WEBVTT - Dope Labs Archives: The Science of Celebration - Lab 035 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.400 There has been dancing in the streets outside my house. 0:00:05.200 --> 0:00:08.720 Yes, the celebrations have begun. Everybody is super happy. We 0:00:08.760 --> 0:00:11.520 live right outside of DC and the streets have been 0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:12.799 flood dead. 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:15.360 Yeah, the streets are definitely talking. It just feels like 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:17.840 everybody sent around a memo and said, this is what 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:19.560 you do when the election results are in. 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:21.840 How did everybody know to go outside with pots and pans? 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:23.880 That was my thing? I was like, wait, I didn't 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:25.400 know that. I didn't know that that was part of 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:26.079 the celebration. 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:26.599 Right. 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:28.800 All I got is like a mini cow bell. 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:29.920 Girl, Why do you have that? 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:34.600 Gotta have more cow bell. 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:37.839 I'm TT and I'm Zachiah and from Spotify. This is 0:00:37.920 --> 0:01:06.319 Dope Labs. It's official. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:11.639 our new president and vice president elect. And everybody, well 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:15.840 maybe not, everybody is super excited. And as soon as 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:20.800 the news broke this past Saturday, everybody just hit the streets. 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:24.400 And when you have the excitement of the election results 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:28.959 coupled with the upcoming holiday season, it made us really 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:32.759 curious about why we as humans celebrate things. 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:35.560 I think everybody went outside and made some noise, but 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:38.039 that doesn't really align with my method of celebrating. When 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:41.880 I celebrate, the first thing I look for is champagne. 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:44.440 And for me, it's usually a meat lover's pizza, which 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:45.920 is what I did to celebrate. 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:49.880 That was the first thing on my mind. I was like, 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:52.280 I'm very happy. 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.480 My friend loves a meat lover's pizza, y'all. 0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:58.040 I do, I really do. 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:02.760 Is really interesting, this whole culture around celebration, and it 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:04.960 couldn't come at a better time because we're right on 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:08.160 the cusp. We're just following Spooky Season, and no matter 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:10.920 what Mariah Carey tells you, the first jump from Spooky 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:12.880 Season is not directly to Christmas. 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:16.359 Folks in my neighborhood already have up there Christmas lights. 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.000 I'm like, when are we supposed to put up our 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:23.120 wreaths and our cornucopia displays. I wanted to give me 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:24.800 a little eucalyptus wreath or something. 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:28.760 Yeah, I think there's still time. There's definitely still time. 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:31.800 But the issue is is that we are still in 0:02:31.880 --> 0:02:35.160 a pandemic. Don't forget. The pandemic isn't over just because 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:37.640 you're over it, and a lot of people are not 0:02:37.800 --> 0:02:39.799 going to be doing the kind of traveling that they 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:42.560 were doing in previous years, So a lot of people 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:46.000 are opting for friends giving. My friend Zakia also had 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:48.440 a very good idea about having friends giving at her 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:51.080 place with a very select few group of people, and 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:54.280 then everybody else can just zoom in or instagram live in. 0:02:55.120 --> 0:02:57.920 That's the only way I'm going to feel okay smoking 0:02:57.960 --> 0:02:59.880 the turkey, you know what I mean. I don't want 0:02:59.919 --> 0:03:03.400 to be out there thinking about both inhaling smoke particles 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:06.639 and viral particles too. Like I just it's going to 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:09.520 be too much, but that will give me a little 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:12.799 bit of the best of both worlds. Friends Given has 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:15.160 been an amazing I know we didn't create it, but 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:16.720 it feels like it was made just for us. 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.440 I know, because we love celebrating. 0:03:19.480 --> 0:03:23.840 We like celebrating everything from big things to small things. Yes, 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:28.160 in this episode we are talking all about celebration and 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:29.919 the sociology behind it. 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:35.480 I think it's important to really acknowledge celebrations exist across cultures. 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:39.600 They may look different, but almost every culture has some 0:03:39.640 --> 0:03:45.400 type of celebratory time or season or event, and there 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:49.280 are some cultural universals, so behaviors that or values that 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:51.880 show up in different cultures. They might not necessarily be 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:53.760 the same, but we see them all the time. So 0:03:55.160 --> 0:04:00.160 dancing or food, or rituals or different religious practices are 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:05.000 cultural universals, and they're all often elements of various types 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:08.960 of celebrations. So it can feel like celebration itself is 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:12.200 a hallmark of human behavior. So with that being said, 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:17.400 let's jump into the recitation. What do we know? 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:17.719 TT? 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:20.760 Well, we know right now there are a lot of 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:23.800 people that are celebrating, including us, Yes. 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:28.080 And we also know there seems to be this gravitational 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:36.120 pool to celebration, being outside, loud and with snacks and drinks. Yes, 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:38.919 we need libations. And I think, you know, I just 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:42.720 want to understand what's driving us to celebrate. I think 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:44.000 I want to know why. 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:48.599 It's food always something that folks want to bring out 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:51.400 when it's time to celebrate. Is that something that's just like, 0:04:51.560 --> 0:04:54.080 is it a cultural thing? Is it all cultures and 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:58.120 even beyond just us celebrating? This feels like some spontaneous 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:02.440 celebration in the fall. There's that season of celebration right 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:06.559 after spooky season where if people celebrate Thanksgiving around that time, 0:05:06.960 --> 0:05:10.200 heading into all of the winter holidays, I feel like 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:11.840 I can almost smell it in the. 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:13.719 Air, you know. 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:18.040 But if I didn't grow up celebrating these holidays, would 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:19.120 I still feel that same way? 0:05:19.400 --> 0:05:19.599 Right? 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:22.360 Maybe it's a part of our subconscious mind to feel 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:24.560 like we're supposed to be celebrating right now. And then 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:27.760 I want to know friendsgiving is a new thing, but 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:28.600 I don't. 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:29.840 Know whose idea. 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:32.760 Yeah, this was, it's a genius idea, but I want 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:35.239 to know whose idea it was and when it got started. 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:39.039 I think friendsgiving is the perfect example as we start 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.599 to think about celebration on a whole right because you 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:44.320 don't have to believe any one certain thing to participate 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:47.480 in friendsgiving. It also feels like it's a little more 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:49.719 low stakes than some of the other holidays, so you 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:53.000 don't have to jump in and sprinkle cinnamon all over 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:56.560 your house if you want to participate in friendsgiving either. 0:05:57.160 --> 0:06:01.240 Friendsgiving feels more like a come as you are, rather 0:06:01.320 --> 0:06:03.719 than you got to get dressed up with your auntie 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:06.520 and uncle and answer all their annoying questions. 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:09.000 I don't want to wear a sequin top. So I 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.400 think we're ready to move into the dissection and understand 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:15.760 more about celebration so this dissection is a little bit different. 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:19.400 The guest expert today, Well, it's us welcome. I think 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:22.400 we're professional celebrators, and I think it's a great time 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:25.479 for us to just hold that mirror up and explore 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:28.280 some of our own behavior around holidays. 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:31.640 We're talking all about celebrations, and I think a great 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.920 place to start would be talking about a celebration kind 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:39.039 of like Friendsgiving, where it is a new form of 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:43.360 celebration and I think a lot of people are starting 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:44.440 to do it. 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:47.040 So let's start with the history of Friendsgiving. It's basically 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:50.000 a spin on Thanksgiving. And when we look back at 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:54.039 Thanksgiving is basically a big feast. And so your want 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:58.520 for a meat lover's pizza, my want for mimosa. That's 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:01.799 gathering around food, and that's not new. Almost all cultures 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:05.360 are considered kind of cultures of celebration, and Thanksgiving was 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:07.520 centered on the fall harvest, similar to how we talked 0:07:07.520 --> 0:07:10.080 about cuffing season and having babies with the spring harvest. 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:13.920 It's kind of this cyclical or seasonal celebration. 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:15.240 M okay. 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:17.360 And so it's best to have a feast, which is 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:21.240 like a large meal, and it's usually outrageous amounts of 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:23.280 food compared to what you would normally have day to day. 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:25.160 It's gonna be pretty hard to do that if you 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:27.080 don't have a season of harvest, if you don't have 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:27.880 a lot of stuff. 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:28.120 To choose from. 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:30.120 And you know what I like is that when you 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:33.280 look up the definition of feast, it's a verb and 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.720 it means to eat and drink sumptuously. 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:40.360 I like that word sumptuously. I'm start using that. 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:43.480 So when we start to think about friends giving, this 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:45.640 is kind of new. Like you said, it's been on 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:47.400 the rise. If you look at Google trends and they 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:50.240 show you know, that little graph of how often different 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:52.920 terms are searched, it doesn't make its first kind of 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:56.240 big blip until like twenty ten, and then you just 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:59.480 see every year around November it just peaks up. And 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:01.440 so it's been a arise since like the twenty ten 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:03.920 If you think about two thousand and seven to twenty ten, 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:07.320 the economy trying to make a comeback. Millennials were one 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.800 of the first generations to move really far away from home. 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:12.560 So can you even afford to get back home? 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:16.200 So I remember being an undergrad and before we would 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:18.760 go home for Thanksgiving break. Me and my friends one 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:21.840 year got together and had like a little Thanksgiving because 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:23.640 we were like, oh, you know, we're thankful for each other, 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:26.480 we should all get together and do something. So I 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:30.040 think it also was something where folks wanted to celebrate 0:08:30.240 --> 0:08:34.240 Thanksgiving with their friends before having to go home and 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:35.880 celebrate with their families. 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:38.440 And that makes me think also there's something that we 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:44.400 kind of borrow from LGBTQ culture, which is your chosen family. Yeah, 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:47.440 these people you choose and who have chosen you in return. 0:08:47.520 --> 0:08:49.960 So even if you don't have great relationships with your 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:53.760 blood relatives, right, you have this family who you are 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:56.680 super grateful for and you want to celebrate with them, 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:59.040 so you create this occasion to do that. I love 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:01.079 that ze and so I think think we're almost talking 0:09:01.080 --> 0:09:03.199 about friends Giving, and when we think about the evolution 0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:04.840 of it, some of it may be out of necessity. 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:08.360 So if you can't afford to travel home, or if 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:11.000 you have to do a potluck style dinner, because do 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:12.079 you know how much a turkey costs? 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:15.480 Turkeys are expensive. I will never purchase a turkey. Write 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.880 that in stone. I will never purchase a turkey. 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:20.960 So when you consider those things, and then these other 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:23.679 kind of emotional pools where you want to acknowledge these 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:25.840 people who have supported you year round and who have 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:30.160 helped you grow. You kind of have these converging factors 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:32.679 that drive this new holiday. 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:34.640 We're redefining family. 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:36.920 We are, and we're also dignifying friendship. 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:37.679 Absolutely. 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:40.559 We talked about that in the What About your Friend's episode, 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:44.000 like we need to be giving our friendships way more 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:46.440 weight than we give them, Like, our friends are so 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:48.880 important to our lives. 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:53.079 And I think if you understand that, then you got 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:57.040 to have a celebration. Yet, this is the bet Awards 0:09:57.120 --> 0:10:00.959 of friendship. Okay, the Emmys of friendship, the Grammys of friendship. 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:01.880 That's what friends giving it is. 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:03.440 I need to find a dress, roll. 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:05.880 Out the red carpet for the people you love. So, 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:08.719 as we mentioned before, we're looking at celebration through the 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:09.959 lens of sociology. 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:14.679 Sociology is the study of society and that's the big umbrella. 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:17.400 So that can be the development the structure of a 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:20.160 society or how it functions, and you can also talk 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:24.720 about social relationships and institutions. So when we're talking about 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:29.480 the sociology of celebration, we're talking about how we behave 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:36.880 cross culturally when a celebration occurs, whether it's planned or spontaneous, when. 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.280 We try to figure out some clues to help us 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:43.559 characterize why we behave like this, why we enjoy celebration, 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.600 and sometimes while we celebrate too much. We came across 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:50.280 the Journal of Comparative Research and Anthropology and Sociology. They 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:54.800 had a whole issue on celebration and these two authors, 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:59.320 Rusu and Cantola laid out this great kind of way 0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:02.240 to now a gate through celebration. If you think about 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:07.360 celebration as a map. On most maps, you have a north, south, east, 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.320 and west. Those are four coordinates. They give us three 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:14.400 coordinates temporality, spatiality, and sociality. 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:16.559 Okay, so let's get into it. 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:21.000 So let's talk about temporality. And this is all about time. 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:25.319 So when we think about time as it relates to celebration, celebrations, 0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:28.040 are these disruptions in our day to day I can 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:31.240 remember as a kid, somebody's birthday party happening on a Saturday. 0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:34.640 That was an anomaly, right, Yeah, we were gonna eat cake, 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:36.160 we were gonna do all these things that we did 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:38.000 not normally do on Saturday. 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:39.160 Chuckie Cheese had the best pizza. 0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:42.320 Pizza is your celebration food, It really is, and it 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:46.079 probably started with Chucke Cheese. But you almost find that 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:49.480 when we think about these celebrations that are rooted in time, 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.720 so religious holidays, they almost pattern our day to day. 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.560 So if you think about our year going along in 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:58.720 a circle, every time we hit March or April, there 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:02.079 are some spring celebrations. Every time around the summer, there's 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:05.440 June teenth or fourth of July, whatever you celebrate, Right, 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:07.800 there's these things in every year when you come around, 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:10.840 they almost pattern what our cycle of time looks like 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:14.199 because they're a disruption every time, over and over again. 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.240 Every year at the same time, right, And so. 0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:19.320 It's interesting we can think of these celebrations that's helping 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:21.360 us shift from the monotony of this day to day 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:24.880 kind of punch in, punch out, clock in, clock out. 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:27.240 They add some excitement to our day to day lives 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:29.760 and it gives us something to look forward to, right. Yes, 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:34.120 And it feels a little crazy, right because you're saying, oh, 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:37.800 we pattern time with these celebrations and they disrupt time. 0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:40.600 So if they disrupt time at the same time, all 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:42.520 the time. Aren't they a pattern too? It's too much 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:46.160 for my brain. It's like if we're going into exception, right. 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:49.640 I saw something else that was really interesting. It talked 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:53.640 about these two Greek words related to Greek mythology about time, 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:56.720 So there was chronos and chiros. You can think of 0:12:56.760 --> 0:13:00.880 chronos as representing the godly personification is what this text 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:04.520 says of linear, never ending quantitative time. So for me, 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.080 chronos is the clock and we can think of chronological 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:10.920 order right, linear time right. But Kiros is a little 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:14.880 bit different. Kiros is like I'm just going off the vibes, right, 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.600 and for me, that is what celebration time is, like, 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:20.480 you know the vibe when we're celebrating. Just show up 0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:22.240 when it's time. Do you remember that time we had 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:25.040 a party and our friend Sean said she was gonna 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:28.199 bring hamburger buns and she showed up so late, Oh my. 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:29.560 Gosh, and she showed up late. 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:32.720 I was like, okay, well, you're bringing a critical element 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:37.480 because we're grilling out and we have burgers and hot dogs, 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:38.920 and you were in charge. 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:42.440 Of the vehicle buns for those meets. 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:44.560 Sewn showing up when she felt like it was time 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:47.640 to show up for me, that's chiros, right, it's no 0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.840 real What is an hour. What is time is when 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:54.520 the party starts. And I am a firm proponent of kiros. 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:57.200 When it comes to when a celebration ends, the party 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:58.720 is over when we're dead. 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:03.520 So the next element of the coordinates of celebration is spatiality, 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:06.280 and that's all about where's the party at. Along with 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:12.520 our routinized celebrations, this usually happens at a certain place. Right, 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:15.040 So if you're celebrating passover, maybe you go to a 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:18.880 satyr at your grandmother's house every year, or maybe if 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:22.400 you're celebrating ed, you go to your uncle's house every year, 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:24.800 and that's where all of that celebrating happens. But it 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:27.920 happens in the same place, and so in your mind, 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:30.440 as soon as you walk through those doors, you're like, okay, 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:33.880 it's time to celebrate. For me and my family, it 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:37.840 would alternate every year. For Thanksgiving, we would alternate between 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:40.480 my uncle Jacob and Aunt Rachel's house. Then it would 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:43.479 be at my house, so my parents would host Thanksgiving, 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:45.280 and so we would just go back and forth and 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:48.040 back and forth. And I think that's because my dad 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:51.400 is the oldest of eight siblings, and then my uncle 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.040 Jacob is his younger brother. He's right behind him, so 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:56.880 they're kind of like the heads of the family, and 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:59.560 so we just alternate between those two. There was always 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.880 so much fun seeing all of my cousins and aunts 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:03.960 and uncles and everything like that all in one place. 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:05.040 What about u Z. 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:10.520 I think for major holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving, when we 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:13.760 celebrated those growing up, we always went to my grandma's house, 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:16.240 so my mom's mom the drive down there, I remember 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:17.840 it will be like so excited to go there. It 0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:19.720 was like an hour or so away from where we 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:23.520 lived in Greensboro, and it was just a thing, right, 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:25.640 you were just bubbling with excitement. Now we went there 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:29.040 every other weekend that wasn't a holiday, but it just 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:32.680 hit different right now, it would have been like homecoming season. 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:36.000 I can remember A and T homecoming all right, geho, 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:37.880 greatest homecoming on Earth. I didn't even go to A 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:39.480 and T. But I grew up in the city where 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:41.640 it was, so I felt like A and T's homecoming 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:44.360 was always like another big holiday. People would come because 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:46.040 a lot of my family members went there, so you 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:49.760 would see family it was like a mini Thanksgiving before Thanksgiving, 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.600 and we would go to my great aunt, my aunt Lina, 0:15:52.600 --> 0:15:54.680 we would go to her house. And so it's just 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:58.120 interesting how as soon as we started talking about celebrations, 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:01.440 I can pinpoint these different places for different celebrations. 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:03.480 Yeah, so I guess we can zoom out a little bit. 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:05.840 So it's like not even just specific for your family, 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:09.600 but even like culturally as Americans, like when we think 0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:12.720 about celebrating New Year's Eve, we think of the ball 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.360 dropping in Times Square. We might not necessarily be there, 0:16:15.680 --> 0:16:18.400 but it's just so iconic and ingrain into our minds 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:20.280 that we think of that when we think of New 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:20.800 Year's Eve. 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:24.480 The spatiality aspect is really interesting because it can be 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:27.080 a whole city, you know, like when we think about 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.920 Mardi Gras in New Orleans and when we think about 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:32.840 Running of the Bulls. There are these places where these 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:35.640 celebrations occur. And it can be broad like that, but 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:38.880 it can also be really specific. So, right, if you 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:41.440 normally eating your kitchen or your living room, but for 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:44.280 big holidays, you guys all gather around the dining table 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:46.600 and you use that special furniture hah. 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:49.280 The special plates yeah, the napkins. 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:54.440 That's a spatial queue, right, is almost reminiscent of some 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:58.040 religious ceremonies and celebrations that happen in these sacred spaces 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:02.400 or sanctuaries. Right. We're almost replicating that there's something ritualistic 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:04.960 about a lot of our celebrations anyway, and so here 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:06.119 we see it appearing again. 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:07.080 Yeah, and then. 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:11.440 Even if there isn't a special place for whatever you're 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:15.679 trying to celebrate, we convert our existing spaces into a 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:19.359 space for celebration, absolutely, and that is. 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.399 Literally what folks did for Friendsgiving. 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:26.520 So we've touched temporality, which is time space, reality which 0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:29.840 is where are you? And now we're hitting sociality, which 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.960 is how does it feel? It's the social aspect. So 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:37.600 the togetherness you're kind of dropping those barriers is the vibes. 0:17:37.800 --> 0:17:40.560 It's really interesting because when you have a holiday, you 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:43.119 got your core group of people that you always normally see, 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.760 but then you always have some stragglers. You got that 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:48.080 one cousin who shows up for Easter, you like, we 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:51.520 haven't seen them all year, right, Or you have that 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:53.800 aunt or uncle that you don't really deal with like that, 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:59.280 but you're going to keep it cute for the holiday, right. 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:02.080 I think it's really interesting. Even on a broader scale, 0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:04.679 even if you just zoom out, we can almost consider 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.320 this as people being in the holiday spirit or having 0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:08.240 some holiday cheer. 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:09.440 Mm hmmm hmm. 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.840 It almost feels like community level or group level. We're 0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:14.840 all extending a little bit more grace. 0:18:15.080 --> 0:18:18.320 Yes, worldwide vibes and no one is supposed to be 0:18:18.400 --> 0:18:21.760 coming in and killing the vibe, and so sociality I 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:25.040 think is key to a good celebration. 0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:27.920 But I think it's important to highlight sociality can go 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:31.800 either way because that sense of community. You can either 0:18:32.160 --> 0:18:35.280 leverage it and make everybody feel equal, you can bring 0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:38.160 everybody in. And it really depends on your holiday because 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:40.680 if you have a holiday that is built on power 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:44.320 dynamics and access to certain things, it can also isolate too. 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:46.480 So you want to be aware of that when you 0:18:46.520 --> 0:18:48.640 build in your friends giving, are you saying everybody got 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:51.120 to bring a ball of asa space. Everybody can't do that. 0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:54.760 I won't be there, and some folks don't drink right, 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:57.000 And so those are all the things to think about. 0:18:57.280 --> 0:18:59.879 You know. I had to really question my cookout style 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:02.040 over the past couple of years, I've had more and 0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:06.280 more vegetarian friends. Oh, and I said, what do you 0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:08.119 have to offer them? Is it a celebration if they 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:09.840 can only have a potato? It's not. 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:13.159 Oh my goodness, Yes, this happened to me because me 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:17.879 and Jimmy do a holiday dinner every year, and two 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:20.679 dinners ago, so not the last one we did, but 0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:24.520 the one before that. We had some friends that showed up, 0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:26.440 and I knew that they were vegetarians, so we tried 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:30.480 to have some vegetarian options, but one was vegan, and 0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:35.359 that just eliminated all options. There was literally nothing for 0:19:35.480 --> 0:19:39.600 them to eat. And I was mortified. I was messing 0:19:39.640 --> 0:19:43.280 up the sociality of my dinner party. I was killing 0:19:43.280 --> 0:19:45.679 the vibes from my vegan friends. But I know that 0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:49.119 they knew you meant well. They were good sports. I 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:50.320 was crying into my hand. 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:52.120 The Queen of the ham was having a bad night. 0:19:53.000 --> 0:19:55.400 That just takes us to the next point about what 0:19:55.480 --> 0:19:59.480 happens when celebrations and the expectations around them get really high, 0:19:59.600 --> 0:20:01.360 and they can on a lot of pressure. But we're 0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:03.240 not going to talk about it just yet. We're about 0:20:03.240 --> 0:20:05.280 to take a break, and when we come back, we'll 0:20:05.359 --> 0:20:08.560 jump right into the case for scaling back on celebrations. 0:20:08.800 --> 0:20:11.160 I know it seems a little counterintuitive, and how we'll 0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:13.359 continue to celebrate even when we can't be together. 0:20:30.640 --> 0:20:33.439 We're back, and now we're going to jump into the 0:20:33.560 --> 0:20:37.800 case for scaling back on celebrations. We have already talked 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:40.000