WEBVTT - Elaine Welteroth On 'The Conversations Project', Maternal Mortality Crisis + More 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:05.440 Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club Morning. 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:08.760 Everybody is DJ Envy Charlamagne the guy. We are the 0:00:08.800 --> 0:00:10.639 Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:13.000 this morning. Yes, indeed we have Miss Elaine well to 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.120 Roth Welcome, Hi guys this morning. 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:16.720 I'm good. 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:17.800 How are you good? 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:19.200 Goods Black and Holly favorite. 0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:20.680 I love it. 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:23.599 I'm just really taking in this whole chair, the throne 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:25.640 that you're sitting, that the two of you are sitting on. 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:28.360 Met I didn't get a throne. Where's my throne? 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:29.040 We got it. 0:00:29.200 --> 0:00:31.120 We're thinking of something for the guests in twenty twenty 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:33.080 four to make them because we're all regal, right, but 0:00:33.280 --> 0:00:35.440 this is really just for television, right ron. 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:37.680 BT and for the Internet and stuff like that. 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:40.240 And then when we add the new third person, they'll 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:41.519 have a thron So we're gonna have a whole watch 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:42.440 the Throne campaign. 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:44.280 Okay, but we have to figure it out because the 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:46.320 thrones will be too high to block the cameras, which 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:48.920 you didn't think about beforehand, so it's gonna be a 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:50.800 cluster f You're gonna figure it out. 0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:54.240 Get came. 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:56.640 So now you're here for a conversation project. 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:58.800 Yeah, Stations Project. 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:00.560 Yep, Now what is the Conversation Project? 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:04.760 So the Conversations Project, which is on Hulu is basically 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:07.800 so it's inspired by the Harlem Renaissance Salon. It's like, 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:11.240 you know, think back to the era when you know, 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:16.760 black intellectuals, academics, entertainers would rub shoulders and break bread 0:01:16.920 --> 0:01:21.520 and and share ideas in a safe space. And we 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:27.360 wanted to recreate that on television. And it's it's really incredible. 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.480 It's it's bringing together some of the greatest minds in 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:34.600 our culture from every corner of the world. So you 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:38.480 have you have artists, you have entertainers, you have we 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:43.720 had a black astronaut all coming together to really exchange ideas, 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:46.800 and you know, you don't have anything like this on television, 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:48.600 which is kind of crazy when you really think about it, 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:50.280 It's like, how has it taken this long for a 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:52.000 show like this to come about? 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:54.360 But I'm so glad that it did. 0:01:54.480 --> 0:01:58.000 And we just talk about everything under the sun that 0:01:58.080 --> 0:02:01.440 affects our community, and we talk about it through a 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:06.800 black lens, and we debate, we laugh, we you know, 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:10.480 we agree, we challenge each other, and it's really intergenerational. 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:17.480 It's just a really positive, nuanced place to have conversations 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:18.680 that matter in our culture. 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:20.560 I feel like it's very all of it. I'm sorry. 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:22.120 I feel like it's very hard for us to have 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:25.639 conversations nowadays. I feel like we're all talking at each 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:27.640 other instead of tune with each other that part. 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:29.520 And that's why I think a show like this is 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:36.000 so important, because it's modeling how to have productive, constructive dialogue, 0:02:36.240 --> 0:02:40.840 how to listen, how to not react, you know, defensively. 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:44.800 It's really important, I think, especially in these times that 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:50.640 are so divided, it's so divisive, to really give people 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:54.040 an example of how you can articulate your point of 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:57.760 view and also appreciate and listen to somebody else's point 0:02:57.760 --> 0:03:01.560 of view and maybe even evolve, you know, maybe even 0:03:01.600 --> 0:03:04.880 maybe your maybe your perspective might evolve in the process. 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:07.160 So I think a show like this is so important. 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:10.560 And for me, I always, whether I'm writing books or 0:03:10.880 --> 0:03:13.800 on television, I want to create what I think the 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:16.080 world needs more of. And I think the world needs 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:20.799 more of hard converse examples of hard conversations that are 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:23.720 being tackled in a really constructive way. 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:25.880 I love that because I feel like, you know, over 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:28.160 the last several years, we've seen all of these, you know, 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:31.320 topics that we never discussed come to the forefront, but 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:34.080 we're still not having nuanced conversations about them. 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:35.440 We're not peeling back layers. 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:37.640 We're just telling you your trash if you believe this, 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:39.720 your trash if you don't think like this. 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:42.120 But it's just like, yo, where's the exchange of ideas? 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:44.720 So those people that you may not like the way 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:46.640 they think about a certain thing, they might evolve on 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:48.600 the subject if you just have a conversation. 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:50.320 Exactly and you might evolve. 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:52.320 I think that's the that's the thing, is to come 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:55.880 to the table with an open mind and be willing 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:59.080 to listen. I learned my mind was open, you know. 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:01.280 I came with an open mind and open heart. I 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:04.400 think everybody did. And you know what helped. I forgot 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:05.960 to mention this. I can't believe I forgot to mention this. 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:09.360 It's a dinner party. So you have like Michelin Star, 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:12.920 you know, a Michelin Star chef who is giving us 0:04:13.240 --> 0:04:18.600 incredible food and black owned wines, and we are just 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:20.840 like so I feel like everybody came in like maybe 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:21.400 a little. 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:22.800 Nervous, like was about to happen at the table. They 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:24.080 gonna there's. 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:26.320 Gonna be there, gonna be some gotcha questions, and then 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:29.640 everyone just realized this is actually a safe space. Sip 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:32.360 some wine, you know, you relax your nerves, you know, 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:37.000 settle a little. And we really we came to the table, 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:40.080 many of us strangers, and we walked away feeling like 0:04:40.120 --> 0:04:44.600 we had extended community. We like like a family, honestly. 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:46.839 So it was it was beautiful, and I hope, I 0:04:46.880 --> 0:04:51.280 honestly hope that it inspires people to have some of 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:54.480 these conversations at their own dinner table with their own friends, 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:57.680 at their work, at their church, Like whatever the community 0:04:57.720 --> 0:04:59.720 is that you are a part of, this is how 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:02.640 you can have these conversations and also invite people over 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:05.840 to your house. Again, Like we've all been in isolation 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:09.760 for so long, and we thrive in community, you know, 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:13.080 but it takes somebody to be intentional about curating the 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:17.080 right group, about sending that invitation, bringing people to creating 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:20.520 a safe space and really guiding the conversation. So I 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:22.800 really hope that like this is like the return of 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:23.520 the dinner party. 0:05:23.839 --> 0:05:25.400 You know, who are some of the people that are 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:27.680 I know, every episode is a different cast. Who are 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:28.960 some of the people that are at the table. 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:31.599 Yeah, we had a whole wide range of people, like 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:37.320 I said, from black astronauts to entertainers to authors, athletes. 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:39.800 So we had a couple of people we had that 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:45.920 I really love Phoebe Robinson, She's hilarious, Shine Jim Jones, 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:52.520 Ali Love roy Wood, Junior Tory Notton, Torri Notton, she 0:05:52.680 --> 0:06:00.080 was amazing. Yes, Lena Bloom And so the hosts were 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:04.960 the three hosts. One is the chef, David Lawrence. He 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:07.880 has a restaurant in the Bay Area, but he's originally 0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:10.400 from the UK and he's a. 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:12.159 Little bit older. I call him uncle. 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:16.279 And then we have Mark Spears who is at ESPN 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:20.360 and Landscape. He's a Hall of Fame sports writer. And 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:23.719 they conceived of this show, they pitched it, they got 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:26.719 it sold, which is a miracle to me in this landscape, 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:30.200 especially for a black show, bringing together black folks to 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:35.520 have black conversations that are you know, smart, intellectual and 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:37.839 not trash, Like We're not sitting there trying to trash 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:39.720 each other, which is usually what you see get sold. 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:41.400 And then they brought me on. 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:43.760 They wanted to have a woman's perspective at the table, 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:47.680 someone who could help bridge the generations. And I immediately, 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:49.800 I mean, once I understood the concept of the show, 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:51.640 the spirit of the show, the intention of the show 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:53.240 is like, sign me up, this is a dinner party. 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:55.000 I feel like anybody would want to be invited to. 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:56.440 So it was an honor to be a part of it. 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:57.680 How did you pick the people you wanted to have 0:06:57.760 --> 0:06:59.880 a conversation because you know, when you talk about curating 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.160 right people, even when you say let's bring back the 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:04.120 dinner party, I'm just not letting nobody in my house. 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:05.320 Your energy gotta be right. 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:07.800 Your energy got to be right. That's the part I think. 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:10.440 I think we all just kind of agreed. We we 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:13.440 all brought our lists, and we all kind of thought, 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:18.320 we want to make sure every single table is really intergenerational. 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:19.840 So that was a really important piece. 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:21.760 We wanted to make sure that it was co ed, 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:23.800 so there was a nice mix of you know, men 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:28.360 and women, and that everyone was represented, so trans folks, 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:29.240 queer folks. 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:29.960 You know. 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.520 I think the beauty of this show is that it 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:37.120 showcases the spectrum of blackness, right, Like we talk about 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:39.920 what it means to be black and queer black and 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:42.400 trans to what it's like to we talk about the 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:46.920 biracial experience and everything in between. We got, you know, 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:49.080 old elders in the room, we got the young folks 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:51.720 in the room, we got the millennials. And what you 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:55.000 see is that which it just reminds you that blackness 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:58.320 is not a monolith. We come from all different places 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:01.679 all over the world with different personspectives, and it really 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:05.280 it shapes our worldview. But when we break bread with 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:08.160 each other, when we break down these conversations together, we 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:11.120 realize how much more we have in common then than 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:12.320 what divides us. 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:15.080 Yeah, what about the titles of the show, like, like 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:17.480 those are the conversation starters within themselves? 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:19.920 Like what it's called We Him is one episode called. 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:26.440 I Didn't Name, I Didn't Name? Did you guys? Have 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:27.320 you guys seen any of them? 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:30.800 If you have not seen them, it's a six episode series. 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:34.480 It's totally bingeable. You once you watch one episode, you 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:37.000 will naturally want to just keep going. And I've gotten 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:40.520 such great feedback from everyone that you know, they're excited 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:45.040 to see black folks coming together to have these rich conversations, 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:49.360 these intergenerational conversations. Especially in a time like this, Like, honestly, guys, 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:53.120 it's dark times out there, absolutely, and we need something 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.040 that is feel good, that makes us think, that opens 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:59.200 our mind. And I think this show is exactly that. 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:01.120 And I hope we get to do it again and again, 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:02.880 and I hope we can bring y'all to the table 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:04.080 next season. 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:06.200 What's one conversation that stood out the most to you 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:08.400 that that you remember. That's something that she was like, Wow, 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:10.200 this is going to spark a lot of conversation and 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:13.120 interest when this episode's released, So when people see this episode. 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:15.160 Yeah, So two come to mind. 0:09:15.559 --> 0:09:19.640 One is a conversation with Brett Gray, who's this gen 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:24.520 Z actor, and he brought such an incredible energy to 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:27.679 the table, and he got into a kind of a 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:33.360 contentious conversation with the older gentleman at the table, who 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:38.800 we were calling them ogs, so David Lawrence, Mark Spears. 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:40.320 They were talking. 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:43.560 About sort of how this older generation we're talking about 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:50.120 black manhood and and toxic masculinity, and how the older 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:54.920 generation of black men in us, with the intention of 0:09:54.960 --> 0:10:00.760 trying to protect and guide the next generation of black men, 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:07.520 sometimes their way can crush the spirit of this younger generation. 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:11.440 That aren't as oppressed, that aren't as you know, they aren't, 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:14.280 they aren't facing they're living in a completely different world. 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:18.760 And and so how can you prepare the next generation 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:22.240 of black men to navigate the world as black men 0:10:22.280 --> 0:10:25.000 when they're in a completely different world than you came from. 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:28.720 And so he's sitting there with his like fly like 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:33.960 denim jacket on. It's sparkly, he's got sequins, and he's like, 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:38.200 to be honest, I think that when you don't want 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:41.479 us to sparkle, when we sparkle, it makes you uncomfortable. 0:10:41.760 --> 0:10:43.840 You put us in such a rigid box of what 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:46.720 it means to be a black man. And and and frankly, 0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:49.880 I don't identify with that. I'm more than that. I 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:51.880 want to be more than that, but you put me 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:54.240 in the box and you actually make me feel more 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:58.240 oppressed than than than the world. And so it was 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:01.320 like this really intense moment where you just know, like 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:07.200 this is a moment that is so powerful that people 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:10.320 need to see. And I hope that it really sparks 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:13.320 some debate. Not some debate, but I really hope it 0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:21.520 sparks kind of introspective conversations between black men of different generations, 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:23.040 and you know, it was beautiful. Is I feel like 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:26.280 there's a lot of conversation about women, which is important. 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.480 We've made a lot of you know that that's been 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:32.559 very intentional on media to focus more on the women's gaze, 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:36.559 but there's so much ground that we don't cover when 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:38.640 it comes to black malehood manhood. 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:40.199 And so it felt. 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:42.640 Nice for a moment to just sit back and know that, like, 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:44.760 this is not for me to participate in. 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:46.720 This is for me to listen and. 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:50.480 Learn and and appreciate the way these black men are 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:53.240 navigating this conversation. And you could see the ogs, you know, 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:55.840 they're not they came from a different generations where generation 0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:58.840 where young people you know, you're supposed to stay in 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.880 your place to speak when you're spoken to, you respect 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:05.040 your authority and your your elders, and you don't take 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:09.040 a certain tone. And and Brett was coming in there 0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:12.280 just speaking his mind. He was very strong with it, 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:14.880 and you could tell the ogs were getting a little 0:12:14.920 --> 0:12:18.000 like okay, now, young brother, okay, like you don't have 0:12:18.080 --> 0:12:18.800 to you. 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:23.439 Know, like but they they really they they I was. 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:26.360 So proud of them in that moment because they listened 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:30.640 and they there was a breakthrough I think for everybody 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:32.720 in that room, and they made it clear, like listen, 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:36.240 they apologize on behalf of kind of like this generation 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:40.920 of black men for breaking their spirit and and and 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:44.600 clarified that our intention is to protect you and to 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:47.400 help you navigate this world in ways that we didn't 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:51.080 We didn't have male guidance in this way. And so 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:53.800 while our way might not be perfect, know that it 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:56.560 comes from love. And I just felt like it was 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:59.280 a really kind of beautiful, heartwarming moment and. 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:01.320 That's something I learned it therapy or like, you know, 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:03.720 I think that our father, or at least my father, I 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.680 can't generalize, but my father, I think he was raising 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:11.760 me out of fear, not necessarily love, because he was 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:14.240 just afraid for me in this world as a black man. 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:16.360 He didn't want me to make the same mistakes that 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:18.960 he made as a man. But all he did was 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.439 still that same fear exactly inside of me. So it 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:26.040 kept a generational trauma going, you know, exactly. 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:28.120 But he also raised you from the side of the 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:30.360 Times were different, you know, I mean, I mean, racism 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:32.800 is still big now, but it was ten times worse 0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:35.400 back then, where my dad tells me stories where he 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:37.360 couldn't go to certain bathrooms, he couldn't drink out of 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:40.160 certain water fountains, where he looks at white people a 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:42.679 lot different than we do because when he was a kid, 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:45.600 he could never trust him because it was always them versus. 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:48.000 Yeah, that's how my dad kind of raised me. But 0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:49.840 for us, my dad. 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:51.600 Was my dad was afraid that I was gonna turn 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:53.280 out like him in a lot of ways, even though 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:54.560 you know, he had his good side, you know, but 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:56.679 he had battled substance abuse, and he was in the 0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:58.560 street and stuff like that. But I think he was 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:00.640 more afraid of how if I went on that path. 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:02.520 He knew the white man had a plan for me, 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:06.400 which is frizy. So I think that's what that's what, 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:09.760 That's what it was. I remember my first breakthrough in 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:13.319 therapy was realizing, like, damn, my dad. My dad used 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:16.160 to punish me for things he never taught me. So 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.079 he would discipline me for things that you never even 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:19.800 taught me. You told me to follow your lead in 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:21.840 a lot of ways, and then when I did, I 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:22.480 would get. 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:23.240 Punished for it. 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:26.720 And you know, I think part of part of this 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:31.720 conversation is how does a generation of black men who 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:35.880 didn't have black fathers in the household, or whose fathers 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:43.360 were really challenged by outside factors related to racism, you know, 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:47.480 and and so that that debilitated their ability to be 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:52.080 a good dad, Like, how does that generation of fatherless 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:55.200 black men turn around and figure out how to be 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:57.800 great dads to the next generation when they didn't have 0:14:57.840 --> 0:14:59.840 a model for that, And so of course they're going 0:14:59.880 --> 0:15:02.240 to make mistakes. And I think the important thing is 0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:06.840 now to have dialogue about, you know, how the next 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:09.840 generation can do it differently and what they can learn 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:12.840 in the process. And and even like Chef David, you know, 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:16.320 he's he has a son, a grown child, and he 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:18.920 kind of he had some reflective moments where he said 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:22.400 he could have done some things differently. And I think 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:26.600 that it might have led to some offline conversations that 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.320 that were really healthy and really necessary. And I really 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:33.440 hope that that's the that's the result of this show, 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:36.480 And for viewers who are watching, you know what I mean, 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:38.800 I hope it. I hope it triggers some conversations that 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:41.400 are maybe overdue in our community. 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:43.320 And you know what else too, It's like it's not 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:46.400 even about what we what we uh, it's about what 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:48.800 we learned, but what we got to unlearned as we 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:50.800 get older, because you know, I'll be the first to 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:52.720 admit we were a whole generation that was raised wrong. 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.920 You know. I mean I'm raised wrong in a lot 0:15:56.960 --> 0:15:59.200 of ways, you know. So it's like, yeah, it's about 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:01.000 what you have to and learnt. 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:03.800 Yeah, and you know, I'm a new mom. I just 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:07.480 had a baby seventeen months ago, thank you. So I 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:11.320 felt like I was there listening more than I talk 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:16.400 on topics around parenthood. And you know, Roxane Chante came on, 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:18.960 and you know, she was one of the sort of 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:19.680 our elders. 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:20.640 We respect her. 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:26.360 And she was talking about, you know, parenting as a 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:30.640 black mom, especially a single black mom, how parenting a 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.760 young black man is different from parenting a young woman. 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:36.400 And I really leaned in because I was like, because 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:37.640 I'm a boy mom. 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:40.800 And she talked about how. 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:43.280 There is this tendency in our culture for black moms 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:47.720 to kind of overly caddle black men, which is again 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:51.680 coming from a spirit of love and protection because they 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:54.440 know how harsh this world is on black men. But 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:58.360 in the end, sometimes the outcome is that these men 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:01.800 are not they're not getting the tools that they need 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:04.280 to be men in the world, and they're being coddled 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:07.600 to the point of you know, they're they're not standing 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:09.480 on their own two feet, and so you so there 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:12.280 was this conversation about this generation, this generation of black 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:15.560 men who were raised by mothers that were coddling them 0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:18.439 a little too much, and what is that impact on 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:23.120 families black, the black family in this generation. So that's 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:25.000 something I hadn't really thought a lot about, and so 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:27.320 I feel like I learned a lot. You know, normally 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:29.040 you come into conversations, you feel like you have your 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:32.560 talking pointspecially as a journalist like I. I listened and 0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:35.560 I learned. And another another really standout moment for me 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:42.360 was Lena Bloom came on. She's a beautiful transactivist and model, 0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:46.080 so eloquent. I really encourage you guys to listen to 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:47.600 to watch that episode. 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:48.920 But she sort of. 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:51.879 Challenged the room. She looked around and she said, how 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:57.000 many trans people have you ever invited to dinner or 0:17:57.040 --> 0:18:02.160 into your home? And the whole table went silent, and 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:06.360 she really made a compelling case for why we as 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:11.280 a culture, as a community, really need to open our 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:15.400 minds and open our hearts, and and you know, even 0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:18.439 if you do not understand the trans experience, it it 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:23.680 is your job to protect and to love your your 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:25.800 sister and your brother, your sisters and your brothers in 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:29.240 the trans community, and that we failed them essentially. And 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:32.040 I was really again, I was really proud of the 0:18:32.680 --> 0:18:36.600 room for holding space for that difficult conversation. 0:18:38.200 --> 0:18:40.720 And I think we really hurt her. We really hurt her. 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:43.800 And and I hope that especially for the older heads, 0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:46.440 this is a conversation that's a little bit new. It's 0:18:46.520 --> 0:18:49.720 newer for the older heads in the space. I think 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:51.439 it changed some of their perspectives. 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:54.640 Yeah, you had your child at home? 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:54.800 Right? 0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:55.919 I think I read that I did. 0:18:56.640 --> 0:18:58.000 Ye, I had a home I had a home birth 0:18:58.440 --> 0:18:59.680 with a with a midwife. 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:01.760 Is it because of all the things that are going 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:03.760 on in the hospitals and the way the black maternal 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:05.080 death rate is you just didn't trust it. 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:07.840 It's also during the pandemic COVID right seventeen months ago? Right? 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:10.480 No? No, wasn't it. 0:19:11.080 --> 0:19:12.679 I mean, are we still dependent? I don't know. 0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:16.200 I don't know what stage we are, but I mean, well, listen, 0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:18.199 I got married at home, am I stooped during the 0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:21.440 pandemic and I had my baby at home. I don't 0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:23.200 know what stage of the pandemic it was, but yes, 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:28.080 it was because you know, I went into pregnancy thinking 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:29.760 that I was going to have a hospital birth, just 0:19:29.800 --> 0:19:32.640 like you know, my mother did and my grandmother did. 0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:37.400 That's the norm in our country. But and I sort 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:38.440 of knew. 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:41.600 About the maternal mortality crisis, and the black maternal mortality crisis, 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:44.520 like in a peripheral sense, like it's something that happens 0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:49.560 out there in the world, but maybe not as much here. 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:52.680 I think I bought into this myth that it also, 0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:56.840 you know, tends to happen only in impoverished communities, and 0:19:56.920 --> 0:20:02.000 so here I am as this, you know, as as 0:20:02.000 --> 0:20:04.240 black women go in this country, I am. 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:06.520