1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: I got engaged without my dad's blessing, so he cut 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:05,360 Speaker 1: me off and boycotted my wedding. 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 2: Dang daddy, ooh boy. 4 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:09,719 Speaker 1: Using a throwaway because I'm not sure who in my 5 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 1: family has Reddit apologies in advance. This is a long one, 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 1: but grab a snack because it's a wild one. 7 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 2: Oh yeah. 8 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from no designer of fifty 9 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: eight to thirty one on the Roka Storytime subpridd it. So, I, 10 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: twenty three female, got engaged a few months ago to 11 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: my fiance, twenty one male. We're over the moon, but 12 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: my dad refused to give his blessing, and now he's 13 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 1: not only boycotting my wedding, but also cutting off all 14 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: contact with me. The worst part, He's taking his whole 15 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 1: side of the family with him. I'm starting to wonder 16 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,840 Speaker 1: if I'm the bad guy here. Let me explain. Please 17 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: do right now. I don't think you are right. 18 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,559 Speaker 3: I'm just imagining the data said of the wedding, like 19 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,560 Speaker 3: this wedding is unfair. 20 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 2: My daughter's getting married in there, not good. 21 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:58,280 Speaker 1: He's in the picket line. Can't cross the picline, can't 22 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: do it. I've never been super closeed with my dad 23 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,960 Speaker 1: My parents divorced when I was a baby, and I 24 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 1: barely remember them being together. My mom remarried when I 25 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: was four, and my stepdad has been a solid father 26 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,400 Speaker 1: figure ever since. My mom is eighty percent custody, so 27 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 1: I grew up mostly with her, my stepdad, and my brother. 28 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,039 Speaker 1: We all got along great. As for my dad, we 29 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: had a decent relationship, but it wasn't deep. He lived 30 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: two minutes away from my mom's house, and I saw 31 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: him once a week and every other weekend. When I 32 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: turned eighteen, I stopped visiting as much, but we'd still 33 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: have dinner together occasionally, maybe once or twice a month. 34 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 4: The issue. 35 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 1: Oh my fiance, let's call him Arch, and I started 36 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 1: dating when I was twenty two and he was twenty. 37 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: We met at a youth group and quickly became best friends. 38 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: I know it seems fast to some, but when you know, 39 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: you know, I can't imagine my life without him. Before proposing, 40 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: Arch wanted to ask for four blessings from both my 41 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: mom and stepdad, as well as my dad. My mom 42 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: and stepdad were thrilled and gave their blessings immediately. My dad, however, 43 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: was as cooperative be he dodged Arch for weeks, despite 44 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: being retired and having plenty of free time. When they 45 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: finally met, my dad came prepared with two printed letters, 46 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: one for Arch and one for me, stating that he 47 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:17,399 Speaker 1: would not give his blessing printed. He that was so official. 48 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 1: It's like, according under the eyes of the law, I 49 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,960 Speaker 1: cannot give you my blessing on the date of whatever 50 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: date he did. 51 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 3: Maybe maybe he's prepping for his picket sign I think so. 52 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 3: He's working out the coffee. 53 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he needs he needs a paper trail. He 54 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,799 Speaker 1: didn't even let Arch ask the questions before handing over 55 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,280 Speaker 1: the letters. He also scoffed at the fact that Arch 56 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: asked for my stepdad's blessing, calling it ridiculous. Arch defended 57 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 1: my stepdad, but the damage was done. He came home 58 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: upset and after some prying, he told me what happened. Oh, 59 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:47,799 Speaker 1: because Opie wasn't there. 60 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 2: Ooh, yeah, that kind of makes it even worse. 61 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. I was hurt and felt disrespected, especially with how 62 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 1: he dismissed my stepdad's role in my life. After cooling 63 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: off for a few days, I met my dad at 64 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 1: a park to talk things out. It didn't go out 65 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: my dad told me he wasn't coming to the wedding, 66 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 1: and neither was his side of the family. I asked 67 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 1: him directly, if I get engaged, you won't come to 68 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 1: the wedding. He flat out said no. I then asked, 69 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 1: if I go through with this, are you saying you 70 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 1: want nothing to do with me? His response, no, sweat 71 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 1: off my back? What That's when I lost my composure. 72 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: I was holding it together until that point, but his 73 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: indifference hurt me deeply. He insisted we needed to wait 74 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: two more years to get engaged and maybe then he'd reconsider. 75 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: He ended the conversation by saying he wouldn't pay for 76 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: the wedding or be involved in any way. And there 77 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: is more to this story, but that was pretty crazy, 78 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: So we need to unpack. 79 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 2: We definitely need unpack. 80 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 1: Ah to say, to advise your children to wait a 81 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: little bit longer, saying like, maybe, you know, maybe once 82 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: you're a little bit older, you're gonna be more ready 83 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: for marriage. For this lifetime commitment is one thing. Yeah, yeah, 84 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: But to say it's no sweat off my back to 85 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: never see you again over you getting married, insane? Insane. 86 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 3: No father who like actually loves their child, their kid 87 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 3: wants to be involved in their lives. Would ever say that. 88 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 3: I feel like it's like this is just a thing 89 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 3: for him to control. 90 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: And exactly, it's very controlling. 91 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 3: And he's just like all he's looking for is to 92 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,480 Speaker 3: be able to control what they do. 93 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 2: And that's literally it. 94 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,359 Speaker 1: And unfortunately it sucks. But you do have a great 95 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: step dad and your mom. 96 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:31,360 Speaker 2: It's true. And really ask yourself this question, do you 97 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 2: want him there? Would you want this guy? 98 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? If this guy is gonna be, you know, act 99 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 1: this way now, and also you know probably has influenced 100 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 1: his family, you don't even want them there. 101 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 2: How does that one song go rude? 102 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 1: Why you gotta be so rude? I'm gonna marry her anyway? 103 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's about it. Whoa song or story? 104 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: But there is more to this story. A few days later, 105 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 1: Arch proposed, He said, suck it, Dad. It was perfect. 106 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 1: Our families minus my dad and his fiance were there 107 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 1: and it was a magical night. We posted about it 108 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 1: on social media, and while we were showered with congratulations 109 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: from friends and family, there was complete radio silence from 110 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: my dad's side. I started second guessing myself. Maybe I 111 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 1: had been too hasty maybe I was in the wrong, 112 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: so I reached out to him. I texted a heartfelt message, 113 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: telling him I wanted him at my wedding, that he's 114 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 1: my dad and I wanted him to walk me down 115 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 1: the aisle. His response, he asked for my email. Oh, 116 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: was he going to send another letter? What is this 117 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: guy's deal with letters? I liked letters too much? Come 118 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: much confused? I gave it to him. A few hours later, 119 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: I received a long, emotionally charged email. He accused me 120 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: of disrespecting him and ruining what should have been a 121 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 1: special time between a father and a daughter. He said 122 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 1: arch and I were responsible for the destruction of our 123 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: relationship and that it would take enormous effort to repair things. 124 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: His final words were, but you got exactly what you wanted. 125 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: My mom, stepdad, and Archi's family are all supporting us. 126 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,480 Speaker 1: My mom and stepdad have offered to pay for the 127 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,839 Speaker 1: wedding since my dad backed out, wedding planning has been fun, 128 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,559 Speaker 1: But this whole situation is me questioning whether I really 129 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: am in the wrong. So reddit, am I the a 130 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 1: hole for moving forward with my engagement and wedding plans 131 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 1: despite my dad not giving his blessing and there are 132 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,840 Speaker 1: some edits and an update to this story before we finish. 133 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 3: But no, he's just all he's done is shown you why. 134 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 3: It's a great thing that actually he's saving you the 135 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 3: trouble of having to like worry about and inviting him, 136 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,480 Speaker 3: you know, the like, Ah, I want him there, get 137 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,039 Speaker 3: him out of here, get him out of there, let 138 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 3: himself get himself out of that. 139 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: Literally, he took himself out. We don't need him back. 140 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: We don't need a fight for his approval when you 141 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: have other people in your life who love you and 142 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,039 Speaker 1: support you. And if he truly was worried about, you know, 143 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: like your relationship being able to last, then he would 144 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,320 Speaker 1: have approached this way differently and it wouldn't have been like, 145 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 1: I'm not going to talk to you ever again. Yeah, 146 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: that's not showing your love. 147 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 2: Yes, no, no, swor it off my back. 148 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 1: That's that's showing that you don't care about your children. 149 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 3: Come on, dad, I have one quick question for you, 150 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 3: A quick question. So the dad kind of poisoned his 151 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:17,280 Speaker 3: side of the family. 152 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 2: Op. If you're in op shoes, what do you do do? Yeah, 153 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 2: what do you do? What do you think? 154 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: I think you could reach out. If there are certain 155 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 1: people that you want to come. I think you could 156 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: reach out and say, hey, I'm getting married. My dad 157 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 1: is not supportive because of my age. Maybe I don't know, 158 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 1: but I would love to have you there because they 159 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: can make their own decisions. 160 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 3: Reach out to the people that you would want there 161 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 3: and explain the situation and be like, hey, open invitation, 162 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,000 Speaker 3: would love to see you there. 163 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: And if there's still like we're not coming, we're supporting 164 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: your dad, then you don't want them in your life. 165 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 2: Agreed, Agreed, agreed. 166 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: But you know what I agree with? 167 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 2: What that? 168 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: We have another edit to read. 169 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 2: Let's check it out out date. 170 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: Ooh editing because there's been a few comments regarding this. 171 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 1: Money is not an issue for him or his side 172 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: of the family, so the waiting two years has nothing 173 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: to do with saving and he is not trying to 174 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: get out of paying for the wedding. He is retired 175 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,960 Speaker 1: and has been for quite some time. Edit too, I 176 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 1: can't reply to all the comments mentioning this, so I'll 177 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 1: write it here. I wanted my fiance to ask my 178 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: parents out of respect. I guess I always thought it 179 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: was a sweet gesture, but we viewed it as a 180 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: way to include them in this next stage of life, 181 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: rather than viewing it as asking permission for him to 182 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: marry me. I'm not sure how to properly articulate it, though, Sorry. 183 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: And as for my mom and his relationship, they were 184 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 1: always very civil and I'd go as far as to 185 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: say they were friends my whole life. There was never 186 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,439 Speaker 1: any fights in front of me and my brother at least, 187 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: and my mom and stepdad would invite him and his 188 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 1: fiance to parties we would have. I'm not one hundred 189 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 1: percent sure of the reason for the divorce, though I 190 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 1: can speculate your dad just sounds kind of coorse. Yeah, 191 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 1: it just wasn't something we talked about. And I will 192 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 1: add that they chose the custody themselves and did not 193 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,440 Speaker 1: have court battles as I've seen. If you come calm 194 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: and say there was never a fight for custody, he 195 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 1: chose to move out and live two minutes away. My 196 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 1: mom did not want his money. That was also never fight. 197 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: She just wanted to spend Christmas with us and stay 198 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 1: in the house. And there is an update to end 199 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:06,319 Speaker 1: this tale. 200 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 3: In so so weird that he was like seemingly a 201 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 3: good co parent seemingly seemingly and then although it could 202 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,560 Speaker 3: have been a factor of like like the like the 203 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 3: agreement was like, hey, I can be more hands off 204 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,560 Speaker 3: and then you can like actually be a good mother. 205 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 2: Yes, and then I just don't get in your way. 206 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,280 Speaker 3: It's it's more of a it's more of his apathy 207 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 3: than his like generosity exactly. 208 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that might be the case, especially given 209 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 1: his reaction right now. Yeah, because those they not line 210 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 1: it up, not lining up No Blindbisa's conspiracy theory the 211 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: dad is secretly bankrupt and has no money to pay 212 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 1: for the wedding, so he's doing this. But no, he's 213 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: asked for money for this wedding. 214 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,760 Speaker 2: She OPI has not. I don't believe. 215 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, from I've especially from that last part of the story, 216 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like she said I needed money from him. Yeah, 217 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,959 Speaker 1: Kierberly finds this. I feel like, Op, he might have 218 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: only wanted the gesture because her dad groomed her to 219 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: accept demands for importance, like she wants it because it's familiar. Yes, 220 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 1: but also I think she was just saying, like, I 221 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: think it's a cute gesture. I want to involve them, 222 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 1: my parents in my life. Yeah, which is I think 223 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: is fair. 224 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:11,199 Speaker 2: I totally get it. 225 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like you said, it was something like it's 226 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 3: not that we were asking their permission. 227 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,839 Speaker 2: But it's like this starting kind of sharing at the moment. Yeah, 228 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,760 Speaker 2: it's like a cute thing. Oh yeah, I like that, 229 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 2: me too. 230 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: But there is an update. Let's see, this whole thing 231 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 1: went down about four months ago and I hadn't spoken 232 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 1: to my dad since until a few days ago. You 233 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: texted me, which I didn't notice right away since I've 234 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 1: had his notification silenced. When I finally saw it, I 235 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: was walking out of work and literally dropped everything rip 236 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 1: to my celsius and the lip liner that rolled out 237 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 1: of my bag. 238 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,719 Speaker 5: Ooh, two important things. 239 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 1: You will be missed his message. 240 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 4: Oh. 241 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 1: His message read, I am texting you because we need 242 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:52,080 Speaker 1: to have a conversation. Just send another letter, dude. I 243 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: debated whether to even respond, but my peace of mind, 244 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,200 Speaker 1: and let's be honest, my anxiety got the better of me. 245 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 1: I texted back, I'm open to having a conversation with 246 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 1: the intention of moving forward, not rehashing the past. We 247 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 1: scheduled a call for the next day. Fast forward to 248 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: the call. He starts by saying he loves me and 249 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: that hasn't changed. Then almost immediately he switches to how 250 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 1: upset and disappointed he is that he had to reach 251 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:22,840 Speaker 1: out first. What what? He then asked, if we've set 252 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: a wedding date. I told him it's late next year, 253 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: hoping maybe he changed his mind, but nope. He followed 254 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: that up with do you have a venue? I said yes? 255 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: His response, so this is happening, Well, I'm not telling 256 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: anyone the family not to go. That's their choice. There 257 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: aren't sides. 258 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 2: Where's where's the issue here? 259 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 1: I don't understand. 260 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,600 Speaker 3: He's just like, so you're telling me you have a venue, 261 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:47,200 Speaker 3: You've got a venue, you got. 262 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: A wedding date. 263 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not going, Okay, I mean like. 264 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,320 Speaker 1: Why would you? Why does he feel the need to 265 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 1: contact her if he has not had any change in mind. 266 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 3: Is this more of just his like, let me have 267 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,199 Speaker 3: some thing to control. If I'm not controlling it, I'm 268 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 3: gonna be going on and on about it and just 269 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 3: driving you crazy. 270 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,440 Speaker 4: He's just a curmudgeon, just a freaking curmudgeon that loves 271 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,959 Speaker 4: writing spid letters. 272 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 2: YEP. 273 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: I tried to explain that there are sides, because no 274 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,160 Speaker 1: one in the family knows my side of the things. 275 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 1: I'm not super close with the side of the family, 276 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 1: except for my grandma, who made it clear she's on 277 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 1: his side. He cut me off, saying he didn't want 278 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 1: to be on the phone long and that's all he 279 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 1: had to say. I asked if I could ask a 280 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 1: question before he hung up, and he agreed, So I asked, 281 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 1: do you stand by your decision not to come? His answer, 282 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: it depends on how I'm treated, yo. So now he's 283 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:38,240 Speaker 1: kind of switching up. He's like, Oh, I could come, 284 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 1: but you're gonna You're gonna be mean to me more. 285 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 2: First, it depends on how I'm treated, if you just 286 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 2: do everything else. 287 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,120 Speaker 1: If you stop getting married. At this point, I'm floored. 288 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 1: I asked him to elaborate because I've never been disrespectful 289 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 1: to him, and then it all came out. He feels 290 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 1: like he deserves the title of father of the bride 291 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 1: and thinks it's completely disrespectful to him if I let 292 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 1: both him and my stepdad walk me down the aisle. 293 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,560 Speaker 1: He went on to double down and said that my 294 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,080 Speaker 1: stepdad should never have been asked because it wasn't his 295 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 1: blessing to give, and he's my biological father. He would 296 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,320 Speaker 1: only consider coming to the wedding if he's treated with 297 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 1: the respect he deserves by having the sole title of 298 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,280 Speaker 1: father of the bride. And then the kicker. He told 299 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 1: me that my mom needed to call him to talk 300 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 1: about all this. I'm okay, Well, my mom is having 301 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,760 Speaker 1: none of that. She's refusing to call him, rightfully so, 302 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,080 Speaker 1: and is protecting her piece as she should. If he 303 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,160 Speaker 1: wants to talk to her, he can pick up the 304 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 1: phone and let her know that himself backs. And you 305 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,320 Speaker 1: guys can let us know whether or not you're joining 306 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: his live every week to at three pmpst. Just tap 307 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 1: her profile. 308 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 2: Just do it, Just do it. Come on. 309 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 1: I'm still reeling. Originally I was fully planning on sending 310 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,040 Speaker 1: him an invite, but now I don't even know what 311 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 1: to say. The whole thing feels so messed up. My 312 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,319 Speaker 1: fiance's parents are upset, and so are my mom and stepdad. 313 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: I'm honestly at a loss. I didn't expect to be 314 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 1: given an up date this soon, or at all, but 315 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: here we are. I haven't spoken to him since that call, 316 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,440 Speaker 1: and I'm thinking about writing a letter to him. I 317 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 1: want to take a few days to calm down first though, 318 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 1: before I decide to do anything. If I do send something, 319 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: I'll update again. For now, this is where things stand 320 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 1: and that is the end of the story. But John, 321 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 1: do you think that where things stand is right? Do 322 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 1: you think there's anything else that OPI could have done 323 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: or should do? 324 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 2: Terrible situation, terrible dad. 325 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 3: I feel like maybe the next move that OPI could 326 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 3: do is u ironically basically writing a letter, writing another 327 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 3: letter and in this letter kind of just like list 328 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 3: out like basically say like, hey, after all the a grievances, 329 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 3: after this kind of whole stunt you pulled, I I'm 330 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 3: not going to be like seeing you as much as 331 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 3: I as I have been. 332 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 2: And here's why, you know, you try to have. 333 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 3: This weird control power play thing of like trying to 334 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 3: push back my wedding or like I don't ask about 335 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 3: the dates and the venue like kind of again just like. 336 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:04,880 Speaker 2: Listing out everything there. 337 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 3: It's like I am, yeah, I'm not gonna be I 338 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 3: don't want you at the wedding. I honestly this has 339 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 3: discouraged me from like being in regular contact with. 340 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 1: You, and now it's kind of proving that my stepdad 341 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: is much more of a father figure than you, Zach, 342 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 1: if you want to be the sole father figure, act like. 343 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 2: It couldn't have said about myself. You could have said 344 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 2: about myself, thank you. 345 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 4: I think that will be good just to I think, 346 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 4: for op to clearly, you know, just just to very 347 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 4: clearly draw the line in the. 348 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 1: Same this is why you're not coming to my wedding. 349 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 2: Yes, I think does Opie have to do that? 350 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,600 Speaker 3: No, it is a bit of an extra mile kind 351 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 3: of thing, but I think it could be good to 352 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 3: make sure it is very clearly established to the dad 353 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 3: like I'm. 354 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 2: Drawing, this line is exactly That's what I'm thinking. 355 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 1: Exactly so true. But that is the end of that story. 356 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 2: But is it the end of the episode? 357 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:52,800 Speaker 1: Yes? 358 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 3: Am i ahole for telling my ex I won't pay 359 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 3: for a DNA test. 360 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 2: Well, let's find out backstory. This is important for later. 361 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,200 Speaker 3: My ex now forty mail and I thirty nine female, 362 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 3: were dating. 363 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 2: He was a truck driver. 364 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 3: We decided I should join him for a few months 365 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 3: to see the country A bit stuck in a semi 366 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 3: truck with just him, he accompanied me to truck stops 367 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 3: for safety. The tour ends and I came home with 368 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 3: a little bun in the oven. 369 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:22,360 Speaker 2: Mm, I like the collective. Hmm, what does that even mean? 370 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 3: He is a carbon copy of his father? Identical. We 371 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 3: separated two years later. A year or two after that, 372 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 3: we went to court and I got visitation and child 373 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 3: support set up. 374 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,640 Speaker 4: Fast forward this year. For last two years, my ex 375 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 4: has visited his son twice. For one night in June, 376 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 4: he randomly texted me, five months after his last visit 377 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,040 Speaker 4: with his son, so out of the blue, he says, 378 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 4: I don't think son's name now sixteen mail is mine 379 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 4: and I want a DNA test. 380 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 2: He just wants to stop paying. 381 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 3: He just doesn't want to pay. He just doesn't want 382 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 3: to pay. What does he think is gonna this is 383 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:58,880 Speaker 3: gonna do for him? 384 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:03,200 Speaker 4: Make him not pay, make him not pay? But bro, brother, 385 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 4: come on brother. My response was to laugh. Then I responded, 386 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 4: he looks identical to you. However, if you feel you 387 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,959 Speaker 4: need to do opportunity test, feel free to do so. 388 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:18,439 Speaker 2: However, I will not pay a dime for it. 389 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 3: Later on in that day, I texted his siblings and 390 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,399 Speaker 3: asked if his whole family felt this way. 391 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 2: And I wanted an honest opinion. If my son looked 392 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,000 Speaker 2: like his father. 393 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 4: They all reassured me that they do not share his 394 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,880 Speaker 4: same views and they've been having their own issues with him. 395 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:39,159 Speaker 4: I didn't ask, it wasn't my business, So am I 396 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:40,960 Speaker 4: the A hole? Riley? 397 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 2: What do you think about it? 398 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 5: She did kind of like go behind the guy's back 399 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:48,479 Speaker 5: and ask everything. But it's it's good to be like 400 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 5: to get that kind of check, like, Okay, you're a 401 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,440 Speaker 5: part of this family, what do you think? And rather 402 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,679 Speaker 5: than I think she's not the a hole, even though 403 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,240 Speaker 5: it was kind of sneaky, not the a hole. 404 00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:00,119 Speaker 3: I think it would have been totally fine if it 405 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 3: was like maybe like just a sister in law, just 406 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 3: the dabt, like pick the person who you trust the 407 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,440 Speaker 3: most and like go to them and be like, am 408 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,960 Speaker 3: I crazy here? Like it seems like with the whole 409 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:17,160 Speaker 3: family it was a little it had. It's a decent 410 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 3: tinge of just kind of like getting some payback, you know, 411 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:26,159 Speaker 3: for the frustration that he's probably causing her, accusing her 412 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 3: of cheating and you know, fothering a different baby and 413 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:30,400 Speaker 3: all this stuff. 414 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,160 Speaker 2: So I get wanting to like have some sort of. 415 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 3: Support, but personally probably would have done one person the 416 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 3: Tomas says, wait, he wants to stop paying what he's 417 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,240 Speaker 3: been paying for for sixteen years. 418 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,040 Speaker 2: That's so stupid. 419 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 3: Four more years and he doesn't have to pay any 420 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 3: more anyways. Probably broke, Probably broke, Probably broke. But guys, 421 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,720 Speaker 3: you know what else has broke me? Because I can't. 422 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,159 Speaker 3: I can't can't, I can't do it anymore. 423 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,440 Speaker 1: I don't have any more stories for you. 424 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 2: I don't have any more. I've given it all I 425 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 2: could give. I'm laid it on the field. 426 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,640 Speaker 1: And the story bank is empty. 427 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 2: Slory bank empty. So if you love us, make sure 428 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:03,640 Speaker 2: to subscribe. 429 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,679 Speaker 1: We Love You and Cinema. 430 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,720 Speaker 4: This is an episode from Deep within the Archives. 431 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,200 Speaker 2: Time for okop ree lam. 432 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,920 Speaker 4: My husband snapped and is threatening divorce and I never 433 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:19,920 Speaker 4: would have guessed this is the reason why. 434 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 2: Well now I want to know. 435 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 4: Well, I'm about to tell you. Okay, freaking sit down, 436 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:28,360 Speaker 4: I'm the story brought my buns on a seat. Let 437 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 4: me just just fucking just fucking drop out, your parents, 438 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 4: your parents, your money, b Yeah, and. 439 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,199 Speaker 2: Leave your wife for a weird reason. 440 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 4: Bro he locked his wife for a weird reason, right, 441 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 4: didn't he Like? Oh, he's dating like a like a 442 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:51,160 Speaker 4: twenty year old Yeah, yeah, he did. He did fuck 443 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 4: your parents, your marriage. We've been married for two years, 444 00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 4: dating for five. We are both thirty four. I'm a woman, 445 00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:02,119 Speaker 4: he's a man. If it matters, I am not a 446 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 4: picky eater. In fact, I'm quite adventurous. Adventurous eater too. 447 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 4: Oh God, I've had an escargo, and every time I've traveled, 448 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 4: I've always made a point to tried dishes with unusual, 449 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:17,200 Speaker 4: uncommon ingredients to say I've tried them. There are very 450 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:21,719 Speaker 4: few foods I won't eat. One of them, though, is mustard. Oh, 451 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,439 Speaker 4: I hate the condiments. Oh, I don't like it. I 452 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 4: just don't. The taste is very strong and over powering. 453 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 4: It's an unpleasant taste. I've tried yellow, I've tried stone grat, 454 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,359 Speaker 4: I've tried honey, artists in, brown, spicy, you name it. 455 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 4: I've tried them all and I just don't like them. 456 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 3: That's that's a lot of mustards, A lot of mustards, 457 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 3: a lot of mustard. 458 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,359 Speaker 4: I know what kind of weird foods have you tried? 459 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:48,800 Speaker 2: I'm trying to think, like, I've eaten some foot. 460 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,359 Speaker 4: Chicken foot, chicken foot. I've had chicken foot. 461 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 2: I killed the chicken. 462 00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:55,680 Speaker 4: Have you had escargo anything else. 463 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 2: No, No, let's go. I've tried it, though. 464 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,360 Speaker 4: Have you ever hunted lobster? 465 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,639 Speaker 3: I've eaten a lobster fresh out of the sea like 466 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:04,200 Speaker 3: a bass. 467 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 4: Have you hunted it? 468 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,719 Speaker 2: And I haven't hunted it? 469 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:08,879 Speaker 4: Am you doing that? 470 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 2: This weekend? 471 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 4: Last weekend, I at like like ten at night, I 472 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 4: went like snorkeling with a like a wetsuit and went 473 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:24,440 Speaker 4: lobster diving and hunted lobsters and then and then cook them. 474 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 3: You're joking, not joking in our ocean. I'm gonna have 475 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 3: to do that. Where are you holding him? 476 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:34,440 Speaker 2: Bro? 477 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm doing this. That is absolutely nuts. Lobsters too 478 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 3: expensive in these streets. Oh dude, it would have been 479 00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 3: like a crazy amount. Wow, I've been crazy. Okay, I'm 480 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,159 Speaker 3: gonna have to get that location. It was in Orange 481 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:55,159 Speaker 3: County area. My husband, for some reason, never understood this. 482 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 3: He loves mustard, especially honey mustard. He puts it on 483 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,640 Speaker 3: all his sandwiches, dips his fries in it, and every 484 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 3: time he tries to force me to try it, he'll 485 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,399 Speaker 3: insist I'll like it this time. 486 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:11,280 Speaker 4: But we're grown ass woman, I'll say though, and it'll 487 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 4: devolve into a mini argument and he'll call me picky. Well, 488 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:16,960 Speaker 4: last night we were on the road home from a 489 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,119 Speaker 4: weekend trip we took together, and he stopped at a 490 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 4: gas station to get us a quick bite. He got 491 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:26,000 Speaker 4: a hot dog, slap bird and mustard. I got one 492 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 4: but decided to eat a plane. I don't really love 493 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,199 Speaker 4: hot dogs to begin with, but I will eat it 494 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,200 Speaker 4: in a pickle, but not with pickles. I will eat 495 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 4: a plane. 496 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:35,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. 497 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,600 Speaker 4: While he waited in the line, he has what I 498 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 4: got in mind, and I'd pulled the nothings the Plaine dog. 499 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 4: He actually got furious and grabbed it for me. He 500 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 4: marched over to the convent station and began putting mustard 501 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,639 Speaker 4: all over my dog. 502 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 2: Why telling me to grow up and stop being so picky? 503 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 4: Ain't this mustard dog? God? 504 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,119 Speaker 2: Brother, you grow up? Who cares? 505 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 4: What would you do? Like if someone what would you 506 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 4: do if we were getting hot dogs together? You got 507 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 4: no mustard on it? And I'm like, John, you insultly idiot. 508 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 4: Can't believe you to get buster on your hot dog 509 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:14,439 Speaker 4: and just freaking slathered it all in bustard thread in 510 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:18,400 Speaker 4: your face. I would be like, tell me, you idiot. 511 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,800 Speaker 3: I'd be like you're buying me a new hot dog, Like, 512 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,200 Speaker 3: I'm not going to eat this, Like it's I could 513 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,240 Speaker 3: have just eaten the dog and we would just be chilling. 514 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 4: But what if I brought to you another hot dog said. 515 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 3: You just kept you keep buying it and like like 516 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,159 Speaker 3: I'm just forced feeding, Like this time, I promise, I 517 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 3: promised this. I'm like, Oh, I got you, Dad, I 518 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 3: got your get eating. You end up just like thirty 519 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 3: four dogs around. 520 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 4: And you're just like covered in mustard. Oh my god, 521 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 4: trying to toss these things in your mouth. I mean, John, 522 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 4: what do you think OH should do in this situation? 523 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:54,879 Speaker 3: Definitely be like I'm not eating that first step, second step, 524 00:23:55,560 --> 00:24:00,120 Speaker 3: I'm getting something I want and you're gonna pay for it, 525 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,840 Speaker 3: because he just I do you. 526 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,680 Speaker 2: Know I don't like, Like why. 527 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,120 Speaker 4: So Opie just walked out and sat in the car. 528 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:10,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. 529 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,040 Speaker 4: I didn't even want the hot dog anymore. My appetite 530 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 4: was gone. He came back and began screaming at me 531 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:22,440 Speaker 4: for embarrassing him even further. The word divorce was said 532 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 4: for the first time ever in a relationship. 533 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 534 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 4: I secretly recorded his screaming because I was genuinely afraid 535 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 4: I would die. He was driving erradically, swerving and speeding, Like, 536 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 4: why is he like acting like this over a freaking 537 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:38,359 Speaker 4: hot dogs? 538 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:42,600 Speaker 3: Just beyond insanity, beyond beyond, beyond beyond. 539 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,359 Speaker 4: I'm in a hotel tonight. He ignored me all day 540 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,359 Speaker 4: at work, and then the call started ring, ring, ring ring. 541 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,160 Speaker 4: I ignored them. Then he realized I wasn't coming home. 542 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,680 Speaker 4: NonStop voicemails and texts, ping ping ping like the. 543 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 2: Sound effects, Yeah, I like your sound designing yourself. 544 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,560 Speaker 4: He then sent me a screenshot of a Google search 545 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 4: for local divorce lawyers. Wow, you can google sick dude? WHOA, 546 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,960 Speaker 4: my god. I haven't eaten all day. I've been sobbing 547 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 4: in my room. I don't want to get divorced, and 548 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,960 Speaker 4: I wish I had just eaten the fucking mustard. Can 549 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,200 Speaker 4: someone give me an explanation of what's happening? Why would 550 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,560 Speaker 4: he react this way to a preference of mine? I 551 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,159 Speaker 4: still don't want to divorce. It's so permanent. I just 552 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 4: never pictured myself to be a divorce a and I 553 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:37,280 Speaker 4: never pictured it being over mustard. So John, that's the 554 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,440 Speaker 4: story it is. I want to know what you guys 555 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 4: would do in this situation. Also, this has ever happened 556 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:49,600 Speaker 4: to you? But John, what should OP do? Uh? 557 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:54,679 Speaker 3: Dump his ass right now? It's so sad because she 558 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 3: is completely not in the wrong, but she's you know, like, oh, 559 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:01,119 Speaker 3: like I never saw myself as uh a divorce a 560 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,199 Speaker 3: and like all these things which like oh my like 561 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,400 Speaker 3: heart just hurts for her, you know what I mean. 562 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 4: Like she's done nothing, nothing, nothing wrong. 563 00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 3: And I think she's maybe just used to this or 564 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 3: used to the behavior you know, your prior but now 565 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 3: maybe it's like it's just like clicking for her more 566 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:22,639 Speaker 3: at least more than it was. 567 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:23,880 Speaker 4: It sounds like an asshole. 568 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, he is, without a doubt the a hole. And 569 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,760 Speaker 3: you deserve way better, like way better. 570 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 4: That's our that's our that's our decision. 571 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:31,720 Speaker 2: That's our take. 572 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,120 Speaker 4: Am I the a hole for turning in a school 573 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,280 Speaker 4: project that shows that I live in a crap hold 574 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:43,959 Speaker 4: neighborhood where everyone sucks? Okayop, this is Okayop. I'm samuel 575 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 4: daughter and I'm not from and we tell the funniest 576 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,159 Speaker 4: stories on the internet. And John, if you were to 577 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,919 Speaker 4: like take a walk around your neighborhood and having to 578 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,280 Speaker 4: give like a tour and like this is your direct neighborhood. 579 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 4: What would you seen? What would you find? Oh? 580 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 3: Man, we have some interesting houses. We have one that 581 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:04,879 Speaker 3: has a mosaic museum inside of it really not even joking. Yeah, 582 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,280 Speaker 3: it's like legally a museum, but also a house or 583 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:09,040 Speaker 3: something right. 584 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,000 Speaker 4: Right right around the Is it like around the corner 585 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 4: of your place. Yeah, yeah, it's walking distance. In my 586 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:17,600 Speaker 4: little back neighborhood area, we have a house with like 587 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,720 Speaker 4: we thought for sure that it was like one hundred 588 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 4: percent abandon There's like a car with like ten years 589 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,119 Speaker 4: of dust on it, so we thought it was like 590 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:27,119 Speaker 4: one hundred percent of bandon. 591 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 2: But then out of nowhere, they. 592 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,000 Speaker 4: Put up like really crappy like Christmas lights on this 593 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,199 Speaker 4: like giant overgrown tree in front of their house. So 594 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,840 Speaker 4: we're like, like, I guess someone lives there and they're 595 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 4: in the Christmas spirit. 596 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 2: Yes they are. 597 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 4: And then there's there's someone who literally has like the 598 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 4: plants straight out if you just copy and pasted like 599 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:49,960 Speaker 4: an island jungle that like is there like surrounding area 600 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,919 Speaker 4: of their house really like plants galore. I mean just 601 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 4: like like Jurassic Park kind of plant practice, palm tree, 602 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,200 Speaker 4: just like weird, like trees and plants that you don't 603 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,240 Speaker 4: even know what they are, and just like filed around 604 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 4: your neighborhood sounds super super interesting. This story is a 605 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,359 Speaker 4: story about a neighborhood that is maybe not as inviting 606 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:09,760 Speaker 4: as you are. 607 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 2: It's not as interesting. 608 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,119 Speaker 4: Okay, Am I the a hole for turning in a 609 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,399 Speaker 4: school project that shows that I live in a crap 610 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 4: hole neighborhood where everyone sucks. Hmmm. I'm a high school 611 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 4: student in a Spanish class and we had an assignment 612 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,120 Speaker 4: to make a video tour of our place. It had 613 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 4: to be in Spanish and had to be conversational, like 614 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,880 Speaker 4: you were showing it around to a friend, like, hey, 615 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 4: look at this planned look at this mosaic as it. 616 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,160 Speaker 2: Was pretty cool, don't asta l planto? 617 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 4: Yes, you know, John is very uh I Spanish speak 618 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:43,560 Speaker 4: these Spanish speech yo ah blow Espaniel or poo a 619 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 4: bla Espanol. 620 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:46,280 Speaker 2: How correct? 621 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,400 Speaker 4: Okay? I decided to just walk around my street and 622 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 4: make a tour of that because my family wasn't going 623 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 4: anywhere else. So this is what I filmed. A neighbor's 624 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,720 Speaker 4: house when I walked by and they were having a 625 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 4: screaming fight like usual, and I I said, here are 626 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 4: their neighbors. They are very angry. They like to yell 627 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:11,000 Speaker 4: in the morning, afternoon, and night. Buenosdes The next neighbor's house, 628 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 4: Joe and Tammy live here. They are very nice and 629 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,760 Speaker 4: have three dogs. At that moment, someone drives by and 630 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 4: cat calls me profanely, Hey, no one thuts something like 631 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 4: that would probably worse, as I joke. I yelled back 632 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:32,560 Speaker 4: and stupid, old perro ha, which means stupid dog. Then 633 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 4: he slammed his brakes and yelled something racist about me 634 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 4: being Mexican, before speeding off. I said to the camera, 635 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 4: this man is very stupid. He is a man, but 636 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,600 Speaker 4: acts like a dog. Also, I'm white, but I think 637 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 4: this idiot assumed I was a Hispanic because I was 638 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 4: speaking Spanish. I also introduced ten other mundane things like flowers, 639 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,640 Speaker 4: a bird, et cetera. I cut out the long sequences 640 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,560 Speaker 4: of me walking, but I left in everything else. My 641 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 4: teacher had a rubric of the types of descriptions and 642 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:05,120 Speaker 4: numbers of things you needed, and taking any out would 643 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:08,160 Speaker 4: lose me points. It was too dark out to film anymore, 644 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,080 Speaker 4: so I stopped. The second part of the assignment was 645 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:14,000 Speaker 4: to upload the video on the school website and post 646 00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,400 Speaker 4: comments back and forth, responding to several of your classmates videos. 647 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,320 Speaker 4: One of my friends from class recognized the racist guy 648 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 4: as someone who volunteers with the middle school soccer team. 649 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 4: So the guy that was cat calling is teaching kids 650 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:32,040 Speaker 4: how to play soccer. What So she texted me like, hah, 651 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 4: should I say something? And I said sure? So she 652 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 4: posted in Spanish in the car is mister Jones who 653 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 4: coaches the children. I learned from your video that he 654 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 4: hates women and is racist. I replied to say, does 655 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,240 Speaker 4: he teach the girls or the boys, and she replied 656 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 4: back both. I replied back, that is terrible. I love 657 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 4: how all these sentences are super simple, but they're so savage. 658 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,560 Speaker 4: A guy in my c made a comment like the 659 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 4: man yelling at his family is a police officer. He 660 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 4: is always a very angry man. I replied back to say, 661 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,880 Speaker 4: that is scary. The next day at school, my teacher 662 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 4: wanted to talk to me alone. She told me my 663 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 4: video was inappropriate and I shouldn't have filmed the neighbors 664 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 4: or the coach. I said that this assignment was literally 665 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 4: to walk around a place you're familiar with and react 666 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,440 Speaker 4: like you're having a conversation with a friend, and that 667 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 4: is literally how it goes when I walk around my 668 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,520 Speaker 4: house with my friends. My teacher said, I was being 669 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,040 Speaker 4: belligerent on purpose, and I should have known that this 670 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 4: stuff has to be dealt with delicately. I said, I 671 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 4: just don't agree. It's just life, and there's no point 672 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,440 Speaker 4: of pretending that it's not happening. Facts, Opie, I like, 673 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,600 Speaker 4: Opie is literally dropping these like philosophical gems. 674 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,560 Speaker 2: Just yeah, nonchalantly. 675 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,360 Speaker 4: She said she'd taken down the video and it was 676 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:55,040 Speaker 4: the sort of thing that should be brought to the 677 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,600 Speaker 4: authorities instead of posted for the whole class. I said, 678 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 4: I didn't even know the guy in the car. And 679 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,760 Speaker 4: who was I going to call about the cop? The cops? 680 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,720 Speaker 4: Who police is the police? I have a meeting with 681 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 4: the principal coming up tomorrow. Am I the a hole 682 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 4: for posting a video for Spanish class? First off, man, 683 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:15,880 Speaker 4: can we have a little humor? 684 00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,080 Speaker 2: Yeah? I love give we have a little comedy, man Like. 685 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 4: I honestly, watching that video, I would have cracked up. 686 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,760 Speaker 4: I would have thought it was hilarious. Yeah, she did 687 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,840 Speaker 4: do the assignment that she did. She understood the assignment. 688 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:30,400 Speaker 2: Yes she did. 689 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,120 Speaker 4: But there's an update. John Oh, I had a meeting 690 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 4: this morning and I think it went well. I have 691 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 4: a study hall now, so I have a little more 692 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,600 Speaker 4: time to write an update. So last night I did 693 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,440 Speaker 4: a bunch of prep before the meeting. I emailed the 694 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,880 Speaker 4: video to the elementary school principal, guidance counselor, and a 695 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,440 Speaker 4: few parents I know with kids on the sports team 696 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 4: to say their coach had yelled sexually explicit and hateful 697 00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 4: things at me. A student in the school system, I 698 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 4: wanted to get out ahead and make sure the video 699 00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,120 Speaker 4: was out there before the school might pressure me to 700 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 4: to lead it. Then I backed up the video to 701 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 4: multiple places. Then I asked a teacher I trust to 702 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,680 Speaker 4: sit in on this meeting and have it be recorded 703 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,959 Speaker 4: and sent to all participants afterwards. We scheduled it for 704 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,720 Speaker 4: just before the school day started on Zoom so I 705 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:18,560 Speaker 4: wouldn't miss any class. And then finally I decided to 706 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,480 Speaker 4: write up a list of things I'd want discussed in 707 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,680 Speaker 4: the meeting and shared it with my favorite teacher in 708 00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,080 Speaker 4: advance so she could help me address the questions. 709 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,480 Speaker 2: Bro shout out to Opie. 710 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 4: Opie came really preparedsh darn and for the actual meeting, 711 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,400 Speaker 4: I decided I'd just go into it acting as if 712 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 4: they would obviously do the right thing and ask for help. 713 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,040 Speaker 4: I was hoping having a teacher on my side and 714 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,160 Speaker 4: the meeting on video would pressure them to help. I 715 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,400 Speaker 4: thought if I approached it from and well, obviously you're 716 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:50,200 Speaker 4: going to take this seriously perspective, and had it on video, 717 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,800 Speaker 4: it would put them in a tough spot to have 718 00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,480 Speaker 4: to contradict me. So when I called in, everyone said 719 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,520 Speaker 4: good morning, and the principal asked if I knew why 720 00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,560 Speaker 4: I had been called in this morning. I just started 721 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,560 Speaker 4: out by saying, yes, I assume it's about the kid's coach. 722 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 4: Thank you so much for calling me to this meeting 723 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,840 Speaker 4: this morning. I really appreciate how proactive you are about 724 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,719 Speaker 4: addressing the sexual harassment from a staff member. I understand 725 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,360 Speaker 4: this is a mandated reporting state, and I wanted to 726 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,439 Speaker 4: ask if there's any information you will need to add 727 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:17,040 Speaker 4: to your report. 728 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,520 Speaker 2: That is how it's done. 729 00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:23,000 Speaker 4: Principle seemed kind of caught out and said a report 730 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,880 Speaker 4: had not yet been filed. I said, well, as I 731 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,640 Speaker 4: understand it, there is a forty eight hour timeframe to 732 00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,560 Speaker 4: file report. I understand making you aware of this right 733 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,680 Speaker 4: before the weekend might have complicated things. Perhaps there was 734 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,920 Speaker 4: a miscommunication about the severity of the events, but I 735 00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 4: was approaching a car sexually harassed and threatened by a 736 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 4: man who works with other miners in the public school system. 737 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,960 Speaker 4: As soon as I said all that, the meeting tone 738 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,520 Speaker 4: really changed. The meeting also had a school guidance counselor 739 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,400 Speaker 4: on it, and I could tell she understood how serious 740 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,560 Speaker 4: what I was saying was, especially because I was politely 741 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,600 Speaker 4: calling out that they were already past the legal deadline 742 00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,239 Speaker 4: and that they should have filed the report already. She 743 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,560 Speaker 4: actually took over and the principal didn't participate that much. 744 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,279 Speaker 4: I also tried to smooth things over somewhat by saying 745 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 4: I was sorry I brought this to their attention in 746 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 4: a school project instead of asking for a meeting with 747 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 4: the principal directly, I should have reached out for help. 748 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:16,640 Speaker 2: So that's over. 749 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,480 Speaker 4: I'm still kind of freaking out how big of a 750 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,560 Speaker 4: deal it turned out to be. Also, I want to 751 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:22,719 Speaker 4: say thanks to everyone who had suggestions about how to 752 00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 4: approach this, like having an adult to back me up. 753 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,720 Speaker 4: Getting the meeting on record and knowing about the mandatory reporting. 754 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,560 Speaker 3: OPI is literally a hero like OPI is a freaking lawyer, 755 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,960 Speaker 3: bro a lawyer like just bowling out justice. 756 00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 2: Incredible. Wow wow wow wow. 757 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,760 Speaker 4: But you know what ELS is incredible ooh. 758 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:45,759 Speaker 2: Subscribing to okop. 759 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,840 Speaker 4: Subscribe on YouTube, follow us on Spotify and TikTok, and 760 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,680 Speaker 4: if you really want to be a real one, support 761 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:54,440 Speaker 4: us on Patreon, Join Mohammed, Amanda Willcombs, Conor Van Buren, Desrae, 762 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:55,000 Speaker 4: can't you breaking 763 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 2: Get Simmons, Kathy Giggley see it soon