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Speaker 1: This episode is brought to you by self Ceremony, a

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Speaker 1: self care brand that celebrates putting aside time to honor

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Speaker 1: yourself and celebrate the self ceremonies we all need in

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Speaker 1: our lives.

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Speaker 2: Self Ceremony has some bomb ass herbal smokes.

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Speaker 3: They have a lot of which, by.

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Speaker 1: The way, if you don't know what erbal smokes are,

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Speaker 1: they're smokes without cannabis, which I thought was really strange,

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Speaker 1: to be honest, but I've smoked them and I really

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Speaker 1: enjoy them and the idea.

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Speaker 3: They have one that's like calm. They're all kind of.

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Speaker 4: All different uses.

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Speaker 1: They also have crystal dildos or crystal pleasure tools ones

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Speaker 1: one one pleasure one which I have a rose quartz

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Speaker 1: one and I've been using that along with my Yoni egg,

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Speaker 1: which has been an interesting exploration.

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Speaker 2: And I think what's really cool about the wands is

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Speaker 2: each of them has different healing aids, so they do

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Speaker 2: different things if you align yourself.

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Speaker 3: They also have.

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Speaker 4: Oh Guasha tool. Have you ever used those?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 4: Like the ones? Would?

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Speaker 1: No? No, it's not what It's like j aid and

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Speaker 1: you use it to like massage your face and it

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Speaker 1: brings circulation back into your skin.

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Speaker 4: And it encourages like a circulation and.

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Speaker 1: Youth and really just like honestly, I use it right here,

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Speaker 1: like like on my like that jaw. Bitch, I clench

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Speaker 1: my jaw so much, ask anyone. People always like, bitch,

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Speaker 1: why are you clenching your jaw? But with the Guasha tool,

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Speaker 1: it feels like it helps kind of like break down

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Speaker 1: that pressure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I also rend my teeth at night. Also,

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Speaker 2: what I really enjoy from self Ceremony is that they

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Speaker 2: have crystal pipes.

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Speaker 1: Yes I know, and they're really beautiful. Yeah, basically their bomb.

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Speaker 1: Go check them out self Ceremony dot com and let

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Speaker 1: them know good Moms that.

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Speaker 5: You I.

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Speaker 6: Know you don't lose it, just snop. Come on, baby,

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Speaker 6: you guys to get into with you don't hope with

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Speaker 6: the player with the cool.

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Speaker 4: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 3: I'm Erica and I'm Nila.

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Speaker 4: Happy Wednesday. Hey y'all.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Hope you guys are having a wonderful week. Hope

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Speaker 1: you guys set your intentions for the week. Hope you

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Speaker 1: guys have been working on that manifestation man woman, whatever

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Speaker 1: the fuck you want list partner manifestation. I worked on

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Speaker 1: mine on Halloween, which I don't know why. I just

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Speaker 1: like I came home. I had such like a crazy

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Speaker 1: Halloween with Iri, like going to like one hundred and

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Speaker 1: four different events, and at one point I was like

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Speaker 1: I was like, was like, don't you want to leave?

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Speaker 4: Like we can go home, we can like cuddle, we

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Speaker 4: can eat your candy. Like I really sold it to

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Speaker 4: her and she was like, yeah, I do.

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Speaker 3: I was like, fuck my god, loft the thing earlier.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And so we came back and we were chilling.

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Speaker 1: I was in my robe and I was like, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I need to go ahead and really focus

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Speaker 1: on that list and make that goddamn list.

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Speaker 4: And once I started a girl, I couldn't stop.

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Speaker 3: Did you see that?

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Speaker 4: Did you see my list? It was like two pages long?

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Speaker 3: Wait is when I was did you post it?

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Speaker 2: I did?

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Speaker 3: Is that yours?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: I thought it was somebody else's.

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Speaker 2: I I've screenshotted all the ones people have shown us

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Speaker 2: for reference.

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Speaker 3: I haven't done it, but I think I need to

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Speaker 3: do it more than ever.

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Speaker 1: By the way, my best friend Sebastian is sitting in

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Speaker 1: on this episode.

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Speaker 3: Rolling a joints.

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Speaker 4: So if you hear a wheezing man, that's him.

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Speaker 3: That's what I was like, you know, I didn't really

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Speaker 3: know what you meant by the wheezing, but you're right,

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Speaker 3: it's just there.

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Speaker 1: But uh, I say, oh, that's so that list. So

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Speaker 1: I just had time and I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I it's so important to write it down because I

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Speaker 1: really had to think about every I was like, don't

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Speaker 1: miss a thing. That's my specific, like my mom said

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Speaker 1: the specific. Yeah, so I was being Hella specific. And

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Speaker 1: I got a few more to add to the list

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Speaker 1: after this week, this yesterday, I got a few to

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Speaker 1: add to that list.

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Speaker 4: Need to be even more specific, and you know you

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Speaker 4: I don't. I feel like it's a list you can

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Speaker 4: keep adding to.

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Speaker 1: You can take things away too, because I think there's

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Speaker 1: times when you encounter the things you think you want

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Speaker 1: and then you see them and you're like, you know,

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Speaker 1: actually I don't really need that.

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Speaker 2: I know somebody Uh I reposted somebody's list and somebody

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Speaker 2: else was.

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Speaker 3: Like, she wants a robot. So I went to re

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Speaker 3: reference the list.

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Speaker 2: I was like, this bitch doesn't know her self worth No, bitch,

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Speaker 2: she knows what she wants.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she knows exactly what you want.

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Speaker 2: Now, this is not a robot. This seems about fair.

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Speaker 2: You could add twenty more things. Yeah, fuck that shit.

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Speaker 2: It's going to be specific, and I think it's not

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Speaker 2: so much like looks and perfection as it is just specifics.

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Speaker 2: That shit is important, And I'm actually like thinking about

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Speaker 2: the list that I'm creating in my mind, I'm actually

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Speaker 2: grateful for the fuck that relationships that I've had and

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Speaker 2: the people I've had, because that's how I'm going to

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Speaker 2: know what to put on this list specifically.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of which, oh wait, we have we we haven't

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Speaker 1: talked in a while, actually since before my birthday trip.

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Speaker 3: Oh we haven't, we haven't.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, my birthday trip was wonderful. Thanks for asking.

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Speaker 3: Why don't you recap that a bit?

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Speaker 1: Oh? You know, I just made a lot of really

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Speaker 1: great decisions for myself. It was all about everything I

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Speaker 1: wanted to do, and I did that. I may have

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Speaker 1: fell in love and Tuloom, I'm I haven't talked to

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Speaker 1: him every day.

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Speaker 3: Every day? Right now? What are you gonna call him?

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Speaker 4: T Loombay?

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Speaker 3: Taloombay. Yeah, as Africa is Africa, I.

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Speaker 4: Found another African. He's from a different region. No more Nigerians.

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Speaker 4: I'm just kidding.

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Speaker 1: No, I just I had a great time, Like I

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Speaker 1: had such a good time with my friends. You know,

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Speaker 1: I had a lot of self realizations out there, like

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Speaker 1: moments of like, you know what I'm not I don't.

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Speaker 1: I realized, like I said, I think before this episode,

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Speaker 1: like before we were when we recorded our last episode,

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Speaker 1: that my year of thirty two for me really felt

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Speaker 1: like years of like trusting my instincts and my gut

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Speaker 1: and like not questioning myself when I know I feel something.

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Speaker 1: So I was on the beaches of Tulum and I

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Speaker 1: suddenly like remembered that I have this audition that I

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Speaker 1: was supposed to send a self tape for and it

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Speaker 1: was like a really big audition. And I've been like

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Speaker 1: battling with this back and forth for a while because

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Speaker 1: I've been acting pretty much my whole life on and off.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to do this anymore, Like this doesn't make me happy,

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Speaker 1: Like I hate auditioning.

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Speaker 4: I'm done with auditioning. And my friend was like, what

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Speaker 4: You're done, and I'm like yeah.

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Speaker 1: And I came back to LA and I fired everyone

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Speaker 1: and I had not fired, but I told them, like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm done like I just need a break,

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Speaker 1: but it might be not be a break, it might

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Speaker 1: be an extended break. So I feel like I've already

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Speaker 1: started to start to cut the things off of trim

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Speaker 1: the fat.

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Speaker 4: For thirty two. And then I also we ended. Me

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Speaker 4: and my girl ended up.

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Speaker 1: We were on this boat all night, all day and

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Speaker 1: may or may not have you know, been partaking and

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Speaker 1: party things.

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Speaker 4: And then.

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Speaker 1: We got back to that crib and everyone was so

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Speaker 1: fucking tired. But I was like, no, we're not, but

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Speaker 1: this is not ending. So I got my friend dressed,

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Speaker 1: literally physically put her clothes on, did her makeup. We

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Speaker 1: went to this party and we did her makeup. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like it was like I literally got her dress. Like

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Speaker 1: I'm not kidding, but I'm so glad we went because yeah,

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Speaker 1: I ended up meeting this guy and like we had

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Speaker 1: a really great I had like a tuloom like love affair.

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Speaker 1: It was fucking awesome. It was like Sundance all over again.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, we're gonna meet up in New York and oh,

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Speaker 1: you are this true? And he's younger than me.

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Speaker 4: You know I don't do younger. Oh I know, you

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Speaker 4: know I'm I discriminate young.

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Speaker 3: Beye to Limbae, that's very African, young Bay. We're just

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Speaker 3: making up.

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Speaker 4: God he ever hears this.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, bitch, you are like vacation school or okay, you're

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Speaker 2: like international dating app out of town luck. Okay, you

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Speaker 2: talk about you're not lucky, You're lucky as fuck. Every

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Speaker 2: time it's bitch goes somewhere, she comes back in love

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Speaker 2: or she at least has a good date somebody.

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Speaker 4: There was a post, I responded. I responded.

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Speaker 1: I was like, first, make sure you go to a

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Speaker 1: location where there's probability of meeting a sexy man is

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Speaker 1: high aka the Islands. To Loom, I said, to Loom

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Speaker 1: or Spain, But you meant did me meet somebody in

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Speaker 1: like Europe? And then I said, and then I said,

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Speaker 1: musical events or film events like festivals.

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Speaker 4: Here are the because there's always a mix of people,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 1: And then I was like step two, drink tequila. Step three,

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Speaker 1: have no inhibitions the end. So because on this trip

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Speaker 1: I had zero inhibitions, I definitely indulged for sure in everyone.

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Speaker 1: I was before we fell in love, that was before

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Speaker 1: I met my husband.

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Speaker 2: How long were there fell in love and married?

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Speaker 1: I got straight to work and then I found my

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Speaker 1: husband because I manifested him because.

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Speaker 2: She had no inhibitions. See, ladies, what happens? We have

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Speaker 2: no in ambitions.

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Speaker 4: I mean he does check off on a few of

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Speaker 4: the things that I had on the list, so, but

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Speaker 4: it's to be seeing the rest.

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Speaker 2: He's going to come to New York. Yeah, because he's

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Speaker 2: in DC. Okay, you know when I go to New York.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm doing?

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Speaker 4: What are you doing?

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Speaker 3: I'm resettying my Hinge location.

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Speaker 4: You do need to do that.

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Speaker 3: Mama's in town.

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Speaker 4: Turn that just so whack.

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Speaker 1: I just got a message from someone from Hinge like that.

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Speaker 1: We connected like three weeks ago. He's like, hey, sorry,

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Speaker 1: just checking. I'm like, figure goodbye. Why I'm bad too though,

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Speaker 1: I mean I go check it for like a week.

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Speaker 4: Why I swipe?

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Speaker 3: Okay? But I have complaints about Hinge.

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Speaker 2: First and foremost, fuck Hinge because the person said the

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Speaker 2: email alert me to say I'm most compatible.

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Speaker 4: With It's never accurate.

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Speaker 3: It's always the person I'm the least compatible. Who the

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Speaker 3: fuck is magic? I don't want this.

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Speaker 2: We look like cute.

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Speaker 4: My baby looks on that thing.

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 3: And also, you know, after you swipe, like you like

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Speaker 3: people too.

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Speaker 2: Much, it will pause you for the day to Okay,

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Speaker 2: that's never happened to me.

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Speaker 4: How many swipes are you doing?

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Speaker 3: Well? No, you did tell me that one time.

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Speaker 4: No, that's on rayah.

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Speaker 3: Oh well, I thought, well it did occur to me.

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Speaker 3: I am obviously like you. I'm always giving somebody.

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Speaker 4: A chance, like I say, I'm so U No. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I started to change my approach, like can I see

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Speaker 2: myself looking at this face every day?

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Speaker 1: When I did go check back into my compatibility section

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Speaker 1: or what the fuck the person I had swiped on?

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Speaker 1: I was like, wait, I swiped on this. I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 1: are you trolling me? There's no way I swiped on

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Speaker 1: this nigga. No, no, they might be trolling you.

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Speaker 4: Who was he was? Oh my god?

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Speaker 3: Where did he go?

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Speaker 2: Remember? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: You know I remember.

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Speaker 4: I found we were talking about I'm talking. Wait, yes,

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Speaker 4: I don't to go back there.

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Speaker 3: Why Why did I match with him? Is what I

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Speaker 3: want to know.

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Speaker 1: I don't think he's on my list anymore. Maybe he

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Speaker 1: deleted me? Can you delete people?

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Speaker 4: You can only hide them?

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Speaker 2: Well, one time this guy is like you know my

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Speaker 2: ex and blocking I was like, I don't even have

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Speaker 2: no idea where you do.

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Speaker 1: I think it's when you hide them, because you can

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Speaker 1: hide people, and I think when you do that, you're

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Speaker 1: deybe he found.

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Speaker 3: The love of his life.

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Speaker 4: I don't know whatever.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, I went on I didn't tell you.

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Speaker 3: I went on a date, and frankly, I was hungry.

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Speaker 1: I literally needed to write a booklet When Jammia's Hungry,

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Speaker 1: A Story of.

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Speaker 3: First Date, It's so good. Starts today When Jimmia's Hungry,

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Speaker 3: A Story of First Date. It's like it's like a

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Speaker 3: children first and last Dates. I fucking love it. Nobody

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Speaker 3: tries some ideas.

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Speaker 2: So I went to this date and this guy's like,

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Speaker 2: oh well, because I was like hungry right then, because

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Speaker 2: I know it's like such big image.

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Speaker 3: I was like he's like. I was like, want to

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Speaker 3: go now? He's like, okay, well how about eight?

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Speaker 2: It was like six. I was like, well, I'm starving.

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Speaker 2: He's like, what was my daughter? I'm like fine, I'll wait.

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Speaker 2: So we're talking. Keep in mind, he's like fifty. He's

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Speaker 2: like older white guy. He's cool though, but he's like

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Speaker 2: also like seven feet tall. I was not suspecting that

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Speaker 2: I meet him at the She's fare that he suggested,

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Speaker 2: and there's like this little white lady sitting next to us,

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Speaker 2: and I can see her like, look over, like, wasn't

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Speaker 2: expecting this bitch to walk.

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Speaker 1: Like a five foot two black woman seven foot tall

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Speaker 1: white man, and like I probably appear to be, like

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Speaker 1: do you probably had on your high heel.

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Speaker 5: Heart.

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Speaker 3: No, I was wearing jeans and boots.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, he keeps talking and somehow we mentioned someone

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Speaker 2: and he's like, oh, because a friend of the family

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Speaker 2: dated so and so.

295
00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,480
Speaker 3: And immediately I know who he's talking about.

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Speaker 2: So I'm like who, And he says a person that

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Speaker 2: I know and that is friends with my baby daddy.

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Speaker 3: And I'm just like I know him or whatever.

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Speaker 2: But I'm like, if only this gets back to him,

300
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,120
Speaker 2: like what the fuck are you?

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Speaker 3: Well you didn't know, I mean I didn't know. I

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Speaker 3: mean I was not a big deal.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So anybody jump ahead, like two days dinner was great, fantastic,

304
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:42,000
Speaker 2: he was an excellent sushi order. But you know whatever,

305
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:47,200
Speaker 2: So he tries to hang out again. I'm tired. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's gonna happen. He's like, he says,

307
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Speaker 2: I was like, and I have my kid or something.

308
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,600
Speaker 2: He was like, well, you can put it to sleep

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Speaker 2: and I can come over. I just stopped responding. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I wasn't that compelled either way. But he was like,

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Speaker 2: did I say was I too forward?

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry?

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Speaker 4: Hello, Yeah, don't tell me what I need to do.

314
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Speaker 4: Thank you. If I want to do that, I'll do that.

315
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,120
Speaker 4: But I I don't know you.

316
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Speaker 3: You think I'm gonna invite you to my house with

317
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Speaker 3: my kids. No, the fact that she was suggested absurd.

318
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,520
Speaker 4: No, that is absurd. That is absurd.

319
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Speaker 3: Jimmila's first in last date ridiculous.

320
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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I have so many now that you're

321
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:38,800
Speaker 2: just saying, so Psycho, I am.

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Speaker 4: A book of first and last anyway. Yeah, so that's

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Speaker 4: that's updated on.

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Speaker 3: Me for everybody. Know, there's a lot of gaps left

325
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:53,200
Speaker 3: out of this. Shut up. I'm gonna be the first sacond.

326
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,480
Speaker 3: That vacation was like some Swiss cheese.

327
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Speaker 4: I'm not ready to share. I know when I'm ready

328
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:08,040
Speaker 4: to share it, I will share. Four years had a

329
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,240
Speaker 4: great time. That was awesome.

330
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:15,560
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, any other updates, any of the current events.

331
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:23,680
Speaker 3: No, I was gonna say something absurd, you would kill me.

332
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:24,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not.

333
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:36,800
Speaker 1: I almost have like a thousand things, and then I said.

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00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,720
Speaker 3: You know, I was gonna say, we should plan a

335
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:34,560
Speaker 3: New York meetup.

336
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:39,280
Speaker 4: You know what, we should plan a fun up meetup.

337
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,520
Speaker 1: You know, like what does that ship where we like

338
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,800
Speaker 1: break ship a break room. We are going to do that,

339
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:47,440
Speaker 1: I know, like asap, like I needed. I saw a

340
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,080
Speaker 1: coupon on the internet. See it's a sign.

341
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I thought it was for.

342
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,480
Speaker 4: Sure, but also the internet's listening.

343
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 3: I think that specifically.

344
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, actually I know this is not to be true

345
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:00,640
Speaker 2: because I saw on somebody else's phone.

346
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,400
Speaker 3: You saw it on someone else's phone.

347
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,120
Speaker 6: No, that's whoever's phone is around, and you like, you're

348
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:06,800
Speaker 6: talking about things I talked about shoes.

349
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,080
Speaker 1: I bet you in ten minutes, I get I g Yeah,

350
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,119
Speaker 1: the specific designer you spoke of.

351
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,160
Speaker 3: Is anybody fighting against this? Our rights are being infringed

352
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,240
Speaker 3: in You.

353
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,200
Speaker 4: Can go to the setting and I don't believe that. No,

354
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,480
Speaker 4: I believe it's there. I don't believe it works.

355
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,240
Speaker 3: You do you do you ever? Do you ever see

356
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:24,159
Speaker 3: on your cell phone?

357
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,560
Speaker 2: If you like, jump out of an app or something,

358
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,560
Speaker 2: it kind of like the recording microphone in the top

359
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:31,960
Speaker 2: left corner, like linger.

360
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,520
Speaker 1: Because that little weird you see you see sometimes it

361
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,439
Speaker 1: will pop up at weird time.

362
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:36,439
Speaker 3: You see that it's recording.

363
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,480
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I've seen it pop up and.

364
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,919
Speaker 3: Is this a good show? You the recording ultimate?

365
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,879
Speaker 4: But you have seen it too, right, you know I

366
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:50,439
Speaker 4: don't like that. Ship Halloween was fun. Halloween.

367
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:55,879
Speaker 2: Oh I did a family costume with baby Daddy.

368
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:57,960
Speaker 3: We did Adam.

369
00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,119
Speaker 4: It was so good. She was so invested it.

370
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,040
Speaker 3: She's like, call me Wednesday all day.

371
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:03,200
Speaker 4: I love her.

372
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:04,960
Speaker 2: And then I was like, guess well, it's time to

373
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,000
Speaker 2: get dressed from home and she's like I'm so excited.

374
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,520
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you know what we got that?

375
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,639
Speaker 4: She was so scared we were trigger treating. She was.

376
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,399
Speaker 1: I was like super Girl over here, like I was

377
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,080
Speaker 1: usually the scaredy cat, and she's like, Luna, don't worry,

378
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:19,520
Speaker 1: it's okay, I've got you. I'm wonder woman.

379
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:20,960
Speaker 4: It was hilarious.

380
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,320
Speaker 2: Me Mom, I'm like, what kind of non scary Adam's

381
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 2: family are you.

382
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,640
Speaker 3: I got a couple of texts. I got a text.

383
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:35,720
Speaker 2: From somebody like you have a boyfriend. I was like,

384
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,000
Speaker 2: oh no, I have a baby daddy that participates in

385
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 2: Halloween and family Halloween.

386
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 4: With questions and ship oh god, I know.

387
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:51,879
Speaker 2: It would be like you dedicated a text to buy audios.

388
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:52,960
Speaker 3: Do you have a boyfriend?

389
00:18:53,040 --> 00:19:05,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're doing a family fucking costume, right.

390
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 1: So.

391
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,840
Speaker 4: Wait, what were we gonna talk about today?

392
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 3: College?

393
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 4: College?

394
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,240
Speaker 3: College? College?

395
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,880
Speaker 2: So we asked for suggestions. We guys are really good ones.

396
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,560
Speaker 2: It's gonna take us at least six months to get

397
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 2: through them all. Hellelujah.

398
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:21,800
Speaker 4: College.

399
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,720
Speaker 2: So someone asked that she's in college and she feels

400
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,159
Speaker 2: like she feels like she's going for her family, and

401
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 2: she doesn't know if she really wants to go, and

402
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:33,120
Speaker 2: then she just then she uh proceeded to remind us,

403
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,919
Speaker 2: you guys didn't finish college, right, like, damn, you know

404
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,120
Speaker 2: our business I forgot.

405
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:43,840
Speaker 3: So so we were.

406
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 2: Just, uh, I was revisiting my decision to go to college.

407
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 2: But Eric is like, I was like, you know, the

408
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,399
Speaker 2: fact that we didn't we dropped out. She's like it

409
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,560
Speaker 2: wasn't even a thought. I just it's just something I did.

410
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was like it was a gradual dropout.

411
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:57,480
Speaker 5: Yeah.

412
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 2: Mine, that was like a gradual drop until point I

413
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,320
Speaker 2: was like, bitch, you're not going yeah, like yeah, that's.

414
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,919
Speaker 1: We're just not gonna waste that money this time because

415
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:05,919
Speaker 1: I was barely going.

416
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:11,800
Speaker 4: I was not committing. Yeah, I mean for me, I

417
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,360
Speaker 4: feel like it's so hard, Like.

418
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,399
Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel like college at seventeen, when

419
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 1: I was in college, I barely even knew anything about

420
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 1: myself anything, like to put. I think we put people

421
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 1: in college and we want them to figure out what

422
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:30,720
Speaker 1: they want to do for the rest of their life,

423
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,200
Speaker 1: and like it's so much pressure. But now that I'm

424
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:37,479
Speaker 1: an adult, like I finally feel more focused and like

425
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,800
Speaker 1: in line with my interests. So now I can be

426
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,640
Speaker 1: more specific about the classes I want to take, Whereas

427
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 1: now then it was like you don't feel like you

428
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 1: have a choice, you have to decide, and like this

429
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 1: is it? So I mean honestly though, when I left college,

430
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 1: it was because I had a better I had a

431
00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 1: great I was getting a great job opportunity that I

432
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 1: felt like I couldn't pass up, and it was it

433
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 1: was like the best thing for me. Like I'm glad

434
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 1: that I left college.

435
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 2: I'm definitely glad that I left. I think I think

436
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 2: you have like college people and then you have non

437
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 2: college people. You know, for some people, you can go

438
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:19,320
Speaker 2: to college, you can knock it out, you can finish

439
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 2: it high I wasn't.

440
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,920
Speaker 4: Making sure enough me. That's what it is, like really.

441
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 3: I can barely focus as right now.

442
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 1: I want to go back to school, though I do too,

443
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 1: but like then, I don't know. And I did good

444
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,400
Speaker 1: in high school, like I had good grades, and like

445
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 1: college was always so important.

446
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,240
Speaker 4: We were talking about college when I was like eleven.

447
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:41,640
Speaker 1: That's when we started to talk about college and think

448
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 1: about future schools and right, like that huge deal because

449
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 1: I went to like this really bougie what's it called

450
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 1: element middle school and they were always they were just

451
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,399
Speaker 1: like trying to suck anyone's moneyway, Like that's when they

452
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,239
Speaker 1: start those like rich white privileged people, that's when they

453
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 1: start just deciding like Okay, I'm gonna start investing in

454
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,400
Speaker 1: this college when she's this age, so they know who

455
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,680
Speaker 1: she is. And by the time it's time to graduate,

456
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 1: we've already created this relationship. I've been donating to this fund,

457
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 1: you know, Nigga, I know Julie mm hmmm, And you

458
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 1: start really trying to make those connections. It's a whole

459
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: Even like this elementary kindergartenship feels like it's.

460
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 4: A lot of socializing and know it's like Jesus Christ.

461
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 4: It's really just very political.

462
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: I think about Iri too, I think, like, what would

463
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 1: she what would I do? Am I going to encourage

464
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,479
Speaker 1: her to go to college? Part of me is like, well,

465
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 1: obviously I'm going to encourage it. I'm not gonna say

466
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 1: just I don't know. I think I think I'm going

467
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 1: to encourage it.

468
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 4: I don't.

469
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 1: I don't think I feel comfortable just being like, we'll

470
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 1: figure it out on your own. I definitely want to

471
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 1: at least encourage it and then allow her to figure

472
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 1: it out on her own. I always think, because she might,

473
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:54,880
Speaker 1: she'll probably make the decision she wants to make.

474
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 4: Anyway, you know, it's.

475
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 3: Making the camera shake. Sorry, sorry, I can't.

476
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 2: It's crazy because in high school, yeah, I knew I

477
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 2: didn't have a choice but to go to college. And

478
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 2: I remember having this conversation with like mine and my friends,

479
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 2: and she's like, I don't know if I.

480
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 3: Want to go, and I was thinking, like what a privilege.

481
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 2: I was like, it's different for me because I'm like

482
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 2: a black woman, and I think I have to be

483
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 2: like that much more prepared in the work field.

484
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 3: That was really you do that? It's true.

485
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 2: I had I felt like and I had been. It

486
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 2: even drilled in me, like that's what we're going to do.

487
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 2: There was no question if. Like and I know as

488
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 2: I go to a black school because both my parents

489
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 2: went to a HPCU, and really I was like, I

490
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 2: mean the fuck up out of here, like yep, first

491
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:38,720
Speaker 2: thing smoking, I'm out.

492
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 3: And I think for that meant for that in that

493
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 3: man like manner.

494
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 2: It was good for me because I got out on

495
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,119
Speaker 2: my own fee, you know, like I became independent and

496
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,440
Speaker 2: I was in a different city. And really why I

497
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,479
Speaker 2: stopped going to school is because I had to start working.

498
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,639
Speaker 2: And honestly, I had been in school. It was like

499
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 2: my was it my freshman year, second semester? Freshman year

500
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 2: or second year? Second semester? And I went to go

501
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 2: apply for the dance team and I had to get

502
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 2: transcripts and they're like it was April. They're like, you're

503
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 2: not financially enrolled this semester. I was like, what do

504
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 2: you mean, I've been going to class all semester.

505
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:18,640
Speaker 3: I live on campus.

506
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 2: They're like, you were never find your classes were dropped

507
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 2: in February. You were not financially enrolled. There's no transcript.

508
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 2: I was like How did not one teacher tell me

509
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 2: black schools? Not one teacher tell me I wasn't on

510
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 2: the like the roster.

511
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:33,919
Speaker 3: So I'm in shock.

512
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: I go on the hallway and I call my dad

513
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 2: and I'm like, please tell me you didn't pay my

514
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 2: twition and didn't tell me, And this nigga was like,

515
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 2: let me call you right back. I was like, this

516
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:53,639
Speaker 2: is not happening. This is not fucking happening. So I

517
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 2: just remember going back to my dorm and telling my homegirl.

518
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, I gotta get a job.

519
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 2: It was the next day we went out and literally,

520
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 2: like the first we went to like a couple of restaurants.

521
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,120
Speaker 2: Because I had dated a girl who worked at PF

522
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 2: Chanks and I knew she made a lot of money serving.

523
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,240
Speaker 3: I was like, I think we should try to be

524
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 3: servers like Chris. We went to Hula Hans. They hired

525
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 3: us on the spot.

526
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 2: I forgot to take a jacket. The day it was

527
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 2: real cold. We got off the train. This I was like,

528
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 2: the next nigga who pulls up on us. We're getting

529
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,520
Speaker 2: in the car, it's too cold. I'm not saying no anymore.

530
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 2: This crazy nigga pulled up on us.

531
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 3: He was like, yeah, I get in the car.

532
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 2: I was like, let's go. We got in the car

533
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 2: and shit smoked me. Anyway, the point is I didn't

534
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,639
Speaker 2: really like have a choice. So I was just like, oh, okay,

535
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 2: people are they're doing functionhit and I got I'm out

536
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 2: here now and I wasn't going home. And we got

537
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 2: a job and I started making money and I start

538
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,720
Speaker 2: working at the w and I was making bookoo dollars

539
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 2: and I was like class, who what Oh.

540
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,959
Speaker 4: So you weren't were you trying to pay your school

541
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 4: or you were just.

542
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,360
Speaker 3: Well that's I was like, you guys need to figure

543
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 3: it out.

544
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 2: I knew I wasn't gonna be like and that's another

545
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 2: thing looking back, like HBCUs are super expensive, and granted

546
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 2: I got that experience. I never took out any loans,

547
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 2: but I have friends who too got loans and completed

548
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,120
Speaker 2: but are paying it back, like thirteen hundred dollars loans.

549
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 3: A month, eight hundred dollars loans a month.

550
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 2: And I like, if you're going to finish school, I

551
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 2: think it's best to go to community college. If you're

552
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 2: right sure enough know you want to do do two

553
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 2: years and then transfer.

554
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:15,159
Speaker 3: I think there's what.

555
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 1: I feel like that would have been a lot more

556
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 1: like better for a lot more better for me, better

557
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 1: for me. I think moving to New York at seventeen

558
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 1: was so overwhelming for me. I was too immature to

559
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,959
Speaker 1: be like, first of all, living on my own and

560
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: in a different city, all these all this pressure suddenly like.

561
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 4: It was just it was too much.

562
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: I feel like there needs to be Like I think

563
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,159
Speaker 1: there needs to be like a year between college.

564
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 3: I don't know. It was the best time in my

565
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:41,360
Speaker 3: fucking life.

566
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you didn't finish.

567
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 1: No, I just mean, like, then that's what we're talking about,

568
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 1: Like she wants to finish college, Like if you have,

569
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 1: she's questioning if she should finish or not.

570
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 2: If you have, if you're halfway through, if you have

571
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 2: the discipline to do it, if you have the financial

572
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 2: means and you're there by all means to push through.

573
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,439
Speaker 3: However, if I feel like, do.

574
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: You what's your what do you want to do? Do

575
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 1: you have any idea? What are you gonna do if

576
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 1: you're not in college? Do you have some sort of plan?

577
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: Like Jamila's plan was she she did what she had

578
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: to do, She worked, and she paid her You paid

579
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 1: your shit off for me, like I got an opportunity

580
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 1: that was like I'm going to be making more money,

581
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be traveling, I'm gonna be assisting this person.

582
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 1: Fuck it, don't just drop out of college to do nothing,

583
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying, you know.

584
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 2: I mean because essentially, when I look back at I

585
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 2: like I worked, I'm waitress. But then I was like, Okay,

586
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,360
Speaker 2: I've had enough work experience to realize. I was working

587
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 2: at a hotel in a bar, and I saw people

588
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:36,439
Speaker 2: who had been there fifteen years, eighteen years now their

589
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 2: daughter was working there, and it was just a thing

590
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 2: like years and even when I went back, those people

591
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 2: are still working there, and I really, for me, I

592
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:45,399
Speaker 2: was like, well, I'm not going to be doing this forever.

593
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 3: I can't see that.

594
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 2: And so I came back to California, even though initially

595
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:51,719
Speaker 2: I felt like that was failing.

596
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,440
Speaker 3: I felt like I didn't want to come back with nothing.

597
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,359
Speaker 2: I had this emotional connection to this degree that I

598
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,360
Speaker 2: didn't really have a purpose for. And I came back

599
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,120
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm just what were you going

600
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,879
Speaker 2: to school for PR? Public relations? Which I guess this

601
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:08,679
Speaker 2: is very PR. You got my phone it's not an

602
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 2: airplane moment it is. I thought, oh.

603
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 4: That's my.

604
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 3: That's is it recording?

605
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 4: Can you check it and see if it still is sure?

606
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 1: Because sometimes when someone calls it like stops it.

607
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 5: Yeah.

608
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 3: Oh. I felt like I like, I don't know.

609
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 2: I had this thing like I don't like starting stuff

610
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 2: and not finishing it, and I don't like being defeated.

611
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 3: And I felt that's what I had done. But I

612
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 3: came back.

613
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 2: I went, I told myself when I was going to

614
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 2: learn lashes, I had a plan. I wanted to be mobile.

615
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 2: I knew didn't want to work for anyone. I didn't

616
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 2: want to tell anyone to talk to me, and that,

617
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 2: you know.

618
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 3: That's that created freedom to like really think about what

619
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 3: I want to do.

620
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 2: And I just had this thought the other day, which

621
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 2: is crazy, and I was like back there the time,

622
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 2: I would judge people who are like starving artists, like

623
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 2: I know people who are like so dedicated to their craft,

624
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 2: Like I'm like, bitchbo, don't you just get a job,

625
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 2: like you're you're tripping, like you're on somebody's couch. But now,

626
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 2: like honestly, right now, I can honestly I understand being

627
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 2: insanely passionate about some something that you have really no

628
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 2: desire to do anything else. And you know, like I

629
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: could get a cocktail job. I could like I have

630
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 2: experienced during other things. But I have to keep telling

631
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 2: myself is that being true to my purpose? And I

632
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 2: think we have these like dedicated ideas of what we're

633
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 2: supposed to do and what timeframe, and that's not really

634
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,720
Speaker 2: that doesn't always honor our true purpose.

635
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 4: That's true.

636
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: And sometimes you don't find your purpose at seventeen. A

637
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 1: lot you don't find you don't know what you want

638
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: to do at eighteen.

639
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 2: I mean, but lord, I wish I wish I did

640
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 2: have that have the freedom to explore it, because maybe

641
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 2: I would have found that much sooner. Like had I

642
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 2: not just thought one plus one equals too good a degree,

643
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 2: do this, then that then I would have if I

644
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 2: had the freedom to be like, Okay, we'll figure it out,

645
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 2: like try this, try that, what do you what are

646
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 2: your interest in?

647
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 3: Maybe we could have come upon this sooner and then.

648
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I don't feel like education has to end.

649
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: I think it's the way they frame college. It becomes

650
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 1: this like this is the end all be all You've

651
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: reach you've reached this is the moment you must decide,

652
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 1: who are you done.

653
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 3: For the rest of your life?

654
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 4: What happened?

655
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 3: I don't know, how did you do that?

656
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 4: Okay with.

657
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: I think there's one end it's about Yeah, I think

658
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 1: it's above the toilet, thank you.

659
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 4: Uh yeah.

660
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 1: But it's like that, it's like this big defining thing

661
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 1: that's supposed to define the rest the trajectory of the

662
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 1: rest of your life. Who you are, what, how you

663
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 1: make your money, how you define yourself?

664
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, so I don't know.

665
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 1: I feel like, I truly feel though, like you need

666
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: like a year off before you go into college. There

667
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 1: needs to be like a in between year that's still

668
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 1: educational but prepares you for I don't I don't even

669
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 1: know if there's an amount of time actually, because I

670
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 1: feel like it's taken me to reach my thirties to

671
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,959
Speaker 1: feel motivated to go back to school, to feel ready

672
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 1: and I'm not quite right, and to feel like I'm

673
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 1: like ready and to feel excited.

674
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 3: About it right, you know, fun.

675
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I don't want to overwhelm myself.

676
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: And that's the thing too, Like I control how much

677
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 1: I want to do, whereas in college you must.

678
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 4: Take minimal schedule, like I'm.

679
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: Gonna take two classes, We're gonna start there and that's it.

680
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 1: So but I definitely, how do you feel like you

681
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, We're we're at the age

682
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: now where we're starting to well, we're starting to invest

683
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: in time money into education for our children. And I

684
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 1: think for me that's why I also college felt like

685
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: I had to do it because my mom invested so

686
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 1: much into my education, the schools that I went to,

687
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 1: like the links she went to make sure we could

688
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: afford them, the NAT Prep. Yeah, like that, I felt

689
00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 1: like I had to, you know. So, and I'm kind

690
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: of already starting that with Ira. I have her in

691
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 1: a school that you know, is more expensive than the norm,

692
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 1: the norm school, it's not free. And now we're talking

693
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:33,440
Speaker 1: about kindergarten and they're talking about twenty three thousand dollars

694
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 1: for kindergarten or this school. It's like, oh, you can

695
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: go to send her to a magnet for free, or

696
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 1: you did this. This is great here, and this is

697
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 1: great there. And it's just so confusing and also ridiculous

698
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: because I'm like, is it worth investing that much in kindergarten?

699
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 1: And then some people say yeah, start now, get used

700
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: to it now, and then other people say, oh, you

701
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 1: can wait. But in all and all, I know that

702
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 1: I'm going to invest in her education and I'm going

703
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 1: to encourage her to go to college. I mean, if

704
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: she wants to take off a year or I don't know,

705
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:10,040
Speaker 1: like maybe I just have to, Like I wouldn't be

706
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 1: disappointed if she didn't, but I'm going to encourage her

707
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 1: to continue to educate herself, right, don't just stop, because

708
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 1: that's another thing. It's like it's like you either keep

709
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: going or you're just done learning, right, right, And it's like,

710
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 1: I think we can keep going and learning. It doesn't

711
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 1: happen to be in the form of a university. But

712
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: as long as we're keeping this going while you figure

713
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 1: it out and then maybe come back to figuring out

714
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 1: what you want to do, we're.

715
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 4: Getting a job doing or like okay, start a.

716
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 3: Bus experience, yeah, start a business. Then we are in

717
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 3: the era of entrepreneurship.

718
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 2: So I think that's that's where we're headed as a

719
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 2: like a people.

720
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,080
Speaker 3: But also it's.

721
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 2: It's kind of scary because I have like friends who

722
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 2: have younger cousins who are like in their twenty early

723
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 2: twenties and like they have like one friend that's like

724
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 2: a makeup blogger and they're you know, and it's like

725
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 2: almost a disillusion to like working hard and like the

726
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 2: reality of.

727
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 3: What successful is is.

728
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 2: Where they think you could just take pretty pictures and

729
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 2: then you're gonna make money. And I think that's also

730
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 2: like that's what I fear about this generation, Like they're

731
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,760
Speaker 2: not really understanding like before there was this pressure to

732
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 2: be successful in school and then go to college and

733
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 2: like actually have some backing to whatever you're trying like direction,

734
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:36,239
Speaker 2: But now there's like this misunderstood.

735
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,399
Speaker 1: Well, you have culture, you had to have credibility in whatever, right,

736
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 1: whatever your career path was. Gonna be your doctor, you

737
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 1: better have gone to med school. Like you want to

738
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: be a lawyer, you need to go to law school.

739
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:46,680
Speaker 1: You want to be in PR, you need to have

740
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 1: gone to either marketing or PR to become an expert

741
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 1: at that.

742
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 4: Right. How do you become an expert at social meeting R? Right?

743
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,160
Speaker 2: And I'm just thinking, like, oh, well, I have X

744
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 2: amount of followers, Oh I'm gonna go viral, And that's

745
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 2: not realistic, I don't think so. I think it's like

746
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 2: kinda also produces this like kind of can produce this delusional,

747
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 2: annoying customer service person that I seem to always fucking

748
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 2: get when I go.

749
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 3: Out and I'm like, who trained you?

750
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:13,959
Speaker 4: What are you talking about?

751
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 2: Like, I think the millennials, like, have you ever had

752
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 2: customers Okay, well.

753
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 3: I'm a elder millennial.

754
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 4: An elder millennial.

755
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 3: No, oh g oh, but I know you know what

756
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 3: I'm talking about.

757
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 2: Have you ever had like a really bad customer service

758
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:36,760
Speaker 2: experience with someone who's just not equipped to do customer

759
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 2: service because they're just young and dumb and on their phone.

760
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm like, who the fuck? Lets you get

761
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 3: a job?

762
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 2: And I'm glad do you have one? But like, I

763
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 2: think that's kind of the culture that's created. So that's

764
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,919
Speaker 2: my only thing that feels weary about, like telling kids

765
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 2: don't worry about going to college because now you just

766
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 2: have I don't know, theresein be like really smart or

767
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:58,280
Speaker 2: really dumb.

768
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 4: It's true because that do so do we answer her question?

769
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,839
Speaker 2: I think it's just about going within and not doing

770
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 2: anything for anyone else and actually having a plan. I

771
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 2: definitely think if you have a notion of what you

772
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 2: want to do and you think it could be successful,

773
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 2: then go that route because you don't want to waste

774
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 2: time doing things that are not really I.

775
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 1: Think you need to ask yourselves a few questions, like

776
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 1: why why is it that you don't want to go

777
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 1: to school? Is it because you want to focus on

778
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 1: something else? Do you maybe are your interests different? Do

779
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,760
Speaker 1: you want to take a year off to travel and explore?

780
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,920
Speaker 1: Can you, you know, can you afford to do that?

781
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 4: Like you know all these Can.

782
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 3: You maybe go to school and study abroad and do that?

783
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 1: Can you pick up a trade that will facilitate you know,

784
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 1: you figuring out?

785
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 4: Yeah? I think yeah, you be smart about it.

786
00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: Don't be brash, because honestly, college isn't going anywhere.

787
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 4: You can always go back to school, babe.

788
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:07,400
Speaker 1: Excuse me, Okay, my daughter's crawling across the table and

789
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 1: the camera.

790
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 3: Shut.

791
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 1: If you want to check out Iri, make sure to

792
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: join our Patreon Patreon dot com search Good Momsbad Choices

793
00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 1: dot com to watch this full episode.

794
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:23,879
Speaker 2: Also send up for our newsletters exclusive drops in the newsletters,

795
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 2: drop shops.

796
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: We haven't killed it on the newsletters We've been sending

797
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 1: oll not we Jamila sending a lot of newsletters.

798
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 4: She's on it. She's on Faya faya.

799
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 2: I think maybe you'll even include like a more detailed

800
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 2: thirty two and our dear diary, Diary of a goodness?

801
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,239
Speaker 4: Is that my homework? You're giving me homework right now? Great?

802
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 2: She hates something stiller, She has to commit the things

803
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:51,840
Speaker 2: that I said on the podcast.

804
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:55,120
Speaker 1: Okay, I know you always do this out loud and

805
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: then I'm like, now everyone's waiting for it, like our

806
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:00,160
Speaker 1: exclusive merch.

807
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 4: Time for hories. Oh stories, Oh do you have a

808
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,320
Speaker 4: do you have a horror to share? Are you sure?

809
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:23,800
Speaker 4: Are you positive?

810
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 2: Shy?

811
00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 4: Are you shy? You can't be shy? On good Moms?

812
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 4: Are you there eating my baby's candy?

813
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, baby, Okay, okay, I'm almost done five minutes.

814
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 3: What okay, I forgot?

815
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 4: What's about? Is it good?

816
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 3: I think it's good?

817
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 4: Okay, go ahead, I think.

818
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 3: Okay, okay.

819
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 2: So me and my new current boyfriend of three years

820
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 2: first started talking initially as we knew so now remember initially,

821
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,799
Speaker 2: as we knew some of the same people, and he'd

822
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 2: always tried to slide in the d what.

823
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,799
Speaker 1: So me and my now, oh they knew okay, they

824
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: knew okay, they had mutual friends.

825
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 3: He was sliding in the DMS.

826
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 2: He isn't my usual type white loud, but we'd always

827
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 2: send music back and forth, and his music history knowledge

828
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 2: of every genre is fire, which is huge to me.

829
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 3: So I agreed to meet him one day.

830
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 2: Me too, So I agreed to meet him one day

831
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,240
Speaker 2: when I was at the beach and he was nearby.

832
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 2: He smoked a few joints together, and he was honestly

833
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 2: one of the funniest, non judgmental, very important, later most

834
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 2: open minded, and kindest people I'd ever met. So I

835
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,439
Speaker 2: was open to us going on a proper date, which

836
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 2: he kept suggesting throughout. Plus he was a really cool

837
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 2: style and a super confident very important. So anyway, the

838
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 2: day of the first proper date rolls around and we

839
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 2: meet at this pub bar over the water on an

840
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 2: early summer evening, and it was lovely. For some reason,

841
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 2: when I drink sometimes I can't get on a level,

842
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 2: so I either can't get drunk, or the same amount

843
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 2: of drinks sends me under and I'm blackout drunk.

844
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,320
Speaker 3: So either she can't get drunk or she's blackout drunk.

845
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,840
Speaker 2: It's weird, though, because my blackout drunk doesn't always seem it,

846
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,800
Speaker 2: and my friends don't always pick up on it at first. Also,

847
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 2: I could be really wild, which is obviously heightened by drinking.

848
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 2: I think I suggest shots, and I'm drinking a lot.

849
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 2: So when it comes to the time, the place is

850
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 2: shedding around when I am, I suggest he comes back

851
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 2: to mine. I was temporarily living at my parents and

852
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 2: where my old school Jamaican grandma also lives. Okay, Also,

853
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 2: he was really not sure in questioning my home situation,

854
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 2: but I was very dismissive, and he was questioning it. Yeah,

855
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 2: like why are we going to your house? Like any

856
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 2: nigger should be. I was very dismissive and like, it's fine,

857
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 2: come on. So he cautiously calls a cab, which we

858
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 2: get into, and then suddenly I cannot remember my address

859
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 2: at all or where I live, and we're both blackout

860
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 2: drunk at this point, so we drive around for ages.

861
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 2: I totally confuse. I'm totally confused, but the night had

862
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 2: been amazing, so we're all over each other. I have

863
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 2: no idea how, but we finally reached mine and go

864
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:11,359
Speaker 2: in the backway to the kitchen where my grandma likes

865
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,600
Speaker 2: to vibe with a little drink and watch most TV

866
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:17,840
Speaker 2: most evenings. She's super extrover and my parents, how in,

867
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,720
Speaker 2: my parents' house is a bit of a party house,

868
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 2: as it's quite big, with me and my younger row

869
00:41:22,440 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 2: historically always bringing friends back after a night out.

870
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:26,800
Speaker 3: My family.

871
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 2: My fam are all super fun and chill, but my

872
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,720
Speaker 2: grandma's pretty suspicious but polite.

873
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 3: About me and this guy quizzing us.

874
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 2: But I'm playing it down a lot in my drink

875
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 2: and dumbness, thinking I'm slick. Anyway, My now partner is

876
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 2: silently like what the fuck, as I'd not really warned him,

877
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 2: but I kept whispering and that it's cool, And after

878
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,799
Speaker 2: chatting with Grandma for a while, we sneak upstairs to

879
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,840
Speaker 2: go chill as my friend needs to stay.

880
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,520
Speaker 3: I'm twenty six at this point, these.

881
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 4: Little gems partner twenty.

882
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 2: Six anyway, I charge upstairs and starting out reggae, to

883
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:03,879
Speaker 2: which my stepdad, who has no idea what's happening show,

884
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 2: shouts to turn the fuck off. This super guy's mortified

885
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:09,839
Speaker 2: at this point, but as cool as I thought I was,

886
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 2: I reassure him that it's fine, turn the music down

887
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 2: a bit, and literally take off all my clothes now

888
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:16,760
Speaker 2: as a personal assurance.

889
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 3: I didn't shave before this date.

890
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 2: And not being in a relationship for about a year,

891
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 2: and also with it being the first few warm weeks

892
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 2: of the year, it was wild down there. Another thing

893
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 2: I was I saw no need to shave as I

894
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 2: was heavily like day one on my period, so sex

895
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 2: wasn't even on my mind for this date. Listen, I'm

896
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 2: all for period sucks, but the way I just sprung

897
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 2: myself and my wild bush on my period on the

898
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 2: sky with no warning was just a lot. He was down, obviously,

899
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 2: but after a few strokes, he's like, what the fuck,

900
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 2: there's blood everywhere, and I'm just like, sh don't worry,

901
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:57,319
Speaker 2: don't worry about that. Have you have you never been

902
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 2: with the real woman before?

903
00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 4: Oh god?

904
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 3: She's like, oh my god, laugh all out girl, time

905
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 3: of bitch. She said, what the fuck? I know?

906
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 2: I really think I'm some natural earth Erica Badu Impress.

907
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 2: That night, my attitude was like, you are lucky to

908
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 2: be with this real woman who happens to be.

909
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 3: On her period.

910
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 4: Bitch.

911
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 3: Alcohol.

912
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 2: Anyway, He's pretty caught off guard, but I guess respects

913
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, and we continue to have.

914
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 3: Sex and eventually fall asleep.

915
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 2: The next God yes, the next day, he wakes up

916
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 2: late for work as you I and I can only

917
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:37,400
Speaker 2: vaguely remember snippets of the night, each part absolutely crippling

918
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 2: me to think about and not really wanting to know

919
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,919
Speaker 2: or think about my rampage. He's really sweet and cool

920
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 2: and calls a cab, but promises to call me later.

921
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 2: The way the shame was playing out in my head,

922
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 2: I was just thinking this all needs to be put

923
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 2: to the back of my mind and never brought up again.

924
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 2: Annoying that it's with someone that I gel with is

925
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 2: the shame, the blood I guess, just everything I gel

926
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,239
Speaker 2: it's so perfectly, but I genuinely can't face this when

927
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 2: I'd been so cool and together around him all.

928
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 3: The way up to that point.

929
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 2: But of course I had my whole family to face

930
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 2: up to, who had been waiting for me the next day.

931
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 2: She's probably loud, I know, the way I had to

932
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:14,959
Speaker 2: apologize and play it all down.

933
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 3: I wanted to die.

934
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,880
Speaker 2: I ignored his text too all day, but he just

935
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 2: found it hilarious and cute and persisted with me till

936
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,759
Speaker 2: I stopped being proud and text him back. And now

937
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 2: here we are for so long though he was not

938
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 2: allowed to bring that night up. I forgot to mention

939
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 2: when we wake up naive to the whole night. There

940
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 2: is blood everywhere everywhere, as though there's been a massacre,

941
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 2: as if waking up naked in bed together after a

942
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,399
Speaker 2: first date, trying to be polite and piece together that

943
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 2: you know you were wild as you were wild at

944
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 2: isn't already awkward enough in a normal situation.

945
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:47,280
Speaker 3: I just had to get out.

946
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:52,319
Speaker 4: Woful.

947
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, basically, it's like my lipstick story, but period blood.

948
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 3: Everywhere with your grandma little brother.

949
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 4: But her parents probably were used to that ship, right.

950
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 4: I don't want to know. I don't I don't know.

951
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 4: I don't want to hear how we have sex.

952
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 3: I'm cool, I'm cool. Mortified.

953
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 4: Yeah no, don't bring a niggas back to the house.

954
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 4: I'm cool.

955
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 1: Get your own house. Go get your own house. I

956
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 1: don't like, I don't care what you do. Just don't

957
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 1: do it here.

958
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 4: Unless we're on a family vacation and they have no

959
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 4: other choice.

960
00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 2: I mean, just keep it, keep it cute, keep it cute,

961
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 2: just keep it.

962
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 4: Keep the cute. Oh man, All right, well, thanks for

963
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:47,200
Speaker 4: tuning in.

964
00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 3: Guys, catch you next week.

965
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:52,720
Speaker 2: Follow us on Instagram, Good Mom's Underscore, Bad Choices.

966
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:57,879
Speaker 1: Make sure you subscribe to our newsletter and check out

967
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,760
Speaker 1: our week monthly events Good Moms by choices dot com.

968
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 1: You can watch this full episode at Patreon.

969
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 4: You know you want to watch us talk our shit,

970
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 4: not just listen to us.

971
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 1: Smoke smoke one with us?

972
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 5: Is that it?

973
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:15,879
Speaker 4: Yeah?

974
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, catulating, bye.

975
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:21,399
Speaker 6: Bye snoop dog closed. Then that's what I'm groomed. Then

976
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:23,439
Speaker 6: you got my pictures on the wall and your room

977
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:24,760
Speaker 6: and girls be complaining.

978
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 5: You keep me booming, But.

979
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 6: Girls like that want to listen the pathoon use a

980
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 6: college girl, but that'll stop you from doing. And come

981
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:32,919
Speaker 6: and see the dog get in the hood near you.

982
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 6: You don't ask why world? What a crew win? Twist

983
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 6: up my fingers and wear a dog door went on

984
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:38,880
Speaker 6: the east side.

985
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 4: That's the wool.

986
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 6: Watch you. Nothing I do with new to you. I

987
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 6: smack up the water if they.

988
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 5: Roll to you.

989
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 6: This baby girl, you're so beautiful.