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Speaker 1: Just pull the car over. Stop driving in a direction

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Speaker 1: that you think you should go in it because your directionless.

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Speaker 1: Right now stop, let all the cars drive past you

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Speaker 1: and enjoy the fact that you're actually stopping.

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Speaker 2: It was Zing Low, Same Low International, DJ Apple Music's

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Speaker 2: creative director. I love you there.

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Speaker 1: I'd rather just start. I already have a big introduction.

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Speaker 1: I really genuinely thought, I'm just going to live with

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Speaker 1: these aches. This will be it for the rest of

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Speaker 1: my life. Why would you want to live with pain?

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Speaker 1: How do you work them? Where you achieve them more?

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Speaker 1: You achieve them where you tell yourself you're okay, the

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Speaker 1: where you tell us off you're okay. Not dealing with

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Speaker 1: the ship.

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Speaker 2: Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite

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Speaker 2: you to join this community to hear more interviews that

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Speaker 2: will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All

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Speaker 2: I want you to do is click on the subscribe button.

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Speaker 2: I love your support. It's incredible to see all your

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Speaker 2: comments and we're just getting started. I can't wait to

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Speaker 2: go on this journey with you. Thank you so much

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Speaker 2: for subscribing. It means the world to me. The best

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Speaker 2: selling author and close the number one healthy well in

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Speaker 2: the podcast Purpose with Ja Shetty, how do you describe

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Speaker 2: what do you do? How do you like to choose?

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Speaker 2: Because I feel like when you have a role that

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Speaker 2: is public, like I always get asked what do you

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Speaker 2: want your lower third to say? And I don't like

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Speaker 2: being defined by the lists of roles in titles. So

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Speaker 2: how would you describe what you do or what you

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Speaker 2: believe in?

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Speaker 1: I agree, I mean, I think roles and titles make

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Speaker 1: it easier to work with other people with roles and titles,

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Speaker 1: but I think in life it's different. In my life,

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Speaker 1: I'm just a fan. I'm just a I'm a fan.

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Speaker 1: I'm someone who discovers something very early on in life

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Speaker 1: that stuck with me. I knew it was going to

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Speaker 1: be very special and important to my development, to my identity,

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Speaker 1: to helping me find my way in life. And once

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Speaker 1: I kind of made it a singularity rather than one

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Speaker 1: of many hobbies. It just I just tried to immerse

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Speaker 1: myself in as much of it as possible, like almost obsessively.

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Speaker 1: And so I'm just a big, big fan of what

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Speaker 1: I love, which outside of my family and friends as music.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just I'm just a super fan that is.

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Speaker 2: I love that. That's such a great cool way of

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Speaker 2: defining yourself with with that you've sat down with Obviously

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Speaker 2: so many incredible artists and beautiful interviews I've watched your

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Speaker 2: One of my favorite interviews is yours with Harry Stalze.

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Speaker 2: That was I thought that was brilliant. But when was

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Speaker 2: the first time you felt like a fan when you

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Speaker 2: hadn't met someone? Like, when was the first time you

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Speaker 2: felt like a real fan when you didn't sit opposite

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Speaker 2: that person and you didn't know that person? And do

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Speaker 2: you remember that moment? You mean, like at a concert

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Speaker 2: and stuff at a concert, or like when you bought

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Speaker 2: your first record, or like where was that experience of

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Speaker 2: your first moment?

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Speaker 1: Beautiful question at the gate bro, Like, what an amazing question.

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Speaker 1: The first time I really I really realized that it

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Speaker 1: was chemical. It was It wasn't really a something by design,

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Speaker 1: it was it was reactive. Was probably going and seeing

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Speaker 1: a band called Split Ends, which is arguably New Zealand's

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Speaker 1: most influential and legendary band. They were around predominantly in

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Speaker 1: the seventies and had a lot of success in the

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Speaker 1: eighties in the In the in the late eighties, they

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Speaker 1: splintered off and neil Finn left to go and form

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Speaker 1: Crowded House, And of course everyone knows Crowded House and

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Speaker 1: neil Finn don't dream it's over, and you know, he

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Speaker 1: had a huge He's had huge success in a huge career,

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Speaker 1: has other members of that band, but and in their heyday.

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Speaker 1: When I went saw them as a kid with my mom,

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Speaker 1: I think being in that crowd and reacting the way

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Speaker 1: I did to the music, which I don't really remember.

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Speaker 1: My mum always told me that it was. It was

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Speaker 1: almost like an out of body experience, like I was

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Speaker 1: like I was in church or something like I wasn't.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't listening to the music in the same way

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Speaker 1: that she'd seen me at home, or she she was

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Speaker 1: looking left and right. I was somewhere else for the

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Speaker 1: entire Yeah, in a way, in some kind of chance.

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Speaker 1: And so that's when I think she realized, oh, this

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Speaker 1: it grabs this kid. And then I think also going

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Speaker 1: and seeing start making sense the movie by Talking Hiss

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Speaker 1: was when I realized, like I wanted to get as

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Speaker 1: close to because it was different with split Ins, they

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Speaker 1: were right there on the stage, but seeing talking kids

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Speaker 1: on that screen, and I made my mom take me

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Speaker 1: to that movie two days in a row. As a

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Speaker 1: young person but a little bit older that that was

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Speaker 1: when I was like, oh, how do I get to them?

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Speaker 1: Like they're on a big movie screen right now. How

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Speaker 1: do I get to them? Like Split Ends is down

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Speaker 1: the road, but Talking Heads is somewhere like theymy as

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Speaker 1: well be on Mars. You know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a beautiful answer. Yeah, I love the I

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Speaker 2: love the idea of first I remember that. I think

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Speaker 2: the first movie I saw in theaters was Cool Runnings,

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Speaker 2: which I love the incredible, such a great first experience

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Speaker 2: at the theaters, and.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know anyone who doesn't love

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Speaker 1: that film.

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Speaker 2: I know. It was just it was such a great

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Speaker 2: like first experience. And then my first album that I

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Speaker 2: properly listened to. So it's weirdly I talk about this.

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Speaker 2: I haven't talked about this a lot, but it makes

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Speaker 2: sense talking about it with you. Like I grew up

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Speaker 2: in a home where I was encouraged to learn how

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Speaker 2: to play instruments, but we never listened to a lot

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Speaker 2: of music.

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Speaker 1: Interesting, So it was more discipline than and enjoyment level.

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Speaker 2: Correct, it was more like an extracurricular academic activity because

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Speaker 2: it would look good on my resume when I applied

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Speaker 2: to a better school later on, and it really hampered

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Speaker 2: my ability to love instruments. And so I grew up

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Speaker 2: playing the piano. I did grade up to grade four

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Speaker 2: in the piano. I did grade five theory.

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Speaker 1: I played percussion all the while not really knowing what

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Speaker 1: listening to music the feeling is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there was no feeling. And then I turned twelve

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Speaker 2: or thirteen when I kind of stopped doing that, and

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Speaker 2: I was introduced to Eminem for the first time through

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Speaker 2: a friends school.

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Speaker 1: So you went from studying an instrument and not really

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Speaker 1: being exposed to the enjoyment of music to listening to Eminem.

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Speaker 2: Yes, literally that was it. That was exactly it.

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Speaker 1: And I know what you're eating any sugar in the

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Speaker 1: house and then eventually, look, here's a sixtier chocolate diccake.

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Speaker 2: Decad and delicious and just yeah. And I remember getting

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Speaker 2: from a guy at school and he had he had

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Speaker 2: like the he had the Infinite album too, which was, yeah,

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Speaker 2: the first one, and I remember putting it on and

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Speaker 2: feeling like such a fan where in a way that

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Speaker 2: I've never you know, felt again, maybe even then that

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Speaker 2: first is so important. But with you, what do you

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Speaker 2: think has changed about your relationship with being a fan?

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Speaker 2: You said you're still a fan, but like, what was

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Speaker 2: it like being a fan back then? And what is

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Speaker 2: it like being a fan back now? When you're so

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Speaker 2: close to the industry, You are the industry in so

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Speaker 2: many ways, you define what takes off, what doesn't like

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Speaker 2: you're so close to it all. What has changed in

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Speaker 2: being a fan?

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Speaker 1: A lot? Nothing? I mean, you know, the simple question

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Speaker 1: is very little. I mean, the distance between who I

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Speaker 1: was in that concert and who I am today is

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Speaker 1: very It's a very short distance. I still get the

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Speaker 1: same sense of I still I can still find myself

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Speaker 1: in that space where I'm lost. You know, I can

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Speaker 1: still put on music and my headphones and go for

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Speaker 1: a walk and end up in floods of tears quietly

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Speaker 1: on my own. You know. It's it's something that is

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Speaker 1: deep affects me deeply, and I haven't had to work

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Speaker 1: to hold on to that. That's how I know I'm

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Speaker 1: in the right place in my life. You know. In

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Speaker 1: terms of the industry side of it, that's a whole

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Speaker 1: other conversation. I Mean, everything's changed there, and I think

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Speaker 1: finding myself in any room or in any seat, or

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Speaker 1: behind any microphone, or in any conversation or in any studio,

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Speaker 1: to me, was always a privilege. I didn't know how

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Speaker 1: to get in those rooms. I didn't know how to

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Speaker 1: do that. I didn't come from a background where the

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Speaker 1: kind of music industry I wanted to move into the

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Speaker 1: area I wanted to move in my life made sense.

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Speaker 1: My dad is from a radio background, so okay, you

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Speaker 1: can see that makes more sense. But that wasn't my

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Speaker 1: intention as a kid. I didn't wake up in want

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Speaker 1: to follow my father's footsteps. He knows this. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be in recording studios and make music my whole life,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know how to get there. And I

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Speaker 1: didn't know what a music industry was. And I mean,

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Speaker 1: there was no music industry really in New Zealand, and

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Speaker 1: some might even argue that there is, but it's specific

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Speaker 1: to that environment. It's not London, it's not New York,

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Speaker 1: it's not Tokyo, it's not Germany wherever. So that is

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Speaker 1: a journey that I can't even put into context myself.

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Speaker 1: And I think you know this more than anyone, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: stay in the moment and absorb the situation, learn and

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Speaker 1: move forward. And I think I was doing that without

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Speaker 1: him realizing it, because I couldn't have charted this path.

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Speaker 2: Well, that makes your journey even more fascinating to me,

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Speaker 2: because you're right, you didn't grow up in a space

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Speaker 2: that naturally lended itself to the career you have today.

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Speaker 2: Do you remember if you could track back for us

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Speaker 2: even before what consciously comes to mind? What was that

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Speaker 2: first step to say I'm going to pursue this, Because

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Speaker 2: I feel today it's really fascinating that there's even more choices.

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Speaker 2: In one sense, there's even more access. But people who

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Speaker 2: are listening today, even myself a few years ago, I

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Speaker 2: found myself having the limiting belief and the hopelessness almost

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Speaker 2: of my dreams really far away. I don't think it's possible.

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Speaker 2: Those kind of things don't happen to people like me.

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Speaker 2: I'm not set up to succeed.

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Speaker 1: Because I think that in that moment in time, and

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Speaker 1: I've felt that many times in my life. I think

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Speaker 1: that what happens is where it are most effective, when

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Speaker 1: we have some kind of singularity to focus on. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's like this is what I love, this is who

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Speaker 1: I love this is the person I most want to

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Speaker 1: have this conversation with in my life right now. This

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Speaker 1: is what I need to do to be healthy. And

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Speaker 1: I think when we're focused on things that are ultimately

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Speaker 1: giving us purpose, we manifest without even realizing it, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I think when we get into that place of

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Speaker 1: hopelessness that you've been, and I've been, and others have

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Speaker 1: been in an r in, it's when we split that

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Speaker 1: singularity up into fifty five things, one hundred things, a

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Speaker 1: thousand things, a million things. At best, they contradict each

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Speaker 1: other or count each other. At worse, they actively fight

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Speaker 1: for your attention, and you can't give your attention to everything.

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Speaker 1: And so that's where you end up just standing still,

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Speaker 1: questioning your own purpose, your own abilities, because it seems

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Speaker 1: hard just to take a step forward because there's so

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Speaker 1: much noise that's around you. When I've been at my

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Speaker 1: most effective and best for myself is when I've been

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Speaker 1: least affected by that noise and the most focused on

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Speaker 1: what I know is moving me emotionally and inspirationally in

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Speaker 1: my life.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: That's I've never heard it put that way, but that

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Speaker 2: resonates deeply. I remember I sat down with one of

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Speaker 2: my spiritual teachers, probably when I was maybe like ten

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Speaker 2: years ago, and I said, I've got all these ideas.

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Speaker 2: I want to do all these things, but I don't

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Speaker 2: know where to start. It was what you just described

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Speaker 2: that like fragmented, distracted, yes, static, static, Yeah. And I

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Speaker 2: said to him, I just I don't know where to start.

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Speaker 2: And he said something beautiful to me. He said, he said,

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Speaker 2: open every door that you possibly can. And then he

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Speaker 2: said the doors that close, let them close, and just

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Speaker 2: keep walking through the ones that remain open. That's amazing

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Speaker 2: And it was the best advice I've ever got in life, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because I felt like all of us were just standing

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Speaker 2: at one door or ten doors, just trying to open

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Speaker 2: all of them.

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Speaker 1: You know. All my wife says to me when I

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Speaker 1: get like that, she's like, pull not literally, and maybe

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Speaker 1: sometimes literally, but she says, pull car over. And what

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Speaker 1: she means is is that just pull the car over.

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Speaker 1: Stop driving in a direction that you think you should

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Speaker 1: go in, because you directionless right now and you're actually

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Speaker 1: possibly driving yourself further away from where you should be.

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Speaker 1: Pull the car over. Stop, let all the cars drive

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Speaker 1: past you, and don't worry about where they're going. Let

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Speaker 1: the traffic go past, you, don't worry about it, just

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Speaker 1: to enjoy the fact that you're actually stopping. Ignore the traffic,

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Speaker 1: ignore everyone else, Focus on where you want to go,

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Speaker 1: Choose your direction, and focus on it. Because right now,

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Speaker 1: and this is I mean, you know, when she's at

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Speaker 1: her most lull, she's like, because right now you're veering

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Speaker 1: all over the freeway. You're like, you have no idea

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Speaker 1: where you're going, and you know it's to me that

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Speaker 1: kind of it speaks a similar truth, which is we're all,

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Speaker 1: in everyday life, entirely capable of just of being distracted

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Speaker 1: and distracting ourselves and allowing us to ourselves to be distracted.

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Speaker 1: And it's a part of life because it's noisy. It's

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Speaker 1: really noisy, And especially the older you get, the more

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Speaker 1: you see, the more you absorb, the more you try

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Speaker 1: to own, the more you try to find yourself through

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Speaker 1: the things you own. This is an awesome space. But

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Speaker 1: you've got stuff in here, right at some point if

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Speaker 1: you leave, you've got to figure out where this stuff

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Speaker 1: goes You take it, do you leave it? These are

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Speaker 1: all decisions, right, everything's a decision. And I think that

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Speaker 1: you know, when we're probably most capable of making the

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Speaker 1: decisions that ultimately charter a path of true holistic and

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Speaker 1: spiritual and also just ambition level value is when we're

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Speaker 1: focused on simplicity, simple things. Yeah, it's true, simple doors,

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Speaker 1: It's true.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's what I've found really attractive is a

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Speaker 2: peaceful mind and an internal simplicity allows for navigation of

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Speaker 2: external chaos.

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Speaker 1: It makes us more capable of moving through that thrash.

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Speaker 2: Yes, correct, Yeah, Like I've always thought about what I've

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Speaker 2: tried to work on a lot, and I work on

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Speaker 2: every day because I'm not there. Yeah, is to refine

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Speaker 2: my internal intention to be so simple and clear that

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Speaker 2: then the external complexity which naturally comes with being an

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Speaker 2: entrepreneur and running a business and everything else that comes

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Speaker 2: with trying to make an impact and and trying to

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Speaker 2: provide for your family and the people you love. But

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Speaker 2: it's like the reason for doing it is just one

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Speaker 2: little dark.

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Speaker 1: Oh d, my most indecisive. I probably had a few

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Speaker 1: nights drinking some wine. My work is really busy, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not really seeing I'm not I'm not seeing it.

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Speaker 1: I'm not seeing the playbook for that week. And someone

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Speaker 1: can call me and ask me the most simple thing,

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Speaker 1: and I can't make that decision. And that's it's because

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Speaker 1: to your point, I've clouded my own ability to be decisive.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes it's not it's not it's not my decisions.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just stuff going off around you. I Mean,

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Speaker 1: the thing is as well about about trying to find

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Speaker 1: that internal balance, that clarity internally is that that's where

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Speaker 1: the most noise is. I mean that this all pales

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Speaker 1: to that. Like, think about every experience and every memory

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Speaker 1: and everything and whether it's trauma or joy that we're

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Speaker 1: absorbing all the time. Like that's why I love therapy

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Speaker 1: so much. And if you can do it and you

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Speaker 1: can afford it, and it's something that you would are

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Speaker 1: willing to try, I'm a big believer in it because

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Speaker 1: it's to me, just creates space. It just helps you,

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Speaker 1: like down like thirty percent of the trash and now

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Speaker 1: I have space to fill it with stuff based on

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Speaker 1: my learnings and what I truly know about myself that

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Speaker 1: is a value to me, versus the stuff that I

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Speaker 1: either inherited that I never wanted in the first place,

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Speaker 1: or stuff that I thought I wanted that it's not

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Speaker 1: actually good for me, Like just get rid all that, right,

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Speaker 1: and it's a good, great way to clear out. And

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Speaker 1: because that is to me the noisiest for me, that

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Speaker 1: is way noisier than what's outside this door way noisier.

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Speaker 1: So you say you're not there yet, I'm never going

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Speaker 1: to get there, Jay, But I love I love the process.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the pursuit. But I like the way you

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Speaker 2: describe therapy as a clear out because I don't think

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Speaker 2: that's how it's often always seen. And it's really interesting, right.

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Speaker 2: We all know I need to clean my wardrobe out

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Speaker 2: and need to get rid of some of my clothes,

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Speaker 2: and it feels good when you do it, and it

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Speaker 2: feels good when you do, but we don't think about

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Speaker 2: our thoughts that way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And we are finite. We have finite space. I

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Speaker 1: think we have finite ability to be able to process,

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Speaker 1: certainly emotionally, and the way that we process information and

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Speaker 1: how it makes us feel a lot of our feelings

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Speaker 1: are wasted, are a waste, Yeah, because we get driven

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Speaker 1: by ego, We get or it takes us back to

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Speaker 1: a time in our life we weren't happy, or it

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Speaker 1: triggers something that we're as unresolved, and our feelings then

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Speaker 1: dictate our actions. But if we're not creating space for

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Speaker 1: us to be able to fill ourselves with good things,

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Speaker 1: then then our feelings sometimes again, our feelings just won't

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Speaker 1: be They won't honor us.

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Speaker 2: I think, wow, yeah, that you've reminded me of a

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Speaker 2: study that I read a while ago that said, and

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Speaker 2: it may be different now because of just how fast

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Speaker 2: things are changing, but it was saying that the human

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Speaker 2: brain has the ability to compute like seventy four gigabytes

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Speaker 2: of daya or a day, but we just filling it

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Speaker 2: up with like we're easily consuming that much that isn't selected,

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Speaker 2: cleared out, curated, it's just being filled up with what's

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Speaker 2: coming back.

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Speaker 1: And we're always going to have to because we can't

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Speaker 1: like control the fallacy, and we can't dictate how our

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Speaker 1: life works in terms of who gives us what information

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Speaker 1: and how we process things and who tries to you know,

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Speaker 1: how we unload energy on each other, and that's just

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Speaker 1: part of being a human and living in a society.

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Speaker 1: But what it does allow us to do is to

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Speaker 1: be conscious of that and to allow ourselves the way

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Speaker 1: I always look at it as like a meter in

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Speaker 1: the red right, if you look at this old kind

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Speaker 1: of like I don't know if the ge gigameters whatever, whatever.

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Speaker 1: You've got the needle here, and the last kind of

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Speaker 1: ten percent is red. It's always red, yes, yes, yes, right,

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Speaker 1: the rest of it's white. Everything's great bad, oh good bad, right,

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Speaker 1: And if you haven't got the ability to be able

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Speaker 1: to process it properly, then then even if you wake

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Speaker 1: up in the morning and you sort of back to

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Speaker 1: sort of thirty because you're restless, you've got some anxiety

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Speaker 1: when you wake up, if you haven't got the space

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Speaker 1: figured out the smallest thing, and you back in the red,

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Speaker 1: what I try to do is have it go like

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Speaker 1: that and then when it gets to about seventy, figure

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Speaker 1: out how I get it back down to thirty. So

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Speaker 1: if it does get in the red, I've just I've

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Speaker 1: got more of an ability to process and to manage

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Speaker 1: those feelings.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, definitely one of the things I met. I

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Speaker 2: wanted to go back a couple of steps with something

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Speaker 2: you mentioned that was beautiful where you described your trance

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Speaker 2: like experience almost of being lost, and it reminded me

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Speaker 2: of the visual which I think Baz Lehrman did a

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Speaker 2: great job of in the New Elvis movie, like when

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Speaker 2: you see.

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Speaker 1: It like the movie.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I really like the visual storytelling of it. I

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Speaker 2: thought it was and the music was spectacular. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: thought the scenes of young Elvis having those trance like

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Speaker 2: experiences was really really special. And I wonder what did

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Speaker 2: it feel like when maybe were you were DJing, you

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Speaker 2: were creating that you saw people having that kind of

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Speaker 2: experience to you. How was it like almost being on

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Speaker 2: the opposite end.

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Speaker 1: Well, the reason I chose to DJA in the first

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Speaker 1: place was because I think there's always been performative part

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Speaker 1: of my nature that I sort of turn till my

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Speaker 1: back's too strong a term. But as I found myself

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Speaker 1: in the in the media side of things, and I

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Speaker 1: guess connecting the artists to the fan, which I love

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Speaker 1: to do, it mean, I didn't really have so much

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Speaker 1: of an outlet for that until I got to radio,

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Speaker 1: and then I guess that started to come out in

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Speaker 1: the way I broadcast, in the way that I played records.

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Speaker 1: It was very I was very sort of like and

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Speaker 1: I still am, but very much during my time at

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Speaker 1: the BBC, I was very active with the music. I

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Speaker 1: liked to use effex and reverbs and sing along with

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Speaker 1: the songs and pull them up and explode them and

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Speaker 1: in them early, and I just saw them as things

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Speaker 1: to kind of play with rather than just press play,

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Speaker 1: sit back, think of something to say, wait for the

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Speaker 1: song to end, say it. That is actually the most

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Speaker 1: respectful way to treat music in the media. And my

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Speaker 1: favorite DJs do that. Not all of them, but some

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Speaker 1: of my favorite DJs are the ones who pull a

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Speaker 1: song up and play it five times in thirty minutes

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Speaker 1: and scream over it and get me excited and make

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Speaker 1: me connect to the music in a different way. That's

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Speaker 1: an example of the performative side of who I am.

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Speaker 1: And so I started to get that outlet and radio

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Speaker 1: and then and then I was like, well, you know,

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Speaker 1: I miss being on stage. I missed up being in

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Speaker 1: front of crowds. How would I carve up up space

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Speaker 1: for myself as a DJ? And when I started to

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Speaker 1: sort of carve out my idea as a DJ, I

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Speaker 1: was trying to do so in a way that was

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Speaker 1: built out of the kind of chaos that I love

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Speaker 1: about music, the genre and indefinable genre violence of the clash,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't know what they make half the time?

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Speaker 1: Right the way the bomb squad made public enemy records

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Speaker 1: and ice CBE records and just like whoa is that

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Speaker 1: a chainsaw? Like what's going on? Like how did the

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Speaker 1: young on? What do they just do? Did they stop

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Speaker 1: that the way the Beastie Boys did it with pause boutique?

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Speaker 1: You know, you know, And I got all my stuff,

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Speaker 1: I'm going back to New York City. What the heck?

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Speaker 1: I do believe I've had enough? Do do do do?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: What are they dropping in? Where are they going? What's happening?

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Speaker 1: Why is this happening? What's going on? Like it's just

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Speaker 1: full of surprises, left turns, right turns. The whole thing

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Speaker 1: is just completely predictable. And I tried to do that.

435
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 1: So I say all that to say that I had

436
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 1: to learn how to put people in a chance, because

437
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 1: most of the time I think I was just hurting them.

438
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 1: There's sensibilities at least, you know. I was just like

439
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 1: that was just like whoa. And some kids got it

440
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,120
Speaker 1: and we're like this is awesome. And some kids were like, man,

441
00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:20,000
Speaker 1: I just want a house mix, like you just like

442
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 1: mix something and blend something, you know, So I mean

443
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,920
Speaker 1: my I mean for me, like the joy I got

444
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,439
Speaker 1: out when I was djaing of watching the way people

445
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:32,719
Speaker 1: reacted to music, was just realizing that in that in

446
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 1: that moment in time, whatever else was going And I'm

447
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,199
Speaker 1: sure every artist would tell you this. Who gets to

448
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,920
Speaker 1: step on a stage and do anything in that environment

449
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 1: knowing that in that moment in time, whatever else has

450
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 1: happened before or they're worried about happening after, doesn't really

451
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 1: matter that as far as being in the moment is concerned.

452
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,480
Speaker 1: You get to share in that with people, and you

453
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 1: get to try to create an environment without matter. And

454
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,639
Speaker 1: every DJ that I've ever played with or toured with

455
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,159
Speaker 1: the greats of all time right through to you know,

456
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 1: my friends, that's what really is that if you boil

457
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 1: it down to it to its primary source, I think

458
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 1: it's about creating a community experience that exists in the moment,

459
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,639
Speaker 1: that is free of the thrash of life and is

460
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:25,359
Speaker 1: really there to just inspire people to go into that

461
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,399
Speaker 1: space that I was in as a kid. Yeah, that

462
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 1: and not have to socialize with people, which if you're

463
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:33,440
Speaker 1: socially anxious like me, then be a DJ. It protects

464
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,320
Speaker 1: you you never to speak to anyone needing again for

465
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 1: the rest of your life. You don't want to, you know,

466
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 1: what expects you to.

467
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 2: I was going to ask you that, like you you

468
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 2: touched on like the importance of therapy and you're saying

469
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 2: that's worked for you. What was it initially that guided

470
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,120
Speaker 2: you in that direction? A how did you why did

471
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 2: you specifically choose to therapy as a modality to support

472
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 2: you in whatever you're looking at, and what were you

473
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 2: looking for from it?

474
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 1: Parenthood? You know, I became a father, and I realized

475
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 1: in that moment that I was ill prepared to be

476
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 1: to share my best, and so I had to do

477
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:15,920
Speaker 1: the work in order to be at my best. And

478
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 1: I'm incredibly grateful to my wife and to my friends

479
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 1: and my family for encouraging me to do that. At

480
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 1: the time, I was at my lowest point, I think,

481
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 1: and it was really hard. But in doing that work,

482
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 1: my life just changed for the better in every way,

483
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 1: and ultimately, you know, gave me the ability and the

484
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 1: tools to be able to like and love myself enough

485
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,439
Speaker 1: to love the people that I love more than anything

486
00:22:54,440 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 1: in the world completely and without compromise. I think if

487
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 1: I hadn't done that work, I think I would have

488
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 1: always either felt compromised and my ability to love others,

489
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 1: certainly love my kids and my wife, and be loved,

490
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 1: and I think that, you know, that is the thing

491
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 1: that really ultimately makes me the saddest is thinking back

492
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 1: to that alternative and how that feels for people. I

493
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:25,400
Speaker 1: think to be loved and to love completely is the purpose.

494
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 1: I think that is it. Someone who is feeling that

495
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 1: sense of love and commitment has to let go of

496
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 1: us to exist, and we have to let go to

497
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: move on, and somewhere in the middle, it's just about

498
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,200
Speaker 1: the ability to be loved and to love.

499
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,199
Speaker 2: Do you think that you fell out of love with

500
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 2: yourself or that you were never in love with yourself

501
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 2: in the first.

502
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,719
Speaker 1: Wooh, I don't know. That's a great question. I don't know.

503
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,439
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I was definitely loved

504
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,640
Speaker 1: my mom and my dad and my brother. I mean,

505
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 1: I come from a very loving family. But I think

506
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,959
Speaker 1: that it was a compromised environment in terms of it

507
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: was a divorced environment. And so you see sides of

508
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 1: relationships and life and the family structure that are shocking

509
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: to you as a kid, and it's hard to figure

510
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,680
Speaker 1: out what your identity is to yourself, let alone what

511
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 1: you need to be for everybody else. You know. I

512
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 1: wanted to fix it and I couldn't. I didn't have

513
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 1: the tools. I was too young. I don't know what

514
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:29,159
Speaker 1: to do. And I guess somewhere along the line, I

515
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 1: just just lots touch with the simple ambitions of life,

516
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,679
Speaker 1: which are like put you try to put yourself in

517
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,120
Speaker 1: an environment which is as joyful as possible, around people

518
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 1: that you love, and just try to find as much

519
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 1: balance as you can. And I just think, I, yeah,

520
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 1: I don't know, man. I mean, I definitely came from

521
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,199
Speaker 1: a background that was it wasn't as similar to in

522
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: terms of the cause and effect as billions of people.

523
00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:00,199
Speaker 1: I mean, relationships start, relationships end. I love my parents.

524
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 1: In the end, it was the right decision for them.

525
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 1: It was very tough for me as a kid at

526
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 1: that moment in time, and I think what I had

527
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: to do was take responsibility for that, rather than either

528
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 1: ignore it or project some kind of really pointless blame

529
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 1: on a scenario that was completely out of my control.

530
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, And so the only way I could

531
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 1: really sort of the only point in my life I

532
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,199
Speaker 1: could do that was when I realized that I had

533
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: something that was more important than the blame or more

534
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,880
Speaker 1: important than the ignoring, and that was being a dad.

535
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: It's like, all right, like I need to take responsibility

536
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 1: for how I'm processing this or not. Otherwise this beautiful

537
00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: future is I'm not going to get the most out

538
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: of it, and neither are they.

539
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 2: What kind of dad do you want to be in? Why?

540
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 1: I want to be a father that and hope I

541
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 1: am a father that provides our kids with a sense

542
00:25:55,440 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 1: of unconditional love, A very trusting father who really leans

543
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,600
Speaker 1: into the principles that I hold dear, which are you know,

544
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 1: just love and support and honesty, and I you know,

545
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,679
Speaker 1: I just I want our kids to know that, and

546
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:14,120
Speaker 1: they do that. I'm happy if they're happy, and I'm

547
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 1: I want them to work hard, and I want them

548
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 1: to be focused on that. And if they're lucky enough

549
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 1: to find something they love, which both of them seem

550
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 1: to have done, I want them to know that there's

551
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,360
Speaker 1: no substitute for the graft and for the work, and

552
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 1: you know, for the dedication and being respectful and of

553
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,160
Speaker 1: your opportunities and making the most of them and keeping

554
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: a keen, very sharp radar for when the door opens

555
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: ever so slightly. Know how to walk in and know

556
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 1: how to stay. But equally, I just want them to

557
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 1: be happy, and I want to be someone who they feel,

558
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,119
Speaker 1: like I said, they feel unconditionally understood.

559
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 2: That takes a lot of work on your part.

560
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 1: Especially considering that I didn't even understand myself. So but

561
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: I'm very lucky. I mean, if we're going to go there,

562
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 1: we'll just go there. Like I you know, I have

563
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,360
Speaker 1: this incredible partner for life and my wife who has

564
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 1: been I don't know how to tell you, man, I mean,

565
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,360
Speaker 1: she's just incredible and.

566
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,719
Speaker 2: Sounds it for sure. Yeah, I mean you get it,

567
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 2: even through the advice that you said to you, but

568
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 2: you get it.

569
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 1: But you get it. You get it. You find someone

570
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: in your life that makes you better, and then you

571
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 1: start to figure out how you can make them better

572
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: because it can't go one way. And then you've got it.

573
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 1: Then you've got something special.

574
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, my wife is exposed to me flaws that I

575
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 2: would have hidden for so long from the world because

576
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,919
Speaker 2: I could. And then all of a sudden, in a

577
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 2: very non judgmental and non critical way, someone helps you

578
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:41,520
Speaker 2: realize not even it's so subconscious as well, it's not

579
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 2: even like a teacher. It's not like having a coach

580
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:47,919
Speaker 2: or a guide or someone who's telling you or showing you.

581
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 2: It's just someone who effortlessly reveals to you parts of

582
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:54,680
Speaker 2: yourself that you know they're the only one that sees

583
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 2: it well.

584
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: Love is an unspoken language a lot time. I mean

585
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,640
Speaker 1: that's why families, if you have a very loving unit

586
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 1: around you, you were able to communicate without saying anything.

587
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,360
Speaker 1: And I think in a different way when you when

588
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: you develop your own family, your own relationships that you

589
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 1: know ultimately grow with you over the course of your life.

590
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 1: It becomes more of an individual experience that builds from

591
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 1: within that out. The language changes again, but it's still

592
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,880
Speaker 1: an unspoken thing. And how did you meet? Oh? Wow?

593
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: I mean Cara and I met when we were kids,

594
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 1: and you know, I always say it was love of

595
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 1: f a sight for me. Just took you like ten

596
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: years to figure it out. But we weren't we went

597
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 1: together for that time. We just new Zealand small and

598
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 1: we knew each other in certain circles and we were

599
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 1: just kids growing up and running around. And then I

600
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: moved to London and she followed about six to eight

601
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,480
Speaker 1: months after that, just on her own and just looked

602
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: me up because we knew each other from back back

603
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 1: in the day and back home, and she didn't really

604
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: know anyone out there. And she's like, hey, I'm out

605
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 1: in London if you want to get a beer, And

606
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 1: it's a true story. We went for a beer at

607
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 1: a pub which I think it's called the Famous Cock.

608
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: I mean there's a lot of cocks in London that

609
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 1: serve beer. Yes, right, there's famous cocks, and there's roosters

610
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 1: and cocks, and there's like, you know, the Thames on

611
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: Henley Cock and there's lots of cocks. So we went

612
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 1: to one of those cocks, I think on Regent Street

613
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 1: and it was me and I hope she wasn't gonna

614
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: be telling you this, but I'm sure she wouldn't because

615
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: it's a great footnote in our story. It was me

616
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 1: and a good friend of ours who still is a

617
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 1: good friend of ours called Who's and Kat Deely, who

618
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 1: I knew from MTV, who was just getting her break

619
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 1: in MTV and doing some great stuff as even as

620
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: a young person on TV, and so we all went

621
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 1: for a pint and that's how reconnected with her, and

622
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: then from there our story started to unfold and would

623
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 1: have to drink wine to tell her tell you the

624
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: rest of that, but you know it was just long

625
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: and brilliant and you know, unique, like everyone's story. But yeah,

626
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 1: I mean, I've known who's I mean, I wish joke

627
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 1: I had to move halfway around the world to marry

628
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 1: someone I'd known most of my life from home.

629
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 2: When you've known someone for that long, I always wonder

630
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 2: how you allow that growth on both sides, because I

631
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 2: guess when you've known someone for that long, you've you've

632
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 2: been three different people or at least more of who

633
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 2: you are, and she's becoming more of who she really is. Like,

634
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 2: how have you continued because you said you've been over

635
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 2: together for over two decades.

636
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: Or yeah, nearly twenty four years?

637
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 2: We yeah, married for yeah twenty four years? Been married,

638
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 2: you said exactly, which is a really long time. Congratulations?

639
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 2: Like how was that conscious and intentional? Or you've both

640
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 2: just been.

641
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 1: Flowing stay together that long?

642
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 2: To stay together? But more importantly, it seems, and it

643
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 2: sounds from what I'm hearing, that you've kind of grown

644
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 2: together during that time. How the growth?

645
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: I think you can stay together unless you grow together,

646
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 1: Otherwise you grow apart. Well, you know, we got we

647
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 1: got married quickly. You know, we were together and it

648
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is meant to be. And then

649
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 1: for one reason or another, our marriage was really dictated

650
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 1: by other things. It was like a visa issues and

651
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 1: she'll have to go home, and because you know we would,

652
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 1: we didn't. We didn't have a I could stay in London,

653
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 1: she couldn't. And so you know, it really came down

654
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: to like, look, if there's a future for this, then

655
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 1: this has to be the only way forward. And so

656
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: we got married and it was in a registry office

657
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 1: and with two witnesses, you know, and it was short

658
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 1: of telling our parents, which we did about two weeks beforehand.

659
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: I mean, it would have been and we would have eloped.

660
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 1: I mean, it was it was so fast, and you know,

661
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 1: I think both of us felt like it was forever.

662
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 1: But I think it's kind of too simplistic to say

663
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,479
Speaker 1: that we were dead, you know. I think we were

664
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: just trying to keep it going.

665
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

666
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 1: I think we were just like, look, this is really great.

667
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 1: We don't know what the future holds, but if you

668
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: have to leave and I stay, it's going to make

669
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: it that much harder for us to find out and

670
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 1: in a way that works for the kind of people

671
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 1: that we are. I mean, not to speak for her,

672
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 1: I'm very conscious not to do that because she's her

673
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: own person, But you know, I think I think both

674
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: of us just liked finding out and we're still finding out,

675
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: and I think that's what's cool about it is that

676
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: we didn't go and do it with some kind of

677
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 1: major pressure, with no disrespect. I've been some incredible weddings,

678
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:57,959
Speaker 1: and I think you should be entitled to celebrate your

679
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 1: union however you want. But for us not feeling there

680
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 1: were one hundred and fifty pairs of eyes on us,

681
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: you know, like this is for life everybody, Like, I mean,

682
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 1: it just it just suited us to just get going,

683
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: just get to work. Like we just work at one

684
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,479
Speaker 1: day and we're like, let's just get to work, and

685
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 1: we have and we've been working at it ever since.

686
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 1: And it takes work. But as someone said to me once,

687
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 1: you know, even even the days when it seems like

688
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 1: it's really hard work, the next day, like anything in life,

689
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:26,080
Speaker 1: the hard work pays off.

690
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely so. Just so you know, we had four

691
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 2: hundred people our wedding, and I'll tell you why because

692
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 2: in an Indian household, your parents are obliged to invite

693
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 2: every person that's ever invited them to their kids wedding.

694
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 3: So you could literally you could start the ball rolling

695
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 3: early and just invite everybody, whether you know them or not,

696
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 3: and then just be like, I am set for the

697
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 3: rest of my life. I have so many great experiences.

698
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 1: I'm going to hell.

699
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 2: Literally and then we get better. Right. So, literally, my

700
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 2: parents and my life have a list of people that

701
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 2: have to be invited to the wedding because been to

702
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 2: their kids' weddings, love that, and so half the wedding

703
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 2: list is like we don't know, Like my wife still

704
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 2: talks about like walking around our reception alone. Mom's like,

705
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 2: I have no idea who this person is. So and

706
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 2: that's small for an Indian wedding. Like I have friends

707
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 2: who had like five hundred and one thousand people at

708
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 2: their wedding. We were somewhat given it away.

709
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 1: It's not dissimilar because it's not like you're assigning like

710
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: some kind of emotional contract for these people you know.

711
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it's not.

712
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 1: It just comes down to it just comes down to

713
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 1: the union, to the to the team, and it's like

714
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 1: it either works for it doesn't. I don't hold my parents.

715
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 1: I don't have any ill will against toward my parents

716
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: or hold them responsible for the end of their marriage.

717
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: It just it ceased to exist, and it happens all

718
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: the time. I've got good friends going through it right now.

719
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:46,480
Speaker 2: Same. Yeah.

720
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 1: I just think for us, we try to keep things

721
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: really simple. We make each other laugh like a lot,

722
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 1: and if it's not the same thing, she gives that

723
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 1: to me like she dishes out a lot, you know,

724
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 1: like you're a moron kind of stuff, you know, and

725
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,640
Speaker 1: I am. So it's easy. It's an easy joke. And

726
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: then I think beyond that, we like each other's company,

727
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 1: and we know that we're not always going to agree,

728
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 1: but we know that it's not gonna it's not going

729
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 1: to get in between the simple principles that keep us together.

730
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: She's just smarter, better, way hard you know. It's just

731
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 1: just I definitely married that.

732
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 2: It's beautiful. You talked about having social anxiety and you know,

733
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,280
Speaker 2: being a DJA and talking about how we were joking

734
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 2: about how it's easier to get away with that. But

735
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 2: obviously in your career there's been so many opportunities, as

736
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 2: you said, with your children. You want them to be

737
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 2: able to walk through the door and stay there, and

738
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 2: that requires one to kind of negotiate through that social anxiety. Sometimes.

739
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 2: I'm sure you've had to walk into the rooms and

740
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 2: pitch yourself and hold your own and go and then

741
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,800
Speaker 2: stand your ground and whatever it may be. Talk to lawyers,

742
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 2: and you know, there's so much to it when you're

743
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 2: in and I feel like there's so many people who

744
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 2: are listening and watching where social anxiety is at a

745
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,280
Speaker 2: point where it cripples them, It stops them from walking

746
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 2: into rooms. Starting that conversation, what was what were you

747
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,720
Speaker 2: saying to yourself? What were you working on in order

748
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 2: to move through some of those uncomfortable experiences.

749
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 1: Case by case. You know, my friend was having a

750
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,240
Speaker 1: function the other night, beautiful function, a total reason to celebrate,

751
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 1: and I nearly was like, I can't go. There wasn't

752
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: any valid reason for me to not go. In my

753
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 1: mind from a cerebral kind of oh that makes sense.

754
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,400
Speaker 1: None of it made sense. And then there are times

755
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 1: when you know I'm skipping out the door. It just depends,

756
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 1: I mean for me in terms of like breaking it

757
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 1: up into two things, because you make you made some

758
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: good points, like in terms of like the social side

759
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 1: of it. I try to be kind to myself. I

760
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 1: try to allow myself the space to make a decision

761
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,960
Speaker 1: that's as pressure free as possible, and then more often

762
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: than not, I find good, valid reasons to continue forward.

763
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 1: I feel that if I apply too much pressure on myself,

764
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 1: most of it's unreal, and then I'll end up just

765
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: not going anyway, and then I'll feel bad because the

766
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 1: unreal will evaporate and I realized that I made a

767
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 1: decision that wasn't based in the real. So I try

768
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 1: to I try to I know myself enough to get

769
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:16,879
Speaker 1: a heait of that and just be like, you don't

770
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: have to do anything, don't go. And once I just

771
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,839
Speaker 1: tell myself that, I'm like, oh, well, there's a couple

772
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: of good reasons to go, you know, and I start

773
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 1: to bring myself forward on that. In terms of the

774
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 1: work side of it and getting in the room. I

775
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 1: don't want to tell you. I mean a few times

776
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 1: when i've I know that I've had to step up

777
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: and do something that's ultimately helped change the shape of

778
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 1: my journey and therefore my family's journey or whatever. That's

779
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: when you start getting into the intangible bit for me,

780
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 1: into the sort of the magic of the moment and

781
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 1: what makes performers, athletes, surgeons. I mean, I'm going lofty,

782
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:58,280
Speaker 1: but anybody, I mean, heroes, people do out of body things.

783
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,759
Speaker 1: It's nowhere near on the same level. And I'm not

784
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 1: trying to put like getting in a room and pitching

785
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 1: a bit of shit at the same thing, but it

786
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: exists in the same space of like, I don't quite

787
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: know why what's motivating this extra gear, but I'm using it,

788
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 1: and I think true greatness comes from people who know

789
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 1: how to access it more consciously than I do at

790
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: this point in my life. You know, you're talking about

791
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 1: you know, the Michael Jordan's of this world, who can,

792
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: the Beyonces, the sword who are like I can. You know,

793
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,359
Speaker 1: they don't shy away from the occasion. They level up,

794
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 1: they see it, they know what it is, they understand.

795
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,240
Speaker 1: And I'm just talking about the arts now. I respectfu

796
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 1: to everybody else, like, because if I start, you know,

797
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: going and apologizing for every other outlet or occupation or

798
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: thing in life that's more important than the arts to

799
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: everyone else, then I'm just going to end up in

800
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 1: the like the future position, and this podcast is going

801
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 1: to be over, so I'm just focusing.

802
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 2: Based on your background.

803
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 1: I know how it goes. I know how it goes.

804
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:52,839
Speaker 1: It's more important things in life than music and the arts.

805
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: I get it, and I respect it, but for me,

806
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:55,880
Speaker 1: that's the world I'm in, so I'm just going to

807
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 1: focus on that. So in the performing arts, you know,

808
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 1: I watch I watch people all the time step up

809
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,839
Speaker 1: further than they have before, and I just think it's

810
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 1: something in us that is there, and sometimes the occasion

811
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 1: requires it, and sometimes you meet someone who has found

812
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 1: a way to harness it. And that is when you

813
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,439
Speaker 1: start dealing with like the greats, like the people who

814
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: just they see it, they manifest it, it happens, but

815
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:28,360
Speaker 1: then they recognize that it's happening, and then they recognize

816
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,759
Speaker 1: the feeling, and then they remember that feeling, and then

817
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,320
Speaker 1: they practice that feeling and then they get the ball

818
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 1: in with point three seconds to go every time, and

819
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: that's like, that's when you're dealing with just another level.

820
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 1: I did not there, but I've had a few moments

821
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 1: in my life when that gear is kicked in and

822
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 1: I love it. I mean, you know, the job I'm

823
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,359
Speaker 1: in now I mean I nearly got on a plane

824
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:53,839
Speaker 1: and flew home because I just was like, I don't

825
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 1: know where this is going, and I'm uhappy, I don't think.

826
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I can do this. And I

827
00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 1: had a big meeting the next day, and when the

828
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 1: next day, I had a great meeting and it changed everything.

829
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,359
Speaker 1: So who knows, man, I mean, it just comes out

830
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:05,160
Speaker 1: of nowhere. But I'm more interested in the people who

831
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,439
Speaker 1: just somehow know how to like kick that shit into action.

832
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:11,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, because they exist, Yeah, absolutely, they exist. Yeah. There's

833
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 2: a beautiful book called Flow. Don't know if you've ever

834
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,640
Speaker 2: come across it. I forget the author's name. It's like

835
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 2: me Hi. I think it's a name. If I mess

836
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 2: it up, everyone, please do not be mad at me.

837
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 2: I think it's cheek sent me high. I think that's

838
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 2: how it said, me hichick sent me high. The books

839
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 2: called flow, And that's what you're describing, this flow state

840
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:36,720
Speaker 2: that people experience where you see freestylers, rappers, musicians, you know, athletes, artists,

841
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 2: where time stops but it's really fast and no one

842
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 2: knows what's happening. Like it almost feels like time slows

843
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 2: down and speeds up at the same time, I've.

844
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 1: Had a couple of conversations in that state, like on

845
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 1: the record, like like interview situations where it's like there's

846
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 1: been such a nice mood in the room, and I

847
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 1: feel that it's such a strong like to and fro going

848
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 1: on and the Chris and the answer and then the

849
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 1: question of the answer and it's just been and I'm

850
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,359
Speaker 1: like wow, and then someone's like, Okay, time it's been

851
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,839
Speaker 1: going for like two hours. I'm like it was like that. Yeah,

852
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 1: I mean, you must have done it so lovely. It's

853
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: really cool when it happens like that too, because it's

854
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,919
Speaker 1: human experience for somebody else, so it feels really nice.

855
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 1: I also, you know, my social anxiety. I think I

856
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 1: think it's it's it's unique for everybody. I mean, I

857
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: have no problem walking in a room and being around people,

858
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 1: But there's a difference between being present and fitting in

859
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 1: or playing a role that you think is going to

860
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 1: serve a purpose for that environment or that party or whatever,

861
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 1: and just being able to be comfortable in yourself. That's

862
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. Like I'm not always and very

863
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 1: often entirely comfortable. I just I just figured out how

864
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 1: to maintain, but there's always something in me that's I

865
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 1: felt that, like my skin's a little bit too tight,

866
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 1: or my brain's not really focused on what someone's asking me.

867
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 1: And I, yes, I guess that's what I'm that's my

868
00:40:58,239 --> 00:40:59,320
Speaker 1: form of social anxiety.

869
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think I find that most people at events,

870
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 2: especially in the entertainment and the arts, feel that way.

871
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 2: I don't know many people who don't feel.

872
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 1: That way or well these that's good to hear, definitely.

873
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, whether it's at an award show or whether it's

874
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 2: out of red carpet or whenever I speak to people

875
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 2: behind the scenes, that's the number one emotion that people

876
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 2: are experiencing, and everyone's feeling it in a different way.

877
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 1: What do you think that is?

878
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:26,320
Speaker 2: I think it's because the way events are organized, they're

879
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 2: not crafted for community and connection. Yeah, so the challenge

880
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 2: is that the way it's been built is not set

881
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 2: up for people to come in and feel. So I

882
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 2: went to one place that was I went to can

883
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,879
Speaker 2: Lions last week. I'd never been to the Lines Festival before.

884
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,360
Speaker 2: It was my first time there Bindacan, and it was

885
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:44,879
Speaker 2: crafted for community, Like I felt like you could walk

886
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 2: into any space you connect with people, you could hang

887
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:49,799
Speaker 2: out with, people, you bumped into, people walking in and

888
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 2: out of stuff. No one had an ego where people

889
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 2: were like, you know, on a high horse.

890
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 1: Or maybe that's part of an evolutionary state. I mean,

891
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,800
Speaker 1: we were talking about seventy five years of that first.

892
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, And maybe we need to actually

893
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 1: just start looking at every single micro experience rather than

894
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: like we're all going to evolve, like something's gonna happen,

895
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 1: We're all going to evolve. It's like maybe we are,

896
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 1: and maybe it is just like right down to the

897
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,359
Speaker 1: smallest thing, like an event like that, we're being able

898
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 1: to walk in there and for you to feel connected

899
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 1: to people and like you came away with something that

900
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:16,880
Speaker 1: was meaningful, not just valuable. Maybe that's that's going to

901
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 1: inspire people to do to do it in multiple different places.

902
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 1: I mean I would like that. I've gotten bitter at

903
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 1: just maintaining.

904
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:24,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, like when.

905
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 1: You're younger, it's like, oh my gosh, everything risks on

906
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 1: this night, and then after a while you're like, can

907
00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 1: we go?

908
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,920
Speaker 2: You know, that's exactly what it is. You're spot on,

909
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 2: That's exactly what it is like when you first I

910
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 2: remember that when I first moved to LA, I went

911
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 2: somewhere it was like, oh my god, if I don't

912
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,760
Speaker 2: make this move right now at the end of my career,

913
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 2: and then like years later you're like, actually, it didn't

914
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 2: affect it.

915
00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:45,879
Speaker 1: If someone asked a friend of mine who was working

916
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 1: with at the time, someone in the industry was like,

917
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 1: is that a friend of success when I first got

918
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 1: to l because I wasn't in sixty five parties a

919
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: night running around doing it everything, And then.

920
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And my goal has become very clearly that

921
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 2: my intention is always like, can I find one person

922
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 2: tonight who I can bear my soul? You have one

923
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 2: person that I can fully be myself, because then that

924
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 2: that event, I've fully been myself.

925
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 1: So how do you know who that person is? I

926
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:08,400
Speaker 1: know it can we changes, but is there a constant

927
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 1: to that.

928
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,799
Speaker 2: You can get a sense pretty quick obviously, and like

929
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 2: we're saying, it's respective to what you personally are interested in.

930
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:15,520
Speaker 2: So for me, I'm I'm hoping that I can have

931
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 2: a conversation like I'm having with you today, which is meaningful,

932
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,879
Speaker 2: it's purposeful, it's vulnerable, it's it's open, it's thoughtful, it's

933
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 2: about growth. It's about being better.

934
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 1: But when when I walked in the house today and

935
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 1: we met for the first time and we sort of

936
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,320
Speaker 1: have each other's gaze for sick and it was like,

937
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,360
Speaker 1: all right, cool, we've got this moment here, Like it's

938
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 1: more than just like transactional, Like all right, if we're

939
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: going to do this, let's do this and then's start

940
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 1: and see where this relationship goes in the future. Right,

941
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,439
Speaker 1: it's not just gonna be like good to MILLI podcast next. Yeah,

942
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,359
Speaker 1: Like is that, like, is there a technique to how

943
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,720
Speaker 1: you do how you find people?

944
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say it's a technique. I think it's more

945
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 2: of an intuition, Like I do believe it's energetic as

946
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 2: opposed to like ask these three questions you like. I

947
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 2: don't think I have it like a formula like that,

948
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:59,640
Speaker 2: But I feel like you can usually tell by someone's language,

949
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:03,440
Speaker 2: body language, and emotional languages to whether you're on the

950
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,359
Speaker 2: same frequency or vibration. I find over time, I've been

951
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:11,839
Speaker 2: able to sense that, and I've also realized where your

952
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 2: ego wants to force it with someone because there's personal

953
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 2: gain or.

954
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:18,919
Speaker 1: That's big self away.

955
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can tell when it's like Oh, there actually

956
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 2: isn't a frequency, but I'm pretending there is or hoping

957
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 2: there is, or trying to manufacture it because I think

958
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,760
Speaker 2: this person can do something for me, or I'm useful

959
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:34,360
Speaker 2: to them, or I feel significant because I'm being useful

960
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 2: to them. Yeah.

961
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,319
Speaker 1: I think also realizing that you don't want to be

962
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 1: that to someone, but also someone's trying to be that

963
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 1: to you.

964
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 2: Correct.

965
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 1: It's really important for anybody going into any area of life,

966
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: and it's something that I think people should try to

967
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 1: develop that radar from a young age because it'll save

968
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 1: you so much time and energy. Yeah. Yeah, And also

969
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 1: it's fine to acknowledge that you're doing that to me

970
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 1: and I'm doing that to you because we're in a trade.

971
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 1: That's totally fine. Yes, great work, great things come out

972
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 1: of that, sure. But friendship is different. Like I'm really

973
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 1: realizing how important my friendships are and I'm and there

974
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 1: are multiple types of friendships. There are people I love

975
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 1: to just hang out with and sometimes some of them

976
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: I like to talk industry with the music with, and

977
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:15,480
Speaker 1: they're not the people I'm going to call up and

978
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 1: have a heart to heart with about someone else. And

979
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 1: there are others that you know, I know I can

980
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 1: call up when I'm at a low point or they can

981
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 1: call me, and there is that. I think it's just

982
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 1: understanding that, you know, we all serve a purpose and

983
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 1: if you're in someone's life, you've got a purpose. Just

984
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: understand try to understand what their purpose is. That's what

985
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 1: being thoughtful with your thoughtfulness is to me. Like, maybe

986
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 1: I'm not the person to pick the phone up and

987
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 1: check on someone's well being because that's not the kind

988
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 1: of friend I am to that person. But they have

989
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 1: those friends. Doesn't mean I'm not their friend, correct.

990
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, we have different relationships with different people in

991
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,160
Speaker 2: our life that that serve us in different ways, and

992
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 2: we serve in different ways, and knowing how you do

993
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 2: that for someone is is so important.

994
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,279
Speaker 1: It's really important. And yeah, that's that's a big self

995
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 1: awareness lesson and I think you know, it took me

996
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:58,680
Speaker 1: a while to figure that out. I was always trying

997
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 1: to like be all things to everyone thing. Yeah, for

998
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 1: a lot of my life, trying to fix everything, be

999
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 1: all things, be this, be that, be funny, be caring this,

1000
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 1: like sometimes just be funny or not just try.

1001
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:11,319
Speaker 2: That's a great boy. I love that. Yeah, that's that's

1002
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 2: actually really powerful to think that, Like, I think you're

1003
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 2: so right. We want to be all of ourselves to everyone.

1004
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:19,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, because we're covering all the bases.

1005
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, covering all the bases. Yeah, and we there's that

1006
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 2: subtle ego in like we want to be considered funny

1007
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 2: and this and smart and this.

1008
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 1: So how do you manage your ego in a situation

1009
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: like this where you where you? I mean, you said

1010
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 1: at the very beginning, you have the number one health

1011
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 1: podcast in the world. Congratulations by the way, Like that's

1012
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,320
Speaker 1: that's a real thing to have a number one of anything,

1013
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 1: but to have a number one in an area we're

1014
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,560
Speaker 1: adding so much value and support to people. But the

1015
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:48,320
Speaker 1: very nature of a number one anything is really that's

1016
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 1: just like you know, Bourbon for the ego, right, It's

1017
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 1: like number one is like it's very nature is connected

1018
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 1: to an ego experience. How do you continue to build

1019
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 1: around success but manage what's your relationship like with your

1020
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:03,640
Speaker 1: ego in this environment?

1021
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:07,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a I would say it's a constant conversation

1022
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,680
Speaker 2: on a daily basis between my conscious self and my

1023
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 2: ego self. I think that it's something I have to

1024
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 2: be vigilant of on a daily basis because of the

1025
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 2: world we live in and the environment we're in. Just

1026
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,919
Speaker 2: someone that I mentor messaged me this morning and he's

1027
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 2: kind of having a real moment in his career and

1028
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:25,759
Speaker 2: things are going well, and he was saying the same

1029
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:26,960
Speaker 2: thing to me, be goes Jah. I don't think this

1030
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 2: is healthy for me, Like I'm worried about my ego,

1031
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 2: And I was like, this is amazing the fact that

1032
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 2: you're even aware and you're conscious and you're because ninety

1033
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 2: nine percent of the time you have the success and

1034
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,760
Speaker 2: then it falls apart and then you think about your ego.

1035
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:43,319
Speaker 2: And so for me, there are a few things that

1036
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:47,239
Speaker 2: I do. The first thing is that I always look

1037
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 2: at how I compare to the work I really want

1038
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:56,399
Speaker 2: to do. So the impact I really want to make

1039
00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:03,800
Speaker 2: in the world is not just downloads or views or

1040
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 2: whatever else or numbers. It's actually I'm trying to create

1041
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:13,360
Speaker 2: a journey for everyone that connects with my work, from

1042
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 2: entertainment through to education through to personal enlightenment in how

1043
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,839
Speaker 2: they define that term, and to me, it's like I'm

1044
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 2: trying to create that journey by building steps that I

1045
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 2: know from the journey that I've been on, the journey

1046
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 2: that I'm still on, and the journey that I've learned

1047
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,240
Speaker 2: from the great and trying to put those building blocks

1048
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 2: in place for people. And my goal is unless I'm

1049
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:35,680
Speaker 2: helping people walk that journey, the number is is insignificant.

1050
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 1: But the beautiful thing is because by the way, I'm

1051
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 1: not anti ego, like eco serves an important rule great commisation.

1052
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:42,919
Speaker 1: You know, there's ego and it, and those two things

1053
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 1: need to be managed in a way that with like

1054
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 1: I said, a sense of self awareness and understanding of

1055
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 1: what is going to press your buttons, both positive and negative.

1056
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:53,400
Speaker 1: But what I'm interested in is, like, it's interesting because

1057
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 1: because you're building this thing internally, from within your own vision,

1058
00:48:56,719 --> 00:49:00,200
Speaker 1: your own what inspires you, It's come from this tiny

1059
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 1: little fire that you're building into this beautiful thing that

1060
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:07,239
Speaker 1: helps people. But you can't help more people without your

1061
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 1: ego serving a purpose a role.

1062
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, And so I think engaging it and being

1063
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 2: aware of it the only two options you have, because

1064
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,640
Speaker 2: I think that when you try and ignore that. There

1065
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:22,560
Speaker 2: were probably even times in my life where I tried

1066
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 2: to suppress the desire to do and make an impact

1067
00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 2: because you think it's ego not realizing that then it's

1068
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 2: just brewing and now you're envious of everyone else.

1069
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 1: So that's why the we're humility is so interesting to me, right,

1070
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,879
Speaker 1: because we kick around humility all the time like it's

1071
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 1: a really important positive part of our makeup, and it is.

1072
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 1: It can be. There's a time to be humble, and

1073
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: there's no universally sort of positive humility. There's no universally

1074
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 1: negative ego complexities across both of them. But it's interesting,

1075
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 1: isn't it. Like you can find yourself If you deny

1076
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: your ability and what you love and your talent and

1077
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 1: your ambition too much, you find yourself in a false

1078
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 1: state of humility, and you can't help the people to help.

1079
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 1: So it's ultimately turning your back on what you should

1080
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:03,680
Speaker 1: be doing.

1081
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, And to me, ego when it gets dangerous is

1082
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 2: when you feel better or worse than others. And so

1083
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 2: I feel like there's a difference between doing what you

1084
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 2: think you're meant to do and doing it well then

1085
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,400
Speaker 2: thinking you do it better. Like I am friends with

1086
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 2: so many people in this space who do are who

1087
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 2: are number one in their fields, but and even in

1088
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 2: a similar field in a different way, Like, I know

1089
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:28,880
Speaker 2: a phenomenal set of scientists in this space who are

1090
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 2: doing incredible health and wellness work and a number one

1091
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:33,440
Speaker 2: in the way they do it. But it's like I

1092
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,479
Speaker 2: have my own version and I have my own way

1093
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 2: and method, and that's what I'm excited and have an

1094
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 2: ego about. I guess is the idea that I'm doing

1095
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 2: what I'm doing, but it's not a It doesn't make

1096
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 2: me better than someone or worse than someone.

1097
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:47,359
Speaker 1: And I think so interesting, isn't though, Because growing up,

1098
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:50,759
Speaker 1: like in music, there is an innate competitiveness of wanting

1099
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 1: to be the best, and sports you won't want I

1100
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 1: won't find a coach that will look you in the

1101
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: eye and tell you that that attitude is going to

1102
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:01,799
Speaker 1: get you to be the best in the world. Right,

1103
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:04,879
Speaker 1: So it's so interesting how we relate to this thing

1104
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 1: that I think we know very little about.

1105
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:08,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, which which is why I think some of the

1106
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:12,279
Speaker 2: best athletes, like I know that Christiano Ronaldo, who's the

1107
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,920
Speaker 2: biggest football and soccer star in the world for anyone,

1108
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 2: who I mean him and Messy.

1109
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:21,160
Speaker 1: We just did a little rolling stones beetles, Yeah, exactly.

1110
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 2: The world is divided. My TikTok feeds me Christiana, we're

1111
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 2: a complete human being. And now we're in the US,

1112
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 2: and so Messi. Everyone's excited because Messi is coming to

1113
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:34,720
Speaker 2: man and he's awesome. And my point being that whenever

1114
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:36,840
Speaker 2: he does an interview, I always see him say I

1115
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 2: have to think I'm the best in the world, like

1116
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 2: I have to think that way, is what he'll say.

1117
00:51:41,960 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 2: And I think that's really interesting language because he's not

1118
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,319
Speaker 2: saying I am, or I definitely am, saying I have

1119
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 2: to think that way in order to perform at my best.

1120
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,959
Speaker 1: So he's he's he's dividing it into a mentality versus

1121
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:52,880
Speaker 1: a reality. Correct.

1122
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's beautifully said. Yeah, exactly. And I think that

1123
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:58,560
Speaker 2: that's what's so fascinating that if you sat down with

1124
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 2: Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant, who I've had the pleasure

1125
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 2: of interviewing, or today Lebron, it's like, I'm sure they

1126
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 2: have to feel that way, but it's whether like if

1127
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 2: they were, you know, all things said and done behind

1128
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,360
Speaker 2: closed doors. You know, I'm sure they have an opinion

1129
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:17,160
Speaker 2: on stuff that you can say when you're retired too,

1130
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:18,319
Speaker 2: that you couldn't say when you were.

1131
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:19,320
Speaker 1: Playing are you a manifesto?

1132
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:23,839
Speaker 2: I would honestly say I've been an accidental, unintentional manifesto.

1133
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 2: So I don't believe that I ever set out to say, Okay,

1134
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 2: I believe in manifestation. I know how it works, and

1135
00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it. I don't think I ever

1136
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,840
Speaker 2: had that. I've just had things happen in my life

1137
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:37,320
Speaker 2: where I can track back when I first visualized it

1138
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,759
Speaker 2: in my mind and then it came to fruition. But

1139
00:52:39,840 --> 00:52:42,280
Speaker 2: I never intended for that to happen.

1140
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,799
Speaker 1: And so when that happened, did you ever have the

1141
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,080
Speaker 1: intention to try to kind of do it more or

1142
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 1: master it or anything else, or were you just like

1143
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:50,919
Speaker 1: I love the curiosity that I like to make it happen.

1144
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 2: I love the curiosity and I love the magic of

1145
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 2: it because that also makes me realize that it's beyond me.

1146
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 2: And I like that humility of that.

1147
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:01,120
Speaker 1: Okay, so ther of it is, that's cool.

1148
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 2: That surrender of it that I don't. I love the

1149
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 2: idea that it's happening, and it's happened in my life

1150
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:10,759
Speaker 2: so subconsciously that it also makes me recognize that there

1151
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 2: is more than.

1152
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 1: Me to say, and I'm more like you than I am.

1153
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:16,480
Speaker 1: Like some of the other people who I know, who

1154
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 1: you know, are continually searching for that feeling that they

1155
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:21,400
Speaker 1: can and with some success.

1156
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 2: Again Oh yeah, yeah. I know people who I consider

1157
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:26,400
Speaker 2: to manipulate material energy like they have that they have

1158
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 2: that ability, and I don't Ryan Reynolds.

1159
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:32,040
Speaker 1: Ryan Reynolds is a master manifesto. I'm so sorry, but

1160
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 1: you cannot take Rixham and do that unless you know

1161
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:38,319
Speaker 1: how to bend energy.

1162
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:40,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, that's the point.

1163
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:42,479
Speaker 1: Like I sell billion dollar telecom company.

1164
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that mint.

1165
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:44,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1166
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:46,400
Speaker 2: And I don't think there's a right or wrong again,

1167
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:48,920
Speaker 2: like I don't think someone who focuses on manifesting in

1168
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 2: there in the sense that the way it's been packaged

1169
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 2: or marketed is a bad thing. It's just not the

1170
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 2: way I.

1171
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:57,279
Speaker 1: Can I ask you another question, cool, I ask you

1172
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:57,680
Speaker 1: a question.

1173
00:53:58,120 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 2: This is a real conversation.

1174
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:01,920
Speaker 1: I want to I want to talk to you about ambition,

1175
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 1: Like what your relationship is with your ambition, because you

1176
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:07,560
Speaker 1: have a big you have You've already built something massive

1177
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 1: and you want to continue to reach more people. So

1178
00:54:11,719 --> 00:54:14,279
Speaker 1: how do you manage your ambition into something that is

1179
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: balanced with your life.

1180
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:19,120
Speaker 2: I think it's evolved over time. So I've always honestly

1181
00:54:19,120 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 2: said that when I first started, I was working sixteen

1182
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:28,279
Speaker 2: to eighteen hour days and seven days a week, but

1183
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:33,840
Speaker 2: I never missed meditating and that was always my grounding practice.

1184
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going to meditate and I'm going

1185
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 2: to work my socks off, because I kind of had

1186
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 2: that moment of or at least what I've heard when

1187
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,560
Speaker 2: you were saying that about your kids. Like I remember

1188
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 2: the first time I felt the door open, and I

1189
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 2: was just like I never believe this door would ever open,

1190
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:48,759
Speaker 2: Like I have to be so grateful and responsible for this.

1191
00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:49,840
Speaker 1: And that was to meditation.

1192
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,359
Speaker 2: That was no, no, no, that was oh no. Spiritually

1193
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 2: that had happened. I mean like externally with building a platform.

1194
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,359
Speaker 1: God, I got it, Like when you realize like, wow,

1195
00:54:58,400 --> 00:54:59,240
Speaker 1: I have a shot.

1196
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 2: I have an opportunity to do this in a like

1197
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,239
Speaker 2: I was happy and content, and anyone who knows me

1198
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:06,480
Speaker 2: the back then would verify this, like I was happy

1199
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:09,080
Speaker 2: and content doing what I do today for the ten

1200
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:11,400
Speaker 2: people that showed up every week for ten years, and

1201
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 2: I was so happy. I didn't feel like, oh there's

1202
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:15,880
Speaker 2: not enough people or like oh my god, I'm not

1203
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:17,920
Speaker 2: like I just felt grateful and happy that even ten

1204
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 2: people would show up, and I loved it. And then

1205
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 2: at one point I did feel I was like, I

1206
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,160
Speaker 2: feel this message matters. The people that are coming are

1207
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 2: having great success from it. I think it should reach

1208
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:29,319
Speaker 2: more people, so I should attempt to. And when I

1209
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 2: attempted and I had that first glimpse, then I was like, wow,

1210
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,399
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful and I should be responsible for this,

1211
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:37,719
Speaker 2: and I shouldn't take this. I should take this as

1212
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 2: a gift and I should give my heart and soul

1213
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:45,400
Speaker 2: to it, not just live off this momentary you know success.

1214
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 2: So for me, that's to me, the graft was me

1215
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 2: expressing my gratitude back to the universe to say, I

1216
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 2: see that you've given literal me a shot, and I

1217
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:59,759
Speaker 2: feel my only way of expressing my thanks and a

1218
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 2: preciation back to you for this gift is to show

1219
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:04,280
Speaker 2: you that I'm willing to work.

1220
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 1: To make the most of it.

1221
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 2: Correct. So that was like a couple of years where

1222
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 2: I did that. As soon as I started doing that

1223
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:11,240
Speaker 2: and things started to grow externally, I started to realize,

1224
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 2: all right, this is not sustainable, like on an energy level,

1225
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 2: and so then I cut back. So then I was like,

1226
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:17,360
Speaker 2: I'm only going to work five days a week, so

1227
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,160
Speaker 2: I took my weekends back. I was still working evenings.

1228
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:21,720
Speaker 2: Now I'm at a point where I took my weekends

1229
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:22,759
Speaker 2: and my evenings.

1230
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:24,920
Speaker 1: Because because that to me is like, that's that's the

1231
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:28,360
Speaker 1: crucial moment where perhaps some like maturity and some life

1232
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:32,279
Speaker 1: and some distance between youthful ambition, the desire that I've

1233
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 1: got to go and take every opportunity I can versus

1234
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:36,800
Speaker 1: where you were at that moment in your life really

1235
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:40,760
Speaker 1: served you. Yes, because that's the moment when I think

1236
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:47,480
Speaker 1: it can consume people and relationships, Yeah, get hurt and

1237
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 1: or get torched, and we chase something so far down

1238
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 1: the road that we forget where we wanted to go

1239
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 1: in the first place.

1240
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:55,600
Speaker 2: Totally.

1241
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:57,440
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a really great point.

1242
00:56:57,560 --> 00:56:58,799
Speaker 2: And I think for me it.

1243
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:00,839
Speaker 1: Was like that was a turning point for you, that mument.

1244
00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, And at the beginning, it was just like, all right,

1245
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,080
Speaker 2: all that ass is this and my wife, like those

1246
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:05,799
Speaker 2: are the only two things that mattered. I don't really

1247
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:07,920
Speaker 2: have time for anything more than that. And now I'm

1248
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:10,799
Speaker 2: at a point where working backwards, where now I only work,

1249
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 2: I have the privilege of only working nine am to

1250
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 2: six pm and don't work evenings all weekends, and now

1251
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 2: I can take care of my wife and my friends.

1252
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,520
Speaker 2: And because you're in the era of no yeah, And

1253
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 2: that's and I think there was an era of complete yes.

1254
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,480
Speaker 2: And there has to be and there's there's an it

1255
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:25,960
Speaker 2: has to be. There has to be, and I don't

1256
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:28,440
Speaker 2: want to lie about not like perfect balance.

1257
00:57:28,560 --> 00:57:31,480
Speaker 1: You can't get to know without figuring out like where

1258
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:33,400
Speaker 1: your line is. And you can't figure that unless you

1259
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:35,400
Speaker 1: push yourself. And that's what work is. That's what the

1260
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:38,360
Speaker 1: working era is like, when you just grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind,

1261
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 1: and and but yeah, I'm I'm a fan of balance.

1262
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 1: I was talking to someone about this the other day,

1263
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:46,720
Speaker 1: about ambition, because I have friends of mine who are

1264
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 1: never going to start and I love them for that,

1265
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 1: and they just to them, to them, it's all out there,

1266
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:56,080
Speaker 1: and why would they ever not grab every opportunity or

1267
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 1: explore the next thing. And no number is too big

1268
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 1: and no opportunity is too far away. And I love

1269
00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:06,600
Speaker 1: it and I've definitely been that in my own way.

1270
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 1: But I'm reaching a point in my life which isn't

1271
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 1: the same, I'm going to turn down opportunities or I'm wanting.

1272
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:14,920
Speaker 1: I'm not whining that I'm not in a semi retirement mode.

1273
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 1: I want to do my best work over the next

1274
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:19,360
Speaker 1: ten years, but I want to do it in a

1275
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 1: way that is joyful and to your point, really make

1276
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 1: gratitude like the number one driving force. I think to

1277
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 1: be truly grateful, you need to allow yourself space to

1278
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 1: be grateful. I think we kick the word gratitude around

1279
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 1: a lot. I know I've been definitely the kind of

1280
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 1: person who's like, done one hundred things in a day

1281
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 1: and then when I've had two minutes the end of

1282
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 1: the day gone, I'm really grateful, thank you so much

1283
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:47,400
Speaker 1: for And it's like it's not a checklist item, Like

1284
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 1: you've got to feel it. And I think to do that,

1285
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 1: and I guess that's what meditation. I've never been able

1286
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:55,440
Speaker 1: to find the space to meditate and calm my mind

1287
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 1: downe enough. I know I will, I just can't force it.

1288
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you haven't naturally zen energy there.

1289
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 1: That's cool.

1290
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like I would have thought you were a meditator,

1291
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:07,000
Speaker 2: which is quite nice. Yeah, which is yeah, you have

1292
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 2: that the I always said, like I mean, and Kobe

1293
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:13,640
Speaker 2: Bryant did meditate, but he was the most like he

1294
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,960
Speaker 2: had the most gravity around him of any person I've

1295
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 2: ever met, Like he was just like time, like things

1296
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,600
Speaker 2: stood still when he spoke, and there was that. But

1297
00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:22,600
Speaker 2: he did meditate. But I feel like you have a

1298
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:25,840
Speaker 2: real like there's a there's a piece around you, even

1299
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 2: though it's not you know, if it's not from that

1300
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:30,240
Speaker 2: which is really beautiful and then of hard piece, yeah,

1301
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:33,280
Speaker 2: hard earned piece. Yeah, but I think it's true. Like

1302
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:35,880
Speaker 2: I think also, you know, it's what we're saying about

1303
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 2: the yes and no, there's also a different time in

1304
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 2: life for sometimes it's scale, sometimes it's speed, Sometimes it's strategies.

1305
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's sincerity, sometimes it's you know, like it's I

1306
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 2: think what you realize is that if you just go

1307
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 2: speed speed speeds like that doesn't actually make any sense.

1308
00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 1: Well, you missed your opportunities more than you actually grab them.

1309
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:57,439
Speaker 1: I think.

1310
00:59:57,560 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, you think about like being a Formula one racer,

1311
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:02,960
Speaker 2: it's not speed at every turn that helps them master

1312
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:05,880
Speaker 2: the track. Speed's a massive part of it, but.

1313
01:00:05,920 --> 01:00:07,160
Speaker 1: Only when you need to go fast.

1314
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:09,439
Speaker 2: Only when you need to go fast, like round the band.

1315
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 2: If you just go fast because you're like, no, no, no,

1316
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:12,439
Speaker 2: I just got to beat the other guy. You could

1317
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 2: potentially turn over and throw the you know, the race.

1318
01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:17,120
Speaker 1: That's why I love boxing so much. Like I've just

1319
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 1: started to like like do boxing training and stuff. It's

1320
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 1: my wife that's the most fun. It's the greatest exercise

1321
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 1: of it. And I've struggled with exercise. My whole life

1322
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 1: fits and starts like everybody else. No pun, well pun

1323
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 1: very much intended, but yeah, this is a whole other level.

1324
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:32,840
Speaker 1: I love it, right, And the reason I love it

1325
01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 1: is because, like my mom has dementia, and she's in

1326
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 1: the lot of stages of dementia I feel, and it's

1327
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:40,680
Speaker 1: it's it's been really tough to witness, but I've also

1328
01:00:40,920 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 1: watched her sort of want to hold onto memories and

1329
01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:45,640
Speaker 1: the whole cognitive awareness thing has become very present for me.

1330
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,160
Speaker 1: And what I love about boxing is that it's really

1331
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 1: it's it's one hundred percent mind and body, and it's

1332
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,480
Speaker 1: about strategy and it's about people just think you just

1333
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:57,440
Speaker 1: bash stuff. It's so not the most tiring thing I

1334
01:00:57,480 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 1: do when I'm working out. Boxing is the inside work.

1335
01:01:00,640 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 1: I'm not actually punching anything I'm just trying to push

1336
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 1: this guy off, Like that's the most exhausting thing out

1337
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:07,800
Speaker 1: of any of it, Like that punching the mets is

1338
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:10,800
Speaker 1: like just rhythm. That's the driving fast correct.

1339
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:12,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's what I mean. I think we just

1340
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:16,000
Speaker 2: live in one mode of like speed or slow. We

1341
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:17,840
Speaker 2: think we think those are the only two things to

1342
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 2: play with. Yeah, and when you box or if you

1343
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:21,840
Speaker 2: drive a car or whatever, maybe you're still going, oh wait,

1344
01:01:21,960 --> 01:01:25,320
Speaker 2: there's there's so many other dials to play with here. Yeah,

1345
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 2: So I think I'm trying to you know, I've I've

1346
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 2: realized that, and I also realized that it's the same

1347
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 2: as a hike, Like getting up the hill is different

1348
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:34,640
Speaker 2: to staying at the top and getting down again and

1349
01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 2: going deep into the valley. Like, yeah, it requires a

1350
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:39,320
Speaker 2: different skill set. And so I try, and you know,

1351
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 2: I try and live a very disciplined life health wise

1352
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:44,640
Speaker 2: in order to be able to be high performing. And

1353
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 2: I value all of that, like the high performance world,

1354
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:48,720
Speaker 2: like I value all the time.

1355
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 1: You have cheat days, though, do your life have a

1356
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 1: chance to slip out of routine always?

1357
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:53,960
Speaker 2: I mean you have to, Like this morning was one

1358
01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:54,640
Speaker 2: of those morning.

1359
01:01:55,200 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 1: I said, well, you just got back off tour for

1360
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:58,040
Speaker 1: a start, so you're all over the show.

1361
01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:00,800
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, I wasn't. That's the thing I allow myself,

1362
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 2: like small windows and then I go back. But like

1363
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:06,720
Speaker 2: this week, I haven't missed a single workout and this morning,

1364
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:09,600
Speaker 2: last night I told I told my friends that I

1365
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:10,960
Speaker 2: was going to work out with today. I go, guys,

1366
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:13,360
Speaker 2: I'm sleeping in tomorrow and burnt, I'm not going to

1367
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:15,720
Speaker 2: be that. I'm tired. So I woke up an hour

1368
01:02:15,760 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 2: and a half later then I usually wake up today

1369
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:18,840
Speaker 2: and it was the best thing I ever did, and

1370
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:21,040
Speaker 2: I loved it. Do you sleep well I sleep? Yeah,

1371
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:22,840
Speaker 2: that's a big thing for me. I actually read that's

1372
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:24,520
Speaker 2: been something you've had to work through, right, Like.

1373
01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:27,800
Speaker 1: Dude, I'm not a good sleeper and I but you

1374
01:02:27,840 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 1: know what's crazy. And I was telling a friend of

1375
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 1: mine who's in a band about this this morning because

1376
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 1: she was like, I'm just trying to kind of come

1377
01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:36,160
Speaker 1: down off tour. And I said, listen, man, let me

1378
01:02:36,160 --> 01:02:37,440
Speaker 1: give you a bit of advice. And I'm never's going

1379
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 1: to work for you, but I'm telling you, like I

1380
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:45,440
Speaker 1: read somewhere something ages ago where Rick Ruben said that

1381
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:48,360
Speaker 1: he goes out every morning when he wakes up and

1382
01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:51,120
Speaker 1: exposes himself to natural light. Yes, first thing he does

1383
01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:54,560
Speaker 1: is expose himself to natural light. And then I someone

1384
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:56,280
Speaker 1: else said it, and someone else said it, and I

1385
01:02:56,320 --> 01:02:58,920
Speaker 1: was like, all right, this is like too many things

1386
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:02,000
Speaker 1: pointing in this direction. So and I haven't had a

1387
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,480
Speaker 1: good night sleep in a long time, and so I

1388
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:07,320
Speaker 1: started going outside and it was so strange. It was

1389
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 1: such an alien experience for me to stand out in

1390
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:13,440
Speaker 1: my yard at like six thirty in the morning, like

1391
01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 1: in my boxer shorts, like like, I feel like a weirdo.

1392
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:21,400
Speaker 1: This is really weird. And then the second day we

1393
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:23,480
Speaker 1: felt less weird, and the third day felt less weird,

1394
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:24,960
Speaker 1: and I started putting shorts on because I was like,

1395
01:03:24,960 --> 01:03:28,280
Speaker 1: you know, I'm going to enjoy this. And I have

1396
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:31,000
Speaker 1: been sleeping like like I wake up and my head

1397
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:34,840
Speaker 1: is just like heavy on the pillow and I'm just rested.

1398
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,000
Speaker 1: Like that works.

1399
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:38,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1400
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:42,560
Speaker 1: That's circadian rhythms thing. Yes, yeah, I mean yeah, it's crazy,

1401
01:03:42,680 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 1: like yeah.

1402
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:47,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know they're all ancient practices, though I know

1403
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:51,880
Speaker 2: you do yoga too, And so the ancient yoga arsen

1404
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:54,600
Speaker 2: is called the suria Namashkar. So what that means is

1405
01:03:55,120 --> 01:03:58,920
Speaker 2: sun salutations. And so the ancient practice was the first

1406
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:01,160
Speaker 2: thing you do in the morning is you salute the sun, right,

1407
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:04,440
Speaker 2: which was that bathing and gazing and paying respects to

1408
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:07,600
Speaker 2: the sun. Yeah, and that was what was happening, Like

1409
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:10,320
Speaker 2: your circadian rhythm was kicking off. Yeah, now you're on

1410
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:12,160
Speaker 2: that and we sit.

1411
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:13,720
Speaker 1: There and we read that and we think, oh, it's

1412
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:16,960
Speaker 1: it's only a worship to the sun. It's all worship based.

1413
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:18,720
Speaker 1: But actually it can be worship based and it can

1414
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:21,240
Speaker 1: also be lifestyle related exactly. They were figuring out how

1415
01:04:21,320 --> 01:04:22,720
Speaker 1: to get a good night's sleep exactly.

1416
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:24,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were figuring out how to get vitality and

1417
01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:27,480
Speaker 2: energy as well. And that's what they were paying gratitude

1418
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:30,240
Speaker 2: to the sun for. And your day started with gratitude,

1419
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:33,600
Speaker 2: but for everything, not just for being the sun, but

1420
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:35,720
Speaker 2: for the light, the heat, the warmth, I mean, for

1421
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:37,120
Speaker 2: everything that it provides. Right.

1422
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:39,760
Speaker 1: So we have all this literature and all these opportunities,

1423
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:41,760
Speaker 1: like even this conversation to be able to just dive

1424
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 1: into all of this, and there'll be the people who

1425
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:46,080
Speaker 1: roll their eyes and they're probably not listening or watching,

1426
01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 1: and they'll be the people who are open and absorbing

1427
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:50,520
Speaker 1: and ready to sort of try and make positive changes

1428
01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:53,000
Speaker 1: and help others further down the line. But where do

1429
01:04:53,040 --> 01:04:57,880
Speaker 1: you think we're going wrong? Like if the ancient species

1430
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:02,840
Speaker 1: were saluting this, increasing their ability to be able to

1431
01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:07,040
Speaker 1: manifest good things, understood the power of gratitude, understood the

1432
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 1: power of rest, understood what they needed in order to

1433
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:13,920
Speaker 1: maintain that. This is thousands of years ago. Why do

1434
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:16,320
Speaker 1: you think we seem to be getting either further away

1435
01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:18,320
Speaker 1: from that or trying to get back to that, but

1436
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:20,360
Speaker 1: we haven't actually gone on from that.

1437
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:23,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's a it's a big question. And

1438
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:25,800
Speaker 2: one place I really experienced it beautifully was when I

1439
01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:28,600
Speaker 2: was in Hawaii and every morning which.

1440
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:31,880
Speaker 1: Island we were on, the big Island in Kawai is like.

1441
01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:34,680
Speaker 2: I've heard I need to go.

1442
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:37,160
Speaker 1: To Ever ever been to a place where the energy,

1443
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:40,760
Speaker 1: the lay lines and the oxygen coming up from the ocean. Yeah,

1444
01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:41,480
Speaker 1: this is amazing.

1445
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:43,160
Speaker 2: I need to go next year, and you'll have to

1446
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:44,480
Speaker 2: give me all the recommendations.

1447
01:05:44,880 --> 01:05:46,520
Speaker 1: I've got no recommended. It's not the kind of place

1448
01:05:46,600 --> 01:05:49,160
Speaker 1: the beautiful thing is. It's just pure local, Like it's

1449
01:05:49,160 --> 01:05:52,080
Speaker 1: not like go here, go here, just rent, just get

1450
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:54,840
Speaker 1: a really awesome little airbing b near the ocean. That's

1451
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:58,080
Speaker 1: my recommendation, and just barefooted to the coffee store every day.

1452
01:05:58,160 --> 01:05:59,960
Speaker 1: I love it anyway, No, no, no, no.

1453
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:02,400
Speaker 2: And so I remember in Hawaii, we'd get like a

1454
01:06:02,480 --> 01:06:05,240
Speaker 2: kayak every morning. One of their forget the official name

1455
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:07,360
Speaker 2: of this big kayak, they have a name for it,

1456
01:06:07,800 --> 01:06:10,360
Speaker 2: jumped in. We'd go out. They'd pay their respects to

1457
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:12,640
Speaker 2: the sun. They had their own offerings, which I loved

1458
01:06:12,720 --> 01:06:14,240
Speaker 2: learning about dead offer it to the water.

1459
01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:14,560
Speaker 1: Like.

1460
01:06:15,040 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 2: So, what I find that where we've gone wrong is

1461
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:22,320
Speaker 2: that we've unlearned and reconditioned to a new way of

1462
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:26,160
Speaker 2: working so hard and so strong and for so long

1463
01:06:26,280 --> 01:06:31,720
Speaker 2: that undoing that and resetting our habits to be healthy

1464
01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:34,760
Speaker 2: for us is the biggest challenge. So discipline is ninety

1465
01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:37,360
Speaker 2: nine percent of the challenge. And I think the problem

1466
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:39,840
Speaker 2: is that because if you think about school, which was

1467
01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:42,560
Speaker 2: the only thing that had the opportunity to discipline us,

1468
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 2: and parenting, those are probably the only two things that you.

1469
01:06:45,040 --> 01:06:46,360
Speaker 1: Have earlier introduction to it.

1470
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:50,600
Speaker 2: Your introduction to it as school discipline, you always knew

1471
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:52,080
Speaker 2: what you were going to do, You always knew what

1472
01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:55,120
Speaker 2: the next grade was, You knew what the next class was,

1473
01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:57,360
Speaker 2: it was all mapped out for you. You never actually

1474
01:06:57,400 --> 01:07:00,880
Speaker 2: had to discipline yourself. And so when runs out at

1475
01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:04,040
Speaker 2: age eighteen or twenty one, whenever you finish school, you

1476
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:07,080
Speaker 2: now are left to your own devices to figure out discipline. Yeah,

1477
01:07:07,120 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 2: and you've never actually been taught how to build a habit,

1478
01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:12,400
Speaker 2: how to break a habit, how to grow discipline, how

1479
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:15,640
Speaker 2: to end discipline, right, you just and that's really what's missing. Like,

1480
01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:19,320
Speaker 2: my wife has single handedly coached me to better eating

1481
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 2: habits than anyone ever has in my life. And I

1482
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:24,760
Speaker 2: had to live with her every single day, you know,

1483
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:26,640
Speaker 2: for the past seven years for her to do that

1484
01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:28,560
Speaker 2: for me, And I'm like, well, if I didn't live

1485
01:07:28,560 --> 01:07:30,560
Speaker 2: with her, I don't think I would be able to

1486
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:34,240
Speaker 2: do these health changes, Like to me eating pizza burgers,

1487
01:07:34,640 --> 01:07:36,400
Speaker 2: you know, a sprite or a seven up like that

1488
01:07:36,480 --> 01:07:38,120
Speaker 2: was my like yeah, every other day.

1489
01:07:38,240 --> 01:07:38,439
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1490
01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:40,080
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden, I married my wife

1491
01:07:40,120 --> 01:07:42,800
Speaker 2: and she's just like you know, sugar, yeah, and you

1492
01:07:42,840 --> 01:07:44,280
Speaker 2: know like and I'm like, well, wait a minute. It

1493
01:07:44,280 --> 01:07:47,880
Speaker 2: took that much coaching and guidance and steer, So I

1494
01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:50,960
Speaker 2: don't think anyone's at fault. I think it's more that

1495
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:54,640
Speaker 2: society set us up to not know how to The

1496
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:56,360
Speaker 2: biggest skill you can learn is how to build a

1497
01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:57,520
Speaker 2: habit and how to break a habit.

1498
01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:59,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, because because one of the best things that

1499
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:01,600
Speaker 1: were cap of doing what we tend to use against

1500
01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:05,000
Speaker 1: ourselves as the ability to absorb and translate absolutely, and

1501
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:07,160
Speaker 1: it's like, all right, if you can manipulate that, if

1502
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:08,760
Speaker 1: you know how to put things in because we're really

1503
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:12,760
Speaker 1: complex but also quite simple totally. Everything's a routine, right,

1504
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:14,960
Speaker 1: everything's a pattern. It takes one person to do something cool,

1505
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,920
Speaker 1: and we're quite a sink. We live in a singularity

1506
01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:18,599
Speaker 1: pretty quickly. It's just like you know what I mean,

1507
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:20,040
Speaker 1: it's just like, oh, that's cool, let's all do that.

1508
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,519
Speaker 1: Yeah right, we all do it. Yeah, And so yeah,

1509
01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:24,640
Speaker 1: it's interesting, isn't it. Like I think you're right, we

1510
01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:28,080
Speaker 1: allow ourselves and to your point about discipline, we need

1511
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:31,080
Speaker 1: to have the confidence in our own abilities and in

1512
01:08:31,160 --> 01:08:35,200
Speaker 1: our own determination to be disciplined enough to do what's

1513
01:08:35,280 --> 01:08:36,080
Speaker 1: right for ourselves.

1514
01:08:36,200 --> 01:08:37,880
Speaker 2: Yeah right, yeah.

1515
01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:43,920
Speaker 1: Because otherwise I think we are susceptible to the shiny lights.

1516
01:08:44,200 --> 01:08:47,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course. And I think that discipline comes ultimately

1517
01:08:47,320 --> 01:08:49,800
Speaker 2: through going what is truly valuable to me. It goes

1518
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:52,840
Speaker 2: back to what you were saying that that singularity of

1519
01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:56,040
Speaker 2: not having this fragmented approach to I want to be

1520
01:08:56,080 --> 01:08:57,479
Speaker 2: this and I want to be this for that person.

1521
01:08:57,520 --> 01:08:59,400
Speaker 2: I want to do that. You know, it's it's well

1522
01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:01,280
Speaker 2: what do I what do I care about? You used

1523
01:09:01,320 --> 01:09:03,719
Speaker 2: to overwork too, right, Like that was a big, big

1524
01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:06,240
Speaker 2: thing for you. Big Did it lead to did you

1525
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:08,439
Speaker 2: ever get to that brink of burnout and pain?

1526
01:09:08,479 --> 01:09:12,400
Speaker 1: And that's what Yes, absolutely, man, I had physical pain

1527
01:09:12,560 --> 01:09:15,960
Speaker 1: for like five years, chronic pain. Like I wouldn't say

1528
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:19,040
Speaker 1: it was chronic, it was a consistent there were consistent

1529
01:09:19,360 --> 01:09:27,559
Speaker 1: pains were in the body, arm, finger, neck, lower back, hip, Wow.

1530
01:09:27,640 --> 01:09:30,600
Speaker 1: A lot, yeah, a lot of pressure points and a

1531
01:09:30,640 --> 01:09:32,800
Speaker 1: lot of it really was well, there's a couple of

1532
01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:34,920
Speaker 1: things going on there. There was some there was some

1533
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:36,560
Speaker 1: some stuff I had to process from one side of

1534
01:09:36,560 --> 01:09:38,160
Speaker 1: the brain to the other that I hadn't done, so

1535
01:09:38,200 --> 01:09:40,599
Speaker 1: it was stuck in my body. So once I actually

1536
01:09:40,800 --> 01:09:43,320
Speaker 1: started to work that through in therapy and you did

1537
01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:46,759
Speaker 1: that all through therapy, that h yeah, yeah, one yeah.

1538
01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:49,760
Speaker 1: My guy put me to sleep once he basically broke

1539
01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:52,000
Speaker 1: it down for me, I was like for twenty minutes,

1540
01:09:52,040 --> 01:09:54,080
Speaker 1: woke up, and three weeks later things started to dissipate.

1541
01:09:54,160 --> 01:09:56,600
Speaker 1: But also I was I was absorbing. I was absorbing

1542
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:59,240
Speaker 1: a lot into my body through the of the work

1543
01:09:59,280 --> 01:10:02,400
Speaker 1: and the stress and over work, because I didn't have

1544
01:10:02,439 --> 01:10:04,240
Speaker 1: anywhere else to put it, and so my body was

1545
01:10:04,240 --> 01:10:06,320
Speaker 1: trying to protect me. It was like, well, we'll store it.

1546
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:08,320
Speaker 1: But after a while that body gets filled up and

1547
01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:10,280
Speaker 1: then it starts to ache and hurt, and the pain

1548
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:12,880
Speaker 1: starts to happen. And I really genuinely thought, I'm just

1549
01:10:12,880 --> 01:10:14,680
Speaker 1: going to live with these aches. This will be it

1550
01:10:14,720 --> 01:10:16,080
Speaker 1: for the rest of my life. Right, as long as

1551
01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:17,479
Speaker 1: it doesn't kill me, I can live with it. Why

1552
01:10:17,520 --> 01:10:19,960
Speaker 1: would you want to live with pain? So I'm so

1553
01:10:20,040 --> 01:10:21,680
Speaker 1: glad that I was able to kind of start to

1554
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:23,639
Speaker 1: unlock that's a verbal release.

1555
01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:27,200
Speaker 2: All the therapy you did was traditional therapy or there

1556
01:10:27,200 --> 01:10:27,479
Speaker 2: It was.

1557
01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:30,920
Speaker 1: More even just the concept that actually in my mind,

1558
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:33,720
Speaker 1: in my brain, I have been storing it in an

1559
01:10:33,760 --> 01:10:36,160
Speaker 1: area where my brain is telling me to put it

1560
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:38,120
Speaker 1: all in here, And what I need to do is

1561
01:10:38,439 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 1: to create space in here to put it somewhere, which

1562
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:43,360
Speaker 1: has infinitely more ability to be able to process and

1563
01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:46,960
Speaker 1: distribute and remove and to release. So I needed to

1564
01:10:46,960 --> 01:10:49,320
Speaker 1: get it over there. And as simplistic as that sounds,

1565
01:10:49,360 --> 01:10:51,320
Speaker 1: it just worked for me. I mean, it was a

1566
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:53,639
Speaker 1: concept and perhaps it's rooted in truth, and perhaps it's

1567
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:55,120
Speaker 1: not that. I'm sure there'd be people who are saying

1568
01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:57,040
Speaker 1: we're talking about other people who'd be like, ah, that's

1569
01:10:57,080 --> 01:10:59,640
Speaker 1: exactly right. But you know, the way that it was

1570
01:10:59,720 --> 01:11:01,519
Speaker 1: it was it was explained to me, was that I

1571
01:11:01,560 --> 01:11:03,360
Speaker 1: had been storing it in my brain because I didn't

1572
01:11:03,400 --> 01:11:05,519
Speaker 1: have the ability to be able to deal with it emotionally,

1573
01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:07,720
Speaker 1: and so I didn't want to. And so once I

1574
01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:09,360
Speaker 1: figured out that I didn't have anything to be afraid of,

1575
01:11:09,560 --> 01:11:11,400
Speaker 1: just talking through, get it out, release it, let it go,

1576
01:11:11,479 --> 01:11:13,920
Speaker 1: it started to transfer and the pain started to disappear.

1577
01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:15,880
Speaker 2: That's the first time I've heard about that therapy. That's cool.

1578
01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:18,960
Speaker 1: But I was working through it like working around the clock,

1579
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:22,600
Speaker 1: because again, it's a great distraction, isn't it. You know,

1580
01:11:22,600 --> 01:11:24,320
Speaker 1: getting up and going to work is a great way

1581
01:11:24,360 --> 01:11:26,360
Speaker 1: to spend your time avoiding things that you don't really

1582
01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:28,360
Speaker 1: want to have to deal with, and it's also more productive.

1583
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:30,040
Speaker 1: So the harder you work, the more you achieve. The

1584
01:11:30,040 --> 01:11:31,679
Speaker 1: more you achieve, the more you tell yourselff you're okay,

1585
01:11:31,680 --> 01:11:33,160
Speaker 1: the more you tell you stuff you're okay, not dealing

1586
01:11:33,200 --> 01:11:37,040
Speaker 1: with absolutely, So it's like, okay, you know, and then.

1587
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:39,200
Speaker 2: The opposite is also true, which is why back to

1588
01:11:39,240 --> 01:11:41,439
Speaker 2: your argument of balance, Like the opposite also true where

1589
01:11:41,479 --> 01:11:44,200
Speaker 2: you if you're too idle and there's no direction and

1590
01:11:44,240 --> 01:11:46,240
Speaker 2: there's no pursuit and there's no work.

1591
01:11:46,040 --> 01:11:48,960
Speaker 1: And for sure, there's an infinite amount of ways to

1592
01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:50,880
Speaker 1: do it. I'm just that's how I did it. And

1593
01:11:51,920 --> 01:11:55,360
Speaker 1: you know, there's a difference between working hard and working

1594
01:11:55,400 --> 01:11:57,559
Speaker 1: and working hard right, Like for me, it's like I

1595
01:11:57,600 --> 01:11:59,600
Speaker 1: love to work and I love to work hard, but

1596
01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:02,679
Speaker 1: I don't have to work hard to be working well, right,

1597
01:12:02,760 --> 01:12:05,080
Speaker 1: I can do it in a way that is like

1598
01:12:06,120 --> 01:12:08,400
Speaker 1: you know, efficient and good for my balance. Becuse me

1599
01:12:08,479 --> 01:12:11,559
Speaker 1: good for my balance. My decision making got better, my

1600
01:12:11,640 --> 01:12:14,599
Speaker 1: ability to delegate got better. I became less stressed out

1601
01:12:14,600 --> 01:12:18,040
Speaker 1: about the things that I didn't have any reason and

1602
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:22,639
Speaker 1: or right to be stressed out about. I stopped feeling

1603
01:12:22,680 --> 01:12:25,320
Speaker 1: I needed to respond to every single email and every

1604
01:12:25,360 --> 01:12:28,320
Speaker 1: single thing, and I started to trust the process. And

1605
01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:30,439
Speaker 1: I don't know, you have to ask my colleagues, but

1606
01:12:30,479 --> 01:12:33,639
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm happier and better at what I do.

1607
01:12:34,680 --> 01:12:37,600
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm a big believer in just because you

1608
01:12:37,640 --> 01:12:39,400
Speaker 1: put in the hours and doesn't mean you're actually getting

1609
01:12:39,400 --> 01:12:40,040
Speaker 1: the most out of it.

1610
01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:43,720
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Absolutely, You've sat with so many of the you know,

1611
01:12:45,040 --> 01:12:49,960
Speaker 2: most iconic eyes of our time and this generation, and

1612
01:12:50,520 --> 01:12:54,000
Speaker 2: you know you're a brilliant interviewer. You ask question questions,

1613
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:56,680
Speaker 2: you listen so effectively, like it's fun to watch, like

1614
01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:59,479
Speaker 2: genuinely fun to watch. Who do you feel was like

1615
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:03,000
Speaker 2: wise beyond their years or like an old soul, but

1616
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:04,840
Speaker 2: because most of them are young, like a lot of

1617
01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:06,240
Speaker 2: a lot of them are very young. Who did you

1618
01:13:06,280 --> 01:13:07,160
Speaker 2: find was kind of like?

1619
01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:11,080
Speaker 1: You know, I find the conversations that leave me most

1620
01:13:11,320 --> 01:13:16,320
Speaker 1: inspired and feeling like something in my life has changed

1621
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:20,600
Speaker 1: and I've learned something new. Tend to come from the

1622
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:25,040
Speaker 1: people who reached a point in their life where they're

1623
01:13:25,080 --> 01:13:32,519
Speaker 1: not trying to sell something anymore and they don't have

1624
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:37,480
Speaker 1: to do this. It's there's some value in the conversation

1625
01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:41,200
Speaker 1: and perhaps they're looking for learning themselves. The truth is,

1626
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:44,000
Speaker 1: more often than not, I find elements of that in

1627
01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:49,360
Speaker 1: everybody because I'm not trying to squeeze juice out of

1628
01:13:49,360 --> 01:13:53,840
Speaker 1: the lemon. I'm genuinely not trying to sell anything at

1629
01:13:53,840 --> 01:13:55,880
Speaker 1: this point in my life. I love music, so it's

1630
01:13:55,920 --> 01:13:57,920
Speaker 1: easy for me to talk about it and to say

1631
01:13:57,920 --> 01:14:00,840
Speaker 1: it's great and to back and forth about it. But

1632
01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:06,160
Speaker 1: I don't feel any need and I don't feel there's

1633
01:14:06,160 --> 01:14:09,360
Speaker 1: any requirement for me at this point in my life

1634
01:14:09,479 --> 01:14:11,640
Speaker 1: to try to sell anything when I go into the

1635
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:13,760
Speaker 1: conversation and I don't I was gonna ask you a

1636
01:14:13,880 --> 01:14:17,880
Speaker 1: question because no one immediately sprang to mind, because I

1637
01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:21,839
Speaker 1: think I'm not existing in a hierarchy anymore.

1638
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:23,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's beautiful answer.

1639
01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:26,559
Speaker 1: I'm not thinking like this person surprised me, or this

1640
01:14:26,600 --> 01:14:29,840
Speaker 1: person was not charming, or this person was wise beyond

1641
01:14:29,840 --> 01:14:32,080
Speaker 1: the years. If you'd ask me that five years ago,

1642
01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:33,640
Speaker 1: I could have given you an answer like that.

1643
01:14:33,640 --> 01:14:35,080
Speaker 2: That's a beautiful answer. I love that.

1644
01:14:35,240 --> 01:14:38,840
Speaker 1: But I'm trying to go into every conversation, whether it's

1645
01:14:39,320 --> 01:14:42,800
Speaker 1: Little Yachty or Neil Young or Billie Eilish or you

1646
01:14:42,840 --> 01:14:45,480
Speaker 1: know whatever. I'm just trying to go into a conversation

1647
01:14:45,920 --> 01:14:49,519
Speaker 1: from a position just like us, of what is the

1648
01:14:49,560 --> 01:14:56,240
Speaker 1: most interesting and human experience that I can have, and

1649
01:14:56,280 --> 01:15:00,000
Speaker 1: I remove as much of the cell as I can,

1650
01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:02,920
Speaker 1: and I try to get into a place with people

1651
01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:08,800
Speaker 1: where like I don't really have questions anymore, and I

1652
01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:13,040
Speaker 1: don't really go in with a high with a framework anymore.

1653
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:17,240
Speaker 1: I just try to feel the music, retain how it

1654
01:15:17,320 --> 01:15:20,200
Speaker 1: makes me feel, and just get to that as much

1655
01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:22,960
Speaker 1: of that feeling as I can in the conversation. And

1656
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:29,120
Speaker 1: so everyone is surprising and everyone catches me off guard

1657
01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:31,800
Speaker 1: with their observations because I'm not going in with any

1658
01:15:31,840 --> 01:15:36,200
Speaker 1: prior observations or any kind of premeditated framework. I'm not

1659
01:15:36,200 --> 01:15:38,200
Speaker 1: coming and going I think I know what you'll like.

1660
01:15:38,920 --> 01:15:40,960
Speaker 1: And I will say that the one only time I've

1661
01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:45,080
Speaker 1: ever had a proper long form conversation with Justin Bieber change.

1662
01:15:45,160 --> 01:15:47,519
Speaker 1: That's what changed it for me, because I thought I

1663
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:50,519
Speaker 1: was going to get a great conversation focused on an

1664
01:15:50,560 --> 01:15:54,400
Speaker 1: album that served the purpose that the label and the

1665
01:15:54,439 --> 01:15:57,120
Speaker 1: management and the artist wanted it to serve, and serve

1666
01:15:57,160 --> 01:15:59,320
Speaker 1: the purpose that Apple Music wanted it to serve, and

1667
01:15:59,360 --> 01:16:01,040
Speaker 1: I would get some thing out of it too, And

1668
01:16:01,080 --> 01:16:05,640
Speaker 1: that conversation became something very different, very quickly, and I

1669
01:16:05,720 --> 01:16:09,280
Speaker 1: realized that he wasn't interested really in selling anything either

1670
01:16:10,840 --> 01:16:13,400
Speaker 1: on that day. And that was the moment that I

1671
01:16:13,479 --> 01:16:17,439
Speaker 1: learned how to listen and stopped trying to control the

1672
01:16:17,520 --> 01:16:20,760
Speaker 1: narrative and gave myself the space to go with it

1673
01:16:21,840 --> 01:16:27,080
Speaker 1: and not panic. It's just a moment. It's just people. Yeah,

1674
01:16:27,479 --> 01:16:30,679
Speaker 1: stay present, listen, observe, and try and figure it out.

1675
01:16:30,840 --> 01:16:33,640
Speaker 1: So from that point forward, everybody that I've spoken to,

1676
01:16:33,760 --> 01:16:36,920
Speaker 1: really I get there with everyone in some way, shape

1677
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:39,080
Speaker 1: or for Yeah, if that makes sense.

1678
01:16:39,000 --> 01:16:40,920
Speaker 2: Makes so much sense, it makes beyond sense.

1679
01:16:40,960 --> 01:16:43,200
Speaker 1: I love it. Every time i'd have a conversation with

1680
01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:45,280
Speaker 1: anyone before that, I would come in with so many

1681
01:16:45,360 --> 01:16:50,000
Speaker 1: different metrics of you know, questions and orders and this

1682
01:16:50,160 --> 01:16:53,040
Speaker 1: and that and expectations and whatnot. And you know, if

1683
01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:55,040
Speaker 1: you ever get a chance to sit, if you haven't

1684
01:16:55,040 --> 01:16:59,920
Speaker 1: already opposite Neil Young, you cannot go into it with that.

1685
01:17:01,000 --> 01:17:05,240
Speaker 1: He has no interest. It's like this is all that matters.

1686
01:17:07,120 --> 01:17:08,600
Speaker 1: And if you think you're going to be able to

1687
01:17:08,600 --> 01:17:10,960
Speaker 1: sort of carve out some shape with him, then he's

1688
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:13,000
Speaker 1: just gonna be like, look, man, like, it's not what

1689
01:17:13,040 --> 01:17:15,680
Speaker 1: I'm here for. I'm not interested in it. So I

1690
01:17:15,720 --> 01:17:16,599
Speaker 1: really like this.

1691
01:17:16,880 --> 01:17:20,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I love that. Thank you for saying that.

1692
01:17:20,280 --> 01:17:23,719
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with the old method anymore.

1693
01:17:23,760 --> 01:17:25,120
Speaker 1: I used to have one. I just don't know what

1694
01:17:25,200 --> 01:17:26,680
Speaker 1: to do with it. Yeah, and even now and then

1695
01:17:26,720 --> 01:17:28,439
Speaker 1: I form myself falling in. I found myself falling into

1696
01:17:28,479 --> 01:17:32,200
Speaker 1: it because I'm worried and I can't stick to it.

1697
01:17:32,320 --> 01:17:35,120
Speaker 1: Everything you need to know is in the answer, right,

1698
01:17:35,439 --> 01:17:36,519
Speaker 1: every question you need.

1699
01:17:36,720 --> 01:17:39,559
Speaker 2: You have a structure when you're untrained, and then when

1700
01:17:39,560 --> 01:17:41,600
Speaker 2: you're trained, it's spontaneous. Spontaneous.

1701
01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:44,640
Speaker 1: It's like I just wasn't listening, Jay, I was just

1702
01:17:44,680 --> 01:17:46,280
Speaker 1: going in and trying to figure it all out before

1703
01:17:46,280 --> 01:17:48,360
Speaker 1: it even happened, which is very in line with who

1704
01:17:48,400 --> 01:17:49,479
Speaker 1: I was and who I've been.

1705
01:17:50,120 --> 01:17:52,679
Speaker 2: Trained too, I think sometimes right, yeah.

1706
01:17:52,520 --> 01:17:54,479
Speaker 1: I'm just terrified. I mean a very anxious person. I

1707
01:17:54,479 --> 01:17:56,240
Speaker 1: got an idea. You know, my therapist always says, you know,

1708
01:17:56,280 --> 01:17:58,599
Speaker 1: anxiety is based on not knowing the outcome, right, You're

1709
01:17:58,640 --> 01:17:59,840
Speaker 1: scared of what the outcome is going to be, and

1710
01:18:00,080 --> 01:18:03,280
Speaker 1: so you know, I need to prepare for every outcome.

1711
01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:04,800
Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, what I really

1712
01:18:04,880 --> 01:18:08,160
Speaker 1: need to do is just start and listen and it

1713
01:18:08,200 --> 01:18:09,160
Speaker 1: will be what it will be.

1714
01:18:09,520 --> 01:18:12,559
Speaker 2: Then this has been such a special, honest urban conversation.

1715
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:15,160
Speaker 2: I've loved every bit of it, and saying we end

1716
01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:17,680
Speaker 2: every on purpose interview with a fast five. So these

1717
01:18:17,680 --> 01:18:20,160
Speaker 2: are questions we do ask everyone, okay, and every question

1718
01:18:20,240 --> 01:18:23,479
Speaker 2: has to be answered with one word to one sentence maximum. Okay,

1719
01:18:23,560 --> 01:18:26,880
Speaker 2: so it's short answers. So then load these your fast five.

1720
01:18:26,920 --> 01:18:28,240
Speaker 1: The first can they change every time?

1721
01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:31,760
Speaker 2: No? Okay, they stay. They four out of five stay

1722
01:18:31,800 --> 01:18:32,559
Speaker 2: exactly the same.

1723
01:18:32,560 --> 01:18:33,519
Speaker 1: Okay, hit me. Okay.

1724
01:18:33,560 --> 01:18:35,479
Speaker 2: So the first question, which we've asked everyone has ever

1725
01:18:35,479 --> 01:18:37,320
Speaker 2: been in the show, is what is the best advice

1726
01:18:37,560 --> 01:18:39,160
Speaker 2: you've ever heard or received?

1727
01:18:39,640 --> 01:18:42,120
Speaker 1: Be yourself because everyone else has taken nice.

1728
01:18:42,320 --> 01:18:44,800
Speaker 2: Second question, what is the worst advice you've ever heard

1729
01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:45,880
Speaker 2: or received?

1730
01:18:46,080 --> 01:18:47,240
Speaker 1: Eat that it's not that hot?

1731
01:18:48,720 --> 01:18:49,080
Speaker 2: All right?

1732
01:18:49,520 --> 01:18:53,040
Speaker 1: Question Number ones at me hot ones, call me. My

1733
01:18:53,160 --> 01:18:55,040
Speaker 1: kids won't ever respit me until I'm on that show.

1734
01:18:57,400 --> 01:19:03,559
Speaker 2: I love that question Number three, what is the one

1735
01:19:04,479 --> 01:19:07,479
Speaker 2: thing that if you'd want your children to remember every day?

1736
01:19:07,479 --> 01:19:08,000
Speaker 2: What would it be?

1737
01:19:08,520 --> 01:19:13,879
Speaker 1: You are loved? And you can love love.

1738
01:19:13,720 --> 01:19:16,439
Speaker 2: That question of before, what's something you're trying to unlearn

1739
01:19:16,520 --> 01:19:16,960
Speaker 2: right now?

1740
01:19:17,280 --> 01:19:22,559
Speaker 1: That I don't have to wash my hands every time

1741
01:19:22,600 --> 01:19:25,200
Speaker 1: I touch a surface and I don't have to check

1742
01:19:25,280 --> 01:19:29,760
Speaker 1: the taps. I'm always trying to unlearn my OCD compulsions.

1743
01:19:29,960 --> 01:19:31,080
Speaker 2: How does that affect life?

1744
01:19:31,400 --> 01:19:33,719
Speaker 1: Is that it's because being my life for so long

1745
01:19:33,920 --> 01:19:36,400
Speaker 1: that I think the most frustrating thing is I'm just

1746
01:19:36,720 --> 01:19:39,080
Speaker 1: I'm used to it. That's what frustrates me the most.

1747
01:19:39,280 --> 01:19:41,160
Speaker 1: If I ever stop and take a step back and

1748
01:19:41,200 --> 01:19:43,200
Speaker 1: realize and actually try to have it step back for

1749
01:19:43,320 --> 01:19:45,160
Speaker 1: myself and realize what I'm doing or what it must

1750
01:19:45,320 --> 01:19:47,680
Speaker 1: look like, not that I'm ashamed of it or that

1751
01:19:47,720 --> 01:19:49,640
Speaker 1: I worry about what the people think of it, just

1752
01:19:49,680 --> 01:19:54,320
Speaker 1: for my own sense of awareness. I get very frustrated

1753
01:19:55,520 --> 01:20:00,000
Speaker 1: and really try to tell myself, like, if you don't,

1754
01:20:00,000 --> 01:20:02,200
Speaker 1: I don't do this routine. The world is not going

1755
01:20:02,240 --> 01:20:06,479
Speaker 1: to end. And I have varying degrees of success. That's hard,

1756
01:20:06,720 --> 01:20:08,120
Speaker 1: but I'm always trying to unlearn it.

1757
01:20:08,320 --> 01:20:10,720
Speaker 2: Fifth and final question that we ask every guest on

1758
01:20:10,720 --> 01:20:13,800
Speaker 2: the show. If you could create one law that everyone

1759
01:20:13,840 --> 01:20:15,680
Speaker 2: in the world had to follow, what would it be?

1760
01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:18,479
Speaker 1: That we would allow ourselves the privilege of listening to

1761
01:20:18,520 --> 01:20:21,240
Speaker 1: each other before we act, that we would do our

1762
01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:23,720
Speaker 1: best to understand there are many points of view, and

1763
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:28,200
Speaker 1: that level of understanding, and ultimately that knowledge would allow

1764
01:20:28,280 --> 01:20:33,160
Speaker 1: us to come together to fix things and not keep

1765
01:20:33,200 --> 01:20:33,920
Speaker 1: breaking things.

1766
01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:36,599
Speaker 2: So needed Zaying low everyone, if you've been listening or watching,

1767
01:20:36,600 --> 01:20:39,519
Speaker 2: wherever you are, whether you're walking your dog, whether you're cooking, driving,

1768
01:20:40,040 --> 01:20:42,040
Speaker 2: whether you're at home, whether you're at work, wherever you are,

1769
01:20:42,080 --> 01:20:44,439
Speaker 2: thank you so much for listening and tuning in. I

1770
01:20:44,479 --> 01:20:46,679
Speaker 2: hope that you'll tag me and Zaying with the things

1771
01:20:46,720 --> 01:20:48,400
Speaker 2: that you love, the things you're going to talk about

1772
01:20:48,400 --> 01:20:50,439
Speaker 2: this week because of this podcast, the things you're going

1773
01:20:50,439 --> 01:20:52,839
Speaker 2: to share with your friends and your family that resonated

1774
01:20:52,880 --> 01:20:55,559
Speaker 2: strongly with you. Please tag us both on Twitter, on Instagram,

1775
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:59,120
Speaker 2: on TikTok, on any platform you use, sharing your favorite clips.

1776
01:20:59,120 --> 01:21:01,960
Speaker 2: I love seeing what connects with you all, and I

1777
01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:03,920
Speaker 2: hope this conversation is connected with you all as it

1778
01:21:03,960 --> 01:21:06,320
Speaker 2: has with me. So thank you for listening and saying.

1779
01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:09,200
Speaker 2: Thank you for your generous time and energy and presence.

1780
01:21:09,240 --> 01:21:12,040
Speaker 2: And I'm really grateful that we got to listen and

1781
01:21:12,080 --> 01:21:14,519
Speaker 2: connect with each other today. So thank you so much.

1782
01:21:14,560 --> 01:21:16,280
Speaker 1: It's the same joy, Thank you, thank you.

1783
01:21:16,760 --> 01:21:19,880
Speaker 2: If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my conversation with

1784
01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:23,960
Speaker 2: Megan Trainer on breaking generational trauma and how to be

1785
01:21:24,120 --> 01:21:27,360
Speaker 2: confident from the inside out. My therapist told me stand

1786
01:21:27,360 --> 01:21:30,120
Speaker 2: in the mirror naked for five minutes. It was already

1787
01:21:30,160 --> 01:21:31,880
Speaker 2: tough for me to love my body, but after the

1788
01:21:31,880 --> 01:21:34,519
Speaker 2: C section scarf with all the stretch marks.

1789
01:21:34,560 --> 01:21:36,559
Speaker 1: Now I'm looking at myself like I've been hacked.

1790
01:21:36,680 --> 01:21:38,800
Speaker 2: But day three, when I did it, I was like,

1791
01:21:38,920 --> 01:21:40,000
Speaker 2: you know what, her thighs are?

1792
01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:40,439
Speaker 1: Cute?

1793
01:21:42,120 --> 01:21:44,920
Speaker 2: Okay, this is something that I've been waiting for and

1794
01:21:45,080 --> 01:21:50,240
Speaker 2: you are absolutely going to love it. My wife, Rody's book, Joyful,

1795
01:21:50,720 --> 01:21:54,519
Speaker 2: is launching on February twenty seventh. I am so excited

1796
01:21:54,520 --> 01:21:57,080
Speaker 2: for her first book ever to be in your hands

1797
01:21:57,360 --> 01:21:59,519
Speaker 2: and be in your home and fill it with joy.

1798
01:22:00,120 --> 01:22:04,200
Speaker 2: Go to j O y f U l L book

1799
01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:08,120
Speaker 2: dot com to pre order now for an exclusive video

1800
01:22:08,479 --> 01:22:12,439
Speaker 2: and a daily wellness guide made by Radi herself. Again.

1801
01:22:12,520 --> 01:22:17,120
Speaker 2: That's j O y f U l L book dot com,

1802
01:22:17,320 --> 01:22:20,479
Speaker 2: Joyful book dot com. Check it out, pre order it

1803
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Speaker 2: right now, get your free video and wellness guide. You're

1804
01:22:23,320 --> 01:22:24,920
Speaker 2: gonna love it.