Speaker 1: Pushkin. I'm Jacob Goldstein and this is a special bonus
Speaker 1: episode of What's Your Problem. My guest today is my
Speaker 1: allow host of a new podcast called Other People's Pockets.
Speaker 1: Opp to those who love it, Hi, Maya, good morning. Hey,
Speaker 1: nice to talk to you. So you got a new show?
Speaker 1: Give me give me the show? In like one sense,
Speaker 1: what is other People's Pockets? Other People's Pockets is a
Speaker 1: show where I interview people about money. I asked them
Speaker 1: how much money they make, how they feel about that,
Speaker 1: how they got there, and any you know, tips and
Speaker 1: tricks we can learn along the way of their money journey.
Speaker 1: You kind of jumped over it, but I love the
Speaker 1: asking them how much money they make, right, I feel
Speaker 1: like a lot of those other things. I was sure
Speaker 1: I've heard tips and tricks, But how much money do
Speaker 1: you make? Is a great question. Yeah, it's kind of
Speaker 1: the quiet part out loud. It's the thing we all wonder.
Speaker 1: I think there's a reason why we all want to
Speaker 1: look at zillo and look inside other people's homes. I
Speaker 1: think we also want to look inside other people's finances
Speaker 1: because there's a lot that's communicated with just knowing the number.
Speaker 1: I love it so I've heard a few of the
Speaker 1: first episodes that you've been working on, and there's one
Speaker 1: that I found particularly interesting that I want to play today,
Speaker 1: and it's an interview you did with a financial dominate trix.
Speaker 1: So just briefly, what is a financial dominaterix. Some people
Speaker 1: have a kink where the kink itself is to give
Speaker 1: away money, and there's like this loss of power and
Speaker 1: that's their kink. And so the financial dominatrix makes money
Speaker 1: by people just wanting to send the money. Often there's
Speaker 1: nothing sexual, there's nothing physical that happens. That's how they
Speaker 1: make money. Amazing. So I like this interview you did
Speaker 1: with this financial dominatrix, this fin Doom for a few reasons,
Speaker 1: Like one, she actually talks about how much money she makes,
Speaker 1: and like the different sort of revenue channel she has,
Speaker 1: So just the straight up how much do you make?
Speaker 1: Is there? And then also you kind of get this
Speaker 1: meta thing about money, which is why would people want
Speaker 1: to pay her to take their money or whatever to
Speaker 1: give her money. So let's just get to it now.
Speaker 1: Congratulations on your new show, Other People's Pocket. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much, Jacob. Let's listen to the episode, Well Mistress Marley,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on the show. I'm
Speaker 1: so excited to have you here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1: Can you explain what is financial domination and how did
Speaker 1: it become one of your specialties? So basically, financial domination
Speaker 1: is a practice within the BDSM and kink world. It's
Speaker 1: the psychological kink that involves a sub giving the dominant
Speaker 1: party money, whether we call it a tribute, gifts or whatever,
Speaker 1: but the sub basically gets off by giving themselves to
Speaker 1: the dominatrix or the dom financially. Wow. And I mean
Speaker 1: when you explain it, and I think the more that
Speaker 1: I've heard about it, I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: kind of consider it basically a dream job to kind
Speaker 1: of just exist and ask for people to give you
Speaker 1: money and they just give it to you. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I get that a lot. Everyone's always like is this real?
Speaker 1: When I first came into it, I didn't think it
Speaker 1: was real until it started happening and I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's real. And so I'm wondering if you can kind
Speaker 1: of explain more. I mean, as I understand it, you know,
Speaker 1: you have an online presence, people can see pictures and
Speaker 1: videos of you. You ask for tributes sometimes, but you
Speaker 1: also sometimes meet people, these being your your subs or
Speaker 1: your financial submissives in person, right, and sometimes do things
Speaker 1: like take them to an ATM. Yes, yeah, can you
Speaker 1: talk more about what that looks like. Yeah. So you'll
Speaker 1: have some subs that want to meet you in person,
Speaker 1: and we call them fin subs or financial subs. But
Speaker 1: then for the most part, financial domination is online. But
Speaker 1: for those subs that want to meet you, they want
Speaker 1: to do something that we call a cash meet, and
Speaker 1: that's when you are meeting the sub at ATM, you know,
Speaker 1: requesting a certain amount of money they should take out,
Speaker 1: and they hand it to you and either you can
Speaker 1: humiliate them, you can walk away any type of embarrassment
Speaker 1: that they might ask, whatever it is, it's all consensual.
Speaker 1: But there are some in person meetups in this field,
Speaker 1: not always necessary or not always required, but I think
Speaker 1: they're the most fun because it's like, not only are
Speaker 1: you giving me your money, but you're doing it in
Speaker 1: public and I get to humiliate you after I get
Speaker 1: the money. So to me, that's like something I just
Speaker 1: love to do. I'm so like impressed by I think
Speaker 1: I would have so much stage fright and like I'm
Speaker 1: impressed that, like you can just go with it and
Speaker 1: like turn on this side of you, Like do you
Speaker 1: ever have a moment where you're like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I can do this or are you just totally
Speaker 1: in it? Oh my gosh. Yes. So when I first
Speaker 1: started out, it was like hard for me to really
Speaker 1: get in the mode of knowing, like I'm going to
Speaker 1: humiliate someone because I'm from the South, so I have
Speaker 1: the sweet southern built thing, like I've always been just
Speaker 1: a sweetheart, I think so, and my first ever cashed me.
Speaker 1: I was very very nervous. I'm like, what do I
Speaker 1: say to them? Like what if there becomes a time
Speaker 1: where I paused or don't know what to say and
Speaker 1: we're just awkwardly standing there or whatever. But I got
Speaker 1: into the mode of getting better at it by like
Speaker 1: when I saw the subs, I would imagine somebody I
Speaker 1: really really hate it, especially a man or someone that's
Speaker 1: done me wrong in the past, and it was just
Speaker 1: easier in that way. And then when I realized like,
Speaker 1: not only was I humiliating them and doing something that
Speaker 1: made me feel good, then being humiliated with something that
Speaker 1: made them feel really good. So I was fulfilling something
Speaker 1: inside of them while doing something I had to learn
Speaker 1: how to do and learn how to come into. So
Speaker 1: it's something that yes, I was intimidated at first, and
Speaker 1: a lot of people are intimidated at first when they
Speaker 1: think about it. But it's one of those things that
Speaker 1: once you say that first word of humiliation, you just
Speaker 1: keep going and you can't stop. So it's like you
Speaker 1: get better at it. Yeah, you just have to tap
Speaker 1: into that part of you exactly. So, how how much
Speaker 1: money do you make doing this? Oh? Wow? It depends,
Speaker 1: so like a tribute could range from fifty dollars to
Speaker 1: a thousand dollars, and a tribute it's really just what
Speaker 1: a sub gives you to have conversation with you or
Speaker 1: to have access to you. So that doesn't mean like
Speaker 1: you have to send back any photos or videos or
Speaker 1: even have a session with them. A tribute is simply
Speaker 1: for appreciation, So those can range from fifty dollars to
Speaker 1: a thousand dollars. And then you get deeper into it
Speaker 1: when you have cash meets, because not only are you
Speaker 1: going to the cash meeting requesting they take out like
Speaker 1: a thousand out the ATM, but you're also getting a
Speaker 1: deposit before that meetup to secure the meetup, and then
Speaker 1: when you get into sessions, it gets even deeper because
Speaker 1: then it's per hour. So like there's been times where
Speaker 1: I've had sessions because, like I said, I'm a pro
Speaker 1: dominatric too, so I do the typical dom things of
Speaker 1: like whipping and you know, foot worship and all those things.
Speaker 1: So once you get into that, it can be upward
Speaker 1: of nine hundred hour, thousand an hour, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1: But I've gotten to the point where me being a
Speaker 1: financial dominatrix has done so well for me that I
Speaker 1: was able to quit my nine to five last year
Speaker 1: last January. Wow, congratulations, thank you, thank you. How much
Speaker 1: money were you making your previous job. It was really
Speaker 1: just an entry level like forty five K a year
Speaker 1: type salary, so you know, it was enough to get
Speaker 1: by and live in New York with roommates and things
Speaker 1: of that nature. But it was definitely not something I
Speaker 1: was happy in. It was something where even on my
Speaker 1: lunch break, I was going to see subs on ATM
Speaker 1: meet up while I was like working exactly exactly, or
Speaker 1: I'd be on my laptop, like you know, putting out
Speaker 1: ads or doing little things or editing pictures or whatever.
Speaker 1: So I always was just like ready to leave that
Speaker 1: job or whatever. So yeah, it wasn't it wasn't what
Speaker 1: I needed. And I mean, you have a master's degree
Speaker 1: in fashion marketing, so I imagine that that's helped you
Speaker 1: in your line of work now in terms of marketing, Like,
Speaker 1: can you talk about like what that degree has helped
Speaker 1: you with? Yeah, for sure. So, like my bachelor's degree
Speaker 1: was in fashion design, and then I moved to New
Speaker 1: York to learn more about the business of fashion. So
Speaker 1: I got my master's degree in fashion marketing, and that's
Speaker 1: helped me learn my niche market That's helped me learn
Speaker 1: like how to advertise pictures, what time of the day
Speaker 1: to advertise, who to advertise too. Even if I'm just
Speaker 1: having classes for other people that want to learn how
Speaker 1: to be doms is setting a price for that and
Speaker 1: what I offer with that. I mean I even throw events,
Speaker 1: so I throw brunches for women that want to learn
Speaker 1: how to do this stuff. So it's me being able
Speaker 1: to do all this marketing. And my friends always call
Speaker 1: me a marketing beast, like they can't understand how I'm
Speaker 1: like always going, going, going, it's like, because you know,
Speaker 1: in my corporate world, when I was working in corporate,
Speaker 1: that's something I just had to do in a daily
Speaker 1: So why not incorporated into what I'm doing now? Right?
Speaker 1: You know a lot of your clients, I think you've
Speaker 1: mentioned our CEOs, there are Wall Street types. They're high
Speaker 1: powered men in high powered jobs. Do you get a
Speaker 1: sense from them about why exactly they're interested in giving
Speaker 1: away their money and also in being dominated? I think
Speaker 1: for them it's the lack of power that they're having
Speaker 1: with me. So they're so used to being in charge.
Speaker 1: Like you said, they're CEOs and things of that nature,
Speaker 1: so they're so used to being in charge and calling
Speaker 1: the shots and this and that. But when they come
Speaker 1: to me, none of that exists. It's all about me.
Speaker 1: I call the shots, I make the schedule. I tell
Speaker 1: you when you need to be bowing to me or
Speaker 1: giving to me or sending to me. And for them
Speaker 1: it's just like, wow, I'm really being told something by
Speaker 1: someone that a is not only younger than me, but
Speaker 1: someone that is very dominant and I might not be
Speaker 1: used to this. So I think they get off to
Speaker 1: just have from that lack of control, Like, oh, I
Speaker 1: can't control what's going on right now. I can't tell
Speaker 1: them that they need to shut up and listen to me,
Speaker 1: Like I have to shut up and listen to them.
Speaker 1: And what about when it's just them sending you money
Speaker 1: and like there's no real back and forth, but it's
Speaker 1: just money appears in your account, Like what what's side about?
Speaker 1: Do you think? Oh, that's even better? And actually if they,
Speaker 1: if more of them could send me money and not
Speaker 1: say anything to me, oh life will be made. But
Speaker 1: we get a lot of silent senders and financial domination.
Speaker 1: Those are people that send money you don't know where
Speaker 1: it came from. They'll never tell you like oh I
Speaker 1: sent or whatever. I had once cup that was doing
Speaker 1: that for a long time. Now I realized who he
Speaker 1: was and I'll you know, I entered his DM, like
Speaker 1: you know, because he had been a long time sender,
Speaker 1: and I was like, what are your fetishes? What are
Speaker 1: your kink? And he was literally just like I'm not
Speaker 1: into any of that. I just want to send you
Speaker 1: money or whatever, and I would just like to keep
Speaker 1: it like silent. I was like perfect, Like that's perfect
Speaker 1: for me, But I think for a lot of them
Speaker 1: is to them, I guess it gives them a thrill
Speaker 1: of knowing, like, oh my god, I just sent money
Speaker 1: to a stranger on the other side of the world
Speaker 1: and I'm never going to see them and they don't
Speaker 1: have to talk to me, but I sent it and
Speaker 1: it's out of my wallet. Like I think for them,
Speaker 1: it's the thought of if I told someone this, they
Speaker 1: would look at me like I was crazy, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's it's different things that, you know make them
Speaker 1: feel great or fulfilled. You mentioned like you have this
Speaker 1: whole business and I'm curious more about your business model,
Speaker 1: like you have a segment where you do financial domination.
Speaker 1: You also do in person dominate tricks like what people
Speaker 1: classically think of dominate tricks set up being you have
Speaker 1: these brunches. You mentioned you have classes, Like can you
Speaker 1: tell us kind of how it all breaks out, Like
Speaker 1: what do you make the most money off of? What
Speaker 1: do you make the least money off of? I would
Speaker 1: have to say that I make the most money off
Speaker 1: of my in person sessions and my online courses because
Speaker 1: everyone wants to do everything online. Yes, I still have
Speaker 1: successful in person events, but there's an online option. Of course,
Speaker 1: everyone's going to take it just to be safe. I
Speaker 1: will say I make a good amount of money with
Speaker 1: my in person events and things of that nature, but
Speaker 1: it just takes so much to put those together, like
Speaker 1: you know, finding a venue, getting caterers, getting decorations, all
Speaker 1: those different types of things. So it's just like I
Speaker 1: try to make myself accessible in different ways because I
Speaker 1: realize that what I'm doing is something that a lot
Speaker 1: of people are curious about but are scared to jump into.
Speaker 1: So of course, you might not have those people that
Speaker 1: can show face at a public event like this because
Speaker 1: at my brunches, I have subs there and we actually
Speaker 1: like practice on them and things of that nature. But
Speaker 1: you might have people that work in nine to five
Speaker 1: jobs where they might be like, Okay, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be seen in public at an event like this.
Speaker 1: But that's why I offer the online events because they can,
Speaker 1: you know, have the freedom to be online and learn
Speaker 1: and not really have to show their face or be
Speaker 1: out in the public. Right Well, I mean along those lines,
Speaker 1: like I kind of wanted to ask you, sex work
Speaker 1: is this thing that we go with glamorize and at
Speaker 1: the same time society kind of doesn't know what to
Speaker 1: do with And I'm wondering, like, what are some of
Speaker 1: the pitfalls of this career choice for you. I think
Speaker 1: some of the pitfalls is like the constant judgment stereotypes,
Speaker 1: having to really explain your work, and having to explain
Speaker 1: that sex work is work, even when people just when
Speaker 1: I'm out at the bars or clubs, you know, the
Speaker 1: typical conversations like what do you do for work or whatever, like,
Speaker 1: and I'm someone that's always been so sture myself that
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna hide what I do, but I'll tell
Speaker 1: them I'm a dominatrix, and it's just right away, it's oh,
Speaker 1: that's crazy, that's weird, like or like, oh, you're not
Speaker 1: gonna beat me right now. I'm like okay, Like why
Speaker 1: would I start beating you at the bar? Like yeah.
Speaker 1: But it's getting those stereotypes. It's like having to really
Speaker 1: explain yourself, and you know, having to realize that our
Speaker 1: job isn't normal jobs, as much as we try to
Speaker 1: normalize it. Yes, like we can say that it's normal
Speaker 1: for us, but for other people will never be perceived
Speaker 1: as that. So it's just always having to find where
Speaker 1: we fit in or just feel like we're really fighting
Speaker 1: to just be heard. You know, right, yeah, And I
Speaker 1: mean it feels like you're like you've done a lot
Speaker 1: of thinking and planning in terms of keeping your personal
Speaker 1: life separate and also just in preparing to even get
Speaker 1: in this industry exactly. So you mentioned how much tributes
Speaker 1: could be. I mean, can you can you give us
Speaker 1: a sense? I notice on Twitter you recently posted you
Speaker 1: out of total sales of one hundred five thousand dollars
Speaker 1: to date and we're in October this year. Can you
Speaker 1: say like kind of what the total for the year
Speaker 1: might be like of all the things you do? So
Speaker 1: the sales I posted on Twitter just today are sales
Speaker 1: from like my brunches and Zoom courses and like any
Speaker 1: type of party I throw. So that's been all those
Speaker 1: sales for that. When it comes to like my financial
Speaker 1: domination and things of that nature, a lot of those
Speaker 1: tributes and things are gifts through cash at or gifts
Speaker 1: through Vemo. Like it's like if your friend was to
Speaker 1: send you eight hundred dollars on cash app for their
Speaker 1: portion of the rent. That's how it is when it's
Speaker 1: getting sent to me on cash App. So I would say,
Speaker 1: aside from that, if I was to mentally try to
Speaker 1: add up my cash app Venmo, even cash gifts or
Speaker 1: anything of that nature. I would say by now October
Speaker 1: it would be close to fifty km. And that's just
Speaker 1: me a just throwing a number out there, because there's
Speaker 1: so many things from session deposits, from when I'm having
Speaker 1: sessions Skype online, things from when I'm doing that. There's
Speaker 1: even things such as night flirt, which is phone sex operation,
Speaker 1: but there are subs that want to be humiliate on
Speaker 1: the phone. So there's so many different avenues of revenue
Speaker 1: that are coming in. Yeah, and that's like such a
Speaker 1: key part of being on top of your finances. Something
Speaker 1: I'm trying to work on. It's like having different income
Speaker 1: streams and it's like taking me so long to realize,
Speaker 1: like I shouldn't just work at one job, like you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: like that's how That's how I saw myself. Like I
Speaker 1: came in as a financial dominatrix, but I was just like, Okay,
Speaker 1: what happens when maybe one day something happens and I
Speaker 1: can't do this anymore or it gets tired of or whatever.
Speaker 1: Like that's why now I'm working on a lingerie line.
Speaker 1: So I want to get back into fashion. So it'll
Speaker 1: just come back full circate and it'll be advertised to
Speaker 1: sex workers. So it's like it's going to be a
Speaker 1: lingerie line finally buy a sex worker for sex worker
Speaker 1: while so it's like, you know, just trying to have
Speaker 1: those different streams of bringing everything back full circle, right,
Speaker 1: And I mean you mentioned like something about you know,
Speaker 1: this may not be what you want to do forever,
Speaker 1: Like do you think about, like, you know, where does
Speaker 1: this lead to? Like is there going to come a
Speaker 1: point in time where you're like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: do this anymore? And do you I don't know, do
Speaker 1: you have a thought about like what's kind of the
Speaker 1: future of this for you? I think for me, it
Speaker 1: depends on where the culture of kink and bdsm's goming.
Speaker 1: Like right now, it's really really big and popular because
Speaker 1: it's been shown in pop culture very much so lately,
Speaker 1: whether it's a Netflix show, whether it's like um, these
Speaker 1: artists and their music videos wearing leather and late texts,
Speaker 1: things of that nature. But I think I'll be in
Speaker 1: a space where I always will want to be a
Speaker 1: kink educator throwing events because I get so much like
Speaker 1: joy from throwing events and doing things but will I
Speaker 1: be ninety years old still whipping someone in a dungeon? Depends.
Speaker 1: I'm so impressed. Like the amount of money you're making
Speaker 1: sounds like, you know, at least one hundred and fifty
Speaker 1: K at least you know that's only as of October.
Speaker 1: Is definitely a far cry from the forty five K
Speaker 1: you were making before. What what has this allowed you
Speaker 1: to achieve financially that you might not have been able
Speaker 1: to tang otherwise? Oh wow? So I came from a
Speaker 1: family of six kids. My mom and dad are still married,
Speaker 1: So I came from a family of We didn't really
Speaker 1: have money to do a lot of extracurricular things. For instance,
Speaker 1: I'm going to Disney on Wednesday. Never been to Disney
Speaker 1: in my life, like, and you know, I'm going as
Speaker 1: an adult, And I wasn't able to do that when
Speaker 1: I was younger because there were so many of us,
Speaker 1: and like you know, we lived in different areas from
Speaker 1: the suburbs to the projects to the outskirts and all
Speaker 1: these different things. So I really didn't grow up with
Speaker 1: a financial knowledge that I needed, did not grow up
Speaker 1: financially responsible, was not taught things of like how to
Speaker 1: do taxes, and how to do this and that and
Speaker 1: apply for loans was really just thrown into it. Like
Speaker 1: that's just how I feel. So Ever, since I've come
Speaker 1: into this career, you know, I've been able to do
Speaker 1: things for myself. I've been able to save money, I've
Speaker 1: been able to keep a nice savings account, and and
Speaker 1: you know, pay things on time and improve my credit
Speaker 1: score and pay off loans and just do all these
Speaker 1: different things that I wasn't able to do. And within that,
Speaker 1: I'm able to help my parents. I'm able to send
Speaker 1: them money, I'm able to just buy them things if
Speaker 1: I want to buy them things. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: while learning that financial responsibility that I didn't have growing
Speaker 1: up from age like when I was in college until
Speaker 1: up until age twenty four, I want to say, so,
Speaker 1: it's really just it's taught me a lot about saving,
Speaker 1: It's taught me a lot about how to deal with
Speaker 1: so much money coming in at once. It's taught me
Speaker 1: about how to get business licenses and how to properly
Speaker 1: do my taxes and report things. It's just things I
Speaker 1: had to learn on my own. But I feel like
Speaker 1: if I hadn't got pushed to this point, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have like learned it. What are some of your long
Speaker 1: term financial goals? So right now I'm putting money into
Speaker 1: a dungeon I'm trying to build in New York City
Speaker 1: that's gonna be another stream of income. So basically a
Speaker 1: dungeon really where we focus on black sex workers having
Speaker 1: a saved space because we deal a lot. You know,
Speaker 1: even I starting now as a dime, I dealt a
Speaker 1: lot with with a lot of passive aggressiveness and like
Speaker 1: spaces that were mostly white or like white owned or whatever,
Speaker 1: so just really having no spaces for us. So and
Speaker 1: then you know, it's not a lot of dungeons in
Speaker 1: New York. A lot of dungeons got shut down during
Speaker 1: the pandemic. One dungeon that was black owned got shut down.
Speaker 1: So it's just me and my girlfriends who are also
Speaker 1: doms putting this dungeon together. So it's for me to
Speaker 1: put my money into that long term. And also I
Speaker 1: want to start a school like a Dominatrice Academy with
Speaker 1: you know, tuitions and semesters and all these different things.
Speaker 1: So I think it's just me always thinking how can
Speaker 1: I give back to the community that supports me so much?
Speaker 1: All the time, like, how can I give back to
Speaker 1: them all at once? So my long term goal is
Speaker 1: always financially, is always about healing and building within the community.
Speaker 1: So I feel like, as long as you heal and
Speaker 1: build and put money into the community, the universe will
Speaker 1: always give back. You know, You'll always be you always
Speaker 1: have abundance, You'll always be able to move how you
Speaker 1: need to move. So those are pretty much my long
Speaker 1: term goals. So many of your clients are white men, Yes,
Speaker 1: And one of the paddles that you spank people with
Speaker 1: says reparations on it. Yes, do you explicitly talk about
Speaker 1: reparations with your white male clients? I do. I definitely do.
Speaker 1: So I do a lot of reparations plays what we call.
Speaker 1: I do a lot of making them like do research
Speaker 1: on black women or black women in power or whatever. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I give them homework or either even just make
Speaker 1: them research me and do a paperwork on me and
Speaker 1: who I am. I'm like, like a lot of my
Speaker 1: subs when they approach I'm like, if you want to
Speaker 1: approach me and serve me, like you're saying, like I
Speaker 1: want you to want to serve me beyond what you're
Speaker 1: seeing in the images and that you think I'm beautiful
Speaker 1: and I'm high, Okay, anyone can say that. It's like,
Speaker 1: I want you to really study who I am and
Speaker 1: what I like so that you can properly serve me,
Speaker 1: you know, so that it's not just something you're doing
Speaker 1: out of boredom or because you have some extra money
Speaker 1: to spend today, you know. So I do a lot
Speaker 1: of just educating them. And I also run a group
Speaker 1: called Black dom Sorority where it's like a hundred of us.
Speaker 1: A couple members are in La, so we're like all
Speaker 1: over and you know, I use the subs to serve
Speaker 1: us at events. We have sleepovers and brunches and all
Speaker 1: types of things, and we'll have the white subs there
Speaker 1: and they'll really be like bound down to us. So
Speaker 1: I love just that element of my work. So you
Speaker 1: mentioned like Black Dompsterrity, you'll have these and that's a
Speaker 1: group of black and eye for Latina women and non
Speaker 1: binary people who are all domatrixes. Not right right, yes,
Speaker 1: and so like you'll have these white subs, Like will
Speaker 1: they be like serving the food and cleaning up? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so they'll serve the food. We've had them in like
Speaker 1: made outfits before cleaning up. We'll do like little fashion
Speaker 1: shows with them, little humiliating things, things that they like
Speaker 1: consented to we'll have. So, for instance, in December, we're
Speaker 1: having our holiday party in New York. So the holiday
Speaker 1: party is gonna be so much fun because we're gonna
Speaker 1: do so many different things, like making the subs pose
Speaker 1: as Christmas trees and just throwing decorations on them and
Speaker 1: things of that nature. It's really for our entertainment, but
Speaker 1: it's also for them to realize, like, you know, you
Speaker 1: wanted to serve us goes beyond you just typing this
Speaker 1: to me on Twitter, Like I want to see in
Speaker 1: person that you're really dedicated to serve us, because anybody
Speaker 1: can say, oh I love serving Black domps and things
Speaker 1: of that nature. And you know, a lot of the
Speaker 1: times these subs they try to see us as a
Speaker 1: fetish or they fetishize us. And so it's me really
Speaker 1: saying like, you know, you can like what you like,
Speaker 1: but also you have to understand what you're liking, and
Speaker 1: you have to see that person as a person also,
Speaker 1: not just as a kink or a fetish. And what
Speaker 1: kind of transformation have you seen? Have you seen, like
Speaker 1: have you had conversations with your subs where they actually
Speaker 1: get it and like they, I don't know, have more
Speaker 1: of a realization of what it means to for there
Speaker 1: to be reparations or for their them to actually respect
Speaker 1: black women, Like do you get that kind of feedback
Speaker 1: from them? Yeah, I've definitely seen a transformation. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've had one sub that says that he's learning more
Speaker 1: about black history and you know, learning more beyond his
Speaker 1: scope of what he was taught growing up. And you know,
Speaker 1: I have subs that I have them donate to certain
Speaker 1: causes or whatever that support black people, black set workers
Speaker 1: in general. So it's just always me teaching them how
Speaker 1: to give back, but also me teaching them that when
Speaker 1: I'm not around, because I might not always be around,
Speaker 1: it might not always be your dom, you still need
Speaker 1: to hold us to the same stature that you're holding me.
Speaker 1: So it shouldn't just be where you're just holding Mistress
Speaker 1: Marley as a black woman to a certain stature because
Speaker 1: you think she's hot and sexy and you want to
Speaker 1: serve her. It should be every black woman that crosses
Speaker 1: your path you should be treating like this. Have you
Speaker 1: ever actually controlled someone's bank account, like gotten their password
Speaker 1: and everything, so not their bank account password. But there
Speaker 1: is something that we do in Findom called team viewer,
Speaker 1: and that's basically when you remotely control their computer from
Speaker 1: your house. So I've like I've controlled it and they
Speaker 1: watch you do it the whole time. But I've controlled
Speaker 1: their like laptops or whatever from my house, and I've
Speaker 1: gone into their PayPal, logged in and sent myself money,
Speaker 1: or gone into their cash app for Venmo and sent
Speaker 1: myself money. So it's pretty much the same thing. So
Speaker 1: you have some subs that want that to happen for them. Wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got a dream job, I mean. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, like you have a lot of content out
Speaker 1: there on different platforms. You have an only fans account
Speaker 1: where people can see nude photos and videos of you,
Speaker 1: Like there's a possibility that like those silent centers are
Speaker 1: also taking in some of that content, right, yeah, But
Speaker 1: I think the thing with them too is that when
Speaker 1: they're looking at my content only fans, my content, my
Speaker 1: content is under the mail gaze, but it's not for
Speaker 1: the male gaze, if that makes sense. So my content
Speaker 1: is not me trying to convince you to touch me
Speaker 1: or be all over me, or I want you or
Speaker 1: I'm you know whatever they might say, or I'm horny
Speaker 1: or you know what a lot of people might do.
Speaker 1: My content is more so on the fact of look
Speaker 1: at me, you'll ever be able to touch me, You'll
Speaker 1: never be able to even be in the same room
Speaker 1: as me, You're a loser. Like it's still me humiliating,
Speaker 1: but in a way of being sensual with it. And
Speaker 1: I mean, this might be like a really stupid question,
Speaker 1: but do you think that this type of thing, especially
Speaker 1: the pendom stuff could work if there wasn't like literally
Speaker 1: anything sexual about it, Like if you were just like
Speaker 1: in your sweats and like didn't even post a picture
Speaker 1: of yourself or something like would would it work or
Speaker 1: oh for sure? Because when I when I first started out,
Speaker 1: it was just strictly content on Twitter, posting my feet,
Speaker 1: posting a picture of me doing a loser sign, like
Speaker 1: not even really having that only fans network or whatever.
Speaker 1: And then there's a lot of doms too that are faceless.
Speaker 1: They just show the neck down. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: stubs that love catfish fetish, so they love for you
Speaker 1: to use a fake picture on them and tell them
Speaker 1: it's a fake picture and they just love it. It's different. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's so many Like one of the main questions I get,
Speaker 1: because you not get a lot of women that do
Speaker 1: have these ninety five jobs when they ask me, how
Speaker 1: can I do this without showing my face? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: you can definitely do this about showing your face, because
Speaker 1: there's some stubs that really just like feet or just
Speaker 1: like to see you in stockings from the waist down
Speaker 1: or whatever. Like, there's so many different ways you can
Speaker 1: make money without ever showing your face. Well that's amazing.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize you can even make money not even
Speaker 1: showing a picture of yourself. Yeah you can, you definitely can. Wow.
Speaker 1: How do you decide what your rate should be? So
Speaker 1: my rates are decided upon how much energy am I
Speaker 1: putting into something mentally, physically, and emotionally. So if I'm
Speaker 1: whipping someone that's physical, that's something that can make your
Speaker 1: arm sore by the end of it or takes a
Speaker 1: lot of physical energy, So I would charge upward of
Speaker 1: eight hundred an hour for that. If I'm doing something
Speaker 1: where I'm verbally humiliating somebody, Okay, that's not as intense
Speaker 1: as physical domination, So maybe I'll do three hundred an
Speaker 1: hour for that. If I'm doing something where they want
Speaker 1: multiple kinks in one hour, it's like, okay, you really
Speaker 1: have to charge for that, you know, a thousand and upwards.
Speaker 1: So it just really depends on what you're putting into it.
Speaker 1: If it's ever to a point where you're doing something
Speaker 1: and you're thinking, oh my god, this is emotionally doing
Speaker 1: so much for me or mentally or I had to
Speaker 1: do so much to get prepared for this, you know.
Speaker 1: And as doms spend a lot of money on our outfits,
Speaker 1: leather and latex is not cheap. We spend a lot
Speaker 1: of money on our on our outfits, self care of
Speaker 1: our outfits, of our tools. A lot of these tools
Speaker 1: are handmade. A lot of them are like real leather
Speaker 1: and wood and things of that nature. So that's how
Speaker 1: I really determined my rates. It's like how much energy
Speaker 1: is being put into what I'm doing. I'm so curious
Speaker 1: as you mentioned that your expenses and I think about
Speaker 1: like your taxes or something like what all are your expenses?
Speaker 1: So my expenses vary from like until I open a dungeon.
Speaker 1: I am renting out dungeons for a session, so that's
Speaker 1: those are usually hourly fees, and those usually change per dungeons.
Speaker 1: So one dungeon might charge seventy five an hour, you
Speaker 1: might have another one that charges one fifty. It just
Speaker 1: depends on what's available that day and what you can use.
Speaker 1: So it's dungeon expenses. It's expenses of wanting to buy
Speaker 1: new tools and new toys because a lot of these
Speaker 1: things have wear and tear over time. So I've had
Speaker 1: a lot of paddles and things I've had it thrown
Speaker 1: out because they can't be used anymore. They've been used
Speaker 1: so much. Leather and latex. There's sometimes instances accidentally in
Speaker 1: latex where you might get oil or spill something on
Speaker 1: it and it's damaged so you have to replace it.
Speaker 1: Like those things are very sensitive and easy to mess up.
Speaker 1: So it's just dealing with incidentals like that. Expenses such
Speaker 1: as you know, like traveling to the session. But a
Speaker 1: lot of these expenses are put into the session price,
Speaker 1: so they're pretty much covered by the sub But these
Speaker 1: are different expenses that we have and me just being
Speaker 1: a very very feminine woman, you know, I always have
Speaker 1: my hair done every two weeks and nails and you know,
Speaker 1: all these different types of cosmetic things and keeping up
Speaker 1: with my general health and all these different things. So
Speaker 1: a lot of this money goes into things. It's not
Speaker 1: always oh, I got this big stack of money and
Speaker 1: it's going straight into the savings. Some of it might
Speaker 1: go into the savings, but some of it is going
Speaker 1: towards other expenses. Because as a dom especially in this
Speaker 1: industry where you're doing physical domination in person, your looks
Speaker 1: are everything. Yeah, how many hours a day do you work?
Speaker 1: It depends. So one thing about sex work two is
Speaker 1: your schedule is never the same. So my busiest days
Speaker 1: are days when I have sessions back to back, or
Speaker 1: when I'm recording content all day. So I like to
Speaker 1: work smart and not hard. So I'll spend a whole
Speaker 1: day recording content and different videos and post it on
Speaker 1: different days. You know, the subs don't know what days
Speaker 1: I don't or if you know, whatever, So those to
Speaker 1: me are the hardest because content creation is so hard.
Speaker 1: I mean, you spend all the time in the world,
Speaker 1: first of all, just doing your makeup and hair in
Speaker 1: your outfit, and then you have to set up the
Speaker 1: self timer and the editing and the lighting and making
Speaker 1: sure you're doing it at the right time of the
Speaker 1: day so you are getting lighting, so that itself takes
Speaker 1: a long time. But I will say maybe on an
Speaker 1: average day of sessions or whether it's virtual or whatever,
Speaker 1: or planning events, I will say, like, I'm up at
Speaker 1: nine o'clock and maybe done around three, so maybe I
Speaker 1: work at nine to three, you know. So it just depends.
Speaker 1: But it's that ability to be able to set my
Speaker 1: schedule and be able to say, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: not seeing anyone today, or I'm not seeing anyone tomorrow.
Speaker 1: I'll see whoever I want to see on Thursday. I
Speaker 1: could do a whole sessions, a whole day of sessions
Speaker 1: on a Thursday and make what I needed to make,
Speaker 1: you know, for the month. So it's it's different ways
Speaker 1: to just like set it up. But one thing about
Speaker 1: me is I'm always big on taking like I will
Speaker 1: take time off like I do not care. I will
Speaker 1: take the time off and vacation like even become to
Speaker 1: La was a vacation and time off just for myself,
Speaker 1: you know, So you have to really just make that time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that that kind of brings me to one
Speaker 1: of the questions I had, which is like, we all
Speaker 1: have days at work or we're just like like, I
Speaker 1: have to go to work, right, Do you ever feel
Speaker 1: like that or do you feel mostly like you love this?
Speaker 1: I love it. I think I only get times where
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I'm so like tired or
Speaker 1: whatever when it's like the day of an event, because
Speaker 1: I know events take a lot out of me, so
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, there's so many things that always
Speaker 1: come up days of an event, like the decorator isn't
Speaker 1: replying to your text right away, or like the caterers
Speaker 1: saying they're going to be this many minutes later or whatever.
Speaker 1: So it's always little things like that that come up.
Speaker 1: But within my actual work of being a pro dom
Speaker 1: and a financial dominatrix, I never get to that point.
Speaker 1: I get excited when it comes to doing sessions, even
Speaker 1: if it's just online or someone sending me money or
Speaker 1: a virtual Skype session or whatever it might be. I
Speaker 1: just always get excited because I'm like, especially if it's
Speaker 1: a new client, because I get to meet someone new
Speaker 1: and that first introduction is everything, and it's just like
Speaker 1: you never know where it can go, Like this can
Speaker 1: be my client that I only wanted one session today,
Speaker 1: or this could be my client that's sending money every
Speaker 1: day for me, you know. So it's for me it's
Speaker 1: the thrill and excitement because in this industry, you never
Speaker 1: know where things are gonna go. What do you indulge in? Financially?
Speaker 1: I love bags. I'm a back fanatic going through the
Speaker 1: fashion industry growing up or in college where I couldn't
Speaker 1: afford none of the things we were lying about. To
Speaker 1: be able to afford those things, now it gives me.
Speaker 1: It gives me like pride on it gives me a
Speaker 1: deeper sense of it. It's like a kid in a
Speaker 1: candy store. So I definitely indulge. I think I buy
Speaker 1: at least one luxury bag a month at this point. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so like I'm trying to work on it. But to me,
Speaker 1: it's just like I just love how it is. And
Speaker 1: for me, it's not even just buying the bag. Is
Speaker 1: some of these luxury stores give such good experiences, like
Speaker 1: you walk in and you get the champagne, and you know,
Speaker 1: you get like all these different things going on, and
Speaker 1: to me, it's just the air of it of just
Speaker 1: how it feels to be in spaces that I would
Speaker 1: have never thought i'd be able to be in, or
Speaker 1: spaces to where you know me going in around New York.
Speaker 1: Even when I had no money, I would be on
Speaker 1: Fifth Avenue, go on a shop and just feel embarrassed
Speaker 1: that I was in there and couldn't really like spend
Speaker 1: any money or just feel like, you know, I would
Speaker 1: never be able to obtain these things, So I will
Speaker 1: say that I'm a bad fanatic right now. Nice. Another
Speaker 1: question we have for everyone is what does enough look
Speaker 1: like to you? What does enough look like for me? Enough?
Speaker 1: For me, I guess would be like being fulfilled emotionally
Speaker 1: and mentally. So for me, it's like, even if I
Speaker 1: wasn't financially stable or financially to do things I could do,
Speaker 1: I think as long as I was fine mentally and emotionally,
Speaker 1: I would be great. You know, because a lot of
Speaker 1: people make a lot of this money and they hate
Speaker 1: themselves or they don't feel good about themselves, so they're
Speaker 1: never fulfilled or is not enough for them. But for me,
Speaker 1: it's just like, as long as I have good people
Speaker 1: around me and I can give back to people, and
Speaker 1: I feel great about myself and what I'm doing That's
Speaker 1: all that matters. You know. Do you feel like you
Speaker 1: have enough right now? No? You can always want more.
Speaker 1: You can always want more. I don't have enough bad
Speaker 1: but no, I think I think I do have. I
Speaker 1: have enough love within me and outside of me. So
Speaker 1: I have so many amazing people around me that have
Speaker 1: supported this journey, because for me, it's different. It's one
Speaker 1: thing to be a sex work online doing your own thing,
Speaker 1: and you know, you're not really in the like, not
Speaker 1: really in the scope of everyone's eyes and stuff. But
Speaker 1: for me to be doing all that, plus everyone's always
Speaker 1: watching me, and I'm in these big publications and doing
Speaker 1: these things, and I feel like people are waiting for
Speaker 1: me to mess up. It's like I have all these
Speaker 1: people that support me. I mean, I just having the
Speaker 1: privilege alone of my parents supporting my sex work is big.
Speaker 1: There are so many people in this industry that can't
Speaker 1: even tell their parents because they'll get this own kicked out,
Speaker 1: whatever it might be. But I have parents that not
Speaker 1: only support what I do, but they want to be
Speaker 1: a part of it. Like my mom's going to be
Speaker 1: my assistant for my lingerie line, Like she's like helping
Speaker 1: me all these things. And you know, my dad's always
Speaker 1: asking like do you need business cards? You need this?
Speaker 1: Or my dad's like I saw someone today that Mike
Speaker 1: could be a sub I'm okay, Dad, I don't even
Speaker 1: know what that means for you, but like, but it's
Speaker 1: just having all these people. I mean, my best friend
Speaker 1: is my assistant, My two other best friends are running
Speaker 1: a dungeon with me. Like, just having all these people
Speaker 1: that are close to me, that are supporting what I'm doing,
Speaker 1: that are always there. I mean they're there through everything,
Speaker 1: through the meltdowns before in an event, through like the
Speaker 1: nervousness before certain things, through having to deal with crazy clients.
Speaker 1: I mean sometimes my best friends come and sit in
Speaker 1: at security at my session. So it's just like that
Speaker 1: will always be enough for me. I heard that you
Speaker 1: have an affirmation that you say to yourself in the
Speaker 1: mirror every day, and I'm wondering if you can teach
Speaker 1: it to us. So affirmations are always a good thing
Speaker 1: because you could either repeat it to yourself in a mirror,
Speaker 1: or you can record your voice saying it on your
Speaker 1: phone and play it as you're going to sleep. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so a lot of people like to listen to mantras
Speaker 1: by other people, which are good, but to me, it
Speaker 1: has the most force in it when it's your own voice.
Speaker 1: So imagine you, like, so imagine you falling asleep and
Speaker 1: you're subconsciously listening into yourself and your ears say these things.
Speaker 1: You're gonna believe it because it's your voice. Right, So
Speaker 1: it's I'm a bad bitch. I'm a bad bitch. I'm
Speaker 1: a money magnet. I'm a money magnet. Everything I want want,
Speaker 1: I get, everything I want I get. I'm healthy, I'm wealthy.
Speaker 1: I'm that bitch. I'm healthy, I'm wealthy. I'm that bitch. Yes,
Speaker 1: I love it. Yes, I'm getting a note from our
Speaker 1: producer one wanting to know if you can dom me
Speaker 1: in one sentence like you do a client. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: that was a that was a good little touch. Producer.
Speaker 1: Shout out to you. What are your like, what are
Speaker 1: your what are your hard limits? First? Like, what is
Speaker 1: a absolute no? Can you give me an example of
Speaker 1: what a hard limit is? So hard limit is something
Speaker 1: that's just like no, absolutely. Don't say to me, I
Speaker 1: mean I don't. I don't think that I have. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't think that I have. Okay, even better. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: go for all right. So, hey, little bitch, you're gonna
Speaker 1: give me all your money, and you're gonna dream about
Speaker 1: me when you go to sleep, and I'm all you're
Speaker 1: gonna ever think about, because I'm all that matters to you,
Speaker 1: and your life is worthless without sending me money. Amazing,
Speaker 1: Thank you. Well, I actually have sent you money because
Speaker 1: I've subscribed to one of your channels. So oh, silent,
Speaker 1: we have a silence sender. Guys to a silent sender.
Speaker 1: Other People's Pockets is written and hosted by me My Allow.
Speaker 1: It's produced by me along with Joey Stanford and Dan Glucci.
Speaker 1: Production help by Angela Vane. Our mix engineer is Dan Glucci.
Speaker 1: Our executive producers are me My Allow along with Jane
Speaker 1: Marie and Dan Glucci. Special thanks to the Silence Senders.
Speaker 1: Other People's Pockets is a production of Pushkin Industries. If
Speaker 1: you love this show, consider subscribing to Pushkin Plus, offering
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