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Speaker 1: The Fresh Show is on, it's stay or go. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's see. So Griselda, that's what works. Griselda Blanco, Griselda Blanco,

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Speaker 1: the Kings of Cocaine. What do they call it? The oh,

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Speaker 1: the Godmother, the Godmother. Yeah, yeah, so that's who. That's

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Speaker 1: who's writing us. Is she even alive anymore? She's not

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Speaker 1: with him? She did she didn't write her son? Is

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Speaker 1: is cool though? Yeah? Because you know him? Yeah personally yeah,

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Speaker 1: you guys. You guys are moving money around together now,

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Speaker 1: not too much. So. This woman's name is Griselda. So

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Speaker 1: she listens every morning on her way to work and

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Speaker 1: did not want to be didn't want her voice heard

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Speaker 1: on the radio. I'm assuming this is a fake name.

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Speaker 1: Sorry if it's not, but you should have changed your

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Speaker 1: name or told us not to use it. It says

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Speaker 1: I've been with my boyfriend for about six years now

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Speaker 1: and he still hasn't proposed we don't live together. Kiki listening,

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Speaker 1: I am here. You pay attention to you, Griselda, Griselda Victoria.

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Speaker 1: Just read my letter. I mean, how long you been

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Speaker 1: with him? Six years? Wow? Okay, this is there's nothing

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Speaker 1: wrong with this. This is from ke Griselda. I know

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend for about six years now and he still

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Speaker 1: hasn't proposed. We don't live together, but we do spend

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Speaker 1: a lot of time together. I have tried talking to

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Speaker 1: him about the possibility of getting married, but he shies

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Speaker 1: away from the conversation. I know he loves me and

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Speaker 1: I love him too, but I also can't keep waiting

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Speaker 1: around should I stay or go? Kiki? This is a

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Speaker 1: should you stay or go? Is the question?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't live together now.

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Speaker 3: That's a big thing for me because you know, it's

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Speaker 3: like when you live together, you're contributing to things. So

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Speaker 3: as long as this you're happy. Sometimes well yeah, Jason,

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Speaker 3: let you.

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Speaker 1: You're not. You joke about that, but you are not

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Speaker 1: a freeloader. You do a lot of stuff, Yes you do,

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Speaker 1: and you must be just Bob in bed. You must

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Speaker 1: be just the man you've been living rent free for

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Speaker 1: fourteen years. You must put it down. That thing be

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Speaker 1: thanging anyway.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I think she should stay. But I think

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Speaker 3: she should have multiple boyfriends.

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Speaker 1: Oh boy, what what we go? Here? We go?

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Speaker 3: I think she should date, she should date, She should

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Speaker 3: date him and whoever else she wants to date.

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Speaker 2: What not.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but you were you were on some track about

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Speaker 1: how living together.

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Speaker 3: Because when you live together, I feel like it's a

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Speaker 3: little different, Like if you live together, you're in a

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Speaker 3: serious relationship. Hopefully he's paying some bills, pulling some weight,

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Speaker 3: so it's like, you know, hey, we're a little bit

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Speaker 3: more committed.

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Speaker 1: But if I had my babe. Please no, I'm not

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Speaker 1: talking about you, Kiki, And this is truly I'm playing

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Speaker 1: Devil's advocate. Yes, but some would say that living together

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Speaker 1: makes it even less appealing to get engaged. Because now

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Speaker 1: I don't agree with this. I believe that you should.

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Speaker 1: I personally think that I would want to live with

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Speaker 1: somebody before I marry them, and that's not because dishes

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Speaker 1: in the sink are going to determine from marrying the person.

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Speaker 1: I just think that's one step towards sort of act

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Speaker 1: mating to then the next I think if you do

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Speaker 1: it all at once, that's just a lot. And there

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Speaker 1: are people listening right now going no, you got to

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Speaker 1: do it all at once, because it's like, hey, we're married,

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Speaker 1: now we're living together like it just is what it is,

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Speaker 1: and you deal with them as opposed to petty things

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Speaker 1: getting in the way of the relationship. But for me,

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Speaker 1: I'd feel more comfortable living with someone, getting that all

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Speaker 1: organized and sort of you know, feeling comfortable about that,

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Speaker 1: and then getting married. But some would say without a

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Speaker 1: ring or any plan for the future, that you're kind

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Speaker 1: of just playing house and the dude never has to

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Speaker 1: propose because he's getting all he's getting all the benefits already.

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Speaker 3: I agree, one hundred percent. I agree with that. I

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Speaker 3: agree with that statement. I think it's one hundred percent true.

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Speaker 3: If you truly want marriage, don't move in together.

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Speaker 1: Do you regret letting Tim move into your house? Absolutely not, Okay,

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Speaker 1: but you want to be married to him one day? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So then that contradicts what you just said.

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Speaker 3: No, it doesn't, because I can desire your marriage, but

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Speaker 3: I don't regret him being there. Like I've been able

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Speaker 3: to accomplish some amazing things and get some things that

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Speaker 3: I needed to get settled in my life because I

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Speaker 3: had a partner that supported of living with me.

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Speaker 1: You don't agree that it may have slowed down the process.

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Speaker 3: It's slowed down the process for marriage. Okay, yeah, enough

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Speaker 3: for marriage, but the process is still the process, and

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Speaker 3: you know it'll eventually happen one day or eventually won't.

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Speaker 3: But as long as you're not married, you're technically a

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Speaker 3: single woman. You know how I feel about that. And

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Speaker 3: for Griselda especially not living together. Girl, you need to date.

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Speaker 1: It's funny her middle name is, her name is Victoria

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Speaker 1: girl in the streets? What Rufio, she shouldn't date.

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Speaker 4: You're telling people that if they're single in the relationship,

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Speaker 4: they should be dating other people.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean, bad, Toxico? What's that bad? Because

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Speaker 1: she's in a relationship with this dude.

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Speaker 3: But she wants, she wants to be married, and he's not.

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Speaker 3: He doesn't seem interested in that.

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Speaker 1: So what is she supposed to do? That's a conversation

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Speaker 1: that he needs to have. Whatever.

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Speaker 4: Like, if they've been together six years, fine, I proposed

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Speaker 4: to jest after seven years. I mean, it's it's well financially,

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Speaker 4: I wasn't ready. I was, you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 4: Like it took a while.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't where I wanted to be at my career,

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Speaker 4: and we were living together, and I wanted to be

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Speaker 4: able to afford a wedding and stuff like that and

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Speaker 4: the ring.

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Speaker 1: That's what I said. Did you communicate though, Did you

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Speaker 1: communicate this with her though, Like, did you guys sit

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Speaker 1: down at some stage before that and say, hey, look,

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Speaker 1: this is I do want to marry you, but here

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Speaker 1: are my goals and here's what I'm working out.

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Speaker 4: No, I mean, we always knew that we were going

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Speaker 4: to marry each other. It's just that I wanted to

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Speaker 4: get it right. I didn't want to rush into it

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Speaker 4: and and be like, yo, I'm.

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Speaker 1: I'm taking out money for this ring.

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Speaker 4: Then I got to pay for this, and I got

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Speaker 4: to pay this every month.

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Speaker 1: Then I got to pay for a wedding note. So

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Speaker 1: it's never a conversation. You never talked about it. I

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Speaker 1: mean we've talked.

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Speaker 4: We talked about marriage, but not not that I'm not

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Speaker 4: going to propose you now because I'm not financially ready.

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Speaker 1: No, just you know, I just did it when I

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Speaker 1: thought I was already give you an ultimatum over those

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Speaker 1: seven years.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, she joked about it because like it took her

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Speaker 4: sister her was I think maybe thirteen years, thirteen years

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Speaker 4: before they were high school sweethearts.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it took him that long. So she's like,

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Speaker 1: I give you half.

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Speaker 4: That was a joke that kind of thing is I

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Speaker 4: did it at like art seven year deadline, which.

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Speaker 1: Was very same. So eight five, five, five, nine, one

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Speaker 1: one three five stare ago. This woman with her boyfriend

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Speaker 1: for six years. They don't live together. She wants to

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Speaker 1: marry him, he doesn't want to have the conversation. She

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Speaker 1: acknowledges that they that she believes they're both in love.

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Speaker 1: She's in love and he loves her. But hey, she's ready,

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Speaker 1: and I think after six years that's a very fair

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Speaker 1: conversation to have, oh yes, and very an opportunity for

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Speaker 1: clear communication about intentions. I do not think that she's unreasonable.

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Speaker 1: So she wants that, right.

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Speaker 5: That's the thing Like if the woman or man, whoever

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Speaker 5: in the situation wants it, I think you need to

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Speaker 5: express your needs.

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Speaker 1: That's something really important.

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Speaker 5: And I also do think that I personally feel if

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Speaker 5: I was to do this again, I wouldn't live with

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Speaker 5: a boyfriend. I had a great experience because I ended

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Speaker 5: up getting married and we're in a healthy marriage. I

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Speaker 5: would never play house again at this big age. I

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Speaker 5: feel like for me, that's not I would never want

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Speaker 5: to give somebody that impression that like okay, like we're

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Speaker 5: gonna be fine.

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Speaker 1: Here if you don't give me the ring. If that's

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Speaker 1: what I want, right, let's just say.

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Speaker 5: But I always say too, why if I get divorced,

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Speaker 5: I'm not doing this again.

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely not doing the marathon again. So we'll see.

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Speaker 5: I think I'm gonna just live like my mom when

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Speaker 5: she just has her own place, her own house, her

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Speaker 5: own things, and have my little boyfriend come over whatever.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know. I feel like playing house is dangerous. Well,

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Speaker 1: and on my we have the Fred Show constitution that

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Speaker 1: I have the fread the Personal Tank Commandments, and of

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Speaker 1: those ten commandments, one is never never present an ultimatum.

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Speaker 1: Never present an ultimatum, because you will learn to regret.

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Speaker 1: You will live to regret that. Because I believe that

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Speaker 1: if you go to somebody and say male or female

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Speaker 1: and say you do this or yeah, then you got

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Speaker 1: there's two things they're gonna happen. They're either gonna do

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Speaker 1: it and you're always gonna wonder if that's what they

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Speaker 1: wanted to do, or they're not gonna do it, and

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Speaker 1: then you have to make a decision I'm gone or

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Speaker 1: if I stay. Now my word means nothing because if

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Speaker 1: you say you either you proposed to me, we're getting

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Speaker 1: married or I'm out, and then the person doesn't says okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to do it, and then you you said,

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Speaker 1: oh well fine, I'll stay. Then I'm sorry, but they don't.

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Speaker 1: The ultimatums won't work anymore. So and again I would

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Speaker 1: hate to wonder and even if it works out years

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Speaker 1: down the road, like did he or she really want that?

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Speaker 1: Or did I force it?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Have you had conversations with Big Tim about marriage?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all the time.

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Speaker 3: He wants to be married, but like you said, financially,

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Speaker 3: he's just not in a position to do it the

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Speaker 3: way he wants to do it for me. And it

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Speaker 3: feels like I require a lot and I do. And so,

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Speaker 3: you know, hopefully on his timing it's in the right time.

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Speaker 3: But if it's not, if it's not in my time,

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Speaker 3: and then I'm moving on.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, Kiki. So he says financially

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Speaker 1: that he isn't quite ready. Yeah, do you how long

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Speaker 1: has he been saying this year? No, we haven't been

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Speaker 1: talking about it that long.

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Speaker 3: Because there was like goals, like he wanted to help

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Speaker 3: me buy my house, he wanted to help me get

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Speaker 3: the car, I want it. So once those things were

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Speaker 3: a com but she was like, Okay, now my new

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Speaker 3: focus is us getting.

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Speaker 1: Me for a year maybe. Yeah. Do you do you

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Speaker 1: ever watch his spending and be like, now, hold on,

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Speaker 1: oh yes, because if that if you're telling me that

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Speaker 1: you're saving, then what are you doing with that airplane

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Speaker 1: you just bought? Literally that's the same thing.

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Speaker 3: But but he always blames it on me because I

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Speaker 3: have a problem with booking vacations that I don't consult

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Speaker 3: him about and he's like, okay, so we're going to

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Speaker 3: Turks and Caicos. You do understand that that's a couple

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Speaker 3: of brand that you know, we weren't planning for.

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Speaker 1: We still have regular bills.

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Speaker 3: So it's things that in the relationship you have to

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Speaker 3: compromise on, Like if I truly want to ring, I

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Speaker 3: gotta stop booking vacations and spending his money.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I feel like if somebody were saying to me,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it, I just got to save money,

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Speaker 1: and then they're always buying stuff on Amazon and I

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Speaker 1: don't know's with different money. Wait, man, hold on, hold up,

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Speaker 1: hold up that right there is like a tenth of

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Speaker 1: a character. We're on our way and you're spending it Emily,

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Speaker 1: good morning.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Hey, how's it going.

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Speaker 1: Hey stayre go, Welcome to the show. Thanks for being

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Speaker 1: part of the thirteen.

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Speaker 2: By the way, Oh, I mean I love it. I

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Speaker 2: also had a dog with me. If he can't say

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Speaker 2: fourteen or thirteen and they came home we're.

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Speaker 1: Including dogs, then we're in really good shape. But I

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Speaker 1: don't think we are anyway. Sorry, go ahead, No, you're good.

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Speaker 2: Basically everything Keky just okay. So everything Kekey was saying,

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Speaker 2: it's about communication and also like she has a firm

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Speaker 2: reason and she's had conversations with Big tim. It sounds

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Speaker 2: like this girl has asked and he's just dodged a question, right,

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Speaker 2: I'd be One thing is like he could absolu like

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Speaker 2: hes like there's the fact that there's a no clear

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Speaker 2: conversation or like clear goals like he said, like that's

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Speaker 2: a huge red flag. It'd be. One thing is like

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Speaker 2: he you know, did like say he wanted to you know,

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Speaker 2: no debt or put down payment on a house whatever.

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Speaker 2: So like the fact that she just has gotten no

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Speaker 2: solid answer or clear communication.

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Speaker 6: Is just she needs to go.

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Speaker 1: I got it.

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Speaker 2: I don't if they can't have that conversation after six years,

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Speaker 2: like there's just some fundamental communication issues.

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Speaker 1: I agree, I have six years. He needs to have

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Speaker 1: some kind of answer either I'm not ready, or I

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Speaker 1: need more time, or I need more money, or or

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do it or something. He's got

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Speaker 1: to tell her something. But after this period of time,

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Speaker 1: for him just to ignore it like it's not happening,

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Speaker 1: that's not a good right. I feel like he.

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Speaker 2: Might have the answer also that oh he was hoping

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Speaker 2: to change his mind and he would want to get

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Speaker 2: married one day, but it hasn't happened yet, because that's

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Speaker 2: also not fair to her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree, Emily. Thank you have a good day,

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Speaker 1: you too, Glad you called. Thanks for listening. Hi, Nina

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Speaker 1: going almighty? Mean NA stay or go? What should Griselda

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Speaker 1: kik you do?

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Speaker 7: And it does like what you say.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I waited five years in our relationship, had two kids,

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Speaker 1: would a dude, and.

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Speaker 2: It went absolutely nowhere.

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Speaker 1: I met him when I was eighteen, lefton when I

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Speaker 1: was twenty four.

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Speaker 2: The five years of my life is basically what Kiki's

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Speaker 2: that you're playing house with someone up until they're basically

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Speaker 2: like okay, Well you know, we don't want to do it.

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Speaker 1: Did he tell you that he didn't want to do it? Like,

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Speaker 1: did you guys talk about it? He was like soon,

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Speaker 1: maybe someday whatever, or did he just never? Oh no,

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Speaker 1: we've talked about it.

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Speaker 7: I basically quote him, no, I want to ring And

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Speaker 7: he's like, well, you know, and at one point you

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Speaker 7: get of stuff.

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Speaker 2: You gotta figure it out for yourself.

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Speaker 1: You gotta you gotta basically that ultim Yeah, and he's

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Speaker 1: not gonna waste your time. Anina, Hey, thank you. By

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Speaker 1: the way, you find did you get married to somebody else?

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Speaker 1: Or what did you wind up doing? Meet somebody else?

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Speaker 2: I'm living my best to go girl life.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a good day? Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for calling Anna. Good morning, Good morning, hi Anna stare Go.

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Speaker 1: What do you think Griselda Kekey Makeitha should do?

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Speaker 7: I think she should stay, but she needs they need

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Speaker 7: to have a serious conversation. I think, you know it's

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Speaker 7: been said like she it doesn't seem like they've had that,

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Speaker 7: and she needs to make her expectations clear. I was

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Speaker 7: in before I moved in with my boyfriend. I had

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Speaker 7: that conversation of like, I'm only going to give it

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Speaker 7: three years in this relationship, and I know you don't

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Speaker 7: like ultimatum. It wasn't an ultimatum. It was just making

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Speaker 7: my expectations clear that I expect our relationship to be

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Speaker 7: at the point where we're ready to get married by

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Speaker 7: three years. And he ended up proposing at two and

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Speaker 7: a half.

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Speaker 2: So it's worked out.

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Speaker 7: We're engaged now. But I think she needs to make

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Speaker 7: her expectations clear with him, and if he's not ready,

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Speaker 7: then she needs to go.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you got to I agree. I think

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Speaker 1: you got to communicate, you know, and you have a

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Speaker 1: right to change your mind. But if that's somebody's aspiration

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Speaker 1: to be married and it's not yours, you're right. I mean,

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Speaker 1: at what point do you say I And especially when

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Speaker 1: it comes to maybe she wants kids or something like that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I do understand that that women at a

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Speaker 1: certain point in their lives are like, hey, look, there's

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Speaker 1: only so much time for me to do this. And

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Speaker 1: it's nothing against you, but it's like I want to

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Speaker 1: do it, So what are we doing?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 1: And I think six years is pretty generous.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: I think it also depends on the age. If they're younger,

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Speaker 7: maybe you know, they need more time. But if she's

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Speaker 7: a if they're a full ground adult, then six years

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Speaker 7: is a long time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Anna, thank you, thanks for listening. Have a

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Speaker 1: great day. Yeah, I love you too. Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny. Hey, Fred,

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Speaker 1: you've been with somebody for ten you've been with the

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Speaker 1: man or a woman? Ten years? Partner? Yeah, okay, woman

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Speaker 1: after ten years? She's you're a woman. But how are

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Speaker 1: you getting away with that? Are you guys on the

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Speaker 1: same page?

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Speaker 2: I'm a man.

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Speaker 1: No, I well we got that part, but are you

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Speaker 1: Are you guys on the same page about this? Or

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Speaker 1: does she want to be married and you've just gotten

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Speaker 1: away with a decade?

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Speaker 6: No, we're engaged, Fred, the only being.

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Speaker 2: Just like Keith said, we do vacationing way too much.

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Speaker 1: Now do you agree on that, Danny? Do you guys

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Speaker 1: are agreed that you're spending your money on stuff that

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Speaker 1: could go towards the wedding and you said that you

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Speaker 1: can't afford it? Or is she like, hey, come on,

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Speaker 1: that's an excuse, excuse.

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Speaker 6: So usually I'm allowed only about a week and vacation.

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Speaker 6: I actually have to take another week vacation, non paid,

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Speaker 6: just so we can go on another vacation.

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Speaker 1: There's the money, are you guys? My question though, is

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Speaker 1: does she agree with this or is she like, no,

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Speaker 1: you're making excuses, Danny.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, she's making exactly she should be like, now you're

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Speaker 6: making excuses?

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Speaker 1: Are you making excuses?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 6: Okay, perfect example. We had like twenty five hundred, says

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Speaker 6: towards it. Next you know, the athy went out and

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Speaker 6: now I got to spend the money on the ethy.

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Speaker 1: Of the house. Okay, but let me ask you this,

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Speaker 1: after ten years, if you really want to be married,

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Speaker 1: you could do it for free. You could go get

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Speaker 1: married right now for the cost of a marriage license

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Speaker 1: if you wanted to. So, Fred, we like to.

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Speaker 6: Party like a lot. We're Mexican, so you know we're

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Speaker 6: thinking about you know, Abanda worth, thinking about a hall

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Speaker 6: in a you know which is ranch. Yeah, you know right,

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Speaker 6: we're gonna about.

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Speaker 1: Ten thousand, get that time out. Ten thousand. That's nothing

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Speaker 1: for a wedding.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, if you could do well, we know some people

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Speaker 6: that can do it for the low.

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Speaker 1: That's right. I see. So basically you're saying you wouldn't

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Speaker 1: get away with just being married, Like it's got to

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Speaker 1: be a production and it's gonna take money. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: I think I want to be invited in this wedding

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Speaker 1: by with the bond.

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Speaker 6: We're gonna have a good.

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Speaker 1: Time, okay, good, all right, Well wait ten years, but

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Speaker 1: you let me know if I'm still alive, I'll be there.

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Speaker 1: Okay he is from that, Yeah, hopefully if you I mean,

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Speaker 1: I can getting a hall in a banda right now,

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Speaker 1: if you want. I mean, we know something that I

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Speaker 1: know some people. They know some people from the low

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Speaker 1: I mean, Danny, I get on even the lower than

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Speaker 1: low exactly, James Brown, we can do it. Friday. He's

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Speaker 1: a man, Fred, he's a man, and so he said

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Speaker 1: man just to be exacally. I love you, David,