, but
Speaker 1: still not wife me. He told me a few weeks
Speaker 1: ago that he was afraid to tell me his real
Speaker 1: insecurities and hesitations to being in a relationship because he
Speaker 1: was afraid I would look at him differently and not
Speaker 1: want to be with him anymore. I'm afraid of what
Speaker 1: that might mean. I want to hear his real reasons,
Speaker 1: but I'm scared of what he's going to say. I
Speaker 1: also don't want to rock the boat because I'll be honest,
Speaker 1: I'm in love with him and don't want to ruin
Speaker 1: our relationship. I know he has some some hang ups
Speaker 1: from his last relationship, but I just don't get what
Speaker 1: he could be so serious that, after two years and
Speaker 1: countless hurdles we've crossed, he won't consider me his real girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Is it time to try to move on? Or do
Speaker 1: I continue trying to make this happen because I already
Speaker 1: have so much invested sincerely never gonna get wife. I
Speaker 1: wonder if she's happy. So yeah, thank you for even
Speaker 1: saying that, because the real question is here, what are
Speaker 1: you more concerned about? It sounds like the title the
Speaker 1: title or the content meaning the love, because clearly this
Speaker 1: man loves her. If you're doing all these things you're
Speaker 1: doing for her, She's in a situation ship, which is
Speaker 1: a relationship. You know, it's just um, it would be
Speaker 1: considered an open relationship. But what's funny is it seems
Speaker 1: it appears that they've both cut you know, extra people
Speaker 1: out of there. Now it's sounding like they are sexually monogamous. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: but the real question is again, what matters more the
Speaker 1: title or the content? Doesn't matter more that he has
Speaker 1: a label for you? Or does it matter more that
Speaker 1: he's there for you and supports you and spending time
Speaker 1: with you. And also too had this conversation also too, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then once I end up like, oh, you want
Speaker 1: me to be your boyfriend? I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I don't know. But then too, that's the whole point.
Speaker 1: So she's so caught up and being the girlfriend, but
Speaker 1: what is your purpose? Right? Because she's even to the
Speaker 1: point where she's like should I leave him? And it's like,
Speaker 1: you're really going to leave him over just a title.
Speaker 1: It was a video that came out on Twitter or
Speaker 1: Instagram where a girl was talking about why we need
Speaker 1: the title so bad if things don't change, and saying
Speaker 1: that it's this thing of commitment in our minds. And
Speaker 1: you know, the person I'm dating I had wanted that
Speaker 1: so bad and at one point he was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know why, and then he said, fine, do you
Speaker 1: want me to be your boyfriend? And like, is that it?
Speaker 1: And then when I heard it, it was just like
Speaker 1: it sounded crazy because you don't have a real purpose,
Speaker 1: but why you even want to be and and I
Speaker 1: think that um something that in my mind made me
Speaker 1: feel more important, which was ridiculous. Yeah, because there there
Speaker 1: really is no level of importance and love, like love
Speaker 1: just is and everybody is the same, and love treats
Speaker 1: everybody the same. I mean, if you wanted that back,
Speaker 1: why don't you ask him to be your boyfriend? Right?
Speaker 1: Like That's kind of where I think, Yeah, it's funny
Speaker 1: because after we just delve into how deep relationships are
Speaker 1: in free love and what love is, reading this back
Speaker 1: is just like, you just sound crazy right now. You
Speaker 1: sound like I can't because I've been there. She was
Speaker 1: definitely there, like and you know, and my friends would say, well,
Speaker 1: he's never gonna do it, and Mandy would say he's
Speaker 1: never gonna meet and Mandy got to fight about it,
Speaker 1: and I it took me time to realize and stopped
Speaker 1: listening to other people for what they know men to do,
Speaker 1: to just think like, but it was even me telling
Speaker 1: you that serious that he's not giving you that title.
Speaker 1: And I would yell at her because it would be like,
Speaker 1: you just want him to tell you you're you're with him,
Speaker 1: you're sleeping with him, y'all are open your communications wanting
Speaker 1: to go be with him? Why are you so strong
Speaker 1: on this title of boyfriend? And we literally talk to
Speaker 1: think it's just a societal norm. It is just one
Speaker 1: of the days. There were times that I didn't know
Speaker 1: what to call him, and then once the mom meeting happened,
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, what do you know? My boy
Speaker 1: were not don't know when it was just like my
Speaker 1: mama had to tell me to get out my head. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: when when it's funny. I always mentioned this to my therapist.
Speaker 1: He says, one of the things that you feel like
Speaker 1: you're in and go with And that was one of
Speaker 1: the things I mentioned to him, and he's like, why
Speaker 1: why do you care? And it's a purpose And I
Speaker 1: think that a lot of women will say that if
Speaker 1: a man won't call you this, and a lot of people,
Speaker 1: a lot of men will say this to their girl
Speaker 1: friends or whatever and say, if he won't make you
Speaker 1: a girl, he doesn't give a funk, or he just
Speaker 1: wants to be single and be open, and this man
Speaker 1: is free to do what he wants to do. And
Speaker 1: guess what even if it was you want to know
Speaker 1: the beauty and that and having the power of decision.
Speaker 1: When he does decide and choose to be with you,
Speaker 1: that's a gift because guess what, he can be with
Speaker 1: anybody he wants to be with at any given time.
Speaker 1: But if he's choosing to spend time with you, that
Speaker 1: means that he actually wants to be there. Right you know,
Speaker 1: your presence is a gift in anybody's life. Your presence
Speaker 1: is a gift in anyone's life, and that's how you
Speaker 1: have to look at it. This is why people start
Speaker 1: taking each other for granted, because you assume that they
Speaker 1: are entitled to be there. Simply because you have these
Speaker 1: romantic feelings towards each other, or because you're fucking each other,
Speaker 1: or because you get text messages every day and spend
Speaker 1: time with each other and eat together every day, you
Speaker 1: assume that this is an obligation now, all because you
Speaker 1: have this contract through sex or monogamy, whatever. But in reality,
Speaker 1: we all have power of decision at any time. You
Speaker 1: don't want to be with who you're with or with
Speaker 1: who you're with, you can just leave block at any
Speaker 1: time right now. But because you because you consciously choose
Speaker 1: to show up and be present with that person. It
Speaker 1: is a gift. And when you can think of it
Speaker 1: like that, you will stop taking the people in your
Speaker 1: life for granted. And also like raise up your own
Speaker 1: self esteem and realizing like, oh wait, sh it, I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna be here, especially when it is happening that
Speaker 1: doesn't make you feel comfortable in this situation with this guy.
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like he's done anything or say anything
Speaker 1: too hard to make her feel like, um, not loved.
Speaker 1: It seems like he's a very loving guys there with you.
Speaker 1: It is probably friends. Even it might be her friends
Speaker 1: nagging her like so you just gonna have this nigga
Speaker 1: all up in your house for five times a week
Speaker 1: and Joe, man, it's probably it could be that. And
Speaker 1: I think a lot of our listeners need to realize
Speaker 1: that they don't even This image doesn't need to be
Speaker 1: created for everyone outside your relationship and who you deal with,
Speaker 1: because girl, everyone keep asking me about seven. I like
Speaker 1: our relationship and what it is. I don't need him
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend. And we talked even for like an
Speaker 1: hour last night, like before I wrote a dick, and
Speaker 1: it was just like the first time of three. It
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna happen often. Um, but we even we openly
Speaker 1: talked about it, and he was like, he called me
Speaker 1: a rare breed, and I was like, I know because
Speaker 1: he's like just certain other relationships that he's had. And
Speaker 1: that's exactly when you're when you're open like that and
Speaker 1: you're honest, right and you give him that freedom, yeah,
Speaker 1: you will find that he's around more. Why I cut
Speaker 1: around for four years exactly? You want to know why,
Speaker 1: because you're not doing the clink clink ship that every person.
Speaker 1: And we openly talked about that, and he was like,
Speaker 1: we just had a brief conversation about it. But I
Speaker 1: was like, and he started saying everything I was telling
Speaker 1: my friends, and I was like, Nick, you've seen everything
Speaker 1: I've been trying to tell my friends because they're all
Speaker 1: asking me why I'm not trying to make you my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I like what we have like and
Speaker 1: you've been around. You're there when I need you for
Speaker 1: what I need you for, and we have fun. We
Speaker 1: enjoy each other's company, and that's it. That's what I
Speaker 1: want you guys should like today and tomorrow or whatever,
Speaker 1: just at of purpose, the purpose could be to have
Speaker 1: fun and play together, eyes out of each other, boom,
Speaker 1: and then you know, there you go. You got you
Speaker 1: got something that's rooting you in the relationship with him.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, people put way too much emphasis
Speaker 1: on the titles. One of the things people are doing
Speaker 1: the time spending all that time that someone's got a
Speaker 1: husband out there with a beautiful house and kids in
Speaker 1: their miserable Yeah. Absolutely, married, Mary's just not marriage. Just not.
Speaker 1: Do you feel different in the last two days? Are we?
Speaker 1: The only thing that I feel different about is just
Speaker 1: my commitment. You always remember who he is. You know
Speaker 1: what she's gonna feel that a difference. Tax time is
Speaker 1: coming up. You got to see the difference. Well, see,
Speaker 1: you know, I kind of know what happens with taxes,
Speaker 1: and that's gonna be we both owned, you know, businesses
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. So he said, we'll cross that bridge.
Speaker 1: Because he even told me, he said, you can put
Speaker 1: whatever you want on your taxes, married or single, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. I'm like, okay, well, well that kind of
Speaker 1: has coming to grants because you can't put he puts married.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know all that stuff. I was like,
Speaker 1: I got a c p a for that ship and
Speaker 1: then I let him lead. It's like, that's that's what
Speaker 1: I'm about to be girl. All right. Yeah, so our
Speaker 1: other guys is here, but I'm gonna go ahead and
Speaker 1: ask you this last question because I wanted to ask you,
Speaker 1: and it's a little bit off um relationships, but it's
Speaker 1: something that I know you're good at. This is what
Speaker 1: the your bitch sex work. Um. My question is about
Speaker 1: the spark in a relationship, so not the actual relationship. Um.
Speaker 1: When I first got with my wife, we talked about
Speaker 1: doing all kinds of freaky things, and over the course
Speaker 1: of the years, she's become a prude, no moral no
Speaker 1: watching porn, no masturbation. We have sex once a month,
Speaker 1: and I feel like it's me who is to blame.
Speaker 1: We've had issues with infidelity on both ends, hers and mine,
Speaker 1: and we even attempted having an open relationship, but it
Speaker 1: was only to her benefit. So my question is how
Speaker 1: do I get my freak back that I once had?
Speaker 1: By the way, I love y'all and wish I could
Speaker 1: have a show as amazing as y'all's. Well, thank you, um,
Speaker 1: and I actually said we're gonna say this was Taomi,
Speaker 1: So well they got to start over. And starting over,
Speaker 1: you gotta remember first of all that each both of
Speaker 1: you are innocent. You know, she went out did what
Speaker 1: she wanted to do because she wanted to do that,
Speaker 1: and it had nothing to do with her not loving him,
Speaker 1: but everything to do with whatever was going on in
Speaker 1: her head and she chose to do same thing with him. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: but now they literally have to go back to square
Speaker 1: one because guess what, this woman is not the same
Speaker 1: woman that you met first. And okay, you're saying that
Speaker 1: it be infidelity, whatever, have a conversation. How about have
Speaker 1: an honest hearts or heard conversation about what's going on,
Speaker 1: because there is nothing that anyone can do to you
Speaker 1: or say that it's going to make you react or
Speaker 1: respond a certain way. It's how you perceive what that
Speaker 1: person has said or done, unless start physically attacking you.
Speaker 1: There is nothing that anyone can do to harm you,
Speaker 1: not what they do with someone else's body or not whatever.
Speaker 1: So really it's in her. She's in her own head
Speaker 1: and whatever she's going through right now, she has to
Speaker 1: overcome that. Yeah, this is a guy wanting his wife
Speaker 1: to to open back up. So is there anything I
Speaker 1: know you deal with couples. Um, what would you tell
Speaker 1: a mail that is something maybe he could do maybe
Speaker 1: aside from communication or I mean talk that they need
Speaker 1: to that they need to buy my husband's book Love
Speaker 1: Is Not a Game and they need to read that
Speaker 1: together and they need to go back Yeah, they need
Speaker 1: to go back in and really re established the purpose
Speaker 1: for why they're together. What can someone This sounds so
Speaker 1: terrible the way I'm wordering it, but like what can
Speaker 1: someone pay you for like life coaching type of things?
Speaker 1: Like It's so when I work with couples, it really
Speaker 1: is like it's basically talk based coaching and then sometimes it's, uh,
Speaker 1: it can involve touch and stuff. It just depends on
Speaker 1: what we're working on. Like if a couple wants to
Speaker 1: learn different sex positions and stuff, then of course touching
Speaker 1: will be involved. But I don't have sex with clients
Speaker 1: like that, That's not what I do. Um, but everything
Speaker 1: is the things that you've said, a lot of people
Speaker 1: want to reach out to you. So that's why they
Speaker 1: can totally reach out to me. You just just got
Speaker 1: to know that I don't have sex with clients, and yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah we're not We're not Yoming is not coming over
Speaker 1: and giving you a ride session. I'll give you a
Speaker 1: ride session by teaching you the moves and then you
Speaker 1: can do it. If you want to have sex in
Speaker 1: front of me, you can do that as well. But
Speaker 1: I'm not think that's what King Nora does. He helps
Speaker 1: and gets couples right before they're about to have sex.
Speaker 1: That's what he said he does as well. I mean,
Speaker 1: but he's also a point star. I mean, you can't
Speaker 1: not be a port. So can you do something like
Speaker 1: almost like therapy, like talking, like counseling type of things
Speaker 1: like that? Do we not? Him and I together We
Speaker 1: coach couples and I coach couple solo as well, And
Speaker 1: it's mainly talk based, just like any other form of therapy,
Speaker 1: but it's really focused on sexuality. But what it was
Speaker 1: interesting is that it always turns out to be more
Speaker 1: than that. It's not even this about the sex. It's
Speaker 1: like your health. You know, people's health has a lot
Speaker 1: to do with where they are sexually and how they
Speaker 1: feel their libido. It's uh, environmental factors, sociological factors, it's
Speaker 1: all this stuff that incompass. When she said that the
Speaker 1: girl that wrote in about us bothering her. We'll give
Speaker 1: that read later. Okay, we don't have to read it whole. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you so much for coming out. I feel
Speaker 1: like we'll be like bright and again we need you
Speaker 1: were late. I was like, oh my god, we're gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hating her and now you're like, oh, we
Speaker 1: got to bring her back on and f I was like,
Speaker 1: I was just like, it's okay, CP. Time it happens.
Speaker 1: It really asking you questions together. If we can do that,
Speaker 1: He goes in, Yeah, if we can get both here,
Speaker 1: it'll show strength within a relationship like I've been in
Speaker 1: a nominalis relationship with well I used the word tryad
Speaker 1: but we didn't live together anything. But I think that
Speaker 1: people always think this thing is one sided, like one person.
Speaker 1: So I would love to. Yeah, we'll have to set
Speaker 1: it up again, maybe to get him in here, and
Speaker 1: especially just hearing from a man how he would allow
Speaker 1: you to have other partners. We do have a lot
Speaker 1: of male listeners, and so to hear that, you know,
Speaker 1: let's go. Um. So, anyways, where can our listeners find you?
Speaker 1: I mean half of them already know who you is,
Speaker 1: because that's how we found. I love your family, But
Speaker 1: where can they find you? On Twitter? Instagram? Um, your website? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so my website is expert Tyomi dot com. The teas
Speaker 1: are separate, they don't share a tea. Um, you can
Speaker 1: find me on Twitter, Glamazon, Tyomi, Instagram, the Glamazon Tyomi.
Speaker 1: I have catfish pages, so make sure you put the front.
Speaker 1: You know you're big when you got catfish pages. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: Snapchack Glamazon Tyomi. If you want to see more like
Speaker 1: risk stuff can go in Yes, yes, Gamaz, glamor Rai, Glemazon,
Speaker 1: Tyomi dot tumbler dot com and you can easually just
Speaker 1: put Glemazon, tyomie and Google. We can found all this,
Speaker 1: all of this ship pop up. I'm telling you, I
Speaker 1: did my research. I was like, damn, she got YouTube
Speaker 1: videos like it's all on there. Um go check out
Speaker 1: the writing video on YouTube. It's pretty dot com slag
Speaker 1: glamor Rotica one o one. There you go. Um and again,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for you've been You You got
Speaker 1: me feeling like where had my ineen? I wanted a relationship.
Speaker 1: Now I gotta think of how I wanted. We're not
Speaker 1: not buying, like what is my purpose. You know, that's
Speaker 1: something that to find have on one to where I'm like,
Speaker 1: did we just quit our own show? No? Good, like
Speaker 1: he didn't the toys like, oh yeah, girl, if you
Speaker 1: know stuff about if you know stuff about toys, maybe
Speaker 1: we could do one with you as well. Yeah I didn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got you. I got you. Girls that we haven't
Speaker 1: tested this yet. It just came mind you and people
Speaker 1: to talk about. Not yeah if they sent them for
Speaker 1: us to yeah, um shoving our proceeds, So I guess again.
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming on. Guys, reach out to her.
Speaker 1: We're gonna put all of her information in the description
Speaker 1: of this bio, and you could also find all of
Speaker 1: her information when we post her on the Horrible Decisions
Speaker 1: page that is at Horrible Underscore Decisions. You can follow
Speaker 1: me at full Court Pumps. You can follow this hole
Speaker 1: at we can see what the funk she's just not
Speaker 1: gonna say because she hates me. Thank you, guys. This
Speaker 1: has been yet another episode of Horrible Decisions. Bye bye,