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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hi ladies, Hi, Hi, I guess jan good.

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Speaker 1: It feels like I don't know.

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Speaker 3: People don't know this, but we changed our day for podcasting.

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Speaker 3: And it's weird because I have no rhythms in my

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Speaker 3: stay at home mom life except for the day that

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Speaker 3: we podcast, and so now I'm always a little confused.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then the holiday, all the things did You'll

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Speaker 1: have a good holiday?

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Speaker 2: It was great. Actually I talked about it on Adult Education,

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Speaker 2: so give a listen to that. But we just fell

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Speaker 2: in love with rock City. It was so great. We

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Speaker 2: loved it so much.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.

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Speaker 2: It was such a rad name, rock City. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to go to rock City. It is amazing.

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Speaker 2: We had so much fun. But something happened there, So

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Speaker 2: stay tuned to that. Stay tuned.

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Speaker 1: Wait here.

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Speaker 2: I know it's fun.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, kids had a blast. We did that same great.

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Speaker 3: I loved doing nothing home. No, he's never home, Okay, Okay,

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Speaker 3: you know it's weird. Is I think I felt like

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Speaker 3: what family feels like this weekend to have family in town.

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Speaker 3: So the beaches live really close to us. Jana introduced

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Speaker 3: us to them, and they've been like a really wonderful

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Speaker 3: addition to our world. It's hard to find a couple

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Speaker 3: that everybody loves, like, you know, Prestin and I match

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Speaker 3: and the kids match. So they were just out and

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Speaker 3: Josh said, I do you want me to grab your

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Speaker 3: kids to play basketball the big kids? And I said, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I actually do want that, but I don't like know

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Speaker 3: what to do with that, like not paying him.

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Speaker 2: Right, It's almost like when you took my kids at

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Speaker 2: one day. You're like, you want me to take them,

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Speaker 2: and it's like, will you? But we're so we're not

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Speaker 2: used to that.

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Speaker 1: You don't have that like in your neighborhood or anything.

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Speaker 3: No, I mean no, sometimes a playdate one off r

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Speaker 3: like Leve will go or Leedgie will go, but not

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Speaker 3: like this was like full blown. And so then he's like, hey,

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Speaker 3: they want to swim. I get a text they want

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Speaker 3: to swim. Shane's at home, she's getting stuff done. I'm

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Speaker 3: in my home getting stuff done. We've rented a dead

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Speaker 3: so and you guys like for hours, I was in

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Speaker 3: my home. I cleaned out the craft cabinet, I got

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Speaker 3: the homeschool cabinet done. The baby took a nap. I

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Speaker 3: think that's what it feels like to have family help you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that'd be nice.

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Speaker 1: That's what it feels like. I feel like to just

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Speaker 1: kind of have a village around you in general, not necessarily.

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Speaker 2: Tell us what I feel like, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I think that I don't have that, Like I have

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Speaker 2: a village, but I don't have that.

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Speaker 1: You don't have like like like the neighborhood people.

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Speaker 2: They don't go over there and play with the neighbors

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Speaker 2: and stuff, not like I mean, yes, but they usually

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Speaker 2: come here.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I'll definitely have I feel like somebody for each

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Speaker 1: of my kids. Maybe not one person that would take

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Speaker 1: all of them because they're all different ages.

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Speaker 2: Anyone that would I would, I mean Adam to the

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Speaker 2: Clark for sure.

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Speaker 1: I mean I think if you switch off, you know,

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Speaker 1: like I mean like for Ramsey with like Katie or whatever,

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Speaker 1: she'll take her and then I'll take her and we

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Speaker 1: you know, we just kind of switch off and the

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Speaker 1: with you know, it's more for Ramsey. But I guess

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Speaker 1: when they get older they just have friends they go

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Speaker 1: hang out with in general.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, if I want to do that, it cost me,

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Speaker 3: like one hundred dollars. Yeah, every time minimum.

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Speaker 1: I really think that investing in like that kind of

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Speaker 1: friendship is just so great for you as an adult,

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Speaker 1: but also just so great for that and it's good

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Speaker 1: for them. Then they get to go hang out with

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Speaker 1: other well.

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Speaker 3: And Josh is a really fun dude, and he's also

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Speaker 3: super loves my husband, is respectful. He's like I never

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Speaker 3: he's not trying to like oh for sure, you know,

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Speaker 3: he's just but like legend needs a dude.

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Speaker 2: So it was awesome.

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Speaker 3: So he got their son and Josh and they just

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Speaker 3: all hung out and they had a rad time. And

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Speaker 3: you know, Josh is from London, so he comes with

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Speaker 3: the English accent and that's always super fun for the kids.

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Speaker 3: So he called it English School. He's like, I took

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Speaker 3: your kids to English school or whatever however that accent goes.

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Speaker 2: But I just.

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Speaker 3: Feel so much better. Yeah, getting a little relief on

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Speaker 3: the weekends.

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Speaker 1: Well, and then when you can do it for them

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Speaker 1: at some point, yes, you know, and then it just

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Speaker 1: kind of becomes that also what a time, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. It's just like, hey, someone does something

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Speaker 1: for you, and it's like, hey, let me take them.

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Speaker 1: I'll go do this and you just kind of start

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Speaker 1: switching off and it just becomes this like you know freedom. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's great.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean we have like the random things like that,

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Speaker 2: like Jase has a buddy in school, but it's like,

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Speaker 2: all right that he went over their house one time,

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Speaker 2: they'll come over here. But mostly it's I mean, Pam

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Speaker 2: and I will do that with like Harlow and Joy,

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Speaker 2: but we don't really have Yeah, it's never like both

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Speaker 2: of them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I guess I don't have anybody that takes

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Speaker 1: both of them.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's not even that, But I think what we're

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Speaker 2: saying is like about having that family where it's like

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Speaker 2: you could if you wanted to have someone pick them

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Speaker 2: up and take them somewhere or grandparent or whatever. I

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Speaker 2: think it's showing up for the kids is a thing. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, that's the next time I have two seats extra

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Speaker 3: free to ro City, take two kids.

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Speaker 1: Because rox City. I love it. Rock City's amazing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Anyways, a fun development that I actually had help.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.

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Speaker 2: It was weird and great.

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Speaker 1: That's so great. And Nick went to the I mean

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Speaker 1: I went for a day. But Nick always takes the

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Speaker 1: kids down to his aunts for they call cousins camp

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Speaker 1: on Labor Day weekends. Yeah, and I don't usually sometimes

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Speaker 1: I'll go for a day, but I never like plan

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Speaker 1: to go and stay because there's so many people there

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Speaker 1: and it's like kids are sleeping on couches, Like I'm

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Speaker 1: not taking up a space, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So it's just kind of become this thing and it's

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Speaker 1: kind of nice. Got to stay back and clean and

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Speaker 1: like do stuff and be alone. Yeah, it was great.

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Speaker 1: I mean I went all day Sunday, but yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was nice, like needed to just staying clean and do stuff.

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Speaker 2: But that was my update. Yeah, I like it. I

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Speaker 2: have an update, but I'm not really sure. I've been

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Speaker 2: like really hesitant sharing it because I don't know people's

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Speaker 2: reactions I think are something that I don't want something,

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Speaker 2: you know. But it's been really cool to have some

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Speaker 2: really awesome people's reactions and can we think an update huh.

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Speaker 1: I think she's still debating whether she's going to tell us.

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Speaker 2: But some people get a reaction.

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Speaker 3: We want to react well because I've I've only like

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Speaker 3: shown well because it's it's one of those things where

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Speaker 3: it's like I understand people are having hard times, you know,

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Speaker 3: like if if I was to post something and then

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Speaker 3: they say like, okay, people can't afford groceries, and like

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Speaker 3: I get it, Like.

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Speaker 2: I've stayed in your driveway.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it is.

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Speaker 2: It is because it's stunning.

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Speaker 1: We walked out last week and she goes and she

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Speaker 1: just I.

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Speaker 3: Just was like, wait, I didn't, but I never I

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Speaker 3: feel like you guys switched cars a lot, so I

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Speaker 3: never know what's here and what's going. Like you are

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Speaker 3: a kind of like frequent car family. So I didn't

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Speaker 3: write what sure.

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Speaker 2: Really not me.

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Speaker 1: I've always he's had a different A couple of times.

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Speaker 1: It is like wait, and then the motorcycle.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's got a he's got a car deal with

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Speaker 2: his buddy Troy out of shout out to tour Campbell

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Speaker 2: Campbell Car Place or whatever. And at Campbell it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: camp it's in like green or something Kentucky. And so yeah,

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Speaker 2: he does like a little sponsorship thing with them, and

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Speaker 2: so he gives them trucks and stuff like we do

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Speaker 2: the same. Yeah, And I used to have that with Chevy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I had the Tahoe, or I had the Camaro,

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Speaker 2: and then the Tahoe. You and a Camaro makes me laugh.

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Speaker 2: I like it.

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Speaker 3: It was great, and then I was pregnant Jolie, and

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Speaker 3: then we got the Tahoe. So yeah, well don't we all.

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Speaker 3: But I know I had a couple of doors and

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Speaker 3: the third Energy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, a good bit of cars so too. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: I love to lease.

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Speaker 3: I love to change a car every three four years. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's my favorite thing. Dave Ramsey's heart.

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Speaker 2: But that's what it does. Yeah, yeah, I mean, but

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Speaker 2: there's also upsides too, Like Kevin, my business manager, says,

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Speaker 2: it's actually the smartest thing to do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say a lot of people say that,

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Speaker 1: and if you put it like on paper, I think

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Speaker 1: it can be, depending on interest rates and stuff. It

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Speaker 1: absolutely can be. It's just when that stuff is ingrained

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Speaker 1: in you, it's like you like can't get past it.

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Speaker 1: But I've been told that by so many people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I have been a liser since you

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Speaker 2: like to change teams. Yeah, yeah, I'll never forget my

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Speaker 2: dad again. I had to work for my car, right

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Speaker 2: and so, but my dad co signed for my lease

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Speaker 2: at the Chevy or the it was a Lero it

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Speaker 2: wasmobile at the time, so we'll rend alero. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: so it was just one of those things where I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but I've had some really fun reactions

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Speaker 2: from people that have known my love for what I wanted.

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Speaker 2: And then it's so, I don't know, is this the

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Speaker 2: dream car? Yeah? I think I can tell by your

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Speaker 2: face that were excited. Oh my gosh. Yeah, okay, well

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Speaker 2: then let's talk about it. I know, but it's it's

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Speaker 2: one of those things where it's like kind of been

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Speaker 2: back and forth because I think people, well, for me

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Speaker 2: at least, sometimes I get hesitant to like share things

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Speaker 2: because I don't I don't I don't want to be

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Speaker 2: like tone deaf either, but also it's like, why can't

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Speaker 2: we celebrate the things that we've worked really hard for too?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely, I deal.

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Speaker 2: With this too, and I don't know what that is,

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Speaker 2: Like it's a shame.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think that if you I think that,

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Speaker 1: if you're thinking about that to me, that says that

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Speaker 1: you're aware, you're not tone deaf, you understand, but also

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Speaker 1: there's an and here, and you're able to celebrate that.

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Speaker 1: I think that being tone deaf is not being aware

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Speaker 1: of the fact that some people can't afford you know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So I think you're very aware of it.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that makes you tone deaf in the least.

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Speaker 1: I think it's okay for you to celebrate it.

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Speaker 3: I mean, Kim Kardashian just took her boys, her celebrated

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Speaker 3: her son on a private jet. So I feel like,

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Speaker 3: you're fine.

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Speaker 2: You work so freaking hard, you know, like you just

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Speaker 2: really work so hard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think it was just one of those things where

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Speaker 2: where it's it's a car that I have wanted for

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Speaker 2: twenty plus years, okay.

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Speaker 3: That matters, and your business manager said yes, and our

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Speaker 3: business manager was the same, and I got the shakedown

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Speaker 3: at the.

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Speaker 2: Affinity dealer show have I that's the thing, So have I?

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Speaker 3: Okay, And that's where it's like, but this is where

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Speaker 3: it comes full circle because his text message literally may

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Speaker 3: may stop and cry at a soccer match because of

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Speaker 3: what he like said, too mad, no good. It was

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Speaker 3: good okay, And it was one of those things. So

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Speaker 3: so this is like, okay, full story, like twenty years

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Speaker 3: in the making, right, And I just like I feel

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Speaker 3: like I have to say these pieces of it because

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Speaker 3: I was the girl that stole toilet paper from that

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Speaker 3: I don't recommend stealing anything by the way, but like

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Speaker 3: toilet paper from the wood ranch girl.

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Speaker 2: Maybe that's when why they went out of business. I

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Speaker 2: don't know, they went down the toilet, moving on business

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Speaker 2: down the dome, you know, frozen tiketos for a year.

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Speaker 2: Had electricity turned off of me like saw the red

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Speaker 2: so many times in a bank account, I couldn't even

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Speaker 2: tell you, you know what I mean, Like I have had.

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Speaker 2: I've had that before. I've had where I did not

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Speaker 2: afford groceries. I mean literally lived off the think thin

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Speaker 2: bars like breakfast, breakfast, lunch, and dinner about twenty twenty four,

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Speaker 2: I think pretty much. So like I it's not that

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Speaker 2: I don't understand that piece of it, because I do.

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Speaker 2: It's not I didn't grow up with money. I didn't

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Speaker 2: have money. Worked for everything that I've had, So that's

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Speaker 2: like that piece of it. But yeah, dream car was

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Speaker 2: always the that and and so it was always when

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Speaker 2: my ex's car was going to be paid off, that

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Speaker 2: was He was like, when the when the car's paid off,

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Speaker 2: you should get your dream car. And I'm like, oh man,

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I can get Like I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. He's like, we won't have a car payment,

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Speaker 2: it's fine, but then we got divorced, so then I

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Speaker 2: was like, well, there goes, there goes, and now I'm

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Speaker 2: paying child support, so that's my car. So I always

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Speaker 2: then associated not being able to have my dream car

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Speaker 2: because I'm paying child support, and that one hurt every time.

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Speaker 2: So every time I see it on the road, I

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Speaker 2: was I would say, like, it's my dream car, but

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Speaker 2: I can't have it because I'm paying child support and

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Speaker 2: so and then Alan would be like, baby, yes you

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Speaker 2: can have it. I was like, no, I can't. Like

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Speaker 2: I have got all the pressures of everything right now

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Speaker 2: and supporting a lot of people, and he's still in

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Speaker 2: his building phase of stuff, and so it's like a

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Speaker 2: lot of pressure. And I come from the scarcity mindset

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Speaker 2: of not having money and going back to that and

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Speaker 2: then not having letting my kids like I had to

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Speaker 2: quit a sport because I could my parents couldn't afford

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Speaker 2: it because they got divorced. So I'm like, I don't

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Speaker 2: want that for my kids, Like I want them to

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Speaker 2: be able to like have whatever the sport they play

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Speaker 2: like because I can't not because I can't afford it.

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Speaker 2: So and feel terrible for the parents that do go

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Speaker 2: through that, Like again, I get it and I've been

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Speaker 2: there so when I was a kid. So then cut

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Speaker 2: to Alan like pulls into the dealership and I'm like

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Speaker 2: what are you doing? He's like, you hate your car?

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Speaker 2: And I was like I do and I've never I've

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Speaker 2: never like not liked my car. I've I've usually always

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Speaker 2: liked it, but I got stuck in the lease that

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Speaker 2: I didn't like and yeah, and so we He's like,

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Speaker 2: do you want to test drive it? I was like no,

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Speaker 2: because I love it, like I already loved it, like

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Speaker 2: I already know what it is. And he's like, let

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Speaker 2: me just talk to the sales guy and Alan please,

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Speaker 2: like we can we just get out of here? Like

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Speaker 2: this is so silly, I'm not going to do this.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like stressed about always about everything. Did it

300
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Speaker 2: make you anxious? Oh my god? Yeah, all of it?

301
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Speaker 2: Because I'm like I was choking. Of course I want it, yeah,

302
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Speaker 2: like my dream, you know. And he started talking to Yazer,

303
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Speaker 2: who was like the sweetest salesman ever, and Alan got

304
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Speaker 2: him down to like a really great price. But I

305
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Speaker 2: was like I still like I can't do it, and

306
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Speaker 2: he's like, can you have the general manager call blah

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Speaker 2: blah blah. So the next cut to the next day,

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Speaker 2: we're at like the soccer field and he's on the

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Speaker 2: phone like during like Jase's match. I'm like, what's going on?

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Speaker 2: And he had asked me. He's like, what would you

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Speaker 2: want it to look like? And I basically told them

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Speaker 2: a figure that was not far off of what another

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Speaker 2: car that I was going to get was similar to

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Speaker 2: my Range Drover. I was going to get a Defender.

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Speaker 2: Long story short, the guy got it pretty close, like

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Speaker 2: a silly like he gave like the general manager at Mercedes,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to give you little shout out like I

318
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Speaker 2: think he was doing pro bono work for me or

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Speaker 2: something like he felt bad. I don't know, but he

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Speaker 2: gave me a great deal. And it was like one

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Speaker 2: of those things where I texted Kevin and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I this is what you know what he said, and

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Speaker 2: this seems incredible. Troy and BJ know, our friends car

324
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Speaker 2: dealer friends were like this, that's insane, like take the deal,

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Speaker 2: and and then Kevin was like, you work so hard,

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Speaker 2: you deserve it, yes, And I just like started crying

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Speaker 2: because I think that when he said deserve it, I

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Speaker 2: was like, there's a piece of me that doesn't feel

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Speaker 2: like I deserve it. And I would agree with Kevin. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and he doesn't give those Well.

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Speaker 1: That's what I asked her when we were discussing it.

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Speaker 1: I was like, what did Kevin say? And she sent

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Speaker 1: me the screenshot and I was like, no questions asked.

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Speaker 3: For anybody that doesn't have a business manager, they're usually

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Speaker 3: not emotional people and usually default to know. And so

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Speaker 3: for him to.

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Speaker 2: He told for years course he's told me no a lot.

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Speaker 2: I think that's why we don't use him anymore getting Kevin.

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00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,600
Speaker 2: But it was no, It truly was and I And

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00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 2: so that was on a Saturday, and then on Sunday

341
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Speaker 2: I told Alan. I was like, I'm not I'm not

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Speaker 2: doing it, and I started crying about it. I was like,

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Speaker 2: there's a piece of me that doesn't doesn't think that,

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Speaker 2: like and I was like, I don't know what it is.

345
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,720
Speaker 2: I was like, who am I? Who am I to

346
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Speaker 2: have that? Like? And why? Like what's the point you know?

347
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Speaker 2: And I was like I just there was like this

348
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:03,600
Speaker 2: didn't think that I deserved it? And I and He's like,

349
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Speaker 2: you do deserve it. You work so hard and I'm like, yeah,

350
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Speaker 2: but now and I have text and Catherine, I'm like,

351
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Speaker 2: you know how stressed I am about always, like right,

352
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Speaker 2: the pressure of everything and the child support this that

353
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Speaker 2: I'm like, what if I don't work or this happens.

354
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:20,040
Speaker 2: And but then I'm like, you know what, screw it?

355
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,120
Speaker 2: Like it was so stupid. But I was in church

356
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Speaker 2: and our pastor was like, send it And I know

357
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Speaker 2: he wasn't saying send it to get your dream car.

358
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,880
Speaker 2: He's like, but he's like, live your life, send it,

359
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,440
Speaker 2: like send it up, like pray. Like he's like, and

360
00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:36,760
Speaker 2: he's like, do make bold choices, and and I was

361
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Speaker 2: just sitting there. I'm like, I know he's not talking

362
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Speaker 2: about this in my dream car. I was like, but like,

363
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,920
Speaker 2: but there's a piece of it that does resonate. It's

364
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,840
Speaker 2: not about the car as much as it is about

365
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Speaker 2: all the things the car means to you. Yeah, And

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Speaker 2: it's like, I I just I want to feel proud

367
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Speaker 2: of what I'm driving, and like, because I do work hard,

368
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,240
Speaker 2: and like I don't buy guys, I'm in an eight

369
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Speaker 2: dollars Amazon shirt right now, you know what I mean. Like,

370
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:01,280
Speaker 2: I don't buy crazy things. It's always for the kids

371
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,680
Speaker 2: or Alan or you know, everyone else. And this is

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Speaker 2: the first thing that I like really feel like I

373
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 2: did for myself. I got into that car and I

374
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:13,080
Speaker 2: screamed so loud driving it, and then I just started

375
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:16,480
Speaker 2: crying because it was like who am I like? Who

376
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,560
Speaker 2: like the girl that's like frozen tiketos like electricity being

377
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,280
Speaker 2: turned off to like driving her dream car. I was like,

378
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,320
Speaker 2: it was a moment and I was like bawling in

379
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,440
Speaker 2: the car. It was and then I streamed again like

380
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Speaker 2: it was amazing.

381
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Speaker 3: I think too, like there's there's a lot of people

382
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Speaker 3: in our area that will do things like that that

383
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,640
Speaker 3: can't do things like that for appearances and to like

384
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,400
Speaker 3: so to be able to be in it and wait

385
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,200
Speaker 3: for the moment where it like feels right and feels

386
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:48,800
Speaker 3: exciting and isn't like that just matters so much. And

387
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 3: we we live in such an instant gratification society that

388
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,760
Speaker 3: like you got to like wait and earn and actually

389
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,280
Speaker 3: get it when it felt right, not just to get it. Yeah,

390
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,800
Speaker 3: And I don't want to wait until the kids are

391
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,320
Speaker 3: eight team to get it or when like maybe says

392
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,520
Speaker 3: he's going to go up on his you know, when

393
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:05,760
Speaker 3: he turns forty, he's gonna stop.

394
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,440
Speaker 2: That's it's I learned. I'm like, it isn't gonna stop. No,

395
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,240
Speaker 2: when he turns forty, that's not gonna be true. He's

396
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,720
Speaker 2: still gonna make me pay the child support payments forever

397
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,480
Speaker 2: because whatever. And I'm like, I don't want to be

398
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 2: then disappointed in a couple of years because I still

399
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:20,479
Speaker 2: can't get my dream car. So I'm like, I am

400
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,399
Speaker 2: going to live my life like that's right. Well, I

401
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,359
Speaker 2: think there's so many lessons in this for you. I know,

402
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:25,240
Speaker 2: it's just a car.

403
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,879
Speaker 1: I hear you, and it's just a car, but also

404
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,560
Speaker 1: there's so many lessons in this for you because, like

405
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 1: I was saying to you, I'm like, if you do it,

406
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,200
Speaker 1: which I think that you should, you've got to put

407
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,360
Speaker 1: that stress away. You got to make that decision and

408
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,800
Speaker 1: move on and don't let it be a stressor. I

409
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,000
Speaker 1: think you have to understand that you have worked hard,

410
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,320
Speaker 1: you can afford it. You are not someone out here

411
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,840
Speaker 1: that's just getting it when they can't afford it, and

412
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:50,080
Speaker 1: you got it, and enjoy it, and don't let if

413
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:53,159
Speaker 1: something goes away tomorrow, don't freak out and think, oh

414
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,400
Speaker 1: my god, but I just got my dream car. Your

415
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:59,119
Speaker 1: car's there. It's okay. Yeah, you're fine. Have faith. God's

416
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,080
Speaker 1: telling you to have faith. He's gonna take care of you.

417
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 1: I just see so many lessons in this for you.

418
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:04,800
Speaker 1: You've waited for so long.

419
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,480
Speaker 2: Just enjoy it. Sure, But it was like, you, guys,

420
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,040
Speaker 2: I have to tell you like two like moments, right.

421
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,600
Speaker 2: So I was telling Joliet and Jace. I said, guys,

422
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,679
Speaker 2: I'm like, this is Mommy went and saw this car today.

423
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,120
Speaker 2: It's my dream car. I've wanted it for so long.

424
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,240
Speaker 2: Angelie's and she said the same thing. She goes, Mommy,

425
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:22,879
Speaker 2: you've worked so hard. She's like, you should get it.

426
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,680
Speaker 2: And I was like, I don't know, girl, I don't know, girl,

427
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,960
Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe I was like, Mommy is just

428
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 2: like kind of freaking out, but we'll see. Well, so Monday,

429
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,159
Speaker 2: I get it and I'm like, I'm going to go

430
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:35,160
Speaker 2: pick up the kids at school. And this is like

431
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:39,160
Speaker 2: I wish I could have recorded her face. So I'm

432
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,960
Speaker 2: in the pickup line and I get out and she goes, mom,

433
00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 2: you got your drug carts and like runs like into

434
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 2: the car and they're like their excitement was like everything

435
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,480
Speaker 2: to me, you know what I mean, because it's like

436
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, like they knew how much. Like I've

437
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,959
Speaker 2: worked too, and like hard for it, and like we

438
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,800
Speaker 2: can celebrate those moments where it's like, yes, like we

439
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,359
Speaker 2: have like this is what happens when you work really hard.

440
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 2: This mommy did you know? And like we can celebrate

441
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,639
Speaker 2: this all together. And then Pam. I've also talked to

442
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,119
Speaker 2: Pam about the car, and so I go, hey, girl'll

443
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:14,240
Speaker 2: come outside and she knows too, like we always talked about,

444
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,720
Speaker 2: like that's like her dream car. And her reaction when

445
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 2: she came out, she screamed so loud I think the

446
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 2: entire name because she was like and it was like

447
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,720
Speaker 2: like you girls, it's like find you friends that celebrate

448
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 2: even like their dream car, you know what I mean.

449
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 2: It's like, yes, that's also her dream car, but like

450
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,720
Speaker 2: she was celebrating my win in that moment, and it

451
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 2: was like I'll never forget that. And in that moment,

452
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,639
Speaker 2: I was like, man, what a what a good friend?

453
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,080
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, like to like celebrate that

454
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 2: with me and like be there and it was awesome

455
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,520
Speaker 2: and I have enjoyed every minute. I love driving now

456
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,360
Speaker 2: it is so fun, like you.

457
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 3: Have a glow in your face like you just got

458
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 3: engaged or something.

459
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,920
Speaker 2: Well that's how I feel. But I've also like been

460
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 2: so hesitant to share it, and I haven't shared it

461
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 2: because it's like I don't want to be like goods

462
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 2: look at my I can't even say it, you know

463
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:06,680
Speaker 2: what I mean. I'm like, oh, I was like anywagon,

464
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,200
Speaker 2: Like I was like, because I don't want to feel

465
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 2: it be like you know, but again, I'm like, I've

466
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 2: also been the girl struggling too.

467
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just think there's many lessons in it though

468
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 3: for like everyone listening to it's not even like we

469
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,640
Speaker 3: all have those things. We are trying to remove blocks

470
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 3: at our house right now. This is like something we're

471
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,120
Speaker 3: working on because Preston is a preacher's kid who grew

472
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 3: up with nothing.

473
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 2: I grew up with nothing.

474
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 3: My parents still rent a house if they've never owned

475
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:35,719
Speaker 3: a home since I've been alive, and so it's like

476
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,080
Speaker 3: I have the scarcy mentality where I'm like, but this is,

477
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 3: you know, our house is the prettiest house that I've

478
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,239
Speaker 3: ever lived in, and so like we got it at

479
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,159
Speaker 3: such a good when we're just it was brilliant. It

480
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 3: was ten years ago before everyone moved to Tennessee, and

481
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 3: we have a two point one interest rate and and

482
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 3: so I, oh, no, you guys, you have no idea.

483
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you want my host.

484
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's such a smart decision that like we you know,

485
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,679
Speaker 3: like you couldn't even rent something for whoa And it's

486
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 3: beautiful and it was new and so we but like

487
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,880
Speaker 3: I've said, depressed, and it's okay that our needs have changed.

488
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,640
Speaker 3: Our closet sucks, you guys know how much? So that

489
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,120
Speaker 3: to me, the g wagon for y'all say it out

490
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,840
Speaker 3: loud is the closet for me. Sure, the day I

491
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,399
Speaker 3: get the closet where I get to come in and

492
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,679
Speaker 3: it's just like other space for things. And that may

493
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 3: be materialistic, but I enjoy the styling piece so much.

494
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,200
Speaker 3: And every time I'm just like, oh, but it's such

495
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,920
Speaker 3: a smart decision to stay here. I wouldn't sell a

496
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 3: house because of a closet. Maybe I would, but worker yeah,

497
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 3: but why'd they get divorced? Oh this is why. That's

498
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 3: from a movie when I gain divorced, And I just

499
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 3: feel like there's so much to be said. I started

500
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 3: listening to the Secret again and reading the source and

501
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 3: just how we need to take the lid off of

502
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 3: our brain sometimes and like really give ourselves permission to

503
00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:01,159
Speaker 3: dream again. Where moms, we're busy, we're always doing for

504
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,440
Speaker 3: everyone else that we forget to dream for ourselves.

505
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so true.

506
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:10,160
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm really excited for you bring so much joy.

507
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,280
Speaker 2: Oh I love it. It makes me really happy.

508
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yes, little Jana is so excited for Big Janna.

509
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:25,719
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I don't have a one. I'm sure that was.

510
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 2: That was. I feel like this is just a positive day. Okay, great.

511
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,199
Speaker 1: I truly don't have a wine about it this week.

512
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 1: I feel like I whined the last couple of weeks.

513
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:36,640
Speaker 1: The party wines.

514
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 2: We have a follow up line, which party your brothers?

515
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:41,439
Speaker 1: I didn't go?

516
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 2: Wow, I told you all. I thought you were going, knew,

517
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 2: Oh I thought you said you were going, So you

518
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 2: chose not to go?

519
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 1: I did, okay, because I mean we were busy. I

520
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 1: can't say I wish we had video again. Like I

521
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 1: said last week, he had things that probably could have

522
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 1: been canceled. We did not, and we did not go. Okay, great,

523
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: so we're just all in.

524
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 2: The same place.

525
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 1: But I got a lot of enjoy feedback.

526
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,880
Speaker 2: People love that conversation.

527
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 3: Oh man, I think it's a oh yeah, it resonates,

528
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 3: It resonates.

529
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, So that's all that's all I got. I'm still

530
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,360
Speaker 1: in the same I just feel like we're all positive

531
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 1: this week. Sometimes we don't have things to whine about.

532
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,919
Speaker 2: I definitely do, but I'm gonna I'm gonna post it

533
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 2: for answer. Where were we?

534
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 1: Kristen backed me up? Here was it your house? When

535
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:39,119
Speaker 1: we all hung out dinner bathroom? She said, I have

536
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 1: something to talk about, but we're going to pin it

537
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 1: for the podcast. So we have now waited two weeks.

538
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 2: Tell me to write it death or something I thought

539
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 2: you did?

540
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 1: No, I didn't, And so this is when guys, we

541
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,119
Speaker 1: just never find out. But it'll might come up like

542
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 1: a month from now. We oh remember when no, because

543
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 1: you never told us?

544
00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 2: Because remember, I do have things, but I'm gonna I'm

545
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 2: just gonna ride high on my story today.

546
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 1: Has anyone watched I know this isn't a white about

547
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: but I'm just really curious and we might have to

548
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 1: talk about this next week. I need y'all to watch it.

549
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 1: If not, have y'all watched the new Chrystlies.

550
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 2: Oh I haven't started yet, but I want to.

551
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:27,959
Speaker 1: I want y'all to watch it and we need to

552
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 1: have discussions around it. Okay, okay, so that's y'all do work.

553
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you.

554
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:35,280
Speaker 2: All homework and live homework. It's really good.

555
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 1: It will be a good topic for us to discuss. Okay,

556
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 1: I got a good topic, but.

557
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 2: I finished mob plan aroad to me. How is it incredible?

558
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 2: I told you a little gory been incredible. So good. Yeah,

559
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 2: it's wild. Though.

560
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 3: They say mate a lot, and I'm like, I get it,

561
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 3: but like, we don't say friend that much.

562
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 1: They say, have you not noticed Janna now says mate

563
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 1: a lot? Do I well, let me rephrase that, not

564
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 1: a lot? But I heard you say it the other

565
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 1: night at dinner his mate.

566
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 2: That's so funny, Yeah, I said, like his mate maybe yeah,

567
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 2: oh wait oh yeah, because like his to say his

568
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,679
Speaker 2: friend like this, that's like their mate, you know what

569
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 2: I mean. So it's like you're just so I'm like

570
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:20,400
Speaker 2: doing it, but I wouldn't be like, hey mate, yeah, yeah,

571
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 2: thank you, thank you, thank you. But did you have

572
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 2: something or you want to pass? No?

573
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 3: Well, it's not a whine. I want your opinion on something.

574
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 3: But I'm going to pin it. You're gonna write it down. Yeah,

575
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:31,639
Speaker 3: I already have written now.

576
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 1: I have mine right now for next week.

577
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 2: To Kelly Stafford cried over daughter's behavioral issues. I don't

578
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:40,920
Speaker 2: recognize her. On her podcast, she discussed her daughter's recent

579
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 2: behavioral issues. One of my daughters, I've been very, very

580
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 2: much struggling with Matthew as well. She has become a

581
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 2: little girl that I don't recognize right now. I'm trying

582
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 2: to be mild with it, adding her behavioral issues have

583
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 2: extended beyond their home and trickled into her daughter's sports,

584
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 2: as she's been disrespecting coaches and not listening, giving attitude,

585
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 2: walking away while while they're talking to her. She had

586
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 2: said that her daughter recently been invited to cook up,

587
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 2: but she told her daughter that she would not be

588
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 2: allowed to go if she continued to misbehave. On the

589
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 2: morning of the event, she heard a troubling conversation between

590
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 2: two of her daughters. Tyler looks at her and said, wow,

591
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 2: you look really pretty in that outfit. So sweet. My

592
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 2: other daughter turned to her and she looked her up

593
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 2: and down, and I watched her and she goes, you

594
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,919
Speaker 2: look gross. Kelly said. After they got home, Kelly told

595
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 2: her daughter that if she acted up again, she'd be

596
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 2: walking to and from school to reflect on her actions. Unfortunately,

597
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 2: another incident happened a few days later, and Kelly kept

598
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 2: her word, but it broke her heart to do so.

599
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 2: I cried the entire time she was walking home, she said.

600
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 2: And I don't know if it's because I always have

601
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,919
Speaker 2: comparisons of girls who are sweet and kind and do

602
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 2: the right thing and try to at least. And I

603
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 2: know that everyone's like, oh, well, one's gonna rebel, You're

604
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 2: gonna have that one child that goes off tracks. One,

605
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 2: I don't believe that, and two I don't want that

606
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 2: to happen. Ladies' thoughts, Man.

607
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,679
Speaker 1: That's tough. I really the thing that sticks out to

608
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: me the most. I mean, I don't think, and I'm

609
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:04,879
Speaker 1: curious for you guys. I don't know that I've had

610
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: a child that I have felt like I don't recognize

611
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: them or I don't know them. There's obviously different personalities

612
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: and at times seen you know, my youngest, for instance,

613
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 1: for Ramsey has a harder time with sports and being

614
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 1: emotional around sports, and that can come off as a

615
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: bad attitude, and that's happened with other children too, But

616
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 1: I don't think I can relate to the feeling like

617
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 1: I don't know that my child like it kind of

618
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 1: came out of nowhere, is how it feels like for her.

619
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,959
Speaker 1: But so I am curious if y'all have felt that

620
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: with your kids. But also I want to talk about

621
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: the walking to and from school. I'm curious how y'all

622
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: feel about that part. So do you feel like that

623
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 1: at all with your kids?

624
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 2: Yes, I've definitely felt like I don't recognize legend at times.

625
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 1: Like it's kind of, yeah, comes out of nowhere, Yeah,

626
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 1: kind of.

627
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 3: I like really resonated with her whole story because I

628
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 3: feel I have felt this way about it.

629
00:27:58,800 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 2: Him, I'm like, where did my sweep?

630
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 3: But I would say, just like us, he just needs attention,

631
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,400
Speaker 3: He just needs connection. We have had such a good

632
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 3: last week, but I have been so diligent about making

633
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 3: sure that it's just him and I a little bit,

634
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:18,719
Speaker 3: and that I listened to his big ideas.

635
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 2: Then we fulfill his big ideas.

636
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 3: He wanted to go sell water in the neighborhood and

637
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 3: deliver it for a dollar, and so he made the

638
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,120
Speaker 3: sign and I put it all on the baby cart

639
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 3: behind me and we just rode bikes, involuntarily dropped water

640
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 3: and got invoiced for fake you know. But he made

641
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 3: eleven dollars and we did a match and gave it

642
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 3: to the cheer program eleven dollars plus. But he has

643
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 3: big ideas. He just is a very he's the only

644
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 3: male voice and a very woman dominated household, like even

645
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 3: our help is female and pressage is gone in summer

646
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 3: is hard.

647
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 2: So when she wrote that or.

648
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:54,880
Speaker 3: Was talking about that on the podcast, I just resonated

649
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 3: so deeply because it's such a it's like a really

650
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 3: hard feeling for a mom.

651
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 2: I think it's hard to because you know, I look

652
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 2: at as the kids have gotten older. I've watched Jolie

653
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 2: do that where it's like so sweet and then all

654
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 2: of a sudden, up there comes like the attitude in

655
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 2: the little sassiness. And I've started to notice it with Jace,

656
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 2: where it's I mean, he's my sweet, sweet, sensitive boy.

657
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 2: And the start of this school season, I've started to

658
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 2: notice a little bit more of a sassier why mom,

659
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 2: And I'm like, whoa, whoa, who you know, where's this attitude?

660
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 2: And Alan's had to kind of correct him a couple

661
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 2: of times with it, and you start to just see

662
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 2: that changing, and that's a sad piece. But I've never

663
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 2: not recognized them, but I think in those moments. So

664
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 2: I guess with Jolie, where she started to kind of

665
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 2: act out a bit more is because she was dealing

666
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 2: with her stuff, with the dyslexia stuff last year. And

667
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 2: then once I got her into therapy at her school

668
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 2: and her counselor or whatever, it was so much better

669
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 2: because she was able to talk about why she was

670
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 2: feeling that way. So I don't know what I'm sure.

671
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 2: I mean, Kelly's you know, old daughter girl eight.

672
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say it sounds I do think

673
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: that that age can be tricky.

674
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 2: Yeah too. There is a normal yeah, there is scientifically.

675
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, at that age. And I, you know, I just

676
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 1: feel so much for her because it's like, you're just

677
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: trying to and I say, I wanted to talk about

678
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 1: the school thing because I have a feeling that people

679
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 1: have a lot to say about that. But my point

680
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: in that is she's just doing the best she can

681
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,720
Speaker 1: right now. She's trying to figure out what works for

682
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 1: her child when she is acting out and that can

683
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 1: feel so lonely and hard and trying to figure out

684
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: you know, some kids need this, some kids need this

685
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: taken things taken away, or you know, just just positive reinforcement.

686
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 1: And so I just feel like some people might have

687
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 1: a negative thing with oh, you made them walk, you know,

688
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 1: or you made them whatever.

689
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 2: But so talk to me about that. I guess I'm

690
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 2: confused with that.

691
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 1: She said that if you acted up again, I'm going

692
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 1: to make you walk to and from two and from school,

693
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 1: And I could see people having a negative reaction to that,

694
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 1: like way you made her walk to and from school

695
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,479
Speaker 1: because she was having an attitude. Well, I think that

696
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 1: she's just kind of trying to figure out what works

697
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: for her and it's something that she said and she's

698
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 1: stuck to, which I you know, commend her for. You know,

699
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 1: if you know, if you say you're going to do something,

700
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 1: stick to it. But I just wonder how some people

701
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,719
Speaker 1: reacted to the fact that she did that to her

702
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 1: eight year old.

703
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 2: I think I agree with you if you're going to

704
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 2: say something like if you keep backing this way, you

705
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 2: don't get any more. Yeah, you don't, you don't get

706
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,959
Speaker 2: your play date. And it's like you have to you

707
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 2: have to stand by what you're saying or whatever it is.

708
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 1: Absolutely and also with someone like that, I feel like

709
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: you just got to try different things. Yeah, and see

710
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 1: maybe that doesn't work, Maybe it has to be something different.

711
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: But sometimes you have to go through it to see

712
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: what does work and gets through.

713
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

714
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 3: If I'm hard on Legend, he just gets harder. Right,

715
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 3: it does not work. Yeah, it doesn't work for Yeah,

716
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 3: he's a lot like me. But that's the other thing

717
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 3: we did. We took a walk the other day and

718
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 3: I said, I'm going to take you outside, like sometimes

719
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 3: I'm like, you're like a puppy, Like I've got to

720
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 3: get you air and you got to run. And we

721
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 3: were walking, I said, Legend, you and I are You're wired.

722
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 3: We're wired so similarly we I know exactly what you

723
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 3: need right now, movement and it's what's good for our people.

724
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 3: But he also loved that we had that in comment.

725
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's sweet.

726
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 2: The truth behind Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson's romance revealed

727
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 2: there was instant chemistry, but it never developed into an

728
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 2: intimate relationship. Do you guys think they were doing it

729
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 2: for Pierre?

730
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 1: So you didn't we talk about this before that you

731
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 1: did not. You did not buy this from the get

732
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: go right.

733
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 2: I didn't, but it made me want to watch the movie.

734
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 1: I don't even know the name of the movie so

735
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: or something.

736
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 2: No. I think it was one of those things where

737
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 2: it's like, do I think they were intentionally doing it? No,

738
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 2: I think they're both. I bet they have an amazing

739
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 2: connection and they have that flirty There are some people

740
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 2: that just have that really close, friendly, intimate connection that

741
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 2: isn't sexual, that isn't romanticize, maybe just like Glenn and Sydney.

742
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: I don't know, you know, but unfortunately not unfortunately, but

743
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 2: people start talking, well that then just gives them free

744
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 2: pr so why not lean into the little yep? But again,

745
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 2: I don't think that they were intentionally doing it, but

746
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 2: I think it worked. But one hundred percent was like

747
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 2: this is making me want to go watch the movie,

748
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 2: just like it did with anyone.

749
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: But you I just think the explanation that they gave

750
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 1: was exactly what I thought. Like you said, I didn't

751
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: think that it was staged. It didn't feel that way.

752
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 1: It felt, like you said, just like this sweet connection

753
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 1: that just was like fun and like whatever we don't care.

754
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 1: This is fun.

755
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 2: I would have loved it to be just like I

756
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 2: wanted the other Yeah, just like I want to what's

757
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 2: there Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson, you know, like I

758
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:51,680
Speaker 2: would have loved all those to be real.

759
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean there are Yeah, there's a lot of

760
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 1: staged you know, pr stunts for sure out there, But

761
00:33:58,720 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 1: this one didn't feel like that to me.

762
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 2: I just like, if there are ages that they're just

763
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 2: finding love, it's fun to me, I think. But they didn't.

764
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 1: Though they didn't they found but they found connection.

765
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 2: I should say. Yeah, I'm really struggling in my marriage lately.

766
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 2: We've been together for a little over ten years, married

767
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 2: for five. We each came into the relationship with our

768
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 2: own baggage and kids, like we all do, no kids together.

769
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 2: We've always had a pretty amazing relationship, no major problems,

770
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 2: but since our kids have grown up, it's gotten to

771
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 2: the point where all we do is fight over them.

772
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,799
Speaker 2: He babies his daughter, and it's gotten really hard. She

773
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 2: has kids and a boyfriend, but she calls us at

774
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 2: all hours of the night with one problem or another.

775
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 2: She needs money every other day, she needs rides, She

776
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 2: has her own car, but doesn't want to do things

777
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 2: alone with the kids because that's hard. But whatever she wants,

778
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 2: she gets. He won't tell her no, He won't tell

779
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 2: her not to call in the middle of the night, even

780
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:51,879
Speaker 2: though we are up early for work. But my son,

781
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 2: who has been through a lot in the last few years,

782
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 2: including a suicide attempt, is finally getting back on his

783
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 2: feet and getting through his own struggles, is just treated

784
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,239
Speaker 2: horribly by my husband. He said my son needs to

785
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 2: grow up and be a man. He's twenty one, and

786
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 2: he gets so mad about the smallest things with him.

787
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,319
Speaker 2: I feel like it's a constant tug of war and

788
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,799
Speaker 2: I'm walking a tightrope. I'm trying so hard to keep

789
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 2: the peace, and it just makes it worse. I'm in

790
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:15,359
Speaker 2: Michigan and I've tried to go to therapy but where

791
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 2: I'm at, But where I'm at, the waiting list is

792
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 2: so long for any place that's not an option, and

793
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 2: he refuses therapy. I'm at a loss, and my heart

794
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 2: is absolutely broken because I love him, but I can't

795
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,279
Speaker 2: keep fighting like this anymore. Every other area of our

796
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 2: life is great, but I don't know how to overcome this.

797
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 2: I won't choose him over my child, but just like

798
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 2: I would never let him choose me over his But

799
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 2: I'm tired of my son feeling hurt and like he's

800
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 2: the problem. He doesn't deserve that. He had a horrible

801
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 2: father who was emotionally in verbally abusive to him his

802
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 2: whole life. He deserves a dad who loves him. And

803
00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 2: my husband tells me I love him, but I don't

804
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:49,839
Speaker 2: have to like him, and that breaks me every time.

805
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 2: I know this is long, but I listen to your

806
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 2: podcast religiously and I value your opinion and advice. Any suggestions,

807
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 2: pep talks, or even hard truths will be welcome. Thank you.

808
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 2: I'm a sweet email like I mean like sweet, like yeah,

809
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 2: And when she said the hard truth, like I do

810
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 2: you appreciate that? Where it's like Michigander, I know she's like,

811
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 2: give it to me.

812
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 1: Yes, that's tough.

813
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 3: I do want to offer that there are other therapies

814
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 3: you can do online so that you don't have to

815
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 3: be in those wait lists. I value so deeply being

816
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 3: in a room with a therapist, but for more of

817
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:27,360
Speaker 3: an immediate remedy, or at least I think sometimes just

818
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 3: the idea of therapy just lends a hope that like

819
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 3: helps your heart a little bit. So just offering that

820
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 3: there is like a telehealth option usually for therapy that

821
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 3: you can also do.

822
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 1: Tricky, But it's interesting to me that they both disagree

823
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: with how each other is parenting each child. So she

824
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 1: doesn't like how he's parenting his daughter. He doesn't like

825
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 1: how she well maybe not how she's parenting her son,

826
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 1: but wants to parent him differently.

827
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 2: Right, Like he's saying like he's he's older, like he's

828
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:00,160
Speaker 2: he needs to grow up and be a man, but

829
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 2: his daughter.

830
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 1: Daughter is grown with kids, right, So that's interesting to me.

831
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 1: But thinking out loud, I wonder if it wouldn't if you,

832
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,839
Speaker 1: how would she do it differently with his daughter, and

833
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 1: how would he do it differently with her son? And

834
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 1: take those recommendations and try both of them. Does that

835
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 1: make sense? So like, if she thinks that she shouldn't

836
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 1: be calling in the middle of the night and that

837
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 1: she should drive herself, he should take those suggestions, in

838
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:35,400
Speaker 1: my opinion, and try that while also being understanding to

839
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,840
Speaker 1: what she thinks for her son and him, So meeting

840
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 1: in the middle for both because neither one's happy. How

841
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 1: either one's happening. What if you tried that? What if

842
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 1: you tried going, Okay, what if I do X, Y

843
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 1: and Z with my son because you feel like this

844
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 1: is going to be helpful, Let's try that. Why don't

845
00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 1: you do X, Y and Z with your daughter because

846
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 1: that would be helpful, I think as well, and maybe

847
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,720
Speaker 1: they can try to see each other's you know, advice

848
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 1: and the parenting. And I'm just trying to think through

849
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: a way for them to kind of come together with

850
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 1: it and it not just be you can't treat him

851
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 1: that way? And you know what I mean.

852
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's so hard because I think both

853
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 2: of them are very protective over their kids. And I

854
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 2: get that to an extent because of I'm in that

855
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 2: where like Alan is raising a wonderful son, you know,

856
00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 2: my stepson, and then we've got the littles here, and

857
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 2: it's like I would most likely be do I would

858
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 2: probably do things maybe different with his son, but I'm

859
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 2: at his mom, you know, like, yeah, I'm the step

860
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 2: I'm just the friend that's like here, right, and so

861
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 2: I'm just like offering support and all those things, but

862
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 2: I can't really input because.

863
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 1: At all you don't feel like you can. I mean,

864
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: that was going to be my next question. Do you

865
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 1: feel like if there was something that was going on

866
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 1: with his son that you didn't agree with?

867
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I definitely said I wouldn't do this

868
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 2: with my kids, you know what I mean? But I

869
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 2: think me saying that puts him in a defense, right, right,

870
00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,880
Speaker 2: because of how he wants to parent. So I truly

871
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,399
Speaker 2: step away from it because he's gonna parent how he's

872
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 2: going to want to parent his child. Now when it

873
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 2: comes to our child Roman, right, it's different because that's

874
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 2: more of a mutual thing. But that is his child.

875
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 2: So I might have my opinion of the situation, but

876
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, that's truly like his

877
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 2: decision at the very end of the day, I think today.

878
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 2: But like, but then with me, it's yeah, an adults like, great,

879
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 2: he's eighteen, But with me, it's the hard because when

880
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 2: Jace will like, yes, I my initial reaction is to

881
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 2: help Jace. First, his Alan's initial reaction is to Jace

882
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 2: to go do it yourself. So when he says, Alan,

883
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 2: can he help me this, He's like, go do it yourself.

884
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 2: I'm like, can we help? Like he's asking for help

885
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 2: you know. So it's like where she's most likely mothering,

886
00:39:56,800 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 2: wanting to you know, still mother her baby boy. Granted

887
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 2: twenty one fine, but she probably wants a little bit

888
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,839
Speaker 2: more like empathy from like the husband. He's like, he's

889
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 2: a grown man, grow up, Like what twenty one?

890
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 3: Which is I did that because he answers the phone

891
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:11,680
Speaker 3: call for the grown woman.

892
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying, because that's

893
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 2: he has the the empathy for his own child. She's

894
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 2: got it for her own child, and it's separate, and

895
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 2: because they have different parenting styles and they don't have

896
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 2: empathy for the other one for the others.

897
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 3: I feel like there's a deeper thing for him. It

898
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 3: feels to me like his need to be needed. Who's

899
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 3: the husband her husband? There's something about the like, you know,

900
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 3: it's biblical like the leave, cleave, weave thing where you're

901
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 3: supposed to break apart from your parents and go be

902
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 3: with your spouse's I'm not I don't know if the daughter,

903
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:49,800
Speaker 3: if his daughter, her stepdaughter is married or not. But

904
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:51,719
Speaker 3: to the point where this woman has kids and she's

905
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 3: still calling her dad, that often makes me feel like.

906
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 2: I think because he's giving into her. It's making her

907
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 2: feel frustrated because he's not doing the same thing to

908
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 2: the sun right where it becomes the push and pull

909
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:11,040
Speaker 2: because I'm almost challenging. I want to challenge the listener

910
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,319
Speaker 2: to treat how would you treat the girl if you

911
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 2: actually thought it was your daughter? Like what would you

912
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 2: do in that situation like that? And I'm not animosity,

913
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 2: but like the emotions behind and then see if he

914
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 2: can do the same too. It's almost like, let's emotionally

915
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 2: swap like, yeah, like this is now my daughter, like

916
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,440
Speaker 2: my daughter, even though I know that does this is

917
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:37,720
Speaker 2: your stepdaughter or whatever, but like try to like try

918
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 2: to see it from those from the mother's eyes and

919
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 2: the father's eyes as actually being their parent.

920
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, And I think that's where they can

921
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 1: kind of they can kind of meet. I also think

922
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:49,759
Speaker 1: there has there's something to do with it being a

923
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 1: boy and a girl. I definitely think that the girl.

924
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 1: It's a lot of times dads will do anything, will

925
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 1: do anything. You're you're you're a boy, you're a man,

926
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: man up. I think there might be a little bit

927
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 1: of that too that he may need to work there.

928
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 2: Well, and there's something for both of them.

929
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 3: That's the part where like there's a there's a woman essentially,

930
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 3: and this isn't I'm trying to figure out how to

931
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 3: word it.

932
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 2: That feels equally.

933
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 3: As important as his spouse, and there's a male that

934
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 3: feels equally as important as her spouse. So there's something there.

935
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 3: The need to be needed is a thing, at least

936
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 3: in our family, I pressed inside. The need to be

937
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 3: needed like is a deal, and it only gets worse

938
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 3: because there's kids needing right and not becoming adults, young

939
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 3: adults that should be adults. Yeah, and then I would

940
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 3: just I'm sure you've had this conversation with your husband,

941
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:44,360
Speaker 3: but really say, this is affecting our marriage when this happens.

942
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 3: Can you try to me in the middle, and I

943
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,719
Speaker 3: will do the same with your daughter. If you guys

944
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,360
Speaker 3: can both just meet each other in the middle and

945
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 3: have that conversation and be like, this is what would

946
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 3: be helpful for me in this moment. This would be

947
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 3: helpful if we did this with your daughter, or if

948
00:42:56,640 --> 00:43:00,760
Speaker 3: we did this with my son. And this will hurt

949
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 3: our marriage if it doesn't, if this continues the way

950
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,840
Speaker 3: that it's been going on. So if he really values

951
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,279
Speaker 3: the marriage and the relationship. He will meet you in

952
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 3: the middle. If not, if you have to give a lot, yeah, yeah,

953
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 3: because I don't. That would be a fun existence of

954
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 3: having your son feel bad.

955
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 2: And it doesn't. It just continues. Mm.

956
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: Tricky, it's a tricky one. But I would definitely try

957
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 1: and sit down and try and meet in the middle.

958
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 1: It's the only place that you can.

959
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 3: I think disarming husbands like that sometimes in my experience,

960
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 3: just to disarm the husband and say listen, I want

961
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 3: to love her, I want to answer the phone call

962
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 3: when our kids need us, both of our kids. So

963
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 3: maybe just entering in in a more neutral territory, right, yep.

964
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,320
Speaker 2: Same, let us know how it goes. Though I always

965
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 2: hate like.

966
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:56,399
Speaker 1: All of these.

967
00:43:56,680 --> 00:44:00,839
Speaker 2: I know, Okay, I'll go for a ride. Heyo, why

968
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 2: do okay? Talk to guys later by us H