1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,440 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:22,439 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. Buggle up and hold 7 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you here. It is 8 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 1: a Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject my ungrateful young employee. 9 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:33,159 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a relatively successful entrepreneur and I 10 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: have had a lot of help along the way. I 11 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: believe in returning the favor and helping other minorities advance 12 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: anyway I can. To that end, about a year ago, 13 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,920 Speaker 1: I hired a twenty six year old black female that 14 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: graduated at the top of her class. I set her 15 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,520 Speaker 1: up with an excellent starting salary and her own office. 16 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: I noticed she was not much of a team player 17 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: and worked better alone, and that was fine with me 18 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,640 Speaker 1: because she was very smart and didn't need a lot 19 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: of directions. At times. I noticed that she lacks the 20 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,960 Speaker 1: emotional and intelligence that is required in business, and it 21 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: was hard for her to keep her game face on 22 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 1: when she got flustered. Despite that, she's one of my 23 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: best employees, so I added her to a global teams 24 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,960 Speaker 1: meeting that we had weekly. I'm impressed with how much 25 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 1: she's advanced in one year, and so is the team. 26 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: On the video call, one of our biggest investors acknowledged 27 00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 1: her as the newest member and congratulated her for being 28 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:37,119 Speaker 1: the youngest person to ever join the team. Surprisingly, she replied, 29 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: I appreciate that, but I've been doing way more than 30 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: I was hired to do, and I'd like to discuss 31 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: an increase in salary and a promotion. The call got 32 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: quiet and everyone looked uneasy. She's been with me for 33 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: one year and she was awarded the highest entry level 34 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: salary of anyone. I broke the silence by telling her 35 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: that we'd have to discuss that later. I was a 36 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 1: paul that her attitude, and I would love to get 37 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: her viewpoints on this? Do I allow? I would love 38 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: to get I'm sorry, I would love to get your 39 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: viewpoints on this. Do I allow her to grow with 40 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: my company? Or turn my focus to one of my 41 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: mail interns that always has a great attitude and is 42 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: willing to learn please advise. This is not personal, right, 43 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: this is business. You said yourself. She's smart, she graduated 44 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 1: at the top of her class, she's one of your 45 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:34,239 Speaker 1: best people at the job. How is she ungrateful? Can 46 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: you not afford to give her a raise? I know 47 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 1: you said you were relatively successful. I mean, but can 48 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: you not afford to give her one? If she's deserving 49 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 1: and a promotion that she asked for? Is that it? 50 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,080 Speaker 1: If it is, I think you should say that because 51 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: I say, let her be great and don't get mad. 52 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: Because she believes she deserves a raise. I mean, she 53 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: is who she is. Her timing might be a bit 54 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: off because you're judging how long she's been at the 55 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 1: company and what you've done for her already, meaning you 56 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:08,239 Speaker 1: gave her, you know, a big entry level starting salary. 57 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,359 Speaker 1: But it sounds to me like she understands her value 58 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: and her worth to this company and she wants to 59 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: be compensated for it. I'm not sure while you're so 60 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: upset that she wants a raise, I think you said 61 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: she's a valuable employee. You said that throughout the letter. 62 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: She's young and hungry, she wants to get paid. You 63 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: can talk to her and tell her this shouldn't have 64 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 1: been discussed at that time if you like. But I 65 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: like her confidence, I like her boldness, I like her fearlessness. 66 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 1: Every company I think needs people like this. I think 67 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: you should celebrate her. Like you said, get her viewpoint, Well, 68 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: you said get our viewpoints on this. But see where 69 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: her head is too on this situation. Why she picked 70 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: that moment to say it? You know, but I don't 71 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: think there's a law against asking for a raise. And 72 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: the alarming thing in the letters that she should you 73 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: turn your focus on your mail in turns that always 74 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: have a great attitude and are willing to learn. What 75 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 1: does that have to do with anything? Are you upset 76 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: that she's a female and she asked for a raise? 77 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: I mean, really, what are you really saying here, Steve? 78 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 1: I think she deserves everything she should get. Steve, My 79 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,599 Speaker 1: question is simple, my ungrateful young employee, Is this a 80 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 1: woman writing the letter or a man? I assumed it 81 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: was a man, but it might be a woman, so 82 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,480 Speaker 1: I thought it was a man too. So now let 83 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,480 Speaker 1: me give you a peek inside the mind of a man, 84 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 1: because if this is a man, which I thought it 85 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: was too, something else is going on here. See I 86 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: read between the lines. You're successful entrepreneur, had a lot 87 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: of help long the way you returned to favor and 88 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: all this helping minorities anyway you can by a year ago, 89 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: you hired a twenty six year old female that graduated 90 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: at the top of a class. You set her up 91 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 1: with an excellent starting salary, her own office. I noticed 92 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 1: she was not much of a team player. Okay, that's 93 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: usually not good, and she worked better alone. And that 94 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: was fine with me because she's very smart and didn't 95 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,480 Speaker 1: need a lot of direction. Okay, so you let that 96 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:28,359 Speaker 1: go at times. And here's the key to this whole letter. 97 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: I noticed that she I noticed that she lacks the 98 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: emotional intelligence that is required in business, and it's hard 99 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 1: for her to keep her game face on when she's flustered. Okay, 100 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 1: she's young, but you gave her her own office. You 101 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: gave her this great salary. She twenty six, so what 102 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: was it? Dog? So now you know I'm just watching 103 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,040 Speaker 1: you now. Despite all of that, she's one of the 104 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 1: best employees. So you added to her to a global 105 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: team meeting we have weekly. She's advanced. You impressed by 106 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: the advanced on one video call one of our biggest investors, 107 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 1: acknowledged her newest member, congratulated her for being the youngest 108 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: person ever joined the team, and then she replied, I 109 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,080 Speaker 1: appreciate that, but I've been doing way more than I 110 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 1: was hired to do it. I'd like to discuss an 111 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 1: increase in salary and promotion on the global team meeting. Yeah, 112 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:37,359 Speaker 1: your biggest investor, and that's what she says. Houston, we 113 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,479 Speaker 1: have a problem. I'll tell it to you when we 114 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: come back. All right, Steven, hang on part two of 115 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 1: your responses coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. 116 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 1: Today's subject my ungrateful young employee. Will get back into 117 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening show, all right, Come on, Steve, 118 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject my grateful young employee. 119 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,159 Speaker 1: So now, as a woman that wrote the letter, we 120 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,800 Speaker 1: just learned this on a commercial break from people who 121 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:09,480 Speaker 1: pull the Strawberry letter. So it's a woman, which don't 122 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 1: change much. Oh, you hire this black female, You've been 123 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 1: a successful anthnoon. You try to give back to minority 124 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 1: to help her move along. You hired his sister, twenty 125 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 1: six year old black female graduate top of her class. 126 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: You set up with an excellent starting salary in her 127 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: own office. Note that she wasn't much of a team player. 128 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: She worked better alone and was fine because she's very 129 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: smart and don't need a lot of direction. That's what 130 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: you said. But to me, here is again the whole 131 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: meat behind this letter. At times I noticed that she 132 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:46,480 Speaker 1: lacks the emotional intelligence that is required in business, and 133 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: it's hard for her to keep her game face on 134 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: when she gets flustered, a typical sign of a young person. 135 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: She's just young. She young, She don't know the game face. 136 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: She lacks the emotional business intelligence. Okay, I got it now. 137 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: Despite that, she's one of your best employees. Okay, so 138 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: obviously you need some more employees. So I added her 139 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: to a global team meeting that we had weekly. You're 140 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 1: just impressed with how much she's advanced in one year, 141 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: and so is the team. Everybody's impressed with her. But 142 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: on the video call, one of your biggest investors acknowledged 143 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: her as the newest member and congratulated her for being 144 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: the youngest person ever joined the team. And this was 145 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 1: her response. You say, surprisingly, I appreciate that, but I've 146 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: been doing way more than I was hired to do 147 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: and I like to discuss an increase in salary and 148 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: a promotion. The call got quiet. Everybody looked uneasy. You 149 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:53,760 Speaker 1: know why because this person that lacks the emotional intelligence 150 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 1: that is required in business, and it's hard for her 151 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 1: to keep a game face on when she flusted. She 152 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,000 Speaker 1: flusted and frustrated after year working, and now she let 153 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:11,680 Speaker 1: it blurt out on the global team call. That's how 154 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 1: you thought it was the best way to get a raise. 155 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? You put everybody on the phone 156 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: call uneasy. She has been with me for one year 157 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 1: and she was awarded the highest entry level salary of anyone. 158 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 1: And then you broke the silence by telling her that 159 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 1: we'd have to discuss that later. And you know why 160 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,680 Speaker 1: you had to tell her because then you said I 161 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:43,439 Speaker 1: was appalled at her attitude. Well why are you surprised? 162 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: You said that she lacks the emotional intelligence that is 163 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: required in business and it's hard for her to keep 164 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 1: a game face on when she gets flustered. She got flustered. 165 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: She cracked. She figured, now I'm asked for a raised. 166 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,839 Speaker 1: What I did right after these com limits on a 167 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 1: global team that's stupid. See this lack of emotional intelligence 168 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 1: in business is how you make business, Because what I've 169 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: learned in business is not always the smartest people. It's 170 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: the best people to work with. She don't work well 171 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: with others. She works best by herself. You know, I 172 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 1: can't have this crazy ass person talking in big ass 173 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: meetings for me because they don't work well with others. 174 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,200 Speaker 1: And then she blew it. Now she says, I would 175 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 1: love to get your viewpoint on this. Do I allow 176 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,079 Speaker 1: her to grow with my company or turn my focus 177 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: to one of my male interns that always has a 178 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 1: great attitude and willing to learn. I don't think it's 179 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: a matter of turning your attention to anybody. I think 180 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 1: your determination has to be is this person worth continuing 181 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: on with? First of all, I would point out to 182 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:02,959 Speaker 1: her the absurd and the ridiculousness of you popping off 183 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,440 Speaker 1: at a damn global meeting asking for a raise your 184 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 1: selfish ass, Hey, Steve, when you I want to ask 185 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: you a question, when is a good time to ask 186 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,360 Speaker 1: for a race when you're not on the global team call. 187 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like there's ever a good time. That's 188 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 1: my point. It's any times a good time to ask 189 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: for a raise. If you ask for an appointment to 190 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: see your bass, you have every right to go and 191 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,480 Speaker 1: ask for a raise. I ain't knocking it. I ain't 192 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,160 Speaker 1: knocking her wanting to raise. I'm knocking the way she 193 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 1: went about doing it. You do that in corporate America, 194 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 1: shut a meeting for your selfish ass? Are you stupid? 195 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:47,439 Speaker 1: But now wait a minute, are you stupid? And now 196 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,679 Speaker 1: you then threw out this here in front of everybody else, 197 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 1: like ain't nobody else at the company working hard? So 198 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,320 Speaker 1: now you got people looking at you sideways, which she 199 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 1: don't care because she don't work well with Look, pull 200 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: up to the side and say, listen, now I'll know raisers. 201 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 1: At this point you were giving the highest century levels 202 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 1: and you've only been here for a year. This is 203 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,679 Speaker 1: where the company is right now, And I understand something. Now, 204 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,680 Speaker 1: you have to you have to put your time in. 205 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:22,439 Speaker 1: Sometimes young people want it all right now, a lot 206 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: of time. Now, this woman then built this company. She 207 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 1: ain't got no idea, I no idea how long it 208 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 1: took to build. And I'm gonna tell you from firsthand 209 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 1: experience what I can't stand doing. And I've been working 210 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: in building my company and you come in because you 211 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,120 Speaker 1: see me making this, you want this too. Well, that 212 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: ain't how to work. Homes there working, No, I don't 213 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 1: think that. And do you chestizard, do you say, if 214 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 1: you say it again that your art or something that 215 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 1: you lay that down this again in the global meeting. 216 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: There's consequences to come up here. I mean absolutely to her, Yeah, 217 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: you know you talk to her all right. Post your 218 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 1: comments on today's Strawberry Letter Steve Harvey FM on Instagram 219 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 1: and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. 220 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: Coming up Junior Sports Talk at forty six after. Right 221 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:20,439 Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show