1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:03,559 Speaker 1: All right, it is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:07,039 Speaker 1: And if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 3 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,120 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 1: dot com and just click submit Strawberry Letter. We could 5 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,760 Speaker 1: be reading your letter live on the air, just like 6 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,600 Speaker 1: we're going to read this one right here, right now, 7 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 1: and you never know, it could be yours. It could 8 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it. 9 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: Fail you here at ease. The Strawberry Letter subject Polite 10 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 1: in the streets, rude in the sheets. Dear Stephen Shirley, 11 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: I'm a fifty two year old newlywed and I married 12 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 1: a pastor whose wife died five years ago. Long story short. 13 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: I started attending his church around five years ago and 14 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: he was very polite and welcoming, but I had no 15 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,480 Speaker 1: idea he was interested in me. When his wife died, 16 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: I attended the memorial service and he gave me a 17 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:55,319 Speaker 1: lingering hug in the back of the church. I sent 18 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 1: a card to the church and he said a thank 19 00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: you note and said he loved seeing me during the 20 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: eleven am service. I mostly attended the eight am service, 21 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,760 Speaker 1: but since he said that I started going to the 22 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 1: eleven am service. He politely greeted me every Sunday and 23 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 1: thanked me for coming. I still had no idea he 24 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,319 Speaker 1: was interested in me. Then out of the blue, he 25 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: asked me to talk to him in his office one Sunday. 26 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 1: He was very frank about what he wanted and how 27 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 1: he wanted it. I was shocked to hear a very 28 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 1: polite man of God talking like that, but I was 29 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 1: aroused because I secretly had a crush on him. He 30 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 1: told me he was lonely and needed a woman in 31 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: his bed. He asked if I was interested in dating him, 32 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: and he made it clear that he wanted to get 33 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: married so he could have sex as soon as possible. 34 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: My heart fluttered and I got caught up in the 35 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: idea of getting married. Close to a year later, we 36 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 1: got married, and on our wedding night, we were intimate 37 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: for the first time, and he said the most vile 38 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: and offensive things to me. From the time I started 39 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,359 Speaker 1: taking my clothes off till the bitter end, his language 40 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: sounded like a porn video. I thought it was because 41 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: he hadn't been with a woman in a while, but 42 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,800 Speaker 1: that's just how he is. He's not the polite old 43 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 1: man that his church thinks he is. Is this something 44 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: that a marriage counseling will fix or should I get 45 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: the marriage annulled before he gets worse? Well, this is 46 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:38,519 Speaker 1: a problem for you because you say you're offended and uncomfortable. 47 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,480 Speaker 1: Well that shouldn't be and it's never good in any marriage. 48 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: But many, many people are, of course, one way in public, 49 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 1: and then they get behind closed doors in the bedroom, 50 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 1: and you know they get wild their wild side shows. 51 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 1: People do what turns them on behind closed doors. But 52 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: what I'm trying to figure out with you is if 53 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: you're doctor the fact that your husband is a pastor 54 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: and he's talking like this, or you just don't like 55 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,120 Speaker 1: the dirty talk in the bedroom period because at first 56 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: you said you know, you were flattered, or you know 57 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: you had a crush on him too, you were aroused. 58 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 1: You got to remember that pastors are human too, They 59 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,959 Speaker 1: are men, and that's what he is in the bedroom 60 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: with his wife. He's not your pastor there, but he's 61 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 1: a man. Okay, he's a human. He's imperfect, he's implawed, 62 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: he's flawed, he's all that. And you did say, like 63 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: I said, that you were aroused when he brought you 64 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 1: in his office. That was when you should have asked 65 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: him questions about what he meant by that and what 66 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: did he expect. But you said you got caught up 67 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: in the idea of marriage. You still didn't get married 68 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: for almost a year. You had plenty of time to 69 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: talk to him between your office visit and the wedding. 70 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: That was almost a year, like you said, and you 71 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: still haven't talked to him about it. You still haven't 72 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: talked to him. You wrote us instead, you asked about counseling, 73 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: which I always think is a good idea, especially before 74 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 1: you decide to end your marriage completely. And and and 75 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: you know, maybe Pastor NaSTA can tone it down for 76 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 1: you if he if he knows how it makes you feel. 77 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 1: You just got to talk to him about it. Steve, 78 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 1: yeah'na work. Nothing you say it gonna work here. Nothing 79 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 1: you said it's gonna work. Well, this is a different 80 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: kind of issue here. This is not for counseling. I 81 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: disagree with that, but go ahead, no running. Wait a minute, 82 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: what are they gonna say in counseling that he's gonna 83 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:40,719 Speaker 1: be willing to say out loud because pasting nasty? I 84 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: said that, now this is troubled, but it's really not 85 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:51,599 Speaker 1: troubled though. See it's trouble, but it ain't. You fitted too. 86 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 1: You heard all this be more. You just have never 87 00:04:55,640 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: heard it directed in but you've heard all this before. 88 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: There are no new words. There's some new ways to 89 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,479 Speaker 1: phrase it. And I think I have a way to 90 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 1: help to pass the out because so in the pastor 91 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 1: got his wife that died five years ago. You just 92 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: happened to start going to the church five years ago. 93 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:19,359 Speaker 1: He was polite and welcoming men, and you didn't know 94 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 1: he was interested in you. When his wife died, you 95 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,160 Speaker 1: went to the Mamal service. He gave me a lingering 96 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: hug in the back of the church at the damn 97 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:31,600 Speaker 1: Mamal service. This ain't the time to start pushing up 98 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: on nobody, pastor, But that's how you took it. I 99 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: sent a card to the church and thank and a 100 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: thank you note, And well, why did you send a 101 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: card to the church and a thank you though? For what? 102 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: Where was your thanking him for the linkering hug for 103 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 1: his wife his wife's past I sent a card to 104 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 1: the church and he send a thank you though. Okay, 105 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:05,039 Speaker 1: So lady Okay, anyway, I ain't got nothing with that. 106 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,279 Speaker 1: Don't worry about that. Anyway. You sent the card and 107 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 1: he said he loves seeing me doing the eleven o'clock service. 108 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,000 Speaker 1: I'm mostly attend to eight o'clock service. But since he 109 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: said that I started going to the eleven o'clock, you 110 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,560 Speaker 1: didn't see the little subliminal gangster move he put in there. 111 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,479 Speaker 1: I need you to start coming to the eleven o'clock 112 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 1: because after that I can help you over to the 113 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: office and i'll at you. But if you come to 114 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 1: the eight o'clock, it's too close to the eleven o'clock 115 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: and too many people up in there, and I ain't 116 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: gonna daven holl an't you. So I need to subliminally 117 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 1: suggest that you come to the eleven o'clock and you 118 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: failed for it. Oh, we'll have part two of Steve's 119 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 1: response coming up with twenty three minutes after the hour. 120 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letters, subject polite in the streets, rude and 121 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 1: the sheets. We'll get back into it right after this. 122 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: You're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve, 123 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,919 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters, subject Polite in the street 124 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 1: rude in the sheet. Well, let's just get to what 125 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,160 Speaker 1: the letters about. It really ain't about how they met. Now, 126 00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: she didn't marry this pass to whose wife died, and 127 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: now the problem is or she went into the passer's 128 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 1: office one day and he was very frank about what 129 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: he wanted and how he wanted it. I was shocked 130 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 1: to hear a polite man of God talking like that. 131 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: But I was aroused. She right there. It worked. It worked. 132 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: You were shocked, but you were aroused. It worked because 133 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: you had secretly had a crush on it. He told 134 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,679 Speaker 1: you he was lonely and needed a woman in his bed. 135 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: He asked me if I was interested in dating him, 136 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: and he made it clearly he wanted to get married 137 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,360 Speaker 1: so he could have sex as soon as possible. My 138 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 1: heart flooding. Oh, I got caught up in the idea 139 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: of getting mad. Close to a year later we got married, 140 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 1: and on our wed to night we were intimate for 141 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: the first time. He's said the most vile and offensive 142 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: things to me, from the time I started taking my 143 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: clothes off all the way to the bitter end. The 144 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 1: language sounded like a porn video. I thought, it's because 145 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 1: he hasn't been with a woman in a while. But 146 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: that's just how he is. He ain't polite old man. 147 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: He is at the church, thank you? Is this something 148 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: that manage counselor will fix it? Or should I get 149 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: the marriage an all before it gets worth? So what 150 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: I would suggest to the past, you want to talk 151 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: viole to a woman, you have to start using different turns. 152 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 1: You could accomplish this without cousin and without making actual 153 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: vulgar remarks. I have a few things that I would 154 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: suggest the past to start said, and it'll come across it. 155 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,960 Speaker 1: It'll get the pastor where he needed to be. But 156 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 1: without but with only using regular words and animals what animals? What? What? 157 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: You need to use words and animals and you can 158 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 1: get all is not animals sounds. No, you can be 159 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 1: You can be vibe when you sprank my monkey. So 160 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 1: you got to do stuff like that where you can 161 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: say vile and nasty stuff. But it don't if you 162 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: just read it it all it says is spank. The 163 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 1: next word is my and the word is monkey. But 164 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: needing those words by itself are nasty. But when you 165 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 1: put them all together and you use the right tone, Oh, 166 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,680 Speaker 1: sprank my monkey. When you say it like that, pass 167 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: you get to accomplish what you want. Get on this gorilla, 168 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 1: see right there, saying stuff that can another way, this gorilla, 169 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:02,440 Speaker 1: you don't what you're talking about. It'll accomplished what he wants. 170 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: You know what, I'm black. You better be my will 171 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: the beast. You gotta say that like this. You gotta 172 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,680 Speaker 1: just get it out, you know. Let me quack quack 173 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 1: on that duck. Yeah, you know, I just got ways 174 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 1: that you can give it to another. Let me milk 175 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,959 Speaker 1: your skittles. You throw a candy in every nine and 176 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,560 Speaker 1: then they don't always have to be stuff like that. 177 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: You know. Oh you you my black market mama. You 178 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: know something. Yeah, you my black fucking mama. You know 179 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: you're being mild, but you're not really. You're keeping it 180 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: as a Christian. You know. Oh, I'm gonna crack that cricket. 181 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 1: You know you don't really what you're just saying stuff 182 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 1: that duode like that. I'm gonna chase that cheetah. Now, okay, 183 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 1: get on downna chase the cheating. Then, don't nobody got 184 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: to know what you're talking about. You know, you're laid 185 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 1: down on my lion right now. Yeah, come out, laid 186 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: down on my lion that hain't got the jungle. Yeah, see, 187 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 1: you're able to talk viol to this woman when and 188 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: then you could throw in like script as you in passing, 189 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 1: you know, Lazarus dead but I ain't, you know, Yeah, 190 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 1: what's a a little script. But just say Lazarus died. 191 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: You know, that's all the nigga, you know, drake some 192 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:27,400 Speaker 1: of this jungle juice, you know, jungle juice they had 193 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: that used to say that after a seventy eleven jungle juice, 194 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: you know. And those are the things that he could 195 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,320 Speaker 1: say to her and still be violent, maybe keep his 196 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 1: marriage together. So if I was a counselor, that's what 197 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 1: I would recommend, because he likes talking dirty, and he 198 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:50,959 Speaker 1: just had to use clean words that insinuate dirty thoughts. 199 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 1: And I'm very proud of that because I don't think 200 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: he's gonna be able to go back and calling this 201 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 1: woman and names he was calling her because she talked 202 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: about right now. I can tell you right now, pastor 203 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:05,480 Speaker 1: talking so crazy to this pastor talking so crazy to 204 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:09,679 Speaker 1: this way, I just don't want in here. Yeah, go ahead, 205 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna tell us stripes off physic. You know 206 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:19,440 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You gotta get it like that. Look animal, 207 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:23,559 Speaker 1: That's how it is, is right there. You know on 208 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 1: this draft. Why don't you get on? Why don't you 209 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 1: get on? Some of this crop could die. You just 210 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 1: take your time and say it passed. Yeah, you know 211 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, you know, just kind of put it 212 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 1: out there like that. Keep it all animal, you know 213 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: what I'm saying Like that, Well, nowhere to go from here. 214 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 1: I'm fitting to run up on you like a heard. 215 00:12:54,840 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: Yeah you heard today. You're gonna think it's a lot 216 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: of strawberry letters on Instagram at Harvey at them. Check 217 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,200 Speaker 1: out the strawberry letter post on demand. Coming up next, 218 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 1: Supports Talk. Junior. You're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.