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Speaker 1: Hello, what's up man? What's your name?

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Speaker 2: My name's Wyatt, Wyatt.

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Speaker 1: How's life Wyatt?

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Speaker 2: If they're uh, you know, it's okay. You know, New Year,

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Speaker 2: New Year, it's kind of going off on that.

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Speaker 1: Do you have like a New Year's resolution of some kind?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 2: I was, I was talking about my girlfriend about that

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Speaker 2: and like, I don't know. It's I'm twenty five years old,

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Speaker 2: so I've had twenty five, I guess twenty six whole

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Speaker 2: New years, and I've never really thought of like an

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Speaker 2: actual New Year's resolution. You know, I don't know what

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Speaker 2: that's sad, We're good, that's kind of going I don't

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Speaker 2: I don't think that that's either sad or good.

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Speaker 1: I think, well, yeah, it means you're just living life.

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Speaker 1: You're not trying to say yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I'd definitely like to reflect on my past year,

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Speaker 2: like how the year, like my past year has gone.

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Speaker 2: But I never really like, oh, I'm gonna start this

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Speaker 2: this coming year. I'm gonna I'm gonna change this. I'm

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Speaker 2: going to start doing that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you're just like, Okay, that happened, and then let's

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Speaker 1: let's continue on to the into the present, where more

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Speaker 1: stuff will happen. That's your take. Yeah, okay, you're not

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Speaker 1: a rev. You're not like I'm going to reevaluate and

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Speaker 1: change and do this other thing.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I guess it's not a bad thing to do,

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Speaker 2: but I really know not really.

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Speaker 1: That's okay. I don't think you need to do that necessarily.

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Speaker 1: The funny thing is is actually sometimes you can do

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Speaker 1: that and then YEA ultimately change nothing, and then you

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Speaker 1: wasted a bunch of time doing that when you could

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Speaker 1: have just been like living life in the moment. So so,

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Speaker 1: living life in the moment almost risks nothing. There's things

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Speaker 1: you might not there's things, there's things about the other

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Speaker 1: method that you might gain or lose. But if you

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Speaker 1: want to risk, but if you want to risk nothing,

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Speaker 1: right like if you're if you want to take no

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Speaker 1: risks and you just want to exist, that's I think

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Speaker 1: that's the way to do it, is just be in

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Speaker 1: the present.

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Speaker 2: Well what about you, mister ghak you got any New

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Speaker 2: Year's resolutions?

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Speaker 1: My news resolution is to ask you whyat about about

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Speaker 1: what it is that you texted me?

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Speaker 2: I mean, we could tell you we could do Oh

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Speaker 2: this past year has been crazy, dude. I think that's

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Speaker 2: one thing that's been on my mind here recently. But

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Speaker 2: I got a whole lot.

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Speaker 1: Well, okay, let me ask you this. So you texted

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Speaker 1: me initially and you said, I'm afraid I am becoming

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Speaker 1: more like my father.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I guess I can give you a little

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Speaker 2: yes sound? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Please? Sure?

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Speaker 2: Can you get me good? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I can?

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Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, So, long story short. My dad's he's he's

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Speaker 2: a recovery alcoholic and he got through some or went

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Speaker 2: through some stuff, got divorced from his second marriage, lost

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Speaker 2: custody of my half brother. It's been in rehab, in

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Speaker 2: and out of rehabs. Was really rough until here this

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Speaker 2: past year he actually got really good. Man Like, it

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Speaker 2: was super good. You know, he was doing good, didn't

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Speaker 2: really drink much, and then you know, kind of started

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Speaker 2: hitting the gym all this stuff. And then here recently

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Speaker 2: he's off of like probation and then me and my

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Speaker 2: sister kind of think came out of relas but he's

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Speaker 2: kind of doing it secretly. And I'm all over here

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Speaker 2: like judging my dad almost, and I feel bad about

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Speaker 2: it because I do. I'm like, oh, my dad shouldn't

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Speaker 2: be drinking blah blah blah. But as I'm doing that.

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Speaker 2: I'll be sitting at the bar pissed drunk, and then

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Speaker 2: I'm like, damn, am I like do I have a

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Speaker 2: drinking problem? Which granted my dad kind of like without

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Speaker 2: getting into like he didn't do anything like terrible, like

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Speaker 2: you never you know, nothing horrible, but just been an

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Speaker 2: if you father to to you know, I still love him,

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Speaker 2: but over here is sitting here. You know, I've got

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Speaker 2: a serious relationship going on, you know, if I want

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Speaker 2: to pursue a family and like you know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: does that make sense?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, yeah, no, you're I mean, I feel

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Speaker 1: like this happens with a lot of people when like

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Speaker 1: a it's interesting. I mean at least in my experience,

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Speaker 1: Like yeah, I've become exactly like my uh my dad,

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Speaker 1: And it's it's funny because I look at my I

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Speaker 1: look at my dad, and I think about there's a

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Speaker 1: lot there's a lot of I mean, as this is

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Speaker 1: true about all human beings, of course, but I look

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Speaker 1: at my dad and I there's a lot of like

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Speaker 1: negative aspects I think he has to his like life

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Speaker 1: and I and I'm absolutely I'm absolutely positively inheriting those

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Speaker 1: And then I look at my dad, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: my dad's the best.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: I look at him and he has uh well he

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Speaker 1: he and he has and he has and he has

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Speaker 1: all these like very positive aspects of his personality of

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Speaker 1: his life that I really admire and respect and love,

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Speaker 1: and I see themselves in me too. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm a carbon copy of my dad

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Speaker 1: in all of the best and worst ways.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I kind of feel the same, because I mean, like,

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Speaker 2: I love my dad to death, and like I think,

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Speaker 2: deep down he's an amazing father. You know. He he

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Speaker 2: has his issues obviously, you know, it's whether it's his

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Speaker 2: fault or not. But like I see the good in him,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, I hope to inherit those good parts

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Speaker 2: about my father, you know, the things I love about him.

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Speaker 2: But then I see myself sometimes, I like I'll see

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Speaker 2: my stuff, like inheriting some maybe his bad habits, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh crap, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, m Yeah, yeah, it's it's hard to not become

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Speaker 1: like your parents.

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Speaker 2: So no, yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So You're sitting at the bar and you're like,

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Speaker 1: all right, I'm at a crucial tipping point. You know,

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Speaker 1: I have a I'm sorry. I know you have. You

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Speaker 1: said you have a wife, girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: A girlfriend, yes, sir, a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: Okay, and you want to have a family.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, so we just we're just moved in together, okay.

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Speaker 1: And so you're like, I want to have a family.

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Speaker 1: I want to do this whole thing. And are you

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Speaker 1: are you like afraid of how drinking is going to

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Speaker 1: affect that?

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Speaker 2: I mean sort of yeah, because like like I said,

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Speaker 2: like we go out sometimes we'll drink, but then we'll

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Speaker 2: be like, like, I don't I mean, I guess this

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Speaker 2: is what every alcoholic says. But I don't think I'm

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Speaker 2: an alcoholic because you know, I I work nine to five.

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Speaker 2: You know, I don't drink during the week really, you

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Speaker 2: know on the weekends though, you know, I like to

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Speaker 2: have a drink, but it's like whenever I do drink,

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Speaker 2: it's like I like to have fun. But then I'm like,

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Speaker 2: you know, if I'm gonna if I'm gonna take stuff serious,

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Speaker 2: you know, because I mean we've already been talking about,

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Speaker 2: you know, the future and stuff, and you know, like

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Speaker 2: if I am gonna take that serious, you know, it's

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Speaker 2: something I'm gonna have to at least keep in mind.

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Speaker 2: You know how I do?

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Speaker 1: I guess yeah, when you well, let's all right, let's

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Speaker 1: do this. When you were a boy, do you do

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Speaker 1: you remember ways in which your dad drinking negatively affected

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Speaker 1: you or his relationship with your mom?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, for sure there was again, nothing bad

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Speaker 2: or crazy happened, but I mean, yeah, definitely there there's

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Speaker 2: definitely some times I can look back on and be like,

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Speaker 2: maybe he shouldn't have been Maybe that wasn't the situation

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Speaker 2: to be very drunk at like, for instance, like he

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Speaker 2: was looking on the couch watching football and then a

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Speaker 2: few beers turn him.

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Speaker 1: He's not, He's not. It's like, okay, was he like

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Speaker 1: let's not say plaster, but was he like putting a

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Speaker 1: few down at like the uh, your school, your school

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Speaker 1: play or soccer games or ship like that.

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Speaker 2: That's that is that is the perfect way. Yes, that

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Speaker 2: is the perfect.

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Speaker 1: Okay, he's not getting he's not getting. He's he he's

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Speaker 1: not like that fucking South Park episode where Randy is

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Speaker 1: fighting everyone again. He's not like that, but he's he's

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Speaker 1: having a beer at these places where you're like, should

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Speaker 1: he really be having a beer right now? Kind of

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Speaker 1: a yeah, okay, all right, Okay, I give it.

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Speaker 2: You mean destally gotten worse over the years, because like

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Speaker 2: I'm twenty five, so I you know, I've been done

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Speaker 2: and moved out, but I've got a little brother who

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Speaker 2: That's where I see it the worst in I guess

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Speaker 2: is because I'm like man like he was in my

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Speaker 2: h I was in his shoes, and I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 2: kind of grateful. He doesn't get the full scope of

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Speaker 2: it right now, because you know, he's young and he

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Speaker 2: doesn't know.

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Speaker 1: What's yet. What's to deal with your little brother? Do

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Speaker 1: you see him acting like your father in some way?

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Speaker 2: Oh, my dad and my brother are almost the exact

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Speaker 2: same person. Besides you drink. He's thirteen, but oh no, yeah,

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Speaker 2: they're they're the exact same person.

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Speaker 1: Interesting. Do you feel like he's mostly more like my mom?

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Speaker 2: Though?

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like you're like your dad in any

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Speaker 1: ways other than the drinking that in any ways, other

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Speaker 1: than just like drinking a lot? How do you feel

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Speaker 1: like you're like your dad?

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Speaker 3: Uh?

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Speaker 2: Definitely, my dad is like super bad, Like he has

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Speaker 2: really bad OCD and like in a weird way, like

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Speaker 2: I'm kind of messy and like sloppy, but like in

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Speaker 2: a weird way I I I kind of have the

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Speaker 2: same thing because like, whenever my dad like hyper focuses

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Speaker 2: on something, like, he will not finish or stop or

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Speaker 2: pause until he finishes or does whatever he's doing. And

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Speaker 2: I'm kind of the same way if I get super

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Speaker 2: hyper focused on something to a point where it's like

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Speaker 2: like I just tunnel vision, you know, mm hmmmm hmm. No, definitely, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's that's one of the big things. I definitely have

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Speaker 2: some of his like mannerisms, like he's a he's a

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Speaker 2: very sorry go ahead, I know you go ahead now.

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Speaker 2: I was just gonna say that, like some of his

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Speaker 2: mannerisms I definitely have, Like he's very like he'll talk

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Speaker 2: to anybody like he'll he'll he's easy to make or

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Speaker 2: go up making friends. And I feel like I'm the

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Speaker 2: same way. I can talk to anybody and just you know,

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Speaker 2: make a friend. What you like I said some of

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Speaker 2: the good things that I that I like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, hmmm, dude, it's interesting. I like I like this

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Speaker 1: subject because I think about it a lot in my

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Speaker 1: own life. Yeah, not to like whatever, I guess, just like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm pondering and in in in the process of pondering

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Speaker 1: this with you, because sometimes I'm like, and I don't

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Speaker 1: I don't know if this is inherent. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if this is healthy. But sometimes I look at like

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Speaker 1: the you know, like I was saying early, like a

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Speaker 1: look at my dad, and I'm like, I'm a carbon

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Speaker 1: copy of him, and I and I have all I

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Speaker 1: think I have all of his best qualities and all

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Speaker 1: of his worst ones too, And I think about that,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes when I'm like embodying the qualities where I'm like, shit,

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Speaker 1: I kind of think I know where this came from.

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Speaker 1: Part of me. There's a little part of me that

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Speaker 1: like uses that to like fucking like accept it, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? Yeah, you know, so there's a

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Speaker 1: little part of me uses that to like accept it

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Speaker 1: and maybe in some cases excuse it. And I and

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Speaker 1: I know, yeah I do that. Yeah, I think we

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Speaker 1: both do that ship and yeah, I accept it and

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Speaker 1: excuse it. But then I'm also like, ah, fuck, but

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Speaker 1: I gotta fucking I can't, you know, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean?

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Speaker 2: What you mean?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So I can ponder this with you, but I

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Speaker 1: would be lying if I said I had the answer,

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Speaker 1: And I'd be a hypocrite if I told you that

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Speaker 1: you gotta fight back. You know what I mean, you

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Speaker 1: probably should. You probably should, you probably should. I Yeah again,

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Speaker 1: I feel the same way where I'm like I'll do

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Speaker 1: something and I'm like, fuck this, this is me. This

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Speaker 1: is the part that I inherited from, Like I totally

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Speaker 1: see how I came to exist by looking at my parents.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, you can use it, yeah again, you can

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Speaker 1: use it as like an excuse. But I'm at a

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Speaker 1: part of me wants to believe in free will.

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Speaker 2: But exactly, but then genetics definitely takes a part.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know, Bro, we gotta try, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, especially if you but also you know,

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Speaker 1: also also you know what you know. Okay, I'll sell

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you this. And this is another thing, a

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Speaker 1: little bit that is like my experience with this is

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Speaker 1: and this is more like addiction stuff than it is

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Speaker 1: like genetic family shit or whatever. Yeah, is like, uh,

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Speaker 1: quitting doing something is like a thousand times easier if

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Speaker 1: you have a reason, right, Like I've had I've had

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Speaker 1: things I was addicted to. Uh where or fuck am where?

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Speaker 1: It's like I don't have a good reason to stop

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Speaker 1: doing this, Like I'm not, I don't have a good

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Speaker 1: reason to stop doing this, or I don't have something

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Speaker 1: else in front of me that's so all encompassing that

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Speaker 1: it forces me to be present with it. So I'm

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Speaker 1: not doing the thing. But you have a thing, and

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Speaker 1: maybe this is the north star of like, Okay, well

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Speaker 1: I want I I care a lot about investing in

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Speaker 1: my relationship with my wife, and I care a lot

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Speaker 1: about having a kid and giving my kid a good childhood.

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Speaker 1: So aut lest you have that. It's a because if

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Speaker 1: you were just like a single, if you were just

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Speaker 1: like a single twenty five year old guy with you know,

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Speaker 1: with like some random job, and you're just like a guy,

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Speaker 1: then it's like it's like, yeah, of course I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: get drunk all the.

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Speaker 2: Time, you know, No, yeah exactly.

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Speaker 1: But you gotta you have like a higher thing to

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Speaker 1: serve now, So I guess that's at least, yeah, that's something.

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Speaker 2: It definitely, it definitely is what makes me think about it,

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Speaker 2: I guess. And then another thing, just to you know,

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Speaker 2: you were talking about, you know, addiction, which that is

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Speaker 2: another thing that's like really bad. I'm my dad's side

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Speaker 2: of the family, you know, yeah, from him to his mother,

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Speaker 2: and like you know, they're all like have some type

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Speaker 2: of whether not necessarily drugs or booze, but like you know,

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Speaker 2: some type of thing and it's you know, addiction is

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Speaker 2: it's super super genetic at least from what I understand,

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Speaker 2: And like I've definitely like you know, when I was

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Speaker 2: in high school and college, you know, I was vighting

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Speaker 2: and you know, doing the zen and which I haven't.

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Speaker 2: You know, I don't do that stuff anymore, but holy crap,

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Speaker 2: do with that shit? Hard to quit? Mm? And then

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Speaker 2: another part of me was like, is it is it

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Speaker 2: hard because it's hard or was it is it? Does

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Speaker 2: it because of my you know, back to my dad

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Speaker 2: and I guess my lineage, my genetics is like is

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Speaker 2: it a genetic thing?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely is. But again I guess if we're

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Speaker 1: trying to not if we're trying to overcome that shit,

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Speaker 1: I guess it is helpful. It is helpful to know

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Speaker 1: where it comes from. I feel like, yeah, it's helped me,

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Speaker 1: It's helped me at least, and I'm I'm no, uh,

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Speaker 1: I'm not like I I mean this is true with

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Speaker 1: like everything on this podcast. Like I don't want to

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Speaker 1: speak as like some kind of like authority and getting

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Speaker 1: over stuff, but just like in the terms of like

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Speaker 1: feeling it, so like in the terms like feeling it,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I've felt like, oh, it's good to

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Speaker 1: have the information as to how I got here, and

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Speaker 1: that helps me and that helps me shame myself less,

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Speaker 1: like I feel a lot less, Like yeah, it does,

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Speaker 1: like like like it helps me like feel a lot

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Speaker 1: less shame because I because it puts me in a

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Speaker 1: position where I'm like, Okay, I at least kind of

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Speaker 1: understand how I arrived here, and it's through something that

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Speaker 1: I can kind of logically explain, not just because I'm

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Speaker 1: like some grand piece of shit and uh, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, and you can you can kind of say

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Speaker 1: that about anyone. But it's like, Okay, now I gotta

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Speaker 1: I can't keep I just I can't. I can't keep

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Speaker 1: using that. I gotta figure out how to fucking Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know what you mean, you know, deal with it.

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Speaker 2: But I think it also helps you know what you're

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Speaker 2: saying that it, I mean, it kind of helps like

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Speaker 2: if you have kids, you know you want you know,

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Speaker 2: your future, uh whatever, Like I guess it kind of

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Speaker 2: helps them too, to know where it came from. You know, well,

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Speaker 2: my kid's not just a piece of shit, you know, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know it's you know what I mean not. I

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Speaker 2: guess it's a terrible way to say it.

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Speaker 1: But no, when you're kid, when you're your kid's fourteen

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Speaker 1: and he starts sneaking Mike's hard lemonades out of the

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Speaker 1: free free like yeah, yeah, I think maybe. Okay, what

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Speaker 1: I was going to say is I think that the

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Speaker 1: understanding of how you came to a certain point, leading

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Speaker 1: to a removal of shame, it is helpful in some

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Speaker 1: way to getting to your uh, getting getting to what

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Speaker 1: you want because like if you're because if you're gonna

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Speaker 1: approach I guess, because if you're gonna approach this like logically,

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Speaker 1: like how do I logically beat this? The the shame

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Speaker 1: of it isn't helpful in that logic process, at least

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Speaker 1: in my opinion. But I'm also my opinions. Yeah we

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Speaker 1: also my opinion is uh bad because I'm addicted to

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Speaker 1: a lot of stuff.

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Speaker 2: But no, yeah, I guess.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know, man, what's your why? Okay,

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Speaker 1: let me ask you this. What's your wife say? Like,

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Speaker 1: is she like, yo, you gotta fucking stop doing this?

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Speaker 2: No, she doesn't really say much about it. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I definitely talk to her about this stuff, and like,

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Speaker 2: you know, especially with my dad, because you know, before

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Speaker 2: I met her, I was just kind of dealing it

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Speaker 2: with on my own. So it's been going on for

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Speaker 2: a while, you know, I met her and then after

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Speaker 2: dating and I think it was like right before we

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Speaker 2: met out with my parents, like hey, by the way,

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Speaker 2: my dad was a recovering alcoholic. Just FYI yeah, and

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Speaker 2: then you know, I just you know, it does help

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Speaker 2: to talk to her about it, but I mean she's

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Speaker 2: very supportive, but like she doesn't really like I don't

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Speaker 2: know how to say this. She doesn't shame me for anything,

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Speaker 2: because at the end of the day, I think I am.

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Speaker 2: I could just be overthinking stuff. Like I saidt the

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Speaker 2: end of the day, I'm twenty five, you know, I

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Speaker 2: like to drink on the weekends and have fun. So

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Speaker 2: like maybe it's something that I'm overthinking and making it

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Speaker 2: into something big and it's not. But i'd lie if

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Speaker 2: I'd say I don't think about it. Yeah, well that

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Speaker 2: if that didn't makes sense.

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Speaker 1: No, no, it makes perfect sense. Well, I mean, I well,

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Speaker 1: let's let's put it like this, at least you're thinking

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Speaker 1: about it. Like, I don't know when your dad was

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Speaker 1: like drinking when you were a kid. Do you think

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Speaker 1: he was even thinking about it?

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Speaker 2: Definitely, Well, I don't know. That's that's definitely something that

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Speaker 2: I haven't even thought about. But like I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I really couldn't tell you.

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Speaker 3: Hmm.

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Speaker 1: I think you'll be a I think you'd be a

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Speaker 1: good dad. You can't you give at least you give

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Speaker 1: a ship. That's the place to start.

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Speaker 2: I try.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what am I news? I don't do. I have

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Speaker 1: nears resolutions, They're all boring. You don't have any of them.

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Speaker 1: You are You're just gonna keep living your life.

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Speaker 2: Well, I kiss, Well, I got like it's it's the

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Speaker 2: same thing that everybody says, you know I am. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I've been. I feel like I go to the gym

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Speaker 2: pretty like frequently. I'm a a s Other thing I

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Speaker 2: think I get from my dad is my dad's like

387
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Speaker 2: huge into the gym, even if whether he's drinking or not,

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Speaker 2: He's always in the gym. It's something that I like

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Speaker 2: to do. And I've got some like muscle on me.

390
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Speaker 2: But like I'm trying to cut back and trying to

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Speaker 2: look skinnier. So I guess that's that is one is

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Speaker 2: lose weight, cut back, and that's that. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if it's an addiction, but dude, does that door dashing does

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Speaker 2: not help?

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Speaker 1: What do you? What are you been door dashing?

396
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 2: Did all doors anything? McDonald's. It's so hard not to.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of protein.

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Speaker 2: That's that's another addiction.

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Speaker 1: You got a lot of protein in there.

400
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of protein and fried crap I don't need.

401
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,680
Speaker 2: But that could be another good New Year's resolution, less

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Speaker 2: stor dashing.

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Speaker 1: Dude, I'm just gonna I don't know why. I'm just

404
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 1: something that someone else said on their podcast, but uh,

405
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 1: this guy, Stavros Halkias said something on his podcast once

406
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Speaker 1: about like getting to a fat guy, Uh, getting to

407
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 1: like a fat guy logic where you start eating chicken

408
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 1: tenders as a side oh life and like and the

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Speaker 1: and the excuse being that it's protein. I was like

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Speaker 1: that fucking I was like, damn, I've never felt more

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Speaker 1: seen in my life. Wyat If they're hm, hm, is

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Speaker 1: there anything else you wanna say or talk about before

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Speaker 1: we before we go?

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Speaker 2: No, man, I I definitely feel better talking like I

415
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 2: haven't really talked to anybody about this or you know,

416
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,159
Speaker 2: but other than just thought about it to myself. So

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Speaker 2: definitely appreciate it. Appreciate what you do for sure.

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Speaker 1: Man, Is there any other aspect of it you think

419
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Speaker 1: we didn't cover?

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00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,959
Speaker 2: I mean no, not really. I mean at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, you know, I love my old man.

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Speaker 2: I think he's a good person at hart He's never

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Speaker 2: done anything evil. But you know, there's there are some

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00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 2: aspects that I see myself in him or himself in

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Speaker 2: him and myself that I definitely don't want lingering around

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Speaker 2: in the future. And like I don't shame my father

427
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Speaker 2: for anything. You know, like I said at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day's my awesome.

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Speaker 1: Dude, Wyatt, thanks for Sharon Man, I appreciate this was

430
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Speaker 1: a health.

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Speaker 3: Conversation too, ye Happy New Years bye way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's interesting. I mean there's something we've talked about

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Speaker 1: in here before, but like, yeah, how do you how

434
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 1: do you not become your parents? And I it's it's interesting.

435
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,439
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm blessed enough to have a you know,

436
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 1: a lot of a lot of friends from childhood who

437
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,400
Speaker 1: like I know them and I know their family and

438
00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 1: every single every one of my fucking friends, I can

439
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 1: like pinpoint how they exist by thinking about their parents,

440
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 1: not every single one of them. Sometimes there's a bit

441
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,359
Speaker 1: of sometimes they're a black sheep. I actually know. I

442
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:13,119
Speaker 1: have a couple. I have a few friends where I'm like,

443
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 1: I don't know how you got became this, But I

444
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 1: have a lot of friends where I'm like, I know

445
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 1: exactly how you became this. Myself, I look at my parents,

446
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know exactly how I became what I am.

447
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 1: It's hard. It's one of those things that makes you

448
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 1: like question free It really is one of those fucking

449
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 1: things that makes you question free will. You're like, are

450
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 1: we just doomed genetically to become our parents? Or do

451
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 1: we have some say? I think ultimately believing in free

452
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 1: will is more empowering than believing in uh determinism. So

453
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead. I'm gonna go ahead and say

454
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 1: we help we have free will to try not to

455
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: become our parents. Hello, Hey, what's up?

456
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 3: Hey?

457
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:14,160
Speaker 1: What's your name?

458
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 4: Aubriel A brill?

459
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 1: Okay, you had a shitty twenty twenty five? Do you

460
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,880
Speaker 1: should we start there? Should we start more positive?

461
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 2: Whatever? Really? All right?

462
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 3: So I got arrested earlier in the year, so that

463
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 3: kind of put it like a damper on things. I

464
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 3: would say, for.

465
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: Sure, do you to talk about what you were arrested for?

466
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:49,639
Speaker 1: I don't have to.

467
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 3: Essentially, I got pulled over in a pretty bad area

468
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 3: and I didn't know this at the time, but I

469
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 3: have my medical card. I live in Florida, but I

470
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 3: let it lapse by like two weeks or something like that. Uh,

471
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,920
Speaker 3: So I got pulled over during that time, and I

472
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 3: didn't know that carts were a felony. So I ended

473
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 3: up getting a felony for like resin possession, which that

474
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,679
Speaker 3: really sucks, and then like three missing years along the

475
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:21,159
Speaker 3: lines of the paraphernalia and stuff. Yeah did wait, it

476
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 3: was the whole thing.

477
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: So okay, so you have a medical Okay, so, uh,

478
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 1: recreational marijuana is illegal in Florida, but you have a

479
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: med card, but the med card expired, so they charged

480
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 1: it for the carts.

481
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, so like the like a like like a dad pen.

482
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

483
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 3: So I had like it had my name on it

484
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 3: and everything already, but because it had lapsed, it was

485
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,879
Speaker 3: still a felony because I didn't have like an active

486
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 3: medical marijuana card.

487
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:50,920
Speaker 1: That's fucking lame.

488
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 3: No really, lamb really lamb initially, like because I didn't

489
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 3: and it didn't even like register to me that I

490
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 3: had it in the car, Like they asked me, they

491
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 3: were like, have anything in there, and like they tried

492
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 3: to search and I told the nose and they got

493
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,199
Speaker 3: a dog. It was a whole fucking thing. But I

494
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 3: was like, I think I only have like a quarter

495
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 3: or something like that because I completely didn't even register

496
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:14,680
Speaker 3: that was weed obviously. But yeah, they're like okay, well yeah,

497
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 3: so yeah, but no.

498
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 1: That's lam as fuck. It's so crazy to be in

499
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: like legal states where it's like you don't you don't,

500
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,879
Speaker 1: it doesn't even like register that it's illegal. And then like,

501
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 1: I mean, foreign countries is one thing, but like the

502
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 1: fact there are places in America where you can get

503
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 1: like fucking arrested for uh just having a cart is insane.

504
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:40,160
Speaker 1: Like so they put you in handcuffs.

505
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, Like no, Like they had me at the

506
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 3: front of the car initially, and then they were like okay,

507
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 3: we'll put your hands behind your back, and then the

508
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 3: red meee my Miranda rights and everything, and I was like, oh, okay,

509
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 3: so this is like actually happening, and I think, yeah,

510
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,880
Speaker 3: I was nineteen at the time. I think when that happened,

511
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,919
Speaker 3: I don't yeah, I don't think I was eighteen. It

512
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 3: was really scary, but they told me. They reassured me,

513
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,919
Speaker 3: like on the way to the jail, because that was

514
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 3: my first time only time getting in trouble. But they

515
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 3: were like, girl, like you should be good. Like I

516
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 3: just heard a story about somebody in our county who had,

517
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 3: like I don't even want to say it out loud,

518
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 3: but like had did some really heinous shit to whatever

519
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 3: and he had gotten out on probation. And I was like, okay,

520
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:25,680
Speaker 3: well that's great.

521
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,439
Speaker 1: Did you have to let me go to jail.

522
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, like I fully went to jail.

523
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

524
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 1: How long were you in jail for?

525
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 3: So I got I think it was on like a yeah,

526
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 3: I think it was on a Sunday. I was into

527
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 3: like seventeen hours I sat in booking. That was the

528
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 3: worst fucking part. Honestly, jail was fine, like the girls

529
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 3: were fine, but booking was like actual psychological torture. Like

530
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 3: I just sat there for ten hours staring at a

531
00:26:58,040 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 3: fucking wall, couldn't even tell the time, And then there

532
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 3: was one point. Oh, this shit got me so bad.

533
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 3: I was like, is it almost seven o'clock yet or

534
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 3: like seven am whatever, because that was the time that

535
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 3: they said that was gonna have my arraignment. And he

536
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 3: was like yeah, and I was like really and he's

537
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 3: like no, And I was like, are you fucking serious?

538
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 3: So what would y'all have done if I hadn't said really?

539
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 3: Like what? I okay?

540
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's hilarious. Oh hmmm, so okay. Jail was Wait,

541
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: the girls were fine, Like you were chatting it up

542
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: with the people in the jail. What was that?

543
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 2: Like?

544
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 1: Who would you meet?

545
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 3: So there was this one girl she was a year

546
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 3: younger than me, and she was in there for DTA.

547
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 3: She was really cool. They helped me put like, uh

548
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,280
Speaker 3: thee One of the girls fucked up their comb, like

549
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 3: you take if you have like nose piercings or anything

550
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 3: like that, you take a piece of the comb and

551
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,639
Speaker 3: you put it through your nose so it doesn't close.

552
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 3: So they gave me one of those. They let me

553
00:27:55,640 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 3: try crack powder whatever it was, which is like basically

554
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,880
Speaker 3: fucking mint powder that you put in your drink, but

555
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 3: you like to put it on your chips and shit

556
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 3: and it tastes really good.

557
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 1: Wait is it actually as a crack?

558
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 3: No, No, like it doesn't have crack, but they called

559
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 3: it that.

560
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,159
Speaker 1: Okay, I was about to say, seventeen hours in jails

561
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: a little early to be, you know, doing jail crack.

562
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 3: No, that actually would have been nuts. Yeah. I don't

563
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 3: do none of that. But yeah, there's some older ladies.

564
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 3: There was two younger ones. Uh so it was me.

565
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:30,959
Speaker 3: I was on the top bunk. Then there was two

566
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 3: girls who had their beds on floor, but those were

567
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 3: the younger ones, and then there was like three of

568
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 3: their older ladies.

569
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 1: And you were there for one night. Yes, damn, that's

570
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 1: crazy they put you in that.

571
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 2: What's so? What so.

572
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 1: Holding you're just kind of staring at a wall and

573
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: then jail You're like, it's like camp. It sounded kind

574
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 1: of like summer camp.

575
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 3: Essentially.

576
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

577
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 3: Basically, honestly, it wasn't that bad. It was just like

578
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 3: knowing that freedom was not there was kind of surreal. Yeah, like, actually,

579
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 3: like you're not a person anymore.

580
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, so it's not actually like summer camp

581
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 1: at all.

582
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

583
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: So you said you didn't feel like a person. Oh, yeah,

584
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: so when you got out what happened after that?

585
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 3: I had to get a lawyer, So that was a

586
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 3: whole thing. It was like forty five hundred dollars and

587
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 3: essentially I went to I did go to court, and

588
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 3: they gave me diversion, which was like a first time

589
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 3: offender program. But I encountered like every single possible obstacle

590
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 3: you could encounter in that program while I was in it,

591
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 3: which is like kind of my own fault in a way.

592
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 3: But I have like really bad anxiety. Like I'm sure

593
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 3: you can hear it, like I'm still it's kind of

594
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 3: crazy that I'm talking right now. I'm still shaking. But yeah,

595
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 3: I ended up I have really bad P anxiety, So

596
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 3: I ended up not being able to piss and like

597
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 3: that fucking stuff. So like I don't add, yeah, you.

598
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 1: Were holding it in for the whole time.

599
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 3: Well no, No, I meant like afterwards, like because you

600
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 3: have to do P tests and stuff. So I said, oh, oh,

601
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 3: oh yeah, so you have to do like P tests

602
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 3: and ship like that, and that was not fun. So

603
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 3: I ended up having to be in for like an

604
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 3: extra three months on top of the year that they

605
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 3: already wanted me in. There. So yeah, I'm out now,

606
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 3: feel good, feel good, free birds.

607
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 1: Wait, I'm fuck. I'm sorry if I'm miss hearing this first,

608
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 1: but you were you were aware for three months?

609
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 3: Oh sorry? No, like they had me in the program

610
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 3: for a year, I'm limit, and then because I had

611
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 3: sucked up with the testing and everything. Yeah, yeah, so

612
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 3: they added on.

613
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 2: Three extra months because of that, which fucking sucks about.

614
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 1: How are you doing now?

615
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 3: Great? Actually, I just moved out of my dad's I'm

616
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 3: living at my nana's now, so that's been really cool.

617
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 3: My parents got divorced like two years ago. I've been

618
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 3: living with him, but he just has not been the

619
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 3: happiest camper since. Yeah. So, finally got out of that situation.

620
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 3: And I'm also twenty so just feels good to not

621
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 3: be there.

622
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: I guess you mentioned in this text to me that

623
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: you said you you found your childhood crush that you've

624
00:31:54,040 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: been looking for online for nine years. What does that mean? Yes,

625
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: I'm curious.

626
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 3: Okay, So, essentially, my dad was in the military growing

627
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 3: up and I got stationed. So one of the places

628
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 3: we were when I was in fifth grade it was Mayport, Jacksonville,

629
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 3: and I had this best friend who while the entire

630
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 3: time I lived there and we just got really close

631
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 3: to whatever. So then we ended up moving, and he

632
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 3: ended up moving too because his dad was also in

633
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 3: the military, and I basically he had no social media

634
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:36,280
Speaker 3: presence for the entirety of until he got out of

635
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 3: high school, and I'd spent like at least twice a year,

636
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 3: like twice a year looking him up on social media,

637
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 3: which like I hadn't done that for any but like

638
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 3: any of the other people that I'd met over the years,

639
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 3: like as consistently as I did with him. I don't know,

640
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 3: it's just crazy, like you just have a connection with somebody,

641
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 3: even when you're still little, not little, but like even

642
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 3: when you're so young, and like it's you just know

643
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 3: something's real. I guess, I don't know, Like I thought

644
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 3: that was cool. So then I finally found him and

645
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 3: he was he joined the Navy too, and it was

646
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 3: really freaking crazy because he's he's currently stationed in the

647
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 3: same at the same base that we met at when

648
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 3: we're kids. WHOA, And he's actually, yeah, so he's here

649
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 3: right now, actually, like I'm in my hometown and he

650
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 3: drove three hours so that was really cool.

651
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 1: WHOA. Interesting. So you guys met at a bed at

652
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 1: this base that your dad was at, and then fucking

653
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 1: years later he's stationed there now.

654
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, like really crazy? How did you find Okay?

655
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 3: So I knew his first and last name, and like

656
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 3: when I tell you I'm a d one stalker, like,

657
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 3: I'm actually a d one stalker. So I went through

658
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 3: every social media platform he could possibly go through, and

659
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 3: I would look up people with his name and I

660
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 3: would I would message them basically, like twice a year,

661
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 3: I'd message a whole bunch of random people who had

662
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 3: his name and hoped they were him.

663
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,280
Speaker 1: Wow, that's actually pretty romantic.

664
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a lot of dedication for sure.

665
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 1: So hmmm, I have a lot of questions about this.

666
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 1: How long had it been since you guys had connected

667
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:24,919
Speaker 1: with each other?

668
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 3: So I hadn't seen him since I was ten, and

669
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 3: then reconnected when I was like nineteen, so nine years.

670
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 3: We hadn't spoken for nine years?

671
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:43,359
Speaker 1: Wow? And so how long were you searching for him?

672
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 1: You said you said like twice a year you would

673
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:47,400
Speaker 1: do this.

674
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:50,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, like twice a year or something like that. Just

675
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 3: see what's up.

676
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: How did it feel when you finally found him?

677
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 3: It was fucking crazy. It was nuts, Like genuinely, I

678
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 3: was like, no fucking way, like this isn't real. And

679
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 3: he had full like he remembered me, and that was

680
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 3: also even crazier. Oh sorry to burp, but I don't know.

681
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 3: It's just like, honestly, it still feels really surreal. I

682
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 3: so we've been talking for like a year now and

683
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 3: we finally like made it official on the sixth, So

684
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 3: that was all fucking nuts, Like fucking nuts.

685
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 1: Wait, this is so romantic. This is like a beautiful story.

686
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 1: I'm very invested. What was the first meeting?

687
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 3: Like, so, okay, so he drove down here from Jacksonville

688
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 3: also something to know kind of I have PTSD from

689
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:50,240
Speaker 3: getting arrested, so I just don't like driving long distances.

690
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 3: So he came down here and he had never been

691
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 3: to the Bush Start in Tampa or yeah, down here,

692
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 3: so it's like, oh my god, like we should go.

693
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 3: So he drove down here and I drove us to

694
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 3: Bush Gardens and it didn't start out like a day

695
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:12,280
Speaker 3: at all. I don't know it was. It wasn't awkward,

696
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 3: but it was like I could definitely tell that he

697
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,919
Speaker 3: was flirting with me. But he's also Okay. So he's

698
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:21,480
Speaker 3: like actually autistic, like clinically autistic, so he doesn't pick

699
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:24,879
Speaker 3: up on social cues very well. And like I had

700
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 3: already kind of pursued him a little bit previously, but

701
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 3: it didn't seem like he was interested. So I just

702
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 3: like completely laid the fuck off it, and I was like,

703
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:35,840
Speaker 3: just him being in my life is enough, so whatever.

704
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 3: But by the end of it, like I don't know,

705
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:43,240
Speaker 3: like we laid in bed, like because I got a hotel.

706
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 3: So we got back from Bush Gardens and he was

707
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 3: slurting and I was just kind of being standoffish, and

708
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,920
Speaker 3: we watched like three movies on his laptop and he

709
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 3: let me pick every movie, and then he fell asleep

710
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 3: and I literally sat there like smelling his breath for

711
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 3: fucking an hour before I find I fell asleep. And

712
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 3: then I woke up at like five a m or something,

713
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 3: and like he was cuddling me, and it was just

714
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 3: like it was so fucking crazy. It was so crazy.

715
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 1: Wow. So it started out okay, So so that night

716
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: when you, yeah, you got you were smelling his breath,

717
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 1: He's cuddling you. It be the romantic interest was was

718
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: there from the from the from the second beginning.

719
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 3: Yes, I just I didn't want to come off that

720
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 3: way because I wasn't sure if like that was just

721
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 3: his personality or it's like I was reading things wrong or.

722
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, m.

723
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:46,400
Speaker 1: What was it about him that you remembered from when

724
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 1: you were ten that made you so dedicated to finding him?

725
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 3: It's really corny, but he just really is so like thoughtful.

726
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:03,880
Speaker 3: He was just so thoughtful and so observant and his

727
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 3: perspectives on the world. Like I'm also not trying to

728
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 3: sound egotistical, but I just I feel like I was

729
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:16,840
Speaker 3: a much more denteent child than most like my My

730
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,240
Speaker 3: earliest memories go back to like one and a half

731
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 3: two years old, and he's kind of similar in that

732
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,880
Speaker 3: way where he's like always been a more introspected thinker.

733
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 3: And I don't know, like I also don't know if

734
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 3: you're like spiritual or whatever. But when like just when

735
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 3: you know, you know, like when you meet somebody and

736
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 3: you feel like your soul knows that person.

737
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 1: M sure, sure, hmm, I don't know.

738
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 2: I'm so.

739
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 3: I said it might be a little delusional.

740
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 1: But no, I don't think anything about this is delusional.

741
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 1: This is like I know, this is a beautiful story.

742
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think what else I want to know

743
00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:05,319
Speaker 1: about it? Were you uh uh okay, here's one. So

744
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 1: you hadn't seen him since you guys were kids, right

745
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 1: like when you saw him like as an adult, were

746
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: you like instantly like attracted to him again like physically yes?

747
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 3: Yes, And that was another thing I honestly wasn't.

748
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 1: Expecting that, Yeah, because you because did any was any

749
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: part of you like, oh shit, he could have like

750
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,240
Speaker 1: grown up chopped.

751
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. It just it's one of those things where it

752
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 3: didn't even matter, like realistically, like once I actually seen him,

753
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 3: like it really didn't matter even if he had grown

754
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,279
Speaker 3: up chopped, Like I still would like him anyway. It's

755
00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,360
Speaker 3: just the person that he is.

756
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 1: Really damn that's so nice. Holy shit. Hm hmm So no, no, no, no, no,

757
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 1: that's that's awesome. Wow. Okay, So he lives three hours

758
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: away at the base where you guys met, and yeah,

759
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,320
Speaker 1: what's your what's what's your guys' future?

760
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 4: Looking like you think, well, I don't, I don't really know.

761
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,200
Speaker 3: I mean I feel like it's a little early, but

762
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 3: within the next year or so, I mean hopefully it

763
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 3: would be not long distance anymore. Realistically, he doesn't live

764
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 3: that far. But he also he was talking about because

765
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 3: he's been talking about whether or not he wants to

766
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 3: re enlist because his contract is over in twenty twenty seven.

767
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 3: I think so, like literally next year. But if he

768
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:49,320
Speaker 3: gets orders to come down to Tampa or to stay

769
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 3: in Jacksonville, then he will re enlist. But if not,

770
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 3: I don't know, but he was talking about me going

771
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 3: up there. When he gets into part himself, was like,

772
00:40:58,640 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 3: I don't know.

773
00:40:59,120 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 2: That's fucking crazy.

774
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 1: Wow, man, So you really Uh yeah, that's so wild.

775
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 1: That's so wild. Mmmm what what do you?

776
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 3: So?

777
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 2: What do you? What do you?

778
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:19,880
Speaker 1: What do you do for? Like work and stuff? Like

779
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 1: what's your kind of like life situation.

780
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 3: It's pretty lame. I'm not gonna lie to you, Like

781
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 3: when I got arrested, like this is definitely an excuse,

782
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 3: but it put it to me. It put like a

783
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:37,360
Speaker 3: hold on everything in my life. Like I felt like

784
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,920
Speaker 3: once I had that over my head, like I couldn't

785
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 3: do anything else basically, So I'm still working. I've been

786
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 3: working at the same job for like two years. I

787
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 3: work at an Italian restaurant as a host. So that's

788
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 3: pretty still very fucking easy job, and I get Hella

789
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 3: hours because nobody knows how to work nowadays.

790
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: You should work as a fucking private investigator.

791
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 3: I really should. I've thought about that. I don't know

792
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:13,839
Speaker 3: about with the felony on my record, but maybe.

793
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 1: Hmm, what's your name again, Abrielle, Abrielle, Yeah, thanks for

794
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 1: sharing your story, Aubrielle. This is very interesting. I want

795
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 1: to feel. I feel like this is one of those

796
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 1: things where I'm like, wow, this is so fascinating and

797
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 1: human to me, especially in a like like you have

798
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 1: like a fairy tale like drama movie romance going on

799
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 1: in a world where everyone's just trying to you know,

800
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,439
Speaker 1: not get ghosted from a dating app. You know, it's

801
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 1: like it's cool.

802
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I always kind of yeah, I

803
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:57,320
Speaker 3: don't know. You can't like, you can't not romanticized life

804
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:59,760
Speaker 3: really gets really fucking depressing very quickly.

805
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should romanticize life, every aspect of it, you know,

806
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 1: waking up, opening a door, you know, being Yeah, wait.

807
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:14,760
Speaker 3: In my mind at the thing, everything like life really

808
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 3: is a fucking gift and that you should make the

809
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 3: most of it too. Just make the fucking most of it.

810
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,439
Speaker 3: Like if you can do something. Do it? Really? What's

811
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:26,400
Speaker 3: the worst that could happen?

812
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 1: Abriel? Is there anything else you want to say to

813
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go?

814
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,320
Speaker 3: No, that's it. Have a great night, Thank.

815
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 1: You, Abria'll have a good one, have a go Bye

816
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 1: bye bush Gardens. I love bush Gardens. I like that story.

817
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 1: Trying to think if there's anyone that I'm trying to think,

818
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 1: if there's anyone that I fell in love with when

819
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 1: I was ten that I could reach back out to

820
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: via this podcast, there's not. I guess that's the thing

821
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:09,879
Speaker 1: about our I remember my dad fucking telling me this

822
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 1: once about Facebook. He's like, your generation will never understand

823
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 1: like going no contact for like fifty fucking not fifty,

824
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:23,399
Speaker 1: but like, you know, thirty twenty years not seeing anyone. Yeah,

825
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 1: this is a unique thing to our generation because like

826
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 1: the old the generation, they go like, you know, twenty

827
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 1: thirty years without seeing anyone, and then on Facebook, all

828
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 1: of a sudden, everyone they reconnect. Whereas like our generation,

829
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 1: it's like we've been if I know you, if I

830
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 1: met you at a party once or whatever, you might

831
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 1: be in my life every day for the next sixty

832
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 1: years of me looking at my phone. That's what we're

833
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 1: bringing back in twenty twenty six. We're gonna bring back mystery.

834
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 1: We're gonna bring back a rekindling misconnections. I don't wanna.

835
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,399
Speaker 1: Let's do the opposite. If you meet someone at a

836
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 1: party or the thing or whatever, and you had a

837
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 1: nice conversation, I don't like that even I don't. I

838
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 1: don't if I met you, I don't.

839
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 2: I don't.

840
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 1: I don't need you to be in my life forever now,

841
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 1: I don't you know what I mean, Like if I

842
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 1: meet you at like a random thing, we don't have

843
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 1: to be in each other's lives forever via via the internet.

844
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,239
Speaker 1: If I if I want to find you, or you

845
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 1: want to find me, you need to remember my You

846
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 1: need to go. You need to go as hard as

847
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:37,400
Speaker 1: this lady did to find this person. And that's the

848
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,360
Speaker 1: funny thing too to me about this is that she

849
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: didn't like try to find a bunch of She messaged

850
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 1: tons of people with this guy's name until one of

851
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 1: them responded. That's fascinating. I hope this lady uh gets

852
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 1: married and has whatever her you know, life dream is

853
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 1: with this guy. But I hope it all works out.

854
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 1: It has I mean, that was so much fucking work.

855
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 1: There's no way it doesn't work out.

856
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 3: Hello.

857
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 1: Hello, what is your name?

858
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 3: My name's Rachel.

859
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 1: What's up, Rachel? What's going on with you? Has life?

860
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:17,399
Speaker 2: Oh?

861
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 3: Well, you know, new year, trying to be a new me,

862
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 3: just you know, punching in, punching out. Went to the

863
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 3: club last night. Lost my apartment key.

864
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,720
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes the things you lose at the club

865
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,800
Speaker 1: are the price you pay for the memories you made

866
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 1: at the club, which doesn't necessarily mean that those memories

867
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 1: were good. Sometimes sometimes losing your phone is the price

868
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 1: you pay for the horrible memory of losing your phone.

869
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

870
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 3: You're so right, You're so right. I mean I did

871
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:51,919
Speaker 3: have a good time. I think it was worth it.

872
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:53,800
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm going to try to get another key

873
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 3: on Mondays, so we'll see how that goes. I just

874
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,879
Speaker 3: hope they go charge for like two hundred dollars.

875
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 1: Can I can I ask you about the thing you

876
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 1: texted me about?

877
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:03,399
Speaker 2: Yeah?

878
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 3: Sure?

879
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 1: Uh so you texted me and you said, can we discussed?

880
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 1: Can we discuss how it's almost an insult to be

881
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: a fat chick these days? I've been thinking about it now,

882
00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 1: what do you mean? What do you mean by that?

883
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 1: Because the way you phrased it, I'm curious.

884
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I probably should have phrased it a little better.

885
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:28,880
Speaker 3: I guess what I'm kind of trying to say is,

886
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 3: so I'm an overweight twenty two year old and just

887
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 3: the way I interact with people, even if it's not

888
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 3: you know, usually being overweight comes down to attractiveness and

889
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 3: somebody being attracted to. But what I was thinking is

890
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 3: the way people interact with me. It's almost like I've heard,

891
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 3: you know, insults left and right, big whoop, but just

892
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:55,839
Speaker 3: little interactions. I'm like, oh, okay, it's not so much

893
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 3: how I say or excuse me what I say or

894
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 3: how I say it, but just interactions are so different,

895
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:05,279
Speaker 3: you know, especially like going to the club last night,

896
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,760
Speaker 3: I had like a really weird interaction and I was like, okay,

897
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:12,400
Speaker 3: I didn't do anything, but me being overweight kind of

898
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 3: changed our entire you know, conversation. Does that kind of

899
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:18,359
Speaker 3: make sense? Yeah?

900
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: First of all, yeah, that all makes sense. What was

901
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 1: the interaction?

902
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 3: Yes, so I'm an extrovert. I'm single. I saw a

903
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 3: guy and I thought we were kind of exchanging glances

904
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,280
Speaker 3: because he was playing pool and I was just sitting

905
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:34,760
Speaker 3: with my friend and I thought we were exchanging glances,

906
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 3: and I said, okay, I'm gonna go talk to him.

907
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:41,759
Speaker 3: Why not? And I go up and I say, hey,

908
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:43,520
Speaker 3: you look like you look like you're having a fun

909
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 3: time playing pool. Do you want to play with me next?

910
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 3: Or something along those lines. I don't know. I had

911
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 3: way too many Robin Cookes, but he was like he

912
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 3: looked me, you know, up and down that like horrible

913
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:57,319
Speaker 3: mean girl, up and down, looked again. Now, why would

914
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:05,319
Speaker 3: I want to play with you? And I was like, oh, okay.

915
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,560
Speaker 1: That's like that's like a POV. The worst she can

916
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,000
Speaker 1: say is no type of thing.

917
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got the other end of it. And that's

918
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 3: not the first time that kind of thing has happened.

919
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 2: You know.

920
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 3: I usually go up and talk to people because it

921
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:22,440
Speaker 3: doesn't really seem to go the other way. But I've

922
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 3: gotten that many times where it's just been like, Okay,

923
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 3: you don't really care about you know, oh, just do

924
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 3: even if you're not interested in me. Like, I get it,

925
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:35,319
Speaker 3: I totally got it. But to kind of make it

926
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 3: about something that I don't want to say I can't control,

927
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 3: but something that I'm working on is a little strange

928
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 3: to me.

929
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I'm not. Actually, I'm happy to have this

930
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 1: conversation because it's you know, it's one I deal with

931
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:54,399
Speaker 1: as well. But let's I mean this first is okay, Well,

932
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 1: first of all, you're doing everything correct because you're being

933
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 1: an extraverted person willing to put yourself out there and

934
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:05,799
Speaker 1: talk to folks. So I have to imagine that, Yes,

935
00:50:06,120 --> 00:50:08,799
Speaker 1: you have these interactions that sometimes don't go that well,

936
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,719
Speaker 1: but I have to imagine that just on pure numbers game,

937
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:14,800
Speaker 1: if you are constantly putting yourself out there, that you

938
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 1: have had like success with that.

939
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've definitely had some kind of success with that

940
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 3: from time to time. But you know, it's also like,

941
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 3: is it maybe something else? Like I know, I'm a

942
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 3: very straightforward, honest person. I know that maybe like a

943
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:40,279
Speaker 3: big turn off. I say exactly what's on my mind.

944
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 3: I gotta stop doing that. But you know, I'm twenty two,

945
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 3: Like I said, I've only had two boyfriends, one for

946
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:52,800
Speaker 3: four months, one for one month, and I'm like, something's

947
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,400
Speaker 3: not adding up. I try to be I like to

948
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 3: think or at least from you know, feedback from you know,

949
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 3: my friends and my family. Oh you're such a nice person.

950
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 3: So what's what's not clicking?

951
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm hmmm. Well, I mean, first of all, having

952
00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 1: two boys, that first of all, I the the having

953
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 1: two boyfriends one for four months. That whatever you just

954
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:16,880
Speaker 1: described is normal.

955
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 2: So I don't.

956
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 1: I don't think you need to compare yourself to anything

957
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 1: outside of yourself. Uh you know what I mean, Like,

958
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't. You're whatever, whatever metrics you you

959
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,400
Speaker 1: feel like you have to achieve or stand up to,

960
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 1: you know, I think, Uh, I mean, it's probably not

961
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:38,560
Speaker 1: good to compare yourself to any metrics. But if you were,

962
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 1: you're you're doing great, you know, if you are, if

963
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 1: you if you are trying to metric yourself up two boyfriends,

964
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:47,359
Speaker 1: that's pretty good. Pretty good.

965
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I guess like comparing. I probably shouldn't compare,

966
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:55,200
Speaker 3: but I guess to my friends and like my family.

967
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 3: You know, my parents got married at my age. My

968
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:01,719
Speaker 3: brother's getting married or got married a year ago, you know,

969
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,919
Speaker 3: when he was my age. So it's like, oh crap,

970
00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:06,040
Speaker 3: I'm kind of falling behind.

971
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 1: Well as your twenty two brother. You can you're not

972
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 1: falling behind if you're not getting married right now, well,

973
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:15,880
Speaker 1: all right, so this is an interesting topic because I

974
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 1: deal with it a lot. Like, yeah, there's a lot

975
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 1: of times i've like whatever, been at a party or

976
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 1: at a whatever, and I just I feel I mean,

977
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 1: I don't know about you. I don't want to project

978
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:32,839
Speaker 1: anything about my experience being overweight on yours, but I'll

979
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 1: just you know, talk about mine. It's like, I don't

980
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:41,399
Speaker 1: I feel pretty just like I feel like pretty uncomfortable

981
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:43,919
Speaker 1: in my body when I'm overweight, and I don't really

982
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: feel confident and I don't and I kind of know

983
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 1: that it's like affecting the conversations and the interactions that

984
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:56,520
Speaker 1: I have, but you know, and it bums me out sometimes.

985
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:58,880
Speaker 1: But it's the like the golden goose of it in

986
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 1: my that's the wrong phrase, but whatever, the north star

987
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:04,839
Speaker 1: of it in my mind is like okay, well it's

988
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:09,920
Speaker 1: something in my control, you know kind of. So I'm like,

989
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 1: all right, well, if I want to not, you know,

990
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 1: deal with this, it's like the uncomfortable reality, and I don't,

991
00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:21,719
Speaker 1: and I don't. I don't again, I don't want to

992
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 1: uh uh uh what is the word project anything about

993
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,880
Speaker 1: my experience onto yours. But in my experience I'm like,

994
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, fuck, you know, people can say this,

995
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:36,319
Speaker 1: and people can say that, and people can say, oh,

996
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 1: you'll find someone like all this stuff, but in my head,

997
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck, man, the reality is that I'm less

998
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 1: attractive for me because I'm overweights and I don't like that,

999
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 1: and I, you know, I just want to like fucking

1000
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 1: fucking deal with it. You know, I don't how do you?

1001
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 1: What do you what's what do you make of your experience?

1002
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 2: Like, how do you?

1003
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:59,320
Speaker 1: Because because I I I sometimes I'm like, you know,

1004
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:01,080
Speaker 1: I I'm like, I don't know if the way I

1005
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 1: think about this stuff is healthy or if it's you know,

1006
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:06,480
Speaker 1: what it is. So I'm curious what your you know,

1007
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:07,239
Speaker 1: feelings are.

1008
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:12,359
Speaker 3: I mean, like I think, I know I shouldn't use

1009
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:16,840
Speaker 3: you know, nasty comments as maybe a motivator, but you know,

1010
00:54:17,040 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 3: it kind of helps me. The reason I'm overweight, I

1011
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:22,000
Speaker 3: probably shouldn't blame it is just because I had like

1012
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 3: a horrible depressive episode for two years. I didn't take

1013
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 3: care of myself and now I'm like reaping the consequences

1014
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 3: of my sewing. So you know, I'm just kind of

1015
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:35,440
Speaker 3: taking it as like, you know, should I should I

1016
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:39,040
Speaker 3: change myself because of negative comments or because it'll make

1017
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:42,319
Speaker 3: me feel better about myself. At the end of the day,

1018
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,040
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter what other people think can be right,

1019
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 3: It just matters if you care about yourself. And I'm

1020
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 3: that like, if I had to put a percentage on it,

1021
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 3: I'm like at a seventy percent, but I swear if

1022
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:55,439
Speaker 3: I lost some weight, I'd be like ninety ninety five percent. Yeah,

1023
00:54:56,040 --> 00:55:00,279
Speaker 3: So you know, it comes down to I would like

1024
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 3: to get into a relationship again, because although it doesn't

1025
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:06,960
Speaker 3: sound like it, and you know, I come off as like,

1026
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 3: you know, ooh, the strong, like fighting girl, you know,

1027
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 3: deep down I am a lover. So it's just kind

1028
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 3: of like, do I have to really change myself in

1029
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:18,840
Speaker 3: order to get that. It doesn't seem totally fair. You know,

1030
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:22,880
Speaker 3: I'm a firm believer that anybody on this planet can

1031
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 3: easily be an eight out of ten or nine out

1032
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:27,920
Speaker 3: of ten, or shoot even ten out of ten. You know,

1033
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 3: it all just depends on how you take care of yourself,

1034
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:35,600
Speaker 3: you know, what you do, the effort, you know. So

1035
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:39,600
Speaker 3: it's it's kind of that debacle of should I change

1036
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:41,640
Speaker 3: because of other people or because of myself?

1037
00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 1: Okay. Here, yeah, that makes one hundred percent sense and okay, okay,

1038
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 1: as of as of January twenty twenty six, this is

1039
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:56,439
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm open to alternative whatever's on this because

1040
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:58,839
Speaker 1: I think about it. Here's here's what I think is true,

1041
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 1: at least for me. It's like, if you want to

1042
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 1: be in a relationship and you're overweight, you just have

1043
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 1: to be okay with being in a relationship with somebody

1044
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 1: who is as overweight as you, which is like, which

1045
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:17,920
Speaker 1: is to me, the most fair thing ever. I mean

1046
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 1: sometimes yeah to me, I'm like, to me, I'm like,

1047
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:23,120
Speaker 1: you know, I came to that realization, and I'm like,

1048
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:25,359
Speaker 1: that is so fair.

1049
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:30,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, like my type is all over the place.

1050
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:32,720
Speaker 3: But my biggest thing is you can be like overweight

1051
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 3: or extremely underweight, but as long as you take care

1052
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 3: of yourself, that's really all that matters to me. Sure, sure, sure,

1053
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,840
Speaker 3: Like I know, especially for larger people, it takes a

1054
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:44,759
Speaker 3: little more effort, you know, just to you know, look

1055
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,879
Speaker 3: a little better or small a little better. So that's

1056
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:48,839
Speaker 3: my biggest thing is as well as you take care

1057
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:51,759
Speaker 3: of yourself, I'm pretty open to almost like any body

1058
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:53,160
Speaker 3: type or really anybody.

1059
00:56:54,320 --> 00:56:57,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean yeah. With me, I'm like, when I

1060
00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 1: think about this stuff, I'm like, Okay, you can't. Like,

1061
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:04,719
Speaker 1: I think it's unfair if I were to ask for

1062
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:10,719
Speaker 1: something out of somebody that I don't have, you know,

1063
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 1: So it's like, well if I'm not, like, I don't know. Yeah,

1064
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:17,959
Speaker 1: that's that's that's that's that's kind of how I feel.

1065
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 1: But to the point of like should you do this

1066
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:22,080
Speaker 1: for yourself or should you do it because of mean comments?

1067
00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 1: I mean, of course you should do it, uh for yourself.

1068
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 1: And again I'm just gonna keep talking. I don't I'm

1069
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 1: not trying to project anything about my experience onto yours.

1070
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 1: But for me, I'm like, oh fuck, I don't like

1071
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 1: the way I feel, uh when I'm fat, you seem

1072
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:41,400
Speaker 1: like I mean, for you, it's like you're naturally confident

1073
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,800
Speaker 1: no matter what your body looks like it sounds, which

1074
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 1: is like amazing, right, So that's that's that's great. I

1075
00:57:49,280 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 1: envy that. I think that's great because I also think

1076
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,160
Speaker 1: I also I know I said I said the thing

1077
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:57,360
Speaker 1: before about like, uh, you know the ways in which

1078
00:57:57,400 --> 00:58:00,680
Speaker 1: being overweight restricts you, and I do think in the

1079
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 1: realm of like relationships and whatnot. Like physical attractiveness is

1080
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 1: like the the big thing or whatever, but like you

1081
00:58:13,120 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 1: can fucking go pretty far off of confidence, you know,

1082
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:18,520
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.

1083
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 3: I mean I think that's what kind of got my

1084
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:23,840
Speaker 3: boyfriends or even like my friends, is just going up

1085
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 3: to them and be like, okay, we're friends now, Like.

1086
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, just be like what's up?

1087
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:31,200
Speaker 3: Because actually that's how I met all of my friends.

1088
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:34,400
Speaker 3: Need just y happened to them and they, I guess

1089
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 3: liked it. So I was, so can I ask you this?

1090
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:40,360
Speaker 1: I mean again, like why do you think you are

1091
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 1: having problems like finding a boy finding a boyfriend? Everything

1092
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:50,919
Speaker 1: you've expressed to me so far, yes, make me wonder

1093
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 1: why you why you have problems?

1094
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,960
Speaker 3: I mean maybe it comes down to I I've heard

1095
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 3: that I come on too strong or that I'm not cocky.

1096
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:04,760
Speaker 3: What's the word I'm looking for, just kind of a

1097
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 3: little strong headed, So like I don't take any disrespect.

1098
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 3: You know, regardless of you know, what size anybody is,

1099
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:15,320
Speaker 3: they will still you know, start to be like a

1100
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:19,440
Speaker 3: total crazy feminist here. But like you know, guys, we'll

1101
00:59:19,480 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 3: just like go up and like touch you, and it's

1102
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 3: like I instead of being like.

1103
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:23,080
Speaker 2: Ha ha ha.

1104
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 3: Like away, I start like swinging, so it might come

1105
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:29,960
Speaker 3: off as like I'm the mean girl you know in college.

1106
00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:33,280
Speaker 3: So my best friend's name is also Rachel as well, ironically,

1107
00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:36,200
Speaker 3: and our nicknames in college where she was the nice

1108
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:40,560
Speaker 3: Rachel and I was the mean Rachel. So I'm thinking,

1109
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 3: you know, maybe I just come on too strong, or

1110
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:47,440
Speaker 3: maybe it's just how I dress, or I don't know,

1111
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 3: I'm weird hobbies. Maybe people think I'm a crazy person

1112
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:53,880
Speaker 3: because I'm you know, I'm a country girl. I dress

1113
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:56,880
Speaker 3: in like slannel and jeans, and I look maybe a

1114
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:57,480
Speaker 3: little scary.

1115
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:03,280
Speaker 1: Well come I ask you this. I mean, one everyone

1116
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 1: naturally attracts someone like I. I and and tell me,

1117
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:10,880
Speaker 1: tell me if I'm wrong. But I have to assume

1118
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 1: that there are there are romantic prospects that are coming

1119
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:19,720
Speaker 1: into your orbit, not only regardless of these things, but

1120
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 1: because of these things. There's a lot of people. You know,

1121
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:24,760
Speaker 1: for every personality but you know, I mean, you know,

1122
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:30,560
Speaker 1: for every personality type that turns many people off, it

1123
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 1: attracts many people. You know, the personality type that you're

1124
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 1: describing of being strong, milled and not taking ship, Yeah,

1125
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 1: sure might turn some people off, but for some people,

1126
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:45,560
Speaker 1: it might be exactly the kind of person they're looking for.

1127
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:49,440
Speaker 1: I have people like that not entered your orbit in

1128
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 1: some way, shape or form.

1129
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 3: Well, I I've been on lots for lots of baits, right,

1130
01:00:55,880 --> 01:00:58,360
Speaker 3: I usually like after the second one or after we

1131
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 3: talk for a while, it kind of, you know, papers off.

1132
01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:04,840
Speaker 3: Like I literally just went on like four baits with

1133
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 3: a guy and then we were talking and then all

1134
01:01:06,840 --> 01:01:08,240
Speaker 3: of a sudden he goes to me, and I was

1135
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:10,920
Speaker 3: like reading back my messages, I'm like, did I say something?

1136
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 2: You know?

1137
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:13,640
Speaker 3: And it's hard to like ask your friends did I

1138
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:15,520
Speaker 3: say something wrong, because they're always going to take your side,

1139
01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 3: But it's like, what did I say?

1140
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:19,440
Speaker 1: What did I do?

1141
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 4: Did I?

1142
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 3: Like? What what happened? Is he like scared that, you know,

1143
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:30,000
Speaker 3: my hobbies or something, or you know, like make him weird?

1144
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:32,640
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm always like insecure about like what

1145
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:34,640
Speaker 3: I do because people are like, oh, you're a heck,

1146
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 3: but you know, I don't really care. But maybe some

1147
01:01:37,840 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 3: people aren't into that once they kind of find.

1148
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 2: Out about it. M hmm.

1149
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 3: Well, or something is like intimidating because one of the

1150
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:52,440
Speaker 3: number one questions that I get asked in the bar

1151
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 3: when people are like looking at me is why do

1152
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:56,680
Speaker 3: you have a how do you have a giant scar

1153
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,240
Speaker 3: on your arm? And I have to explain that I

1154
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 3: work at I work at Barnes. That's pretty much all

1155
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:06,600
Speaker 3: I do. And I get attacked by animals all the time.

1156
01:02:06,680 --> 01:02:08,480
Speaker 3: I got bit by a pig. I got kicked by

1157
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:09,920
Speaker 3: a horse. That's how I broke my rib. I got

1158
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,000
Speaker 3: thrown off by a horse. That's how I broke my tailbone.

1159
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:15,640
Speaker 3: And maybe sort of like okay, creepy, you.

1160
01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 1: Know, well it's a fund. I think this is another fund.

1161
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:22,919
Speaker 1: And and actually even like whatever taking like this isn't

1162
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:30,400
Speaker 1: either taking like the uh whatever usual metrics of whatever

1163
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:33,400
Speaker 1: is involved in dating. It's like, I think you admit

1164
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:37,840
Speaker 1: to yourself that you're like a peculiar person of some kind.

1165
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,280
Speaker 1: I don't know you've I don't know you very well.

1166
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 1: This is in me saying this is stuff like you know,

1167
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:45,120
Speaker 1: if you kind of like it. See it seems like

1168
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:47,440
Speaker 1: you've evaluated yourself and been like, you know, I'm a

1169
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:53,480
Speaker 1: peculiar person. I have this personality that maybe turns people off.

1170
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:55,720
Speaker 1: I have these weird hobby, have this you know whatever,

1171
01:02:56,080 --> 01:03:03,440
Speaker 1: and it's it it undeniably, I think makes dating harder

1172
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:08,479
Speaker 1: if you're like a kind of a peculiar individual, because

1173
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 1: it means that you need to find another very peculiar individual.

1174
01:03:13,320 --> 01:03:13,440
Speaker 3: Uh.

1175
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:16,680
Speaker 1: And the if you're on a dating app or you're

1176
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 1: going through life by the very nature of what it

1177
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 1: means to be peculiar, most people are not. So the

1178
01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:29,480
Speaker 1: math is not exactly on your side with this one.

1179
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:36,160
Speaker 1: But the good news is that you know, when peculiar

1180
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:43,240
Speaker 1: people find each other, they form really deep and beautiful connections.

1181
01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 1: And from what I know about you, it seems like

1182
01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:48,680
Speaker 1: you're no you you have zero shyness when it comes

1183
01:03:48,840 --> 01:03:53,920
Speaker 1: to uh flinging yourself into the into the world. So

1184
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:57,240
Speaker 1: you've got you have a lot of things that are

1185
01:03:57,280 --> 01:04:04,920
Speaker 1: currently a word for you accept uh patience.

1186
01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:10,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. I think also, you know how people react

1187
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:12,680
Speaker 3: to me. I don't want to, you know, self diagnosed

1188
01:04:12,760 --> 01:04:14,720
Speaker 3: by any means, but I definitely think I have some

1189
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:18,040
Speaker 3: anger issues where not if it's somebody rejects me, I'm

1190
01:04:18,040 --> 01:04:21,800
Speaker 3: going to lose my mind, but if they say something

1191
01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:26,440
Speaker 3: that is maybe a little distasteful, I do get very defensive.

1192
01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:28,080
Speaker 2: And I'm like, what did you just say?

1193
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:28,800
Speaker 4: Like, excuse me?

1194
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:32,480
Speaker 3: And my friend Rachel says, I like turn my head

1195
01:04:32,520 --> 01:04:35,200
Speaker 3: like a son cohe like, I'm about to attack those

1196
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:40,840
Speaker 3: But you know, but that's just another part of like

1197
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:42,640
Speaker 3: saying I don't know if that's like an anger issue

1198
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:44,480
Speaker 3: thing or just saying what's on my mind thing, or

1199
01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:48,120
Speaker 3: how I have literally no tolerance for any disrespect or

1200
01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:51,840
Speaker 3: anything like that. But you know, maybe it's also just

1201
01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:53,960
Speaker 3: a sign of the times. You know, I know it's

1202
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:58,440
Speaker 3: not just me who's struggling with being single or you know,

1203
01:04:58,520 --> 01:05:00,600
Speaker 3: chronic loneliness. I know it's not s me. I know

1204
01:05:00,720 --> 01:05:04,440
Speaker 3: it's guys, girls, skinny people, or people like.

1205
01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:06,040
Speaker 2: It's everyone.

1206
01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 3: So maybe it's just all of the stones put together

1207
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,439
Speaker 3: is kind of conjuring into me not having any luck.

1208
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 1: Hm hmm. Well, Also, I don't know, man, I mean,

1209
01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:23,360
Speaker 1: like you're I think you know, four dates only if

1210
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:27,120
Speaker 1: you like you're like nothing nothing about your nothing about

1211
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:29,400
Speaker 1: what you have told me so far about your experience

1212
01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:34,920
Speaker 1: dating seems like it is particularly out of the normal.

1213
01:05:34,960 --> 01:05:37,400
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a difficult gambit. We can't all be

1214
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:40,640
Speaker 1: like we can't all be like that last lady.

1215
01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:45,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was thinking to myself, I was listening to that,

1216
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:47,920
Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, that's such a beautiful story. I

1217
01:05:48,040 --> 01:05:49,160
Speaker 3: was like, what's that happening?

1218
01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:52,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, we can't all be like that Last Lady, which

1219
01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:54,800
Speaker 1: is a bummer. Which is a bummer because I feel

1220
01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:58,200
Speaker 1: like we were all it's a bummer because we were

1221
01:05:58,240 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 1: all kind of grown up. I feel like being conditioned

1222
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 1: into thinking everything was gonna end up for us like

1223
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,560
Speaker 1: that Last Lady. You know what I mean, all the

1224
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:09,080
Speaker 1: fucking movies and everything. I think I probably I think

1225
01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:11,800
Speaker 1: I've said this on the podcast. I think I've said

1226
01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:13,600
Speaker 1: this on the podcast before, But like all those fucking

1227
01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:18,080
Speaker 1: Seth Rogan movies, like they like they they give you

1228
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:21,120
Speaker 1: a message where it's like if you're like, if you're

1229
01:06:21,320 --> 01:06:23,720
Speaker 1: like you're in high school, you're watching those movies, and

1230
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:27,160
Speaker 1: they the message of the movies to the all is

1231
01:06:27,280 --> 01:06:31,120
Speaker 1: like if you're fat in high school, It's like, if

1232
01:06:31,160 --> 01:06:33,920
Speaker 1: you're fat and you're a little funny, you're gonna have

1233
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,400
Speaker 1: a hot wife. That's the message. It's it's like it's

1234
01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 1: like convincing everyone that they're like endowed to have a

1235
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:43,240
Speaker 1: hot wife, even if they're if they're like fat and

1236
01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:47,480
Speaker 1: a little funny. It's weird. Reality doesn't.

1237
01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:49,480
Speaker 3: A lot.

1238
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:54,720
Speaker 2: Mmmmm, so maybe.

1239
01:06:54,800 --> 01:06:56,760
Speaker 3: But I mean, I'm hoping that kind of falls together.

1240
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:57,640
Speaker 3: But I don't know.

1241
01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:03,080
Speaker 1: But that's that's you know, I guess I'll let to

1242
01:07:03,400 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 1: I guess I'll just reiterate what I said before, which

1243
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:07,760
Speaker 1: is that I think if you're a little peculiar, the

1244
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 1: game is going to be more difficult for you. But

1245
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:13,240
Speaker 1: right I don't know. There's nothing more to do but

1246
01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:17,360
Speaker 1: continue to fling yourself out in the universe hoping that

1247
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:22,000
Speaker 1: you'll get lucky. And the good and the good news

1248
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 1: is is that the more you fling yourself out into

1249
01:07:24,680 --> 01:07:28,200
Speaker 1: the universe, the luckier you tend to get.

1250
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:32,080
Speaker 3: I think, Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna give up.

1251
01:07:32,160 --> 01:07:35,080
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna I'm trying not to be discouraged. It's

1252
01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:37,680
Speaker 3: a little hard sometimes, but you know, I still go

1253
01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:39,680
Speaker 3: out with my friends, you know, with my hobbies. You know,

1254
01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:43,120
Speaker 3: I do meet a lot of new people. So you know,

1255
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:45,400
Speaker 3: I'm still gonna try. I'm taking a break from dating

1256
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:49,120
Speaker 3: apps for a whole other reason, but you know it,

1257
01:07:50,040 --> 01:07:51,960
Speaker 3: I think it just comes down to I just got

1258
01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:56,400
Speaker 3: to keep trying, you know, and eventually it'll hopefully kind

1259
01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:57,040
Speaker 3: of fall together.

1260
01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:00,080
Speaker 1: Rachel, is there anything else you want to say the

1261
01:08:00,120 --> 01:08:01,520
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go.

1262
01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:06,400
Speaker 3: Just everybody, take care of yourself and happy.

1263
01:08:06,160 --> 01:08:08,480
Speaker 1: New Year, Happy New Year. Thank you Rachel.

1264
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:10,680
Speaker 3: You're welcome the bye.

1265
01:08:13,640 --> 01:08:16,320
Speaker 1: That was Rachel. This has been the Therapy Gecko podcast.

1266
01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:19,160
Speaker 1: I think this was a good episode. I enjoyed this.

1267
01:08:20,240 --> 01:08:21,760
Speaker 1: I feel like I could relate to a lot of

1268
01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:24,639
Speaker 1: the callers. I hope you guys could relate to the callers.

1269
01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:31,439
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed the conversations. This is the end

1270
01:08:31,479 --> 01:08:33,559
Speaker 1: of the podcast. I'm just gonna rant for I don't

1271
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:35,160
Speaker 1: know if I have anything to say in this rant.

1272
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:38,720
Speaker 1: This is the first episode of the New Year. I

1273
01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:40,679
Speaker 1: think it went pretty well. I think that was classic

1274
01:08:42,080 --> 01:08:44,200
Speaker 1: Therapy Gecko affair.

1275
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:47,439
Speaker 2: I don't know.

1276
01:08:47,680 --> 01:08:50,160
Speaker 1: I read all the comments. I'm a psychopath, So if

1277
01:08:50,200 --> 01:08:54,559
Speaker 1: you have anything to say, say something in the comments

1278
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:58,200
Speaker 1: I get because I'm sometimes I need a sometimes I

1279
01:08:58,280 --> 01:08:59,960
Speaker 1: need to look at something, So I look at the

1280
01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:07,400
Speaker 1: comments on this Spotify page or YouTube or whatever, or

1281
01:09:07,479 --> 01:09:11,400
Speaker 1: don't do whatever you want. Go to Therapy Geto tour

1282
01:09:11,520 --> 01:09:16,120
Speaker 1: dot com. I'm gonna go on tour this year. I'm

1283
01:09:16,200 --> 01:09:21,200
Speaker 1: excited to do that for the fourth time. I have

1284
01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:23,960
Speaker 1: more documentary style videos that I'm going to work on

1285
01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:27,040
Speaker 1: that I'm excited about. That'll be good. I'm going to

1286
01:09:27,120 --> 01:09:33,599
Speaker 1: try to I'm going to try to be less overweight.

1287
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:35,120
Speaker 1: I think that's a good idea.

1288
01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:38,000
Speaker 2: That was it.

1289
01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:40,639
Speaker 1: That was the podcast. We talked to the dad guy,

1290
01:09:40,920 --> 01:09:47,439
Speaker 1: we talked to the online boyfriend lady. We talked to

1291
01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:51,800
Speaker 1: the lady about dating. I felt like this was a

1292
01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:57,360
Speaker 1: good gambit of of of stories and calls. I enjoyed it.

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01:09:57,880 --> 01:09:59,880
Speaker 1: I enjoyed having them. I hope you enjoyed listening to them.

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01:10:00,600 --> 01:10:03,479
Speaker 1: This has been this is too long. We're keeping it in.

1295
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:04,960
Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna ramble like this at the end

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01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,640
Speaker 1: of the episode again, unless you guys want me to,

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01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:11,080
Speaker 1: or even if you do want me to, I'm still

1298
01:10:11,160 --> 01:10:13,160
Speaker 1: not gonna do it. Okay, I should stop talking now

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01:10:13,320 --> 01:10:17,719
Speaker 1: and and and end. The episode goes on the line

1300
01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:22,120
Speaker 1: making your phone calls every night. Never Beacon goes to hide.

1301
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:24,360
Speaker 1: You're just teaching you about the end of your life.

1302
01:10:24,800 --> 01:10:26,920
Speaker 3: But he's not really an expert.