1
00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:04,000
Speaker 1: It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you

2
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,960
Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please

3
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,560
Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com by

4
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:16,160
Speaker 1: clicking submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, and we could be reading

5
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,040
Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're going

6
00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:20,319
Speaker 1: to read this one right here, right now, and you

7
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,880
Speaker 1: never know, it could be yours. You never know. Buckle

8
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,000
Speaker 1: up and hold on tight. We got it for you here.

9
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:29,200
Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you. Nephew's subject the

10
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:34,000
Speaker 1: men in my fiance's family. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm engaged

11
00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,960
Speaker 1: to a man that is eleven years my junior. I'm

12
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,760
Speaker 1: forty two years old, and he jokes that his father

13
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,840
Speaker 1: is only six years older than I am. It's odd

14
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,639
Speaker 1: that I was attracted to him because I met him

15
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:49,120
Speaker 1: with his dad and his dad was laying it on thick.

16
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,400
Speaker 1: I was john to my fiance because he was cool

17
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:56,400
Speaker 1: and laid back. I am very close to my fiance's mother,

18
00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:00,200
Speaker 1: and she has two sons by her husband. When we're

19
00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:03,760
Speaker 1: all together, my fiance and his two younger brothers were

20
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,920
Speaker 1: a big, happy family. When his dad joins into the

21
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:11,759
Speaker 1: mix drama occurs. He and my fiance's mother have been

22
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,959
Speaker 1: at odds for years because he didn't want to be

23
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,960
Speaker 1: with her, simple as that they had my fiance when

24
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,399
Speaker 1: they were in high school and broke up when my

25
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,639
Speaker 1: fiance was ten years old. Hey, stuff happens, but now

26
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,560
Speaker 1: he wants that old thing back and she's not having it.

27
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,959
Speaker 1: My background is in counseling, so I try to mediate

28
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:37,120
Speaker 1: their arguments, but they get pretty bad. Over the weekend,

29
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,240
Speaker 1: we all got together for my future mother in law's

30
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:44,360
Speaker 1: sons graduation, and I don't know why my fiance's dad

31
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:48,680
Speaker 1: showed up, but he did. Her husband stepped to him

32
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,960
Speaker 1: and said it's not his son, and he appreciates, appreciated

33
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,520
Speaker 1: the graduation gift, but he isn't part of the family

34
00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:00,240
Speaker 1: and should stop popping up. They had words and it

35
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,280
Speaker 1: got loud, and my fiance's dad told the husband that

36
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,920
Speaker 1: he was going to get his girl back no matter what.

37
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,840
Speaker 1: I recorded the altercation on my phone because I was

38
00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:15,360
Speaker 1: recording the graduation. I gave the video to my future

39
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,320
Speaker 1: mother in law and she used the video to get

40
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:22,560
Speaker 1: a restraining order on my fiance's father, saying he's a threat.

41
00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:26,760
Speaker 1: My fiance and his dad are furious with me. I

42
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,639
Speaker 1: did not intend for this to happen. All I did

43
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:32,640
Speaker 1: was share the video. How is this my fault and

44
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:39,840
Speaker 1: how do I fix it? Wow? Oh, well, it isn't

45
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,400
Speaker 1: your fault. I agree with you and don't take the

46
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,520
Speaker 1: blame for this. This is his dad's fault. Period. You

47
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,919
Speaker 1: did nothing wrong. Like you said, you were already filming

48
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:53,720
Speaker 1: the graduation. Who knew your fiance's dad was coming and

49
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,960
Speaker 1: was going to act a fool and something was gonna

50
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,880
Speaker 1: jump off like this It would have been on tape anyway.

51
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,440
Speaker 1: I am concerned because his dad has a nerve to

52
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,880
Speaker 1: be mad at you for his bad behavior. He wasn't

53
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,800
Speaker 1: invited to the graduation, and you said every time he

54
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:12,160
Speaker 1: comes around the family, it's a problem. Some drama occurs.

55
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,160
Speaker 1: Not only that he's disrespecting the husband in his face

56
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,160
Speaker 1: by saying he's trying to get his girl back. It's

57
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,880
Speaker 1: not his girl. Remember, he didn't want her, according to you,

58
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,360
Speaker 1: so she moved on and got married, and now he

59
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,040
Speaker 1: can't handle it. I know he's mad that his son

60
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,240
Speaker 1: got you over him, and he missed out on you too,

61
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:36,000
Speaker 1: So his son, your fiance is in an awkward position. Now.

62
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:40,160
Speaker 1: He probably feels torn, feels guilty for being with you,

63
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,760
Speaker 1: knowing his dad was trying so hard to get you,

64
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,400
Speaker 1: and his dad has guilted him into being on his side.

65
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,560
Speaker 1: This is a mess. Both the son and his father

66
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,200
Speaker 1: are mad at you. The son is your fiance. What

67
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,400
Speaker 1: do you do? I don't really know. Try to talk

68
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:58,280
Speaker 1: to your fiance or something like that. I don't know

69
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:01,600
Speaker 1: if it's gonna help, because, uh, it seems right now

70
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,440
Speaker 1: that his loyalty is to his dad. Maybe he'll get

71
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,160
Speaker 1: over it when it simmers down a little bit, But

72
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:13,200
Speaker 1: I don't know, because this really really is a mess. Steve. Well,

73
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,919
Speaker 1: you know, I see a lot of problems in this letter,

74
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,840
Speaker 1: and I'm as I read this letter, I'm gonna point

75
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:24,800
Speaker 1: out to you what I think are the real problems. Okay,

76
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:29,520
Speaker 1: this woman says, I'm engaged to a man that's eleven

77
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:36,760
Speaker 1: years my junior. He's forty two. That makes her fifty three. No,

78
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:41,200
Speaker 1: she's forty two. She's forty two. So this dude is

79
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:48,120
Speaker 1: what thirty one one, thirty one and eight and her daddy,

80
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:55,520
Speaker 1: the daddy is forty eight. Okay, now here's here's the problem.

81
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,680
Speaker 1: You're engaged to this man that's eleven years your junior

82
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,279
Speaker 1: and you at forty two, and his father is six

83
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:05,359
Speaker 1: years old and nine, which makes him forty eight. It's odd.

84
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:09,160
Speaker 1: Here's the letter. It's odd that I was attracted to

85
00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:12,760
Speaker 1: him because I met him with his dad and his

86
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:18,279
Speaker 1: dad was laying it on thick. Here's your problem. Here's

87
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:23,120
Speaker 1: one of the problems. Did daddy was laying it on

88
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:29,520
Speaker 1: thick when he met you? You are attracted to the boy,

89
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:37,719
Speaker 1: See Na, Na, We got the problem. Then you said

90
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,360
Speaker 1: I was drawn to my fiance because he was cool

91
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:44,280
Speaker 1: and laid back. I'm very close to my fiance's mother.

92
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,440
Speaker 1: See this story just takes a big jump. Now, she's

93
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,520
Speaker 1: very close to the fiance's mother, and she's got two

94
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:54,679
Speaker 1: sons by her husband. When we all together, my fiance

95
00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:57,240
Speaker 1: and his two younger brothers, we're a big, happy family.

96
00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,240
Speaker 1: When the dad joins into the mixed draw, I'm an

97
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:04,919
Speaker 1: occurge here. My fiance's mother have been at odd for

98
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,200
Speaker 1: years because he didn't want to be with her. Simple

99
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,760
Speaker 1: as that they had my fiance when they were in

100
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:13,120
Speaker 1: high school and broke up, and when my fiance was

101
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:17,760
Speaker 1: ten years old. Broke up. When my fiance was te

102
00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:21,440
Speaker 1: years old. Hey, stuff happens, but now he wants that

103
00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:25,599
Speaker 1: old thing back and he's not having it. Here's your problem.

104
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,719
Speaker 1: My background is in counseling, so I try to mediate

105
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,240
Speaker 1: their arguments, but they get pretty bad. Over the weekend.

106
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,159
Speaker 1: They're go your other damn problem right there, You trying

107
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,240
Speaker 1: to counsel people. When I come back, I'm gonna tell

108
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,599
Speaker 1: you all about your little counseling escapade here. Why don't

109
00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:43,080
Speaker 1: ask me to get out of counseling. Hang on, Steve,

110
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,479
Speaker 1: we'll have part two of your response coming up at

111
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,160
Speaker 1: twenty three minutes to havel to be our today's Strawberry

112
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,479
Speaker 1: Letters subjects of men and my fiance family. We'll get

113
00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:57,360
Speaker 1: back into it right after this. You're listening, all right,

114
00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,320
Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. Men and

115
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:04,880
Speaker 1: my fiance's family is the subject. This lady forty two

116
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,360
Speaker 1: years old and fiance is thirty one. He joked that

117
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,920
Speaker 1: she six years closer to her daddy age. He fought

118
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,320
Speaker 1: that they met together. He hit on her, He hit

119
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,760
Speaker 1: the daddy hit on her. She liked the boy better,

120
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:22,000
Speaker 1: you know, so nine they together, fast forward, they got

121
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,480
Speaker 1: she got a great relationship with her fiance's mother. She

122
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,400
Speaker 1: got two sons from another manage. They had her fiance

123
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,520
Speaker 1: when he was ten, they was in high school. Blah

124
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:32,560
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah bla. That don't even matter.

125
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:36,160
Speaker 1: Here on your damn problem right here. First of all,

126
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,360
Speaker 1: the daddy hit on you when y'all first met. It

127
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:46,040
Speaker 1: didn't work out. Second problem is my background is in counseling,

128
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,880
Speaker 1: so I try to mediate they arguments, but they get

129
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:55,200
Speaker 1: pretty bad. Now, how are you gonna mediate they arguments

130
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:59,120
Speaker 1: when he was hitting on you? How does that work

131
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,680
Speaker 1: when everything he do is gonna be a flex move

132
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:06,120
Speaker 1: in front of you? And how you mediating the old

133
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,880
Speaker 1: ass people arguments? You know how old people are arguing?

134
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,640
Speaker 1: Now you all in the middle of that. You shut up,

135
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,080
Speaker 1: you shut up. I ain't got a shut up, ain't

136
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,280
Speaker 1: got shut up. I don't want to whether you need

137
00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:25,240
Speaker 1: to get the walking to the argument? Have I ever

138
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:31,720
Speaker 1: shut up before? See that? Damn how you counsel that? All? Right? Now,

139
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:36,520
Speaker 1: let's move on. Here's a problem. Uh. We all got

140
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:40,640
Speaker 1: together from my future mother in law's sons graduation. See,

141
00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,839
Speaker 1: it's just too many people see you, you and your

142
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:47,200
Speaker 1: counseling efforts. You're trying to sow too many people together.

143
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,079
Speaker 1: All you really need to be worried about is you

144
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,360
Speaker 1: and your fiance. But now, no, no, you all offering

145
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:58,880
Speaker 1: the fiance business, the fiance mama business, the ex husband's business.

146
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,720
Speaker 1: If you were just focused on you and your fiance.

147
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:06,600
Speaker 1: But oh no, you super counselor you know what your school,

148
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,520
Speaker 1: you to your last down and they got that degree.

149
00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,360
Speaker 1: You think you really think that degree is for this him?

150
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:18,440
Speaker 1: That's what you think? Now what now one of these

151
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,000
Speaker 1: situations a case. But when you were getting a little

152
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:24,680
Speaker 1: damn counseling degree, you didn't run into this old black

153
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,160
Speaker 1: people case that he did. You this anew So now

154
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:32,080
Speaker 1: you sit up in the hill and you at your

155
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,360
Speaker 1: future mother in law's sons graduation. I don't know why

156
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:39,839
Speaker 1: my fiance's dad showed up, but he did. Her husband

157
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,720
Speaker 1: stepped to him and said, it's not his son, and

158
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,920
Speaker 1: he appreciated the graduation guilt, but he ain't part of

159
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,040
Speaker 1: the family. He all just stopped popping off because it

160
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:52,160
Speaker 1: ain't your son. Don't why you hill. They had words

161
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:55,640
Speaker 1: and they got loud. My fiance's dad finally told her

162
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,439
Speaker 1: husband he gonna get his girl back, no matter what,

163
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,200
Speaker 1: I whipped his ass after graduation. Now, now guess what

164
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:08,240
Speaker 1: the counselor did. I recorded the altercation on my phone

165
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:13,040
Speaker 1: because I was recording the graduation. Yeah, girl, you could

166
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,839
Speaker 1: have stopped you. You was recording the graduation. Why did

167
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:20,439
Speaker 1: you turn the camera on the altercation? So then I

168
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,080
Speaker 1: gave the video to my future mother in law, you know,

169
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,520
Speaker 1: because you did say y'all close, And she used the

170
00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:30,120
Speaker 1: video to get a restraint in order on my fiance

171
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:36,400
Speaker 1: his father, saying that he's a threat. My fiance and

172
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:40,720
Speaker 1: his dad are furious with me. I did not intend

173
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:44,040
Speaker 1: for this to happen. All idea would share the video?

174
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:50,199
Speaker 1: Why because you counseling. You taking pictures of the counseling.

175
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:52,760
Speaker 1: You gonna marry the boy? You trying to stay in

176
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:56,480
Speaker 1: good with the mother. That's all idea would share the video.

177
00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:02,520
Speaker 1: You're forty two the video Now she used it as evidence.

178
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,079
Speaker 1: How is this my fault and how do I fix it?

179
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,600
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, hold on counseling. You said, how is

180
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,360
Speaker 1: this my fault? And how do I fix it? If

181
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,960
Speaker 1: it wasn't your fault, you wouldn't be trying to fix it.

182
00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:20,360
Speaker 1: So how's this fault because you and other people's business.

183
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:25,600
Speaker 1: Come on, because you're so damn busy being in other

184
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:30,040
Speaker 1: people's business instead of the business of gathering the future

185
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,360
Speaker 1: with that little boy you got now him and his

186
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:37,600
Speaker 1: daddy man at your ad because you don't they don't

187
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,400
Speaker 1: broke the cardinal rule in the black family, you do

188
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:45,120
Speaker 1: not call the damn police. I don't care what we

189
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:49,840
Speaker 1: do at this house. You're gonna call the police and

190
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:54,600
Speaker 1: got a restrain in order on this dude. But now

191
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,320
Speaker 1: he comfortable enough to come to your son's graduation with

192
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,240
Speaker 1: your husband and tell your husband he gonna get you back?

193
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,280
Speaker 1: How to end it this test day? You finna get

194
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,559
Speaker 1: who back though, Now I'm gonna show you what you

195
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,920
Speaker 1: finn to get. But no, no, no, no no, you're

196
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,360
Speaker 1: finn to get back. But you ain't finna get her back.

197
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,719
Speaker 1: You don't want to be fighting at the graduation. She

198
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:22,000
Speaker 1: recorded it because she messy. Now, how is this my fault?

199
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000
Speaker 1: And how do I fix it? Yeah? I don't care

200
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,960
Speaker 1: how you fix it. Stay out of folk business. You

201
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:32,440
Speaker 1: ain't the counselor you thought you was. You are college

202
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:39,440
Speaker 1: graduate counselor. You can't counsel real situation. You have to

203
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:44,560
Speaker 1: do the stuff that's in them books. Now, this man

204
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,440
Speaker 1: wan't his woman back, that ain't his woman? And now

205
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,960
Speaker 1: you where was that at the school? Did they teach

206
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:55,240
Speaker 1: you that? All right? Thank you? Please leave your comments

207
00:12:55,320 --> 00:13:00,520
Speaker 1: on Today's letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey them and

208
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:05,000
Speaker 1: please check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Okay, now,

209
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,680
Speaker 1: coming up next, it is Junior with sports talk coming

210
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:12,480
Speaker 1: up right after this. You're listening to this Dave Harvey

211
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:13,120
Speaker 1: Morning Show.