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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcast and we have.

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Speaker 2: Some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So we'll stick around two minutes and

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Speaker 1: we'll get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My parents treated me like a servant, and I've had enough.

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Speaker 4: I'm not sure errand by mom my family sucks.

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Speaker 3: I seventeen Mail, turn eighteen in two weeks, and I'm

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Speaker 3: getting the heck out of here as soon as the

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Speaker 3: clock strikes midnight. My parents have extreme bias towards my

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Speaker 3: younger brothers, sixteen and fifteen.

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Speaker 5: Mail.

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Speaker 3: It's been like this my whole life, and I have

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Speaker 3: no idea why. By the way, this comes from Purple

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Speaker 3: Indian Frog, three seventy nine, And if you want to

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Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime. Sobernate,

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Speaker 3: I'm Sam, and.

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Speaker 6: I'm Riley and I'm Lee Low.

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Speaker 3: But we're here to give you good advice. Goofy, But

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Speaker 3: we don't have all the answers. We only know what

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Speaker 3: we'd do, So let us know what you would do

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Speaker 3: in the comments. So if he says I've been the

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Speaker 3: one who had to do all the chores in the

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Speaker 3: house while also being forced to play every single sport

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Speaker 3: I possibly could, to the point where my schedule was

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Speaker 3: packed three six five days a year. My father told

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Speaker 3: me it would teach me to be a real man.

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Speaker 3: But my brothers never had to do any of that crap.

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Speaker 3: They're both lazy as heck, sitting around playing video games

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Speaker 3: all day and night. They missed school at least thirty

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Speaker 3: percent of the year, and are constantly spoiled rotten by

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Speaker 3: my parents. They already have thousands of dollars from birthdays, Christmas,

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Speaker 3: and other holidays. As soon as I turned twelve, I

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Speaker 3: was told I would no longer be receiving any gifts

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Speaker 3: from my parents other than bear essentials. I had to

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Speaker 3: pay for my phone and any other expenses I wanted,

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Speaker 3: and could never ask for anything. I couldn't even own

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Speaker 3: a phone or anything really special for myself until I

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Speaker 3: was sixteen because I couldn't find any jobs that paid

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Speaker 3: decent money. My parents also expect me to take care

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Speaker 3: of my younger brothers when I'm an adult. Both of

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Speaker 3: them have decided they won't be going to college and

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Speaker 3: don't plan on working a day in their lives. My

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Speaker 3: father told me, we kept you alive. You owe it

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Speaker 3: to us if you I'm leaving a nasty letter on

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Speaker 3: the table when I leave and changing my phone number,

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Speaker 3: emails and everything. They will never be able to contact me,

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Speaker 3: no matter how are they try. I know my younger

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Speaker 3: brothers are going to be screwed for life since they

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Speaker 3: have zero experience surviving in the real world.

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Speaker 2: But I don't care.

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Speaker 3: That's my parents burden now. I hope they go broke

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Speaker 3: funding my brother's lifestyles, and I hope they lose everything.

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Speaker 3: I have no sympathy for these people, and I will

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Speaker 3: never feel bad no matter what happens to them. The

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Speaker 3: only thing I owe to my parents is the fact that,

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Speaker 3: because of their crappy treatment over the years, I am

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Speaker 3: well more than capable of surviving on my own. I'll

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Speaker 3: be going to college to study finance in Virginia. They

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Speaker 3: have no idea I'd been accepted to any college, never

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Speaker 3: even asked, and I'm also very physically fit from playing

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Speaker 3: six sports a year. But the true will never go away.

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Speaker 3: They took away my entire childhood, and I will never

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Speaker 3: forgive them for that. They can all go f themselves

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Speaker 3: and there are some comments. Comment one says, it's very

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Speaker 3: strange that they treat you so different, but you have

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Speaker 3: no explanation as to why. Other times I've heard stories

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Speaker 3: like this, it was because the child did not actually

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Speaker 3: belonged to one of the parents. Usually the father ever

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Speaker 3: had a DNA test. Comment two says, leave cut them

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Speaker 3: off and live your best life. Counseling might be a

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Speaker 3: good idea so that the trauma and hurt of your

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Speaker 3: childhood does not fester. You deserved a happy and loving

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Speaker 3: childhood like every child. Good luck, Opie, and comments that

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Speaker 3: seemed relevant to Opie's update. Comment three says, make sure

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Speaker 3: your parents are not on your bank account super important. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: bank accounts made for miners generally required an adult who

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Speaker 3: also be on the account. This adult can do whatever

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Speaker 3: they want with the funds in the account. When I

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Speaker 3: was in the Army, there were quite a few people

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Speaker 3: that checked their bank account after basic training to discover

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Speaker 3: that the last two months of pay were stole in

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Speaker 3: by their parents because they still had mom and dad

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Speaker 3: on their bank account. Comment four also, make sure you

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Speaker 3: have your critical documents birth certificate, social Security card, all

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Speaker 3: of that info and you should probably buy a freeze

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Speaker 3: on your credit. Your parents sound like scumbags. Watch out

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Speaker 3: in order to find runaway kids. Some parents falsely accuse

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Speaker 3: them of stealing something to put the police on their heads.

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Speaker 3: Common six says happy at birthday. Today's your birthday made? Oh,

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Speaker 3: don't forget everything you need, pack up and go go

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Speaker 3: go leap of faith, and there is an update, folks. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm happy to report that I am officially gone. The

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Speaker 3: last two weeks after I made this post have been

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Speaker 3: crazy stressful, but I'll sum them up here. I changed

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Speaker 3: my number a few days ago by calling my SIM

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Speaker 3: card provider. Then I got a copy of my birth certificate.

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Speaker 3: Since I don't know where the original was, I couldn't

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Speaker 3: just ask my parents. And I also made sure to

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Speaker 3: check that my bank account was secure and not shared

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Speaker 3: with my parents. This is so impressive to be doing

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Speaker 3: all of this at seventeen.

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Speaker 6: Yeah. Great, Yeah, great job dude.

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Speaker 3: Good hustle, good hustle.

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Speaker 6: Also, yeah, social security number? Did did you say?

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Speaker 3: Yes? Yeah?

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Speaker 6: Okay, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I purchased a plane ticket to dul Dulles International Airport

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Speaker 3: in Virginia, just outside of where I'll be attending college

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Speaker 3: in Fairfax. Finally, I called one of my cousins who

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Speaker 3: I'm very close with, and asked him to please pick

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Speaker 3: me up at around twelve thirty am last night. He

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Speaker 3: agreed with my decision to leave and told me he

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Speaker 3: was proud of me for taking action to improve my life.

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Speaker 3: If you have a good relationship with your cousin, I'm

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Speaker 3: wondering what the other familial relationships are like, because why

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Speaker 3: is anyone kind of letting this happen?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, do you wanna answer uncles that are able

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Speaker 4: to support in some sort of way so you have

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Speaker 4: some sort of family.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm a big family guy, me too.

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Speaker 4: And it's hard what you're doing, and I feel.

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Speaker 3: For you, but having that support system.

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Speaker 6: It's definitely helpful, super.

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Speaker 3: Especially because you're moving.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I packed my stuff up after everyone had gone to

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Speaker 3: sleep and waited. I decided to keep min out short

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Speaker 3: and sweet. All I wrote down was that I was

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Speaker 3: moving to go to college in California and that I

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Speaker 3: was never coming back. And that was a lie because

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Speaker 3: Opie's not going to California.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, way to throw them off your sense, throw them

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Speaker 6: off the trail.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, last night, my cousin picked me up. We went

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Speaker 3: to the police station, where I gave them my proper

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Speaker 3: identification and inform them that I am not missing and

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Speaker 3: I am leaving on my own accord now that I'm eighteen.

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Speaker 3: They told me they'll keep it in mind and we'll

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Speaker 3: watch out for that potential call in the next few days.

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Speaker 3: I got a few hours of sleep at my cousins

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Speaker 3: and then flew out of New Orleans International at six am.

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Speaker 3: I am now sitting in my college dorm, nine hundred

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Speaker 3: and fifty miles from home, and I've never been happier

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Speaker 3: in my life. I can't wait to meet new people

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Speaker 3: and finally enjoy my youth. Thank you to everyone who

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Speaker 3: gave me great advice on Earth and commented their support.

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Speaker 3: I didn't expect this post to take off like it did,

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Speaker 3: but I'm happy my story has affected so many and

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Speaker 3: there is a second update. But yeah, oh he's doing great.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, dude's super proud of you.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean, what a huge move, huge step in your life.

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Speaker 3: I mean, just in general, to go to college is already.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's exciting. Yeah, congraduates getting into college, but then.

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Speaker 3: To like completely leave behind your family and also have

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Speaker 3: to go to the police, Yeah, and get all of

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Speaker 3: these documents that normally your family would take care of.

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Speaker 3: Huge very big update. Two dang, this post took off again.

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Speaker 3: These past two days, my phone has been blowing up

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Speaker 3: with demands for an update, so I shall deliver. Life

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Speaker 3: has been good. I've been in contact with the cousin

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Speaker 3: who helped me, and also a few other family members

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Speaker 3: from back home. He said that my mother came to

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Speaker 3: their house the day after I left to talk to

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Speaker 3: my aunt about me leaving. She cried and gave my

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Speaker 3: aunt this whole, sob story about how she can't believe

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Speaker 3: I would abandon them, and my aunt told her maybe

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Speaker 3: she shouldn't have treated me so horribly throughout my whole life.

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Speaker 3: This caused a huge fight and ended with my mom

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Speaker 3: being thrown out of their house. So it seems me

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Speaker 3: leaving caused pretty much the uproar I imagined. I've been

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Speaker 3: doing well, met plenty of new people and made friends

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Speaker 3: via classes and dorm neighbors. I'm in a better mental

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Speaker 3: state that I've been in a very long time. I

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Speaker 3: feel so relieved, and it just feels like a huge

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Speaker 3: weight is lifted off my shoulder. It feels so good

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Speaker 3: coming on here and reading all the support and positive

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Speaker 3: comments I'm receiving. I'm really grateful for this community, and

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Speaker 3: I will continue to post updates, and we're just gonna

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Speaker 3: get right into this third update. I waited a long

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Speaker 3: time between updates to really let my life unfold so

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Speaker 3: I could fill you guys in on a lot. Things

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Speaker 3: have been great. I went back into my hometown for

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Speaker 3: Thanksgiving of Christmas to spend time with my aunts, uncles,

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Speaker 3: and cousins literal blocks away from my parents' house, but

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Speaker 3: they are not welcome at those events anymore. So I

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Speaker 3: wasn't worried. They still don't know where I am or

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Speaker 3: what I'm up to, and I've apparently given up on trying,

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Speaker 3: which I'm perfectly happy about. Any final thoughts, Uh, yeah,

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Speaker 3: bring it on home.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry that you had to find the support here.

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Speaker 4: We're happy to give that support. That support should have

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Speaker 4: came from your family.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm worried about your brothers, yeah, because I mean,

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Speaker 3: even though they were quote unquote like favored, Yeah, they

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Speaker 3: weren't really you know, they haven't learned any life skills.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they're They're not any better for the way that

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Speaker 4: your parents have treated them. No, but right now you're

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Speaker 4: you're taking care of number one. Yeah, which is it's

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Speaker 4: your progative. It's what you got to do.

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Speaker 3: You got to do it, so yeah, there you go.

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Speaker 3: But Op finishes. College has been great, made lots of

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Speaker 3: new friends, and I've been keeping the grades up three

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Speaker 3: point nine GPA. I love my new life. Honestly. I

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Speaker 3: never went to therapy or anything, despite numerous suggestions from

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Speaker 3: some of you, but I feel like I've done well

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Speaker 3: enough without it. I've learned in these months how resilient

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Speaker 3: I really am. I got two jobs on the side

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Speaker 3: at different restaurants in the town around campus, mostly dishwashing

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Speaker 3: and working on.

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Speaker 6: Salads salad bar.

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Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, simple stuff, but I'm making enough side cash

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Speaker 3: to provide for myself. Since I got a free ride

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Speaker 3: to jam you, I don't have to worry about a

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Speaker 3: college savings account or anything. So that's a huge plus.

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Speaker 6: That's incredible free ride.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you did so many sports. I would

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Speaker 3: hope that you got something from all that.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, or even academic. If he's at three point nine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, probably he was probably doing well back in high school.

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Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story. A mom

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Speaker 3: tried to blame me for protecting her kid from a stranger.

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Speaker 6: Uh, very ungrateful, mom.

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Speaker 3: I'm honestly not sure what's going on. Abby is my

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Speaker 3: daughter's best friend and Amy is her mom. For background,

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Speaker 3: these two girls have been best friends since kindergarten. They

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Speaker 3: have celebrated birthdays, Christmas, and millions of sleepovers together. And

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Speaker 3: Abby spends so much time at my home. I even

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Speaker 3: got my daughter a trundle bed for when she spends

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Speaker 3: the night. By the way, this comes from you did

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Speaker 3: remote one seven nine, and if you want to submit

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Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime

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Speaker 3: subbured it.

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Speaker 4: I'm Sophia, and I'm Vincent and I'm keon Dresses li Lo.

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Speaker 3: And we're here to make funny times and funny advice

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Speaker 3: for you. But we don't have all the answers. We

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Speaker 3: only know what we'd do, So let us know what

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Speaker 3: you would do in the comments. But uh ohp says

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Speaker 3: now to the story. This started last Monday. Amy works

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Speaker 3: the night shift and sometimes her mom can't watch Abby.

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Speaker 3: Amy asked me to watch Abby Friday night and that

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Speaker 3: she would pick her up Saturday afternoon. I have no

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Speaker 3: problem watching Abby. She's a sweetheart, so I agreed. This

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Speaker 3: is also a regular thing for us. Abby spends at

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Speaker 3: least one Friday of the month at my home. Well,

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Speaker 3: fast forward to Friday, and there haven't been any updates

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Speaker 3: to change the sleepover plans. Friday comes and I pick

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Speaker 3: the girls up. We have a normal sleepover day, watching movies,

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Speaker 3: eating snacks, ordering pizza, etc. Well, the girls are in

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Speaker 3: their room and I'm in my room when my ring

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Speaker 3: camera gives me a notification that someone is at my door.

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Speaker 3: I look at my camera and it's a guy that

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Speaker 3: I don't recognize. It's nine fifteen, so not extremely late,

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Speaker 3: but I still didn't physically answer my door. I responded

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Speaker 3: on my camera asking who he was and what he wanted.

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Speaker 3: The mystery guy told me that he was Amy's boyfriend

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Speaker 3: and he was eager to get Abby. These are my

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Speaker 3: issues with that I don't know this man. I didn't

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Speaker 3: know Amy was even dating a guy, especially not serious

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Speaker 3: enough for him to show up unannounced at my home.

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Speaker 3: And when I showed Abby the guy and asked if

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Speaker 3: she knew him, she just said, that's my mom's friend

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Speaker 3: that comes over when I'm getting on the bus. I

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Speaker 3: asked her if she knew his name, or anything else,

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Speaker 3: and Abby said no. At this point, I've already texted

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Speaker 3: and called Amy several times to try and ask her,

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Speaker 3: but I am not getting any response. I tell the

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Speaker 3: guy using my camera that Amy isn't responding to me

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Speaker 3: and that I need her permission before I give him

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Speaker 3: her child. The mystery guy tries to convince me, saying

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Speaker 3: that he was supposed to watch Abby at first, but

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Speaker 3: something came up. He ended up free now and wanted

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Speaker 3: to get her. I still expressed that without a text,

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Speaker 3: call or something from Amy, I would not allow Abby

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Speaker 3: to leave my home. Plus I was told that Abby

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Speaker 3: was supposed to be with her grandmother before the plans

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Speaker 3: changed to me. The mystery guy got upset, hit my door,

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Speaker 3: then left. I genuinely thought this was the right thing

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Speaker 3: to do for me. This was a stranger that Abby

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Speaker 3: didn't know, asking to get Abby at nine o'clock without

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Speaker 3: having any proof Amy told them to Well, that was

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Speaker 3: the wrong thing to do. Apparently, Saturday morning comes and

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Speaker 3: I'm making up breakfast when somebody starts banging on my door.

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Speaker 3: I opened the door and Amy comes and cutting and

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Speaker 3: screaming the whole nine yards. She's accusing me of kidnapping

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Speaker 3: her child, saying she'll report me to CPS, and a

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Speaker 3: lot of threats, essentially to Amy, I was supposed to

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Speaker 3: send her daughter with a man that Abby her daughter

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Speaker 3: and I didn't know. According to her, her boyfriend, whom

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Speaker 3: she's been dating for four months, should be allowed to

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Speaker 3: randomly come over and get Abby. I may have reacted

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Speaker 3: poorly because I laughed. By this point, Amy woke up

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Speaker 3: the girls and they were watching her yell while I

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Speaker 3: laughed and got breakfast ready. I questioned her, why didn't

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Speaker 3: you text me back anytime last night? You've been off

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Speaker 3: work for a while. How did you just now realize

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Speaker 3: that your daughter was still here. Why didn't you text

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Speaker 3: her call me telling me about the change of plans.

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Speaker 3: How was I supposed to know some guy was going

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Speaker 3: to get Abby if you told me your mom was

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Speaker 3: supposed to watch her before me. Amy's responses were basically

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Speaker 3: that she didn't have to report every guy she f

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Speaker 3: to me, and I agree, But if you have a

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Speaker 3: stranger coming to my home to get your child that

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Speaker 3: is in my care, I deserve to at least know

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Speaker 3: someone is coming. She left after this. Now Abby has

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Speaker 3: told my daughter that Amy says they can't be friends

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Speaker 3: until I apologize. I'm torn because part of me wants

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Speaker 3: my daughter to have good friendships, but I honestly don't

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Speaker 3: understand how I'm even close to being wrong. I'm still

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Speaker 3: trying to decide if I need to apologize, and atit,

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Speaker 3: I decided to message Amy to try and meet and talk.

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Speaker 3: I don't want something to be going on with Abby

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Speaker 3: or even Amy that I'm missing. And there are some comments,

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Speaker 3: but do you have any thoughts?

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Speaker 4: I wonder, because there is no problems before this, I

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Speaker 4: wonder what the relationship between this guy and your friend is. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it sounds like he went back to her. There might

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Speaker 4: there might there might be some issues with that relationship

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Speaker 4: that made her on the door. Yeah, if he's banging

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Speaker 4: on the door. Also, if a dude's banging out your door,

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Speaker 4: it kind of showing like violent tendency.

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Speaker 3: And that's what I'm thinking.

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Speaker 4: Which is a big red flag, like make sure your

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Speaker 4: friend is okay. Yeah, that's my big thing, if.

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Speaker 3: You're able to look in it at all. But I

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Speaker 3: do also think, I mean, I think Op is worried

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Speaker 3: about separating her kid from Abby, which is a valid worry,

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Speaker 3: But I also think I mean you don't really want

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Speaker 3: to hang around, like have your kid hang around, not

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Speaker 3: only Amy, but also if Amy's gonna have boyfriend around. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I can't. I mean I wouldn't feel comfortable sending my

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Speaker 3: kid over to their house anymore.

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Speaker 4: No, absolutely not, especially like her saying I don't need

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Speaker 4: to report every guy if.

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Speaker 6: To you like how many guys like.

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Speaker 3: That's what I'd like if I'm sending my kid over

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Speaker 3: to you. Mm hmm, I would be worried about that.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Common one says, I feel so bad for the kids.

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Speaker 3: That stranger at your door sounded completely shady, and only

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Speaker 3: a fool would send Abby off with them. She didn't

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Speaker 3: even know his name. His persistence makes it worse, Ohpi replied, Honestly,

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Speaker 3: I didn't add this because it sounded crazy and I

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Speaker 3: thought it was my memory making it worse. But when

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Speaker 3: I said no, and it was a clear no, it's

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Speaker 3: like his demeanor change, like when he first came. My

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Speaker 3: answer was no. But if Amy would have called me

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Speaker 3: and said, oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 3: I would have sent Abby. But after he hit my

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Speaker 3: door and muttered it was like, I don't know how

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Speaker 3: to explain it. Kind of like a scary movie when

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Speaker 3: they reveal who the villain is to the audience. I

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Speaker 3: know that sounds crazy, and Comment two says Amy is

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Speaker 3: the old year All she had to do was apologize

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Speaker 3: for not telling you her boyfriend would possibly be picking

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Speaker 3: up the kid. The fact that he got mad and

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Speaker 3: started acting out at your doorstep is seriously concerning and

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Speaker 3: should concern Amy about how he acted. Honestly, you've been

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Speaker 3: a doormat for this woman, giving her free babysitting duties,

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00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,600
Speaker 3: et cetera for a long time, and she's become an

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00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:08,919
Speaker 3: entitled pos Don't worry. Next time she needs someone to

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Speaker 3: watch her daughter and she'll come back and pretend nothing happened.

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00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,520
Speaker 3: I suggest you distanced yourself from someone who threatened to

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Speaker 3: call the cops and CPS on you for doing the

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Speaker 3: smart thing and not handing a ten year old to

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Speaker 3: a stranger. Oh P replies, I honestly helped out because

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Speaker 3: I understand how hard it is to be a single mom.

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Speaker 3: It took me a long time to get my footing

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Speaker 3: in the world, and honestly, I have several people keeping

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Speaker 3: me afloat. I honestly needed to hear that I wasn't crazy.

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Speaker 3: Comment three says you're not crazy. You did the right thing,

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Speaker 3: But are you sure everything's okay with Amy? Does she

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Speaker 3: usually act like this? Maybe there were consequences for her

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Speaker 3: not allowing her daughter to be taken. I'm not suggesting

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Speaker 3: apologizing to her, but maybe once she's calmed down, you

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Speaker 3: should check in to see if all is okay. She

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Speaker 3: might see logic now separating victims from their support system

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Speaker 3: i e. You and pulling control moves like demanding to

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Speaker 3: look after their kids would be red flags for a

384
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Speaker 3: harmful partner. In my book, Opie says, Honestly, your response

385
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 3: seems the most fitting. I've known Amy for years, and

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't say we're just best friends, but we see

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00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:19,040
Speaker 3: each other multiple times a month. We never had any

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Speaker 3: issue close to this. Comment for says you did not

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Speaker 3: ruin anything. Amy is in the wrong year. The fact

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Speaker 3: that she never got back to you until the next

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Speaker 3: morning is so crazy. I am sorry your daughter might

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Speaker 3: be losing a close friend, but I don't trust the

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Speaker 3: other mom. If your daughter was sleeping at her house

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Speaker 3: and the same situation happened, she probably would give that

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Speaker 3: person your kid.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, that's that's yes, another concerning thing, like

397
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Speaker 5: if that's the standard she's expecting from, Like, imagine if

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Speaker 5: you wake up and your kid stay was staying at

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Speaker 5: their place and now they're in the wind.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

401
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Speaker 6: I would. Yeah, that's very concerning.

402
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, you did nothing wrong, and I hope your daughter

403
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 3: sees that. Opie says, I'm honestly so happy that our

404
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,280
Speaker 3: schedules always made it so that sleepovers happened at my house.

405
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Speaker 3: I am worried about Abby now though, How could Abby

406
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Speaker 3: trust a man she's only known for four weeks with

407
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Speaker 3: her child or my address. Any final thoughts or advice

408
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:14,160
Speaker 3: for op.

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Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, it's it's tough that your your daughter

410
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,320
Speaker 4: is going to be losing to friends. Yeah, but also

411
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 4: you need to protect her mm hmm. Check in on

412
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Speaker 4: your friend. Yeah, because I don't know, this guy is sending.

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Speaker 6: Up a lot of red flags.

414
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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, obviously do it tactfully when they're open to

415
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Speaker 4: being talked to.

416
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Speaker 3: But yeah, I think giving it at least a couple

417
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:41,199
Speaker 3: of days before we approach the subject. Yeah, but just

418
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,399
Speaker 3: asking like, hey, what you know you doing? Okay, not

419
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Speaker 3: to mention his reaction when you wouldn't let him take

420
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Speaker 3: her he was pretty upset about her gomment replying to

421
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Speaker 3: Ope says, right, a person thinking rationally would take ten

422
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,960
Speaker 3: seconds and think, oh, hey, Amy forgot to mention. I'd

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Speaker 3: be picking Abby up before the end of the plans sleepover,

424
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Speaker 3: and I've never met Ope. I can see how weird

425
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Speaker 3: this might look. Then he'd say something like, oh, that's

426
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Speaker 3: no problem. Guess there was a miscommunication somewhere along the

427
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:12,119
Speaker 3: line there. Sorry, Hope you and the kids have a

428
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:16,120
Speaker 3: good evening. He might like, wave this in and of

429
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:21,880
Speaker 3: itself sounds us and that's it. After decades of neglect,

430
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Speaker 3: my mom suddenly wants to be my friend.

431
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Speaker 6: Okay Mom.

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Speaker 3: In an attempt to give some context, I twenty eight

433
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,639
Speaker 3: female was an uh oh baby between my parents who

434
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 3: had a turbulent relationship on a good day. They haven't

435
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,679
Speaker 3: been together for any of my life and do not

436
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,440
Speaker 3: like each other. Mom fifties female was a heavy drinker

437
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 3: the entirety of my growing up and beyond pair this

438
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 3: with some self absorbed tendencies verbal use, and she's not

439
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 3: my favorite parent. By the way, this comes from el

440
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 3: Friday and if you want to submit your own stories,

441
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay Storytime separate it. I'm Sophia,

442
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:56,639
Speaker 3: and I'm.

443
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 5: Vincent and I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good

444
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 5: advice school.

445
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

446
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 3: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

447
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,919
Speaker 3: do in the comments and opie sis. She missed a

448
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,160
Speaker 3: lot of school and sport events because she either forgot,

449
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:16,439
Speaker 3: was wasted, or some combo of both, and also probably

450
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:21,360
Speaker 3: a trigger warning for child neglect uh and maybe alcoholism.

451
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 3: Lots of other parents giving me rides home because she'd

452
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 3: throw a fit if dad gave me a ride home

453
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,639
Speaker 3: because it wasn't his time. She didn't like that I

454
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 3: wasn't stereotypically girly and wasn't subtle about it. She married

455
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 3: and had my half brother with a not nice man.

456
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 3: He was great with me until he realized I'd never

457
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 3: seen him as more important than my biodad. Through college,

458
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 3: I tried calling weekly, but despite being a stay at

459
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,840
Speaker 3: home mom, I'm not knocking this, she never had the

460
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 3: time to talk or was too tired, so naturally I

461
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 3: stopped calling. She can call when she has time, skipping

462
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 3: over a lot. He and my brother are verbally harmful,

463
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:02,639
Speaker 3: really into pupus and, according to my mom, also physically armed.

464
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,919
Speaker 3: I've seen enough to believe her to an extent, but

465
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 3: history with her also has a lot of false accusations

466
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 3: and making up stuff that I was there for. I

467
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,919
Speaker 3: was weary enough that I'd lock my bedroom door to

468
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,440
Speaker 3: sleep when i'd visit for holidays. About a year ago,

469
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 3: she finally left him, has her own apartment and is

470
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:22,360
Speaker 3: in the middle of a very rough divorce. She's been

471
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 3: sober for a year and change, but I've been through

472
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 3: enough that I simply don't trust her to remain that way.

473
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 3: I am so happy she left him. I'm sorry she's

474
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 3: going through a rough time, but I'm tired of being

475
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 3: her crutch. She started calling more one to two times

476
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 3: a week instead of maybe once a month. One of

477
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 3: a time, she brought up that I don't call her anymore,

478
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,400
Speaker 3: and I said something like I don't really call anyone,

479
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 3: which then came, well, I'm your mother, so you can

480
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 3: call me. I've had her on an information diet for

481
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 3: years because I don't trust her to respect boundaries. She

482
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 3: has made fun of any that I tried to set,

483
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 3: like don't call me at six am unless it's an emergency.

484
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,199
Speaker 3: One of the early phone calls included an apology for

485
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 3: anything she did that hurt me while she was drinking.

486
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 3: No real thought into what she did, just that blanket

487
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,239
Speaker 3: statement in her mind that's absolved her of everything and

488
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 3: we should be a regular Laura Lai and Rory Gilmore.

489
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 3: I just got a text that she wants to have

490
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,360
Speaker 3: a good chat because she really feels our relationship could

491
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,399
Speaker 3: be better. I get a sense of dread every time

492
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:29,120
Speaker 3: she calls. It's usually just bland small talk, but she's

493
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 3: been pushing more and more for me to schedule a visit.

494
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,879
Speaker 3: Pandemic has been a handy excuse. She's been better than

495
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 3: she was while I was growing up, so I feel

496
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:39,160
Speaker 3: like I should give her a chance. But I feel

497
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 3: like I'm just repeating the same cycle we've been on

498
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 3: for my entire adulthood. Trust her to be my mom

499
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 3: works for like six months, Get blown up at because

500
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 3: I don't want to take her recommendation for a trash can,

501
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,439
Speaker 3: or get a call from a family member about her

502
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,640
Speaker 3: being on a bender. Get hurt personal life suffers because

503
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:58,399
Speaker 3: it triggers trust issues an anxiety. But she's also in

504
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,200
Speaker 3: a really low place right now. The divorce and having

505
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 3: minimal contact with my brother too. How do I tell

506
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,880
Speaker 3: her that the fact that we're still talking is about

507
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 3: as good as she's going to get, And we've got

508
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 3: some replies from ope, Opie says, I've been working in a

509
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 3: response that balances blunt truth with not putting the explaining

510
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 3: how her actions have affected me on my shoulders and

511
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 3: keep focus on the boundaries. I've made a list and

512
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,199
Speaker 3: am making a point of repeating this isn't up for

513
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 3: debate or compromise, in point blank that she has to

514
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 3: respect what I'm asking for. Emphasis on respecting when I

515
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,199
Speaker 3: say any variants of no, I'm calling her tonight, so

516
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,400
Speaker 3: fingers crossed. I'm definitely worried that even if she does

517
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 3: respond well to me being honest with her, it's just

518
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 3: her doing what she needs to to keep me around

519
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,959
Speaker 3: while she needs support. I want so badly to trust

520
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 3: that she's better, but I don't know what would have

521
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 3: to happen for me to do that. I'm sorry to

522
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,679
Speaker 3: hear about your dad, but glad you've been able to

523
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 3: maintain distance. I think I'm willing to give her a call,

524
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 3: but to your point, I don't know that I want

525
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 3: a conversation. Other comments of death given me a lot

526
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 3: to think about in terms of what exactly I'll say,

527
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 3: But I don't think I'm interested in hearing her side

528
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:10,119
Speaker 3: of things. Just this is where our relationship is. This

529
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 3: is very concise reason why. This is what I'm willing

530
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 3: to put in. And like you said, if she gets upset,

531
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 3: that's my cute immuter. I needed to hear that. That's

532
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 3: something I've been trying to avoid. I've been trying to

533
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 3: give her the benefit of the doubt that she was

534
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 3: blacked out didn't remember, but it doesn't change the impact

535
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 3: of her actions on me. I almost did cut contact

536
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 3: a few years ago, but I was still trying to

537
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 3: have a relationship with my little brother so much for that.

538
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,239
Speaker 3: I think there's part of me that wants to confront her,

539
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 3: have her react poorly, and have a good reason to

540
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 3: finally cut her out and have a stricter low contact boundary.

541
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 3: On the other side, if she does react well, I

542
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 3: don't know that I would trust it to be genuine

543
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,880
Speaker 3: and not just her doing whatever it takes to make

544
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,920
Speaker 3: me stick around while she needs emotional support. Then it's

545
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 3: just more walking on eggshells. I had to type that

546
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 3: out to realize, you're absolutely right, this could be a

547
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 3: fruitless conversation that just cost me a lot of emotional labor.

548
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 3: I'm sorry you've experienced, I think to the commoner, similar

549
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 3: and op response to another comment, saying, yeah, I don't

550
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 3: know that a good response from her would even really

551
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 3: bring peace. The more I think about it, the more

552
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 3: I've realized it's more about me being able to get

553
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 3: it off my chest and not hiding. I think I'll

554
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 3: at least have that regardless of her response. And there

555
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 3: is an update. But uh, what are your thoughts? And Dakota,

556
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 3: what are your thoughts? Put it on you guys.

557
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's man, that's tough. But also, yeah, it sounds

558
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 4: like you're ready to move on past this relationship with

559
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 4: your mom. Yeah, and you're free to do that if

560
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 4: you if you want to have this like talk with her,

561
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,639
Speaker 4: I think you're right and like having your set boundaries.

562
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:45,399
Speaker 3: Yeah.

563
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, and yeah, even though like she might be apologizing

564
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,120
Speaker 4: for stuff that she did when she was blacked out,

565
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 4: that's no excuse because she still got blacked out. It's tough,

566
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 4: but you don't you don't really oweer much.

567
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 3: No, I do think it would be probably you know,

568
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 3: it might be good to have that conversation just for

569
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,360
Speaker 3: you to get stuff off your chest. But I think

570
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 3: going into it with I mean, it's hard not to

571
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:11,119
Speaker 3: have hope, but trying to go into it with just

572
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 3: you don't know her anything. You can have this conversation

573
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 3: and still not need to have a relationship with her. Yeah,

574
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 3: it can just be like.

575
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 4: If you need to get some stuff off your chest,

576
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 4: get some closure off stuff. Yeah. Yeah, but don't let

577
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 4: her like hamstring into anything new that you're not wanting

578
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 4: to do exactly.

579
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 3: But update three days later, I guess I wanted to

580
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 3: give some of you told you so right. I was

581
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 3: able to use bits and pieces from almost every comment,

582
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 3: from preparing myself for it to not go well slash

583
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,199
Speaker 3: needing to hang out on her, to making sure I

584
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,880
Speaker 3: didn't fall into the trap of explaining and listing out

585
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,439
Speaker 3: past instance. I basically said the following, I'm happy for

586
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 3: the list of accomplishments she had. Unfortunately, none of that

587
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 3: erases twenty plus years of lack of support and actions

588
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 3: by you that clearly indicated I wasn't a priority. Not

589
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 3: looking for explanations nor apologies, I've worked hard to make

590
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 3: my peace with it, and I've worked hard to get

591
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 3: our relationship to a point where I can maintain my

592
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 3: mental health and have you in my life. So when

593
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 3: you say it could be better, in my mind, it's

594
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 3: right where it needs to be if that's to change

595
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 3: at all, I have some boundaries that need to be followed.

596
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 3: List of boundaries, some specific, but two big ones of

597
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,719
Speaker 3: respect my boundaries and respect when I say no. If

598
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 3: you want us to talk more, I'm happy to pick

599
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 3: up the phone. You have every right to ask things

600
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 3: from me, but have to respect when the answer isn't

601
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 3: what you want to hear. That's all the things that

602
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 3: OPI I think has brought forth to their mom. First

603
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 3: question was if I thought our relationship was better before

604
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 3: my stepdad came around. No, so sop. Next OPI's mom

605
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 3: asked for examples of when she didn't support me. I

606
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 3: told her she'd have to do some reflecting because she

607
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 3: was there for the same events I was, and it's

608
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 3: not fair to me to ask for that emotional labor.

609
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:57,479
Speaker 3: She said she had done lots of reflection and couldn't

610
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 3: see it until stepdad came into the picture. She pushed

611
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 3: a couple more times for examples, Is it because I

612
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 3: missed some events your dad was at She stopped when

613
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 3: I called her out the second time for deflecting responsibility

614
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 3: for her actions. I told her multiple times during this

615
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,200
Speaker 3: portion that she doesn't have to remember or own up

616
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 3: to anything, but she does have to live with the consequences.

617
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 3: Her last question was is there any way we could

618
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 3: ever push past this all? I told her, this is

619
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 3: what past, this all looks like. She pushed back a

620
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 3: little bit, but when it was clear that I wasn't

621
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 3: moving an inch, the call ended with, well, thank you,

622
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 3: You've given me a lot to think about. She still

623
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 3: wants She's just like, can we just forget about this?

624
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 6: She needs to do some more work.

625
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, she us times more.

626
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, and especially the can we just push past Yeah?

627
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 4: There's no easy way outs in life, guys. You gotta

628
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:46,959
Speaker 4: go through it.

629
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, gotta go through it. Can't go around it.

630
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 6: Do the work. It's worth it.

631
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 3: None of her questions or responses were any indication she

632
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 3: was worried that I was hurt. She was trying to

633
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 3: find justifications I might listen to anything to poke holes.

634
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 3: There was part of me that wondered if she always

635
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 3: recognized how much neglect there was and just didn't want

636
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 3: to face it, but claiming lots of reflection and not

637
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 3: having a single incident come to mind that didn't involve

638
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 3: blaming someone else. Answered that question. Any final thoughts, I.

639
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 6: Think she I think Op's in the right here.

640
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think Op has answered kind of and approached

641
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 3: this so maturely, incredibly, And it's clear that you've done

642
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 3: a lot of work on yourself to put up those boundaries,

643
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:28,560
Speaker 3: and I think that's all you can do.

644
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 6: Mm hmmm.

645
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, And yeah, your mother needs to do some more work.

646
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 4: And yes, once she's able to like see what she

647
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 4: did and like truly understand that, and maybe I'll know

648
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 4: if they're clean or not. Yeah, maybe getting clean as

649
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 4: part of it then maybe, But that's completely up to you, Yeah,

650
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 4: if you want to open up that channel at all.

651
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 3: But absolutely, it's like, even if she does do all

652
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 3: of that work and comes out of it a better person,

653
00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 3: maybe that relationship is always going to be a little bit,

654
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 3: you know, fractured from what she did before. But we've

655
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 3: got a little bit left to this story. While she

656
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 3: was calm, while she tried to respond, her tone was

657
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,360
Speaker 3: very tense. Worst case here, she continues to try to

658
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 3: push boundaries and I cut off contact, and it's one

659
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 3: less stress in life. Best case, she respects them, and

660
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 3: it's one less stress in my life. I know this

661
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 3: is likely a case of she'll respect them until she doesn't.

662
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 3: The important thing for me was that I was upfront

663
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 3: with her and set clear boundaries. I've done my due

664
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 3: diligence to telling her how our relationship could change. I

665
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 3: used change instead of improve very intentionally with my mother.

666
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 3: I'm relief falls in her court and I have some answers.

667
00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 3: Thanks again for the advice, sharing your own experiences and encouragement.

668
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 3: It gave me the confidence and a plan for that

669
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 3: phone call.

670
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're going to

671
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 2: go to the next one.

672
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories. But

673
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 1: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

674
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 3: My dad cheated on my mom, and now what's my

675
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,760
Speaker 3: wedding jewelry for my stepsister?

676
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 2: You just steal that back.

677
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 3: My mom fifty five and dad fifty seven got divorced

678
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 3: when me thirty mail and my twin brother thirty were

679
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 3: thirteen due to our dad having an affair with our

680
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 3: stepmom forty seven, he got her pregnant with our half sister,

681
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 3: and after the divorce, my dad married his wife, who

682
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 3: was horrible to our mom and got even worse when

683
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 3: she realized we were never going to see her as

684
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 3: a mom in our lives. By the way, this comes

685
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 3: from odd Advantage twenty seven. And if you want to

686
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 3: smit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

687
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 3: storytime subbured it. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly. We're here to

688
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 3: give good advice. Goof leep, but we don't have all

689
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 3: the answers.

690
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 2: We only know what.

691
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 3: We'd do, so let us know what you would do

692
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 3: in the comments. Uh and Opie says. They had three

693
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 3: more children together, and my stepmom already had three daughters

694
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 3: from her previous marriage. Their father had passed away two

695
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 3: years before the affair, so they were excited to have

696
00:32:56,320 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 3: a new dad. During the divorce, my paternal grandparents were

697
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 3: not happy about the affair and did everything to make

698
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 3: sure my father and his new family knew they were

699
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 3: not welcome. They weren't openly hostile, but it was obvious

700
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 3: when we would get things they wouldn't, or get invited

701
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 3: to things they weren't. So on to the reason for

702
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 3: the post. My grandparents. Dad's parents are wealthy, think old money.

703
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 3: In their family, there's a tradition that when you get married,

704
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,480
Speaker 3: you and your spouse are gifted a set of jewelry

705
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 3: to pass down to your children. When I married my husband,

706
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,239
Speaker 3: we were both gifted two sets of diamond cufflinks and

707
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 3: a pair of diamond studs, all together worth about two

708
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 3: hundred thousand dollars. They also paid to have our house

709
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 3: built when they found out we were expecting our own

710
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 3: set of twins via surrogate. I know spoiled. Now my

711
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 3: twin is getting married to his longtime girlfriend. My grandparents

712
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 3: are paying for their wedding. They offered to pay for

713
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 3: mine too, but my husband's parents paid for it, so

714
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 3: that's why they built the house instead. My oldest stepsister,

715
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 3: twenty eight is also engaged and her wedding is scheduled

716
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 3: after my twins. She and her fiance aren't well off,

717
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 3: but my dad is paying for part of it. He

718
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 3: can't pay for everything because he's still got to take

719
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 3: care of our younger siblings and my stepmom is a

720
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 3: stay at home mom. Here's where I might be the

721
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:20,440
Speaker 3: a hole. We were having dinner with my dad's family,

722
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 3: and you could tell my stepsister and stepmom were upset

723
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,720
Speaker 3: about something. My youngest brother asked her what was wrong,

724
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 3: and that's when she got upsets. Apparently she had asked

725
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 3: my grandparents about the color of the jewelry she was

726
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 3: getting for her wedding. Now, they don't have a relationship

727
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,839
Speaker 3: with her, or are other two stepsisters, and they do

728
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,399
Speaker 3: not think kindly of their mother. They're only around them

729
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 3: when it's a big family event or something for my

730
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 3: half siblings. So they told her she wasn't getting anything,

731
00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 3: especially considering how she behaved when the affair came out.

732
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 3: She made it seem like me and my brother should

733
00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 3: have chosen her mother over ours, which was not happening.

734
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 3: She also asked about money for a house, because again

735
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 3: my father can't afford it. They said no to that too,

736
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:10,320
Speaker 3: so her feelings were hurt. Plus they're not even going

737
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,800
Speaker 3: to her wedding. I couldn't hold it in, so I laughed,

738
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,840
Speaker 3: and so did my brother later after dinner, and my

739
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 3: dad texted us saying we were a holes, which I

740
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 3: can see. So am I the a hole? And there

741
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,439
Speaker 3: are some comments? But what do you think?

742
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,799
Speaker 2: So wait? He laughed at the grandparents saying she wasn't getting.

743
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, basically laughed at stepsister being upset that she wasn't

744
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 3: getting any jewelry.

745
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 2: So so I don't think that a laugh was necessary.

746
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's like a little bit you are

747
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 3: they I get it.

748
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 2: That's why I was like, can you say that again?

749
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 3: I've yeah, I heard them wrong. Yeah, it's like I

750
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 3: get it. I get it, but probably not the best

751
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 3: you know. It's like it's like just rising above in

752
00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 3: the moment, like it doesn't make you look good, right, Yeah,

753
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 3: you might be justified, and maybe she's a little bit

754
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 3: of a you know, spoiled brat or you know, I mean,

755
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 3: not the best person.

756
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 2: You sound like you could be the little spooderous.

757
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 3: Self aware of exactly. But it's like if we're gonna

758
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 3: be you know, polite people at a dinner party with

759
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 3: you know, family and friends, and maybe maybe we don't laugh.

760
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: You've got a lot of stuff, girl, A lot of stuff,

761
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 3: okay girl as in gender neutral leads girl. A lot

762
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 3: of stuff?

763
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 6: Girl.

764
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 3: You got a house, you got jewels, paid for a wedding. No,

765
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 3: they got the house because they the grandparents, but they're's parents.

766
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 3: Are paying for the wedding. Oh he's husband, yes, yes, yeah,

767
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 3: her husband's parents. Yeah, so they're not paying for the wedding,

768
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 3: or they're house and they just got a bunch of

769
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:55,720
Speaker 3: expensive jewelry. So so like we can hold the chuckles

770
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 3: in yeah, yeah, and then you can go home with

771
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:01,440
Speaker 3: your husband or your fiance and be like, they're so silly.

772
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 3: She thought she was getting used, But it also seems

773
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 3: like you understand that you're a bit of it a

774
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 3: whole yeah. Comments comment one. She's your stepsister and not

775
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 3: even related to them. They've made clear their disassociation with

776
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 3: your step siblings. How do they get the impression that

777
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 3: this is suddenly going to change. It was a little

778
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 3: unkind to openly laugh, But if this was sprung in

779
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 3: front of you with no warning, I can understand it

780
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,919
Speaker 3: and to a degree excuse it, Ope replied. I think

781
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 3: she feels like because they did give her other things,

782
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:33,839
Speaker 3: like paying for her college education and gifting her a

783
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:37,760
Speaker 3: graduation trip after high school, she was entitled to other things.

784
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 3: But the thing is they never gave her these things

785
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 3: in person. They always sent it through my dad. My

786
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 3: grandparents have certain boundaries, but they're not cruel They just

787
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,799
Speaker 3: like to keep familial traditions to what they call their

788
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 3: core family, and they've always been upfront about that, even

789
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 3: when my dad tried to make them be involved with

790
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 3: them more than they wanted to be. Common two says,

791
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,479
Speaker 3: not the a whole. Who do these women think they are?

792
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 3: I mean, even if they were better people, she still

793
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 3: shouldn't have expected anything. Not being true family members, no

794
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 3: offense to your family, but that's how old money works.

795
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 3: You keep it with your natural family members. So nope,

796
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 3: that was funny, I laughed to oh p he says, honestly, Yeah,

797
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 3: some of my friends don't understand when I tried to

798
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:23,120
Speaker 3: explain it to them, which I completely understand. My husband

799
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 3: understands because his family comes from old Italian money. My

800
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:28,759
Speaker 3: dad actually tried to explain it to her when I

801
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 3: got married, because that's when my grandparents decided to build

802
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,320
Speaker 3: my house since we announced we were expecting the twins.

803
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 3: Plus I had already had two children already that my

804
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 3: husband adopted because their mom had passed away giving birth.

805
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 3: She couldn't understand why they didn't just buy me a

806
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 3: house and kept complaining about how much of a waste

807
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 3: it was for them to spend that much money, so

808
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 3: that also turned them off to her. More Comment three,

809
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 3: how does your grandparents treat your husband's adopted children? Ohpie says,

810
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 3: Those are my children from before I met my husband.

811
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 3: He adopted them when we got married. Common force is

812
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 3: just because I'm intrigued. So you had a female partner

813
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:07,680
Speaker 3: and had twins or did she pass when she gave

814
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,359
Speaker 3: birth to your second baby. I'm sorry for your loss also,

815
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 3: and I don't mean to come off rude if I do.

816
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 3: I'm just I have a lot of questions out of curiosity.

817
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 3: What I'm really curious about is if it's your baby

818
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 3: juice for the surrogate. I only ask because, my gosh,

819
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 3: what are the odds of two sets of twins? Congratulations

820
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,760
Speaker 3: to you and your husband. I have twins in my family,

821
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 3: ohp says. She passed away after our second son was

822
00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 3: born from complications from the pregnancy and prior health issues.

823
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,240
Speaker 3: You don't have to apologize. She was a great person

824
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 3: and mother. She actually recorded videos for our sons each

825
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 3: year until they're both twenty one, and her family is

826
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 3: still involved with them. Plus, they love my husband as

827
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 3: a father for them and a spouse for me. Her

828
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 3: mom actually introduced him to me. My former in laws

829
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 3: are the best people. Common five says, sounds like stepmom

830
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 3: and her daughters are gold diggers, and when they saw

831
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 3: the old money of your grandparents, they thought their ship

832
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:04,400
Speaker 3: would come in. Personally, I would tell grandparents this so

833
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 3: they can take precautions in their will to ensure that

834
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,839
Speaker 3: those women never get their hands on a single red sense. Oh,

835
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,479
Speaker 3: he says, Oh, they already have, they were and never

836
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 3: will be in the will. My dad is four younger brothers,

837
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:19,600
Speaker 3: plus my grandparents have a stipulation in their will that

838
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 3: dictates only children and grandchildren that are blood related can

839
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,360
Speaker 3: receive anything from their estate. The only person who's getting

840
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 3: anything that's not related to them is my mom, but

841
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 3: that's because she's been helping take care of them since

842
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 3: my grandfather had a stroke five years ago. And there

843
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 3: is an update tangs people are rich rich man like

844
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:43,440
Speaker 3: no and is putting a single fingerprint on a money.

845
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,839
Speaker 2: Give us a drop of your DNA and we'll let

846
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 2: you know if you get to the house.

847
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:52,240
Speaker 3: My thought of gold are them massive that I swim

848
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 3: in them daily like Scrooge mcdac.

849
00:40:56,360 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 2: My swimming pool. Yeah, so that means that of everybody

850
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 2: like Dad will get money, OP will get money, Op's husband,

851
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 2: we'll get money, all of their kids will, and the

852
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 2: one singular half sister will and aren't they havings?

853
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:21,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, so all the surrogat kids only get stuff if

854
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 3: if it's Ops.

855
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 2: That's why they asked about that. Okay, I feel if

856
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 2: that has to be a stipulation like that calends like

857
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:34,479
Speaker 2: maybe they don't even know who the donor is. Maybe

858
00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 2: they mixed it together.

859
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:38,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like it's it's like a Neil Patrick Harras

860
00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 3: thing and they're like only one of your kids and

861
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 3: you have to do a test on them.

862
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 2: Crazy because then it's also like out of uh Dad's

863
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 2: new wives family, one kid is getting stuff.

864
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 3: Yeah that's a wow update. So a lot has happened

865
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 3: since my last post. I'm thankful for my judgment. I'm

866
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 3: not the a hole. Yesterday, my dad came over with

867
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:04,239
Speaker 3: my twin and my stepsister's fiance to talk to us.

868
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 3: He decided to ask me if I could gift my

869
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 3: set of jewelry I got for my wedding to my

870
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:11,799
Speaker 3: soon to be step brother in law. I looked at

871
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 3: him and asked if he was crazy, especially when he

872
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,759
Speaker 3: knew I was already giving six thousand dollars to them

873
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 3: for their honeymoon. How much money do you people have,

874
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 3: my brother asked him if he seriously just asked such

875
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 3: a stupid question. Now again, I'll remind everyone that the

876
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 3: six thousand dollars is my half of the present me

877
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 3: and my brother are giving together, so they're already getting

878
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 3: twelve k from us. My brother reminded my dad about

879
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 3: his set of cufflings he got for his wedding from

880
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 3: his wedding to her mom and said he could give

881
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:48,399
Speaker 3: those to him if it's that importance. My dad said

882
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 3: he's already paying for their wedding, so he shouldn't have

883
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:52,439
Speaker 3: to give them anything else, and that this would show

884
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 3: how much I care on top of the honeymoon gift.

885
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 2: Op he doesn't care.

886
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I said that's not happening, as I plan to

887
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 3: let all my sons wear them when they go to

888
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 3: their respective proms and give them to my oldest son

889
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 3: when he gets married. I told him he was out

890
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 3: of line trying to take from his grandchildren as he

891
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 3: knew my plans for them. One thing about my dad

892
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,919
Speaker 3: is that he loves his grandchildren, especially my oldest son,

893
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,360
Speaker 3: who's in his sophomore year of high school. He instantly

894
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 3: started to apologize, and the whole time, my soon to

895
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 3: be step brother in law was sitting there looking embarrassed

896
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 3: because he clearly had no idea what my dad wanted

897
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 3: him there for until he started talking. I didn't know

898
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 3: that he's in the room to be like, I don't

899
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 3: want them, I don't want you, I don't want them.

900
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:47,719
Speaker 3: It's taking kid, It's fine. Any final thoughts, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

901
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 3: so rich, y'all are really rich. I don't think there's

902
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 3: really no issue here though. Yeah.

903
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 2: If the issue is just that you laughed the first time, yeah,

904
00:43:56,520 --> 00:44:00,360
Speaker 2: like I'm sure she's might be rude, but you know, yeah,

905
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even say like maybe like you're the a

906
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:03,879
Speaker 2: whole idea that was.

907
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 3: Kind of rude. It's just rude.

908
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:07,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I fully could have just in the moment

909
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 2: been like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. You know,

910
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that we'd be past it.

911
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then right now it's just you told your

912
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:16,720
Speaker 3: dad that you're not doing it. You explain why he's apologized,

913
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:18,719
Speaker 3: and step brother in law didn't even want them to

914
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:22,719
Speaker 3: begin with. So we're chill y'all are incredibly rich and

915
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 3: we can move on with our lives.

916
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:25,440
Speaker 2: Give them another thousand.

917
00:44:25,680 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, just grow it on top you have. You clearly

918
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 3: have the money. So now I'm starting to feel that

919
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 3: this situation is going to get worse before it gets better,

920
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 3: especially with my twins wedding being before my stepsisters. I

921
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:39,840
Speaker 3: just told my dad I'll talk to him on Sunday

922
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 3: when they came when they come over for family dinners

923
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 3: since it's my time to host. Now he's asking me

924
00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 3: not to bring it up in front of my mom, grandpa,

925
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 3: and grandma since they'll both be there. I told him

926
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 3: I wasn't planning on it because it's none of their business.

927
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 3: And after that, I just want this conversation to end,

928
00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:00,880
Speaker 3: and that is the end of this story.

929
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 2: My father's mistress wanted to come to my wedding, but

930
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 2: I refuse.

931
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 3: He can't fitch you.

932
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 2: I'm a twenty five year old woman engaged and getting married.

933
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:14,840
Speaker 2: Everything has been going to plan, but my biggest stressor

934
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 2: is my guest list. I don't know if I should

935
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 2: let my dad walk me down the aisle or even

936
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 2: invite him and let him bring a plus one. By

937
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,400
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Royal c. Sixty two and

938
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 2: if you want us to make your own stories, go

939
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime separ addit. I'm Carly,

940
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

941
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:35,840
Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

942
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 2: what we would do, So let us know what you

943
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 2: would do in the comment, and Opie says, my mom

944
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:44,280
Speaker 2: suddenly passed away when I was nine years old. Tough

945
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 2: with just me and my dad, but we made it work.

946
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:50,800
Speaker 2: I was and still am, very close to my mom's sister,

947
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 2: who basically helped raise me through no fault of my dad's.

948
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:57,919
Speaker 2: He worked full time, so she was the one who

949
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 2: picked me up from school and took me shopping. My

950
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 2: dad came to what he could, and that was fine.

951
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 2: Throughout my childhood, I was more than open and encouraging

952
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 2: about him dating. I tried to set him up with

953
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 2: my friend's moms who were single or cute friends of

954
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 2: his that he golf, and nothing came of it. In

955
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 2: twenty fifteen, while I was on vacation with my aunt,

956
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 2: I heard he met up with a woman who was

957
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 2: in town. She was his college girlfriend, but they apparently

958
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 2: didn't end up together because her father didn't like him.

959
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,479
Speaker 2: They met up, she gave her condolences for my mom

960
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 2: passing away, which seemed odd since that was six years earlier.

961
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 2: I eventually started hearing him on the phone at night

962
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 2: talking to her, and would see letters come in the

963
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 2: mail with his name on them, no return address, just

964
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:50,880
Speaker 2: bright colored cards, sometimes with hearts on the back of

965
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 2: the envelope. Eventually, he would be away for the weekend,

966
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 2: staying at a nearby hotel, so I asked him about

967
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:00,880
Speaker 2: who she was and whatnot. All was fine until I

968
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 2: found out she was still married. Her excuse was that

969
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 2: they were separated but living in the same house. Now

970
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:12,279
Speaker 2: I'm no saint, but that sounds like an affair to me.

971
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,720
Speaker 2: This spiraled into learning that she had a burner phone

972
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:19,280
Speaker 2: to communicate with my father, and when she came to town,

973
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:22,880
Speaker 2: she would say she was staying with her sister. No

974
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 2: one but her sister knew what she was doing. Her

975
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 2: marriage wasn't my business. But I told my father, what

976
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 2: the heck are you thinking seeing someone who was married.

977
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 2: He excused it by saying they were separated and just

978
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:40,359
Speaker 2: legal and just didn't legally get divorced yet, Sure that

979
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 2: can happen, but does the husband knows she's dating? No.

980
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 2: I found him on Facebook and saw he was posting

981
00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:53,520
Speaker 2: like normal, updating his profile picture with his beautiful, amazing wife.

982
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:57,880
Speaker 2: So to me, that sounds like an affair. From then on,

983
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 2: I said I would not meet this woman, and I

984
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 2: wanted nothing to do with the relationship because it was messy.

985
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 2: It's not like her children or husband knew about my dad,

986
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:10,880
Speaker 2: so why should I put an effort for someone having

987
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 2: an affair. When I went off to college, I still

988
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 2: had no interest in meeting this married woman my father

989
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 2: was seeing. Incident one, I headed home for a long

990
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:24,840
Speaker 2: weekend and received a text from my father saying his

991
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 2: lady friend was on the way to the house with

992
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:31,320
Speaker 2: her own key and to let her in. This woman

993
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 2: that I told you I will not meet is going

994
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:37,320
Speaker 2: to be the first person I see coming home from college,

995
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 2: and you aren't even going to be home. This spiraled

996
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 2: into my dad demanding I just say hi. I heard

997
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 2: the door unlocked, and I stayed in my room until

998
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 2: he got home. Once he did, I was pissed and

999
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 2: we got into an argument about me not meeting this woman.

1000
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 2: I lived in a ranch style home with my bedroom

1001
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,239
Speaker 2: at one end and the kitchen at the other, with

1002
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 2: a long hallway. This woman sat on the hallway floor

1003
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 2: blocking me from leaving out the back door to meet me.

1004
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,439
Speaker 2: I ran out the front door to my car, where

1005
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 2: my dad and her proceeded to run out the back gate,

1006
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 2: hitting my car with their hands and screaming, oh, come on.

1007
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:22,560
Speaker 2: Two adults in their fifties were blocking my car, screaming

1008
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 2: at me to say hello. Eventually, my dad moved from

1009
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 2: behind my car and I went to my friend's house,

1010
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:31,320
Speaker 2: coming back late that night after they were sleeping. Yeah,

1011
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:37,320
Speaker 2: she slept over incident too. Somehow his lady friend found

1012
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 2: my Instagram and tried to follow me, which I just

1013
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 2: thought was so odd based on our last interaction. But

1014
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 2: that wasn't the worst thing she did. Via phone, I

1015
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 2: received a long winded paragraph from an unknown number basically

1016
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:54,280
Speaker 2: saying things along the lines of your mom has passed away.

1017
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:58,279
Speaker 2: I'm not going anywhere. I'm in your father's life, so

1018
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:00,040
Speaker 2: get used to it.

1019
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 3: So weird, so weird, Like, how does she I just

1020
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 3: don't understand why she thinks this is gonna help.

1021
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:11,880
Speaker 2: I'll spare the details, but the gist was that she

1022
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 2: didn't understand why I wouldn't want to meet her. I

1023
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 2: told her, and then she told me to simply get

1024
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 2: over it. Incident three, Once again, I was coming home

1025
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 2: from college for the weekend to my own house and

1026
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 2: guess who was there sitting on the couch watching TV. Her.

1027
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,280
Speaker 2: I walked in, went straight to my room and grabbed

1028
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 2: clothes because I was staying at my aunts instead. It

1029
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 2: was supposed to be a quick in and out. She

1030
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:39,239
Speaker 2: stood in front of my doorway and said, so, what's

1031
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,360
Speaker 2: your problem with me? I told her the same exact

1032
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 2: thing I wrote in text messages to her. You're married.

1033
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,720
Speaker 2: You blocked me from leaving my own home. You banged

1034
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 2: your arm against my car window. You found me on

1035
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:54,800
Speaker 2: social media, you found my number and texted me without

1036
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 2: my dad's knowledge. This turned into an hour long argument

1037
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 2: of screaming and crying and yelling. He quotes were once again,

1038
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:07,319
Speaker 2: your mom's passed away. She's passed away, referring to me

1039
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 2: asking her why she took down my mom's photos in

1040
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 2: the house.

1041
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,520
Speaker 3: Unacceptable, unacceptable.

1042
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 2: How is your dad okay with this? Well?

1043
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 3: I feel like he's like, oh, well, it's been so

1044
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 3: long and she probably six years Yeah, well exactly exactly.

1045
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 3: But I feel like she's coming at him with this

1046
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:29,399
Speaker 3: kind of it's been six years. Uh, you should take

1047
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 3: all of this down.

1048
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,240
Speaker 2: You have a twenty five year old kid.

1049
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:34,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, come on.

1050
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 2: I can't compete with someone who's passed away. You're a witch.

1051
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 2: You're a spoiled witch. You're an effing spoiled witch. So

1052
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 2: with all of that, I told her, I'll see you

1053
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:47,480
Speaker 2: in heck. Then she called my dad at work to

1054
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,080
Speaker 2: tell him about the situation, and I went on with

1055
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 2: my day and didn't say anything. He called me, not

1056
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 2: to ask me what happened or my side of the situation,

1057
00:51:56,360 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 2: but to say, how dare I I'm so rude, I'm

1058
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 2: so immature, sir. Your fifty something married girlfriend is yelling

1059
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:06,319
Speaker 2: at a teenager. I thought you were twenty five.

1060
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 3: I thought you were in college. Maybe you're eighteen.

1061
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 2: No, I think, oh, he's twenty five. I'm like almost

1062
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,239
Speaker 2: positive Op is twenty five. Because I was gonna make

1063
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 2: a joke at the beginning.

1064
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 3: I know that I was. I'm pretty sure they're in

1065
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 3: college because they came home from college. I scroll back. Yeah,

1066
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 3: we're double checking, folks. I thought Op he was in college.

1067
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 2: I'm a twenty five year old woman engaged in getting married.

1068
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 3: Maybe.

1069
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:28,879
Speaker 2: Okay, this is a flashback to blashback.

1070
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 3: Flashback. They're in college, they're probably eighteen or nineteen.

1071
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 2: Flashback.

1072
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 3: There we go, We're back on track.

1073
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 2: POWs, things can be true.

1074
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:43,719
Speaker 3: Yes, we were both right my spot again. Guy, Hang on,

1075
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:47,320
Speaker 3: I don't worry. Uh yeah, I mean your step mom's great, gray,

1076
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 3: and all of this stuff is just so inappropriate for

1077
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 3: her to be doing, to be harassing you when she

1078
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 3: supposedly wants a relationship with you. She could just force

1079
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 3: you into relationship.

1080
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:01,879
Speaker 2: This sitting on the floor, Yeah, incident, like weird. All

1081
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 2: of us could have been spared if Dad was just

1082
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 2: like I will civilly introduce you, or like I won't.

1083
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 3: I won't afford her. Yeah, well I won't have, you know,

1084
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 3: help her have an affair. I won't force you to

1085
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 3: have a relationship with a person that you don't like. Yeah,

1086
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 3: let it happen naturally. I don't bang on your car windows.

1087
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1088
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:22,800
Speaker 3: Come on.

1089
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 2: At some point while I was in college, she got

1090
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:30,120
Speaker 2: officially divorced. So in his head, now all was good

1091
00:53:30,239 --> 00:53:32,600
Speaker 2: and his daughter would accept his girlfriend as if he

1092
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 2: doesn't recollect everything that's gone down. We were now running

1093
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:39,279
Speaker 2: in circles of me still not liking her or respecting her,

1094
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 2: and him saying he can't have a relationship with just me,

1095
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:45,720
Speaker 2: but needs us to all get along and be a big,

1096
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 2: happy family. There have been dinners with him where he's

1097
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 2: cursed me out and almost left the restaurant. I've tried

1098
00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 2: to go to dinner at my childhood home and it's awkward,

1099
00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:00,600
Speaker 2: and every time there's something for her to complain about. Well,

1100
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,279
Speaker 2: first it's just say hi to her, Okay I did.

1101
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 2: Now it's what you said hi to her, but you

1102
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:09,879
Speaker 2: didn't ask how she was, Okay I did. Then it's

1103
00:54:10,239 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 2: well you didn't give her enough eye contact. I can't win,

1104
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 2: so to me, I want nothing to do with either

1105
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 2: of them. If he can't have a separate relationship with

1106
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:23,840
Speaker 2: his only child. There's been no talk of what happened,

1107
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:26,760
Speaker 2: because whenever I bring up the past, I get told

1108
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 2: get effing over it. Why can't we move forward? Maybe

1109
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 2: because there's been no apology and that bridge is burned.

1110
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 2: My father and I wish each other happy birthdays and holidays,

1111
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 2: and that's about it. I see him maybe two or

1112
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 2: three times a year, where the conversation always goes to

1113
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 2: why can't I move on and just get over it?

1114
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 2: We haven't spent the holidays together since probably twenty eighteen.

1115
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:53,240
Speaker 3: I just remembered. The initial question was should I ask

1116
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 3: my dad to walk me down the aisle? Wow? You know,

1117
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 3: get someone else?

1118
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1119
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 3: I mean you don't. Yeah, you don't necessarily have to

1120
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:05,719
Speaker 3: have anyone walk you down the aisle, but if you

1121
00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 3: have someone in mind, yeah, if you want someone, it

1122
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:10,200
Speaker 3: doesn't have to be your dad. We've read a lot

1123
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:15,839
Speaker 3: of stories where like not that you relative brother friend yah. Yeah,

1124
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 3: but like that general idea, So don't feel pressure to,

1125
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:26,880
Speaker 3: you know, submit to tradition this person. Yeah, there's a

1126
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 3: lot of different options, and the option of just walking yourself.

1127
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:33,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, walk down with a picture of your mom or something.

1128
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:34,520
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1129
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:37,239
Speaker 2: I have no desire to text him or update him

1130
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 2: on my life because it ends in an FU from him.

1131
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:44,960
Speaker 2: He's asking about wedding details and assumes he's getting invited

1132
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:48,359
Speaker 2: walking me down the aisle and that she's invited as

1133
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:51,239
Speaker 2: his plus one. I don't think he deserves to walk

1134
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 2: me down the aisle. I don't know if I will

1135
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 2: regret not inviting him, but I said I would invite

1136
00:55:57,239 --> 00:55:59,919
Speaker 2: him and I don't want her there. He is telling

1137
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:02,839
Speaker 2: me he can consider himself passed away to me. If

1138
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:07,600
Speaker 2: she isn't invited, that's crazy. If he's choosing her, that's

1139
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 2: at that point he is choosing her over you. Don't

1140
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 2: invite either of you.

1141
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 3: You could say I don't have a relationship with her. Yeah,

1142
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 3: I invited you. If you will not accept that, then yeah,

1143
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 3: we can have either of you at the wedding.

1144
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and have someone out front, because if you invite him,

1145
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:25,879
Speaker 2: she's come. I don't want anyone there who doesn't love

1146
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:29,439
Speaker 2: or respect me, and it's not like either of them do. Also,

1147
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 2: does she even know your fiance?

1148
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 3: I don't know. Yeah, you guys have been like pretty.

1149
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 2: Much not that everyone that comes to your wedding needs

1150
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:39,760
Speaker 2: to know both people.

1151
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 3: Like it seems like y'all are very low context.

1152
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:45,839
Speaker 2: Right, that's crazy. There's a little bit more.

1153
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:49,440
Speaker 3: Oh boy, I just think that. I mean, you literally

1154
00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 3: said they don't love or care about us, And if

1155
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:57,279
Speaker 3: you believe that truly, then don't invite these people. I

1156
00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:58,200
Speaker 3: wouldn't invite him.

1157
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 2: It was second that she's taken down and like disrespecting

1158
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:07,960
Speaker 2: your late mother's just wildly too much inappropriate. He might

1159
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,959
Speaker 2: be my dad, but he picked her and I don't

1160
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:14,719
Speaker 2: want her at my wedding. I understand people in relationships

1161
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:17,920
Speaker 2: want their significant other with them, but not when all

1162
00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:20,480
Speaker 2: this has gone down and you can't put your only

1163
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 2: daughter first for her wedding. It's always she would be

1164
00:57:24,280 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 2: so hurt to not be invited. What about your daughter's

1165
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:30,040
Speaker 2: feelings on her wedding day? You know who else isn't

1166
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 2: going to be there?

1167
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:31,600
Speaker 3: My mom?

1168
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:35,400
Speaker 2: He's gone and won't be there. But no, only his

1169
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 2: girlfriend's feelings seem to matter, and not his daughter's. So

1170
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 2: what do I do?

1171
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:44,560
Speaker 3: That's the end of that story, John here og host.

1172
00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:46,320
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick

1173
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 1: three minute break from ass for our sponsors.

1174
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:52,400
Speaker 3: My brother tried to steal my girlfriend, so I ruined.

1175
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 2: Is like I was just gonna say, steal the girl

1176
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 2: from back, but uh, sure to start from the beginning,

1177
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,680
Speaker 2: I'm the youngest of five, one brother and three sisters.

1178
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 3: My eldest and second sister is married and both are

1179
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,440
Speaker 3: living in Canada. Then there's my brother Tommy, five years

1180
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:12,000
Speaker 3: older than me. Finally, my other sister is two years

1181
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:15,040
Speaker 3: older and works across town. I'm a twenty seven year

1182
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:17,480
Speaker 3: old man living in an apartment with two other guys.

1183
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Conflict Top fifty two

1184
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 3: sixty two. And if you want to smit your own stories,

1185
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:25,720
Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay storytime separated at I'm Sophia,

1186
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 3: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. You felip,

1187
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:30,920
Speaker 3: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

1188
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 3: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

1189
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:35,600
Speaker 3: do in the comments, and Op says Tommy is the

1190
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 3: family favorite child to this day. I'm not entirely sure

1191
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 3: why Rave reviews for Tommy. Maybe it's because he's the

1192
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 3: firstborn son and more like my dad. You see, my

1193
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 3: dad always wanted a son and is kind of sicked.

1194
00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:53,959
Speaker 3: Tommy was more of a bully to me than a brother.

1195
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 3: He would constantly undermine me whenever he saw an opportunity

1196
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 3: to prank me or just straight up me. When I

1197
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 3: was fifteen, he threw a bucket of water on my bed,

1198
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,960
Speaker 3: took a picture and sent it out on Facebook to

1199
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,480
Speaker 3: all my friends and classmates, saying I wet the bed.

1200
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 3: He pushed me down the stairs once he told me

1201
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 3: I couldn't go to his wedding unless I took the

1202
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:17,720
Speaker 3: role of a flower girl, and this wasn't a joke.

1203
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 3: He kept this up for months, even sending out wedding

1204
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 3: invites to everyone but me, until his fiance at the

1205
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:26,920
Speaker 3: time emphasis on at the time found out got mad

1206
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:30,960
Speaker 3: made him invite me. I'll circle back to her. But

1207
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:34,240
Speaker 3: the thing he did most was steal from me everything

1208
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:36,720
Speaker 3: I had. He would try to take, either for himself

1209
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 3: or just so I wouldn't have it. He convinced my

1210
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:41,920
Speaker 3: first girlfriend I was cheating on her by showing her

1211
00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:44,760
Speaker 3: a picture of me hugging another woman my age who

1212
00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:48,240
Speaker 3: was actually my cousin. Stole my PlayStation and my games,

1213
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,200
Speaker 3: my bike, and so on. He's like this because everyone

1214
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:55,120
Speaker 3: just enables him, except my sisters. My father is always

1215
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 3: saying how proud he is of him, how athletic he was,

1216
00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 3: top of his class, etc. Me not so much. I

1217
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:05,640
Speaker 3: was never that athletic in the sense of how my

1218
01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:08,080
Speaker 3: father sees it. I was good at tennis, but my

1219
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:10,880
Speaker 3: father said that was a woman sport. I wasn't that

1220
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:13,960
Speaker 3: grade at school, getting mostly c's or b's on good days.

1221
01:00:14,120 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 3: I don't share political views with my father or his

1222
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:20,480
Speaker 3: religious views. For all this, he waves me off a

1223
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 3: lot of the time. My mother left when I was

1224
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:25,600
Speaker 3: three with some other guy. I have no memories of her.

1225
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 3: I should mention I'm only a half sibling to my

1226
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 3: brother and older sisters, as they had a different mother

1227
01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 3: who passed away in a car crash years before I

1228
01:00:34,240 --> 01:00:37,600
Speaker 3: was born. My oldest sister once told me she believed

1229
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:40,160
Speaker 3: my mother left because my father always made it clear

1230
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 3: she was the second wife, that she wasn't as great

1231
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:46,280
Speaker 3: as his first wife, that he only married her because

1232
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:48,840
Speaker 3: he knocked her up with my sister. She had enough

1233
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 3: and ran off with another guy who treated her better.

1234
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:55,480
Speaker 3: But that's still not an excuse for ditching your kids.

1235
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 3: So it's just been my dad and the occasional new

1236
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:00,920
Speaker 3: girlfriend who would break up them when they saw what

1237
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,880
Speaker 3: an a hole he was. Now to skip forward to

1238
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 3: about two years ago, I met this woman who I

1239
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 3: quickly fell in love with and we began to date.

1240
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:12,600
Speaker 3: We got close and started discussing looking for a new

1241
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:16,840
Speaker 3: place to live together. Her name is Kelly. About five

1242
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 3: months ago, Kelly texted me saying we needed to talk.

1243
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 3: This was shortly after she met my family when my

1244
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:25,560
Speaker 3: two older sisters came to visit and we had a

1245
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:28,520
Speaker 3: family barbecue. When she met up with me, she told

1246
01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:31,479
Speaker 3: me this wouldn't be easy to hear, but my brother

1247
01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 3: tried to hook up with her and like, yeah, yeah,

1248
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:39,120
Speaker 3: he does that. And she's like, sorry, no, I don't

1249
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:40,439
Speaker 3: think you heard your brother try.

1250
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:43,400
Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, he's done it before, I'll do it again.

1251
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:46,720
Speaker 2: Probably should have warned you that my sorry about that.

1252
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:49,120
Speaker 3: She's been talking with him for a few weeks after

1253
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:51,560
Speaker 3: they connected up the family get together, though she saw

1254
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 3: this as just being friendly, as she'd also been talking

1255
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 3: to my sister who lives across town. They'd been talking

1256
01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:01,040
Speaker 3: here and there, and he began to flirt, which Kelly

1257
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,720
Speaker 3: didn't really notice at first. Then she thought he was

1258
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:07,720
Speaker 3: just being playful, then began to feel awkward. He eventually

1259
01:02:07,760 --> 01:02:09,680
Speaker 3: told her that he was a better fit for her

1260
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:13,840
Speaker 3: than me, that he believed I was a closeted queer man.

1261
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 3: She was stunned and made an excuse to leave. She

1262
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 3: told me everything. I was upset, of course, but she

1263
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:26,000
Speaker 3: was shocked at how little surprised I was and how,

1264
01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:30,200
Speaker 3: in her words, underreacted. She's a therapist. You see, though

1265
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:32,480
Speaker 3: she's more of a beginner and doesn't have many clients

1266
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,840
Speaker 3: as she only got her degree a year ago, so

1267
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:38,000
Speaker 3: she has a better understanding of mental health. When I

1268
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:40,280
Speaker 3: told her my relationship with my brother and dad in

1269
01:02:40,360 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 3: greater detail, she told me I was conditioned to accept

1270
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:47,720
Speaker 3: this behavior and I needed to stand up for myself,

1271
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:50,200
Speaker 3: not in the beg a man for Christ's sake sense,

1272
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 3: just in a more respect myself kind of way. Thinking

1273
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 3: back on my life, I really thought about the crap

1274
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:57,919
Speaker 3: I'd gone through and decided to get revenge. I don't

1275
01:02:57,960 --> 01:03:00,240
Speaker 3: know if that's what she meant, to be honest with you,

1276
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:01,760
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's what she meant there.

1277
01:03:02,040 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 6: I don't.

1278
01:03:02,560 --> 01:03:05,080
Speaker 2: I really be surprised because she was even a first

1279
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:06,400
Speaker 2: year therapist said that. Yeah.

1280
01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:08,280
Speaker 3: She was like, you need to stand up for yourself,

1281
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:10,800
Speaker 3: and he was like, I need to ruin his life,

1282
01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:16,240
Speaker 3: and she was like, no, that's no. I convinced her

1283
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 3: to play along and to flirt back. She was very

1284
01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:21,840
Speaker 3: much against it, saying my plan wasn't a healthy one,

1285
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 3: but I decided I needed this and this was how

1286
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:26,919
Speaker 3: I would do it. She agreed and began flirting back

1287
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:28,400
Speaker 3: despite feeling awkward about it.

1288
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:31,080
Speaker 2: You just made your fiance do something she really didn't

1289
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:33,160
Speaker 2: want to do and was highly uncomfortable.

1290
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:36,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, not cool, dude. Why are you roping your fiance

1291
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:39,280
Speaker 3: into this scheme that she doesn't want to do. Yeah,

1292
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:40,360
Speaker 3: you're an ahle for that.

1293
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:43,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, your brother sucks more, but yeah.

1294
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:45,240
Speaker 3: But you're an able for getting your girlfriend to do

1295
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:47,320
Speaker 3: something she did not want to do. Yeah, just because

1296
01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:49,760
Speaker 3: you need revenge, we decided we would do this to

1297
01:03:49,880 --> 01:03:52,480
Speaker 3: expose him. They kept this up for weeks, as he

1298
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:55,880
Speaker 3: got less cautious and more spicy in his comments. When

1299
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:57,840
Speaker 3: asked about his wife, he told her they had an

1300
01:03:57,840 --> 01:04:00,920
Speaker 3: open relationship and he'd been with other girls. I doubt

1301
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:03,520
Speaker 3: that they agreed to meet up at a motel for

1302
01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:07,080
Speaker 3: a night of spicy sleep. I showed the messages to

1303
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:09,720
Speaker 3: his wife, who I always got along with. She was

1304
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:11,520
Speaker 3: someone who always stood up to him when he was

1305
01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:14,360
Speaker 3: being a knucklehead to me. As it turns out, he's

1306
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:16,880
Speaker 3: been deleting the messages on his phone so she wouldn't

1307
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:20,000
Speaker 3: see them. But deleting them doesn't mean they're deleted on

1308
01:04:20,080 --> 01:04:23,440
Speaker 3: Kelly's device. She told me he was leaving on a

1309
01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:25,920
Speaker 3: three day work trip, which was kind of true, except

1310
01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:28,640
Speaker 3: it was a two day trip. This is the juicy

1311
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:31,840
Speaker 3: part I'll circle back to. After she got over the

1312
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:35,439
Speaker 3: shock of the revelation, crying and breathing heavily to calm

1313
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:38,800
Speaker 3: herself down, we agreed to catch him in the act.

1314
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 3: Kelly met with him for drinks and dinner before going

1315
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:44,160
Speaker 3: back to the motel, where we set up three secret

1316
01:04:44,200 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 3: recording devices. This is this is why do we need

1317
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:51,120
Speaker 3: all this? Genuinely, why do we need all this? Because

1318
01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:53,880
Speaker 3: she already knows, right, you already have proof.

1319
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:56,400
Speaker 2: You have the proof. We don't need to put your

1320
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:59,920
Speaker 2: fiance in a I don't think room on a company

1321
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:00,880
Speaker 2: with him now.

1322
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:04,160
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I thought they were just gonna like have

1323
01:05:04,240 --> 01:05:06,320
Speaker 3: him show up and no one's gonna do there. Kelly's

1324
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:09,160
Speaker 3: going to drinks, dinner and then an to an hotel.

1325
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 2: Hotel, you're a nail, your nail.

1326
01:05:11,960 --> 01:05:15,720
Speaker 3: What are Kelly say in a position where where she

1327
01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:17,880
Speaker 3: could be, you know, harmed.

1328
01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:20,440
Speaker 2: Wait when he finds out that this is what she's doing,

1329
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:25,160
Speaker 2: when she stops, yeah, presumably stopped before this goes too far,

1330
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:27,680
Speaker 2: he could really lash out at her.

1331
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:29,680
Speaker 3: They came back to the room and he began to

1332
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:31,720
Speaker 3: touch her do what. She asked if she was sure

1333
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:34,520
Speaker 3: his wife was okay with this. He said yes, they

1334
01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 3: had an open relationship, she had another boyfriend, and all

1335
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:40,640
Speaker 3: they began to talk dirty, with him taking the lead.

1336
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:43,880
Speaker 3: Kelly went to the bathroom to freshen up, and he

1337
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:46,800
Speaker 3: began to strip and got into bed. She came out

1338
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:48,640
Speaker 3: and went to the front door where his wife and

1339
01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:52,040
Speaker 3: I were standing, and we walked in. He immediately jumped

1340
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:54,600
Speaker 3: out of bed in a panic, asking why she was

1341
01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:57,760
Speaker 3: there and being lost for words, something I never thought

1342
01:05:57,800 --> 01:06:01,000
Speaker 3: i'd see in my life. We got into a huge argument,

1343
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:03,120
Speaker 3: with him accusing me of setting him up, which I

1344
01:06:03,200 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 3: did to be fair. He and my sister in law

1345
01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:07,920
Speaker 3: got into a huge screaming match, with him trying to

1346
01:06:07,960 --> 01:06:09,960
Speaker 3: deflect and play this off, which is hard to do

1347
01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:14,880
Speaker 3: while you're currently getting dressed. We left. Now Here's what

1348
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:18,280
Speaker 3: happened after his wife filed for divorce and after going

1349
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:20,520
Speaker 3: through the system of getting lawyers and going to court,

1350
01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:24,440
Speaker 3: she used Kelly's text messages and the recordings as evidence.

1351
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:27,320
Speaker 3: She even found more proof of affairs with other women.

1352
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:30,400
Speaker 3: When she was moving out, she tried to take his laptop,

1353
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:32,760
Speaker 3: which she mistook for her own, and he got really

1354
01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:37,480
Speaker 3: protective of it, which seemed suspicious. He ended up smashing it.

1355
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:40,320
Speaker 3: Smashing it, but she took the hard drive to a

1356
01:06:40,360 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 3: technician and recovered tons of recently deleted images of another

1357
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:48,480
Speaker 3: woman who'd sent him spicy pictures. She ended up getting

1358
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:51,120
Speaker 3: half his stuff and the house. Thank goodness. They didn't

1359
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:55,680
Speaker 3: have kids. And here's the juicy part I mentioned. Yes,

1360
01:06:55,760 --> 01:06:57,560
Speaker 3: he was supposed to leave on a work trip. But

1361
01:06:57,600 --> 01:07:01,520
Speaker 3: the thing is he worked for her father's small business.

1362
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:05,040
Speaker 3: Uh oh, that's how they met, as she would work

1363
01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:07,360
Speaker 3: there part time while in college when he first joined,

1364
01:07:07,920 --> 01:07:11,640
Speaker 3: well after what was revealed, he was of course fired.

1365
01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:15,520
Speaker 3: With no home, little money, and no job. He ended

1366
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:18,920
Speaker 3: up moving back into my father's home. He confronted me

1367
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,120
Speaker 3: at my door one day, and I just reminded him

1368
01:07:21,160 --> 01:07:22,960
Speaker 3: of all the crap he did to me all my life,

1369
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:26,200
Speaker 3: how he's the cheater, not me, and how he did

1370
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 3: this to himself.

1371
01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:31,840
Speaker 2: So your brother sucked. Do I agree with the lengths

1372
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:33,640
Speaker 2: to which you took this No?

1373
01:07:34,280 --> 01:07:36,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, especially involving your girlfriend.

1374
01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:41,000
Speaker 2: Am I happy that you and his wife were nearby

1375
01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:43,080
Speaker 2: the whole time in case anything went wrong?

1376
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:47,280
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yes, but just like literally so much of you know,

1377
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:48,920
Speaker 3: so much of the night could have gone wrong.

1378
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:54,640
Speaker 2: That really stressed me out. I have no words. That

1379
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:55,520
Speaker 2: was kind of weird.

1380
01:07:56,880 --> 01:08:00,320
Speaker 3: Glad you got with Yeah, please go to their therapy.

1381
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:03,080
Speaker 2: Please listen, Please go to therapy. Fiance.

1382
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:07,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, yikes, there's a little bit left. This was about

1383
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:09,840
Speaker 3: six months ago and I haven't spoken to him since.

1384
01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:12,600
Speaker 3: My older sisters said they were proud of me for

1385
01:08:12,680 --> 01:08:15,200
Speaker 3: finally getting him back, and they've been giving me some

1386
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:17,160
Speaker 3: updates as I don't stay in touch with him and

1387
01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:20,080
Speaker 3: my dad. He still lives at home and works now

1388
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,200
Speaker 3: in another job, which doesn't pay as much as his

1389
01:08:22,320 --> 01:08:25,000
Speaker 3: last job, but he had no other choices. No one

1390
01:08:25,080 --> 01:08:29,040
Speaker 3: was really hiring. Apparently he's gained some weight and occasionally

1391
01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:31,720
Speaker 3: still bad mouths me and his now ex wife. But

1392
01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:32,519
Speaker 3: that's about it.

1393
01:08:33,280 --> 01:08:39,920
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, sure, cool dude, Okay, Yeah

1394
01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:40,960
Speaker 3: That was wild.