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Speaker 1: Hi Mandie, Hi Eazy, Oh my god, I am such

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Speaker 1: a huge fan of you, ladies. I know I missed

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Speaker 1: the deadline, but I just wanted to call and tell

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Speaker 1: you guys so awesome you are. Mandy, you are out

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Speaker 1: here repetent for the thick girls like myself, and you

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Speaker 1: have given me so much confidence. And I just love

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Speaker 1: you so much, um, both of you readies for teaching

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Speaker 1: me a lot about myself and how to embrace my

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Speaker 1: sexuality and not be ashamed of a lot of what

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Speaker 1: society UM puts out there for women. And you guys

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Speaker 1: make my days so much better and I appreciate and

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Speaker 1: Mandy again, I love you so much, girl. I gotta

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Speaker 1: get my blue check game up like you. I got

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Speaker 1: one so far. I'm trying to wrack them up in

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Speaker 1: twenty eighteen. But I love you Dye so much. To

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Speaker 1: keep doing what you do. I learned so much from

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Speaker 1: you guys, and keep it going. I love you. I

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Speaker 1: would say my name, but I don't want anybody who

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Speaker 1: like him but kissings think it luckily, just love you

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Speaker 1: a game by Oh wait, I do I've heard something? Mother?

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Speaker 1: How do you not know? Can you let it keep playing?

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Speaker 1: For you? Don't need to keep playing. Anybody knows this.

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Speaker 1: The fucking video guy knows this. Who is this? You

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Speaker 1: know what? I don't know what whole you've been? Who

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Speaker 1: is that? I've heard it, I've heard the little do

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Speaker 1: you are you gonna act like you've never done a

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Speaker 1: podcast before? Who's the bike? Up? God? Damn, you still

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Speaker 1: don't know this? You know what? Mandy? This is? Who's

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Speaker 1: the one that white? Guys? Is it you? Because what

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Speaker 1: the fun is going on? I'm really confused? Who is that?

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Speaker 1: It's any r D. It's parrelling me on It's called lemon.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's where I saw her performing and I got

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Speaker 1: shaded so hard ten minutes ago for noting and loving

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Speaker 1: hip hop ship Please, this is brand new, probably just

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Speaker 1: came out. I don't listen to the radio. I listened

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Speaker 1: to what I download. It's just something I haven't downloaded.

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Speaker 1: I mean, what do you want me to do? Anyways? Guys, Um,

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Speaker 1: welcome to fucking fuck the bullshit. This is my first

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Speaker 1: time seeing Wheezy in No, it's not. I'm right, I

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Speaker 1: definitely just saw you last week. Kind of up. Um,

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Speaker 1: welcome guys to yet another episode of horrible Decisions. I'm

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Speaker 1: your girl Mandy B and I'm Weezy, And today we

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Speaker 1: are starting off the new year with yet another guest

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Speaker 1: who's late. But listen, y'all, if y'all can give me

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Speaker 1: the time to give guests to not be in CP time.

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Speaker 1: Since I know a lot of y'all is black, let's

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Speaker 1: have the discussion real quick. How early do I need

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Speaker 1: to tell black people to show up to show up

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Speaker 1: on time? I feel like I always like for me,

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Speaker 1: it's always fifteen minutes, which is why always have a

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Speaker 1: fifteen minute like, so we recorded right now at six pm.

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Speaker 1: I say, girls, can you shot show up by five

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Speaker 1: forty five? She's about saying she's gonna arrive at six fifteen,

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Speaker 1: which that makes me your thirty minute. And then I'm

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Speaker 1: sure I'm gonna like her. I'm not. I'm positively gonna

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Speaker 1: like her. You're just a bit. But I hate how

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Speaker 1: people are just not considerative. Other people are the latest

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Speaker 1: guests we've ever had. It was funny, people like I

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Speaker 1: wish you did longer episodes. No, he just know then

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Speaker 1: they just showed up thirty minutes late. No, mart Marcus

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Speaker 1: also showed up late from hip hop We you don't

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Speaker 1: remember because we just started recording and we ended up

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Speaker 1: paying for extra STUDIOSI um, this is really frustrating. Foreen, guys,

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Speaker 1: I need all of my black people to come together

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Speaker 1: and show up on time. I have something to talk

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Speaker 1: about this random Yeah. I couldn't sleep last night, so

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Speaker 1: I went on Lipstick Ali to see what ship people

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Speaker 1: talk about. They think, let me just keep going to

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Speaker 1: that trash it's trash sight. But I'm gonna tell you

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Speaker 1: one thing. The people they keep listening to us, so

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Speaker 1: it's clearly people that some of them comes, they're miserable,

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Speaker 1: they probably really hate my guts and are just trying

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Speaker 1: to think. But some of them are patrons, so they

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Speaker 1: do listen to the show. This is where they spilled tea,

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Speaker 1: like whatever, they really think we're not going to have that.

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Speaker 1: They they're like they hate each other. They were like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, you're starting to notice how much they

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Speaker 1: don't like each other blah blah, And I'm like, nothing

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Speaker 1: has changed. We hated each other the same from the

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Speaker 1: very first show. So I don't really know why they

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Speaker 1: think it's getting work. Why you keep reading it? Because

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Speaker 1: that's okay. People that love us follow us on Instagram

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Speaker 1: and write us a lot unless they're anonymous emails. I

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Speaker 1: don't feel like I really get that much honest feedback

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Speaker 1: unless it's from my friends. My friends keep they're like,

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Speaker 1: y'all were wrong, y'all did this wrong. You should have

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Speaker 1: researched this more about HIV and blah blah blah, which

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Speaker 1: I understand. But other than that, besides the ship talking stuff,

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Speaker 1: these are people that are honest. Because they're anonymous. It

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Speaker 1: might be trolling, but they're trolling is fun, but listen,

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Speaker 1: it's sucking honest. So I don't know why they say

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Speaker 1: we argue too much now and I'm just like, I

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Speaker 1: feel like we've always hated each other as much. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: um they oh, oh my god, they know where I

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Speaker 1: work now, Like it's crazy, dude. No, They've all like

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Speaker 1: they're all, Mandy do this, how's manny doing finance and

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Speaker 1: and and being a who at the same time, she's

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Speaker 1: got to pick one. I don't. I don't understand why

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Speaker 1: I can't suck dick and have a job. Like it's

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Speaker 1: really confusing me. But but yeah, they're all guessing who

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Speaker 1: the funk we're fucking she's They're trying to guess who

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Speaker 1: loverboy is they're trying to get pretty close. Um, it's

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Speaker 1: just fucking annoying at this point, so I don't go

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Speaker 1: on there. Not only that they think that we're confused

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Speaker 1: as too because we're traditional. They were talking about us

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Speaker 1: wanting to cook for our man and do stuff for

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Speaker 1: our man. In the b K Chat episode they dragged

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Speaker 1: for filth, how we talked to mean Okay, now, when

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Speaker 1: I look back at it, I blamed it on you.

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Speaker 1: Remember when we left to everything, But when I listened

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Speaker 1: to it, we were both pretty You need to really

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Speaker 1: re listen to stuff because then you'll start hearing a

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Speaker 1: lot of bullshit. The show asked us. I, Um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they were like saying, which is easy to think of

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Speaker 1: Nandy after the married thing, and blah blah blah, and um,

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Speaker 1: I guess like someone had also brought up how when

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Speaker 1: we discussed you calling me promiscuous and which I'll stand

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Speaker 1: by every motherfucking things. So now and like, okay, that

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Speaker 1: was a episode that was a while ago. But one thing,

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Speaker 1: and mind you, this is just us filling time and

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Speaker 1: for our latest latest guess I do want to say

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Speaker 1: it wasn't necessarily that I think in the moment it

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Speaker 1: bothered me because it felt like such a label and

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Speaker 1: like I've been telling you recently, like I hate this whole,

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Speaker 1: like you're this and this and that, like I've been

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Speaker 1: called a hoe fully clothed or before someone knew me,

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Speaker 1: or just because I won't talk to guys, like fuck

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Speaker 1: you ho. It's like it's just you so much. And

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Speaker 1: then I think, like the word promiscuous is also labeled

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Speaker 1: as a bad thing. Well, promiscus to me, like I

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Speaker 1: was up as an adjective and not necessary a label,

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Speaker 1: and as an adjective as defined by Wikipedia, it's stuck

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Speaker 1: and like, but if you're skinny, you're skinny. There's a

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Speaker 1: definition for skinny. Still if you light skinned, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't really care if people think I'm promiscuious or not.

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Speaker 1: Some people, in their minds, promiscuous is going to be

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Speaker 1: the word they use. Um. But see what you just said,

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Speaker 1: that's growth and you don't know it. But just said

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Speaker 1: I don't care if people see me as promiscuous. That

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Speaker 1: is motherfucking growth, Because how would I care? I didn't

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Speaker 1: care because where we started, when we started, we started

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Speaker 1: this show, when who said let's call it horrible? But

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Speaker 1: when we started this show. We talked about this off air.

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Speaker 1: You were caring about how people were I'm not anything.

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Speaker 1: This is I'm trying to be your therapist here. I'm black.

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Speaker 1: I have black therapist. Well I'm happy and we're gonna

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Speaker 1: do this right now. And I feel like you literally

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Speaker 1: just showed a little bit of growth, which I'm proud

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Speaker 1: of you. I mean, that's my good thing to say.

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Speaker 1: I think I can't like it was a different like

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Speaker 1: I always said I didn't care, but now I'm like

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Speaker 1: really starting not to give a book, Like I can

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Speaker 1: read terrible things about myself Now I'm like, oh, and

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Speaker 1: maybe that's because I smoke more marijuana or whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: But speaking of that, my therapist is like really trying

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Speaker 1: to get me some weed. And I just really appreciate

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Speaker 1: him for that. Um And it's funny because like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I guess you can't find this. He know

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Speaker 1: his name of my podcast. But I was telling you

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Speaker 1: how I'm like trying to trick him into giving me

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Speaker 1: the next How do you Why are you tricking? It's

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Speaker 1: so simple, like I'm already stressed out and ship and

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Speaker 1: so terrible. By the way, I just look up the

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Speaker 1: symptoms exactly, and I'm just like, I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: I'm just feeling really anxious, particularly in the workplace, and

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's affecting my well being. You're terrible.

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Speaker 1: What do you think I could do for that? And

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Speaker 1: then look at me and be like, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe we should try something like an

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Speaker 1: edge of the past. Maybe I'm like, really think, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I should do like drawing. You know,

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Speaker 1: what the funk all of these things do? I got

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Speaker 1: prescribed coding and you were like, just lose it on

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Speaker 1: the train. They'll give you another prescription. I'm like, no, bit,

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Speaker 1: you're not taking my coding. Well, I'm saying, if you

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Speaker 1: say you lost it like right after you got it,

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Speaker 1: they'll probably give you another one. Yeah, you're pretty trashed

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Speaker 1: for that. So I guess I wanted UM because we

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Speaker 1: talked about this, I want to say, on the Lisa

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Speaker 1: sliftson episode and UM or maybe before that. So we

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Speaker 1: talked about, of course UM writing Dick, and that was

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Speaker 1: so weird that you were like, I never well, it's

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Speaker 1: not that I've never wrote Dick, but I'm you know,

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Speaker 1: a bitch. I'm on the big side. So writing Dick

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Speaker 1: for me is a lot of motherfucking work. I think

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Speaker 1: it's a lot of work for anybody. I worked out

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Speaker 1: five days a week and I still feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: going to pass out, That's what I'm saying. And so

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Speaker 1: I am just not a fan of writing Dick. I

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Speaker 1: think it's a calvs thing. I'm trying to think what

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Speaker 1: part of me hurts while writing Dick. But anyway, we'll listen,

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Speaker 1: and you got a lot and these guys for real.

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Speaker 1: So anyways, last night I was late. You know that

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Speaker 1: Naga and um I had probably one of the best

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Speaker 1: orgasmic experiences. I don't know if it was because I

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Speaker 1: was on coding or if that was definitely, but the

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Speaker 1: dick was so so I was writing him. He was

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Speaker 1: sitting down in the sitting down position and I was

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Speaker 1: sitting on him facing the opposite way and going up

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Speaker 1: and down, and I like almost couldn't stand up. He

201
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Speaker 1: was almost laughing at me because I came multiple times

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Speaker 1: like that, and I was like, Nigga, you know, I

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Speaker 1: don't be writing your dick. This is good. And I

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Speaker 1: had to tell him. I was like, don't get comfortable.

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Speaker 1: This ain't gonna happen. But he was like, man, you

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Speaker 1: could barely stand up, like it just kept I just

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Speaker 1: kept shaking and it was fucking well. For one, amazing

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Speaker 1: if you had your medicine that was prescribed. I just

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Speaker 1: want to say that. It was sounding like I know

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Speaker 1: they know I'm the crazy one, but yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: you were on that, so you're already like super relaxed

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Speaker 1: and everything feels you fork. So that's probably why you

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Speaker 1: came super hard. But second, this is exactly why BIT

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Speaker 1: just like to ride because you feel it on your

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Speaker 1: It was so good, and mind you. I told him

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Speaker 1: before um, because you know, I just had surgery. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna talk about that. But I was like, you gotta be,

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Speaker 1: you know, gentle, because he'd be sucking me like we

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Speaker 1: like poor star set Like you gotta be gentle. So

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Speaker 1: we started with the writing thing and I was just

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Speaker 1: like feeling I actually felt the orgasms in my stomach.

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Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, well, maybe I need to turn

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Speaker 1: around because this might not be a good thing that

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling this. It was just a look I'm left

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Speaker 1: her right now, bitch, I'm really going back thinking like

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Speaker 1: if I show you hold on, I want to show you.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm gonna show me this. If I show

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Speaker 1: you this text, No, this text message after this is

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Speaker 1: how you know what's good? I said, I said it

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Speaker 1: wouldn't stop. Oh my god. Let me just first start

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Speaker 1: by saying, there is a gift I don't know. It

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Speaker 1: looks like a busted pipe and there's just like water

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Speaker 1: like spewing out of it. And she put liked with

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Speaker 1: four ease like that, daddy, don't I don't have a

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Speaker 1: good studio session. Then she sends the game and put

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Speaker 1: it wouldn't stop upside don't smiley face, definitely need one

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Speaker 1: more where you jet set? Then when he said, laughing

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Speaker 1: my ass off twelve hours later, because well, she sends

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Speaker 1: Jack Conan O'Brien jumping up and down, happy Hi, And

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Speaker 1: look we was talking about riding dick and you're the

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Speaker 1: perfect person to be walking in But that all right?

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Speaker 1: Guess is here? Guys, she's wearing we recorded this ship

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Speaker 1: and thigh high boots. So we're gonna set you deep

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Speaker 1: yourself or your husband as well. Okay, so we're gonna

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Speaker 1: sit you over No, let's set you right here. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: sit her over there. I want to look you can

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Speaker 1: look right next to you. Okay, no, now we're gonna

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Speaker 1: put it right here, all right, So we might want

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Speaker 1: to bring him on as well, um, because you know

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Speaker 1: we got some questions. Um, so guys, I guess we

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Speaker 1: can introduce our guests. Who is here? Um? We have

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Speaker 1: Tyomi who every one? Well? Yeah everyone? Um. So it's

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Speaker 1: so crazy because I think between Instagram and Twitter, everyone

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Speaker 1: was just like, why you ain't had it on the show. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is who you need? Bring her on the shot.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, So then we were talking,

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Speaker 1: but it was while you were out of town. It

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Speaker 1: was over the holiday. There were studio dealing with all

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Speaker 1: of this. I'm like, okay, we're gonna We're gonna get

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Speaker 1: you in here. Girl, just hold out. Um, do you

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Speaker 1: live in the right Yeah, I'm like part time between

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Speaker 1: New York and Chicago. So I got married on saturdayation.

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Speaker 1: I saw a picture of you guys. So you guys

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Speaker 1: are so like so it's like a book cover. I know,

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Speaker 1: it's very like time. So like cocoa butter love Shay

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Speaker 1: butter coconut oil. Instance, Yeah, you look like type you

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Speaker 1: have instant when Yeah, what's this like incense? Male name?

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Speaker 1: Actually it's his name night in. Oh, maybe we gotta

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Speaker 1: start sucking two instance with names and maybe they'll come

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Speaker 1: into our life. I do like say, you know, I

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Speaker 1: don't had African dick be small though. Um I'm the

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Speaker 1: ones I've had. African American dick is great, but African

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Speaker 1: African them maybe because if they were paying for it,

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Speaker 1: maybe that's why. Oh you might be right, Well, they're married,

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Speaker 1: that's why they pay it, not because they dick small. Um. Anyways, anyways, guys,

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Speaker 1: we want to go ahead and I guess introduce you.

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Speaker 1: So you're a sexpert, you're a blogger, you're a pleasure

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Speaker 1: like trainer, you do you do so many things, so

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Speaker 1: let our listeners know exactly what you're known for. UM.

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Speaker 1: I am known for sex education. I've been teaching for

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Speaker 1: the last seven years, primarily online. I've toured the world

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Speaker 1: with my classes. UM. I have a YouTube channel where

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Speaker 1: I show people how to get into like different So,

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Speaker 1: like sixteen million views on how to ride? Did we

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Speaker 1: to show like with somebody from the audience. We picked

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Speaker 1: a girl for Mandy to demonstrate on it was not good. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I didn't know you need to agree for that.

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Speaker 1: You don't but you know, it's like just one of

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Speaker 1: those things that's not something that you just know how

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Speaker 1: to do. It's it's takes take practice. You have to

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Speaker 1: be in shape. When I say in the shape, I

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Speaker 1: don't mean like you know, fitness guru in the gym.

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Speaker 1: Like there's a specific set of muscles that are being

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Speaker 1: used when you're on top, so we have to develop them.

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Speaker 1: We just talked about writing real quick, because I don't

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Speaker 1: need to have it in for you to talk about writing,

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Speaker 1: but one of my favorite things I need to know

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Speaker 1: that because I just rode again from you. We were

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Speaker 1: just saying that hurts, like because I always feel like

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if you're in shape or not like that,

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Speaker 1: it's your hip flexus. Your hip flexus, I feel like,

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Speaker 1: get to my legs. I feel like like calves or something.

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Speaker 1: Do I not? Maybe I mean think about that's that

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Speaker 1: machine you go in the gym, but think about it too,

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Speaker 1: Like you don't sit in that position often at all.

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Speaker 1: And we sit down most of the time, so like

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Speaker 1: I feel like I do on my squatty party. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like we we sit down so much like our our

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Speaker 1: hip muscles and our leg muscles get tight and they

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Speaker 1: get weakened like we are. We pretty much lip sedentary lifestyles.

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Speaker 1: So so how do I make like how do you

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Speaker 1: every day? That's it stretching, not like not squats or something,

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Speaker 1: stretch me squats, any type of like leg lifts or kickbacks,

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Speaker 1: any type of lower body exercise will work for it.

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Speaker 1: But I teach a class specifically that targets the muscles

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Speaker 1: that you use during riding, and it kind of like

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Speaker 1: simulates it. It's like a mixture of twerking and like

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Speaker 1: hip rolling, but literally it's you doing it full out

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Speaker 1: for like at least three minutes at a time per song.

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Speaker 1: How many people pass out? Not many. It's it's challenged,

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Speaker 1: especially when I'm kind of lazy, like I could suck

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Speaker 1: a dick and don't get tired as much as Okay,

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Speaker 1: well I didn't work, so I'll just play on my

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Speaker 1: stomach now, just workout, especially when like you know, if

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Speaker 1: you have really wet pussy in and like his size,

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Speaker 1: like he keeps sleeping now a little bit, like you

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Speaker 1: gotta really adjust it. It's I don't think men realize

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Speaker 1: how much be going on through our minds when we're

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Speaker 1: trying to not only please ourselves, but please them, Like,

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Speaker 1: aside from not dying with a dick down my throat,

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Speaker 1: it's like when I'm fine and the city it's not

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Speaker 1: a job for nothing. When I'm finally taking it, it's like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: does this feel good for him? And then apparently there's

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Speaker 1: a grinding thing that a lot of females do when

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Speaker 1: they're on dicks that don't feel good for me about that, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we don't love because the it's supposed to be a stroke,

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Speaker 1: just like how he strokes you, So the vagina is

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Speaker 1: supposed to slide on and off the dick. And if

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Speaker 1: you're just sitting there grinding, if he's deep and you're

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Speaker 1: grinding and there's still some like movement in there, like

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00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,840
Speaker 1: a little swirl, it could feel good. But for the

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00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,440
Speaker 1: most part though, because most women are just sitting there

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Speaker 1: scooting school in their clips on his tail best and

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Speaker 1: he's like person. But I feel like, I mean, we

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Speaker 1: do enough, look and I could, like you could take some.

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Speaker 1: I feel like there's so much pressure put on people

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Speaker 1: in general for what is supposed to be done. But really,

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00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,840
Speaker 1: if you never want to ride dick ever in your life,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to listen for the three years, right,

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00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,560
Speaker 1: exactly three and you can't believe all you do well

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00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 1: God damn, but I mean I haven't asked. That's why

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00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 1: they like to behind me. I was gonna say, when

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Speaker 1: you have asked, don't matter however, being on the skin,

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Speaker 1: your side, my hands, and yeah, you're doing when you

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00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,520
Speaker 1: had when you are a thick girl. Like there are

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00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,680
Speaker 1: things that can substitute for riding on top, because for

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Speaker 1: most guys, if you're thinking you get on top, it's

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Speaker 1: a wrap there. Like I want to have controls and

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00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,080
Speaker 1: then get behind you. But even then, like you can't

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Speaker 1: even really throw it back that much because if you

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Speaker 1: start throwing it back, depending on the guy, he'd be

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Speaker 1: like whoa, whoa too much? Okay, then I'll just can't back. Well,

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Speaker 1: I this was I appreciate that we were riding dick. Um,

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Speaker 1: I guess intro that we just had. We normally start

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Speaker 1: with icebreakers, and I did want to get into these

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Speaker 1: icebreakers because they kind of I picked them because they

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Speaker 1: kind of relate to what you do as well. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so the first one is gonna get into kind of

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Speaker 1: what you do. Um, so it's would you rather be

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Speaker 1: able to speak every language and lose the ability to

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Speaker 1: write or write in every language and lose the ability

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Speaker 1: to speak. And I know you do you speak second, right,

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Speaker 1: So you would rather lose the ability to write. Oh,

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Speaker 1: you would rather write in every language and lose the

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Speaker 1: ability to speak. So you're better with your writing than speaking,

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00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:26,359
Speaker 1: great with both. But like writing is so therapeuty for me,

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Speaker 1: I would just say about to be a mute and

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Speaker 1: just be able to Yeah, I love our love writing.

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Speaker 1: I mean most of my career is writing. Like I

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Speaker 1: run a blog, I write for cashious life. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I mean it's gonna be a lot harder to have

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Speaker 1: a job if you can't write. Then if you could

383
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 1: just yeah, because like literally for the government, most of

384
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Speaker 1: my jobs exactly unless you dictate it. I mean you

385
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 1: can just put on the microphone and then okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: So here's the second one. Would you rather increase your

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Speaker 1: level of sexual romance or your sexual experimentation? Um, sexual sperimentation?

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00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 1: So you would rather increase that because I think we're

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00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,959
Speaker 1: all the things personal though maybe she's already got such

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00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 1: a good romance level, like going on, Yeah, I mean

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00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 1: romance is really what you make it, and everybody gives

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Speaker 1: romance all the meaning it has, Like giving flowers could

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00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,199
Speaker 1: be romantic to some people but not to others, Like

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Speaker 1: some women women might not think that, you know, receiving

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Speaker 1: flowers is romantic. So I would rather experiment with sex

396
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:28,639
Speaker 1: over you know, the whole romantic with you being a

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00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 1: sex educator and helping people through the bedroom, is there

398
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 1: anything left for you to experience a people? There's a

399
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:40,160
Speaker 1: whole They ask us that a lot, a lot, especially

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00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 1: if you go on to B D S, M and kink.

401
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,239
Speaker 1: That's what are your top two things that just came

402
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,400
Speaker 1: in your head with kink of things you haven't tried

403
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 1: that you want to, Um, maybe like sex on a

404
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 1: roller coaster, just that possible though it is possible to

405
00:20:56,080 --> 00:21:00,600
Speaker 1: think about it sexy. Oh you know the whole like

406
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 1: th real seeking thing and my exhibition is too so

407
00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,440
Speaker 1: okay um, and then like I just want to have

408
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 1: a big orgy. I mean I've had one before, but

409
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 1: like how many people were in the one that you've had? Um,

410
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 1: it was like four guys and it was three girls.

411
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 1: But I was kind of just like doing my thing

412
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:18,439
Speaker 1: with one, so I wasn't involved with everybody, So it

413
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 1: was just like everybody having sex at the same time

414
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: in the same place kind of a thing. Was this

415
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 1: a front thing or was this a swinger sex club?

416
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 1: It was like we were in Vegas and no more

417
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 1: we get it. Yeah your vagina Vegas. Yeah. So would

418
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 1: you rather have amazing sex the last forty seven seconds

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00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,560
Speaker 1: or average sex for ten minutes? Both of those are

420
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:52,440
Speaker 1: whacked Well, yeah, amazing for one minute, almost amazing sex

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00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,920
Speaker 1: with me just hitting my A spot repeatedly, So I'll

422
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,640
Speaker 1: take that, and you know that's the kink. We're gonna

423
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 1: get into what the A A spot is and then a

424
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 1: little big guys, would you rather be a set slave

425
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,879
Speaker 1: for a month or we're a chastity device and not

426
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 1: be able to have sex or math device? Because sex

427
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 1: slave that ship could get crazy, Like you know what's crazy.

428
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,119
Speaker 1: I kind of fantasize fetisize that or I don't know

429
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:14,879
Speaker 1: what to say, but that's kind of that's kind of

430
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,199
Speaker 1: one thing I would I would know, I would like

431
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 1: to kind of be a sex slave or like a

432
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:24,119
Speaker 1: weekend because somebody has you literally have no right saying

433
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 1: when I say something, no, no, you have I would

434
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 1: like to be a sex slave, so you have no right,

435
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 1: so like right so just think about it for a second,

436
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,440
Speaker 1: a black guy, because if you are a black guy,

437
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 1: black straight, Okay, are you thinking submission or do you

438
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,200
Speaker 1: know what a sex slave entails. A sex slave entails

439
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,240
Speaker 1: you doing whatever the guy wants sexually, right, So you

440
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 1: got to think about this. You have to ask if

441
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,959
Speaker 1: you want to stand up listen, Oh, that's that, But

442
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,479
Speaker 1: it's beyond that, Like there are some guys who are

443
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,679
Speaker 1: into like pissing on you, shooting on you, beating you

444
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: in the face. You can have hard limits, you know, right,

445
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 1: So if you're a sex slave and you're like, okay, um,

446
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,120
Speaker 1: you're agreeing to it, and you're like, whatever I want

447
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 1: to do, let's limit that to a sex slave with

448
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 1: the niggas, I know they don't even wanted to do,

449
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,919
Speaker 1: no ship more than what I want to do being submissive.

450
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 1: Though that's not really like a sex slave, like people say,

451
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,560
Speaker 1: think of fifty Shades of Grade when she had to

452
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: sign all that stuff, even though it's a very vanilla

453
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: movie to something, that's the best example of what it means.

454
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,120
Speaker 1: You say, sex slave is all bets are off. It's

455
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:33,679
Speaker 1: whatever that person wants you to do unless you do

456
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 1: sign some kind of contract before. But if there's no contract,

457
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 1: it's like you're just submitting to whatever. And when you

458
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 1: when you give them that permission, something switches, like because

459
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 1: once they know you don't have any limits, anything can

460
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: be done. You don't know what the topped the last

461
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: thing you did? I did it for like an hour

462
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:55,400
Speaker 1: and it was too much. Okay, well it's so crazy y'all.

463
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,679
Speaker 1: Still haven't um wean me off of not wanting to

464
00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: be a sex slave. Oh, you can do whatever you want.

465
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, just be ready for whatever, you know,

466
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 1: and i'd be telling this whatever, So it makes sense.

467
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,439
Speaker 1: So the last question is would you rather not be

468
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,920
Speaker 1: able to see during sex or not be able to

469
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: touch during sex? See? Because I get blindfolded anyway? Oh yes,

470
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 1: blind really good? Really, I won't get blindfolded again. I

471
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 1: got blindfolded, took his condom off, surprising me. When he

472
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 1: took before he took the blindfold off, he was like

473
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 1: up here, felt mad at me. That's bad. Yeah, so

474
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 1: we actually talked about that too, But that's why I

475
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 1: was like, I have kind of PTSD now from being held,

476
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,719
Speaker 1: so I don't want the blindfold. I had a very

477
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 1: bad and a very good experience. My worst one was

478
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,639
Speaker 1: our first episode the Missing Condom. This guy like really

479
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 1: tried because he felt like I was just too sexually advanced,

480
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: and he just he blindfolded me right out into the

481
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,360
Speaker 1: shower and he's like, meet me in the bedroom. I'm

482
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: like where that sounds bad already now. The best one

483
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 1: I've ever had was my first time having sex with

484
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 1: someone I had known for months, so I felt comfortable

485
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 1: enough to do this and he, uh, he told me

486
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 1: to stand, I mean, be on my knees, turned away

487
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 1: from my front door, and when he came in, he

488
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 1: blindfolded me, didn't take it off until he was inside

489
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 1: of me. It was like forty five minutes of four plane.

490
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: I was like, when do I get to see you?

491
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: And I was touching his face. It's everything got more intense. Like, yeah,

492
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 1: I've actually wanted to ask well her boyfriend a few times,

493
00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: but I feel like he's gonna be like asking to

494
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 1: do what another niggaid, can't you He listened to the

495
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 1: shows blin him exactly what she wants to do, the

496
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 1: exact same thing that she did. Yeah, he could do

497
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 1: it better. I mean, look, no matter what the sex

498
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 1: act is, it's not like just reserve for one person

499
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 1: because it's like, hey, it was great, but I want

500
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: to do with you. It's not like you never know

501
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 1: if at that point, come on, all right, well, I'm

502
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 1: so glad you brought it up because I don't even

503
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 1: think I told you he was gonna mention this. I

504
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 1: can't remember if I sent you this or not. But

505
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 1: the A spot, So you did a blog on it.

506
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: You talked a lot about this A spot, and all

507
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 1: I know is about the G spot so and the

508
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,400
Speaker 1: P spot that's the prostate one for men um. So

509
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: I want to know what this A spot is. Um,

510
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 1: Can you give us maybe a definition and let our

511
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: listeners know how they can reach this if maybe they

512
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 1: haven't been able to find the G spot and this

513
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 1: is another way for them to reach orgasm. Yeah, the

514
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 1: A spot is actually deeper within the vagina, so yeah,

515
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 1: the G spot is only two inches within the vagina,

516
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 1: right on the front of the wall. Like all right, okay,

517
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 1: we get that, but not everyone is like comfortable with

518
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 1: G spot simulation. I know I'm not, Okay, shout out

519
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 1: to you. I don't like it. So I feel like

520
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 1: it's like I feel like the pulling and then I

521
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 1: think about nails and I'm on the outside here because

522
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 1: I like, I can't heard about it everyone who's different,

523
00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:59,960
Speaker 1: like I just I really just don't like to feel.

524
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 1: But the hay spot though it's deeper, it's on the

525
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: front wall of the vagina as well. It's up near

526
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 1: the cervix and when it's stroke, of course, it's in

527
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: a rogeni zone. So when it's stroke it creates like

528
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:16,919
Speaker 1: these really guscy like waves of orgasms and the vagina

529
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 1: just gets extremely moist, and you probably did, but it's

530
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:24,959
Speaker 1: it's with deep penetration and it gets pretty up there.

531
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 1: It's kind of big, yep, as long as you are

532
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: aiming towards the front of the vagina, so like towards

533
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: the belly button, you'll find it there. And can it

534
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 1: be like now do Morris men that are listening, can

535
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,359
Speaker 1: they do this with their hands or with they can

536
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 1: do it with their hands and their penises, you know,

537
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,920
Speaker 1: so a hand can reach far enough because the vagina

538
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: is only about five and I don't get to your

539
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:50,439
Speaker 1: service of course, right, So you had one he got

540
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 1: right up in the it's probably where it's stock. So yeah,

541
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: I mean it's a spot that people don't really know about,

542
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 1: but they've probably felt it because men can feel it

543
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: to like when they hit it, it feels like kind

544
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: of slippery. Okay, okay, so once they hit that spot,

545
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,919
Speaker 1: you both like simultaneously will go, oh my god, what

546
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 1: is that? You know, because it's just it feels really good,

547
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 1: and as it's repeatedly stroked, it's like the orgasms. They're

548
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,919
Speaker 1: not like super hard legs shaking orgasms, but they feel

549
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 1: like they radiate from your pelvis and just kind of

550
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 1: go throughout your body and you just become waste and

551
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: they just come back to back to back. It's I

552
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 1: have a question that has been brought up a lot.

553
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:34,439
Speaker 1: We had a doctor on the debunked um the squirting. Okay,

554
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: so like can we talk about like the fluid because

555
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: you're mentioning like cushiness and stuff like that, Like how

556
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: is this secretion happening during squirting? What spot is it from?

557
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: And is it mixed with some p in it? Because

558
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 1: a lot of people are nervous about her face. Well

559
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 1: know a lot of people are nervous that they're yeah, yeah,

560
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 1: of course you're nervous that you're gonna pe on somebody

561
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: because it's coming from the same hole that you pee from,

562
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 1: it from your eurethra. But the source of squirting is

563
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 1: not from the bladder. It's from the skins gland, which

564
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: is literally the same as the male prostate. It's just

565
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: shrunken down and it sits right near the opening of

566
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: the urethra. But now when we watch in porn, how

567
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 1: these girls are like shooting out? And I've heard from

568
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: a porn star to be nameless, but she said that

569
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: people that were doing squirting sings for drinking mad water before.

570
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 1: And yeah, you have to like my when when I

571
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 1: when the guy who likes to be piste on, when

572
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 1: he has me squirt, he wants me either drunk or

573
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 1: he'll drink, but you on. So that's what I'm saying, Like,

574
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 1: what we're watching on film is that real? Are these

575
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,479
Speaker 1: girls pein? No, the average woman in porn is peeing,

576
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 1: she's just drinking. So when it really irritates me when

577
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 1: guys are like mad pressed to try to make their

578
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: women squirt, and I'm like, hey, you don't even understand

579
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 1: that what you're seeing in porn is unrealistic because it

580
00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 1: is forced and it is um exaggerate. It The average

581
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 1: woman can squirt anywhere from a few drops to like

582
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 1: maybe a half a pint or more, depending on like

583
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: her body and stuff and also her hydration levels. But

584
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 1: the fluid is not P. Now, can a woman make

585
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: a mistake and it's not not even really mistake, is

586
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:18,320
Speaker 1: just what happens to your body. Can a woman like

587
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 1: P during sex? Yeah, she can. It's called incontinence, you know,

588
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: especially if you're a woman that has had a child

589
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 1: or two and you know your bladder is kind of weak.

590
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 1: But um, squirting legit is just as a clear fluid.

591
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 1: It's like similar to the fluid that mixes with sperm. Yep,

592
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 1: It's just it's watery and like if you taste it,

593
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 1: it's kind of sweet. It doesn't have a smell. It's warm,

594
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: of course, Um can droplets of P being that? Yeah, sure,

595
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: it's coming from the urethra, you know what I mean. Um,

596
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 1: But if a woman doesn't squirt it out, then it

597
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 1: just goes back into the bladder and then you pee

598
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 1: it out when you go and use the bathroom after

599
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 1: you have sex. So I guess basically what you did

600
00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 1: just say for for our listeners, there is a difference

601
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: between making a girl squirt and making a girl piss

602
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 1: And because guess what, the bladder is right there next

603
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: to all the other organs that are being stimulated when

604
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 1: you're having sex. So if she has not um used

605
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 1: the bathroom before sex, if you're going harder, you're in

606
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 1: a certain position, you can be hitting the bladder to

607
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: where she feels like, oh my god, I gotta pete,

608
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: and she may just pete and that can happen. But listen,

609
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 1: so like the squirting on demand that people are seeing, right,

610
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: because squirting on demand from porn that that's bullshit, that's bullshit.

611
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 1: And can you squirt when the A spot is stimulated?

612
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 1: Only the Yeah, you can square when the A spot

613
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 1: is stimulated, And like more women are going up, more

614
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 1: women I think squirt from like clatoral simulations then penetration.

615
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 1: But the time I've definitely squired it from penetration and

616
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 1: it was involuntary. I wasn't trying to do it. It

617
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: just happened, you know what I mean. So, but there

618
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 1: are women out there they can squirt on command. When

619
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 1: you have control over your pelvic muscles, you can do that.

620
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 1: You know a lot of control. It is it is

621
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,959
Speaker 1: muscles that I can grip helvic muscles. Well it, that's

622
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 1: the same thing. I mean. Now, can I think another

623
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 1: question um their listeners may have is can every woman squirt?

624
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 1: Does every woman have the ability to do it? Sure?

625
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,160
Speaker 1: Like every woman unless you have some type of magmatical condition,

626
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 1: has the same anatomy. But it's every woman going to

627
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 1: do it in her lifetime. No, because it takes a

628
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 1: certain level of knowledge and comfort and stimulation in order

629
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 1: for it to happen. And when men are like going

630
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 1: all hard and trying to force it to happen, like,

631
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 1: that's when it doesn't happen the most because you're chasing

632
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: it away when you create anxiety. Anxiety and stress are

633
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 1: like two of the top libido killers, so you're like

634
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: pressure on her, Come on, baby squat. For me, it's like,

635
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 1: I understand you want to be encouraging, but right now

636
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 1: it's not a happen I was reading something that said,

637
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: um of women have tried to square it for the

638
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: first time. Uh, we're like pressured into it and didn't

639
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 1: feel like it was natural. And that's almost half of

640
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,959
Speaker 1: every time. It's funny that so many men want to

641
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 1: feel and make a woman squirt more than I even

642
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 1: hear women want to see why I'm listening. Yeah, it's

643
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:20,719
Speaker 1: a part of it. It's part of the ego because

644
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 1: men um think about sex very externally. They think about

645
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 1: sexual response very externally because of house, they respond to

646
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: sexual stimuli, so you know, when they have an orgasm,

647
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: they're used to seeing semen coming out of their penises.

648
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 1: For us, we are internalized, so when we have orgasms,

649
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,200
Speaker 1: everything's happening within us, but you don't see anything. So

650
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 1: for them, it's like the ultimate achievement. If I made

651
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 1: her squirt, I know that I did a good job man,

652
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 1: And it's like not necessarily, bro, I can still have

653
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: a great time and feel amazing without squirt and apparently

654
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: not her excuse me when I was reading that squirting

655
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: each time, it's not always an orgasm. It's not because sometimes,

656
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,760
Speaker 1: like literally, a squirt will happen without you even having

657
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:09,360
Speaker 1: an orgasm. It's just it's being stimulated, it wants to

658
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 1: come out. You let it flow, you know. Sometimes in

659
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: the company's an orgasm. Sometimes it doesn't. So just because

660
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,319
Speaker 1: you make her squirt does not mean you're doing a

661
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 1: good job at being a lover. You know, just her

662
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 1: body responding and I know this wasn't part of it.

663
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like people really had a

664
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:30,240
Speaker 1: lot of questions. It's like one of the most asked questions,

665
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 1: and it's so annoying to me because I'm like, man,

666
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 1: can you learn how to do fourplay first before you

667
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:40,520
Speaker 1: try to Frustrated, she was like, look like it's real,

668
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,240
Speaker 1: but it's not what you're seeing on TV. Like stop

669
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 1: this like facade of Like there's definitely, yeah, there's definitely.

670
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 1: So with looking into UM what you do and even

671
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: reading how you met your husband and reading that story,

672
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: I was just like, she's perfect. So we do a

673
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 1: lot of talk about couples in relationships. You're kind of

674
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 1: an expert at that UM and so when I looked

675
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 1: at UM, something that you practice right now with your

676
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 1: husband is free love. Before we get into that UM,

677
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: I kind of wanted to go down because I saw

678
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 1: you list all of these UM types of dating UM titles.

679
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 1: I guess that you could have the labels, and I know,

680
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 1: I kind of there's so many, but I actually didn't

681
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: know like three of them. So I want to go

682
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 1: through with our listeners because UM, we have a lot

683
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 1: of listeners right now who are trying to find. I

684
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 1: don't know non binary, triads, quads, solo, poly like. So

685
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 1: I just saw these quick lists on your right up

686
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 1: and I was like, Okay, well, maybe I can get

687
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 1: a definition because maybe there's people out here who want

688
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 1: to certain relationship and don't know how to address it

689
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,439
Speaker 1: or don't know what other partner to look for who

690
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 1: aligned with this, So let's I guess start with the

691
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 1: one that is sort of um easy. It's funny because

692
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: me and Weezy just spoke about this. Non monogamous entering

693
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,439
Speaker 1: a non monogamous relationship with someone means what. So non

694
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 1: monogamous is like basically an umbrella. Non monogamy will basically

695
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 1: categorize everything else we're seeing here. So it's like the umbrella.

696
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:11,720
Speaker 1: It means that you are not with just one person,

697
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,879
Speaker 1: whether that be socially meaning living together and all that,

698
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:19,240
Speaker 1: or sexually meaning solo just with sex with one person. Okay,

699
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 1: So polyamorous, we've talked about this, Do you want to

700
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 1: give that one real quick? We don't stay on that one.

701
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:28,240
Speaker 1: Polyamory is basically having a relationship with other people where

702
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 1: everyone involved knows what's going on and everyone has to

703
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: consent of everyone involved too for all this stuff to

704
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 1: go down. And it's not just about sex. It's also

705
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,760
Speaker 1: romantic partners as well. And most of the time people

706
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 1: have like a primary partner and then everyone else outside

707
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: the primary partner is considered a paramore. A paramore, Okay,

708
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 1: I've never heard of that one. It's it's a lot,

709
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,240
Speaker 1: it's a lot. It's a lot, And so that's poly

710
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: What does a solo poly? So, solo Polly is a

711
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 1: person who doesn't have a primary partner and they choose

712
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: not to take on a relationship that takes on the

713
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: form of a traditional relationship. Unicorn, I mean, I guess

714
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 1: if you want to call it that, the unicorn is polyamorous,

715
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 1: because unicorn could just be somebody that's guest starring. Really right, Yeah,

716
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: So this person, you know, they hold down multiple romantic

717
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 1: and sexual relationships without having a primary partner and without

718
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:25,280
Speaker 1: choosing to be in a relationship that looks like the typical.

719
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 1: Like you know, I'm dating this one person, you know,

720
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: like a typical So would that be like Milo Darling,

721
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 1: have you watched but she doesn't when correct me if

722
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 1: I'm wrong. Most everyone everyone about each other. Yeah, and

723
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 1: everyone doesn't know about each other, So she skipped a

724
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 1: little bit. But triads, I guess that's definitely what I had. Then,

725
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:53,280
Speaker 1: a triad in the quad is basically a polyamorous relationship

726
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 1: with everybody lives together in the same household. So if

727
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 1: it's three is try's four as quad and that's under

728
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 1: the poly. But but in that sense, they're all dating

729
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 1: each other and can't have outside relationships. They're all one relationship,

730
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,359
Speaker 1: like one big unit, living together, all contributing to each

731
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:16,359
Speaker 1: other's financial wellness and all that stuff. So but it's like, um,

732
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 1: there could be a primary partner within that, but they're

733
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: all just together, Okay. And then swingers, Um, we've talked

734
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 1: to you guys. We we pretty much know what swinging is. Um,

735
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:32,720
Speaker 1: So you don't practice any of these non binaries. Basically,

736
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 1: people who are in relationship that do not subscribe to

737
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 1: gender roles because talking about like a gender being, non

738
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 1: virus sexuality, yeah okay, not okay, not identifying with gender roles.

739
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 1: So of all of these labels, you say, throw all

740
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: them ships away. Um, they're okay, there's nothing wrong we're

741
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 1: practicing any of that. The main focus is are you

742
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: practicing love? Because a lot of people what they do

743
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: who is they get into these relationships, But they're still boundaries,

744
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: are still rules, they're still controlled, they're still jealousy, they're

745
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 1: still all these things that pop up because they're not

746
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 1: remembering the love in an end. Also, they don't have

747
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 1: a real purpose. But why they're even in this type

748
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 1: of relationship. It's like, okay, so you want to be polyamorous,

749
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 1: but what is your purpose? Is it just so that

750
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 1: you can fund other people? And that's it? Because if

751
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: that's if that's it, that's not going to go anywhere.

752
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:32,319
Speaker 1: You know, having a purpose in your relationship is a

753
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,760
Speaker 1: destination because it's a relationship a ship being a vehicle,

754
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,399
Speaker 1: so it has to carry you somewhere. If you don't

755
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 1: have a purpose, then why are you even doing it? Right?

756
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Because for the polyamorous person

757
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 1: who has a binary part of a primary partner and

758
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 1: then you have all these other people, what is your

759
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: purpose for having all these other people? Is it just

760
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,879
Speaker 1: so you can funk all the people? Because if that's

761
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:57,399
Speaker 1: the case, why are you even having this title? Like

762
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 1: and so free love is different these and what it's

763
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 1: just I call it. I called it free love because

764
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: the Irish person won't understand that love in itself is free.

765
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: Love is freedom, So that for me to be able

766
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 1: to explain it to people where they understand is to

767
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,759
Speaker 1: call it something, to give it a label, but really

768
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:20,879
Speaker 1: it has no label. My husband and I love each other,

769
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 1: and we love everyone in our lives the same. Love

770
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: is freedom, and within that you know he's not. He

771
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 1: doesn't require for me to change and thing about myself.

772
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 1: I don't require for him to change anything. And we

773
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 1: have multiple partners in our lives, and that does not

774
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 1: mean that all of our partners are sexual partners. His

775
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:41,320
Speaker 1: mother is a partner, My mother is my partner. His sisters,

776
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 1: his brothers, his business partners, his friends, these are all partners.

777
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: I got a question coming. So the love that we

778
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 1: that we practice is just love, and we don't. We

779
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:57,360
Speaker 1: don't hold any restrictions on each other. I haven't, so cheating,

780
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 1: So cheating doesn't exist in your relationship. There's no way

781
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: that because he could cheat or you could cheat. The

782
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 1: only way that we can cheat is if in our

783
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: minds we forget who we are to each other, and

784
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 1: we forget that we're on the same team. It's not

785
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 1: about what we do or don't do with our bodies

786
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 1: because our bodies don't mean anything. We're spiritual beings having

787
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 1: a human experience. But when people get into relationships, they

788
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 1: believe they have dominion over the other person's body. Oh

789
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:27,600
Speaker 1: you're mine now, so you're not allowed to go and

790
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:30,839
Speaker 1: have sex with someone else. But love says you're free

791
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 1: to do what you wanna do and don't do what

792
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,720
Speaker 1: you don't want to do. So for me to say, hey, Naim,

793
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 1: you can't go share your dick with anyone else because

794
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 1: I own you, that's not love. That's not love, that's

795
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 1: that's me being in my ego. He's free to do

796
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: whatever he wants to do, and he chooses to be

797
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 1: with me. Likewise, do I choose to be with him?

798
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 1: So our definition of cheating is if in my mind,

799
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, Naim is a fucked up person like my

800
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 1: egos telling me bullshit that I know it's not true,

801
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: and then I start believing it and then I start

802
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:08,360
Speaker 1: attacking him. That's true infidelity when you start forgetting that

803
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 1: your partner is an innocent party, who who you trust

804
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 1: and who you love, and then you start attacking them

805
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 1: because you're believing lies that your ego is telling, right,

806
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 1: So you're saying cheating has nothing to do have nothing

807
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 1: to do with what we don't do with our bodies,

808
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 1: That has everything to do with how we think about it, right,

809
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 1: Because a lot of people say that you can cheat

810
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,720
Speaker 1: just by texting someone else or being like emotionally involved

811
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,919
Speaker 1: with someone else. So it's funny because but so many

812
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 1: women to look for their partner to be doing something wrong,

813
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 1: and so you got to really look at it. What

814
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 1: are you basing your relationship on? Are you basically get

815
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 1: on love, which is the content, or are you basically

816
00:42:43,880 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 1: get on the form meaning um sex, romance, text messages,

817
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 1: phone calls, dates, who you talk to, who you interact with. So,

818
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:57,360
Speaker 1: because if you then if that's not cheating, then what

819
00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 1: is it called? When our average definition of cheating where

820
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 1: someone's partner ends up sleeping with someone else and they're

821
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 1: being lied to, then what's that? That's that's people labeling,

822
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 1: labeling it whatever they want to label it. Because the

823
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 1: average person in a relationship believes that they're in a

824
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:17,240
Speaker 1: situation where they have control over someone. So of course,

825
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: if you're in a relationship where you feel like you

826
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: own someone and you have dominion, over whatever they do

827
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 1: with their bodies. Of course you're going to call that cheating,

828
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: but but we're not. We're not playing games here, Devil's advocate,

829
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 1: because I feel like everyone that's listening is like this nuts. Well, yeah,

830
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 1: it's gonna sound crazy. You want to know why are

831
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 1: because the average person out here doesn't think as well.

832
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 1: But I do. Relationship. I'm really trying to like stay

833
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 1: on the same track here. I don't even ship the

834
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 1: person I'm going to someone else. I think that has

835
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 1: nothing to do with what we have and you and

836
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 1: you are thinking the correct way, but I can't tell

837
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 1: you that. I don't call someone being lied to and

838
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 1: like sleeping behind someone's back cheating. So like that's where

839
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 1: I'm confused, because this is something that works for me

840
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 1: and you, but to someone else that it doesn't work

841
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 1: for it for two people that are consenting that they

842
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 1: just want to be the only ones. Then what what

843
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 1: about monogamous people? Well, for monogamous people, So we are

844
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:14,560
Speaker 1: we only talking about in terms of people that are

845
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 1: non monogamous. See, this is the thing. If you are

846
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: a person that wants to be monogamous, and you and

847
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 1: your partner have an agreement that Oh, we're only going

848
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 1: to be with each other. That's completely fine. But the

849
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:29,719
Speaker 1: question is are you subscribing to love or do you

850
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: care more about the form, who you do, what with,

851
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 1: where you go all that stuff. Because if love is

852
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 1: the main thing that's holding you together, whether you are

853
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:43,880
Speaker 1: in a monogamous relationship or not, it should not matter

854
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 1: what someone else does with someone else because love cannot

855
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: be threatened. There is nothing that can ever be done,

856
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 1: nothing you can ever do with anyone else that will

857
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:55,400
Speaker 1: threaten the love that you and your partner have for

858
00:44:55,480 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 1: each other. I believe, however, But is it argues ascribing

859
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 1: to ego if you are going behind your partner's back

860
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 1: and being sneaky and and doing things. No, of course

861
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 1: you are, because you're forgetting love in that moment. If

862
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 1: you love your partner, open communication that that should, that should.

863
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:18,800
Speaker 1: It's probably more so the communication that if you're lying

864
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 1: and you're being deceitful, cheating like greed, jealousy, those things

865
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: come from fear right fears of the ego. If you

866
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:31,759
Speaker 1: love your partner, you know that even if they went

867
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 1: out there and fucked a thousand digs or sucked a

868
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 1: thousand pussies, like it's not going to change the love

869
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,479
Speaker 1: that they have for you. But at the same time,

870
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,720
Speaker 1: it's like, in the midst of that, can you still

871
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 1: see your partner as the loving person that you trust

872
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 1: even if they decide to go and flex their autonomy

873
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:51,719
Speaker 1: because whether you guys have this contract or not, they're

874
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 1: still free. Now that's the whole thing, Like can you

875
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 1: stay for you? So how does it work in your

876
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:00,080
Speaker 1: relationship where you just said like I don't own and

877
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,399
Speaker 1: blah blah blah and these things that are true. How

878
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 1: did you feel when he's with someone else? Do you

879
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: need to know? Are there are any rules that you have? No?

880
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 1: Why do I need to know about where he's going

881
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:15,279
Speaker 1: and what he's doing? What with Like I don't, I don't,

882
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 1: So what do you track his movements? When he's like, oh,

883
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,160
Speaker 1: I'm going out the house, so I'm going out the

884
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 1: house to help my mother. I'll be back. I don't

885
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:26,920
Speaker 1: question that. But then as soon as he's going out

886
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: the house to be with somebody else that's not a

887
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 1: mother or a friend, now I'm supposed to jump down

888
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:33,319
Speaker 1: his throat and ask him where he's going and what

889
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:37,279
Speaker 1: he's doing for what? So what commitment is what is

890
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 1: your commitment to each other? Then, because a lot of

891
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,399
Speaker 1: people feel feel like so you do, so you don't

892
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 1: need anything else? Is there anything? There's not? So for example,

893
00:46:46,320 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 1: like a lot of things that I need personally, And

894
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: maybe it is my ego or in an insecurity, but

895
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 1: I like, you know you're married. I'd feel like I

896
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,840
Speaker 1: would need someone to know when someone's home with me,

897
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:57,279
Speaker 1: Like I would want to know if I was going

898
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 1: to come home and someone wasn't there, that's very important

899
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,839
Speaker 1: to me, or if they make a plan. I feel

900
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 1: like to me, it's at least consider it. So how

901
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:06,920
Speaker 1: do you Because you're saying you don't feel like you

902
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 1: owe any of that, No, I'm not. He does. He

903
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,840
Speaker 1: does not owe me an explanation, But you're the primary partner. No,

904
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,759
Speaker 1: I'm I'm one of his partners and we just happen

905
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,360
Speaker 1: to be married. So you don't use the word primary

906
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 1: at all. No, because he has many partners in his life,

907
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: even though as a wife, he still don't think primary

908
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:27,839
Speaker 1: is a good word. Why. I mean, look, yeah, I'm

909
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 1: married to this man because we've chosen to be. But

910
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:32,920
Speaker 1: just because I have this title of wife now doesn't

911
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: change anything about the love that has anything to change

912
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 1: about the stuff like we talked about. When we don't

913
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 1: we don't write. I know you don't have Now does

914
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:46,319
Speaker 1: that title change or um? Are you open about your

915
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 1: title with him when you have other partners? Do you

916
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 1: have other partners as well? Yeah, I just told you

917
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,960
Speaker 1: we like all of our partners are not just sexual

918
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 1: and he's limited to the sexual partners then, because that's

919
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 1: where I think a lot of our listeners don't understand.

920
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 1: People get completely confused because people put more importance on

921
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 1: sex over love. So and this is where people get

922
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,840
Speaker 1: themselves fucked up in love most of the time, because

923
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 1: you're placing more emphasis on form, which is sex, which

924
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 1: in itself doesn't mean anything because sex can be used,

925
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 1: uh for violence, and sex can also be used to

926
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 1: heal and to join together. But people use something that

927
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 1: is completely meaningless in itself to harm themselves in separation,

928
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:35,439
Speaker 1: separating themselves from the next person simply because oh, you've

929
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:38,839
Speaker 1: had sex with someone else. Are sexual partners. I don't

930
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:40,720
Speaker 1: know how many he has. He could have a thousand.

931
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:42,879
Speaker 1: I don't ask him that because it doesn't matter to me.

932
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 1: And the same with me, like I have other sexual partners.

933
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 1: But does he ask me about them? No, so you

934
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 1: don't even share anything, So like, well, how does it happen?

935
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 1: I mean, because you you look together, he's your husband.

936
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,319
Speaker 1: I'm sure you talk and that's probably your best friend, right,

937
00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 1: So when does the conversation start to happen? How do

938
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:03,720
Speaker 1: you learn about each other's other partners? We don't because

939
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter unless we bring it up. But you

940
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:10,840
Speaker 1: don't when it only matters if those people are joining

941
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 1: with us for a purpose. If it's just sex, that's purposeless.

942
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 1: You're just bumping. But you're saying not even just sexual partners?

943
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 1: Like when I mean, meet someone knew that's great and

944
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 1: you start seeing them, Like, at what point do you share?

945
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 1: Is that too much to share? Like whenever we feel

946
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 1: like when do we feel like it? Like I don't

947
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,799
Speaker 1: ever press him because he meets so many people on

948
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 1: the street, and he's an author and he always pushes

949
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,359
Speaker 1: his books, so whenever he meets somebody, the first thing

950
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 1: he's doing is, hey, I wrote this book about love.

951
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 1: You know, I'll give you a free copy. Whatever. Well,

952
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 1: I asked from the standpoint of like, um, so I

953
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 1: know if you polyamorous couples and I'm not polyamorous. We're

954
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 1: just not monogamous. But there's times where he'll say to me, like,

955
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 1: I met this girl and he's excited to tell me

956
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 1: about it, or like the experience with it. How does

957
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,320
Speaker 1: that work for you? Do you, I mean, do you

958
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 1: guys do that or do you feel like it's sometimes

959
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 1: too much or it's not something that's we acquired. So

960
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 1: if he meets somebody and he's had an experience and

961
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 1: he wants to share it with me, he does, but

962
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 1: it's not a requirement for him or for me. Sometimes

963
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 1: we're out and we both meet people at the same time,

964
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 1: you know, and then we'll engage with them and stuff

965
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 1: like that. But it legit is not a requirement for

966
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 1: advice for people that have been considering this but they're

967
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 1: worried about peus purpose that that's the whole thing. If

968
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 1: you do not set a purpose with the person that

969
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:31,719
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship, why are we together? Where is

970
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:35,319
Speaker 1: this going? Then all the other stuff that pops up

971
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 1: from the ego because you believe that you own somebody,

972
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,879
Speaker 1: that stuff is going to destroy it by default. Because

973
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 1: if you do not set a purpose intentionally for a partnership,

974
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 1: then your relationship is just going to be running on

975
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 1: default and eventually all the stuff that we see that

976
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:52,880
Speaker 1: plague the average person in their relationship is going to

977
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,839
Speaker 1: come in. It's inevitable and it's going to sink your ship.

978
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 1: Have another question, A lot of people do this when

979
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 1: they are feeling like they're on the edge and they

980
00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: need something else. Do you think that this is something

981
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:07,359
Speaker 1: that can save a relationship? Um only with purpose? Right

982
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 1: because listen, because a lot of people do it when

983
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 1: they're super in love and they feel like they want

984
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: to open their hearts more to other people and whatever

985
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 1: and have experiences and whatever. But some people feel like

986
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,399
Speaker 1: this is the end, We're going to have to do this.

987
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 1: That's the wrong people. Yeah, if people go into being open,

988
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,800
Speaker 1: which is really think about it. Naturally, as animals, we

989
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 1: are not monogamous, and there's two different types of monogamy.

990
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 1: Is social monogamy and then also a sexual monogamy. But

991
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 1: just because you choose to be with one person, because

992
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 1: that's it's really a choice, doesn't mean you're attraction cuts

993
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 1: off you know, and yours and we all naturally develop relationships,

994
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 1: right like right now, we have a relationship because we're

995
00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:48,839
Speaker 1: in here talking relating to each other. So you can't

996
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,479
Speaker 1: stop that, which means you can't even stop you can't

997
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:53,879
Speaker 1: stop thoughts going through your head. Because think about this.

998
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 1: When you meet somebody, first thing you think, well, I

999
00:51:56,480 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 1: funk this person, right thin normal. Even if you subscribe

1000
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 1: to monogamy and you choose that, it's not going to

1001
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 1: turn off that innate quality to want to join with

1002
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:10,080
Speaker 1: other people. That's natural. But again it's all about the purpose.

1003
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: Whether you want to be non monogamous, polyamorous, all of

1004
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: that set the purpose with every single last person you're

1005
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:20,719
Speaker 1: in a relationship with, so then you know that okay, Like,

1006
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 1: for instance, my partner and I our purpose, we have

1007
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 1: a few different things underneath our purpose. One of them

1008
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 1: is to remember our innocence and to never attack each other.

1009
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 1: Another one is to laugh and play together. Another one

1010
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 1: is to heal with each other so um oh, and

1011
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:41,439
Speaker 1: to always remember who each other is in love. So

1012
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:45,840
Speaker 1: because we have these staples now of our for our purpose,

1013
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:48,640
Speaker 1: whenever we do start feeling that stuff coming up from

1014
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:50,600
Speaker 1: our ego, we go right back to why we were

1015
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 1: together in the first place, and it serves as an

1016
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 1: anchor in our ship to keep us focused no matter

1017
00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:59,839
Speaker 1: where some things like that maybe not as um as

1018
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:01,839
Speaker 1: each other or maybe in different ways. But people saying

1019
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 1: that need to have an anchor. That's really good. And

1020
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 1: I think, um, so it's funny speaking of um, I

1021
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 1: guess regular people. We have home mail from one of

1022
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 1: our let's question. Yeah, I feel like it should change

1023
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 1: it always. I feel like it's something people would want

1024
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 1: to know. Because you mentioned his big thing right now,

1025
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:23,839
Speaker 1: fun the home mail. Think we can get to him.

1026
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 1: We got you today. So you said you're his wife,

1027
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 1: and you're and you also said that you're not as

1028
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 1: primary so like and and then discussed how you don't

1029
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 1: really need the labels. Then why get married? Well, I

1030
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 1: mean we just wanted to take the taxes. Well not

1031
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 1: even that what in your mind wanted to display? People

1032
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 1: feel like they don't need it. It serves no purpose. Yeah,

1033
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:47,439
Speaker 1: I mean in itself it doesn't. But also you gotta

1034
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 1: remember that marriage starts whatever purpose you give it. So

1035
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:52,920
Speaker 1: for us, our purpose and being together is to be

1036
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 1: reflections of each other and reminders to each other of

1037
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 1: who we are in love and in God. So our

1038
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 1: marriage isn't about like joining our money. I mean we

1039
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:04,960
Speaker 1: already did that the moment we met. You know, everything

1040
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:09,839
Speaker 1: became one from the moment we started being together. For us,

1041
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 1: it's like, we know that the world has this perception

1042
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 1: of marriage, right and with us being love advocates and

1043
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 1: love educators were like, we're gonna get married and we're

1044
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 1: gonna use our marriage as an example of what can

1045
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 1: be because people don't believe marriage can be perfect. People

1046
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 1: don't believe that marriage can just be free and open

1047
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 1: without you needing all this other stuff to try to

1048
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 1: define it. Like you do what you wanna do, you

1049
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 1: don't do what you wanna, don't want to do. You

1050
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 1: have a purpose that binds you together and you leave

1051
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:45,320
Speaker 1: it at that, and communication, trust, all that stuff is

1052
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 1: like built into that. But um, we're using our marriage

1053
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 1: as a display of what can be. So it's not

1054
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:58,920
Speaker 1: about whatever whyever anyone else gets married or their purpose.

1055
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 1: We have a very specific intention and purpose for why

1056
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,800
Speaker 1: we're doing what we're doing because in the past I

1057
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,759
Speaker 1: was likely to be married, like you know, I never

1058
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:14,280
Speaker 1: and he too. Oh tomorrow it will be nine months, yeah,

1059
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:18,279
Speaker 1: and two days married. We have been married going on

1060
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:23,280
Speaker 1: a week on Saturday. Is how quids together? Um? We

1061
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:28,319
Speaker 1: he gave me keys the first time I came to

1062
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 1: New York to stay with him. He's like, you're laying

1063
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 1: down next to somebody, You're sticking. You're dicking somebody. You

1064
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:36,200
Speaker 1: can't give them keys in your place. Don't don't think

1065
00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 1: like that, because girl, what do you made me feel bad?

1066
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 1: I don't one of them talking? You know, all right,

1067
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 1: just don't talk, just sticking in. I've been there, so

1068
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:55,040
Speaker 1: I guess, um, we'll get into our home mail. Um,

1069
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 1: and this is one that I picked specifically for you

1070
00:55:57,280 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 1: because as we're talking about labels, this is kind of

1071
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 1: of things she's in search for and ask for our opinion.

1072
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 1: So it says, Hi, Mandy and wheezy, I'm in the

1073
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 1: situation ship to end all situation ships. The guy that

1074
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 1: I have been seeing. Um, oh, I'm sorry, I just

1075
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:14,239
Speaker 1: slawt it the guy have been seeing. And I gotta

1076
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 1: start proof reading these, y'all gotta start write and write. Um.

1077
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,400
Speaker 1: We have been together quote unquote for almost two years.

1078
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,439
Speaker 1: He came into my life during an extremely hard time

1079
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:25,640
Speaker 1: in my life and has stuck around with me through

1080
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:28,920
Speaker 1: some very hard family situations. He acts like my boyfriend,

1081
00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:31,400
Speaker 1: takes me on dates, sleeps over my house where I

1082
00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:33,799
Speaker 1: live with my mother four to five times a week.

1083
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 1: We don't talk to slash other people, and he asked

1084
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 1: me to cut off my ex completely, not I'm followed,

1085
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:42,279
Speaker 1: not I'm follow on social media, but stop sending him

1086
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:45,439
Speaker 1: occasional text because it makes him uncomfortable. He is even

1087
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:48,359
Speaker 1: planning on buying my mom and brother Christmas presents. For

1088
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:51,320
Speaker 1: some reason, he still will not make me his girlfriend.

1089
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:53,799
Speaker 1: Most people try to tell me it's just because he's

1090
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 1: not that into me, but I'm not going alive. I'm

1091
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:58,719
Speaker 1: a bit crazy and I don't really get why he

1092
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 1: would stick around through my psychotic episodes, not to mention

1093
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:04,480
Speaker 1: the crazy ship that has happened with my family and

1094
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:06,319
Speaker 1: the fact that he has cut off all the other

1095
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,600
Speaker 1: girls for me and barely goes out and lives his

1096
00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:10,880
Speaker 1: single life. Like I said, we stay in four to

1097
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 1: five nights a week at my house, watching Netflix, but

1098
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:16,280
Speaker 1: still not wife me. He told me a few weeks

1099
00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 1: ago that he was afraid to tell me his real

1100
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 1: insecurities and hesitations to being in a relationship because he

1101
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:24,280
Speaker 1: was afraid I would look at him differently and not

1102
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 1: want to be with him anymore. I'm afraid of what

1103
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: that might mean. I want to hear his real reasons,

1104
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:31,080
Speaker 1: but I'm scared of what he's going to say. I

1105
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 1: also don't want to rock the boat because I'll be honest,

1106
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:35,320
Speaker 1: I'm in love with him and don't want to ruin

1107
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 1: our relationship. I know he has some some hang ups

1108
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 1: from his last relationship, but I just don't get what

1109
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: he could be so serious that, after two years and

1110
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 1: countless hurdles we've crossed, he won't consider me his real girlfriend.

1111
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:49,120
Speaker 1: Is it time to try to move on? Or do

1112
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 1: I continue trying to make this happen because I already

1113
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 1: have so much invested sincerely never gonna get wife. I

1114
00:57:56,960 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 1: wonder if she's happy. So yeah, thank you for even

1115
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:04,160
Speaker 1: saying that, because the real question is here, what are

1116
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 1: you more concerned about? It sounds like the title the

1117
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:10,800
Speaker 1: title or the content meaning the love, because clearly this

1118
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 1: man loves her. If you're doing all these things you're

1119
00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 1: doing for her, She's in a situation ship, which is

1120
00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 1: a relationship. You know, it's just um, it would be

1121
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 1: considered an open relationship. But what's funny is it seems

1122
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 1: it appears that they've both cut you know, extra people

1123
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 1: out of there. Now it's sounding like they are sexually monogamous. Okay, fine,

1124
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:43,120
Speaker 1: but the real question is again, what matters more the

1125
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 1: title or the content? Doesn't matter more that he has

1126
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 1: a label for you? Or does it matter more that

1127
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 1: he's there for you and supports you and spending time

1128
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 1: with you. And also too had this conversation also too, Yeah,

1129
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,320
Speaker 1: and then once I end up like, oh, you want

1130
00:58:58,360 --> 00:58:59,480
Speaker 1: me to be your boyfriend? I was like, you know what,

1131
00:58:59,520 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. But then too, that's the whole point.

1132
00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 1: So she's so caught up and being the girlfriend, but

1133
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 1: what is your purpose? Right? Because she's even to the

1134
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 1: point where she's like should I leave him? And it's like,

1135
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 1: you're really going to leave him over just a title.

1136
00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 1: It was a video that came out on Twitter or

1137
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,200
Speaker 1: Instagram where a girl was talking about why we need

1138
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,600
Speaker 1: the title so bad if things don't change, and saying

1139
00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:21,440
Speaker 1: that it's this thing of commitment in our minds. And

1140
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 1: you know, the person I'm dating I had wanted that

1141
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:28,000
Speaker 1: so bad and at one point he was like, I

1142
00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:30,680
Speaker 1: don't know why, and then he said, fine, do you

1143
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 1: want me to be your boyfriend? And like, is that it?

1144
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 1: And then when I heard it, it was just like

1145
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:36,880
Speaker 1: it sounded crazy because you don't have a real purpose,

1146
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:40,080
Speaker 1: but why you even want to be and and I

1147
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 1: think that um something that in my mind made me

1148
00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 1: feel more important, which was ridiculous. Yeah, because there there

1149
00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 1: really is no level of importance and love, like love

1150
00:59:49,880 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 1: just is and everybody is the same, and love treats

1151
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:54,880
Speaker 1: everybody the same. I mean, if you wanted that back,

1152
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:57,320
Speaker 1: why don't you ask him to be your boyfriend? Right?

1153
00:59:57,680 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 1: Like That's kind of where I think, Yeah, it's funny

1154
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 1: because after we just delve into how deep relationships are

1155
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 1: in free love and what love is, reading this back

1156
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 1: is just like, you just sound crazy right now. You

1157
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:13,640
Speaker 1: sound like I can't because I've been there. She was

1158
01:00:13,680 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 1: definitely there, like and you know, and my friends would say, well,

1159
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 1: he's never gonna do it, and Mandy would say he's

1160
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 1: never gonna meet and Mandy got to fight about it,

1161
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 1: and I it took me time to realize and stopped

1162
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:27,160
Speaker 1: listening to other people for what they know men to do,

1163
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:29,400
Speaker 1: to just think like, but it was even me telling

1164
01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 1: you that serious that he's not giving you that title.

1165
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:33,840
Speaker 1: And I would yell at her because it would be like,

1166
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 1: you just want him to tell you you're you're with him,

1167
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:39,280
Speaker 1: you're sleeping with him, y'all are open your communications wanting

1168
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 1: to go be with him? Why are you so strong

1169
01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 1: on this title of boyfriend? And we literally talk to

1170
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,240
Speaker 1: think it's just a societal norm. It is just one

1171
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:48,040
Speaker 1: of the days. There were times that I didn't know

1172
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:50,520
Speaker 1: what to call him, and then once the mom meeting happened,

1173
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:51,680
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, what do you know? My boy

1174
01:00:51,720 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 1: were not don't know when it was just like my

1175
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:56,240
Speaker 1: mama had to tell me to get out my head. Yeah, yeah,

1176
01:00:56,360 --> 01:00:58,440
Speaker 1: when when it's funny. I always mentioned this to my therapist.

1177
01:00:58,440 --> 01:00:59,640
Speaker 1: He says, one of the things that you feel like

1178
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:01,520
Speaker 1: you're in and go with And that was one of

1179
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:03,960
Speaker 1: the things I mentioned to him, and he's like, why

1180
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 1: why do you care? And it's a purpose And I

1181
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:11,480
Speaker 1: think that a lot of women will say that if

1182
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,720
Speaker 1: a man won't call you this, and a lot of people,

1183
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:15,520
Speaker 1: a lot of men will say this to their girl

1184
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:17,840
Speaker 1: friends or whatever and say, if he won't make you

1185
01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 1: a girl, he doesn't give a funk, or he just

1186
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 1: wants to be single and be open, and this man

1187
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:25,120
Speaker 1: is free to do what he wants to do. And

1188
01:01:25,120 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 1: guess what even if it was you want to know

1189
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 1: the beauty and that and having the power of decision.

1190
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 1: When he does decide and choose to be with you,

1191
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:38,080
Speaker 1: that's a gift because guess what, he can be with

1192
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 1: anybody he wants to be with at any given time.

1193
01:01:41,160 --> 01:01:44,400
Speaker 1: But if he's choosing to spend time with you, that

1194
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:47,160
Speaker 1: means that he actually wants to be there. Right you know,

1195
01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:50,920
Speaker 1: your presence is a gift in anybody's life. Your presence

1196
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 1: is a gift in anyone's life, and that's how you

1197
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:55,400
Speaker 1: have to look at it. This is why people start

1198
01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:58,760
Speaker 1: taking each other for granted, because you assume that they

1199
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 1: are entitled to be there. Simply because you have these

1200
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:07,280
Speaker 1: romantic feelings towards each other, or because you're fucking each other,

1201
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:11,240
Speaker 1: or because you get text messages every day and spend

1202
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:13,960
Speaker 1: time with each other and eat together every day, you

1203
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:18,880
Speaker 1: assume that this is an obligation now, all because you

1204
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 1: have this contract through sex or monogamy, whatever. But in reality,

1205
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 1: we all have power of decision at any time. You

1206
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:29,960
Speaker 1: don't want to be with who you're with or with

1207
01:02:29,960 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 1: who you're with, you can just leave block at any

1208
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 1: time right now. But because you because you consciously choose

1209
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:45,080
Speaker 1: to show up and be present with that person. It

1210
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:47,400
Speaker 1: is a gift. And when you can think of it

1211
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:49,560
Speaker 1: like that, you will stop taking the people in your

1212
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:52,800
Speaker 1: life for granted. And also like raise up your own

1213
01:02:52,840 --> 01:02:54,960
Speaker 1: self esteem and realizing like, oh wait, sh it, I

1214
01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:58,400
Speaker 1: ain't gonna be here, especially when it is happening that

1215
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:01,720
Speaker 1: doesn't make you feel comfortable in this situation with this guy.

1216
01:03:02,040 --> 01:03:05,080
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like he's done anything or say anything

1217
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:08,320
Speaker 1: too hard to make her feel like, um, not loved.

1218
01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:11,120
Speaker 1: It seems like he's a very loving guys there with you.

1219
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:14,360
Speaker 1: It is probably friends. Even it might be her friends

1220
01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:16,200
Speaker 1: nagging her like so you just gonna have this nigga

1221
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 1: all up in your house for five times a week

1222
01:03:18,240 --> 01:03:20,520
Speaker 1: and Joe, man, it's probably it could be that. And

1223
01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:22,960
Speaker 1: I think a lot of our listeners need to realize

1224
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 1: that they don't even This image doesn't need to be

1225
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:29,040
Speaker 1: created for everyone outside your relationship and who you deal with,

1226
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:31,960
Speaker 1: because girl, everyone keep asking me about seven. I like

1227
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:34,680
Speaker 1: our relationship and what it is. I don't need him

1228
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend. And we talked even for like an

1229
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 1: hour last night, like before I wrote a dick, and

1230
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:45,920
Speaker 1: it was just like the first time of three. It

1231
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:50,080
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna happen often. Um, but we even we openly

1232
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 1: talked about it, and he was like, he called me

1233
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:54,200
Speaker 1: a rare breed, and I was like, I know because

1234
01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:57,160
Speaker 1: he's like just certain other relationships that he's had. And

1235
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:02,560
Speaker 1: that's exactly when you're when you're open like that and

1236
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:07,240
Speaker 1: you're honest, right and you give him that freedom, yeah,

1237
01:04:07,480 --> 01:04:10,680
Speaker 1: you will find that he's around more. Why I cut

1238
01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:13,160
Speaker 1: around for four years exactly? You want to know why,

1239
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:15,680
Speaker 1: because you're not doing the clink clink ship that every person.

1240
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:18,400
Speaker 1: And we openly talked about that, and he was like,

1241
01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:21,200
Speaker 1: we just had a brief conversation about it. But I

1242
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,520
Speaker 1: was like, and he started saying everything I was telling

1243
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 1: my friends, and I was like, Nick, you've seen everything

1244
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 1: I've been trying to tell my friends because they're all

1245
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,120
Speaker 1: asking me why I'm not trying to make you my boyfriend,

1246
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:32,520
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I like what we have like and

1247
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:34,320
Speaker 1: you've been around. You're there when I need you for

1248
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:36,000
Speaker 1: what I need you for, and we have fun. We

1249
01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:38,240
Speaker 1: enjoy each other's company, and that's it. That's what I

1250
01:04:38,280 --> 01:04:42,320
Speaker 1: want you guys should like today and tomorrow or whatever,

1251
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:44,720
Speaker 1: just at of purpose, the purpose could be to have

1252
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:49,080
Speaker 1: fun and play together, eyes out of each other, boom,

1253
01:04:49,240 --> 01:04:51,960
Speaker 1: and then you know, there you go. You got you

1254
01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:55,200
Speaker 1: got something that's rooting you in the relationship with him.

1255
01:04:55,240 --> 01:04:58,120
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, people put way too much emphasis

1256
01:04:58,200 --> 01:05:02,200
Speaker 1: on the titles. One of the things people are doing

1257
01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:04,360
Speaker 1: the time spending all that time that someone's got a

1258
01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:06,080
Speaker 1: husband out there with a beautiful house and kids in

1259
01:05:06,080 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 1: their miserable Yeah. Absolutely, married, Mary's just not marriage. Just not.

1260
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:15,640
Speaker 1: Do you feel different in the last two days? Are we?

1261
01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:18,400
Speaker 1: The only thing that I feel different about is just

1262
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:23,240
Speaker 1: my commitment. You always remember who he is. You know

1263
01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 1: what she's gonna feel that a difference. Tax time is

1264
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,919
Speaker 1: coming up. You got to see the difference. Well, see,

1265
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:32,160
Speaker 1: you know, I kind of know what happens with taxes,

1266
01:05:32,240 --> 01:05:36,840
Speaker 1: and that's gonna be we both owned, you know, businesses

1267
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:39,200
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. So he said, we'll cross that bridge.

1268
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:42,200
Speaker 1: Because he even told me, he said, you can put

1269
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:44,520
Speaker 1: whatever you want on your taxes, married or single, it

1270
01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:46,880
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. I'm like, okay, well, well that kind of

1271
01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 1: has coming to grants because you can't put he puts married.

1272
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:55,440
Speaker 1: I mean, you know all that stuff. I was like,

1273
01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:56,760
Speaker 1: I got a c p a for that ship and

1274
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:58,800
Speaker 1: then I let him lead. It's like, that's that's what

1275
01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:02,760
Speaker 1: I'm about to be girl. All right. Yeah, so our

1276
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 1: other guys is here, but I'm gonna go ahead and

1277
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 1: ask you this last question because I wanted to ask you,

1278
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:08,840
Speaker 1: and it's a little bit off um relationships, but it's

1279
01:06:08,840 --> 01:06:10,600
Speaker 1: something that I know you're good at. This is what

1280
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:15,560
Speaker 1: the your bitch sex work. Um. My question is about

1281
01:06:15,640 --> 01:06:19,640
Speaker 1: the spark in a relationship, so not the actual relationship. Um.

1282
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:22,200
Speaker 1: When I first got with my wife, we talked about

1283
01:06:22,240 --> 01:06:24,400
Speaker 1: doing all kinds of freaky things, and over the course

1284
01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:27,320
Speaker 1: of the years, she's become a prude, no moral no

1285
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:30,680
Speaker 1: watching porn, no masturbation. We have sex once a month,

1286
01:06:30,680 --> 01:06:32,480
Speaker 1: and I feel like it's me who is to blame.

1287
01:06:32,880 --> 01:06:36,880
Speaker 1: We've had issues with infidelity on both ends, hers and mine,

1288
01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:39,760
Speaker 1: and we even attempted having an open relationship, but it

1289
01:06:39,800 --> 01:06:42,800
Speaker 1: was only to her benefit. So my question is how

1290
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:45,200
Speaker 1: do I get my freak back that I once had?

1291
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:47,600
Speaker 1: By the way, I love y'all and wish I could

1292
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:51,000
Speaker 1: have a show as amazing as y'all's. Well, thank you, um,

1293
01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:53,120
Speaker 1: and I actually said we're gonna say this was Taomi,

1294
01:06:53,680 --> 01:06:57,880
Speaker 1: So well they got to start over. And starting over,

1295
01:06:57,960 --> 01:07:03,480
Speaker 1: you gotta remember first of all that each both of

1296
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:07,040
Speaker 1: you are innocent. You know, she went out did what

1297
01:07:07,120 --> 01:07:10,360
Speaker 1: she wanted to do because she wanted to do that,

1298
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:13,120
Speaker 1: and it had nothing to do with her not loving him,

1299
01:07:13,160 --> 01:07:15,840
Speaker 1: but everything to do with whatever was going on in

1300
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:20,160
Speaker 1: her head and she chose to do same thing with him. Okay, fine,

1301
01:07:20,480 --> 01:07:22,280
Speaker 1: but now they literally have to go back to square

1302
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:25,320
Speaker 1: one because guess what, this woman is not the same

1303
01:07:25,360 --> 01:07:30,480
Speaker 1: woman that you met first. And okay, you're saying that

1304
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:34,920
Speaker 1: it be infidelity, whatever, have a conversation. How about have

1305
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:38,000
Speaker 1: an honest hearts or heard conversation about what's going on,

1306
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:43,520
Speaker 1: because there is nothing that anyone can do to you

1307
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:47,880
Speaker 1: or say that it's going to make you react or

1308
01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:50,880
Speaker 1: respond a certain way. It's how you perceive what that

1309
01:07:50,960 --> 01:07:53,360
Speaker 1: person has said or done, unless start physically attacking you.

1310
01:07:53,920 --> 01:07:57,000
Speaker 1: There is nothing that anyone can do to harm you,

1311
01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:00,920
Speaker 1: not what they do with someone else's body or not whatever.

1312
01:08:01,360 --> 01:08:04,720
Speaker 1: So really it's in her. She's in her own head

1313
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:07,840
Speaker 1: and whatever she's going through right now, she has to

1314
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:10,920
Speaker 1: overcome that. Yeah, this is a guy wanting his wife

1315
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:13,360
Speaker 1: to to open back up. So is there anything I

1316
01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:15,960
Speaker 1: know you deal with couples. Um, what would you tell

1317
01:08:16,000 --> 01:08:19,760
Speaker 1: a mail that is something maybe he could do maybe

1318
01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:24,280
Speaker 1: aside from communication or I mean talk that they need

1319
01:08:24,360 --> 01:08:28,040
Speaker 1: to that they need to buy my husband's book Love

1320
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:29,720
Speaker 1: Is Not a Game and they need to read that

1321
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:32,280
Speaker 1: together and they need to go back Yeah, they need

1322
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:34,960
Speaker 1: to go back in and really re established the purpose

1323
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:40,400
Speaker 1: for why they're together. What can someone This sounds so

1324
01:08:40,479 --> 01:08:41,800
Speaker 1: terrible the way I'm wordering it, but like what can

1325
01:08:41,840 --> 01:08:44,639
Speaker 1: someone pay you for like life coaching type of things?

1326
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:48,200
Speaker 1: Like It's so when I work with couples, it really

1327
01:08:48,320 --> 01:08:54,560
Speaker 1: is like it's basically talk based coaching and then sometimes it's, uh,

1328
01:08:54,640 --> 01:08:57,920
Speaker 1: it can involve touch and stuff. It just depends on

1329
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:01,120
Speaker 1: what we're working on. Like if a couple wants to

1330
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 1: learn different sex positions and stuff, then of course touching

1331
01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:06,679
Speaker 1: will be involved. But I don't have sex with clients

1332
01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:10,439
Speaker 1: like that, That's not what I do. Um, but everything

1333
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:12,840
Speaker 1: is the things that you've said, a lot of people

1334
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:14,320
Speaker 1: want to reach out to you. So that's why they

1335
01:09:14,320 --> 01:09:16,439
Speaker 1: can totally reach out to me. You just just got

1336
01:09:16,439 --> 01:09:18,760
Speaker 1: to know that I don't have sex with clients, and yeah,

1337
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:23,880
Speaker 1: yeah we're not We're not Yoming is not coming over

1338
01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:26,680
Speaker 1: and giving you a ride session. I'll give you a

1339
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:29,120
Speaker 1: ride session by teaching you the moves and then you

1340
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:30,640
Speaker 1: can do it. If you want to have sex in

1341
01:09:30,640 --> 01:09:32,760
Speaker 1: front of me, you can do that as well. But

1342
01:09:32,880 --> 01:09:35,639
Speaker 1: I'm not think that's what King Nora does. He helps

1343
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:38,080
Speaker 1: and gets couples right before they're about to have sex.

1344
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:39,840
Speaker 1: That's what he said he does as well. I mean,

1345
01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:44,080
Speaker 1: but he's also a point star. I mean, you can't

1346
01:09:44,080 --> 01:09:49,599
Speaker 1: not be a port. So can you do something like

1347
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:53,200
Speaker 1: almost like therapy, like talking, like counseling type of things

1348
01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:56,840
Speaker 1: like that? Do we not? Him and I together We

1349
01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:00,080
Speaker 1: coach couples and I coach couple solo as well, And

1350
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:03,519
Speaker 1: it's mainly talk based, just like any other form of therapy,

1351
01:10:03,560 --> 01:10:07,320
Speaker 1: but it's really focused on sexuality. But what it was

1352
01:10:07,400 --> 01:10:10,320
Speaker 1: interesting is that it always turns out to be more

1353
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:12,280
Speaker 1: than that. It's not even this about the sex. It's

1354
01:10:12,320 --> 01:10:16,280
Speaker 1: like your health. You know, people's health has a lot

1355
01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:18,920
Speaker 1: to do with where they are sexually and how they

1356
01:10:18,960 --> 01:10:25,439
Speaker 1: feel their libido. It's uh, environmental factors, sociological factors, it's

1357
01:10:25,479 --> 01:10:29,040
Speaker 1: all this stuff that incompass. When she said that the

1358
01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:31,439
Speaker 1: girl that wrote in about us bothering her. We'll give

1359
01:10:31,479 --> 01:10:36,800
Speaker 1: that read later. Okay, we don't have to read it whole. Anyways,

1360
01:10:36,840 --> 01:10:39,000
Speaker 1: I appreciate you so much for coming out. I feel

1361
01:10:39,040 --> 01:10:43,680
Speaker 1: like we'll be like bright and again we need you

1362
01:10:43,720 --> 01:10:45,080
Speaker 1: were late. I was like, oh my god, we're gonna

1363
01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:47,519
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hating her and now you're like, oh, we

1364
01:10:47,560 --> 01:10:50,800
Speaker 1: got to bring her back on and f I was like,

1365
01:10:50,960 --> 01:10:53,479
Speaker 1: I was just like, it's okay, CP. Time it happens.

1366
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:57,640
Speaker 1: It really asking you questions together. If we can do that,

1367
01:10:57,840 --> 01:11:00,080
Speaker 1: He goes in, Yeah, if we can get both here,

1368
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:03,920
Speaker 1: it'll show strength within a relationship like I've been in

1369
01:11:03,960 --> 01:11:07,000
Speaker 1: a nominalis relationship with well I used the word tryad

1370
01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:09,000
Speaker 1: but we didn't live together anything. But I think that

1371
01:11:09,040 --> 01:11:11,719
Speaker 1: people always think this thing is one sided, like one person.

1372
01:11:11,800 --> 01:11:13,719
Speaker 1: So I would love to. Yeah, we'll have to set

1373
01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:16,599
Speaker 1: it up again, maybe to get him in here, and

1374
01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:19,960
Speaker 1: especially just hearing from a man how he would allow

1375
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:22,040
Speaker 1: you to have other partners. We do have a lot

1376
01:11:22,080 --> 01:11:24,840
Speaker 1: of male listeners, and so to hear that, you know,

1377
01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:28,920
Speaker 1: let's go. Um. So, anyways, where can our listeners find you?

1378
01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:30,840
Speaker 1: I mean half of them already know who you is,

1379
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:35,720
Speaker 1: because that's how we found. I love your family, But

1380
01:11:35,760 --> 01:11:39,200
Speaker 1: where can they find you? On Twitter? Instagram? Um, your website? Yeah,

1381
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:41,799
Speaker 1: so my website is expert Tyomi dot com. The teas

1382
01:11:41,800 --> 01:11:44,240
Speaker 1: are separate, they don't share a tea. Um, you can

1383
01:11:44,280 --> 01:11:48,679
Speaker 1: find me on Twitter, Glamazon, Tyomi, Instagram, the Glamazon Tyomi.

1384
01:11:48,760 --> 01:11:51,639
Speaker 1: I have catfish pages, so make sure you put the front.

1385
01:11:52,640 --> 01:11:55,080
Speaker 1: You know you're big when you got catfish pages. It's crazy.

1386
01:11:55,840 --> 01:11:59,519
Speaker 1: Snapchack Glamazon Tyomi. If you want to see more like

1387
01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:04,679
Speaker 1: risk stuff can go in Yes, yes, Gamaz, glamor Rai, Glemazon,

1388
01:12:04,760 --> 01:12:07,320
Speaker 1: Tyomi dot tumbler dot com and you can easually just

1389
01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:09,559
Speaker 1: put Glemazon, tyomie and Google. We can found all this,

1390
01:12:09,760 --> 01:12:11,439
Speaker 1: all of this ship pop up. I'm telling you, I

1391
01:12:11,479 --> 01:12:13,839
Speaker 1: did my research. I was like, damn, she got YouTube

1392
01:12:13,920 --> 01:12:16,320
Speaker 1: videos like it's all on there. Um go check out

1393
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,840
Speaker 1: the writing video on YouTube. It's pretty dot com slag

1394
01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:22,759
Speaker 1: glamor Rotica one o one. There you go. Um and again,

1395
01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:26,639
Speaker 1: thank you so much for you've been You You got

1396
01:12:26,640 --> 01:12:30,680
Speaker 1: me feeling like where had my ineen? I wanted a relationship.

1397
01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:32,439
Speaker 1: Now I gotta think of how I wanted. We're not

1398
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:36,479
Speaker 1: not buying, like what is my purpose. You know, that's

1399
01:12:36,479 --> 01:12:38,559
Speaker 1: something that to find have on one to where I'm like,

1400
01:12:38,600 --> 01:12:41,760
Speaker 1: did we just quit our own show? No? Good, like

1401
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:49,040
Speaker 1: he didn't the toys like, oh yeah, girl, if you

1402
01:12:49,160 --> 01:12:51,200
Speaker 1: know stuff about if you know stuff about toys, maybe

1403
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:53,400
Speaker 1: we could do one with you as well. Yeah I didn't. Yeah,

1404
01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:56,280
Speaker 1: I got you. I got you. Girls that we haven't

1405
01:12:56,280 --> 01:12:57,960
Speaker 1: tested this yet. It just came mind you and people

1406
01:12:58,760 --> 01:13:01,760
Speaker 1: to talk about. Not yeah if they sent them for

1407
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:06,240
Speaker 1: us to yeah, um shoving our proceeds, So I guess again.

1408
01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:08,559
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming on. Guys, reach out to her.

1409
01:13:08,560 --> 01:13:10,519
Speaker 1: We're gonna put all of her information in the description

1410
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:13,439
Speaker 1: of this bio, and you could also find all of

1411
01:13:13,439 --> 01:13:15,879
Speaker 1: her information when we post her on the Horrible Decisions

1412
01:13:15,880 --> 01:13:19,759
Speaker 1: page that is at Horrible Underscore Decisions. You can follow

1413
01:13:19,800 --> 01:13:22,080
Speaker 1: me at full Court Pumps. You can follow this hole

1414
01:13:22,560 --> 01:13:25,280
Speaker 1: at we can see what the funk she's just not

1415
01:13:25,280 --> 01:13:29,360
Speaker 1: gonna say because she hates me. Thank you, guys. This

1416
01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:32,840
Speaker 1: has been yet another episode of Horrible Decisions. Bye bye,