Speaker 1: Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 1: Very excited about today's podcast because we're gonna have Jamie
Speaker 1: Bronstein on. She's a relationship coach, author, and speaker. Was
Speaker 1: named the number one relationship coach Transforming lives by Yahoo Finance.
Speaker 1: She's the host of Love Talk Live on LA Talk
Speaker 1: Radio and works with singles, couples, and people getting through
Speaker 1: breakups and divorces. In her private practice. She has a
Speaker 1: book right now out called Manifesting, A Step by step
Speaker 1: Guide Attracting the Love that has meant for You. So
Speaker 1: very excited to get her on and talk about all
Speaker 1: things to manifest that great Lovelli, Hi, how are you good?
Speaker 1: How are you good? Welcome to wind Down. Thank you
Speaker 1: so happy to be here your book. First of all,
Speaker 1: I just like the man Yeah, I just love it
Speaker 1: was like a manifesting. I was like that is I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's amazing love. That a step by step guide to
Speaker 1: attracting the love that is meant for you. I'm so
Speaker 1: excited to have you on because obviously finding love can
Speaker 1: be a struggle, right, but finding the right love is
Speaker 1: almost like like for me, it's like I I force
Speaker 1: so much love be like I forced relationships because I
Speaker 1: just wanted to feel love, but it was always the
Speaker 1: wrong kind of of love. And it's like to manifest
Speaker 1: like that good human can be hard because you also
Speaker 1: you're like I don't want to wait, Like how long
Speaker 1: do you have to wait for this? Like this fairytale
Speaker 1: man you know from from the movies, and so I'm
Speaker 1: curious like, yeah, actually if you don't know if he
Speaker 1: if he actually exists, and so that's why I wrote
Speaker 1: this to show that he actually does exist. Do you
Speaker 1: have the do you have? Did you manifest your man? Oh?
Speaker 1: I did? Yes, he's downstairs. We've been he works her home.
Speaker 1: We've been worked. We've been working. We've been it's also working.
Speaker 1: It's worked too. Yeah, we have a child. We've been
Speaker 1: married for almost nine years. Wow. Oh so yeah. So
Speaker 1: question like the manifesting, like where did this come from
Speaker 1: for you? Like what was the kind of like moment
Speaker 1: where were like I need to write this book. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So my book Manifesting is the book that I wish
Speaker 1: I had when I was manifesting my husband. I managed
Speaker 1: to manifest him, just somehow. I didn't meet him till
Speaker 1: I was thirty four years old, which is definitely not old. However,
Speaker 1: I feel like I was in a very long journey.
Speaker 1: I'm a romantic. I was born for love, so for me,
Speaker 1: I was born to meet my husband. So I really
Speaker 1: feel like my studies in psychology, my twenty years of
Speaker 1: experience as a therapist, and also my three years of
Speaker 1: studying spiritual psychology, it was and then my all of
Speaker 1: my experience dating I mean, my husband. It was just
Speaker 1: I have all this inside that I wanted to share
Speaker 1: with the world. I wanted to inspire people to know
Speaker 1: that your man does exist. Because everybody has a soulmate.
Speaker 1: It's everybody's birthright to have a soulmate. So I had
Speaker 1: a message. I have a message to share, and I
Speaker 1: wanted to share it with more than just my clients.
Speaker 1: I love that you said the soulmate word because I
Speaker 1: remember when I was married to my ex, I would say,
Speaker 1: am I your soulmate? And he's like, I don't believe
Speaker 1: in soulmates? And I remember that literally crushed me because
Speaker 1: I'm like, I like, I believe in soulmates. I believe
Speaker 1: that we have you know that we have a soulmate,
Speaker 1: and you know he was like, yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: think you can be one's soulmate for a season or
Speaker 1: you know, for a few years. And maybe that's true.
Speaker 1: I don't know. But for me, I'm like, no, like
Speaker 1: I have always been like there is one soulmate and
Speaker 1: like and I've always like and this is bad, but
Speaker 1: like that's where I just was, like I was just
Speaker 1: trying to find it and like it wasn't until I
Speaker 1: really sat alone and wrote down exactly what I wanted
Speaker 1: and wasn't going to settle for anything less than that
Speaker 1: was when I was able to, I guess manifest that love, right,
Speaker 1: and so but I it is. It's interesting and I'm curious,
Speaker 1: like what you would say to those people who are
Speaker 1: just like I'm never going to find love, because I
Speaker 1: get it. I remember when I got divorced, I was like,
Speaker 1: no one will ever love me. I'm unlovable and I'm
Speaker 1: I'm done, Like I it's it's done for me. There's
Speaker 1: so much in here, and I do want to get
Speaker 1: to the soulmate conversation. But I love what you're saying
Speaker 1: because this is what this is what I work with
Speaker 1: my clients on every day. My clients have these negative
Speaker 1: narratives that they are unworthy of law and they're not
Speaker 1: capable of law, they're not good enough. And so the
Speaker 1: work that I do and in this in my book,
Speaker 1: I helped them shift from that which is just false
Speaker 1: our ego. That's where it comes from, false and lies
Speaker 1: and just things that are not true, moving that into
Speaker 1: what is the truth. And it's also fear based thinking,
Speaker 1: So it's fears and lies moving into dropping from your
Speaker 1: head into your heart into what is the truth. It's
Speaker 1: also scarcity, it's lack. If it's not this guy worth,
Speaker 1: there's not gonna be another guys, all of those false
Speaker 1: fear based thinking. And I do something called compassionate self forgiveness,
Speaker 1: which is you identify what is that misbelief that you're
Speaker 1: buying into which you just said you're uncapable of love
Speaker 1: or you're not worthy of love, and then we shift
Speaker 1: into the truth. And it takes practice. It might not
Speaker 1: happen overnight, but these affirmations that you keep saying over
Speaker 1: and over again and you catch yourself. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: Like we have so many negative narratives running through our
Speaker 1: minds all day long. So it's kind of like I
Speaker 1: would say, it's like going to AA. You have to
Speaker 1: acknowledge there's a problem. First, Once you start being aware
Speaker 1: of these negative thoughts, that's how you change them into
Speaker 1: the truth. It's not even like changing from negative depositive.
Speaker 1: It's changing the negative, the fear, into the truth that
Speaker 1: everybody is worthy of love, don't you? Or for me,
Speaker 1: I would say mine come from childhood stuff like all
Speaker 1: at all for me goes back to like, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: why do I feel that I don't deserve this? And
Speaker 1: that was something that I had like a you know,
Speaker 1: in therapy we talked about like I didn't I feel
Speaker 1: like I deserved it, but like why So then it's
Speaker 1: like then you go back to, like, oh, because when
Speaker 1: I was this age, I felt like I wasn't deserving
Speaker 1: or that I wasn't good enough to get it or
Speaker 1: it wasn't good enough. And so I think, you know
Speaker 1: that plays a part into relational stuff. Do you feel
Speaker 1: that as well? Or yeah? Absolutely? And so I've identified
Speaker 1: seven different dating personas in my book, and they all
Speaker 1: are fear and they all stem from whether it's an
Speaker 1: X something a parent said to you, something a friend
Speaker 1: said to you in your childhood. For instance, there's the chameleon,
Speaker 1: there's the repeater, there's the fault finder, and they all
Speaker 1: go back to these unresolved issues that came from somewhere.
Speaker 1: And my whole goal with the work that I do
Speaker 1: is I help people get back to their essential nature,
Speaker 1: their soul, who they were before life and difficult relationships
Speaker 1: and experiences got in the way, because all of that
Speaker 1: is a facade. But who we truly are is our truth,
Speaker 1: and this isn't I feel like a lot of people
Speaker 1: talk about this stuff. It's very buzzy buzzworthy, it's very
Speaker 1: currents and people are doing tiktoks and everything. But I've studied,
Speaker 1: I've studied this stuff, and this stuff is real. And
Speaker 1: the gift that people can give themselves when they resolve
Speaker 1: their unresolved issues from their childhood, when they can be
Speaker 1: from their past, when they don't identify as a victim
Speaker 1: anymore of their past, when they see that life happens
Speaker 1: for us, not to us, for us, everything happens for
Speaker 1: our growth and upliftment and for ust to get closer
Speaker 1: to ourselves, then it's that gift because then you're free
Speaker 1: from your past and you actually can manifest that which
Speaker 1: is meant for you. What about the soulmate stuff though, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I love that you're bringing this up. So I
Speaker 1: did an event at Unplugged a few weeks ago in
Speaker 1: LA and we did a meditation, I talked about my book,
Speaker 1: and then before we did the book signing, there was
Speaker 1: a Q and a human is my favorite part always ever,
Speaker 1: so love the U and I and I love it,
Speaker 1: especially because I'm in the hot seat. I don't know
Speaker 1: what questions are going to be asked, and I didn't
Speaker 1: know what questions we're going to ask. So one of
Speaker 1: the women asked, do I believe that we have more
Speaker 1: than one soul mate? Which is what? Yeah, I had
Speaker 1: no preparation. I didn't need preparation. However, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: so used to talking about the things that I'm that
Speaker 1: I'm always talking about, and that is a question that, really,
Speaker 1: surprisingly enough, doesn't come up a lot. And so the
Speaker 1: first thing that just came to me, from wherever it
Speaker 1: came from, was I said, you know what, there are
Speaker 1: widows in this world. There are people that we're so
Speaker 1: in love and somebody died, So how do you explain
Speaker 1: that in terms of were they soul mates? And so
Speaker 1: that's where I started from, because even though I personally
Speaker 1: like I think we're on the same page. I believe that, yeah,
Speaker 1: there might be a few people that we could mesh
Speaker 1: with and work well together with and have fun. I
Speaker 1: personally believe that there is one person. So I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm not God, you know, I don't know all the
Speaker 1: answers in terms of what happens when your soulmate dies,
Speaker 1: I don't know. But what I do believe, so I'm
Speaker 1: I'm Jewish, and in the Jewish religion, we believe in
Speaker 1: something called but share it be shared, And the story
Speaker 1: is that when you are up there and the cougels
Speaker 1: in the universe, when you're a soul before you come here,
Speaker 1: you're attached by your back to your soulmates. You come
Speaker 1: to this earth and you find each other. And I
Speaker 1: love that. I believe that. So I don't I'm not
Speaker 1: a Rabbi and I'm not God, so I don't know
Speaker 1: the answer, But in my heart I do feel that
Speaker 1: is that I agree with you, there is that one
Speaker 1: person that is the best match for us. Well, what
Speaker 1: do you say, though, are the girl that's like either
Speaker 1: just gotten divorced or the girl that you know is
Speaker 1: has been trying to find her person and her partner
Speaker 1: and or they just went through a breakup or like
Speaker 1: that they just kind of lost hope, Like what, because
Speaker 1: I mean, like, I know what I would say, but
Speaker 1: I also am am on the other side of it
Speaker 1: now and so it's real hard to speak truth into
Speaker 1: like when it, you know, during the destruction of it. First,
Speaker 1: I would say, read my book, not because not because
Speaker 1: I'm a sales person. I authentically wrote this book to
Speaker 1: change to people's lives, for women to wake up, for
Speaker 1: them to have Aha moments, for them to know things
Speaker 1: that they don't know yet. So I would say that
Speaker 1: the truth is that their man is out there. And
Speaker 1: here's a cool statistic. So eighty percent of people that
Speaker 1: want to get married, we'll get married. And this is
Speaker 1: with your soulmate. This isn't just married to get married.
Speaker 1: Eighty percent of people will get married. Okay, twenty percents.
Speaker 1: And I say this to all my gunds. The twenty
Speaker 1: percent that don't are people that are the repeater one
Speaker 1: of my dating personas they do the same thing over
Speaker 1: and over and they never own up. They never look inside.
Speaker 1: It's always the guy's fault, always a person's fault, and
Speaker 1: they never do that work to change anything up in
Speaker 1: what they're doing, keep choosing the same guy over and over,
Speaker 1: and then the other let's say ten percent, would be
Speaker 1: people that have some sort of crazy, like not crazy,
Speaker 1: but like major mental disorder, their associopathy. They can't relate
Speaker 1: to other humans. So the great news is that if
Speaker 1: you're if you're well functioning, highly functioning, just do some
Speaker 1: work and you will meet your person. But there are
Speaker 1: so many people that just like I said that, they're
Speaker 1: blaming and victim and the universe gives us what we
Speaker 1: focus on. So if you are constantly feeling bad for
Speaker 1: yourself and you're in those low vibrations and you're in
Speaker 1: the past, the universe is going to keep on giving
Speaker 1: you experiences and people that will just validate that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's such a good point. I feel like there's so
Speaker 1: many people too that have said to me, like, I
Speaker 1: can't believe after how many times you've been hurt, like
Speaker 1: you still you still believe in love and you still
Speaker 1: put yourself out there. And I'm like, well, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to sit around and just be like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: just this. I've gotten hurt so many times and I'm done.
Speaker 1: It's like that that that's not the kind of life
Speaker 1: I want to live either, and it's like I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want that to be my story, right, So
Speaker 1: it's like, yes, I've been hurt badly, but I also
Speaker 1: still believe in it, right because if not, then what
Speaker 1: do I'm just gonna stay miserable and just be like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna open my heart back up because I
Speaker 1: got hurt. It's like, yeah, I did, and I might
Speaker 1: get hurt again, but like you know, I'm going to
Speaker 1: learn some things along the way. But I just the
Speaker 1: people that and it breaks my heart with people that say, well,
Speaker 1: I just don't think I'll ever trust again, Well, you
Speaker 1: you won't if you don't do it again. If you
Speaker 1: don't try, and you might. You might get burned again,
Speaker 1: like you might. You totally might, and it might happen
Speaker 1: to me again. But I'm going to learn something with
Speaker 1: this one. And it's gonna it's gonna soul. You're gonna
Speaker 1: you're gonna pick better once you start to heal inside too.
Speaker 1: It's kind of what I've always said, Yes, and it's
Speaker 1: so important for you in the whole world, all of us,
Speaker 1: that we are very aware of this fear. If you
Speaker 1: so the universe like I said, the universe is this
Speaker 1: what we focus on. So if you are fearful that
Speaker 1: it the guy's going to cheat, whatever it is it's
Speaker 1: going to happen again, or you're not gonna be treated
Speaker 1: well or whatever that is, if you are fearful of that,
Speaker 1: it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. Unfortunately. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: wonderful news is that we have We don't have a
Speaker 1: lot of control in life, but we do have control
Speaker 1: over these shifts. So once again, it's get aware. Once
Speaker 1: you start feeling that or thinking or feeling that fear,
Speaker 1: you need to go into trusting mode. I trust, I trust,
Speaker 1: I trust And also visualizing that's another chapter in my book.
Speaker 1: Visualizing mode starts seeing this happy ending, starts seeing what
Speaker 1: would it feel like for this man to be in
Speaker 1: your life who loves you unconditionally? Would that feel like?
Speaker 1: And living as if because if you are walking around
Speaker 1: with the fear that whatever it is is going to happen,
Speaker 1: it will. And another thing is that you're when you
Speaker 1: were talking, I was just thinking love is a risk.
Speaker 1: Love is a risk. However, love is why we live,
Speaker 1: that is why we are on this earth. There's either
Speaker 1: fear or love in this life and we are here
Speaker 1: to love and it's the most wonderful feeling in the world.
Speaker 1: So I love that you got back on the You
Speaker 1: didn't give up. Yeah, because you knew, you know that
Speaker 1: there's some there's that right man dustin for you, and
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're in a relationship. Yeah, I'm very happy.
Speaker 1: Having said that, it's interesting because I have done what
Speaker 1: you just said, like drop the if. But I think
Speaker 1: it's my protection mode where I go, well, if it
Speaker 1: doesn't work out, I'll be okay. That's just the truth.
Speaker 1: Like if it doesn't, I know now, like I will
Speaker 1: be okay regardless if I if I'm married this man,
Speaker 1: or I don't repect or if this happens, like I
Speaker 1: have come to terms and I've come to love you know,
Speaker 1: myself enough to not stay in something that's unhealthy and
Speaker 1: to I'm I know that I will be okay and
Speaker 1: that I will be loved. Having said that, I almost
Speaker 1: think that if is like I have my thoughts and
Speaker 1: feelings of what I think this relationships ship is, but
Speaker 1: I think there's a piece of me that still protects,
Speaker 1: like the guarded piece, like, well, if it doesn't work out,
Speaker 1: like I'll be okay. So it is it bad to
Speaker 1: have that and then also believe too, it's actually see
Speaker 1: what you're saying is actually really helpful, okay, because it
Speaker 1: is helpful to say that I will be okay if
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out, because in spirituality, that's actually neutrality,
Speaker 1: that's having no attachment to the outcome, and that is
Speaker 1: a wonderful place to be. It's not something you want
Speaker 1: to be thinking every day. Sure, no no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, because you would actually manifest that, right, meaning
Speaker 1: like it might not work out and you will be
Speaker 1: I don't Yeah, I definitely don't say like, oh might
Speaker 1: I work out? Like in my mind, I know what
Speaker 1: I'm manifesting and what like we're manifesting. But I also
Speaker 1: know that it's like, Okay, I've been down this road
Speaker 1: a time or two, and like I have been hurt,
Speaker 1: so like, regardless, I will be okay. By the way,
Speaker 1: that line is from Blossed The Broken Road, and I
Speaker 1: sang that at mine and my House's wedding, which one
Speaker 1: I've been down the road at time or two? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm brown pushing. Yeah. Yeah, that's literally the longest saying
Speaker 1: in her wedding. Oh okay. So yes, it's not something
Speaker 1: I want to think about every day, but it's something
Speaker 1: that you know that you will be okay. But also
Speaker 1: I would just add to that, in addition being present,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm being present in this moment and I'm
Speaker 1: enjoying the relationship sure, because that's so important. Also instead
Speaker 1: of because fear and anxiety is fear, it's future, depression
Speaker 1: is the past. So it's like such a fine Sometimes
Speaker 1: spirituality can be such a fine line of yes, of
Speaker 1: course I'll be okay, I'll be more than okay. If
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out, just won't be meant to be right.
Speaker 1: But it's really not something that it's just something to
Speaker 1: be like in your consciousness, but really not thinking all
Speaker 1: the time. What you really should be focusing on always
Speaker 1: and everybody should be focusing on this is being in
Speaker 1: that present moment, enjoying because we don't know what I mean,
Speaker 1: we don't know what tomorrow means with people's health and
Speaker 1: with with anything. So that's and once again, very busy,
Speaker 1: very crochet, almost now be present, be present, be present.
Speaker 1: But the reason from a biological and scientific reason and
Speaker 1: spiritual why we're supposed to be present, because our brain
Speaker 1: doesn't know the difference between the past and the future
Speaker 1: and the present. So if we are living in the
Speaker 1: past or living in the future in our brain, that's
Speaker 1: why the brain is going to think that we're actually
Speaker 1: there and will manifest more of that. So being present,
Speaker 1: being in your joy is the best place to be.
Speaker 1: What do you think is the biggest mistake that people
Speaker 1: make in manifesting and then also in just general with dating.
Speaker 1: I think the biggest mistake is what we're talking about.
Speaker 1: People think that they are focused on this is what
Speaker 1: I want, this is what I want. I need to
Speaker 1: find my man. I'm intentional about it, But what they're
Speaker 1: actually focused on the fear is that the fear that
Speaker 1: it's not going to happen, So it's getting aware of that.
Speaker 1: I would say that's the biggest mistake. And I talk
Speaker 1: about missing pieces in my book and the missing piece
Speaker 1: between you and your guy, and one of the missing
Speaker 1: pieces is is that another one is doing the same
Speaker 1: thing over and over without looking at what's going on,
Speaker 1: which we talked about unresolved issues and not being enough
Speaker 1: in touch with your intuition. So you're basing choices off
Speaker 1: of fear or you're basing choices off of your past,
Speaker 1: your basing choices off of what your best friend would do,
Speaker 1: and you're just not in touch with this is a
Speaker 1: sacred yes, is a sacred no. This is a yes
Speaker 1: or no, right. So I think those are the problems
Speaker 1: with man fasting that I fix in my book. And
Speaker 1: you also you said talk about you have dating personas too,
Speaker 1: So those are the pieces that the twenty percent of
Speaker 1: things that people. So there's how many dating personas do
Speaker 1: you have in your book? There's seven dating personas. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to read this book. Okay, yes, And
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm glad that you said that, because
Speaker 1: even though one is in a relationship, so you're in
Speaker 1: a relationship this book. First of all, you can apply
Speaker 1: these manifesting concepts to anything in life, manting a job,
Speaker 1: manifesting house, anything, But even when you're in a relationship,
Speaker 1: they're like talking about intuition, you know, always trusting yourself
Speaker 1: within the relationship. There are so many concepts that will
Speaker 1: help you even when you're in the relationship. For sure,
Speaker 1: honoring yourself. So you're, oh, you're the dating brissonas, so
Speaker 1: you want to know just a few others. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I would love to know a few others. Okay, So
Speaker 1: we went over to the chameleon, the repeater, the fault finder.
Speaker 1: There's the settler, like we talked about right at the beginning.
Speaker 1: Yet there's the unavailable man magnets. There's the I call
Speaker 1: her the misbeliever, like misbelieving something, the one that does
Speaker 1: not believe it's going to happen. And that's about five.
Speaker 1: We'll we'll leave the rest for I mean, I've already
Speaker 1: hit five of those in the past. So I'm glad
Speaker 1: that you're bringing up. I'm glad you're bringing that up,
Speaker 1: because these are different than love languages or I just
Speaker 1: learned about lost languages recently. It's different than the nineogram.
Speaker 1: It's different than a personality task or one of those
Speaker 1: things where you where you're just one or one or two.
Speaker 1: These the reason why it's important to read the whole
Speaker 1: book and I just go to the chapter that you
Speaker 1: think you are is because most of us have experienced
Speaker 1: most of these dating persons. So it's looking at all
Speaker 1: of these different fear based things from different angles and
Speaker 1: really getting a grasp on Wow, I had no idea
Speaker 1: that this was going on, yeah, or like not wanting
Speaker 1: to fall back in the trap of it too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: exactly if you're or if you've already manifested, exactly how
Speaker 1: do you stay how do you stay in that present mode,
Speaker 1: in that in that trusting mode. Oh I love it. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm very excited. Um, manifesting is a step by step
Speaker 1: guy to attracting the love that is meant for you. Um.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much Jamie for coming on. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to. I'm going to put this in
Speaker 1: my in my cart right now on Amazon because I
Speaker 1: just think it's good to always, you know, just be
Speaker 1: aware and again for me, like you can use this
Speaker 1: too with manifesting, Yeah, other things as well, like work
Speaker 1: and you know, just life in general things. So absolutely,
Speaker 1: and thank you so much for having me. And I
Speaker 1: want to add I'm going to I'm gonna send you
Speaker 1: a link to a free gift which is a PDF
Speaker 1: of seven day is a manifesting love. Um, so I'll
Speaker 1: send that on to you. Awesome. And then where can
Speaker 1: our listeners find you? Yeah? So my website is the
Speaker 1: relationship expert dot com, so easy, straightforward. My Instagram is
Speaker 1: at the Relationship Expert. There's no e at the beginning
Speaker 1: of expert at the Relationship Letter x P e RT
Speaker 1: and my book is available Amazon, Simon and Schustar, Barnes
Speaker 1: and Noble. You can go to manifestorperson dot com to
Speaker 1: read about it as well. Awesome, Well, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for coming on wind Down. Appreciate you, Thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Okay, bye, honey, righte