Speaker 1: The Nicky Glizer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am
Speaker 1: welcome to the the show. It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. It's Tuesday.
Speaker 1: We're doing two a week. Guys. I hope you you
Speaker 1: like that. Um, we love it. It's a perfect medium.
Speaker 1: It's not one a week, it's not four a week.
Speaker 1: It's two a week. How do you guys feel about that? Um?
Speaker 1: Anya and Noah are here. It's good. It's a good amount,
Speaker 1: right to a week. DOGI dodgy dodgy. So Anya has
Speaker 1: been watching a lot of Love is Blind Brazil and
Speaker 1: that is the Um that's how I think. That's how
Speaker 1: Portuguese sounds to me. They say dodgy, dodgy, Ugi, dodgy, doggy,
Speaker 1: dodgy a lot, and Um I got into watching Love
Speaker 1: is Blind Brazil, and UM, yeah, it's they don't say
Speaker 1: as much as I thought. I forget. I remember was
Speaker 1: the the movie Citizen four, Remember that movie about Um
Speaker 1: Edwards and one of the journalists in it, Glenn Greenwald,
Speaker 1: is Portuguese and was talking and I was like, there's
Speaker 1: so many dogs. And then that's where I formulated that
Speaker 1: um stereotype. And then it's not but Portuguese is a
Speaker 1: beautiful language. I've been watching Love Is Blind Brazil on
Speaker 1: you Have you watched new episodes or that? Have they
Speaker 1: come out? I think they're coming out tomorrow, the last ones. Okay,
Speaker 1: I might not even finish the show because I don't.
Speaker 1: So the reason that I don't feel like i'll watch
Speaker 1: new ones is because I don't care, like you know,
Speaker 1: like they If they would have just recent leased them all,
Speaker 1: I would have probably gone right into the I would
Speaker 1: have watched them all. But this like sparingly handing them out,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's the right move Netflix. I've
Speaker 1: already lost interest in everyone halfway through watching Love is
Speaker 1: Blind Brazil, having to pay ardent attention to all of
Speaker 1: the subtitles because you cannot be on your phone watching
Speaker 1: the show because there's a dooges and you don't know
Speaker 1: what any of it is. And you don't realize how
Speaker 1: much you watch these reality shows like half Asked until
Speaker 1: they take away the language that you speak. And then
Speaker 1: I had the subtitles up, and so i'd have to
Speaker 1: pause it and go back, and you know, you would
Speaker 1: just be some worthless information like she just said, like
Speaker 1: her favorite color is green or something, and I had
Speaker 1: to go back and be like, what got what got
Speaker 1: miscommunicated here? So then I switched over to English dub
Speaker 1: over and that changed everything, except you know, it takes
Speaker 1: away their voices in Portuguese are kind of muted. You
Speaker 1: can still hear it, but it takes away from it
Speaker 1: a little bit to have like different voices of the actors.
Speaker 1: Are they pretty effective or is it like effective? I
Speaker 1: thought it would be like you know, um anime dub
Speaker 1: where it's just like so not with the matt like
Speaker 1: it's it's overacting or something. But it was furious at him. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: exactly it was, But I don't know it's I was
Speaker 1: wrong too it because on the girl's chat you were
Speaker 1: telling us that you loved it because you could see
Speaker 1: the differences in what different cultures were like into and
Speaker 1: what they celebrated and how they communicated versus watching Love
Speaker 1: is Blind American, Like, what what did you find? And
Speaker 1: let me just see if I co sign on that. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, a lot of the women are tattooed
Speaker 1: and and guys seem to love it. Yeah, they have
Speaker 1: like some girls have like chess tattoos. Remember the Bigger Girl,
Speaker 1: she had a lot of tattoos like towards so chest
Speaker 1: some arms. Girls. No, once they get into their swimsuits,
Speaker 1: you'll see, oh yeah, we haven't gotten the swimsuits because
Speaker 1: they went on their honeymoon. They're like post engagement honeymoon
Speaker 1: to the Amazon rainforest and which we didn't tell you.
Speaker 1: If you want to see the weirdest okay, everyone has
Speaker 1: to watch us. Go watch Love Is Blind Brazil. I
Speaker 1: wish I had the minute mark when they tell these
Speaker 1: people who are from Brazil that they are going to
Speaker 1: be spending their engagement honeymoon. You know, after they get engaged,
Speaker 1: they're going to go off on vacation to test the waters.
Speaker 1: And they tell them it's going to be in the
Speaker 1: Amazon rainforest in Brazil, by the way, and they are
Speaker 1: around the clues. They're fucking minds. I've never it was
Speaker 1: honestly like telling a bunch of men they were going
Speaker 1: to go to space, because I would say just people,
Speaker 1: but women don't want to go to space. There's like
Speaker 1: it's three of us that want to be equivalent of
Speaker 1: the confusion I feel watching The Bachelor Bachelor I whenever
Speaker 1: they reveal they're going to take them on a helicopter
Speaker 1: ride They're like screaming, who is excited to take a helicopter?
Speaker 1: I mean, I've taken one before, and I just go,
Speaker 1: Should I get a picture before I die? Like? Should
Speaker 1: I get Am I in a good enough condition right now?
Speaker 1: Do I look cute enough that this can be the
Speaker 1: final photo that runs on Daily Mail tomorrow and gets
Speaker 1: pushed down to like the twentie story after everyone gets
Speaker 1: over my death? But so is it romantic to be
Speaker 1: in the loudest mode of transport ever with? It's like
Speaker 1: being in the club, Dude, you can't talk. That's why
Speaker 1: clubs are great. There's no communication, it's all body language.
Speaker 1: You gotta get real close to each other to talk.
Speaker 1: I was wondered why clubs are so fucking loud, and
Speaker 1: it's because people got to get up in each other's
Speaker 1: ears too. There's intimacy locked into like communicating in the
Speaker 1: club and you don't have to talk because no one
Speaker 1: in there has anything interesting to say anyways, Like you know,
Speaker 1: and that's what the excruciating part about first dates is,
Speaker 1: like what are we going to talk about? You know,
Speaker 1: like keeping that convo going? And I'm a conversationalist by trade,
Speaker 1: and I would even stress about it. So I think
Speaker 1: the first date in like a movie theater where you
Speaker 1: don't have to talk, but you can talk afterwards, because yes,
Speaker 1: if I don't like the guy, sure, but if I
Speaker 1: like the guy, I'm just like, I want to chat
Speaker 1: all night, all day long, you know, and I and
Speaker 1: I get annoyed, Like Chris and I were talking. Actually
Speaker 1: yesterday I did his radio show and you can listen
Speaker 1: to it on We did like an after show podcast,
Speaker 1: but you can. Let's do it on The Courtney Show.
Speaker 1: It's the show itself streams. And then we didn't a
Speaker 1: podcast for afterwards where I talked about more intimate things,
Speaker 1: but we're talking about um. She can't watch TV with
Speaker 1: her partners sometimes because he snipes the whole time. He's
Speaker 1: making fun of it the whole time. He has comments
Speaker 1: the entire show, and she's like, I have to purposely
Speaker 1: watch shows without him when he's gone because I can't
Speaker 1: stand the sniping because it ruins a show for me.
Speaker 1: I like, find out this person is a bad actor.
Speaker 1: I found out they had do a weird tick, or
Speaker 1: they keep they whisper the whole time. There's a show
Speaker 1: that she can't watch now because she's he was like,
Speaker 1: they whisper the whole time. She goes, God, they do whisper,
Speaker 1: but she would never have noticed it. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'm so grateful. I have a partner
Speaker 1: who constantly wants to talk during shows with me. Now,
Speaker 1: now movie. And I told that to him yesterday. I
Speaker 1: was like, you love talking, Like, have I ever annoyed
Speaker 1: you during a TV show? Please let me know. Because
Speaker 1: I can be a little much. We all know that.
Speaker 1: And if I have enough caffeine and I'm in the
Speaker 1: right mood, it's diet. But I always paused the show
Speaker 1: and sometimes he talks and I'll pose it and he goes,
Speaker 1: you don't need to pose it. And because it's good,
Speaker 1: you know, we have a good communication. I don't want
Speaker 1: to watch a show if I can't snipe. I don't
Speaker 1: want I can't watch things alone, as you guys know.
Speaker 1: And then we but he said, when if we go
Speaker 1: to the theater, I hate people talking to the theater
Speaker 1: because it's rude to others around us. And I do
Speaker 1: get that. So at the theater I talk very very quietly,
Speaker 1: and I picked my battles. I don't like get my
Speaker 1: phone out. I'm very courteous of others, but I will
Speaker 1: whisper in a zeer. I don't what Elvis. That's one
Speaker 1: thing I did um say during Elvis because I had
Speaker 1: taken a little too much micro dosing that day and
Speaker 1: I really didn't want Elvis to die. I remember that day,
Speaker 1: remember getting text from you. You're like, I'm crying so
Speaker 1: much during Elvis. You have to watch it. And then later,
Speaker 1: like a couple of days later, you're like, I'm watching
Speaker 1: Elvis again and I'm weeping again. No, I loved it
Speaker 1: so much. And I don't even know if it was
Speaker 1: a mushroom. I really there are certain things I was,
Speaker 1: you know, microw dosing that day, but there are certain
Speaker 1: things that do and micro dose saying if you don't
Speaker 1: know it, just it can amplify the laughter, and it
Speaker 1: can amplify your gratitude, it can amplify emotions just to
Speaker 1: like a tinge. It's not like I'm like, whack a
Speaker 1: do So it may have had an effect on it,
Speaker 1: but I liked it. I mean, I think that was
Speaker 1: a north There was there's another movie that I did
Speaker 1: that too, in eighth grade, and I was not microw dosing.
Speaker 1: I had maybe had like too much sugar that day,
Speaker 1: or something from the sweet Factory, or like you know,
Speaker 1: eaten fourteen macro dose peach rings. Those sugar peatings are
Speaker 1: those long strips of just sugar. Um City of Angels.
Speaker 1: The ending of that movie, I couldn't catch my breath.
Speaker 1: I was sobbing so hard. I don't know what the
Speaker 1: funk was going on in my life that day, but
Speaker 1: it was acred and I remember my friends looking at
Speaker 1: each other like it was I remember the credits were
Speaker 1: rolling and I couldn't get it together. I was just
Speaker 1: so sad they couldn't be together. Spoiler alert, Is that
Speaker 1: the one where she gets good? No, that's with Mark Ruffalo.
Speaker 1: You're got to see that penis shot Meg Meg Ryan
Speaker 1: gets naked. Yeah, and he gets naked. Oh. I love
Speaker 1: Mark Ruffalo, But I don't mind. Do you don't like snipe?
Speaker 1: But you like watching shows with me? Oh? I love
Speaker 1: watching a show with you because I just get in
Speaker 1: the mindset of like we're gonna I'm gonna be entertained
Speaker 1: the whole time and I get to partake too. But
Speaker 1: you when you watch Love Is Blind for me, I
Speaker 1: was texting you the whole time I was watching it.
Speaker 1: That was so fun. Remember when we watched That Couldn't
Speaker 1: Talk Together. I was peeing my pants. It was so fun.
Speaker 1: But if it's the Oscars, I need to be alone
Speaker 1: in an airtight room with nobody around, or like one
Speaker 1: other movie. But blame to me, honestly, like you really
Speaker 1: got he's going on at the Oscars that you need
Speaker 1: to rely so much. Okay, so maybe like back when
Speaker 1: you were like a cinophile, but like, honestly, kind of
Speaker 1: the whole thing about the that these everyone feels so
Speaker 1: self important at these things and that it's just the
Speaker 1: don't you kind of roll your eyes at it now?
Speaker 1: Like I used to put the Oscars up on the
Speaker 1: shelf too, But you go to these things and you
Speaker 1: just realize it's people playing dress up. It's not real,
Speaker 1: it's in These people are just actors. Why are we
Speaker 1: acting like their royalty? And again royalty is even of
Speaker 1: construct that we've invented, Like I just, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: the slap last year was phenomenal. I don't know how
Speaker 1: they're going to top that, but that was I mean,
Speaker 1: the Oscars have been wild. We had the Slap and
Speaker 1: then we also had I remember thinking it couldn't get better.
Speaker 1: Then when they announced the wrong best picture that was
Speaker 1: great man, that was a flub. I love to see.
Speaker 1: That was so fun. Didn't that happen two years in
Speaker 1: a row? It was with like or I think. And
Speaker 1: then after this slap, there was the after slap of
Speaker 1: finding out which of your friends were like pro Will
Speaker 1: Smith and which ones were anti Will Smith. I almost
Speaker 1: lost a friend over that whole thing. It was that
Speaker 1: kind of on me. The Oscar that was that was
Speaker 1: a break in everything we know to be true. It
Speaker 1: was one of It was just it was like nine
Speaker 1: eleven in the sense of like I didn't know something
Speaker 1: like this could happen, you know what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 1: you didn't know we could be We'd never seen it
Speaker 1: on our in America. We've never seen an attack like that.
Speaker 1: We didn't know what could happen. I met someone whose
Speaker 1: sister died in I talked to yesterday, so it's oars
Speaker 1: to it is comparable, and I think people will get
Speaker 1: acreft you just it left you afterwards the day after.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's it's tragic, Please don't misquote me.
Speaker 1: I'm saying it was just like this can happen. Someone
Speaker 1: can walk on stage on Life TV and slap another person.
Speaker 1: It was I mean, you guys were there, you all like,
Speaker 1: and it's I would say, everyone remembers where they were.
Speaker 1: Another one of those things with Chris Rock Kurt Cobain's death.
Speaker 1: I was with my two eight year old parents and
Speaker 1: they're like, that was a joke. I'm like, that was
Speaker 1: not a joke. It's like when people always go, is
Speaker 1: that a bit when I have the most uncomfortable moment
Speaker 1: on stage of my life? If something happens unprompted, like
Speaker 1: the mic cord will drop out of the mic and
Speaker 1: I'll do nothing funny about it, They go, what did
Speaker 1: that planned? Oh? That moment where I shot myself on
Speaker 1: the stage and then I ran off crying and then
Speaker 1: the show was delayed forty five minutes. That, oh yeah, great.
Speaker 1: That was a bit like New Year's Eve. People were
Speaker 1: asking me at the merch with did Nicky plan to
Speaker 1: forget the last verse of the song? I was like,
Speaker 1: You'll never know, why would I do that? It was
Speaker 1: hilarious because it was so funny the way you vamped
Speaker 1: and you were trying to find the lyrics. You're like,
Speaker 1: hold on logging into my Gmail. Yeah, whenever that happens.
Speaker 1: I just you's so funny when you feel the audience
Speaker 1: feel nervous for you and then gets clench and then
Speaker 1: you go no. And then I would check in with
Speaker 1: myself and I go, I'm not nervous. I just have
Speaker 1: to look for this fucking email in front of three
Speaker 1: thousand people. I just have to download my Gmail app
Speaker 1: and go to the app store while also creating dialogue
Speaker 1: while I'm doing it and making you know, like, but
Speaker 1: I had to check it with myself and be like,
Speaker 1: am I nervous? Am I worried about this? Am I
Speaker 1: embarrassed at this? No? And so I say the audience like,
Speaker 1: I know this seems like it's embarrassing. It's I promise
Speaker 1: you I decide that it is not. I'm not embarrassed
Speaker 1: right now. I mean I didn't say that in that
Speaker 1: many words, but there are times on stage where something
Speaker 1: I'll seem to lose control of the audience, and if
Speaker 1: I don't, if it really is embarrassing, you'll know because
Speaker 1: I won't say that. But if it's not, I'll just
Speaker 1: be like everyone calmed out, like, I know it seems
Speaker 1: I'm not awkward, so you should You're just so much
Speaker 1: of embarrassment is yeah, second hand embarrassment for someone else.
Speaker 1: You just worry, like, oh my god, they're so awkward. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so love is blame Brazil. I don't know if I'll
Speaker 1: go back to it. I am knee deep in Prince
Speaker 1: Harry's book. I'm a third of the way through. That's
Speaker 1: why I like reading on my phone because you can
Speaker 1: kind of get a person like percentages of like hard numbers.
Speaker 1: I read it read. I mean, this book is gigantic too.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how many pages it equates
Speaker 1: to in a normal book, but I think it's a
Speaker 1: it's a thicky, thick and uh I read. I probably
Speaker 1: read it for four hours last night, and I couldn't
Speaker 1: I couldn't stop. Did you know that the book was
Speaker 1: coming out? When I got an alert on my phone?
Speaker 1: I pre ordered it and then all of a sudden
Speaker 1: I saw group and it was like, did you know
Speaker 1: it was coming out when Megan and Harry came No,
Speaker 1: I don't know that it was announced. How weird that
Speaker 1: both things came out around the same time. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean they're they have a pr This is the Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: here we go here we go, I want to get
Speaker 1: me to get going on this only if you say it.
Speaker 1: Reason every reason we don't like Harry Megan is because
Speaker 1: we think they're calculated. We go, oh, this is calculated.
Speaker 1: What is wrong with calculation? What is wrong with going?
Speaker 1: I want something, I'm gonna figure out a way to
Speaker 1: get it. Where did that become a bad thing? All
Speaker 1: I see on Instagram all day long is people like
Speaker 1: Ja Shetty and ed my Let and fucking that that
Speaker 1: one smart the the guy that talks about the stoic way.
Speaker 1: All they talk about is like, you gotta go after
Speaker 1: what you want, fight for what you want, never let up,
Speaker 1: don't ever take any rejection. But the second a pretty
Speaker 1: woman and a prince get a pr company and do
Speaker 1: the right thing for themselves because they're act like or
Speaker 1: the second prince, I am on a crusade for Mega Markele.
Speaker 1: I am so tired of that. It's true. What what
Speaker 1: does she do wrong? Even if you say, oh, she
Speaker 1: wanted to be a royal? Who do you not want
Speaker 1: to be a fucking royal? If you have to fall
Speaker 1: in love with the guy, if you happen to fall
Speaker 1: in love with a guy who happened to be a prince.
Speaker 1: Would you not think about the guy you listener, or
Speaker 1: the girl or the them that you are in love with.
Speaker 1: Did you ever do anything to maybe get them to
Speaker 1: like you? Did you ever want maybe their attention and
Speaker 1: modify your look in a certain way, or show up
Speaker 1: late or not respond to a text. We've all done it.
Speaker 1: We've all been calculated to get what we want in
Speaker 1: our careers, in our love lives. Megan did the same
Speaker 1: thing we all do. Stop faulting her. You're jealous, and
Speaker 1: as someone who used to be jealous of her, I
Speaker 1: am now, I'm I am part I was part of
Speaker 1: the problem. I'm you everyone who doesn't like her, You're
Speaker 1: jealous and uh, there's no other way about it. You
Speaker 1: just you can't really pinpoint where you don't like her.
Speaker 1: You don't like her because she seems to have everything
Speaker 1: handed to her. She seems to have connived her way
Speaker 1: into something. Prince Harry is such an upstanding young man
Speaker 1: who went through such a tragic, tragic loss, got no
Speaker 1: support for it, never once got a hug about it,
Speaker 1: losing his mother from his father, not as much as
Speaker 1: a hug, never was able to cry about it. Except
Speaker 1: one time where there were no cameras around. He cried
Speaker 1: one time about his mother and um and then it
Speaker 1: was shipped off to boarding school, had no comfort from
Speaker 1: his brother. His brother didn't want to even talk to him.
Speaker 1: Borders school, classic boy thing. Then he went into the
Speaker 1: he he was hounded by paparazzi. He at the age
Speaker 1: of fourteen. It was speculated that his mother had him
Speaker 1: with one of her bodyguards, which was impossible to even
Speaker 1: happen because she didn't know him before Harry was born.
Speaker 1: And but he but the whole country thought he was
Speaker 1: a bastard child. He was already known as the spare.
Speaker 1: There's the air and then there's the spare. He can't
Speaker 1: even fly him his brother and his dad can't fly
Speaker 1: on the same jet because if that jet goes down,
Speaker 1: then they both die, and that's the air and the
Speaker 1: king going down. And so Harry could always fly with
Speaker 1: either of them though he was he was a spare,
Speaker 1: and that's what he was referred to within the family.
Speaker 1: And this kid, you read about his boot camp training,
Speaker 1: you read about him going to Afghanistan. You tell me
Speaker 1: this guy isn't fucking awesome. I'm obsessed with him. I
Speaker 1: love Megan Markel, I love Prince Harry. UM. Maybe less
Speaker 1: on that when we get back right up there base
Speaker 1: and we're back. Um, I'm on tour right now, so
Speaker 1: is Anya Marina with me, and we are all over
Speaker 1: the goddamn place. This weekend coming up. We got Albany,
Speaker 1: New York. We have two shows Friday, We have two
Speaker 1: shows Saturday in Portland, Maine. Next week we have um
Speaker 1: Kalamazoo Michigan, Joliette UM, and then after that we're going
Speaker 1: to be in New York also New Haven, Connecticut. UM,
Speaker 1: tons and tons of dates. It goes on and on
Speaker 1: into the spring, and then in Europe if you're over there,
Speaker 1: check out my website Nick Glazer dot com for tickets
Speaker 1: and as always, if you need a meet and greet
Speaker 1: and you can't afford one, they are included with via
Speaker 1: P tickets. You can just message me on Instagram and
Speaker 1: I will hopefully get back to you and bump you
Speaker 1: up to a meet and greet. Um. Yeah, So going
Speaker 1: on tour this weekend. Back at it UM. I am
Speaker 1: excited to be out again. It's been nice to be
Speaker 1: home though, I like and it's been nice to just
Speaker 1: read books and take voice lessons and hang out with
Speaker 1: my niece and nephew and just do fucking nothing. But
Speaker 1: I do kind of miss the road. I missed traveling
Speaker 1: and um sleeping in hotels and not knowing anyone in
Speaker 1: a city and having like you don't have to do
Speaker 1: anything all day. Yes, you know, people write me and
Speaker 1: going like come to our vegan cafe. Not gonna happen.
Speaker 1: I'm just I don't want to know new friends of
Speaker 1: the city. I like, I'll meet you at the meet
Speaker 1: and greet. I don't want to do anything all day.
Speaker 1: I kind of want to be alone. I like being
Speaker 1: alone in cities. I just did that. I took a
Speaker 1: solo trip to New York City. It was heaven. I
Speaker 1: went for two nights. I ordered so much food, I
Speaker 1: saw one friend, like I made one plan and then
Speaker 1: I had like one doctor's appointment and that was it.
Speaker 1: And it was the best to just be like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna order the same fucking thing I got last night,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be gross, And it was just so
Speaker 1: nice to just be alone and gross and free to watch.
Speaker 1: I watched so much Love Is Blind Brazil, which was worthless,
Speaker 1: but now at least I know nobody gather. So the
Speaker 1: girls of Tattooed. What else do you think the Brazilians like?
Speaker 1: They give the women the option to propose, which they
Speaker 1: don't do in the States, which I think is super
Speaker 1: cool on the show or just in general. Yeah, in
Speaker 1: the beginning, they're like, now you can be proposed to,
Speaker 1: or you you can also propose. Yeah, m hmm. I
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like I would. I could propose
Speaker 1: in Christos for sure. I could see you getting down one.
Speaker 1: I don't think he would be emasculated by that at all.
Speaker 1: I think he would kind of love it. Um. So
Speaker 1: that's kind of nice to know that's what you want.
Speaker 1: That's what I like. Those men, they like they don't care.
Speaker 1: They're not like emasculated, but they're not. There's something about
Speaker 1: them that they're more emotional, I feel like than men here,
Speaker 1: or at least the American men. They cry a lot
Speaker 1: more on Love is Blind. They seem to be. I
Speaker 1: was like, I gotta go to if I remember single,
Speaker 1: I'm going to Brazil. I kind of like these Brazilian
Speaker 1: dude and they kiss like it's a full body athletic event.
Speaker 1: Really like when they see each other, like like it's insane.
Speaker 1: I will say the most tragic thing of Love is
Speaker 1: Blind Brazil, and we got to talk about it because
Speaker 1: if you don't, you can't just skim over it. But
Speaker 1: there was a bigger girl on it spoiler Yeah, well
Speaker 1: no one's gonna want if you want, there's a bigger
Speaker 1: girl on it. And as I'm watching it, you know,
Speaker 1: and this is always what Love Is Blind is like.
Speaker 1: The whole premise of the show is like, you know,
Speaker 1: you meet through a wall. It's all you do is
Speaker 1: talk to each other through a wall and get to
Speaker 1: know each other's voices, and you fall in love and
Speaker 1: you get engaged before you see each other. And the
Speaker 1: big fear in the American versions now with two seasons
Speaker 1: has been if it's a bigger person or someone who's
Speaker 1: not that attractive, what are they gonna do? You know?
Speaker 1: We saw kind of examples of this. I think in
Speaker 1: the first season the guy was kind of there's a
Speaker 1: guy that was like short and just not the girl's type,
Speaker 1: and you could kind of see her face drop and
Speaker 1: kind of she was a little bit just like not there.
Speaker 1: They allude to not being physically into each other. We
Speaker 1: have yet to see a very big person get rejected
Speaker 1: because they're big. There's been like you know with Nancy
Speaker 1: and um what's that guy's name that had the dumb name?
Speaker 1: Uh oh god, black guy last season on Love is Blind.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. He there were like moments where she
Speaker 1: was like, I am not She really like was fine
Speaker 1: with her body and she wasn't worried that someone was
Speaker 1: going to reject her based on it. It was very
Speaker 1: It was very cool to see Bartisse and he could
Speaker 1: tell he was like, I'm in a more fit look.
Speaker 1: He didn't straight out safe, but he was into her
Speaker 1: still like it didn't it didn't seem to matter. It
Speaker 1: didn't seem to shake him. It was maybe a little
Speaker 1: bit of an shoe, not as much as you would think.
Speaker 1: You know, going into this, I just fear for these
Speaker 1: women being rejected because of how they look or the
Speaker 1: men too. And then you know there was the case
Speaker 1: of Coal and um Za nab right yea, and she
Speaker 1: she is a beautiful woman, great Nancy. Nancy looked like
Speaker 1: Angelina Jolie. Yeah, they're both beautiful, but they definitely they
Speaker 1: were curvyer Zena not so much. Zana just had low
Speaker 1: self esteem across the board, which I don't fault her
Speaker 1: for but she had really no, there's no reason for
Speaker 1: anyone to have it. But do you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Like it was in her head more than in her hips.
Speaker 1: And then, um, but that doesn't matter, because you can
Speaker 1: see you can be whatever and on the inside you
Speaker 1: can feel unlovable, and then you can either way. You
Speaker 1: can be big and feel like I don't even care,
Speaker 1: I love myself, or you can be super tiny and
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like it doesn't matter. That's what
Speaker 1: you realize. But then on Love is Blind Brazil, No,
Speaker 1: I'm watching it, and and Anna's already a couple of
Speaker 1: episodes ahead, and I go, I'm getting worried about this
Speaker 1: big girl. I'm getting worried. I don't think this guy
Speaker 1: she's falling for is gonna be okay with this, you know,
Speaker 1: I think he's going to be an asshole about it. Um.
Speaker 1: He even said, and fitness is very important to him,
Speaker 1: And she said, oh, that would be that would be
Speaker 1: good for me to be with someone like that. So
Speaker 1: she like she didn't and she even expressed like worrying
Speaker 1: about I'm black, I'm bigger, Like there are things like
Speaker 1: it's harder to date for me, and I'm scared he's
Speaker 1: gonna like reject me. And he did, he did, yes,
Speaker 1: And it was it was so sad. It was so
Speaker 1: they kind of glossed over it because I think it
Speaker 1: is too upsetting. But that's a real fucking thing, man,
Speaker 1: like applaud a girl who a bigger girl going on
Speaker 1: these shows and being like, I don't care what their
Speaker 1: reaction is that they don't like me, that's on them.
Speaker 1: And that's what kind of what she was. She was
Speaker 1: like beautiful girl, proud of who she was, strong girl,
Speaker 1: like I didn't need this guy at all. If anything
Speaker 1: this guy was, she should have fucking turned on a
Speaker 1: dime and not been impressed with this guy. He was
Speaker 1: not cute in my opinion, which is a whole other thing.
Speaker 1: Like just let's take size out of the equation. Just
Speaker 1: you don't like their face. You know, it could be
Speaker 1: just like he's not cute to me, um, but he
Speaker 1: he was weird because when they met in person, you know,
Speaker 1: they kiss and they're hugging and stuff, and then they
Speaker 1: part ways and then he gets behind the door after
Speaker 1: he's alone. He's like he kept saying the most bullshit thing.
Speaker 1: He kept saying I don't know if I can handle
Speaker 1: such a strong woman. She suddenly was so strong. Nothing
Speaker 1: had changed since they were you know, in the all
Speaker 1: they've done is kissed and gone like, oh, look at
Speaker 1: you high, and then suddenly she's too strong for him.
Speaker 1: It really made me sad. But you know what, to
Speaker 1: deny that that is an issue for bigger women or
Speaker 1: bigger men out there dating is to deny It's it's obvious.
Speaker 1: It does. It does hinder people from finding love and
Speaker 1: it sucks. And you saw it on that and I
Speaker 1: was just stark, such a stark like rejection. It was
Speaker 1: like a kick to the gut. He just like looked
Speaker 1: at her, hugged her, and then walked away, and it
Speaker 1: was just like, that's it. You're not going to say
Speaker 1: anything because he couldn't because the truth was, I'm not
Speaker 1: attracted to you, and it's too heartbreaking to tell people.
Speaker 1: I mean, we've all we've got happen to us, like you.
Speaker 1: But after the whole days of getting to know each
Speaker 1: other and after getting on his knee and proposing, I mean,
Speaker 1: like these people aremately in love on this show, which
Speaker 1: is is the crazy thing. But I something happens in
Speaker 1: there something special happens when you're just talking um on
Speaker 1: the phone. You know, it sounds kind of bizarre to
Speaker 1: me because just from learning about Brazilian culture and stuff
Speaker 1: through jiu jitsu, women in Brazil like like they embrace
Speaker 1: curves and and and you know, like all that. I
Speaker 1: think men like that. So I'm just surprised to hear it.
Speaker 1: I think it's this girl was fat. She would probably
Speaker 1: identify as a fat woman, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's different than like all the women on the show
Speaker 1: are curvy. There's no one who's like a like a
Speaker 1: you know this new diabetes medication starving themselves buckle fat
Speaker 1: removal like a skeleton host. Honestly, that's a really good point.
Speaker 1: The host does show up and you're like, everyone, yes,
Speaker 1: she always looks starving um and uh so yeah that's that,
Speaker 1: you know. And I'm saying fat with like no judgment. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think, you know. I think that That's the thing
Speaker 1: I like about the fat movement is women are just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm fat, and people are like, no, don't say and
Speaker 1: they're like, no, that's actually like what I am. I
Speaker 1: don't really care. It's I don't put any morality to it.
Speaker 1: So I can say I'm fat and it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: I'm bad, and they go, don't You're not fat, and
Speaker 1: they go, well, I don't see anything wrong with being fat.
Speaker 1: You seem to have a problem with it. That's what
Speaker 1: I mean. Too much. Yeah, that's the thing that bothers
Speaker 1: me so much. You go, I look gross today, or
Speaker 1: I look uglier. I look Oh no, you don't know,
Speaker 1: and I I'm like, well someday I will. And it
Speaker 1: seems like it's quite a problem based on your reaction,
Speaker 1: and so should I kill myself before then? Um? Okay,
Speaker 1: So I've got a couple stories that I can tell
Speaker 1: from my past week that I wrote down a list,
Speaker 1: and I want you guys to choose what you hear
Speaker 1: about based on my list. So I'm gonna read the
Speaker 1: list and you each will choose one. I'll try to
Speaker 1: rifles through them as fast as possible. Um, but you know,
Speaker 1: you know me, it might take a little bit of time.
Speaker 1: So just based on the titles alone, I'm going to
Speaker 1: go through these and you tell me what ones you
Speaker 1: want to hear. Okay, So we have honor at the aquarium.
Speaker 1: Sad Women Incorporated are low Kanye Glasses, lay sick menstrual cup, mishap, gratitude.
Speaker 1: Jug Farley said, get sadness. I already did Megan Marco, Crusade,
Speaker 1: Harry Book, I already did that, Lorie Hill videos or
Speaker 1: the quote smashed up cookie end quote. Uh noah, let's
Speaker 1: go with you, okay, Um Farley Sage's sadness. Okay, So
Speaker 1: sagg it's uh anniversary of his death was yesterday on
Speaker 1: the ninth, and um, a couple of days ago, I was, um,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's been announced yet. There's something
Speaker 1: going on with Adam Sandler that someone in my life
Speaker 1: is also involved with. I'll say that. And so the
Speaker 1: other day, so we have been wanting to watch a
Speaker 1: lot of Adam Sandler stuff. The other day alone, I
Speaker 1: put on the Adam Sandler on Fresh, his comedy special
Speaker 1: from a couple of years ago. It's maybe my favorite
Speaker 1: thing I've ever seen. It's top top ten comedy specials
Speaker 1: for sure. It is brilliant. And if you go, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember seeing it was funny. I did too. I
Speaker 1: watched it like four times when I first came out.
Speaker 1: I don't remember anything from it except the Farley song
Speaker 1: and like that one song that's like phone Wallet Keys,
Speaker 1: Phone Wallet Keys. But I'm telling you there's so much
Speaker 1: you don't remember. Go back and watch it. It is
Speaker 1: so delightful. So watching it, I'm obsessing over everything about it.
Speaker 1: And then um, the Farley song at the very end,
Speaker 1: His penultimate song is about Chris Farley and it's just
Speaker 1: the best tribute to his friend who died ever and
Speaker 1: it's just so sad and it makes me cry so hard,
Speaker 1: it makes me cry. There's this one song where he's
Speaker 1: like one night, one night, late at the office, I
Speaker 1: walked in and he was listening to Casey in the
Speaker 1: Sunshine Band and he was crying. He was crying to
Speaker 1: Casey in the Sunshine Band And I said, Man, what's
Speaker 1: meant making you so sad? And he said, just thinking
Speaker 1: about my dad. And it's just so sad that like
Speaker 1: he just was crying to the song thinking about his
Speaker 1: dad and he was like late at the office in
Speaker 1: SNL and then the image behind him is like Chris
Speaker 1: Farley and his dad on the big screen. It is
Speaker 1: just beautiful. And then so you cry at that because
Speaker 1: you just see that this guy, this guy, Chris Farley,
Speaker 1: was just such an emotional guy and so connected to
Speaker 1: his family. And then and then he does a guitar
Speaker 1: solo which is like really good and like has so
Speaker 1: much emotion in it, like Adam Sandler, Like he's an
Speaker 1: emotional man, Like I love him so much, Like he
Speaker 1: has depth to him, like we don't even know, at
Speaker 1: least I didn't know. And and the more I've been
Speaker 1: watching this, I'm like, oh he has. He's so much
Speaker 1: more than like a school do you know, Like he's
Speaker 1: the real fucking deal. He's a good man. And and
Speaker 1: then and then the next part of the song he
Speaker 1: was like you know, uh he goes we um. A
Speaker 1: couple of weeks later, the party came to an end.
Speaker 1: We flew out to Madison to barry our friend. Nothing
Speaker 1: was harder than saying goodbye. Then watching Chris his father
Speaker 1: take his turn to cry, and then it's like so
Speaker 1: sad and then um, and then there's like the other
Speaker 1: and that just like makes me like and then so
Speaker 1: there's something about the thing that always gets me crying
Speaker 1: is when people talk to people who are dead like
Speaker 1: they're still here, or people come back from the dead,
Speaker 1: like in a in a note they wrote knowing they
Speaker 1: were going to die, being like like that ship gets
Speaker 1: me ever since Forrest Gump and he's talking to Jenny,
Speaker 1: He's like, you'd be so proud, Jenny. He's so smart
Speaker 1: when he's at her grave, you know, he smokes so smart, Jenny,
Speaker 1: and that like I remember as a kid being like
Speaker 1: what is happening to me? I was again convulsive. So
Speaker 1: then there's this line where he's just like, um, you know,
Speaker 1: I forget what it is, but it's something about like
Speaker 1: man laughs, laugh ain't the same since you left. It's
Speaker 1: something about, like, Chris, life isn't the same here since
Speaker 1: you've been gone. And for some reason, he's just like
Speaker 1: the familiarity of like talking to him, like he's right
Speaker 1: there and like it and Chris Farley was you just realized, such,
Speaker 1: this guy has been dead for twenty years and yet
Speaker 1: his best friend from that time is still writing is
Speaker 1: like writing this long song about him and everyone. The
Speaker 1: audience is like sobbing. It's such a great and I
Speaker 1: couldn't stop watching it. I was just over and over
Speaker 1: because it would just make me cry every time and
Speaker 1: make me feel this thing that I would think about
Speaker 1: my dad I would think about I started like worrying
Speaker 1: about my friends dying, and like, am I gonna have
Speaker 1: to write a song about them? I already did one
Speaker 1: for Bob Segon. No. I was just like was starting
Speaker 1: to like it just makes me think. It just made
Speaker 1: me feel cry in a way that felt orgasmic, kind
Speaker 1: of where it was like this thing happening to me
Speaker 1: that I don't want to happen, but it feels really
Speaker 1: good but also feels really wrong. I don't know it.
Speaker 1: Crying to me is kind of orgasmic, and so I
Speaker 1: just and then it was starting to not work anymore.
Speaker 1: It was like not making me cry anymore because I
Speaker 1: was just doing it so watching, listening to it over
Speaker 1: and over and crying, and and I would just cry
Speaker 1: for like, you know, three seconds, you know, like it
Speaker 1: would just go like well up and be like tears,
Speaker 1: and then it would stop, and so I'd go repeat, repeat,
Speaker 1: and then yes, yes, absolutely, and because I never just like,
Speaker 1: it's rare that I just break down and sob and
Speaker 1: sob and sob. It's only if I'm like on the
Speaker 1: Girl's Chat telling a story and I can talk for
Speaker 1: like a long monologue, but usually it comes out of
Speaker 1: me and like little spurts and so then I just
Speaker 1: was like what is going on with me? Like why
Speaker 1: am I so sad right now? And thinking about like
Speaker 1: like what what is going And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: it was like, Bob Saget, the anniversary of death has
Speaker 1: been a year, and I was like, it is this.
Speaker 1: I was, it's the same time of the year, this
Speaker 1: weird time after um New Year's Eve, where nothing's going
Speaker 1: on yet my sport tourism picked up again. I was
Speaker 1: the same thing happened last year. I found out when
Speaker 1: I was sitting on my couch watching some reality show.
Speaker 1: Someone texted me Bob sagetstead someone I like barely you know,
Speaker 1: kind of barely know, and it like it was just
Speaker 1: some news and it just and you know, like when
Speaker 1: anyone everyone who's us into this has suffered grief at
Speaker 1: some point in their life, you remember where you were,
Speaker 1: You remember like the way it smells. And I didn't
Speaker 1: even remember this day was kind of coming up. But
Speaker 1: it's just the time of year reminds me of being
Speaker 1: like being sad about a friend. I've been like obsessively
Speaker 1: watching David's Spade clips because I think and that that
Speaker 1: wasn't even from watching the Farley thing because they're kind
Speaker 1: of connected. He's even in the song. But I've just
Speaker 1: been obsessively watching it because I'm like trying to hold
Speaker 1: on to my friends who are a little bit older
Speaker 1: than me, like like Saggett that I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: these these men that means so much to me comedically
Speaker 1: and almost like big brother father type status like where
Speaker 1: I don't want to let them go and I want
Speaker 1: to like I want to just soak them up, and
Speaker 1: so I just like keep um. I guess it's just
Speaker 1: that time of year. So that made me realize it
Speaker 1: was really nice to be like, that's why it's like
Speaker 1: when you feel murderous rage and then your period starts
Speaker 1: and you go, oh, it's not just me. I'm not
Speaker 1: just being melancholy for no reason. There's a fucking thing
Speaker 1: behind this. And you know, I even last year when
Speaker 1: it happened, I really suffer with like my feelings around
Speaker 1: Bob Saget's death because people were like we weren't best friends,
Speaker 1: but I was really fucking sad about it. Same thing
Speaker 1: you were on FaceTime status like he was giving a
Speaker 1: loving fatherly avuncular advice about your relation, cared about you friends, yeah,
Speaker 1: vice versa. I just yeah, I just struggle with that though.
Speaker 1: I think it's just you know, childhood trauma of losing
Speaker 1: someone and then people going like, why are you sad
Speaker 1: about this? You didn't even know this kid, And ever
Speaker 1: since then, anytime someone in my life dies, if it's
Speaker 1: you know, literally anyone, because I haven't lost anyone that
Speaker 1: I feel like I have a right to be sad.
Speaker 1: Yet I really haven't everyone I've lost. I feel guilty
Speaker 1: about feeling so sad because I go, well, they their
Speaker 1: wife is sadder, their sister is sadder. Like what am
Speaker 1: I writing a song about? But you know, I don't
Speaker 1: think that Adam Sandler thing made me feel good because
Speaker 1: he's not you know, of years ago this happened, you're
Speaker 1: still not over it. Well fucking good, he's not. And
Speaker 1: they were very close, much closer than Bob and I were.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, it just feels like but
Speaker 1: they were also in their twenties, it was probably a
Speaker 1: less mature relationship. I can I can kind of relate
Speaker 1: to feeling like I would want to write hum a
Speaker 1: song about Bob in twenty years even though you know,
Speaker 1: it just made me feel good that not every song
Speaker 1: you write about grief has to be about someone. I
Speaker 1: guess that's not what I'm taking from it. But it's
Speaker 1: okay to be sad, uh, I think because you can't
Speaker 1: do that you have you have like somebody else's shame
Speaker 1: put on you from childhood. Because when you're lost a friend,
Speaker 1: when you were in high school, people close to you,
Speaker 1: in whatever attempt they were making to try to make
Speaker 1: you feel less better, they yeah, And so now you
Speaker 1: have this weird guilt about anytime somebody dies, You're like,
Speaker 1: do I am I allowed to feel? Honestly, I was
Speaker 1: thinking about some of my friends and I'm like, if
Speaker 1: they died, I need to take more pictures with them,
Speaker 1: because if they die, I'm going to fucking lose my
Speaker 1: mind and it's all that I'm gonna be able to
Speaker 1: talk about or think about. And no one's going to
Speaker 1: believe that we were that close unless I have evidence
Speaker 1: of it. I need more pictures with them, just to
Speaker 1: prove in case they die that I feel okay about
Speaker 1: being that sad. So people don't be like Nikki just
Speaker 1: wants attention, Nikki, you know, like I know people like
Speaker 1: that that someone dies and they like get I remember
Speaker 1: one guy dying and a friend of mine in the
Speaker 1: local comedy seeing a guy died tragically and another guy
Speaker 1: got a tattoo of him, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: kind of realized in a a moment, Oh my god, if
Speaker 1: I died, I would be commemorated on this guy's lower back,
Speaker 1: probably too, because the level of they knew each other.
Speaker 1: And I just remember being like, my sister wouldn't get
Speaker 1: a tattoo of me yet I would be on the
Speaker 1: back of this guy Jeff's back forever. That's my legacy.
Speaker 1: And I remember rolling my eyes being like, he's trying
Speaker 1: to make this about him. I don't give a funk
Speaker 1: what people do with their grief anymore. If you're sad,
Speaker 1: just like have it. And I gotta I gotta feel
Speaker 1: that way, because, as I know, the only way to feel,
Speaker 1: to let yourself be something is to like let others
Speaker 1: off the hook for the same thing. Yes, I loved Bobs.
Speaker 1: You know, we were talking a little bit about this
Speaker 1: the other day, and I think it was last night.
Speaker 1: I went on to Saget's widows page and I was
Speaker 1: just reading her posts. She's so sweet, Like every few
Speaker 1: months she's been like I can't believe it's six months
Speaker 1: without my love of my life and my husband. It's
Speaker 1: going to choke me up. So I don't want to
Speaker 1: talk about it too much. Love that. She always would say,
Speaker 1: the more you know what I've learned through this because
Speaker 1: they were just together a short time. They like met,
Speaker 1: fell in love, got married, and then like a few
Speaker 1: years later he was gone. Right, yeah, I was like
Speaker 1: five years And I love that. She's like, what I
Speaker 1: take from all of this is how lucky I was, Like,
Speaker 1: lucky to meet you, lucky to be your wife, lucky
Speaker 1: to have all the time I had with you. But
Speaker 1: that's what I keep thinking, like because I'm obsessed with
Speaker 1: death two or like how much longer do I have?
Speaker 1: How much longer do I? Like I just met the
Speaker 1: love of my life thinking about it too keep you
Speaker 1: have just that like like what if I lose everyone
Speaker 1: or my parents are older? And how much time? And
Speaker 1: my dog? I love my dog so much she's gonnaizing people,
Speaker 1: but if for what? For Last night I was watching Alone,
Speaker 1: we started sixth season and this guy shoots uh squirrel
Speaker 1: that just the squirrels keep like giving up. So when
Speaker 1: squirrels are like they'll they'll see a human as a predator.
Speaker 1: So let'start going like and like barking, and so then
Speaker 1: they're learning every animal to get the funk out of way.
Speaker 1: And the guys like, I gotta kill that squirrel. That
Speaker 1: squirrels like given up, you know, my spot. So he
Speaker 1: like puts it in his like shot line. He's like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna this squirrel is just like eating its morning
Speaker 1: lunch like on this little branch like up in this
Speaker 1: very high up in this tree, and he's like, look
Speaker 1: at this squirld, look at him. I'm gonna get at me.
Speaker 1: Sets the when he fucking hits it, and then he
Speaker 1: goes to collect the squirrel that he hit, and it's
Speaker 1: right through the squirrel's fucking brain, like right, and the
Speaker 1: squirls just squirrels eating a nut and it's perfectly through
Speaker 1: the brain. And I go, that's the best way to go.
Speaker 1: That squirrel didn't feel an ounce of pain, didn't know
Speaker 1: anything and that and I was talking to Chris, and
Speaker 1: I know that really is the best way to go.
Speaker 1: You just you don't even go out, like there's no
Speaker 1: moment of like what's happening, Like I don't want to
Speaker 1: go in a car crash where I'm like, oh no, Dad,
Speaker 1: like like, I don't want that moment of fear where
Speaker 1: the adrenaline like rushes through you. Harry talks about it
Speaker 1: in his book when he was slaughtering and he was
Speaker 1: shooting an animal. He was talking about how a lot
Speaker 1: of times animals when you're out shooting them, which I
Speaker 1: didn't know, and it makes total sense about factory farming.
Speaker 1: Why I say factory farming is awful because the animals
Speaker 1: are filled with anxiety and you eat that anxiety. But
Speaker 1: when they're hunting, if you if you scare the animal
Speaker 1: before you shoot it, adrenaline rushes through its body and
Speaker 1: ruins the meat. I thought there was so interesting. So
Speaker 1: I don't want to die with adrenaline course with your membrains.
Speaker 1: I want to die with like a bridge falling on
Speaker 1: me and maybe just like bopping along to like, you know,
Speaker 1: the Farley song. Probably you know what I mean, but
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't worry about dying because I won't
Speaker 1: be an I'm not worried about like people going on
Speaker 1: without me, And maybe that's because I don't I don't
Speaker 1: have a kid or something. But I do worry about
Speaker 1: losing other people. When you guys think about death, are
Speaker 1: you thinking about what? Am I? Because Sara, Lena, my friend,
Speaker 1: she keeps saying like, girl, I don't know. I'm just
Speaker 1: so scared of dying. And I go, but you'll be dead,
Speaker 1: like you're not gonna be like, oh funk I die?
Speaker 1: Like I was like, you gotta take this whole thing
Speaker 1: like you think of it as like you trip on
Speaker 1: the sidewalk and you're like embarrassed about You're not gonna
Speaker 1: be able to reflect on dying. And I know that's
Speaker 1: like harder to get than not. But do you do
Speaker 1: you want to How do you fear death? I fear
Speaker 1: leaving people behind, not finishing stuff I want. I want
Speaker 1: lots of time. You know, I don't want to die young. Right,
Speaker 1: Well you're out of the woods for that. But thanks
Speaker 1: to I always feel like I'm getting ready to know
Speaker 1: before sixty is dying young folk show at this at
Speaker 1: this point in time. It doesn't always feel that way
Speaker 1: in Hollywood, But yeah, I when you're talking about your
Speaker 1: to do list, like what's your number one thing that
Speaker 1: you'd be like fun, let's not talk about relationships. Let's
Speaker 1: not talk about like like like bucket list, like do
Speaker 1: what would you what would be your gasping last words
Speaker 1: of like, oh I didn't get I didn't like, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah I did that top shelf. I actually don't have
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff on my bucket list, which I'm
Speaker 1: glad about. I'm not like I never got to India
Speaker 1: or I never got to see the Great Wall. It's
Speaker 1: more just like I want more time with people I
Speaker 1: love and maybe that and I don't know, like I've
Speaker 1: had so times I get scared that I'm going to
Speaker 1: die soon because I feel that way, like I already
Speaker 1: feel like I've had a full life. So what if
Speaker 1: someone's listening and they're like, you're listening your time watching
Speaker 1: Love is Blind Brazil. So someone's going to throw a rocket,
Speaker 1: You're sending a message to the university, you know what.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like biding my time right speeding. Wait, No,
Speaker 1: what have you been your fears of death? Then? Okay,
Speaker 1: so my thoughts are a little bit different, Like I
Speaker 1: think about losing loved ones. I guess, like my dad
Speaker 1: and just like not having him. They're like, yes, you know,
Speaker 1: finally wanting to pick up the phone and call him
Speaker 1: intentionally and then oh it's too late. He's not there
Speaker 1: or finding it like an old voicemail, and that makes
Speaker 1: me really emotionally even though he's not dead. Yes, the
Speaker 1: second part of it is, Um, I think about, you know,
Speaker 1: for example, my nephew when I die, he's not going
Speaker 1: to have me there, and like the hurt that he'll
Speaker 1: go through. And then finally the last thing I just
Speaker 1: think about, like death itself and what it means and
Speaker 1: how like just poo, that's it. It's just done, Like
Speaker 1: you just don't get to open your eyes anymore and
Speaker 1: you turn into worm food m hm, or you know,
Speaker 1: it's just the beginning, which is kind of what I believe.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but so so then what I turned into
Speaker 1: something else? Like I come back as like a I
Speaker 1: don't know, a bird or something like what. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just don't think it's the end. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's like I think Noah's done, you know, yeah squirrel,
Speaker 1: and then you're you know, then then you come back
Speaker 1: again at something else in two seconds and head off
Speaker 1: Moscot that someone stabs in the night. Um, I think
Speaker 1: that I don't know. Yeah, I guess I worry about
Speaker 1: That's why I try to write my journal in a
Speaker 1: way that. Oh, I wanted to say this publicly. If
Speaker 1: I die, public access to all my journals, like, do
Speaker 1: something with them. No, I don't. I have no qualms
Speaker 1: about my voice memos on my phone any I have
Speaker 1: no privacy. Release it all, do something with it. Like's
Speaker 1: if you want to know my fucking journals are sample
Speaker 1: from Honestly, it would get me committed. But if I'm dead,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. You know, it's all stuff about myself.
Speaker 1: But it's just like I wanted to say that because
Speaker 1: I don't give it to like my parents or like Chris.
Speaker 1: I don't think they can handle it. But you could
Speaker 1: handle it on you can I give it to that
Speaker 1: guy that tattooed your name on his back. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: forget his name. I should check my He's like, I'm
Speaker 1: so excited to be the executor of Nikki's journals. Just
Speaker 1: someone who gives a fuck. Yeah, please have all that ship.
Speaker 1: I have a whole drawer of it. Um Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just what was I going to say? You were talking
Speaker 1: about not hearing from my dad. Yes, that's not being
Speaker 1: there from my nephew, and I don't know. I have
Speaker 1: felt it's the end of all the memories you have
Speaker 1: with them now. But I really feel and I have
Speaker 1: last someone super close to me. So I don't know
Speaker 1: what this is like, but I believe I really talk
Speaker 1: to people all the time who are dead, like in
Speaker 1: my mind and like when I'm walking around my house
Speaker 1: like straightening things, like I feel like I have a
Speaker 1: relationship with dead people. Like there's someone I lost that
Speaker 1: I was close to eight years ago, and I feel
Speaker 1: like we haven't skipped a beat, Like I hang out
Speaker 1: with him all the time in my head, I talked
Speaker 1: to him. I you know, I don't know. I think
Speaker 1: that I'm gonna be It's gonna be the worst thing.
Speaker 1: I don't even like to imagine my parents dying even
Speaker 1: for a split second. That's what everyone says, is like
Speaker 1: your life changes so drastically after that moment. But I
Speaker 1: think I'll still feel like they're around, which I know
Speaker 1: is maybe, you know, not real, But I just I
Speaker 1: think I'll feel I'll be able to keep a keep
Speaker 1: a relationship with Do you guys ever talked to dead people? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: my friend Romy died and I just, you know, I
Speaker 1: think about her laugh all the time, her sense of humor.
Speaker 1: We used to watch The Bachelor and the bachelott together
Speaker 1: all the time. I'm always like consulting her. She said
Speaker 1: something to me that was so important when I was
Speaker 1: in a bad relationship. She was like, you keep making
Speaker 1: a meal out of crumbs. How much longer are you
Speaker 1: going to make a meal out of crumbs? Because this
Speaker 1: relationship was just crumbs. And I've never heard that phrase before.
Speaker 1: It was a long time ago. I know people say
Speaker 1: it all the time, but I think about that in
Speaker 1: my life all the time. Like she's like the little
Speaker 1: guardian angel on my shoulder. That's like, expect more for yourself, girl,
Speaker 1: And she's just she was so light and funny about everything,
Speaker 1: like everything was light, and so I try to have
Speaker 1: more humor. But I think remembering these people is how
Speaker 1: they stay alive. You know. Yes, Well, the Prince Harry
Speaker 1: book again, I can't recommend it enough. I promise you
Speaker 1: if you just download a sample on your phone, you
Speaker 1: will buy the whole book. Because last night I'm in
Speaker 1: bed reading it next to Chris. It drops in my
Speaker 1: books and I go, here we go, and you know,
Speaker 1: we've done the thing where he's now on his side
Speaker 1: of the bed reading this phone. We like love our
Speaker 1: ritual of like reading our phones and then just like
Speaker 1: laughing and I go, what are you laughing at? And
Speaker 1: then we send it to each other. Literally, we don't
Speaker 1: even show each other phone. We just send it next
Speaker 1: to each other. But last night he what, he falls
Speaker 1: asleep so fast, and I had started the book. I
Speaker 1: was three pages in. I go, ah, this is good,
Speaker 1: this is real good, and he just goes, h's good
Speaker 1: is really good? Good? Like he just smoup with some
Speaker 1: bullshit because he didn't understand what I'm saying at all.
Speaker 1: But I declared right away. I was like, this book
Speaker 1: gets you. This guy is a good writer. He had
Speaker 1: a good editor, and he talks about his mom's death
Speaker 1: and it's like talk about grief and talk about trying
Speaker 1: to hold onto a memory and talking about trying to
Speaker 1: grieve someone that everyone else feels like they knew her too,
Speaker 1: and how he processed that. I mean, it's fucking fascinating.
Speaker 1: I'm dying for people to read it. I'm actually doing
Speaker 1: a podcast called the Celebrity Memoir Book Club, Um, I
Speaker 1: think that's what it's called. And I'm and we're reading
Speaker 1: that Boo book. It's a big podcast, so we're recording
Speaker 1: that next week. So if anyone wants to read the
Speaker 1: book and then listen to that, I'll talk all about
Speaker 1: the book more in there, and I'm not going to
Speaker 1: stop talking about the book. I'm so obsessed. I'm only
Speaker 1: a third in and I'm not giving up this time. Um.
Speaker 1: One more quick story to get through before we go
Speaker 1: to break, Okay, out of all the list, all right,
Speaker 1: I wanted to hear, of course, about the menstrual cup mishap. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got a menstrual cup at TJ Max. I've been
Speaker 1: waiting to buy one because they're like thirty bucks and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I don't know. I can't trust this.
Speaker 1: It's just too much for a mental cup. When you're
Speaker 1: looking at tampons that are four ninety nine next to it.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I can't so I would see. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the other word, the Diva Cup. First of all, it's
Speaker 1: not it wasn't the Diva. I forget the name of it,
Speaker 1: but it's a it's a reputable brand. It's a slam them. No,
Speaker 1: I forget what it's, but it's it's one that you
Speaker 1: know you've heard of this one. I forget it though,
Speaker 1: because I threw it away because I used it for
Speaker 1: I was so excited to get my period. I was
Speaker 1: it was like I was fourteen or sixteen all over again.
Speaker 1: When I got mine, I was like, yes, because I
Speaker 1: get to use my fucking cup. But that I got
Speaker 1: a TJ Max and it was like, you know, I
Speaker 1: got for like eleven bucks this thirty dollar cup. Put
Speaker 1: it in. Um. I told the girls chat, I'm so
Speaker 1: excited about it, and they were like, take a video
Speaker 1: like of like pulling it out, and not everyone co
Speaker 1: signed on that, so I kind of took it far away,
Speaker 1: but I did like do a tose. It looked like
Speaker 1: a little acorn that was full. It was like you
Speaker 1: get to see how much blood is coming out of you.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because you don't know when you're just stopping
Speaker 1: up with tampons or pads, like you don't know the
Speaker 1: amount and you need to see. You need to see
Speaker 1: what your body fucking does and how much you suffer.
Speaker 1: And so um, yeah, that was interesting the first poll
Speaker 1: of that. And then I put it back up and
Speaker 1: I could wait, wait, wait out when you first saw it,
Speaker 1: we pulled out the cup, what was your first fresh
Speaker 1: browner than I thought browner? And um, it looked like um, sap.
Speaker 1: You know, it looks like um or like oil from
Speaker 1: like a car um the scent. No, the was like
Speaker 1: the amount. Was it a satisfying amount or was it lesson? Yeah?
Speaker 1: It was a very satisfacing about it was you know,
Speaker 1: it was heavy flow first start of it, and it
Speaker 1: was you know, it was probably a fucking teaspoon, a
Speaker 1: full teaspoon, which is what do you feel like a lot?
Speaker 1: How do you pull it out without spilling? So it's
Speaker 1: like a suction cup, little shaped like an acorn kind
Speaker 1: of and you you curl it into itself to put
Speaker 1: it up, and then when you pull it out, it's
Speaker 1: a great question. I don't even know how I got
Speaker 1: it out the first time. It was not that complicated.
Speaker 1: But the second time could not get it out. It
Speaker 1: was like scratching my vagina to um. Yeah, it goes
Speaker 1: like up into it and then I guess mine is
Speaker 1: very super deep. Mine was like baby Jessica. I couldn't
Speaker 1: get her out, and I was panicking and sweating, and
Speaker 1: you know, trying two fingers like a clip method, and
Speaker 1: I was trying my my but putting your thumb and
Speaker 1: your middle in your finger, like to get those in
Speaker 1: your vagina is too hard, so tight, was just so tiny.
Speaker 1: But luckily I was taking it out because I was
Speaker 1: about to go to the guidecologist or like to get
Speaker 1: my eggs frozen, like to get the follicle check thing.
Speaker 1: And I'll talk about that another time. And it was
Speaker 1: in the morning and I was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to have this mentral cup and I'm gonna put it
Speaker 1: in a tampon and said, and so I go, but wait,
Speaker 1: I don't got to get this out. I was in
Speaker 1: there for a half hour trying to get out and go,
Speaker 1: they'll take it out. So I went in there and
Speaker 1: I go. She goes, um, okay, this is your room,
Speaker 1: you know, disrobed from the waist down, throw on this thing.
Speaker 1: And I go, I got a menstrual cup stuck at me.
Speaker 1: And she goes and she shut the doors. She was like,
Speaker 1: I just want to say that has happened to me too.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I don't have any shame
Speaker 1: about like you could tell that. She was like, it's okay.
Speaker 1: She was being very sweet, like where most women, I
Speaker 1: think would need to hear that. But I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm an idiot. I don't think there's
Speaker 1: anything wrong with me. I don't think this is gross.
Speaker 1: You're good. And then they brought in forceps and um,
Speaker 1: and I'll tell you what, you're like, this is t
Speaker 1: J's fault, not mine. We're back. They gave me force
Speaker 1: ups and I thought she's like lated them on the counter,
Speaker 1: and then she's like, the doctor will be right in.
Speaker 1: The doctor comes in. She goes, did you get it out?
Speaker 1: And I go what, No, as I supposed to go
Speaker 1: in there and go oh no, no no. And then
Speaker 1: she goes in there and she yanks it out. I
Speaker 1: don't even look at it. I don't want to see it.
Speaker 1: And she goes, what do you want to do? And
Speaker 1: I go, throw it away. I'm never putting that thing
Speaker 1: up to me again. And doesn't have any good grip
Speaker 1: to it. I used to have ones that were like
Speaker 1: a Lance Armstrong bracelet with some cellophane over it. Those
Speaker 1: were easy to put in and out, very easy. This
Speaker 1: one the cup shape horrible. So if you're a girl
Speaker 1: out there that's gotten stuff stuck in you. And then
Speaker 1: I went on the Courtney Show and I was talking
Speaker 1: about it and Courtney is like, oh yeah, stuff gets
Speaker 1: getting stuck up there. All the time that you know,
Speaker 1: being a woman, you don't realize men think that you
Speaker 1: feel a tampon up there. You don't you feel it
Speaker 1: when you put it in, but you're not like I
Speaker 1: have a tampon in me all day long. You kind
Speaker 1: of forget and you can sometimes we were a tampon
Speaker 1: up to like eleven hours if you're you know, sloppy
Speaker 1: about it and in that time, sometimes you forget that
Speaker 1: if you're taken it out, so you just put another in.
Speaker 1: I'm so a d D. Sometimes I will. You know,
Speaker 1: you'll be on Instagram and then you click off Instagram
Speaker 1: and then you'll pull up Instagram again. You ever do that?
Speaker 1: How a d D? Your brain is that you just
Speaker 1: so imagine being on the toilet on Instagram, you take
Speaker 1: out a tampon, or you didn't take one out, but
Speaker 1: you assume you did, and then you put another one up.
Speaker 1: There's this is constantly happening, you're and then you take
Speaker 1: that one out and another one shoved up and you
Speaker 1: don't even know like it happens a lot. So they
Speaker 1: were there and learned it was nothing to pull those
Speaker 1: to yank those puppies out, but um, yeah, so that
Speaker 1: was my menstru so just don't get things on discount,
Speaker 1: I guess, but I would I would do it again.
Speaker 1: I would buy a menstr cup of teaching Max again
Speaker 1: or you know, marshals Um you said you were not
Speaker 1: going to well, not to that one, but I try
Speaker 1: a different brand in a heartbeat, I really like I
Speaker 1: want to see it. Yeah, And I don't like the
Speaker 1: idea of dry cotton going up your vagina. I don't
Speaker 1: like whenever I put a tamp on, it's kind of
Speaker 1: like it's like dry con. I don't like cotton, it's
Speaker 1: too much. What do you eat pats? I just use
Speaker 1: panty liners now. It's very like anti liners. That's how
Speaker 1: low it is. Y. Yeah, Taylor found my panty liners
Speaker 1: when she was cleaning out my cabinets and she goes,
Speaker 1: what are these? What are these? And I go, I
Speaker 1: don't know. She she was, when would you ever be
Speaker 1: able to use this? Like? Go, I don't know when
Speaker 1: you just like start or like or like when it's
Speaker 1: trailing off? And she's like, I have never she'd never
Speaker 1: seen a panty liner. But that's all you use on it?
Speaker 1: Do you have to change them out? But they're the
Speaker 1: problems I'm changing them out every couple of hours because
Speaker 1: it was my yesterday, was my today, yesterday today, or
Speaker 1: my heavier days, so every every like three hours. What
Speaker 1: made you stop Tampi's just it. I was getting yeasters
Speaker 1: all the time, and I was just like, this isn't
Speaker 1: comfortable and I don't even I'm not having like heavy
Speaker 1: flow anymore, so it's just kind of lighter. And then
Speaker 1: I found this brand, Honeypot, and I got it has
Speaker 1: like mint and lavender, and oh yeah, I've been trying
Speaker 1: to get us hold the damps. Dude, I'm going to
Speaker 1: give this out of stocking stuffers next year. It's a
Speaker 1: mint and lavender used pantiliner honey pot and they I'm
Speaker 1: addicted now, Like my vagina craves them. I just want it.
Speaker 1: I wanted why what does it feel like? It's just
Speaker 1: like a like think of your favorite gum or mouth
Speaker 1: wash or anything you've ever used, and you're like, I
Speaker 1: want that feeling in my mouth, like makes you feel
Speaker 1: that's what mygina looks like some days a big it's
Speaker 1: just so refreshed. It just feels like you can feel
Speaker 1: the like it feels clean and like has like these
Speaker 1: little vapors of three tree. But yeah, it just feels amazing.
Speaker 1: It's just like, oh, I feel fresh and awaken, alive.
Speaker 1: But it's natural, okay, alright's organic cotton and it's made
Speaker 1: by women for women. That's made by women. Thing. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry male gynecologists. If it's like I'm tired of this,
Speaker 1: like it's all women companies all, maybe I'm not, like,
Speaker 1: I just it doesn't sell me on things. Am I
Speaker 1: bad to say that? I feel like it should and
Speaker 1: then I resent it when I go to it. If
Speaker 1: it was like we have all women owned business and
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, does that mean are you like a
Speaker 1: turf person where you're like real women or like I
Speaker 1: kind of do. Then I start to question, like women
Speaker 1: not allowed to have this the two or like it's
Speaker 1: justifies as a woman and wants a panty liner and
Speaker 1: made by people who I didn't the US of A. Yeah,
Speaker 1: no commies. I guess that is a nice thing. People
Speaker 1: are gonna get mad at me for saying that I
Speaker 1: don't care when things are women made, but it's just
Speaker 1: that's the way I used to feel about USA. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I just don't care. I just want a good product. Um,
Speaker 1: This is the way I feel about being labeled as
Speaker 1: a female comedian, Like I'm just a comedian. I'm proud
Speaker 1: to be a woman. But it's I don't think it's
Speaker 1: a selling point that I'm a female comic. I just
Speaker 1: want to be a comic. I just want to be
Speaker 1: What if I was like, you got to try. But
Speaker 1: what if I was like, you gotta try these panty liners.
Speaker 1: They're made by these really cool Wall Street bros. But
Speaker 1: it's so good. But Wall Street Row is different than
Speaker 1: like not mentioning who it's made by. Do you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, so you'd rather not know that
Speaker 1: it's made I don't need to know that's a that's
Speaker 1: a that's a part of the thing, the transaction I
Speaker 1: don't need to know about. I also don't need to
Speaker 1: know there pcent cotton that they are organic. I don't
Speaker 1: believe it about animal the animals. Yeah, I don't want
Speaker 1: rabbits have to wear this pad on its face or
Speaker 1: something to test it. Like, yeah, yeah, I care about animal.
Speaker 1: That's that that I do care about. Only want it
Speaker 1: tested on female rabbits, um who are self starters, nepo bunnies.
Speaker 1: I don't want any Nepo bunnies making my makeup. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think animal testing that's important. But if you look
Speaker 1: into that, you can always trace something to someone being exploited. Man,
Speaker 1: Like everything is someone's, someone's being underpaid and treated poorly.
Speaker 1: I can't stop with Amazon, and I gotta stop. It's
Speaker 1: just too easy. It's too fucking easy. But it has
Speaker 1: to end soon. I have to. But something bad has
Speaker 1: to happen to me with Amazon, like I I have
Speaker 1: to watch a documentary or something. Please don't send me one.
Speaker 1: I can't. I cannot be done with it, but I
Speaker 1: need to know the truth. Um one more story or
Speaker 1: we shouldn't get to UM story story? Okay, Well I
Speaker 1: think you're up. Noah, can we do smashed up cookie?
Speaker 1: Smashed up cookie? Okay? So that I wanted to call
Speaker 1: out Kirsten's husband Corey because so prior to me doing
Speaker 1: my show in St. Louis on New Year's Eve. That's
Speaker 1: like whenever I'm under pressure is when I start to
Speaker 1: really come up with like jokes and I'm starting to go, oh,
Speaker 1: I need more new material. These people have all seen
Speaker 1: my stuff, and so I start writing. I'm in the shower,
Speaker 1: getting like showering for my New Year's Eve show. It's
Speaker 1: four o'clock. I have to be at the Stephile at
Speaker 1: five for sound check. And I just started getting this
Speaker 1: idea of like I've been messing around with like, oh, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, because the show is in St. Louis, my
Speaker 1: dad is there. And I always like to make the
Speaker 1: point of like, I'm not going to change the show
Speaker 1: at all for the audience just because my dad's here.
Speaker 1: My dad is here, I don't want to lie about
Speaker 1: that he's here. We have to acknowledge it. Elephant in
Speaker 1: the room. But you know, I'm not going to change
Speaker 1: my act at all. And I always say Cardi B,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't want her to not do what? Because her
Speaker 1: dad was there one night and I was like, she
Speaker 1: does what? But it's like the kids bought version? And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh what would the kids bought version
Speaker 1: of what? B? And I'd like was just not in
Speaker 1: the mood to like this is this is the way
Speaker 1: a comedian's mind can work. Sometimes. This is like an
Speaker 1: example of like a writing staff, I have an idea,
Speaker 1: that's my that's the joke premise. I just need something
Speaker 1: funny to say instead of wet ass pussy that would
Speaker 1: be like the kids bought version of wet Ass Pussy.
Speaker 1: And so I put out a call to all my
Speaker 1: friends on like mass text. I didn't bother on you
Speaker 1: because she was already at the show, like dealing with
Speaker 1: behind the scenes stuff. But I just wrote all my friends.
Speaker 1: I was like, I have a joke equation. What is
Speaker 1: a funny replacement for wet as pussy? That would be
Speaker 1: kids Bop. And so they were sending back a ton
Speaker 1: of stuff but that I go, no, no, no, it
Speaker 1: needs to be three syllables wet ass put one to
Speaker 1: one one too, wet ass pussy. It needs to be
Speaker 1: the same. I'd like it to almost rhyme. Um. That's
Speaker 1: another requirement. I mean, this is cutting down on things
Speaker 1: that could be. And so people kept being like, um,
Speaker 1: best ass tushy or something like. They kept saying like,
Speaker 1: and I go, no, the word asked is still like
Speaker 1: you forget because pussy such a foul work. You forget
Speaker 1: that the other word is bad too. So I go,
Speaker 1: I can't say asked, can't say pussy. And so Kirsten's
Speaker 1: husband came out with smashed up Cookie and I thought
Speaker 1: it was really so good and it just proves to
Speaker 1: you that like Layman are capable of coming up with
Speaker 1: like great jokes if you put out the if you
Speaker 1: give people the variables and you ask them to solve
Speaker 1: for X, they can often do it. And a comedian's
Speaker 1: mind is not always the one that's coming up with
Speaker 1: the punch line. It's really about like the formula and
Speaker 1: then giving it to the to the people. And so
Speaker 1: it was. It was such just a fun thing to
Speaker 1: do because I thought, I assumed Krisen or Taylor would
Speaker 1: like instantly come up with it, but they put it
Speaker 1: out in the car with their boyfriends, and then Corey,
Speaker 1: who's like an engineer, was just like smashed up cookie
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's it. That's it because it's
Speaker 1: smashed up cookie and it's something that what and you
Speaker 1: do need a bucket and a mop for the smashed
Speaker 1: up cookie. Um, So I thought it was really good.
Speaker 1: Send that man to Nashville. Yeah, write songwriting. Final thought, Um,
Speaker 1: can we get to Uh why do I care? Why
Speaker 1: do I care? All right? Why do I care? Know
Speaker 1: what's going on? All right? Um? I don't know if
Speaker 1: you saw this, it's kind of going viral. Chris Hemsworth
Speaker 1: he found out that he's predisposed to Alzheimer's, and to
Speaker 1: confront his fear of aging, he uh, he went on
Speaker 1: a date with an older version of his wife, Elsa.
Speaker 1: She was made to look like an eighty seven year
Speaker 1: old version of herself with makeup and a wig and prosthetics.
Speaker 1: And they thought that by his brazil her and go no,
Speaker 1: I can't do this, she's too strong. Sorry, go on.
Speaker 1: He said that by by seeing her this way, they
Speaker 1: concluded that even if Alzheimer's wipes his memory, at least
Speaker 1: he'll know what she looks like. Um, at an older age.
Speaker 1: That's really sweet. Fuck. Wait, so okay, there's I thought
Speaker 1: so too, and the internet also thought that it's very sweet.
Speaker 1: But um, you know. And he said that the idea
Speaker 1: I won't be able to remember the life I've experienced,
Speaker 1: or my wife, my kids is probably my biggest fear.
Speaker 1: How So, when he saw her in the video until
Speaker 1: the part that changed it for me, he goes, you're
Speaker 1: still beautiful? Um, well, why did that bother you? Because
Speaker 1: why not just say you are beautiful? Why? Still? I
Speaker 1: don't know the words. Still just kind of throws it
Speaker 1: off for me, because age does affect beauty and we
Speaker 1: don't want to acknowledge it, but it does. And it's again,
Speaker 1: it's like it's the thing that you go No, it's
Speaker 1: not being old. Nothing changes, it's just you know, everyone's
Speaker 1: avoiding it. But but it's fine if you do. But
Speaker 1: everyone avoids it at all costs, and it's like, why
Speaker 1: are we avoiding it? Then if everything's fine, and the
Speaker 1: truth is it's not fine, you lose funck ability. You
Speaker 1: become a weak, brittle person who has to lose ability
Speaker 1: because you can't fight off people who want to rape
Speaker 1: you as much. You don't have any muscle mash your
Speaker 1: weak bones. You should be unforcable. This is a protective
Speaker 1: thing too, and you're not fertile anymore. You shouldn't. Men
Speaker 1: shouldn't be wasting their seamen dumping it in you for
Speaker 1: no progeny. I mean, it's it's biological. You shouldn't look
Speaker 1: fable when you get older. So I do understand the
Speaker 1: still because she's sage. He's the same age on this date, right,
Speaker 1: and she's like, you're still working hot. I mean, I
Speaker 1: get the still doesn't bother me, but I get why
Speaker 1: it does because it's like, just say, beautiful, Wait, let's see.
Speaker 1: Oh god, no she's not. He lied. That's why this
Speaker 1: is why I don't like it. I have to say,
Speaker 1: I think this is this makes me roll my eyes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's kind of like a surprise date. I think
Speaker 1: it's terrified. He looks he can to show her. Have
Speaker 1: you noticed she's he does not look comfortable. No, he doesn't.
Speaker 1: It's so scary. Um, he's like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: so grateful for this genetic mutation where forget also had
Speaker 1: to get old. Yeah. Still all the time, I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to kick in. He was aged in that, but men
Speaker 1: just aged so well that you couldn't shut up. No.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so attracted to Chris lately I can't
Speaker 1: fucking even take it. So he got a mohawk. Did
Speaker 1: I tell you about this? Yes? I saw hair cut
Speaker 1: his hair. Yeah. So he was at his brother's. His
Speaker 1: brother did a show called this is Chris Your Boyfriend? No, yeah,
Speaker 1: the other the other Chris. That's what I call Chris,
Speaker 1: is the other Chris, because risis there's always number one
Speaker 1: to me. He's still beautiful to me, and he Um,
Speaker 1: Chris get the games of a mohawk because they were
Speaker 1: doing it for charity. I don't know. It was like
Speaker 1: they invited people in his His brother Tim was performing
Speaker 1: the thing called Punk Rock Christmas at Delmar Hall here
Speaker 1: in St. Louis. Chris went to attend. They did this
Speaker 1: thing where they're like giving mohawks for charity, So if
Speaker 1: you volunteered have your head shaved on stage, some money
Speaker 1: would be donated by someone who was putting. I don't
Speaker 1: really know the logistics of it. All I know is
Speaker 1: my boyfriend volunteered dev a mohawk shaved, and I wanted
Speaker 1: to start a charity for women whose boyfriends decided to
Speaker 1: get a mohawk one December night and not ask their permission.
Speaker 1: And did Tim get a mohawk? Did Chris's brother get
Speaker 1: a mohawk? Current, yes, he got a mohawk, but he
Speaker 1: he did. He almost did like a fade on the sides.
Speaker 1: Didn't even look like a mohawk. It was just a
Speaker 1: slight fade. It looked like fashionable. Chris got a whole
Speaker 1: mohawk totally shaved to the fucking like skin head except
Speaker 1: through the mohawk. Did Tim get one? Know why? Because
Speaker 1: his wife was like, we have Christmas pictures, you're not
Speaker 1: doing that that is the difference between a wife and
Speaker 1: a girlfriend. Did Chris consoled me before this? Hell fucking no.
Speaker 1: I just started getting text from him people that were
Speaker 1: there being like, oh why, and I'm like, what is
Speaker 1: going on? I'm like, I hope he's dead. I can't
Speaker 1: even have whatever else this could be. And he so
Speaker 1: then I see a picture of him, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I like this. Like as much as I was like,
Speaker 1: it's not the best look, Like I'm not necessarily like
Speaker 1: in face, like this isn't the most attractive look for
Speaker 1: him for me, I was still like, you still look good,
Speaker 1: you know, like, and I liked I like that this
Speaker 1: guy who's forty one doesn't care about his hair so much.
Speaker 1: He's not so precious about his looks even though he's
Speaker 1: a good looking guy that he would do something this
Speaker 1: fun and spontaneous. That is a quality I like my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: And so I was like, you know what, I like this.
Speaker 1: I think it's kind of lame if he were like, no,
Speaker 1: I care about my hair too much to do this
Speaker 1: fun thing. I looked at the lovely side of it,
Speaker 1: even though I had to suffer with my boyfriend having
Speaker 1: a mohawk, so he had a Mowauk for a while
Speaker 1: and then he decided to. One day, he just shaved
Speaker 1: it all off and I was like, oh, that actually
Speaker 1: looks pretty good. And then it grew out like two
Speaker 1: days after it was like it was probably a quarter
Speaker 1: of an inch long. And I don't know what the
Speaker 1: fuck happened, but I have never been so horny from
Speaker 1: my boyfriend. And it is the hottest look. I go,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm getting a Josh Hartnett vibe when he used
Speaker 1: to have, and I go, I call it. I started
Speaker 1: calling him prison Break because he also looked like Wentworth
Speaker 1: Miller from Prison Break. He looks so yeah, he looks
Speaker 1: so good and he never would have had this haircut
Speaker 1: had it not been for the stupid mohawk thing. And
Speaker 1: now it's kind of growing out a little bit. And
Speaker 1: last night I was like, I mean last night, he
Speaker 1: was trying to talk to me about something serious and
Speaker 1: I was literally like looking at his mouth, like just
Speaker 1: getting and this is It's been rare since I have
Speaker 1: looked at my boyfriend that I've been with forever and
Speaker 1: been so it felt like a first date vibes where
Speaker 1: you're like, I can't wait to have kiss this person.
Speaker 1: Like I know we're going to I don't know when
Speaker 1: it felt like that. I was that excited because I
Speaker 1: was like, he is so hot. He's so hot, like
Speaker 1: he was just and I was just like and so
Speaker 1: I told him. Later on we were like playing watching alone.
Speaker 1: I was like, so, what are you gonna Are you
Speaker 1: gonna like keep this hair, like you gotta shave it again?
Speaker 1: And he was just like what, I go, you gotta
Speaker 1: we gotta figure out the setting on the tremor so
Speaker 1: like you have to, like you can't abandon that. And
Speaker 1: he was like, no, I was planning on growing it
Speaker 1: all back. And I'm like no, no, Like I got
Speaker 1: really really upset. I'm like, this is the best look.
Speaker 1: I love the way it feels. I'm so into it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, he came over to Nikki's the day of
Speaker 1: her show or the day the girls were over before
Speaker 1: the New Year's Eve show, and he brought like insomnia cookies.
Speaker 1: Heated up warm cookies at like eleven PM and all
Speaker 1: of us were on the verge of falling asleep and
Speaker 1: then he walks in like Jason stayed them with these
Speaker 1: warm cookies. Everyone's like Chris, he looks like he has
Speaker 1: like a rifle in the back of his pants. It's
Speaker 1: so good, like he's gonna scale a building. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: so into it. And he but then last night, he goes,
Speaker 1: I think this is a case of you like you
Speaker 1: love me and so you like it. And I go,
Speaker 1: I guarantee you that's not it, Like I love I
Speaker 1: have felt this way about you. Nothing's changed in the
Speaker 1: way I feel about you. It's just the haircut. It's
Speaker 1: fucking good. And I said, my friends even commented on
Speaker 1: it when you dropped off the cookies the other night,
Speaker 1: like this is a good look for you, and he goes,
Speaker 1: He goes, I almost feel like it's also when these
Speaker 1: when girls like make their boyfriends unattractive because they want
Speaker 1: to like, but he's mine now, and I go, I
Speaker 1: want women to want to fuck you. Like you don't understand,
Speaker 1: like this is I like, you look like a movie star.
Speaker 1: So girls, grow out your leg er do it. I
Speaker 1: had a boyfriend tell me to grow my leg here
Speaker 1: out and I was like twenty one, and I did,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, crumbs on your crumbs. I shaved my
Speaker 1: arm hair yesterday. I got bored in the shower because
Speaker 1: I take such short showers and I was just trying
Speaker 1: to be in there longer because I just don't know
Speaker 1: what to do you And I was like, I'll shave
Speaker 1: my arms and it feels so good before, and it's
Speaker 1: not true. It doesn't grow back worse, do you? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like I shave my legs every single day
Speaker 1: in the shower. It takes no time. I take three
Speaker 1: minute showers and I shave my whole legs and my
Speaker 1: pussy and my asshole and my armpits. Adding my arms
Speaker 1: to it is going to take another eleven seconds at most.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I have a new thing to
Speaker 1: shave now, I'm just gonna have shaved arms. Fuck it,
Speaker 1: I've always had What was that? It's like it's folly,
Speaker 1: It's it's like the Dermo planning, but for your arms. Yes,
Speaker 1: I've always said that about shaving your legs. It feels
Speaker 1: as if you are squeegeeing the dirt off like a window.
Speaker 1: And so I I don't feel sha sometime, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I shave my face to it. I don't. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to do it, not every time. I'm always scared.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna keep going up to my eyebrows. What
Speaker 1: was that got a little favorite of the bone structure
Speaker 1: for no eyebrows. I did that once. I didn't know
Speaker 1: the first film role. Yeah, I got my I got
Speaker 1: taft hearted for that. There's a phone and what are
Speaker 1: you saying? So in order to get your SAG card,
Speaker 1: you get taft heartled along a lot of times, which
Speaker 1: is in the eleventh hour, they'll just like make you sag.
Speaker 1: They'll they'll make you a member of the union because
Speaker 1: you've got a job and you have to be in
Speaker 1: the union to work on the film. So they'll be like,
Speaker 1: just taff hearty her, which is like accelerate the process.
Speaker 1: So I got a job in a Hundred Girls. It
Speaker 1: was my first feature film, and I play a girl
Speaker 1: who has tricky girl number. Yeah, pretty much. I run
Speaker 1: the dorm hall. I'm like the girl that Why have
Speaker 1: we not watched this movie? You're in a movie. You
Speaker 1: have a role in a movie. Yes, I have one
Speaker 1: line and I shaved my eyebrows for the role. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, what was your line? Man in the hall?
Speaker 1: Why do you have to have trick it till the mania?
Speaker 1: Why was that a thing about you that we would
Speaker 1: even No, I just this sounds like a boyfriend trying
Speaker 1: to get you looking crazy. Did a boyfriend have anything
Speaker 1: that was he directing it? No? Not just put tape
Speaker 1: over your Like, So do they grow did they grow
Speaker 1: back weird? Because eyebrows are one thing better. It was
Speaker 1: really fun because I was I was able to like
Speaker 1: draw them on for a while, and that was kind
Speaker 1: of fun, and I learned how to shape my eyebrows
Speaker 1: a lit more. They were weird for a few weeks
Speaker 1: and then they almost grew back better. All right, shave
Speaker 1: your I mean, this is the same thing where my
Speaker 1: sister like got a better body after she had three kids, Like,
Speaker 1: she has a better body now than she's never had.
Speaker 1: Something like, maybe I need to have three kids to
Speaker 1: have that kind of body. Maybe I need to shave
Speaker 1: my eyebrows to have the right kind of eyebrows. This
Speaker 1: is all up, All right, guys, we gotta go. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Don't shave your eyebrows. Don't be and
Speaker 1: it I got de borrow