WEBVTT - Zane Lowe ON: 3 Tools for Navigating Social Anxiety & 3 Ways to Change Your Relationship with Your Ego 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:02.600 Just pull the car over. Stop driving in a direction 0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:04.920 that you think you should go in it because your directionless. 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:07.800 Right now stop, let all the cars drive past you 0:00:07.840 --> 0:00:10.039 and enjoy the fact that you're actually stopping. 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:14.000 It was Zing Low, Same Low International, DJ Apple Music's 0:00:14.040 --> 0:00:16.239 creative director. I love you there. 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:18.920 I'd rather just start. I already have a big introduction. 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:21.599 I really genuinely thought, I'm just going to live with 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:23.239 these aches. This will be it for the rest of 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:24.880 my life. Why would you want to live with pain? 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:26.680 How do you work them? Where you achieve them more? 0:00:26.680 --> 0:00:28.200 You achieve them where you tell yourself you're okay, the 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:29.760 where you tell us off you're okay. Not dealing with 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:30.080 the ship. 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:33.680 Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:36.839 you to join this community to hear more interviews that 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:40.720 will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:43.080 I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:45.959 I love your support. It's incredible to see all your 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:48.960 comments and we're just getting started. I can't wait to 0:00:48.960 --> 0:00:51.080 go on this journey with you. Thank you so much 0:00:51.080 --> 0:00:53.440 for subscribing. It means the world to me. The best 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:56.000 selling author and close the number one healthy well in 0:00:56.040 --> 0:01:01.040 the podcast Purpose with Ja Shetty, how do you describe 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:03.320 what do you do? How do you like to choose? 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:06.959 Because I feel like when you have a role that 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:09.480 is public, like I always get asked what do you 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:12.160 want your lower third to say? And I don't like 0:01:12.240 --> 0:01:16.119 being defined by the lists of roles in titles. So 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:18.319 how would you describe what you do or what you 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:18.800 believe in? 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:21.039 I agree, I mean, I think roles and titles make 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:23.280 it easier to work with other people with roles and titles, 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:27.199 but I think in life it's different. In my life, 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:30.399 I'm just a fan. I'm just a I'm a fan. 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:33.160 I'm someone who discovers something very early on in life 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:36.200 that stuck with me. I knew it was going to 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:42.360 be very special and important to my development, to my identity, 0:01:42.480 --> 0:01:46.480 to helping me find my way in life. And once 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:49.600 I kind of made it a singularity rather than one 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:53.440 of many hobbies. It just I just tried to immerse 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:56.000 myself in as much of it as possible, like almost obsessively. 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:59.240 And so I'm just a big, big fan of what 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:02.440 I love, which outside of my family and friends as music. 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:04.520 So I'm just I'm just a super fan that is. 0:02:04.720 --> 0:02:06.640 I love that. That's such a great cool way of 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:10.160 defining yourself with with that you've sat down with Obviously 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:13.440 so many incredible artists and beautiful interviews I've watched your 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:15.640 One of my favorite interviews is yours with Harry Stalze. 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:18.519 That was I thought that was brilliant. But when was 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:20.200 the first time you felt like a fan when you 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:22.200 hadn't met someone? Like, when was the first time you 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:26.120 felt like a real fan when you didn't sit opposite 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:28.520 that person and you didn't know that person? And do 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:30.560 you remember that moment? You mean, like at a concert 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:32.440 and stuff at a concert, or like when you bought 0:02:32.440 --> 0:02:35.880 your first record, or like where was that experience of 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:36.640 your first moment? 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:40.720 Beautiful question at the gate bro, Like, what an amazing question. 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:45.320 The first time I really I really realized that it 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:51.760 was chemical. It was It wasn't really a something by design, 0:02:51.800 --> 0:03:00.240 it was it was reactive. Was probably going and seeing 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:07.119 a band called Split Ends, which is arguably New Zealand's 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:13.080 most influential and legendary band. They were around predominantly in 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:14.679 the seventies and had a lot of success in the 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:17.840 eighties in the In the in the late eighties, they 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:21.880 splintered off and neil Finn left to go and form 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:25.880 Crowded House, And of course everyone knows Crowded House and 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:27.920 neil Finn don't dream it's over, and you know, he 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:30.160 had a huge He's had huge success in a huge career, 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:33.040 has other members of that band, but and in their heyday. 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:36.400 When I went saw them as a kid with my mom, 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:39.880 I think being in that crowd and reacting the way 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:41.600 I did to the music, which I don't really remember. 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:43.560 My mum always told me that it was. It was 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:45.560 almost like an out of body experience, like I was 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:47.600 like I was in church or something like I wasn't. 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:49.880 I wasn't listening to the music in the same way 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:52.040 that she'd seen me at home, or she she was 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:54.960 looking left and right. I was somewhere else for the 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:57.720 entire Yeah, in a way, in some kind of chance. 0:03:57.760 --> 0:03:59.600 And so that's when I think she realized, oh, this 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:03.080 it grabs this kid. And then I think also going 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:06.280 and seeing start making sense the movie by Talking Hiss 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:08.720 was when I realized, like I wanted to get as 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:10.960 close to because it was different with split Ins, they 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:13.080 were right there on the stage, but seeing talking kids 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:14.800 on that screen, and I made my mom take me 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:17.039 to that movie two days in a row. As a 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:18.919 young person but a little bit older that that was 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:22.560 when I was like, oh, how do I get to them? 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:25.240 Like they're on a big movie screen right now. How 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:29.880 do I get to them? Like Split Ends is down 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:32.080 the road, but Talking Heads is somewhere like theymy as 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:34.000 well be on Mars. You know. 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:38.240 Yeah, that's a beautiful answer. Yeah, I love the I 0:04:38.279 --> 0:04:40.160 love the idea of first I remember that. I think 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:43.080 the first movie I saw in theaters was Cool Runnings, 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:46.960 which I love the incredible, such a great first experience 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:47.800 at the theaters, and. 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:49.400 I was like, I don't know anyone who doesn't love 0:04:49.440 --> 0:04:49.919 that film. 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:51.799 I know. It was just it was such a great 0:04:51.920 --> 0:04:56.200 like first experience. And then my first album that I 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:58.920 properly listened to. So it's weirdly I talk about this. 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:00.520 I haven't talked about this a lot, but it makes 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:02.440 sense talking about it with you. Like I grew up 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:04.840 in a home where I was encouraged to learn how 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:07.200 to play instruments, but we never listened to a lot 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:07.880 of music. 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:10.200 Interesting, So it was more discipline than and enjoyment level. 0:05:10.400 --> 0:05:14.440 Correct, it was more like an extracurricular academic activity because 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:16.719 it would look good on my resume when I applied 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:21.799 to a better school later on, and it really hampered 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:25.479 my ability to love instruments. And so I grew up 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:27.520 playing the piano. I did grade up to grade four 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:29.239 in the piano. I did grade five theory. 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:31.520 I played percussion all the while not really knowing what 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:33.360 listening to music the feeling is. 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:36.240 Yeah, there was no feeling. And then I turned twelve 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:39.080 or thirteen when I kind of stopped doing that, and 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.080 I was introduced to Eminem for the first time through 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:43.960 a friends school. 0:05:44.000 --> 0:05:46.160 So you went from studying an instrument and not really 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:48.760 being exposed to the enjoyment of music to listening to Eminem. 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:51.839 Yes, literally that was it. That was exactly it. 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:53.640 And I know what you're eating any sugar in the 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:57.440 house and then eventually, look, here's a sixtier chocolate diccake. 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:01.440 Decad and delicious and just yeah. And I remember getting 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:03.400 from a guy at school and he had he had 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:06.600 like the he had the Infinite album too, which was, yeah, 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:09.040 the first one, and I remember putting it on and 0:06:09.040 --> 0:06:11.760 feeling like such a fan where in a way that 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:14.680 I've never you know, felt again, maybe even then that 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:16.960 first is so important. But with you, what do you 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:20.800 think has changed about your relationship with being a fan? 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:22.960 You said you're still a fan, but like, what was 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:24.479 it like being a fan back then? And what is 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:25.880 it like being a fan back now? When you're so 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:28.800 close to the industry, You are the industry in so 0:06:28.839 --> 0:06:31.839 many ways, you define what takes off, what doesn't like 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:34.240 you're so close to it all. What has changed in 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:34.800 being a fan? 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:37.360 A lot? Nothing? I mean, you know, the simple question 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:39.719 is very little. I mean, the distance between who I 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:41.680 was in that concert and who I am today is 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.520 very It's a very short distance. I still get the 0:06:44.560 --> 0:06:47.279 same sense of I still I can still find myself 0:06:47.279 --> 0:06:49.880 in that space where I'm lost. You know, I can 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:51.640 still put on music and my headphones and go for 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:53.520 a walk and end up in floods of tears quietly 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:57.039 on my own. You know. It's it's something that is 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:59.560 deep affects me deeply, and I haven't had to work 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:01.480 to hold on to that. That's how I know I'm 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:04.640 in the right place in my life. You know. In 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:06.320 terms of the industry side of it, that's a whole 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:08.760 other conversation. I Mean, everything's changed there, and I think 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:12.600 finding myself in any room or in any seat, or 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:15.720 behind any microphone, or in any conversation or in any studio, 0:07:16.600 --> 0:07:18.280 to me, was always a privilege. I didn't know how 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:19.760 to get in those rooms. I didn't know how to 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:23.760 do that. I didn't come from a background where the 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:25.680 kind of music industry I wanted to move into the 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:27.360 area I wanted to move in my life made sense. 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:29.120 My dad is from a radio background, so okay, you 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:32.920 can see that makes more sense. But that wasn't my 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:35.120 intention as a kid. I didn't wake up in want 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:38.240 to follow my father's footsteps. He knows this. I wanted 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:40.320 to be in recording studios and make music my whole life, 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:41.760 and I didn't know how to get there. And I 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:43.760 didn't know what a music industry was. And I mean, 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:46.480 there was no music industry really in New Zealand, and 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:49.600 some might even argue that there is, but it's specific 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:52.120 to that environment. It's not London, it's not New York, 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:56.600 it's not Tokyo, it's not Germany wherever. So that is 0:07:56.640 --> 0:08:00.200 a journey that I can't even put into context myself. 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:03.000 And I think you know this more than anyone, right, Like, 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:06.640 stay in the moment and absorb the situation, learn and 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:11.240 move forward. And I think I was doing that without 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:15.360 him realizing it, because I couldn't have charted this path. 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:18.440 Well, that makes your journey even more fascinating to me, 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.200 because you're right, you didn't grow up in a space 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:24.760 that naturally lended itself to the career you have today. 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:27.480 Do you remember if you could track back for us 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:29.840 even before what consciously comes to mind? What was that 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:32.680 first step to say I'm going to pursue this, Because 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:36.480 I feel today it's really fascinating that there's even more choices. 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:40.880 In one sense, there's even more access. But people who 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:43.720 are listening today, even myself a few years ago, I 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:48.960 found myself having the limiting belief and the hopelessness almost 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:53.640 of my dreams really far away. I don't think it's possible. 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:56.840 Those kind of things don't happen to people like me. 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.040 I'm not set up to succeed. 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:02.000 Because I think that in that moment in time, and 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:04.199 I've felt that many times in my life. I think 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:07.559 that what happens is where it are most effective, when 0:09:07.559 --> 0:09:09.760 we have some kind of singularity to focus on. You know, 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.719 it's like this is what I love, this is who 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:14.800 I love this is the person I most want to 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:17.079 have this conversation with in my life right now. This 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:18.960 is what I need to do to be healthy. And 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:21.720 I think when we're focused on things that are ultimately 0:09:21.720 --> 0:09:27.200 giving us purpose, we manifest without even realizing it, you know. 0:09:27.920 --> 0:09:30.200 And I think when we get into that place of 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:32.120 hopelessness that you've been, and I've been, and others have 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:36.400 been in an r in, it's when we split that 0:09:36.440 --> 0:09:38.880 singularity up into fifty five things, one hundred things, a 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:41.920 thousand things, a million things. At best, they contradict each 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:44.400 other or count each other. At worse, they actively fight 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:48.000 for your attention, and you can't give your attention to everything. 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:50.120 And so that's where you end up just standing still, 0:09:50.920 --> 0:09:55.440 questioning your own purpose, your own abilities, because it seems 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:57.360 hard just to take a step forward because there's so 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:00.880 much noise that's around you. When I've been at my 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:03.439 most effective and best for myself is when I've been 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:07.440 least affected by that noise and the most focused on 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:12.320 what I know is moving me emotionally and inspirationally in 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:12.880 my life. 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:13.280 Yeah. 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:15.320 That's I've never heard it put that way, but that 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:18.560 resonates deeply. I remember I sat down with one of 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:22.160 my spiritual teachers, probably when I was maybe like ten 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:24.400 years ago, and I said, I've got all these ideas. 0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:25.760 I want to do all these things, but I don't 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:27.520 know where to start. It was what you just described 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:32.079 that like fragmented, distracted, yes, static, static, Yeah. And I 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:33.680 said to him, I just I don't know where to start. 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:36.600 And he said something beautiful to me. He said, he said, 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:40.320 open every door that you possibly can. And then he 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:43.880 said the doors that close, let them close, and just 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:46.559 keep walking through the ones that remain open. That's amazing 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:49.640 And it was the best advice I've ever got in life, Yeah, 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:52.080 because I felt like all of us were just standing 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:54.360 at one door or ten doors, just trying to open 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:54.760 all of them. 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:56.040 You know. All my wife says to me when I 0:10:56.080 --> 0:10:58.560 get like that, she's like, pull not literally, and maybe 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:01.559 sometimes literally, but she says, pull car over. And what 0:11:01.600 --> 0:11:04.320 she means is is that just pull the car over. 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:06.640 Stop driving in a direction that you think you should 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:09.640 go in, because you directionless right now and you're actually 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:12.160 possibly driving yourself further away from where you should be. 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:16.000 Pull the car over. Stop, let all the cars drive 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.000 past you, and don't worry about where they're going. Let 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.840 the traffic go past, you, don't worry about it, just 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:25.520 to enjoy the fact that you're actually stopping. Ignore the traffic, 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:28.160 ignore everyone else, Focus on where you want to go, 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:31.680 Choose your direction, and focus on it. Because right now, 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:33.559 and this is I mean, you know, when she's at 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:35.800 her most lull, she's like, because right now you're veering 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:38.720 all over the freeway. You're like, you have no idea 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:41.960 where you're going, and you know it's to me that 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:46.360 kind of it speaks a similar truth, which is we're all, 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:50.400 in everyday life, entirely capable of just of being distracted 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:53.520 and distracting ourselves and allowing us to ourselves to be distracted. 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:56.560 And it's a part of life because it's noisy. It's 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:58.839 really noisy, And especially the older you get, the more 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:00.720 you see, the more you absorb, the more you try 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:02.600 to own, the more you try to find yourself through 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.040 the things you own. This is an awesome space. But 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.480 you've got stuff in here, right at some point if 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:09.199 you leave, you've got to figure out where this stuff 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:10.720 goes You take it, do you leave it? These are 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:14.079 all decisions, right, everything's a decision. And I think that 0:12:14.520 --> 0:12:17.680 you know, when we're probably most capable of making the 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:22.400 decisions that ultimately charter a path of true holistic and 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:27.320 spiritual and also just ambition level value is when we're 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:32.560 focused on simplicity, simple things. Yeah, it's true, simple doors, 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:33.080 It's true. 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:38.840 Yeah, And it's what I've found really attractive is a 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:46.840 peaceful mind and an internal simplicity allows for navigation of 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:48.240 external chaos. 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:53.679 It makes us more capable of moving through that thrash. 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:56.720 Yes, correct, Yeah, Like I've always thought about what I've 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:58.880 tried to work on a lot, and I work on 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:01.720 every day because I'm not there. Yeah, is to refine 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:08.280 my internal intention to be so simple and clear that 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:12.520 then the external complexity which naturally comes with being an 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:14.959 entrepreneur and running a business and everything else that comes 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:18.000 with trying to make an impact and and trying to 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:21.200 provide for your family and the people you love. But 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:23.000 it's like the reason for doing it is just one 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:23.760 little dark. 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:27.040 Oh d, my most indecisive. I probably had a few 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:31.079 nights drinking some wine. My work is really busy, and 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:33.560 I'm not really seeing I'm not I'm not seeing it. 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:36.680 I'm not seeing the playbook for that week. And someone 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:38.319 can call me and ask me the most simple thing, 0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:40.640 and I can't make that decision. And that's it's because 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:44.520 to your point, I've clouded my own ability to be decisive. 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:48.680 And sometimes it's not it's not it's not my decisions. 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:51.280 Sometimes it's just stuff going off around you. I Mean, 0:13:51.280 --> 0:13:53.280 the thing is as well about about trying to find 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:58.480 that internal balance, that clarity internally is that that's where 0:13:58.480 --> 0:14:02.319 the most noise is. I mean that this all pales 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:06.280 to that. Like, think about every experience and every memory 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.840 and everything and whether it's trauma or joy that we're 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:11.240 absorbing all the time. Like that's why I love therapy 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:12.880 so much. And if you can do it and you 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:14.640 can afford it, and it's something that you would are 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:17.280 willing to try, I'm a big believer in it because 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:20.920 it's to me, just creates space. It just helps you, 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:25.040 like down like thirty percent of the trash and now 0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:27.000 I have space to fill it with stuff based on 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:29.320 my learnings and what I truly know about myself that 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:31.080 is a value to me, versus the stuff that I 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.120 either inherited that I never wanted in the first place, 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:35.400 or stuff that I thought I wanted that it's not 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:38.280 actually good for me, Like just get rid all that, right, 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:40.600 and it's a good, great way to clear out. And 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:43.680 because that is to me the noisiest for me, that 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:47.600 is way noisier than what's outside this door way noisier. 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:49.680 So you say you're not there yet, I'm never going 0:14:49.760 --> 0:14:52.640 to get there, Jay, But I love I love the process. 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:54.640 Yeah, it's the pursuit. But I like the way you 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:58.040 describe therapy as a clear out because I don't think 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:00.760 that's how it's often always seen. And it's really interesting, right. 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:02.720 We all know I need to clean my wardrobe out 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:04.240 and need to get rid of some of my clothes, 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:05.200 and it feels good when you do it, and it 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:06.800 feels good when you do, but we don't think about 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:07.640 our thoughts that way. 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.440 Yeah, And we are finite. We have finite space. I 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:12.400 think we have finite ability to be able to process, 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:16.400 certainly emotionally, and the way that we process information and 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:19.360 how it makes us feel a lot of our feelings 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:22.400 are wasted, are a waste, Yeah, because we get driven 0:15:22.440 --> 0:15:24.400 by ego, We get or it takes us back to 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:26.080 a time in our life we weren't happy, or it 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:30.000 triggers something that we're as unresolved, and our feelings then 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:34.640 dictate our actions. But if we're not creating space for 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.000 us to be able to fill ourselves with good things, 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:40.640 then then our feelings sometimes again, our feelings just won't 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:41.560 be They won't honor us. 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:44.600 I think, wow, yeah, that you've reminded me of a 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:48.200 study that I read a while ago that said, and 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.400 it may be different now because of just how fast 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.120 things are changing, but it was saying that the human 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:57.600 brain has the ability to compute like seventy four gigabytes 0:15:57.600 --> 0:16:00.880 of daya or a day, but we just filling it 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:05.720 up with like we're easily consuming that much that isn't selected, 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:09.560 cleared out, curated, it's just being filled up with what's 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:09.920 coming back. 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:12.480 And we're always going to have to because we can't 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:15.240 like control the fallacy, and we can't dictate how our 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:17.520 life works in terms of who gives us what information 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:20.360 and how we process things and who tries to you know, 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:22.800 how we unload energy on each other, and that's just 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:25.880 part of being a human and living in a society. 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:28.800 But what it does allow us to do is to 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:32.320 be conscious of that and to allow ourselves the way 0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:33.600 I always look at it as like a meter in 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:35.760 the red right, if you look at this old kind 0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:39.520 of like I don't know if the ge gigameters whatever, whatever. 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:43.000 You've got the needle here, and the last kind of 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:46.280 ten percent is red. It's always red, yes, yes, yes, right, 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:50.440 the rest of it's white. Everything's great bad, oh good bad, right, 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:53.560 And if you haven't got the ability to be able 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:55.720 to process it properly, then then even if you wake 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:57.200 up in the morning and you sort of back to 0:16:57.280 --> 0:17:00.680 sort of thirty because you're restless, you've got some anxiety 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:02.960 when you wake up, if you haven't got the space 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:05.480 figured out the smallest thing, and you back in the red, 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:07.560 what I try to do is have it go like 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:09.320 that and then when it gets to about seventy, figure 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:11.240 out how I get it back down to thirty. So 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:12.960 if it does get in the red, I've just I've 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.240 got more of an ability to process and to manage 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:16.000 those feelings. 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:19.159 Yeah, yeah, definitely one of the things I met. I 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:21.320 wanted to go back a couple of steps with something 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:24.119 you mentioned that was beautiful where you described your trance 0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:27.600 like experience almost of being lost, and it reminded me 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:29.480 of the visual which I think Baz Lehrman did a 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.040 great job of in the New Elvis movie, like when 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:32.560 you see. 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:33.200 It like the movie. 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:35.920 Yeah, I really like the visual storytelling of it. I 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:38.399 thought it was and the music was spectacular. Yeah, I 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:42.520 thought the scenes of young Elvis having those trance like 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:47.000 experiences was really really special. And I wonder what did 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:50.399 it feel like when maybe were you were DJing, you 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:53.119 were creating that you saw people having that kind of 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:55.639 experience to you. How was it like almost being on 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:56.440 the opposite end. 0:17:56.520 --> 0:17:58.480 Well, the reason I chose to DJA in the first 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:00.840 place was because I think there's always been performative part 0:18:00.840 --> 0:18:03.639 of my nature that I sort of turn till my 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:06.119 back's too strong a term. But as I found myself 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:07.720 in the in the media side of things, and I 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:11.040 guess connecting the artists to the fan, which I love 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:14.600 to do, it mean, I didn't really have so much 0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:16.720 of an outlet for that until I got to radio, 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:18.639 and then I guess that started to come out in 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:20.560 the way I broadcast, in the way that I played records. 0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:22.240 It was very I was very sort of like and 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:24.240 I still am, but very much during my time at 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:27.399 the BBC, I was very active with the music. I 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:29.879 liked to use effex and reverbs and sing along with 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:31.960 the songs and pull them up and explode them and 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:34.320