WEBVTT - David Nurse's Comeback Story 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:13.440 Welcome back, everybody. We're here for another episode of Comeback Stories. 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:17.160 I'm here with my main man, dere Waller. You're inside 0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:20.000 the Wind Hotel, Blue Wire Studios. Love you too. It's 0:00:20.000 --> 0:00:22.680 an honor always to sit with you. Got a great 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:27.240 guest today. So today's guest is the best best selling 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:31.319 author speaker, and he's been transforming the way hundreds of 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:34.560 NBA stars play on the court. He's written best two 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:36.960 best selling books and he's about to release his third. 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:40.640 He also runs a successful motivational coaching business and is 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:44.239 a highly sought after speaker, helping thousands of employees and 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:50.800 athletes develop unshakable mindsets. David Nurse, Welcome to the show man. 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:53.640 I'll appreciate you guys having me on. I feel like 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:55.400 this has been one that we've been trying to put 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:58.480 together and we finally made it happen. Yeah, kind of 0:00:58.520 --> 0:01:02.040 like this book that I hear that's coming out called 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:05.000 do It, and we just did it or we aren't 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:08.720 doing it one of the pretense we're making it happen. Man. 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:10.319 It's good to see your face and even though it's 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.039 not in the flesh, this is this is a good 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:16.039 alternative and we're gonna flow regardless, and we don't mess 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:19.000 around here on comeback stories. We usually dive right in 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:21.399 and we want to know for you, like what was 0:01:21.560 --> 0:01:28.520 life like growing up? So basically everything in my life 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:32.120 revolved around playing in the NBA. Now growing up in 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:34.800 the middle of nowhere, Cornfield Vile, being six foot one 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:37.120 in a vertical evil about two inches. My parents probably 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:40.679 should have said played tennis or golf, but I loved basketball, 0:01:41.000 --> 0:01:44.400 so I poured everything I had into it and no 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:47.000 backup plan. Like literally, I never thought about, hey, I 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:49.040 should think about other things to do while I'm at college. 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:53.440 It was NBA, NBA, NBA. Somebody probably should have told me, David, 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:56.200 that reality is not going to happen. And I'm playing 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:59.600 overseas in Spain, while I played in Australia in Greece, 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:01.840 and we'll fast forward to Spain and I'm playing in 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:06.400 the second division Basque Region Northern Spain, and it was 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:09.200 more like a Will Ferrell semi pro type of league 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:11.360 than it was anywhere close to the NBA. So it's 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:13.399 kind of a joke of the league. The players are 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:15.959 concerned about where the party's going to be at after 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:18.280 the game, and I'm here putting in these two days 0:02:18.280 --> 0:02:22.200 extra film study, optimization, all of it. I still think 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:26.320 I'm close to the NBA. And I get cut after 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:30.320 the first preseason game. The coach calls me over after 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:33.680 the game outside and the Basque Region mountains. I remember 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:36.840 this vividly exactly how it went down, and he just said, David, 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:40.560 you can't cut it. We're sending you home. So imagine 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:42.959 in your own life, listening to the right now, all 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:45.840 of your hopes and goals and dreams taken away from you, 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:47.520 and I just taken away from you, but without a 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:50.600 backup playing and basically your face rubbed in the dirt, 0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:53.959 insult to injury. And I go home and I'm living 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:56.239 on my parents recliner chair they live in Kansas City, 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:59.359 outside of Kansas City at the time, feeling bad for 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:02.520 myself for about six months, and my mom would always 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:05.480 say these motivational and inspirational quotes. And usually it was 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:07.880 whatever mom win in one year out the other year, 0:03:08.000 --> 0:03:11.400 like not paying attention. And I remember vividly as well. 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:13.160 She was doing dishes, I was kicked back in the 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:16.560 recliner chair and she said, David, when one door closes, 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:20.240 four open and an entire beach Trump Pattio overlooking the ocean, 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:22.680 and it hit me. I was like, Mom, I thought 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.240 it was one door, one door, But what she was 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:29.440 saying is when a door closes, it's an opportunity for 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:33.959 so much more great things to come. Everything that I 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:37.120 poured into playing in the NBA wasn't necessarily for me, 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:40.920 but I learned how to be able to teach these 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:43.760 players who had more God given abilities seven foot height 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:47.200 than athleticism to play in the NBA. So I also 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:52.240 realized that four doors opening is what is called taking action. 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:55.560 You don't wait for another door to open. One door closes. 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:57.040 I don't wait for the phone to ring. No one's 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:58.480 gonna call me up and be like, David, you want 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:00.880 an MBA coaching job just because that's what you want, 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:02.800 that doesn't happen. You had to pick up the phone 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:05.040 and go do it. And I realized this, so I 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:08.760 decided right then and there I was going to coach 0:04:09.400 --> 0:04:12.040 in the NBA. And we can dive into that how 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:14.520 it went about that. But I had no connections in 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:19.760 the NBA. So once again it's this incompetent confidence of man, 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:22.839 I want to do this, But all right, it's gonna 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:24.120 be a lot of hard work, it's going to take 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:26.680 a lot of time. Can I actually do it? Especially 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:28.840 since I just had everything taken away from me and 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:32.720 playing in the NBA, I can relate a lot to 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:35.919 the not having a plan b other than for me 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:38.599 it was baseball. My circumstances were different where it was 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:43.040 an injury and that's what kind of took the sport 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:46.200 away from me, a baseball and for me that started 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:51.320 a very very dark road, destructive, self destructive road of 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:54.680 addiction because my whole identity was wrapped in this idea 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:58.640 of a baseball player, a star athlete, and getting my 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:02.560 validation from the performance and the approval and caring what 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:05.240 people people thought about me, and that's where I would 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:07.840 just get my likes back in the day. There weren't 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:10.239 likes back then, but that's where I would get my approval. 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:13.560 So I can relate a lot. And for me, it 0:05:13.640 --> 0:05:16.240 sent me down a really really dark road. But for you, 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:19.240 if you go back into that, like, what was that 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:24.440 like for you when that loss of identity was happening, Well, yeah, 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:27.479 I mean I think it always when something that we 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:29.960 work so hard for and that we think is going 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:32.599 to be something that will eventually occur as taken away 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:35.919 from us. Naturally, we have that what was me feeling 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:40.680 bad mentality, when actually it's it's God's way of saying, Hey, 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:43.160 this wasn't meant for you. I have something greater for you. 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:45.599 Are you willing to trust this process that I'm about 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:48.160 to put you through? And it's it's what I called 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:52.560 the pit. Everybody, no matter what, spends time in the pit. 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:55.320 So for you, Donnie, when you were playing and you 0:05:55.320 --> 0:05:57.839 were going to be on this major league trajectory and 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:00.360 you got injured, at least you can use an injury 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:02.680 for your excuse. I can't use that. I just wasn't 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:06.599 very good. But you fall into this pit. So you 0:06:06.680 --> 0:06:09.280 go around all right, You're on top of the world, 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:12.320 and then you fall into this pit. And the difference 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:14.560 in people that come out of that are people that 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:17.680 are successful, are the ones who are willing to dance 0:06:17.720 --> 0:06:22.120 in the fire. This fire, this suck, this furnace. Like 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:24.240 you throw a coal, a piece of coal in there. 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:26.599 The longer it's in there, the shinier the diamond is 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:28.960 on the other side. The longer you're willing to embrace 0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:33.080 this difficult time. The more well versed you're going to 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:36.279 be on the other side of it. So wrapping around 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:38.920 what your question is and like, how do I feel? 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:42.360 How did I feel like that? Sure, I felt beaten down, 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:45.599 but then I realized, like that moment when my mom said, 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:48.760 there's four doors waiting to be open, there's something better 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:51.960 out there. Everything wasn't for loss. Just like everything that 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:55.360 you've done in your baseball career you're still using today. 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:58.360 It wasn't like, Okay, it's cut off and now it's 0:06:58.400 --> 0:07:01.159 all gone. It's not. It's never like that, but we 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:04.359 always think that. And I think life is like a 0:07:04.920 --> 0:07:08.159 literally like a long hallway, a long hallway with different 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:10.120 doors on the sides of it. You open the door, 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:12.480 you go in there, you spend time in there, you 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:15.080 learn something in there. Now you go back down the hallway, 0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:17.040 you open the door on the other side. You learn, 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:21.040 you grow, You constantly are moving forward, learning and growing 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:24.200 and transforming. And it's just I mean, I think that's 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:27.560 the beauty in life. There's no inSpot to it, and 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:31.240 it's all what happens to you is you're deciding factor 0:07:31.280 --> 0:07:33.560 of how you want to view that. Do you want 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:37.000 to view that in a well it's over I got injured, 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:40.280 or shoot, I got cut, I got fired. Woe is me? 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:42.280 Now I'm going to feel bad for myself. That's the 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:45.360 blamer mentality. And a lot of people hold themselves back 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:48.440 from taking action on what they're truly destined for because 0:07:48.520 --> 0:07:52.840 something someone they can put blame on, or someone burnt 0:07:52.880 --> 0:07:55.840 them in the past, and that's there. It's what I 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:59.080 call an action archetype. There's different action archetypes. That's the 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:01.160 blamer and the burnt. That's that's kind of the one 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.720 we're referring to right here. I mean we diving, right, 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:05.520 I mean, we talk about diving right in on the show. 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:08.560 We cannon ball it in on this one, like I mean, 0:08:08.720 --> 0:08:10.640 it's I mean, I love it. You know what I'm saying, 0:08:10.640 --> 0:08:12.480 talking about the pit like that's it got me fired 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:15.640 up right now because I feel like, you know, my 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:18.760 pit drug addiction, alcohol addiction, you know what I'm saying, 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:21.680 Like that has essentially gave me my purpose, you know 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:23.000 what I'm saying. And I see you, you know, I 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:24.680 see the books behind you on the wall. It's like 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:28.280 pivot and go, Like you wouldn't have wrote that book 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.160 if you didn't have to pivot. You talk about the 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:32.560 breakthrough like you wouldn't have written that book if you 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:34.800 didn't have to break through something yourself. So it's like 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:37.720 that pit like that we don't necessarily want to spend 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:41.400 time in. That's yucky, that's nasty, that's painful, Like we 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:44.800 have to be in that because our purpose are the 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:47.520 way that we can impact the world and give somebody 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:50.640 something and make their life better is from us being 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:52.680 in that pit and taking information from that pit and 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:54.760 learning from that pit. So if we don't develop that 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:57.920 perspective to learn from it, embrace it. Like I'm not 0:08:57.960 --> 0:09:00.440 sitting here if I wasn't a drug addict. I wasn't 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:02.360 I'm not sitting here if I wouldn't poping perk set 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:05.240 like they were in Sweethearts, you know what I'm saying, 0:09:05.280 --> 0:09:09.640 Like that's just but no, but nobody wants to hear 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:12.040 those things. But that's why three of us are here 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:14.400 to slap you right in the face, right out to 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:16.079 gay and let you know like this is what this 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:20.160 is what it's got to be like that. But that's 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:23.360 so powerful because think about the people that are going 0:09:23.400 --> 0:09:25.160 through the same thing that you went through, or any 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:28.079 type of drug addiction. You have more power to speak 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:30.200 to them on the ability to overcome it and use 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.600 it for your good and the good for others than 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:35.840 anybody else does. So that thing happening to you was 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:38.599 actually a gift in disguise that you're going to be 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:41.000 able to help many people afterwards. If you don't go 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:43.600 through that, your voice doesn't hit its strong and people 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:46.480 might not listen to you in that terms. Anything that 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:49.880 we go through now becomes a blessing that we because 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.400 initially you think and it's kind of like one of 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:55.480 those cheesy things you think initially it's like a massive 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:58.160 setback and its setbacks going to set you back for life. 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:00.760 But it's honestly, a setback is just a set up 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:03.760 for somebody else. And it's once again comes down to 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:06.680 how are you going to view life? And there's either 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:10.520 there's there's only two ways. Really, it's it's the okay, 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:13.200 I'm a victim, this is what life is doing to me, 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:16.959 or I'm going to use everything in life as an 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:20.439 opportunity for something better. And that's as simple as that. 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:23.200 That's the only two ways you can use things. It 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:25.240 has me thinking of the song that you wrote and 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.520 produced for the podcast the Comeback Stories theme song, which 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:31.640 says came back from the Pig. Yeah, it was the 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:33.600 first line. It was the the first line of the song. Bro, 0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:35.240 That's why, that's why, that's why I'm over here. You 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:37.200 know what I'm saying, I'm starts about to start sweating 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:40.760 and whatnot. So I see, I didn't even know that. 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:43.320 How about that for her? God put it in there. 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:45.880 Came back from the kid. Hey, you probably don't want 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:47.400 me to wrap it, so I'll just leave that to you. 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:51.160 I'll send you that song afterwards. D'ren just released another 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:54.120 album last week, and man, this dude is just straight 0:10:54.160 --> 0:10:58.080 different and talented. And you know, you have a lot 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:01.079 of athletes that are trying to be operas and artists, 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:05.920 and um, he's He's a true love from a place 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:08.400 of love and a place of joy. And uh, you 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:10.760 know what I'm saying, Like, if I if I had nothing, 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:12.559 if if if I couldn't get a penny, if I 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:14.680 couldn't get a stream, I would make music in my 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:18.280 room by myself. And that's just that's just what it is. 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:20.199 So and I feel like music is meant to be shared, 0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:23.040 so I just put it out to the world. Then 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:24.800 you know how you know how powerful that is and 0:11:25.120 --> 0:11:30.200 beautiful that is. You know, the most influential media stream 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:35.559 bar none, it's it's music. There's nothing more influential than 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:39.920 through music. TV's good, TV's powerful, but TV's for a hit. 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:43.760 Podcasts are great, books are great, but music is the 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:48.520 most influential way to change someone's feelings, change someone's heart, 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:51.560 and really speak through them. So that power that you 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:54.679 have for music, tod lean into that. I know you are. 0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:57.360 But if you're ever feeling any doubt of should you 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:03.720 be doing this? Do it? Like literally do it that 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:06.120 I wish I had that gift? Do you not have 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:09.720 that gift at all? And I know that going back 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:12.280 to the pit for you, what was the pit? What 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:13.960 would you say in your life if you were to 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:19.360 look back, What was the bottom of all bottoms for you? Man? Well, 0:12:19.360 --> 0:12:22.000 that was one of them for sure. Of Yeah. I 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:24.400 spent my whole life preparing for this, thinking that I 0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:26.760 was gonna make it here and I didn't and it 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:29.000 was taken away. But then I put five years into 0:12:29.640 --> 0:12:33.560 building relationships. I handwrote a letter to every NBA GM 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:37.319 to send out like something of just serving their organization, 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:39.959 wanting to coach in the NBA. I had no connections. 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:42.240 Nobody got back to me. But a month and a 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.280 half later, I got a call from the GM of 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.080 the Los Angeles Clippers at the time, Gary Sacks, and 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:49.360 we had a just a quick conversation. He said at 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:51.160 the end of it, if you're ever out in LA, 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:54.040 look me up. We'll grab coffee. Basically, good luck with 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:56.800 the rest of your life, kid. But I took that 0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:59.760 as an opportunity. He opened that door, so I booked it. 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:02.720 I could spend all my money, stole some of my parents' 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:05.360 money to be out in LA to meet with Gary 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.000 that following week, acting like I had a basketball camp 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:10.400 so I didn't look desperate, and we hit it off. 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:14.440 Every connection stemmed from Gary Sacks and the MBA that 0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:17.280 I have today that ended up coaching with the Nets. 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:20.679 Everyone from that taking a chance. So I'm setting up 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:24.080 the story to the biggest pit to answer your question. 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:27.120 To get there. Now, I realized, like the NBA wasn't 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:29.440 just gonna say hey, David, like cool, you know Gary 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.760 Sacks will give you a job. No, I had to 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.360 make myself the expert in something so they would want me. 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:37.240 And all I could do is shoot? Could Dan no 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:42.000 vertical then like playing defense? Just shoot? So I custom 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:46.000 made these basketballs to do basketball, do shooting camps. Had 0:13:46.040 --> 0:13:49.160 him made from China, terrible leather sent to the Oakland Seaport. 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:52.200 I get in my car, Nissan Maxima, small car. Drive 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:55.120 twenty nine hours from Kansas City to Oakland or with 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:58.800 these long haul truckers packing all their stuff, I'm packing 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:01.000 my little car with basket balls. I spend the next 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:04.840 five years doing basketball camps all over the country, sleeping 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:07.160 on friends, couches who didn't even know I was their friends, 0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:10.760 sleeping and well lived Walmart parking lots in many different cities. 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:13.880 I wake up five years later. We're fast forward five 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:17.560 years later, Melbourne, Australia. I have an email that says 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:21.680 Brooklyn Nets shooting coach. I thought it was a joke, spam, 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:25.200 didn't know anybody in Brooklyn clicked on it. Now next 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:27.880 week I am in Brooklyn as their shooting coach, this 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:31.600 young coach in the NBA. Five years in the making. 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:35.040 I made it so to set up that biggest pit 0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:38.240 once again. I'd already been through a pit moment in 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:41.120 my life. I think I'm gonna be this NBA this, 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:45.160 you know, in the NBA forever we go from twenty 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:48.600 eight to second in three point shooting percentage, all just 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:51.400 God's blessing. And we're like, I'm getting all this media, 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:55.960 New York media, NBA media, I'm there. The GM is 0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:59.240 saying three year deal, new head coach comes on at 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.320 the end of the year, and I'm out, I'm fired, 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:05.960 just like that, five years to get my deck, dream 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:09.120 job that I actually got to and I'm out, I'm fired. 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.400 And by that time that every other staff had had 0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:14.280 all the people that was laid in the offseason, and 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:19.720 again a door closed. So just constant pits, constant downfalls. 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:23.440 And what I've come to realize through going through many 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:26.800 of these and other smaller challenging times in my life 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:30.560 that losing people in my life or relationships of people 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:33.000 that I thought of the world of and now is 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:36.920 just completely you know, family type stuff that just gets strained. 0:15:36.920 --> 0:15:41.000 Like those types, like I understand that everything has its purpose, 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:43.320 it has its season, and it has its reason for 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:46.520 it that it that no matter what the pit that 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:49.320 I'm in, there is going to be another side to it. 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:52.640 And I also know like for me and having my 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:55.800 faith in God and in Jesus that it's not independence 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:58.320 on me, Like I don't have to put all this 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:01.080 weighted pressure on my shoulders, think that I have to perform, 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:02.840 that I have to make that happen, that I have 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:05.960 to generate and create everything that happens for me. I'd 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:08.200 be the biggest liar if I thought that, because there's 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:10.640 so many things, so many great blessings that come to me, 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:13.200 and I'm just like, where in the heck did that 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:15.640 come from? But I know where it came from, and 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:17.720 that gives me this ability to go through life with 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:20.160 a rhythm, with a pace, with a Okay, if I'm 0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:22.920 in the pit, cool, I'm gonna dance in the fire 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:25.000 because I'm gonna get I'm gonna just grow from this. 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:26.920 I'm gonna improve from this, and I'm gonna come out 0:16:26.920 --> 0:16:29.840 of it better. And there's gonna be another fire, because 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:31.880 whether you like to admit it or not, you are 0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:34.880 either currently in a fire or you are coming up 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:37.000 to a fire very soon. And that's just the way 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:39.600 life is. And it's how you dance in the fire. 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.880 How you deal with that is determines how your your life, 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:45.880 your joy, and your ultimate contentment is going to be. 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:50.880 I mean from that right there, I mean when we 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:53.040 talk about I mean I've heard that said in a 0:16:53.080 --> 0:16:57.760 different way, like you're either just exiting a storm or 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:02.000 a storm is it's on its way essentially, And it's 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:04.640 like from your journey, like making it to the NBA 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:07.240 as a coach, I feeling like you've arrived, like this 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:10.359 whole idea of like feeling like we're arriving someplace, or 0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:12.880 like there's this finish line that if I achieve this 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:15.600 position or if I get to a certain point of 0:17:15.640 --> 0:17:17.560 success or achievement, like I've made it, like I can 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:19.920 kick my feet up. I'm cool, I'm kicking it now. 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:22.720 But I feel like from that from you pivoting into 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.040 what you're doing now and things that you even have 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:28.880 lined up after that, Like can you speak to how 0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:32.199 it's not about arriving someplace, but it's really about you know, 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:35.600 hear the journey is the destination? Like can you explain 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:39.840 that to listeners that maybe don't know fully what that means. Yeah, 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.320 that's so good, Dan, and it's and it's so true. 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:45.360 I mean you look at Olympic gold medalists and if 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.520 you ask them if they're filled for life, from winning 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:50.879 the highest accolade an athlete can win. Their answer is 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.040 gonna be no. I had a friend who sold his 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:56.119 company for two hundred million dollars. He spent some time 0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:59.600 flying around to Italy on his plane. Got bored. Now 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:04.040 we start in another company. There is never any endpoint, 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:06.080 and that's the beauty of it. I don't say that 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:08.520 in a way to stress people out, but the fun 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:12.720 of life is the exhilarating journey, the exhilarating challenge and 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:16.280 being able to actually do it for an impact on somebody. 0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:18.399 And I tell people like, when you know you're in 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.639 your sweet spot, and I know I'm in my sweet 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:25.919 spot speaking and writing books and showing people different tools 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:28.520 to be able to use to unlock what's inside of them. 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:31.360 I know I'm in my sweet spot because I am 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:34.280 super passionate about it. I wake up in the morning 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:37.119 excited for the day to come, and I know it 0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:40.680 has purpose. And I know when you have passion and purpose, 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:44.240 you are on a mission. Not everybody's at that spot, 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:45.760 and that's totally okay. If you're listening to that and 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:47.639 you feel like, you know what, I don't feel like 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:51.479 I have purpose, Well, maybe you actually do maybe working 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:54.560 a job that is a nine to five or working 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.520 the late night hours. Maybe that's actually to show your 0:18:58.640 --> 0:19:01.199 kid what hard work is all about and how you 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:06.200 can actually, you know, implement those types of just morals 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:09.680 and characteristics into your child. Maybe that's the purpose. Maybe 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:13.520 you're still finding your passion. So yeah, I mean to 0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:18.359 your point, the journey is the joy. It's like I 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:20.639 have a stat that cruise ships. When you go on 0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:23.400 a cruise, most people think, okay, well where did you go? 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:27.640 You went to the Bahamas, you went to Alaska, that's 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:32.040 the destination. But in surveying people that have gone on 0:19:32.080 --> 0:19:36.560 this cruise, ninety two percent some cise cruise lines out 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:38.960 to find the exact the cruise that it was, but 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:42.720 cruise like ninety two percent of people enjoyed the cruise 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:46.960 journey over just getting to the destination. So what's that 0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:50.800 tell you? That destination will never fill you. It's cool 0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:53.359 to have something on the map, like a goal, but 0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:56.360 goals are just mile markers for a much bigger purpose. 0:19:56.840 --> 0:19:59.879 And if you stop at that goal, then you're done. 0:20:00.119 --> 0:20:03.320 Then you stop learning, you stopped growing, and ultimately that's 0:20:03.359 --> 0:20:05.960 like when people say, well I'm retired, all right, you 0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:08.200 just took ten years off your life because you retire 0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:10.280 because you have no more purpose of what you're doing. 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:12.960 And I'll give you one more thing in here to show, 0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:16.320 like okay, because people are thinking like, oh okay, then 0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:17.760 I have to do so much. I have to make 0:20:17.760 --> 0:20:19.400 sure I have so much impact. I have to reach 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:22.560 this many people. But wait, oh, this guy's reaching millions 0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:24.359 of people. I'll never be as good as them, So 0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:28.000 why do I even try? You know what? I challenge 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:31.439 you listening to this to name somebody that lived a 0:20:31.520 --> 0:20:34.119 hundred years ago that's not a president, named somebody lived 0:20:34.119 --> 0:20:36.280 a one hundred years ago that's not a president. You're 0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:39.120 struggling to do so because one hundred years from now, 0:20:39.600 --> 0:20:41.879 when you're dead, you know what it's going to remember you. 0:20:42.400 --> 0:20:45.800 And that's totally okay. It's a freedom that what you're 0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:48.400 doing here, you don't have to think that it has 0:20:48.400 --> 0:20:50.639 to be in every single history book. It doesn't have 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:52.920 to reach eight zillion people. You don't have to be 0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:55.960 George Washington, Martin Luther King. You can just be right 0:20:56.000 --> 0:20:59.120 where you're at having the impact that you're having with 0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:03.320 purpose and passion, understanding there is no end result. That's 0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:06.320 going to fulfill you. It's the joy in the daily 0:21:07.040 --> 0:21:12.840 journey at your own Yeah, yeah, yeah, David. I know 0:21:12.920 --> 0:21:15.040 you work with a lot of high performers and you 0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:18.000 have your coaching and I'm curious with because I talk 0:21:18.040 --> 0:21:20.359 a lot about this in coaching with goal setting, and 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:23.640 the most important part of goal setting is that last step, 0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:27.000 which is actually detaching from the outcome because we actually 0:21:27.000 --> 0:21:29.359 don't have control over the outcome. So I'd love to 0:21:29.400 --> 0:21:31.800 just hear your take on that and maybe how you 0:21:33.040 --> 0:21:36.240 express that to your athletes and to your coaching clients 0:21:36.359 --> 0:21:40.280 and the importance of letting go of the outcome. That's 0:21:40.320 --> 0:21:42.360 such a good question, Donnie. Thanks for asking that one. 0:21:42.680 --> 0:21:44.560 So I'll give you a story here. So I work 0:21:44.600 --> 0:21:47.639 with the players since his sophomore year at college, Norm 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:49.959 Pow he plays for the Los Angeles Clippers now. So 0:21:50.000 --> 0:21:51.760 at a time when he was playing for the Raptors, 0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:54.520 he was going in and out of the lineup, and 0:21:54.560 --> 0:21:57.760 this was four years ago. Well yeah, four years ago. 0:21:58.040 --> 0:21:59.720 He was going in and out of the lineup and 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:02.040 he was a coming up on a contract year. So 0:22:02.080 --> 0:22:04.359 he's like, you know, maybe he's not even in the 0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:07.880 league next year, and he wasn't really performing, but sometimes 0:22:07.880 --> 0:22:10.440 he'd have really good games and he'd be the best 0:22:10.480 --> 0:22:14.600 person to be around. Awesome when his results were really good. 0:22:14.800 --> 0:22:16.840 But when he didn't, then you really wouldn't want to 0:22:16.840 --> 0:22:19.240 be around him because he based his joy, he based 0:22:19.280 --> 0:22:22.640 his confidence. He based everything on results, the results being 0:22:22.760 --> 0:22:26.240 points per game. So we just decided, you know what, 0:22:26.480 --> 0:22:28.520 we got to change things up. We got to scrap 0:22:28.560 --> 0:22:31.560 this because it's not working. So we figured out what 0:22:31.680 --> 0:22:34.080 norm strengths were, like, who was he? What was his 0:22:34.119 --> 0:22:36.919 what I call system? So what you are you have 0:22:37.000 --> 0:22:40.840 your God given abilities? Is your system? And Norm's best 0:22:40.880 --> 0:22:45.119 two shots his system was catching shoot three in getting 0:22:45.160 --> 0:22:48.200 to the rim, downhill in transition. That's it. Those were 0:22:48.240 --> 0:22:51.080 his two best shots, his system. So now we had 0:22:51.119 --> 0:22:53.560 to figure out, okay, how do you get to those 0:22:53.560 --> 0:22:55.720 shots the most. We are no longer going to track 0:22:56.080 --> 0:22:59.159 points per game shooting percentage. All we were going to 0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:02.640 track is how many opportunities in your great zone your 0:23:02.680 --> 0:23:07.520 strengths do you get to. So system plus process, process 0:23:07.600 --> 0:23:10.600 are your daily habits. This was Norm's working on his 0:23:10.680 --> 0:23:13.320 catch and shoot. This was watching film to see how 0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:15.760 he could get a half a step quicker to these spots. 0:23:16.000 --> 0:23:18.840 This was studying defenders he'd play that night to understand 0:23:18.840 --> 0:23:20.399 how they're going to play him, to see how he 0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:23.000 can cut the angles to get to the room. Those 0:23:23.040 --> 0:23:25.359 were the only two things he was concerned about. That 0:23:25.560 --> 0:23:31.360 was his habits, his system plus process. The habits equal results. 0:23:32.160 --> 0:23:36.119 If you focus on results, they will never come. They 0:23:36.160 --> 0:23:38.480 will rise, they will fall, you will be miserable. But 0:23:38.480 --> 0:23:41.359 if you focus on your system and your process, the 0:23:41.480 --> 0:23:44.080 results will come. So he went a span of thirty 0:23:44.119 --> 0:23:47.879 games only shooting those two shots, and when the World's 0:23:47.880 --> 0:23:51.120 shut down in twenty twenty, Norm Pole he was coming 0:23:51.160 --> 0:23:53.680 off the bench, in and out of lineup. They just 0:23:54.240 --> 0:23:56.760 preface this that the Western Conference player of the Week 0:23:56.840 --> 0:23:59.760 that week was Lebron James, who we've all heard of. 0:24:00.160 --> 0:24:03.280 The Eastern Conference player of the week was Norm Powell. 0:24:03.800 --> 0:24:06.560 And Norm goes on to get a ninety two million 0:24:06.600 --> 0:24:10.200 dollars deal that following year with the Portland Trailblazers. Now 0:24:10.240 --> 0:24:13.480 he's probably gonna win the sixth Man of the Year Clippers, 0:24:13.480 --> 0:24:16.040 a star studded team. He's having a phenomenal career and 0:24:16.080 --> 0:24:19.480 we still do the same stuff. Literally talk to him 0:24:19.520 --> 0:24:22.200 a couple hours before this podcast going into his game 0:24:22.240 --> 0:24:25.840 tonight and just remembering, reminding him the shots that he's 0:24:25.880 --> 0:24:28.840 looking for, because last game didn't get as many minutes, 0:24:29.000 --> 0:24:30.760 but he's not gonna get thrown off, didn't get as 0:24:30.760 --> 0:24:32.880 many points, not gonna get thrown off. He hit all 0:24:32.960 --> 0:24:35.639 his great spots, and we're gonna stick to that system. 0:24:35.680 --> 0:24:39.399 We're gonna stick to that process. So yeah, understanding what 0:24:39.480 --> 0:24:42.280 your strengths are and then your daily habits and pouring 0:24:42.400 --> 0:24:45.160 into those strengths to continue to make those strengths great 0:24:45.640 --> 0:24:49.679 is what's going to equal the results. That's brilliant, because 0:24:50.000 --> 0:24:53.719 that's that's literally the way, without even really knowing, I 0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:57.480 was approaching it that way. So twenty nineteen twenty twenty 0:24:57.600 --> 0:25:00.040 was like the resurrection of my career, coming out of 0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:03.840 of a year long suspension. Played six games in twenty eighteen, 0:25:03.880 --> 0:25:08.000 but twenty nineteen was my first year starting, and going 0:25:08.000 --> 0:25:10.159 into that year, I was like, you know, I'm a 0:25:10.200 --> 0:25:13.320 first time starter. Like my Madden rating was sixty seven. 0:25:13.320 --> 0:25:15.679 I had to have been the lowest overall rated player 0:25:15.760 --> 0:25:19.760 going into a season to be considered a starter. So 0:25:19.800 --> 0:25:22.000 I wasn't like, how do I get my rating to 0:25:22.200 --> 0:25:25.159 ninety something or I need one hundred catches in this 0:25:25.280 --> 0:25:27.800 many yards, Like I'm like, how do I keep my 0:25:27.840 --> 0:25:31.159 pad level consistently down in my route running every single play? 0:25:31.200 --> 0:25:34.199 How do I make sure I'm you know, releasing with 0:25:34.280 --> 0:25:36.760 power and with speed. How do I make sure like 0:25:37.040 --> 0:25:39.720 every single catch I'm making, I'm seeing the ball eyes 0:25:39.760 --> 0:25:41.640 to the tuck. Is what my coach Frank used to say, 0:25:41.680 --> 0:25:44.600 Like all these little fundamentals, and it's like that turns 0:25:44.600 --> 0:25:47.800 into running one route at practice really well and coming 0:25:47.840 --> 0:25:49.399 back to the line and running that route again, and 0:25:49.400 --> 0:25:51.680 then it's like one route on top of one route 0:25:51.680 --> 0:25:53.800 on top of one route, turns into one practice, turns 0:25:53.840 --> 0:25:57.000 into one week of practice, turns into one game, and 0:25:57.080 --> 0:26:00.119 you're so focused in the process that you know up 0:26:00.160 --> 0:26:01.960 at the end of the year, both those seasons and 0:26:01.960 --> 0:26:03.879 it's back to back eleven hundred yard seasons. But this 0:26:03.960 --> 0:26:06.280 is from somebody that before that had never had more 0:26:06.320 --> 0:26:09.080 than one hundred yards in a season. So it's like, 0:26:09.440 --> 0:26:13.879 that's really like I hear and feel that process in 0:26:13.920 --> 0:26:16.679 my bones because I know that was me. I didn't 0:26:17.000 --> 0:26:19.040 have the ability to just be like, yeah, I'm popping 0:26:19.080 --> 0:26:21.280 in I'm getting a thousand yards, Like I didn't have 0:26:21.359 --> 0:26:25.119 more than one hundred in a season before that. So, um, like, 0:26:25.240 --> 0:26:28.760 that's just that's amazing. Man. That is into a t exactly. 0:26:28.800 --> 0:26:31.280 So what was your mad Madden rain after those two years? 0:26:32.080 --> 0:26:35.960 I think it was ninety three, ninety two, something like 0:26:36.000 --> 0:26:41.320 that twenty five point jump. We'll take it. Yeah, take 0:26:41.400 --> 0:26:46.280 that Madden under restimating you. I love that, and I 0:26:46.320 --> 0:26:50.240 love your explanation of the system because I feel like 0:26:50.280 --> 0:26:53.200 people that set goals and don't achieve them, it's not 0:26:53.240 --> 0:26:56.439 because the person's broken. It is because the system's broken, 0:26:56.960 --> 0:27:00.000 and then maybe their habits and rituals and whatever they're 0:27:00.040 --> 0:27:03.919 doing on a daily basis isn't as consistent. So I'm 0:27:03.960 --> 0:27:06.960 glad you touched on that. I love to get your 0:27:06.960 --> 0:27:09.640 take also on the whole idea of your You work 0:27:09.680 --> 0:27:14.400 a lot in the mental mindset, mental health, mental strength area. 0:27:14.560 --> 0:27:17.960 Our podcast is called Comeback Stories. We often talk about 0:27:18.040 --> 0:27:20.560 the story that we tell ourselves. The only story that 0:27:20.600 --> 0:27:24.320 matters is the one we tell ourselves. What's the importance 0:27:24.359 --> 0:27:26.600 of that? What have you seen? What are your thoughts 0:27:26.720 --> 0:27:33.600 about specifically the story that we tell ourselves? Name you 0:27:33.680 --> 0:27:37.800 are just your questions, guys? Come on, these are phenomenal questions. 0:27:38.080 --> 0:27:40.040 I'm getting excited over here because I got a lot 0:27:40.119 --> 0:27:43.520 for you on this all right. So you are either 0:27:43.840 --> 0:27:45.960 I told you're the one way that you view life. 0:27:45.960 --> 0:27:47.639 You either view it as it's happening to you is 0:27:47.680 --> 0:27:49.359 what was you? Or that you look at it as 0:27:49.359 --> 0:27:52.280 an opportunity, the same thing with the story that you 0:27:52.359 --> 0:27:55.120 tell yourself. All right, So you're either there's there's two 0:27:55.119 --> 0:27:57.919 wings of the spectrum now and every day when you 0:27:57.920 --> 0:28:00.880 wake up, it's either let's say, euro is over here 0:28:00.880 --> 0:28:04.919 on my left, this is ego, This is all for yourself. 0:28:05.640 --> 0:28:07.480 This side of the spectrum. On the right side is 0:28:07.560 --> 0:28:11.040 full alignment with God, meaning who you were made to be, 0:28:11.160 --> 0:28:14.240 who you were created to be. It's a constant battle 0:28:14.359 --> 0:28:17.960 daily when you wake up as gravity society life is 0:28:17.960 --> 0:28:21.040 trying to drag you down to ego when an actual 0:28:21.200 --> 0:28:24.080 your joy, in your contentment lies over here with your 0:28:24.080 --> 0:28:26.560 true potential, in your full alignment with God. So I 0:28:26.640 --> 0:28:30.160 tell you this and setting it up as every story 0:28:30.200 --> 0:28:32.560 that somebody else is going to say about you is 0:28:32.600 --> 0:28:34.600 going to bring you back to this side. Oh it's 0:28:34.640 --> 0:28:36.800 got to be about you. Oh do it, I did 0:28:36.840 --> 0:28:39.200 it my way. Oh this this this, you're dragging it 0:28:39.280 --> 0:28:45.080 back down to ego and everything that somebody says about you. 0:28:45.480 --> 0:28:48.560 If you allow that to have an effect on you, 0:28:49.000 --> 0:28:52.680 now you are actually becoming what other people the stories 0:28:52.720 --> 0:28:57.400 that they tell you. Once again, our natural inclination in 0:28:57.440 --> 0:29:02.120 our brain is to actually dat to the negative. And 0:29:02.240 --> 0:29:05.040 there's literally stuff science studies in the brain and put 0:29:05.040 --> 0:29:08.640 this in my next book, that our brain is defaulted 0:29:08.840 --> 0:29:12.160 to go into doubt mode, to go into negativity. Fifty 0:29:12.240 --> 0:29:16.440 thousand self talk thoughts daily on average, forty thousand of 0:29:16.480 --> 0:29:20.080 those eighty percent are negative. So you're already trying to 0:29:20.120 --> 0:29:23.960 combat that when you wake up. Here's the cool thing, 0:29:24.200 --> 0:29:26.880 all right, So when people think, well, this is just 0:29:26.920 --> 0:29:30.520 how i've ben, this is who I am. I can't change, 0:29:30.800 --> 0:29:34.200 this is how my parents raise me. Yeah, you can 0:29:34.320 --> 0:29:37.880 change all of that. Our body. I'll give you some 0:29:37.880 --> 0:29:41.600 some science behind this. That three hundred and thirty billion 0:29:41.720 --> 0:29:45.640 cells in your body are being replaced every single day. 0:29:45.960 --> 0:29:49.400 Literally that's one percent of your entire being. So over 0:29:49.440 --> 0:29:53.000 the course of one hundred days, every single one of 0:29:53.000 --> 0:29:56.200 your cells in your body is brand new. You are 0:29:56.240 --> 0:29:59.800 a brand new person then you were a hundred days ago. 0:30:00.240 --> 0:30:02.479 So you're saying you can't change from something you did 0:30:02.520 --> 0:30:04.920 a year ago. No, no, no no, that's in your past 0:30:05.680 --> 0:30:09.280 and you have to have there's there's three aspects of it. 0:30:09.400 --> 0:30:12.720 The past. Okay, there's nothing you can do to change that. 0:30:12.840 --> 0:30:15.360 The only thing you can do is learn from the past. 0:30:15.880 --> 0:30:19.080 It's it is. What happened in the past has led 0:30:19.080 --> 0:30:23.560 you exactly to this moment today, the present. You appreciate 0:30:23.600 --> 0:30:25.920 the present. You're not supposed to be anywhere other than 0:30:25.960 --> 0:30:29.600 where you are right now. And the future. Instead of fearing, 0:30:29.680 --> 0:30:33.960 instead of feeling anxiety for the future, you anticipate the 0:30:34.040 --> 0:30:37.400 future like you were going to anticipate a trip to 0:30:37.440 --> 0:30:39.880 Disney World when you were a kid. That type that 0:30:40.000 --> 0:30:43.200 shifts the game in your fear of anxiety for the future. 0:30:43.280 --> 0:30:46.280 The stories that you're telling yourself bring it back to 0:30:46.360 --> 0:30:50.440 the science too. Throw some more at you. You are losing, shedding, 0:30:50.880 --> 0:30:57.320 shedding your former self, your negativity. Seven thousand skin cells 0:30:57.320 --> 0:31:03.080 every minute, seven thousand minute, So your body is constantly changing, 0:31:03.120 --> 0:31:07.760 it's constantly evolving. Now, the question is who are you 0:31:07.840 --> 0:31:10.800 going to believe? The person you talk to the most, 0:31:11.240 --> 0:31:14.760 or somebody who probably doesn't even know you. Now, most 0:31:14.800 --> 0:31:17.200 of us will think it's that person that we don't 0:31:17.200 --> 0:31:21.280 even know somebody says something about you, says something negative 0:31:21.280 --> 0:31:25.080 about you eighty six thousand, four hundred seconds in a day. 0:31:25.640 --> 0:31:28.600 Now you know what many long people actually think about you. 0:31:28.640 --> 0:31:31.280 After they said something about you about ten seconds and 0:31:31.280 --> 0:31:33.480 then they're thinking about themselves or thinking about what they're 0:31:33.480 --> 0:31:35.320 having for dinner that night, you spend the next eighty 0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:38.200 six thousand, three hundred ninety seconds thinking about what they said, 0:31:38.920 --> 0:31:43.320 and that becomes who you tell yourself you are. So 0:31:44.160 --> 0:31:47.719 you get the opportunity literally to create your own story. 0:31:48.480 --> 0:31:51.120 Whatever happened in your past is going to set you 0:31:51.240 --> 0:31:53.880 up for who you are going to be. Like we 0:31:53.960 --> 0:31:56.080 talked about the pit, how do you use that in 0:31:56.120 --> 0:32:00.280 ways to do that? Literally every morning when you up 0:32:00.840 --> 0:32:03.680 right down or I have a magnet I've created these 0:32:03.720 --> 0:32:07.280 magnet says I vote for me, and then you put 0:32:07.320 --> 0:32:09.720 a picture in it, and that's the picture of your 0:32:09.720 --> 0:32:12.840 future self. Because also, if you can't see where you 0:32:12.880 --> 0:32:15.120 want to go, if you don't at least have a vision, 0:32:15.160 --> 0:32:16.840 and I'm I'm not saying it's going to be exactly that, 0:32:16.840 --> 0:32:19.240 It'll probably evolve on the way there. But if you 0:32:19.360 --> 0:32:22.560 don't have something you're shooting for a vision, Then where 0:32:22.600 --> 0:32:25.240 are you going? Like for me, I have New York 0:32:25.240 --> 0:32:28.000 Times number one bestseller on that I vote for myself 0:32:28.600 --> 0:32:30.320 because that's what I'm shooting for. I don't know when 0:32:30.360 --> 0:32:32.400 it's gonna happen. I would love for it to happen 0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:34.840 with this book coming out, but maybe it doesn't. Who knows. 0:32:35.080 --> 0:32:37.960 It might not happen for another forty books. But I'm 0:32:37.960 --> 0:32:41.480 just gonna keep going and going because I love the process. 0:32:41.880 --> 0:32:44.680 It's the journey. It's not going to happen on my time. 0:32:44.720 --> 0:32:47.240 It's gonna happen on a much better time, God's time. 0:32:47.560 --> 0:32:51.280 So I know this story that I'm creating is going 0:32:51.320 --> 0:32:55.760 to happen, and probably if I'm taking daily steps forward, 0:32:56.120 --> 0:33:00.040 going to happen in a much better way than I 0:33:00.080 --> 0:33:04.840 can even imagine myself. So I'm not saying, hey, negative thoughts, 0:33:05.000 --> 0:33:06.840 negative things are not going to happen. And I'm not 0:33:06.880 --> 0:33:09.560 saying you suppress these in act like they're not there. Sure, 0:33:09.680 --> 0:33:13.840 embrace them, see them, say hello to them like they're there, 0:33:14.360 --> 0:33:16.719 but don't let them control your life. You can pivot 0:33:16.760 --> 0:33:20.080 those negative thoughts that happen and now start putting in 0:33:20.120 --> 0:33:22.640 these positives. That's why people say gratitude. Just the act 0:33:22.680 --> 0:33:27.800 of writing gratitude increases your IQ, It increases your happiness, 0:33:27.880 --> 0:33:30.960 like so many different joyful ratings, just writing down little 0:33:31.000 --> 0:33:33.880 small things that you're thankful for. I do it every morning, 0:33:33.960 --> 0:33:37.240 sometimes as small as a cup of coffee I'm drinking, 0:33:37.360 --> 0:33:39.800 or me and my wife watched a great show the 0:33:39.920 --> 0:33:43.120 night before. It's small things like that. So it's these 0:33:43.160 --> 0:33:46.680 processes back to the system, process, equal and results. And 0:33:46.960 --> 0:33:49.600 I know I went about eight zillion different directions there, 0:33:49.640 --> 0:33:52.720 So hopefully something stuck with you and that you can 0:33:52.760 --> 0:33:56.040 take away for those listening out there. Oh nah, man, 0:33:56.120 --> 0:34:00.240 for sure, there's a million takeaways there, especially starting staring 0:34:00.280 --> 0:34:03.120 with start with vision, for sure. If you don't have 0:34:03.160 --> 0:34:06.120 a vision for what you want your life to look like, uh, 0:34:06.240 --> 0:34:08.080 and somebody for like me and like yourself, like the 0:34:08.160 --> 0:34:13.239 vision for what God has for our lives, we leave 0:34:13.280 --> 0:34:17.200 ourselves prone to our vision being shaped by outside people, 0:34:17.320 --> 0:34:23.080 outside forces, outside energies. When I was younger, I can't 0:34:23.080 --> 0:34:25.160 think of all the countless lives that I believed in 0:34:25.200 --> 0:34:28.600 and prescribe to as far as what a man is, 0:34:29.080 --> 0:34:31.799 as far as what a man embodies, as far as 0:34:32.080 --> 0:34:36.879 as as what successes, as far as what happiness looks 0:34:36.920 --> 0:34:40.239 like and how to essentially get to happiness, which is 0:34:40.280 --> 0:34:44.080 another endpoint that we're talking about, uh, that we we 0:34:44.120 --> 0:34:47.520 can't really arrive too. So I'm stuck on that because 0:34:47.560 --> 0:34:50.359 I've been in that place to where it's like, how 0:34:50.360 --> 0:34:52.239 can I feel like my life is meaningless? How can 0:34:52.280 --> 0:34:54.480 I feel like I have nothing I contribute to nothing 0:34:55.000 --> 0:34:57.640 good here in the grand scheme of things. It's because 0:34:58.200 --> 0:35:00.960 that I didn't have a VISI and for myself, I 0:35:01.000 --> 0:35:03.959 heard of pastors say recently, don't listen to yourself, talk 0:35:04.000 --> 0:35:07.319 to yourself, and I'm like, that's crazy because it's like, 0:35:07.640 --> 0:35:11.120 I mean, you talk about them forty thousand of them. 0:35:11.280 --> 0:35:15.160 Ut of those fifty thousand thoughts are negative, I'm probably 0:35:15.160 --> 0:35:18.920 like mid forties. Uh, if I if I don't, if 0:35:18.920 --> 0:35:21.279 I don't combat them, if I don't replace them with 0:35:21.640 --> 0:35:24.520 the narrative that I really want to see when out, 0:35:24.560 --> 0:35:27.640 because I'm already at a disadvantage mathematically, like the number 0:35:27.719 --> 0:35:31.080 the numbers tell us. So just as far as a vision, 0:35:31.200 --> 0:35:33.880 and you got to be able to give yourself time 0:35:33.960 --> 0:35:37.680 to allow it to develop and not have it necessarily 0:35:37.760 --> 0:35:40.480 be in place and be rooted in you right away, 0:35:40.600 --> 0:35:43.400 Like for twenty five, the first twenty five years of 0:35:43.480 --> 0:35:47.520 my life I thought about, you know, nothing was vision related. 0:35:47.560 --> 0:35:50.239 So the fact that I'm thirty now and I feel 0:35:50.280 --> 0:35:53.800 like I'm on that journey now, I can't be pissed 0:35:53.840 --> 0:35:57.480 off or entitled to feel like my ship should all 0:35:57.480 --> 0:36:00.239 be in line now when twenty five is a lot 0:36:00.239 --> 0:36:02.480 greater than five, you know what I'm saying. So just that, 0:36:02.600 --> 0:36:05.880 just that takeaway as far as vision is man bowing 0:36:05.920 --> 0:36:09.719 to me and just life changing. Yeah, that's that's so 0:36:09.800 --> 0:36:12.040 powerful what you just said too, Like you have to 0:36:12.080 --> 0:36:15.480 be willing to let allow it to take time. Think 0:36:15.520 --> 0:36:18.920 about this in the Bible, anybody, any of the great people, 0:36:19.080 --> 0:36:22.239 but did anything happened quickly for them? There's often you 0:36:22.400 --> 0:36:25.799 read it forty years of times in the desert, or 0:36:25.920 --> 0:36:29.600 just complete struggle and job getting everything taken away from 0:36:29.640 --> 0:36:33.560 So everybody went through struggle, and everybody went through a 0:36:33.760 --> 0:36:37.480 long time of testing in patience. Look at it and 0:36:37.520 --> 0:36:40.960 people in recent history, does anybody just anybody that just 0:36:41.160 --> 0:36:46.239 rises to fame with with actually validated purpose behind it. 0:36:46.280 --> 0:36:49.200 I'm not saying insta fame or the Kim Carter like, 0:36:49.280 --> 0:36:53.960 I'm not saying that, but George Washington, Martin Luther King, 0:36:54.160 --> 0:36:58.680 look at um any type of leader, the Elon Musk 0:36:58.840 --> 0:37:02.719 that didn't just happen overnight. It's a long time of 0:37:02.920 --> 0:37:06.880 doing the work. When you are being tested, when the 0:37:06.960 --> 0:37:10.560 lights aren't on, when stuff isn't working out, when nobody's 0:37:10.560 --> 0:37:13.279 patting you on the back. Are you willing to put 0:37:13.320 --> 0:37:16.279 those years in? And I know you are so like 0:37:16.320 --> 0:37:19.000 you at forty, You're gonna look back and you're gonna 0:37:19.000 --> 0:37:20.799 be like, WHOA who was I at thirty? I can't 0:37:20.800 --> 0:37:24.279 even believe that. Because you've grown so much, because you 0:37:24.400 --> 0:37:28.320 have a vision, you're taking steps forward. The worst action 0:37:28.400 --> 0:37:30.680 that you can take is in action and just stay 0:37:30.800 --> 0:37:33.800 right where you're at, because you would not learn anything 0:37:33.800 --> 0:37:36.440 if you're just trying to stay put right in your 0:37:36.440 --> 0:37:39.919 place right now, keep moving forward. What do you feel 0:37:39.960 --> 0:37:44.680 like stops people from taking action? Well, at the court's fear, 0:37:44.880 --> 0:37:47.239 and there's fear in a lot of different reasons, So 0:37:47.360 --> 0:37:49.800 fear of other people's opinions. I'm not gonna take action 0:37:49.840 --> 0:37:52.239 because I'm worried what someone's gonna say about me. Like 0:37:52.480 --> 0:37:54.439 if Darren would have said, Hey, I'm worried about people 0:37:54.440 --> 0:37:56.120 are going to think about my music, you wouldn't have 0:37:56.120 --> 0:38:00.640 taken action. There's blaming others, and it's the easier route 0:38:00.640 --> 0:38:04.240 to blame others than think like, oh, well, it's actually 0:38:04.320 --> 0:38:06.600 I'm the reason it's not happening. We talked about being 0:38:06.600 --> 0:38:09.359 burnt by the past. You think you're too old, you 0:38:09.360 --> 0:38:12.800 think you're too young to do something. That's never the truth. 0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:17.759 I mean, your brain, it develops and it matures at 0:38:17.800 --> 0:38:20.720 a certain spot, but it never stops learning and growing. 0:38:20.719 --> 0:38:24.080 There's a difference between maturing and growing. I mean, there's 0:38:24.120 --> 0:38:26.520 an eighty five year old there named Nola Oakes. She 0:38:26.640 --> 0:38:29.920 graduated from college, she got her degree, she learned a language, 0:38:29.920 --> 0:38:32.960 Like it's crazy what your brain can actually do because 0:38:32.960 --> 0:38:37.160 of the neuroplasticity that your brain has. So there's so 0:38:37.239 --> 0:38:40.160 many there's the nine reasons that I have done the 0:38:40.200 --> 0:38:42.840 studies and the research behind to find the main reasons. 0:38:42.880 --> 0:38:48.280 But it all is rooted in fear, honestly, fear of like, well, 0:38:48.440 --> 0:38:51.239 if I do this, if I take action and take 0:38:51.280 --> 0:38:54.719 a chance, well what's going to happen? And it kind 0:38:54.719 --> 0:38:58.160 of comes back to also thinking like the worst case scenario. 0:38:58.280 --> 0:39:01.440 Our brains are wired to think worst case scenario. If 0:39:01.440 --> 0:39:03.279 you look this up. You look up these studies. These 0:39:03.400 --> 0:39:06.759 these guys names luff Rain, I'll probably a French cow 0:39:06.840 --> 0:39:11.239 butcher his name. But ninety two point eight percent of 0:39:11.320 --> 0:39:14.160 worst case scenario thoughts from the study group that they 0:39:14.200 --> 0:39:18.120 did never happened. Ninety two point eight percent never happened. 0:39:18.560 --> 0:39:22.080 And of those people in that study, they were thinking 0:39:22.120 --> 0:39:25.440 about these worst case scenario thoughts for twenty five percent 0:39:25.480 --> 0:39:28.040 of their day. So think about that, things that are 0:39:28.080 --> 0:39:31.400 never actually going to happen are consuming one fourth of 0:39:31.440 --> 0:39:33.799 your day. They never happen, but yet they steal away 0:39:33.840 --> 0:39:37.719 all your joy. It's crazy, but so many of us 0:39:37.760 --> 0:39:41.880 live in that because we have this this fear of well, 0:39:41.920 --> 0:39:46.480 if I take action, what's going to happen? It's uncertainty. 0:39:46.520 --> 0:39:49.600 That's what people fear, uncertainty. So it kind of comes 0:39:49.600 --> 0:39:52.640 back to once again the stories that we tell ourselves. 0:39:53.400 --> 0:39:56.600 And I never realize when Darren and I named our 0:39:56.760 --> 0:40:01.400 podcast comeback stories about how like how many different meanings 0:40:01.440 --> 0:40:04.239 it would take on and the importance of this. And 0:40:04.280 --> 0:40:06.960 I just feel like we as human beings are very 0:40:07.840 --> 0:40:14.440 inaccurate and somewhat terrible narrators of the story, very unreliable 0:40:14.760 --> 0:40:17.160 on how we're narrating what's happening in front of us. 0:40:17.160 --> 0:40:19.680 And that's why I think I love talking mental health 0:40:19.680 --> 0:40:22.080 mental strength, and I know you dive a lot into that, 0:40:22.800 --> 0:40:25.040 and it's the importance of it so that we can 0:40:25.080 --> 0:40:28.040 recognize those negative thoughts because it is all about awareness. 0:40:28.080 --> 0:40:31.280 And so if ninety percent of those thoughts that we're having, 0:40:31.360 --> 0:40:33.959 our negative thoughts, or eighty percent to ninety two percent 0:40:34.000 --> 0:40:36.719 of the things we worry about never even happen, then 0:40:36.760 --> 0:40:40.840 the only thing that can really be a pattern interrupt 0:40:40.920 --> 0:40:44.040 is awareness. And then there's awareness, right, and then there's 0:40:44.080 --> 0:40:46.600 action like you're saying, do it. But I'm just curious 0:40:46.600 --> 0:40:51.839 for you from a mental health mindset, mental strength perspective, 0:40:52.840 --> 0:40:55.600 what do you see specifically with your athletes, like the 0:40:55.680 --> 0:40:59.160 power of visualization and maybe some techniques or some little 0:40:59.160 --> 0:41:02.680 tools that you could share and how that's benefited some 0:41:02.719 --> 0:41:06.120 of the athletes and humans you've worked with totally, And 0:41:06.160 --> 0:41:07.919 I think that all comes to the story that you're 0:41:07.920 --> 0:41:10.720 telling yourself too, and the vision that Darren was talking about. 0:41:11.040 --> 0:41:15.200 So I worked a lot with visualization, and primarily in 0:41:15.320 --> 0:41:18.680 two different avenues, the first one being the personal highlight 0:41:18.719 --> 0:41:22.400 reel because we've all had that moment were in the zone. 0:41:22.920 --> 0:41:24.920 And that's another study that I'm working on now, how 0:41:24.960 --> 0:41:27.319 to figure out the actual formula to get into flow 0:41:27.360 --> 0:41:29.879 state and to get into what I call focus. So 0:41:29.920 --> 0:41:31.600 that'll be coming in a couple of years that we're 0:41:31.600 --> 0:41:35.200 working on, But for right now, it's the recalling that 0:41:35.280 --> 0:41:37.759 time when you were in the zone. Darren recalling the 0:41:37.840 --> 0:41:39.719 time when he had the most catches in a game 0:41:39.800 --> 0:41:43.080 that time like this, nobody could stop him. That's the feeling, 0:41:43.160 --> 0:41:46.439 not just visually seeing it, but also feeling what were 0:41:46.440 --> 0:41:50.520 you feeling, seeing the surroundings that your teammates giving you 0:41:50.600 --> 0:41:52.640 high fives, maybe getting the game ball in the locker 0:41:52.719 --> 0:41:56.840 room afterwards. Recreating that moment already puts into Darren this 0:41:56.920 --> 0:42:00.759 dopamine rush, this energy, this positivity, so that when he 0:42:00.800 --> 0:42:03.359 steps out on the floor, he's going to feel like 0:42:03.440 --> 0:42:06.040 he is that person. So thinking about that, even if 0:42:06.040 --> 0:42:07.920 you're not an athlete, like where did you kill? A 0:42:09.120 --> 0:42:13.120 business presentation, a sales call, make an amazing dinner for 0:42:13.200 --> 0:42:15.040 your family, if you're a stay at home mom. There's 0:42:15.080 --> 0:42:19.000 all different ways of that zone moment, but you recreate it. 0:42:19.640 --> 0:42:21.799 You have to practice recreating this too, So I have 0:42:21.920 --> 0:42:24.680 my players do it every single practice and of course 0:42:24.719 --> 0:42:28.000 every single game, so it becomes something that they're able 0:42:28.000 --> 0:42:30.719 to do, they're able to call up. Then the other 0:42:30.760 --> 0:42:35.160 one is the visualization of the future, and Kobe in 0:42:36.040 --> 0:42:39.799 MJ's mindset, coach taught me this George Mumford, where they 0:42:39.840 --> 0:42:44.560 would see the game happen and unfold how they wanted 0:42:44.640 --> 0:42:47.560 to see it. So you're picking your exactly what you 0:42:47.600 --> 0:42:50.120 want to have happened, watching yourself go through every move, 0:42:50.200 --> 0:42:54.280 the spinaway, fall away jumpers, the step backs, the dunks, 0:42:54.320 --> 0:42:57.400 whatever it is. You see it, how you visualize it, 0:42:58.080 --> 0:43:01.840 and then they watch it again in their mind seeing 0:43:01.880 --> 0:43:05.279 when some kind of storm happens in the game, they 0:43:05.320 --> 0:43:07.879 turn it over three times they airball is shot. Now, 0:43:07.920 --> 0:43:11.080 how do you recover and how do you come back 0:43:11.520 --> 0:43:14.800 from that moment? Because there's always going to be something 0:43:14.840 --> 0:43:16.880 that happens to you in the game, There's always going 0:43:16.920 --> 0:43:19.799 to be something that hits you in life. It's how 0:43:19.880 --> 0:43:23.320 you react through that. And if you're already proactively seeing 0:43:23.360 --> 0:43:26.680 how you're going to react in the moment, now you're 0:43:26.719 --> 0:43:29.680 able to overcome it instead of letting that thing hit 0:43:29.760 --> 0:43:32.520 you in the face and knock you down and stop you. 0:43:32.560 --> 0:43:35.600 So those are the two ways that I use visualization 0:43:35.680 --> 0:43:39.719 with athletes, I mean with anybody really that can do 0:43:39.719 --> 0:43:42.480 that and implement it in their own style of life. 0:43:43.280 --> 0:43:46.240 And then that I feel like just the whole visualization 0:43:46.280 --> 0:43:48.959 process it prepares you to allow you to go into 0:43:48.960 --> 0:43:52.000 the game and just adapt to things. I feel like, yeah, 0:43:52.120 --> 0:43:55.560 there's a lot of myths, especially within football, that I 0:43:55.840 --> 0:43:58.480 don't think I've prescribed. You haven't necessarily been healthy for me. 0:43:59.000 --> 0:44:02.560 You think like people you talk about coverage recognition, like 0:44:02.600 --> 0:44:04.960 how you should know the coverage before the ball snap, 0:44:05.000 --> 0:44:08.959 Like these teams are so good at disguising coverages now, 0:44:09.000 --> 0:44:12.040 and how they roll into different coverages, Like I look 0:44:12.080 --> 0:44:15.360 at and visualize what is their initial shell, Like how 0:44:15.400 --> 0:44:17.440 are they going to line up initially? And then my 0:44:17.480 --> 0:44:19.239 first three steps off the ball, like how am I 0:44:19.280 --> 0:44:21.400 going to recognize these things and allow them to adapt? 0:44:21.440 --> 0:44:24.520 So basically, like I can't just think my way through 0:44:24.560 --> 0:44:28.120 everything and like oversqueeze it and over analyze it. I 0:44:28.120 --> 0:44:31.319 had to coach call it paralysis by analysis. At some point, 0:44:31.360 --> 0:44:33.160 I got to allow myself to go out there and 0:44:33.320 --> 0:44:36.040 just do what I do naturally and not try to 0:44:36.040 --> 0:44:40.640 put these parameters or put these you know, just this 0:44:40.800 --> 0:44:43.840 overthinking of it, it's all. It is really like, I 0:44:43.880 --> 0:44:45.920 have to allow myself to go out there and do 0:44:46.120 --> 0:44:48.960 what I trained myself to do. Do it freely, do 0:44:49.000 --> 0:44:51.680 it with joy, do it with gratitude. And I can't 0:44:51.719 --> 0:44:54.279 do that if I'm analyzing it up and down. So 0:44:54.280 --> 0:44:56.080 that's why I feel like the visualization comes in. I 0:44:56.120 --> 0:44:59.680 sit in, I plan it's vision. It allows me to 0:44:59.680 --> 0:45:02.360 see the pits all these things that we're talking about 0:45:02.400 --> 0:45:04.560 and to be able to adapt to them on the fly, 0:45:04.600 --> 0:45:06.839 because that's what life is like. I know I'm gonna 0:45:06.840 --> 0:45:09.279 face tests, I know I'm gonna get you know, there's 0:45:09.280 --> 0:45:12.520 gonna be trials and tribulations. I don't know when they're coming, 0:45:12.840 --> 0:45:15.680 so I'm not gonna have my response ready at all times. 0:45:15.719 --> 0:45:17.319 But with the way that I train myself and I 0:45:17.360 --> 0:45:22.200 approach and visualize these things, watch the magic that my 0:45:22.239 --> 0:45:24.600 mind my body can do in the moment under pressure 0:45:24.600 --> 0:45:28.520 if I allow it to do it. Man, But what 0:45:28.920 --> 0:45:32.279 he just hit on is the secret sauce and what 0:45:32.400 --> 0:45:35.439 I in taking this next step into this next phase 0:45:35.480 --> 0:45:39.080 of figuring out because you said, hey, if I'm too focused, 0:45:39.120 --> 0:45:42.919 if I'm thinking too much, if I'm too analytical, then 0:45:43.000 --> 0:45:46.719 it's paralysis by analysis. That's the whole quotation of you 0:45:46.760 --> 0:45:49.720 start pressing, you start forcing, you're going one hundred percent, 0:45:50.160 --> 0:45:51.800 and you don't always want to go one hundred percent. 0:45:51.840 --> 0:45:54.880 The sweet spots of like the ninety percent. Now you 0:45:54.960 --> 0:45:59.439 are allowing your natural god giving abilities, your talent, your 0:45:59.640 --> 0:46:02.799 flow to be able to take over. But if you're 0:46:02.880 --> 0:46:05.640 too much and only just allowing your natural talented ability, 0:46:05.680 --> 0:46:08.000 then you're just going out there and playing, which can 0:46:08.040 --> 0:46:10.080 be good, but you're never going to get to that 0:46:10.160 --> 0:46:14.800 next level. So it's how do you seamlessly in step, 0:46:14.960 --> 0:46:18.680 add together the type of focus, the visualization, the studies 0:46:18.680 --> 0:46:21.440 that you've done, the few things you're mainly focusing on 0:46:21.520 --> 0:46:25.120 during that play, and add it in with the flow 0:46:25.200 --> 0:46:28.399 and make those things mesh together. That's where you get 0:46:28.400 --> 0:46:31.240 in the sweet spot. Just like you're talking about right there, 0:46:31.680 --> 0:46:35.319 and it doesn't always happen, you're giving yourself the best 0:46:35.360 --> 0:46:38.480 opportunity that it can happen. I want to figure out 0:46:38.480 --> 0:46:40.000 how you can actually call it up like that and 0:46:40.040 --> 0:46:44.759 have a formula for it. There's so much there, you know, 0:46:44.800 --> 0:46:49.000 and my understanding working with athletes and also using visualization 0:46:49.200 --> 0:46:51.799 or some might call it a mental rehearsal that some 0:46:51.960 --> 0:46:54.480 might even say that's a little different than a visualization. 0:46:54.600 --> 0:46:56.319 But the bottom line is your brain doesn't know the 0:46:56.360 --> 0:47:00.400 difference whether you're actually on the court on the field, 0:47:00.960 --> 0:47:03.279 or if you're visualizing it. So once you've been in 0:47:03.280 --> 0:47:06.560 the practice and you can smell the grass and smell 0:47:06.560 --> 0:47:09.719 the aroma and hear the sound of the crowd, when 0:47:09.760 --> 0:47:12.160 you step on the field, it's as if you've already 0:47:12.160 --> 0:47:14.600 been there. And I think the big shift and the 0:47:14.640 --> 0:47:19.440 importance of the mental strength training, mindfulness meditation is that 0:47:19.480 --> 0:47:24.200 we shift from thinking to feeling, and from like doing 0:47:24.440 --> 0:47:27.080 like hundred percent got to do to actually just being, 0:47:27.680 --> 0:47:30.480 like being in the flow. And when you're able to 0:47:30.600 --> 0:47:33.840 feel a coverage instead of overthink it, you're actually in 0:47:33.920 --> 0:47:35.680 your body, or your mind and body are in the 0:47:35.719 --> 0:47:38.719 same place where you're not in your head. And you know, 0:47:38.760 --> 0:47:40.879 I've heard I think it's Tony Robins say if you're 0:47:40.920 --> 0:47:43.440 in your head, you're dead. And I can't imagine at 0:47:43.440 --> 0:47:46.560 the fast pace of the NBA or the NFL like 0:47:46.680 --> 0:47:50.000 what happens and how we get just kind of hijacked 0:47:50.000 --> 0:47:53.319 by our thinking when we're overthinking things at such a 0:47:53.360 --> 0:47:57.279 fast pace and a very violent game of football with 0:47:57.480 --> 0:48:00.000 like how fast people are moving and how hard people 0:48:00.000 --> 0:48:07.880 we're getting hit smoked. Which is another reason why it's important, 0:48:07.960 --> 0:48:10.000 especially in the NFL, is to take care of your 0:48:10.040 --> 0:48:13.040 mind because of all the trauma and the concussions and 0:48:13.120 --> 0:48:16.719 everything that's happening, and even in meditation, just being more 0:48:16.800 --> 0:48:19.799 kind to ourself and learning to love ourselves and letting 0:48:19.840 --> 0:48:22.319 go of some of those negative thoughts. So at some 0:48:22.440 --> 0:48:25.200 point we have to buy into the fact that the 0:48:25.280 --> 0:48:28.200 stuff works, and when we do, our mind becomes our 0:48:28.239 --> 0:48:30.680 best friend instead of our worst enemy. Even though we 0:48:30.760 --> 0:48:35.400 have the outside world and algorithms and every marketing, every 0:48:35.400 --> 0:48:37.879 company sending marketing to tell us that we're not enough 0:48:37.960 --> 0:48:40.799 until we have this. So we got to protect our peace. 0:48:40.840 --> 0:48:43.120 So I love this conversation. I feel like we could 0:48:43.440 --> 0:48:45.680 we could go all day on this. But David, I 0:48:45.680 --> 0:48:48.200 wanted to ask you, like, for maybe that person that 0:48:49.040 --> 0:48:51.160 isn't on the court, isn't on the field, Maybe they're 0:48:51.160 --> 0:48:55.040 at home, they're struggling, they're stuck. They don't they know 0:48:55.120 --> 0:48:57.399 that they're stuck, but they just don't know what to 0:48:57.480 --> 0:48:59.560 do about it. What would you say to them or 0:48:59.600 --> 0:49:04.120 what would be a good first step if you're if 0:49:04.120 --> 0:49:05.880 you're stuck, what would be a good first step to 0:49:05.960 --> 0:49:09.600 just get unstuck or to get a towards your goal 0:49:09.680 --> 0:49:12.800 to get on the court where you'd say, like, unstuck. 0:49:12.880 --> 0:49:15.040 If you're maybe just struggling with some mental health, you're 0:49:15.080 --> 0:49:18.279 beating up, beating yourself up, you're in a dead end job, 0:49:18.360 --> 0:49:20.319 don't have a job, but just really down in the 0:49:20.400 --> 0:49:24.200 dumps right now, that's good. So I would first say, 0:49:24.400 --> 0:49:29.080 it's not that serious. Seriously, it's not that serious. Learn 0:49:29.160 --> 0:49:32.480 to be able to laugh at yourself in the situation 0:49:32.560 --> 0:49:36.080 that you're in. It's not that serious. You're probably not 0:49:36.160 --> 0:49:38.920 if you're listening to this, You're probably never going to 0:49:39.000 --> 0:49:42.000 end up homeless in your life. So you're gonna be fine. 0:49:42.520 --> 0:49:46.239 You're probably never going to end up just like you know, 0:49:46.800 --> 0:49:49.600 strung out or something. If you're like, you're going to 0:49:49.640 --> 0:49:53.320 be fine. It's not that serious. But then also understand 0:49:53.360 --> 0:49:58.680 that there is a reason that you are here. There 0:49:58.800 --> 0:50:02.440 is no accident that you were creating. You look up 0:50:02.480 --> 0:50:05.640 the stats of even being the sperm that won the 0:50:05.719 --> 0:50:09.680 race to even be born. It's astronomical odds to overcome. 0:50:10.160 --> 0:50:13.880 So there's a reason that you're here. God doesn't make mistakes. 0:50:14.400 --> 0:50:16.880 You are not a mistake. God did not mess up 0:50:16.920 --> 0:50:20.759 with you. And you know that, Hey, like, you don't 0:50:20.760 --> 0:50:22.560 have to go through this journey alone. Like I was 0:50:22.560 --> 0:50:26.080 alluding to earlier, the reason that I can step on 0:50:26.200 --> 0:50:28.360 stage in front of thousands of people and speak and 0:50:28.400 --> 0:50:32.080 have no fear because I don't really care about the results. 0:50:32.640 --> 0:50:34.640 I know that God's got the plan for me. Ultimately, 0:50:34.680 --> 0:50:36.520 I'm going to do the best that I can, and 0:50:36.600 --> 0:50:38.759 that best that I can, I know He's got a 0:50:38.840 --> 0:50:42.200 plan for me. So not feeling like you are alan, 0:50:42.520 --> 0:50:45.680 You're not alone, and you're not a mistake that you're here. 0:50:46.160 --> 0:50:49.440 And if you feel like, hey, the whole world and 0:50:49.440 --> 0:50:52.720 the pressure is on you, it's it's not that serious. 0:50:53.000 --> 0:50:55.920 So no, there's a few things, but hopefully one of 0:50:55.960 --> 0:51:00.480 those can get you unstuck. I mean, there's so much 0:51:00.560 --> 0:51:03.440 that you've said today, that you share with us today 0:51:03.480 --> 0:51:09.000 that can help pull somebody out of a situation, especially 0:51:09.040 --> 0:51:11.399 you know, being that pit. Like essentially, we just went 0:51:11.440 --> 0:51:13.600 back to the beginning where we popped it off and 0:51:13.640 --> 0:51:16.680 went and dove right in and basically said you have 0:51:16.760 --> 0:51:20.279 to embrace this situation and know that ultimately it's gonna 0:51:20.320 --> 0:51:22.040 before you're good, and there's gonna be lessons in it 0:51:22.120 --> 0:51:24.920 that you can pass on to somebody else. But I 0:51:25.080 --> 0:51:28.080 just want to say thank you for your energy, thank 0:51:28.160 --> 0:51:30.320 you for you know, your life story and all the 0:51:30.400 --> 0:51:34.480 details you gathered along the way that you know, that 0:51:34.600 --> 0:51:37.560 coach telling you you couldn't cut it wasn't enough to 0:51:37.600 --> 0:51:41.719 stop you. You know. Being fired from the NBA wasn't 0:51:41.840 --> 0:51:43.400 enough to stop you, you know, And here you are, 0:51:43.480 --> 0:51:47.080 still trying to better the experience of somebody else's life. However, 0:51:47.160 --> 0:51:48.960 money many lives you touch through all the things that 0:51:49.040 --> 0:51:51.880 you do, keep it going. Man, We appreciate you and 0:51:52.239 --> 0:51:55.640 thanks for your time. I appreciate that, Darren. Hey, my 0:51:55.840 --> 0:51:58.240 love language is words of affirmation. So you just filled 0:51:58.239 --> 0:52:01.359 me up, brother, I appreciate it. Sure man, no problem, Yeah, 0:52:01.440 --> 0:52:03.919 David Man. We've known each other for a while, only 0:52:03.960 --> 0:52:05.920 seeing each other a couple times in the flesh, but 0:52:06.360 --> 0:52:08.840 the beauty of technology and social media has kept us 0:52:08.880 --> 0:52:11.000 close and you've been a huge inspiration. And how you've 0:52:11.040 --> 0:52:14.000 stepped up on the stage, it's been an inspiration for 0:52:14.160 --> 0:52:17.759 me to do it and to take action. Speaking of that, 0:52:17.920 --> 0:52:20.400 can you just talk about your third book that's being released, 0:52:20.440 --> 0:52:22.440 I believe in April. Touch on that a little bit 0:52:22.480 --> 0:52:25.479 and then let our listeners know where they can track 0:52:25.520 --> 0:52:27.560 you down, where they can eventually buy the book, or 0:52:27.600 --> 0:52:30.919 where they can track down your other two books. Yeah, 0:52:31.120 --> 0:52:32.840 and you know what, I've got a couple of challenges 0:52:32.920 --> 0:52:36.000 for both of you, because Darren, you said before the 0:52:36.080 --> 0:52:40.000 show you're thinking about writing a book. Do it? Man, 0:52:40.120 --> 0:52:42.440 what's stopping you? Write your stories? You have an incredibly 0:52:42.520 --> 0:52:45.600 powerful story. Write out as many stories as you can, 0:52:46.120 --> 0:52:48.320 with an applicable point at the end of those stories, 0:52:48.400 --> 0:52:50.600 and just write. Don't worry what it looks like, don't 0:52:50.640 --> 0:52:52.759 worry the flow, don't worry the editing. Just do it. 0:52:53.239 --> 0:52:55.200 So it's gonna help and it's going to benefit somebody. 0:52:56.160 --> 0:52:59.880 And see, you told me that you wanted to speak 0:53:00.640 --> 0:53:05.560 two like, what's the getting on stage hitting me on 0:53:05.680 --> 0:53:08.640 the social media after a talk saying that it's inspired 0:53:08.680 --> 0:53:10.640 you to go speak, So now's your time to go 0:53:10.760 --> 0:53:13.920 speak too. So we got speaking, we got bookwriting my 0:53:14.120 --> 0:53:17.240 next book, do it. The life changing power of taking 0:53:17.280 --> 0:53:21.000 action is an overview of it would be Atomic Habits 0:53:21.080 --> 0:53:24.640 meets the Eneograham with crazy cool Malcolm Gladwell stories about 0:53:24.680 --> 0:53:27.399 historical figures in the pastors changed the world. So that's 0:53:27.440 --> 0:53:29.759 all I'm gonna leave you with. That's just a little 0:53:29.840 --> 0:53:32.880 teaser of it, and you can go get it anywhere 0:53:32.920 --> 0:53:35.840 books are sold Amazon, Barnes and Nobles comes out worldwide 0:53:35.880 --> 0:53:40.240 April fourth. Finding anything that I'm doing, personal coaching, group coaching, 0:53:40.480 --> 0:53:43.719 David Nurse dot com, social media, David Nurse, NBA, the 0:53:43.800 --> 0:53:47.480 David Nurse Show. Yeah, I think there's just a lot 0:53:47.520 --> 0:53:49.080 of David Nurse stuff out there. I don't know if 0:53:49.120 --> 0:53:52.759 that sounds like who conceded to make everything my name, 0:53:52.800 --> 0:53:54.520 but it keeps it, it keeps it easy to find. 0:53:54.600 --> 0:53:57.640 There you go. I appreciate you guys. Thanks for the time, 0:53:57.960 --> 0:54:01.600 Thanks for what you do, the platform that you've created, 0:54:01.680 --> 0:54:04.880 and just uh man, like these these stories. Somebody's going 0:54:04.960 --> 0:54:06.840 to take something from this and it's going to inspire 0:54:06.880 --> 0:54:09.400 them and that's because you guys have set that platform. 0:54:10.160 --> 0:54:14.399 We appreciate you, man, Thanks so much. We're out there, y'all. Piece. 0:54:14.520 --> 0:54:14.759 Thank you