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Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club Morning.

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Speaker 2: Everybody is DJ Envy Charlamagne the guy. We are the

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Speaker 2: Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building

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Speaker 2: this morning. Yes, indeed we have Miss Elaine well to

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Speaker 2: Roth Welcome, Hi guys this morning.

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Speaker 3: I'm good.

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Speaker 4: How are you good?

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Speaker 1: Goods Black and Holly favorite.

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Speaker 3: I love it.

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Speaker 5: I'm just really taking in this whole chair, the throne

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Speaker 5: that you're sitting, that the two of you are sitting on.

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Speaker 3: Met I didn't get a throne. Where's my throne?

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Speaker 1: We got it.

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Speaker 6: We're thinking of something for the guests in twenty twenty

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Speaker 6: four to make them because we're all regal, right, but

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Speaker 6: this is really just for television, right ron.

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Speaker 1: BT and for the Internet and stuff like that.

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Speaker 6: And then when we add the new third person, they'll

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Speaker 6: have a thron So we're gonna have a whole watch

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Speaker 6: the Throne campaign.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but we have to figure it out because the

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Speaker 2: thrones will be too high to block the cameras, which

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Speaker 2: you didn't think about beforehand, so it's gonna be a

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Speaker 2: cluster f You're gonna figure it out.

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Speaker 1: Get came.

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Speaker 4: So now you're here for a conversation project.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Stations Project.

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Speaker 4: Yep, Now what is the Conversation Project?

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Speaker 5: So the Conversations Project, which is on Hulu is basically

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Speaker 5: so it's inspired by the Harlem Renaissance Salon. It's like,

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Speaker 5: you know, think back to the era when you know,

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Speaker 5: black intellectuals, academics, entertainers would rub shoulders and break bread

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Speaker 5: and and share ideas in a safe space. And we

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Speaker 5: wanted to recreate that on television. And it's it's really incredible.

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Speaker 5: It's it's bringing together some of the greatest minds in

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Speaker 5: our culture from every corner of the world. So you

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Speaker 5: have you have artists, you have entertainers, you have we

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Speaker 5: had a black astronaut all coming together to really exchange ideas,

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Speaker 5: and you know, you don't have anything like this on television,

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Speaker 5: which is kind of crazy when you really think about it,

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Speaker 5: It's like, how has it taken this long for a

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Speaker 5: show like this to come about?

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Speaker 3: But I'm so glad that it did.

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Speaker 5: And we just talk about everything under the sun that

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Speaker 5: affects our community, and we talk about it through a

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Speaker 5: black lens, and we debate, we laugh, we you know,

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Speaker 5: we agree, we challenge each other, and it's really intergenerational.

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Speaker 5: It's just a really positive, nuanced place to have conversations

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Speaker 5: that matter in our culture.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's very all of it. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 6: I feel like it's very hard for us to have

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Speaker 6: conversations nowadays. I feel like we're all talking at each

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Speaker 6: other instead of tune with each other that part.

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Speaker 5: And that's why I think a show like this is

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Speaker 5: so important, because it's modeling how to have productive, constructive dialogue,

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Speaker 5: how to listen, how to not react, you know, defensively.

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Speaker 5: It's really important, I think, especially in these times that

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Speaker 5: are so divided, it's so divisive, to really give people

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Speaker 5: an example of how you can articulate your point of

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Speaker 5: view and also appreciate and listen to somebody else's point

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Speaker 5: of view and maybe even evolve, you know, maybe even

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Speaker 5: maybe your maybe your perspective might evolve in the process.

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Speaker 5: So I think a show like this is so important.

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Speaker 5: And for me, I always, whether I'm writing books or

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Speaker 5: on television, I want to create what I think the

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Speaker 5: world needs more of. And I think the world needs

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Speaker 5: more of hard converse examples of hard conversations that are

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Speaker 5: being tackled in a really constructive way.

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Speaker 6: I love that because I feel like, you know, over

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Speaker 6: the last several years, we've seen all of these, you know,

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Speaker 6: topics that we never discussed come to the forefront, but

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Speaker 6: we're still not having nuanced conversations about them.

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Speaker 1: We're not peeling back layers.

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Speaker 6: We're just telling you your trash if you believe this,

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Speaker 6: your trash if you don't think like this.

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Speaker 1: But it's just like, yo, where's the exchange of ideas?

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Speaker 6: So those people that you may not like the way

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Speaker 6: they think about a certain thing, they might evolve on

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Speaker 6: the subject if you just have a conversation.

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Speaker 3: Exactly and you might evolve.

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Speaker 5: I think that's the that's the thing, is to come

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Speaker 5: to the table with an open mind and be willing

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Speaker 5: to listen. I learned my mind was open, you know.

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Speaker 5: I came with an open mind and open heart. I

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Speaker 5: think everybody did. And you know what helped. I forgot

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Speaker 5: to mention this. I can't believe I forgot to mention this.

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Speaker 5: It's a dinner party. So you have like Michelin Star,

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Speaker 5: you know, a Michelin Star chef who is giving us

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Speaker 5: incredible food and black owned wines, and we are just

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Speaker 5: like so I feel like everybody came in like maybe

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Speaker 5: a little.

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Speaker 3: Nervous, like was about to happen at the table. They

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Speaker 3: gonna there's.

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Speaker 5: Gonna be there, gonna be some gotcha questions, and then

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Speaker 5: everyone just realized this is actually a safe space. Sip

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Speaker 5: some wine, you know, you relax your nerves, you know,

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Speaker 5: settle a little. And we really we came to the table,

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Speaker 5: many of us strangers, and we walked away feeling like

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Speaker 5: we had extended community. We like like a family, honestly.

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Speaker 5: So it was it was beautiful, and I hope, I

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Speaker 5: honestly hope that it inspires people to have some of

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Speaker 5: these conversations at their own dinner table with their own friends,

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Speaker 5: at their work, at their church, Like whatever the community

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Speaker 5: is that you are a part of, this is how

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Speaker 5: you can have these conversations and also invite people over

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Speaker 5: to your house. Again, Like we've all been in isolation

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Speaker 5: for so long, and we thrive in community, you know,

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Speaker 5: but it takes somebody to be intentional about curating the

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Speaker 5: right group, about sending that invitation, bringing people to creating

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Speaker 5: a safe space and really guiding the conversation. So I

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Speaker 5: really hope that like this is like the return of

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Speaker 5: the dinner party.

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Speaker 2: You know, who are some of the people that are

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Speaker 2: I know, every episode is a different cast. Who are

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Speaker 2: some of the people that are at the table.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we had a whole wide range of people, like

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Speaker 5: I said, from black astronauts to entertainers to authors, athletes.

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Speaker 5: So we had a couple of people we had that

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Speaker 5: I really love Phoebe Robinson, She's hilarious, Shine Jim Jones,

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Speaker 5: Ali Love roy Wood, Junior Tory Notton, Torri Notton, she

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Speaker 5: was amazing. Yes, Lena Bloom And so the hosts were

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Speaker 5: the three hosts. One is the chef, David Lawrence. He

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Speaker 5: has a restaurant in the Bay Area, but he's originally

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Speaker 5: from the UK and he's a.

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Speaker 3: Little bit older. I call him uncle.

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Speaker 5: And then we have Mark Spears who is at ESPN

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Speaker 5: and Landscape. He's a Hall of Fame sports writer. And

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Speaker 5: they conceived of this show, they pitched it, they got

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Speaker 5: it sold, which is a miracle to me in this landscape,

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Speaker 5: especially for a black show, bringing together black folks to

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Speaker 5: have black conversations that are you know, smart, intellectual and

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Speaker 5: not trash, Like We're not sitting there trying to trash

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Speaker 5: each other, which is usually what you see get sold.

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Speaker 3: And then they brought me on.

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Speaker 5: They wanted to have a woman's perspective at the table,

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Speaker 5: someone who could help bridge the generations. And I immediately,

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Speaker 5: I mean, once I understood the concept of the show,

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Speaker 5: the spirit of the show, the intention of the show

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Speaker 5: is like, sign me up, this is a dinner party.

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Speaker 5: I feel like anybody would want to be invited to.

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Speaker 5: So it was an honor to be a part of it.

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Speaker 6: How did you pick the people you wanted to have

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Speaker 6: a conversation because you know, when you talk about curating

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Speaker 6: right people, even when you say let's bring back the

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Speaker 6: dinner party, I'm just not letting nobody in my house.

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Speaker 1: Your energy gotta be right.

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Speaker 5: Your energy got to be right. That's the part I think.

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Speaker 5: I think we all just kind of agreed. We we

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Speaker 5: all brought our lists, and we all kind of thought,

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Speaker 5: we want to make sure every single table is really intergenerational.

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Speaker 3: So that was a really important piece.

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Speaker 5: We wanted to make sure that it was co ed,

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Speaker 5: so there was a nice mix of you know, men

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Speaker 5: and women, and that everyone was represented, so trans folks,

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Speaker 5: queer folks.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 5: I think the beauty of this show is that it

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Speaker 5: showcases the spectrum of blackness, right, Like we talk about

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Speaker 5: what it means to be black and queer black and

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Speaker 5: trans to what it's like to we talk about the

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Speaker 5: biracial experience and everything in between. We got, you know,

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Speaker 5: old elders in the room, we got the young folks

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Speaker 5: in the room, we got the millennials. And what you

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Speaker 5: see is that which it just reminds you that blackness

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Speaker 5: is not a monolith. We come from all different places

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Speaker 5: all over the world with different personspectives, and it really

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Speaker 5: it shapes our worldview. But when we break bread with

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Speaker 5: each other, when we break down these conversations together, we

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Speaker 5: realize how much more we have in common then than

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Speaker 5: what divides us.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, what about the titles of the show, like, like

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Speaker 6: those are the conversation starters within themselves?

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Speaker 1: Like what it's called We Him is one episode called.

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Speaker 3: I Didn't Name, I Didn't Name? Did you guys? Have

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Speaker 3: you guys seen any of them?

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Speaker 5: If you have not seen them, it's a six episode series.

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Speaker 5: It's totally bingeable. You once you watch one episode, you

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Speaker 5: will naturally want to just keep going. And I've gotten

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Speaker 5: such great feedback from everyone that you know, they're excited

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Speaker 5: to see black folks coming together to have these rich conversations,

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Speaker 5: these intergenerational conversations. Especially in a time like this, Like, honestly, guys,

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Speaker 5: it's dark times out there, absolutely, and we need something

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Speaker 5: that is feel good, that makes us think, that opens

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Speaker 5: our mind. And I think this show is exactly that.

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Speaker 5: And I hope we get to do it again and again,

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Speaker 5: and I hope we can bring y'all to the table

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Speaker 5: next season.

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Speaker 2: What's one conversation that stood out the most to you

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Speaker 2: that that you remember. That's something that she was like, Wow,

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Speaker 2: this is going to spark a lot of conversation and

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Speaker 2: interest when this episode's released, So when people see this episode.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So two come to mind.

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Speaker 5: One is a conversation with Brett Gray, who's this gen

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Speaker 5: Z actor, and he brought such an incredible energy to

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Speaker 5: the table, and he got into a kind of a

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Speaker 5: contentious conversation with the older gentleman at the table, who

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Speaker 5: we were calling them ogs, so David Lawrence, Mark Spears.

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Speaker 3: They were talking.

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Speaker 5: About sort of how this older generation we're talking about

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Speaker 5: black manhood and and toxic masculinity, and how the older

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Speaker 5: generation of black men in us, with the intention of

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Speaker 5: trying to protect and guide the next generation of black men,

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Speaker 5: sometimes their way can crush the spirit of this younger generation.

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Speaker 5: That aren't as oppressed, that aren't as you know, they aren't,

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Speaker 5: they aren't facing they're living in a completely different world.

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Speaker 5: And and so how can you prepare the next generation

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Speaker 5: of black men to navigate the world as black men

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Speaker 5: when they're in a completely different world than you came from.

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Speaker 5: And so he's sitting there with his like fly like

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Speaker 5: denim jacket on. It's sparkly, he's got sequins, and he's like,

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Speaker 5: to be honest, I think that when you don't want

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Speaker 5: us to sparkle, when we sparkle, it makes you uncomfortable.

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Speaker 5: You put us in such a rigid box of what

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Speaker 5: it means to be a black man. And and and frankly,

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Speaker 5: I don't identify with that. I'm more than that. I

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Speaker 5: want to be more than that, but you put me

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Speaker 5: in the box and you actually make me feel more

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Speaker 5: oppressed than than than the world. And so it was

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Speaker 5: like this really intense moment where you just know, like

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Speaker 5: this is a moment that is so powerful that people

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Speaker 5: need to see. And I hope that it really sparks

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Speaker 5: some debate. Not some debate, but I really hope it

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Speaker 5: sparks kind of introspective conversations between black men of different generations,

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Speaker 5: and you know, it was beautiful. Is I feel like

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Speaker 5: there's a lot of conversation about women, which is important.

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Speaker 5: We've made a lot of you know that that's been

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Speaker 5: very intentional on media to focus more on the women's gaze,

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Speaker 5: but there's so much ground that we don't cover when

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Speaker 5: it comes to black malehood manhood.

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Speaker 3: And so it felt.

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Speaker 5: Nice for a moment to just sit back and know that, like,

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Speaker 5: this is not for me to participate in.

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Speaker 3: This is for me to listen and.

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Speaker 5: Learn and and appreciate the way these black men are

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Speaker 5: navigating this conversation. And you could see the ogs, you know,

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Speaker 5: they're not they came from a different generations where generation

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Speaker 5: where young people you know, you're supposed to stay in

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Speaker 5: your place to speak when you're spoken to, you respect

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Speaker 5: your authority and your your elders, and you don't take

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Speaker 5: a certain tone. And and Brett was coming in there

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Speaker 5: just speaking his mind. He was very strong with it,

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Speaker 5: and you could tell the ogs were getting a little

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Speaker 5: like okay, now, young brother, okay, like you don't have

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Speaker 5: to you.

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Speaker 3: Know, like but they they really they they I was.

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Speaker 5: So proud of them in that moment because they listened

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Speaker 5: and they there was a breakthrough I think for everybody

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Speaker 5: in that room, and they made it clear, like listen,

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Speaker 5: they apologize on behalf of kind of like this generation

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Speaker 5: of black men for breaking their spirit and and and

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Speaker 5: clarified that our intention is to protect you and to

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Speaker 5: help you navigate this world in ways that we didn't

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Speaker 5: We didn't have male guidance in this way. And so

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Speaker 5: while our way might not be perfect, know that it

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Speaker 5: comes from love. And I just felt like it was

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Speaker 5: a really kind of beautiful, heartwarming moment and.

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Speaker 6: That's something I learned it therapy or like, you know,

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Speaker 6: I think that our father, or at least my father, I

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Speaker 6: can't generalize, but my father, I think he was raising

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Speaker 6: me out of fear, not necessarily love, because he was

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Speaker 6: just afraid for me in this world as a black man.

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Speaker 6: He didn't want me to make the same mistakes that

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Speaker 6: he made as a man. But all he did was

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Speaker 6: still that same fear exactly inside of me. So it

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Speaker 6: kept a generational trauma going, you know, exactly.

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Speaker 2: But he also raised you from the side of the

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Speaker 2: Times were different, you know, I mean, I mean, racism

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Speaker 2: is still big now, but it was ten times worse

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Speaker 2: back then, where my dad tells me stories where he

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Speaker 2: couldn't go to certain bathrooms, he couldn't drink out of

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Speaker 2: certain water fountains, where he looks at white people a

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Speaker 2: lot different than we do because when he was a kid,

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Speaker 2: he could never trust him because it was always them versus.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how my dad kind of raised me. But

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Speaker 4: for us, my dad.

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Speaker 6: Was my dad was afraid that I was gonna turn

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Speaker 6: out like him in a lot of ways, even though

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Speaker 6: you know, he had his good side, you know, but

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Speaker 6: he had battled substance abuse, and he was in the

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Speaker 6: street and stuff like that. But I think he was

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Speaker 6: more afraid of how if I went on that path.

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Speaker 6: He knew the white man had a plan for me,

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Speaker 6: which is frizy. So I think that's what that's what,

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Speaker 6: That's what it was. I remember my first breakthrough in

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Speaker 6: therapy was realizing, like, damn, my dad. My dad used

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Speaker 6: to punish me for things he never taught me. So

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Speaker 6: he would discipline me for things that you never even

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Speaker 6: taught me. You told me to follow your lead in

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Speaker 6: a lot of ways, and then when I did, I

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Speaker 6: would get.

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Speaker 1: Punished for it.

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Speaker 5: And you know, I think part of part of this

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Speaker 5: conversation is how does a generation of black men who

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Speaker 5: didn't have black fathers in the household, or whose fathers

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Speaker 5: were really challenged by outside factors related to racism, you know,

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Speaker 5: and and so that that debilitated their ability to be

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Speaker 5: a good dad, Like, how does that generation of fatherless

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Speaker 5: black men turn around and figure out how to be

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Speaker 5: great dads to the next generation when they didn't have

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Speaker 5: a model for that, And so of course they're going

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Speaker 5: to make mistakes. And I think the important thing is

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Speaker 5: now to have dialogue about, you know, how the next

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Speaker 5: generation can do it differently and what they can learn

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Speaker 5: in the process. And and even like Chef David, you know,

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Speaker 5: he's he has a son, a grown child, and he

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Speaker 5: kind of he had some reflective moments where he said

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Speaker 5: he could have done some things differently. And I think

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Speaker 5: that it might have led to some offline conversations that

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Speaker 5: that were really healthy and really necessary. And I really

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Speaker 5: hope that that's the that's the result of this show,

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Speaker 5: And for viewers who are watching, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 5: I hope it. I hope it triggers some conversations that

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Speaker 5: are maybe overdue in our community.

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Speaker 6: And you know what else too, It's like it's not

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Speaker 6: even about what we what we uh, it's about what

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Speaker 6: we learned, but what we got to unlearned as we

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Speaker 6: get older, because you know, I'll be the first to

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Speaker 6: admit we were a whole generation that was raised wrong.

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Speaker 1: You know. I mean I'm raised wrong in a lot

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Speaker 1: of ways, you know. So it's like, yeah, it's about

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Speaker 1: what you have to and learnt.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and you know, I'm a new mom. I just

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Speaker 5: had a baby seventeen months ago, thank you. So I

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Speaker 5: felt like I was there listening more than I talk

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Speaker 5: on topics around parenthood. And you know, Roxane Chante came on,

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Speaker 5: and you know, she was one of the sort of

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Speaker 5: our elders.

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Speaker 3: We respect her.

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Speaker 5: And she was talking about, you know, parenting as a

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Speaker 5: black mom, especially a single black mom, how parenting a

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Speaker 5: young black man is different from parenting a young woman.

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Speaker 5: And I really leaned in because I was like, because

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Speaker 5: I'm a boy mom.

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Speaker 3: And she talked about how.

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Speaker 5: There is this tendency in our culture for black moms

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Speaker 5: to kind of overly caddle black men, which is again

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Speaker 5: coming from a spirit of love and protection because they

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Speaker 5: know how harsh this world is on black men. But

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Speaker 5: in the end, sometimes the outcome is that these men

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Speaker 5: are not they're not getting the tools that they need

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Speaker 5: to be men in the world, and they're being coddled

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Speaker 5: to the point of you know, they're they're not standing

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Speaker 5: on their own two feet, and so you so there

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Speaker 5: was this conversation about this generation, this generation of black

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Speaker 5: men who were raised by mothers that were coddling them

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Speaker 5: a little too much, and what is that impact on

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Speaker 5: families black, the black family in this generation. So that's

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Speaker 5: something I hadn't really thought a lot about, and so

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Speaker 5: I feel like I learned a lot. You know, normally

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Speaker 5: you come into conversations, you feel like you have your

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Speaker 5: talking pointspecially as a journalist like I. I listened and

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Speaker 5: I learned. And another another really standout moment for me

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Speaker 5: was Lena Bloom came on. She's a beautiful transactivist and model,

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Speaker 5: so eloquent. I really encourage you guys to listen to

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Speaker 5: to watch that episode.

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Speaker 3: But she sort of.

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Speaker 5: Challenged the room. She looked around and she said, how

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Speaker 5: many trans people have you ever invited to dinner or

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Speaker 5: into your home? And the whole table went silent, and

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Speaker 5: she really made a compelling case for why we as

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Speaker 5: a culture, as a community, really need to open our

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Speaker 5: minds and open our hearts, and and you know, even

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Speaker 5: if you do not understand the trans experience, it it

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Speaker 5: is your job to protect and to love your your

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Speaker 5: sister and your brother, your sisters and your brothers in

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Speaker 5: the trans community, and that we failed them essentially. And

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Speaker 5: I was really again, I was really proud of the

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Speaker 5: room for holding space for that difficult conversation.

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Speaker 3: And I think we really hurt her. We really hurt her.

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Speaker 5: And and I hope that especially for the older heads,

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Speaker 5: this is a conversation that's a little bit new. It's

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Speaker 5: newer for the older heads in the space. I think

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Speaker 5: it changed some of their perspectives.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you had your child at home?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 1: I think I read that I did.

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Speaker 5: Ye, I had a home I had a home birth

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Speaker 5: with a with a midwife.

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Speaker 6: Is it because of all the things that are going

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Speaker 6: on in the hospitals and the way the black maternal

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Speaker 6: death rate is you just didn't trust it.

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Speaker 4: It's also during the pandemic COVID right seventeen months ago? Right?

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Speaker 1: No? No, wasn't it.

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Speaker 3: I mean, are we still dependent? I don't know.

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Speaker 5: I don't know what stage we are, but I mean, well, listen,

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Speaker 5: I got married at home, am I stooped during the

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Speaker 5: pandemic and I had my baby at home. I don't

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Speaker 5: know what stage of the pandemic it was, but yes,

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Speaker 5: it was because you know, I went into pregnancy thinking

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Speaker 5: that I was going to have a hospital birth, just

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Speaker 5: like you know, my mother did and my grandmother did.

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Speaker 3: That's the norm in our country. But and I sort

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Speaker 3: of knew.

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Speaker 5: About the maternal mortality crisis, and the black maternal mortality crisis,

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Speaker 5: like in a peripheral sense, like it's something that happens

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Speaker 5: out there in the world, but maybe not as much here.

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Speaker 5: I think I bought into this myth that it also,

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Speaker 5: you know, tends to happen only in impoverished communities, and

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Speaker 5: so here I am as this, you know, as as

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Speaker 5: black women go in this country, I am.

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Speaker 3: I have all the privileges you could have.

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Speaker 5: So I thought I wouldn't have a problem having my

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Speaker 5: baby in the hospital, finding a great doctor, finding great care.

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Speaker 5: And I was so shocked to learn how difficult it

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Speaker 5: is to find a healthcare provider in our current medical

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Speaker 5: system that makes you feel safe, that makes you feel

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Speaker 5: listened to, that makes you feel like you know they

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Speaker 5: there's a compassionate person that's going to make sure that

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Speaker 5: you have the.

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Speaker 3: Birth that you want.

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Speaker 5: I'm based out of LA and so I went through

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Speaker 5: from doctor to doctor to doctor, and this is me.

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Speaker 3: I am, like, you know, I'm I'm pretty well connected.

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Speaker 5: I got resources, I could go to the best of

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Speaker 5: the best, and I had bad experience after bad experience

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Speaker 5: after bad experience. It was so incredibly humbling, and it

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Speaker 5: it was the first time where I had to really

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Speaker 5: confront the fear that I could very well become another

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Speaker 5: statistic And what I learned as I went through this

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Speaker 5: journey is that this issue is so complex. It is

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Speaker 5: this crisis, this maternal mortality crisis that you know that

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Speaker 5: overly impacts black women, is very real, and unfortunately, the

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Speaker 5: rates of death are actually surging. It's really scary, and

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Speaker 5: I think when you talk about it with folks, I

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Speaker 5: think people still have there's this concept, this misconception that

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Speaker 5: this isn't happening in this country, that this isn't happening

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Speaker 5: to people who look like me or come from where

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Speaker 5: I come from. You know, it's not happening to well

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Speaker 5: educated black women of means.

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Speaker 3: It absolutely is.

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Speaker 5: And as I've gotten deeper into this work and into

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Speaker 5: the stats, I realized that black women, black wealthy women

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Speaker 5: are dying at higher rates than poor white women in

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Speaker 5: this country during and after childbirth. So when you understand

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Speaker 5: like truly, where where, what the picture is, how how

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Speaker 5: prevalent this issue is in our country and the richest

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Speaker 5: country in the world, you start to you start to

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Speaker 5: think about what informs your your point of view on

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Speaker 5: what a safe where a safe birth happens, and and

440
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 5: who's delivering your baby and why these messages are what

441
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 5: you believe, you know, And so I thought, you know,

442
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 5: I always thought like, oh, to be safe, I should

443
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,360
Speaker 5: have you know, I've heard of.

444
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,159
Speaker 3: Home births, I've heard of midwives.

445
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 5: Sounds beautiful, God bless but to be safe air quotes,

446
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 5: I'm going to have my baby in a hospital. But

447
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 5: is it truly safer to have your baby in a

448
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 5: hospital when you're a black woman in America? You have

449
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 5: to really, you have to unpack that. And so I

450
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 5: decided to have my baby outside of the hospital. Really

451
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 5: because it was the place that I found the best care.

452
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:07,639
Speaker 3: It's as simple as that.

453
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:13,120
Speaker 5: I am so lucky that I found black midwives, Kimberly

454
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 5: Dirden and a Lager Hill. They owned the only black

455
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 5: owned birthing center in all of southern California, which is wild.

456
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 5: Wouldn't you think that there would be plenty of birthing

457
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 5: centers and black midwives there, But it's still it's you know,

458
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 5: it's a bit of a desert as it relates to

459
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 5: this kind of maternal care. But these women were like angels.

460
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:39,400
Speaker 5: They were truly like they're unsung midwives and doulas are

461
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 5: unsung heroes in our communities. And they came in and

462
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:47,959
Speaker 5: completely changed the trajectory of my pregnancy and really opened

463
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 5: my mind, opened my eyes to this crisis. And and

464
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 5: I feel compelled now to do something about it. And

465
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,679
Speaker 5: I will say I think we I had a beautiful birth,

466
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:02,560
Speaker 5: I had a sacred birth. I felt so safe and

467
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 5: cared for. And I feel like we need to share

468
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:11,120
Speaker 5: more positive birthing stories with black women, from black women.

469
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 4: Explaining the process.

470
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:16,919
Speaker 2: Because we've had Thomas time me and my wife several times.

471
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,120
Speaker 4: Thomas is your wife pregnant?

472
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:21,640
Speaker 1: Well, we had our last two. Latham was our dula

473
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:22,199
Speaker 1: for our last two.

474
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:26,359
Speaker 5: She what Latham is incredible. Latham is like also another

475
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 5: unsung hero.

476
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 2: Oh man, She's She's several times so explain the process,

477
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 2: because I think what most women think when when you

478
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 2: think of home, you think of pain, right, And I

479
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 2: think a lot of people go to the hospital for

480
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 2: that epidoro. They go to the hospital make sure that

481
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 2: if there's any complications, especially with the baby, that.

482
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 4: The doctor can can take care. So just you know, explain.

483
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 2: I have six but all out of hospital, all hospital,

484
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 2: all hospital, and my wife who all hospital. But break

485
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 2: down the process of the experience so women listening don't

486
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 2: get frightened, because if I'm listening, I would get frighten. Now,

487
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 2: all I'm thinking about is pain, I'm thinking about what happens,

488
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 2: I'm thinking blind, I'm thinking a whole lot.

489
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 4: So break gone a process.

490
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 5: Oh, I'm so glad you asked this, because we need

491
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:11,439
Speaker 5: to reframe pain for birthing people. I too, was so

492
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:15,040
Speaker 5: incredibly scared of not having access to an epidural. Like

493
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 5: even when I found my midwife, I fell in love

494
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 5: with her. I was like, I would love for you

495
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 5: to birth my baby.

496
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,679
Speaker 3: But can we just have an epidural just in case?

497
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,439
Speaker 3: Could it just be there? And She's like, kind of

498
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 3: like the whole thing.

499
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,919
Speaker 5: You can't have an epidural for a home birth, and

500
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,119
Speaker 5: that was the thing that made it. It was like

501
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 5: the hardest part for me to overcome is like what

502
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 5: if I can't handle the pain correct? And I actually

503
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 5: did not decide to have a home birth until thirty six,

504
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 5: thirty six or thirty seven weeks. It was like go time,

505
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 5: and I still was like, you know, dating doctors and

506
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 5: tiptoeing like that line. And ultimately I made the call

507
00:25:55,359 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 5: because I was able to shift my mindset around pain,

508
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 5: and I did that with the support and the guidance

509
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,919
Speaker 5: of my midwife. She talks about pain, the pain of

510
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 5: childbirth as purposeful as directional, and she doesn't even use

511
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 5: the word pain. She used the word She uses the

512
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 5: word waves. She uses the word words like intensity. And

513
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 5: she made it clear to me that your body has

514
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 5: been preparing for this since the day you started your period.

515
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,479
Speaker 5: Those cramps that you feel, that discomfort that you feel,

516
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 5: is the exact pain that you will feel as labor starts.

517
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 5: So it's not an unfamiliar pain like I thought I

518
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,640
Speaker 5: was going to be, like, like it's gonna feel.

519
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:44,119
Speaker 3: Like knives in my Please make it seem like it is.

520
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 5: Absolutely horror horrifying, like the movies and everything we've ever

521
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 5: seen about birth is all inspiring fear. None of it

522
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:59,240
Speaker 5: is inspiring self trust and what a midwife does and

523
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 5: what my wife did is completely she gave my power

524
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 5: back to me. I feel like we have been trained

525
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 5: as a culture, conditioned as a culture to give our

526
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 5: power away as women, as black women, as birthing people.

527
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 5: We give our power away to these authorities in white

528
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 5: lab coats that often undermine our intelligence, that often gaslight us,

529
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 5: that take advantage of the power that we give away.

530
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 5: We're not taught about our bodies. We're not taught about

531
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 5: what we were built to do. We're not taught about

532
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 5: how babies have been getting here since the beginning of time,

533
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 5: which was not in a hospital, right. We're not taught

534
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,439
Speaker 5: about how the obe opstroenetics came about and that it

535
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 5: was set up to as a business that prioritizes profit

536
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 5: over patients. We're not taught this. Once you learn just

537
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 5: how systemic and complex this issue is, you start to

538
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 5: realize that, like you need to, there's a lot of

539
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 5: unlearning that we have to do. And I was so

540
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 5: grateful that like this woman, this midwife, the way she

541
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,959
Speaker 5: talked about birth was like pleasurable and I was like, Oh,

542
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 5: iing this. I know she's crazy. She's crazy. Is she

543
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 5: talking about birth like it's a pleasurable experience? But y'all,

544
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 5: when I tell you, and God as my witness, my

545
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 5: husband as my witness, my midwife as my witness, delivering

546
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 5: my child at home in an unmedicated birth was the

547
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 5: single most empowering experience of my life.

548
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 3: It was.

549
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 5: It was transformative. It was oh my gosh, I'm getting emotional.

550
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 5: It was spiritual. It was beautiful, like the pain was

551
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 5: so secondary to the downloads that I got spiritually, to

552
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 5: the access to my power that was unlocked for me.

553
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 5: It was absolutely beautiful. And I just wish that more

554
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 5: women were told, you were built for this. You can

555
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 5: more than handle this. You will. You will not just survive,

556
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,239
Speaker 5: you can thrive through your birth. And so this is

557
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,479
Speaker 5: not to demonize you know, the epidural. Listen girl, if

558
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 5: you want to go epidural, get the epidural, press the button,

559
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 5: go for If you want to have a hospital, girl,

560
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 5: do that. But make sure that you feel comfortable and

561
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 5: safe and seen by your healthcare provider, because too many

562
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 5: of us are dying in the hospital system. And if

563
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 5: you are not finding the healthcare that you deserve that

564
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 5: you need. Look outside, look into alternatives, look into other options.

565
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 5: Other options are available, and you can have a beautiful,

566
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 5: safe birth experience outside of the hospital system.

567
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 4: Let me ask you one more question, right, you said, well.

568
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 3: You guys got me emotional. I didn't expect to go

569
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 3: there today.

570
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 2: It was real conversation because there's a lot of women

571
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 2: out there that need this information. Now, you said it

572
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 2: thirty six weeks that you will still quote unquote dating doctors.

573
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: Right.

574
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 2: I could be wrong, but I thought your gynacologist is

575
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 2: the one that usually delivers your doctor, and that gynecologe

576
00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 2: is somebody that you've been with for a long time

577
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 2: and trust.

578
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 4: Is that not the because I have six kids?

579
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: Right?

580
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 4: So the first the first delivery, Madison effed up gynecologists.

581
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 4: It was like a dating the doctor type of thing.

582
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 4: My wife went to somebody was horrible, bad experience. My

583
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 4: wife almost passed. She had one hundred and four temperature

584
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 4: for three or four days. It was very, very bad.

585
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 2: We moved to Jersey and she got a gynecologist, minority

586
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 2: woman that we trusted. Delivered out other five babies no problems,

587
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 2: but that woman was somebody that we trusted. If my

588
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 2: wife said there was a problem, she dropped what she

589
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 2: did to get to that hospital she believed she trusted.

590
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 2: So when you said data doctors don't most people use

591
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 2: their gynecologists to deliver their baby. So with somebody that

592
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 2: they see that knows them, that they trust or is

593
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 2: that not true?

594
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 6: No?

595
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 5: Absolutely, that's the ideal scenario, right. But you have to

596
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 5: understand we were, first of all, in a pandemic.

597
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 3: I had just moved to a new state. In a pandemic.

598
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 5: I didn't have a general doctor, you know, I didn't

599
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 5: have a regular physician, let alone an obgyn. I hadn't

600
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 5: gone to the doctor since the beginning of the pandemic.

601
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 5: I'm generally healthy, and so I wasn't thinking about seeking

602
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 5: out a doctor or an obg yn until I got pregnant.

603
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 5: So once I got pregnant, I thought, Okay, how hard

604
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 5: is it to find a good doctor? Can't be hard.

605
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 5: I live in the mecca of you know, I live.

606
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 5: I live in La So I got referrals. I did

607
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 5: all the things you're supposed to do. I got referrals.

608
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 5: I checked, you know, I checked everyone at all these

609
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 5: doctors out on Google. I went in prepared with questions,

610
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 5: and what I found is that I was met with

611
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 5: what is the word, I was met with resistance. I

612
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 5: would say, at best, it's like the most polite way

613
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 5: I was. I was met with resistance when I came

614
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 5: in with questions, when I came in sort of informed,

615
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 5: and when I had the audacity to, you know, just

616
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 5: ask what I thought, we're basic questions about how this

617
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 5: would go to and also just try to when I

618
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 5: tried to just form some sort of you know, connection

619
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 5: to this person, it was like I was rushed the

620
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 5: in and out girl.

621
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 3: I was literally told.

622
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 4: Like a fast food service, I'm not fast.

623
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 5: Food service, I'm I'm I don't think people understand that

624
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 5: when you when you are pregnant, you are in your

625
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 5: most vulnerable state, right. I didn't even know to expect that,

626
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 5: And I was very emotional, and I came in and

627
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 5: I was rushed people. These doctors would not look at

628
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 5: me in my face. They just kind of toss medication

629
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 5: my way without even asking me. I mean, it was

630
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 5: just it was so inhumane. I had I had vials

631
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 5: of blood, six vials of my blood taken on accident

632
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 5: without apology. They tried to excuse it and act like

633
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 5: it didn't happen, like so many things happen.

634
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 3: I was like, I now see how this happens.

635
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 4: I just don't like how they don't allow you to film.

636
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 2: Right, you pay for service. You're paying for that. It's

637
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 2: not free, right, you're paying for that. But they won't

638
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 2: allow you to film your birth in most hospitals, and

639
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 2: they say it is to protect them, so if they

640
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 2: do something wrong, you can't protect yourself. I just never understood.

641
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 5: That there's so much you can't do that I didn't

642
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 5: know in most cases. In many cases, I should say,

643
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 5: you can't eat in the hospital. Once you're in labor.

644
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 5: You have to have an IV in your system, which

645
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 5: means you can't move around freely. Yes, sure, you most

646
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 5: of the time have to deliver on your back or

647
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 5: in the bed, which let's just think about this for

648
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 5: one moment. This completely changed my outlook on birth. When

649
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 5: one of my girlfriends was like, she had a home birth,

650
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 5: and she said, think about how gravity works. Right, if

651
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 5: you had to push a bowling ball outside out of

652
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 5: your body.

653
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 1: You'd stand up a squat.

654
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 5: Right, does it make sense to lay on your back

655
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 5: to push a bowling one? Out of your body, or

656
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 5: does it make sense to be upright to use gravity.

657
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 5: When somebody said that, I was like, Yo, that is

658
00:33:55,240 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 5: the most basic thing. And how come we why have

659
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 5: we been trained to think that this is the only

660
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 5: way birth should happen on your back with a doctor

661
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 5: seated at the that's for the doctor's convenience. And I'm

662
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 5: not saying this in all cases. For some cases you

663
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 5: must be on your back.

664
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 3: It's the safest thing.

665
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:16,280
Speaker 5: In some cases you need medical interventions. In some cases

666
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 5: you need a see section Like, I am not anti

667
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 5: doctor and I'm not anti hospital, but what I am

668
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 5: is pro woman and pro baby, and what makes that

669
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 5: and I think that are our needs and our desires

670
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 5: and our wishes should be honored, you know. And I've

671
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 5: had a doctor literally in the middle of asking questions,

672
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 5: stand up and walk out of the room and say,

673
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 5: you have exceeded your two to three question Max. I am,

674
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 5: and I've given you some grace, but I need to.

675
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:52,320
Speaker 4: Go two to three question Max.

676
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 3: I'm like, I am in.

677
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 5: My most vulnerable state and I am coming to you

678
00:34:55,960 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 5: with legitimate questions with a polite attitude. I'm friendly, and

679
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 5: you are just shutting me down. And walking out on me,

680
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 5: and it just made me feel so small and even

681
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 5: as some And I think it's important for someone like

682
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,400
Speaker 5: me to talk openly about this because I think that

683
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 5: people would assume that someone this couldn't happen to someone

684
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 5: like me, Like, no way. You know, I'm outspoken, I'm

685
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 5: a journalist, I'm informed, I'm confident. But the experiences that

686
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 5: I had with these doctors, you guys broke me down. Wow,

687
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 5: it made me question myself. It silenced it silenced me.

688
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 3: It made me. I cried after every appointment.

689
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 5: I started thinking something's maybe wrong with me, Like do

690
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 5: I need to smile more? What can I do to

691
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 5: make myself seem worthy of good care in the presence

692
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 5: of these doctors? That is not the way it should be.

693
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 5: I'm paying for the service I'm paying into.

694
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 3: So the whole.

695
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:56,240
Speaker 5: Medical industrial complex is poisoned, and there's so much change

696
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,719
Speaker 5: that needs to happen. There's so much reform that we

697
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 5: need on every level level within the hospital system, with

698
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 5: the insurance system, you know, at the legislative level, we

699
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 5: need to figure out how to create pipelines for more midwives,

700
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 5: more doulas. We have to figure out how to create

701
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 5: more access so that underserved communities can have access to

702
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,480
Speaker 5: midwives and doulas if that's what they need. And by

703
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 5: the way, the other thing that I learned which made

704
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,960
Speaker 5: me feel energized around this topic because this topic is

705
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:28,919
Speaker 5: depressing to a lot of people and they.

706
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 3: Kind of like lean back.

707
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,839
Speaker 5: They're like, Ooh, I don't really want to talk about that.

708
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,359
Speaker 5: That's I'm just going to hope for the best with

709
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 5: my with my birth. But I think we have to

710
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 5: lean in to this conversation. What helped me lean in

711
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 5: was understanding that this is solvable, Like there are solutions,

712
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:47,240
Speaker 5: and there's a stat that was really staggering.

713
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 6: To me.

714
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 5: That basically, if if you have a midwife or a doula,

715
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:59,280
Speaker 5: seventy percent of these deaths could be prevented. Seventy percent

716
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 5: of these materi ternal health, black maternal health that could

717
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 5: be prevented with the intervention of a midwife and a doula.

718
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 3: That gives me hope.

719
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 5: That's like, Okay, well, if that's the way to solve this,

720
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:15,040
Speaker 5: let's figure out how we can create a pipeline of

721
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 5: more midwives, more doulas. Let's figure out how we can

722
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 5: create a system that's more of a hybrid model where doctors, doulas,

723
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:26,320
Speaker 5: and midwives can all coexist peacefully, can work well together.

724
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,440
Speaker 5: And so that's as you can see. I'm just very

725
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 5: fired up about this particular issue because I just think

726
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 5: there's nothing more important than keeping mothers alive to raise

727
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 5: these children that we are bringing into the world, especially

728
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 5: at a time like this where more women are being

729
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 5: forced into motherhood before they're ready. If we have the

730
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 5: audacity as a country, if our government has the audacity

731
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 5: to force women into parenthood before they are ready, we

732
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 5: need to create systems that will keep them alive to

733
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 5: raise those children. It is as simple as that. So

734
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 5: I hope next season I don't bring it back to

735
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:02,919
Speaker 5: the show.

736
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 3: I hope next season this is something we can talk

737
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:05,600
Speaker 3: about and unpack.

738
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 1: Definitely a conversation.

739
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 3: Can I just tell you this is the first time

740
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 3: I had this conversation with two men.

741
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 1: Oh listen, I swear by duelers.

742
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 3: You know, chills right now just.

743
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 6: Because of the experiences that me and my wife have

744
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 6: had in the hospital, you know, whether it was emergency

745
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,240
Speaker 6: se sections. She had to be rushed for our second child,

746
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 6: and when Latham came in for our third childh My

747
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 6: wife was dreading having another sea section. Lath was like,

748
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,320
Speaker 6: you don't have to have one, but the doctor was

749
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 6: telling her they had to have one. And what you

750
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 6: realize is it's easy for the doctor, and it's more

751
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 6: money because it's a surgery. So the doctor can schedule

752
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 6: with day to come in, cut her open, take the

753
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 6: baby out, thaw her back up.

754
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 1: It's more money.

755
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,280
Speaker 6: But think about how much pain that calls us for

756
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 6: the women. But they're not thinking about that. They're thinking

757
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 6: about them.

758
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 3: And surgeries go left, can go wrong.

759
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 5: And I also feel like I need to say, you know,

760
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 5: things can go wrong in a home birth, absolutely, but

761
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 5: but I think the problem is we've inflated, like there's

762
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 5: an inflated sense that home births are more dangerous than

763
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 5: hospital births, and if you actually look at the stats.

764
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 3: That's not true.

765
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 5: And I feel like I need to also share that, like,

766
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 5: while I had this beautiful birth that truly changed my

767
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 5: life and my perspective on literally everything, I did have

768
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:25,919
Speaker 5: a complication after I delivered my baby, and I won't

769
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 5: get into the details about it, but what I will

770
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 5: say is that I had.

771
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 3: The most competent.

772
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 5: Medical professionals in my home, who took the best care

773
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 5: of me, and they were so Not only did they

774
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 5: take the best care of me and solve the problem

775
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 5: in a speedy manner, but they protected my mental and

776
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 5: my spiritual and my emotional state such that I did

777
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 5: not even know I was having an emergency. I did

778
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 5: not until the next day. They So when I think

779
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 5: about my birth, I don't have birth trauma. I don't

780
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 5: think about birth trauma. I don't think about this complication.

781
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 5: I think about the incredible experience that I had. And

782
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 5: that's because they prioritized my mental health and my peace

783
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 5: and my sanity and my well being in a.

784
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 3: Three sixty way.

785
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 5: If I asked them if I was in a hospital

786
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 5: and this exact same thing happened, like, what would that

787
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 5: have What would have happened? They were like, well, they

788
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 5: would have rushed in a number of nurses and doctors

789
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 5: probably would have come in. You probably would have been

790
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,399
Speaker 5: you would have been separated from your child, You would

791
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 5: have been rushed into a different room. You might have

792
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 5: been given blood transfusion. You like, it would have been like,

793
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 5: I mean, alarms would have been going off. In the

794
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 5: safety of my home, I was taken care of. I

795
00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 5: didn't know anything was going wrong. They swiftly handled me,

796
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 5: and they were very prepared to call the ambulance if

797
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 5: they needed to. And I think that's really important for

798
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 5: people to know. People think that, like there aren't mechanisms

799
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:15,919
Speaker 5: in place to navigate when something goes wrong, and they're

800
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 5: they're midwives. Their actual job is to identify the point

801
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 5: when and if you need medical intervention, if you need

802
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 5: to call the ambulance, you need to get to someone,

803
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 5: to a hospital, there's already a plan in place. I

804
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,839
Speaker 5: had four backup hospitals. I spoke to doctors that every

805
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 5: single one of them, spoke to nurses at every single

806
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 5: one of them, because as a black woman, I did

807
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 5: not want the first time. I didn't want them to

808
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 5: meet me for the first time, and in my most

809
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 5: vulnerable state, in an emergency state, I wanted them to

810
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 5: know my name.

811
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 3: I wanted them to see my face.

812
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 5: And honestly, who has time to go to from hospital

813
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 5: to hospital to do that kind of thing. I made

814
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 5: the time because I knew it was a matter of

815
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,760
Speaker 5: life or death. And so I share that with whoever

816
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,800
Speaker 5: is listening, Like, you know, there's so much fear mongering

817
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 5: around motherhood and childbirth in this country, and you know

818
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,280
Speaker 5: it's for a good reason. These stats are really staggering.

819
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,280
Speaker 3: They're real there. It's very scary.

820
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 5: But at the same time, there are pathways to beautiful,

821
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,840
Speaker 5: safe birthing experiences, and there are things we can do

822
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 5: to empower ourselves and to advocate for ourselves. And I

823
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,719
Speaker 5: think a big part of that is empowering our partners

824
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 5: and informing our partners on how they can be advocates

825
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 5: for us and how they can be allies. So I

826
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,280
Speaker 5: just really want to I really want to hold space

827
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 5: for this just to say, like, thank you guys for

828
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 5: even taking this much time in this interview to talk

829
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 5: about this. And as fathers, you guys, I can tell

830
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 5: you care, I can tell you're leaning in and literally

831
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 5: this is the kind of conversation we're having on the

832
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 5: Conversations project.

833
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 3: Well, I just to come full circle. I just want

834
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 3: to say thank you so much.

835
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:46,920
Speaker 4: For we to respond.

836
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 2: I would say that, you know the best thing about

837
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,799
Speaker 2: these conversations. You know, Charlemagne has for daughters with his wife.

838
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 2: I have six kids with mom, but more men want

839
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 2: to know what's going on. Before it was one of

840
00:42:58,480 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 2: those things you go to the hospital tell us when

841
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 2: we need to be there, but we want to be

842
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 2: a part of it. We want to know what's what

843
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 2: affects you, what makes you cry, what hurts, what your

844
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 2: concerns are, because now situation, we can do it together.

845
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:11,879
Speaker 2: It's not just you on your own and same thing

846
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:13,279
Speaker 2: with us with the stuff that we go through. It's

847
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 2: not just that's on our own. And we appreciate you

848
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 2: for sharing your what.

849
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 6: Dudes are important too when you in those hospitals and

850
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 6: have to communicate with those doctors and those nurses.

851
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,839
Speaker 1: As a father, as a husband, when you see your.

852
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 6: Wife of one of our kids, they didn't have any epidurals.

853
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:33,480
Speaker 1: The hospital had no epidemi.

854
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 2: The hospital had told me what the hospital and that's

855
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 2: where my wife delivered, which is where.

856
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 6: The hospital had no epidoros. So my wife had to

857
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 6: deliver the baby. Like you know, they could have went

858
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 6: and got one from another hospital, but she was already

859
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:46,800
Speaker 6: right there, so she ended up having a baby with

860
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 6: no epidural.

861
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 1: Like you mean, you know what I mean? Like that's

862
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: how I'm talking to.

863
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:54,000
Speaker 6: The people, you know, But when you have a doula,

864
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 6: a doula communicates in a different ways.

865
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 5: Them always love layah, and I will say my husband

866
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,840
Speaker 5: was like my due by the way, like my husband,

867
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,840
Speaker 5: I call him my dad doulah. We were in the bathroom,

868
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 5: we were in the shower for the majority of my labor.

869
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 5: He sat there with me and and labored with me.

870
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 5: It was the most it was the most beautiful experience

871
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,560
Speaker 5: for us as a couple. And I there was this

872
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 5: one like triumphant, amazing moment where I got into this

873
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 5: like deep meditative state. I was like in a trans

874
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 5: I was literally on another planet and I was just breathing, breathing, breathing,

875
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 5: and I got this like download where I thought, Okay,

876
00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 5: what happens if I don't react to the pain I

877
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:40,359
Speaker 5: feel the wave coming? What if I just breathe and

878
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:41,960
Speaker 5: just don't even react.

879
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 3: Is that possible? Let's try.

880
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 5: So I sat there and like every time I felt

881
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 5: like like tensing up or like my my my eyebrows furrowing,

882
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 5: or my hands, I just breathed into those areas and

883
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 5: I just tried to just smile and stay calm. And

884
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 5: I was a to do that through three or four contractions,

885
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 5: and my husband sitting right in front of me in

886
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 5: the shower, which, by the way, the shower is liquid epidural. Ladies,

887
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 5: listen up. The shower is liquid epidural.

888
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:13,919
Speaker 3: He takes your pain.

889
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 5: Yes, I was in the shower with the water on.

890
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 5: It took my pain from a seven to a two.

891
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:21,400
Speaker 5: It Why don't we tell women this? Why don't we

892
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 5: talk about this? Why do we act like epidura is

893
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 5: the only pain relief available to us.

894
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 3: It's not water is. It's the most natural thing.

895
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:30,359
Speaker 5: So I sat there and I'm having my water I'm

896
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:34,160
Speaker 5: having my like divine goddess, feminine, you know, divine, feminine moment.

897
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:37,520
Speaker 3: I'm sitting there feeling so powerful, so strong.

898
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 5: And my husband's sitting at like literally kneeling in front

899
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:42,439
Speaker 5: of me, looking at me, and he's and my eyes

900
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 5: were closed, and he taps me, and he's like, babe,

901
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:47,399
Speaker 5: do you think you're gonna have another one soon?

902
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 3: Is everything okay? And I just went I just had three?

903
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:55,960
Speaker 3: And he was like, damn.

904
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:58,279
Speaker 5: Like I never felt like more of a bad bitch

905
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 5: of my life, I'm telling you right now. Or if

906
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 5: I was like, yo, I could do anything, if I

907
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 5: can do this, and I swear to you, guys, that

908
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 5: lesson that just was deposited to me in labor is

909
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 5: something I think about every single day. When something happens

910
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 5: that makes me uncomfortable, that pisses me off, something a

911
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 5: challenge arises, I breathe into it, and I'm like, how

912
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 5: can I not react to this? How can I rise

913
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,479
Speaker 5: above this? How can I ride this wave versus letting

914
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 5: this wave take me down? These are things that these

915
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 5: are like just gems that would not have been unlocked

916
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 5: to me if I didn't allow myself, trust myself enough

917
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 5: to go through this process and allow my body to

918
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 5: do what it was meant to do. And I wish

919
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 5: more people talked about the spiritual side of birth, of

920
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 5: unmedicated birth.

921
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:45,800
Speaker 3: And it's not easy. I don't want to paint like

922
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 3: an unrealistic picture. It's not easy.

923
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 1: But we were.

924
00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:50,759
Speaker 5: Built to do hard things. And by the way, my

925
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,280
Speaker 5: baby was nine pounds Okay, so this is a nine

926
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:58,359
Speaker 5: pounds baby, big baby, unmedicated and I live to.

927
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,200
Speaker 3: Tell the story. And I didn't just survive, but I

928
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 3: thrive through it.

929
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:01,520
Speaker 1: Well.

930
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your story.

931
00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:06,279
Speaker 1: Watch the Conversation project on Hulu right now.

932
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 4: Elaine Walterorth, thank you so much.

933
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 3: Thank you guys.

934
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 4: It's the Breakfast Club, good morning, wake that ass up

935
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:13,320
Speaker 4: Earth in the morning.

936
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: The Breakfast Club