WEBVTT - Stephanie Langlitz | Betrayal Weekly

0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:04.120
<v Speaker 1>Hi, everyone, it's Andrea. Before we start this episode, I

0:00:04.160 --> 0:00:06.160
<v Speaker 1>want to let you know that we will be talking

0:00:06.320 --> 0:00:10.600
<v Speaker 1>explicitly about the realities of child sexual abuse, so please

0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:13.200
<v Speaker 1>be mindful with this episode.

0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:20.320
<v Speaker 2>I remember everything that man, for so long had so

0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:25.200
<v Speaker 2>much control over me. I cannot just stand by and

0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:28.880
<v Speaker 2>do nothing. You will not get away with this.

0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:46.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, a show about

0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:49.599
<v Speaker 1>the people we trust the most and the deceptions that

0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:57.880
<v Speaker 1>change everything. Today we are sharing Stephanie's story. Stephanie grew

0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:00.880
<v Speaker 1>up in upstate New York, near Albany with her parents

0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:01.720
<v Speaker 1>and siblings.

0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:06.720
<v Speaker 2>My parents had a very tumultuous relationship. I don't think

0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:11.000
<v Speaker 2>I coped with the chaos well. I spent a lot

0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:12.039
<v Speaker 2>of time in my room.

0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:16.120
<v Speaker 1>In her room, it was quiet, looking out her window

0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:19.280
<v Speaker 1>at the woods of upstate New York. Stephanie dreamed of

0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:22.800
<v Speaker 1>a sunny and bright, faraway place, Los Angeles.

0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:26.480
<v Speaker 2>I just had this obsession with the glitz and the

0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:30.560
<v Speaker 2>glamour and how exciting it was, and especially for a

0:01:30.600 --> 0:01:32.680
<v Speaker 2>little girl in upstate New York, where it snows and

0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:36.560
<v Speaker 2>its gray and its gross. LA always just had this

0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:39.880
<v Speaker 2>sunshine to it and always looked like it would be

0:01:39.920 --> 0:01:40.919
<v Speaker 2>a very happy place.

0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:44.480
<v Speaker 1>She hoped she could live there one day. As Stephanie

0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:48.520
<v Speaker 1>got older, her parents started arguing more and more. Home

0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:52.160
<v Speaker 1>was an exhausting place to be. Her parents split up

0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:53.720
<v Speaker 1>and got back together often.

0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:59.080
<v Speaker 2>That coincided with really difficult middle school years. Friends would

0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.200
<v Speaker 2>come and go, and it was really difficult dealing with

0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:03.720
<v Speaker 2>that in tandem with things that were going on with

0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:04.240
<v Speaker 2>my parents.

0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:09.760
<v Speaker 1>When Stephanie was in seventh grade, her parents announced that

0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:13.800
<v Speaker 1>their family would be moving across the country to Tucson, Arizona.

0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:19.160
<v Speaker 2>I absolutely did not want to move to Arizona. I

0:02:19.280 --> 0:02:22.880
<v Speaker 2>was quite literally kicking and screaming, you can't even stay

0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:26.280
<v Speaker 2>together for a year. Why the hell are we moving

0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:27.160
<v Speaker 2>across the country.

0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:31.799
<v Speaker 1>But Tucson did have one major perk. It was closer

0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:32.600
<v Speaker 1>to la.

0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:36.519
<v Speaker 2>They're like, look, we can drive from Tucson Hollywood anytime

0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:39.760
<v Speaker 2>you want. If you stop, we'll take you to Hollywood

0:02:39.919 --> 0:02:42.519
<v Speaker 2>on a trip. So that kind of softened the blow

0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:43.079
<v Speaker 2>a little bit.

0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:46.600
<v Speaker 1>But when she arrived at her new middle school, she

0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:50.120
<v Speaker 1>struggled to make friends. The girls in her grade were

0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:50.800
<v Speaker 1>not welcoming.

0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:54.960
<v Speaker 2>Girls are just mean. If anyone has been a middle

0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:57.799
<v Speaker 2>school girl. You know that they can be very unkind.

0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:01.600
<v Speaker 1>She spent most of her time at school alone, and

0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.400
<v Speaker 1>life at home was not much of a comfort. Her

0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:06.959
<v Speaker 1>parents were still arguing all the time.

0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:08.639
<v Speaker 3>It was lonely.

0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:12.520
<v Speaker 2>When I was in eighth grade, I started drinking and

0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:15.560
<v Speaker 2>smoking weed and started hanging out with girls that were

0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:18.359
<v Speaker 2>a little bit older than I was. And that whole

0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:21.400
<v Speaker 2>summer in between eighth grade and ninth grade was just

0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:23.200
<v Speaker 2>a lot of drinking in the desert.

0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:28.720
<v Speaker 1>The desert stretched fast and shapeless around her. She couldn't

0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:31.760
<v Speaker 1>figure out where she belonged in this landscape.

0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:38.400
<v Speaker 2>There were signs that I was unraveling. I had withdrawn

0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:39.240
<v Speaker 2>a lot.

0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie's mom noticed a change in her and was concerned,

0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:45.600
<v Speaker 1>so she took her to see a doctor.

0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:50.160
<v Speaker 2>I remember being hunched over, looking down, and I remember thinking,

0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:52.240
<v Speaker 2>this is how he's going to know that I'm depressed,

0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:56.680
<v Speaker 2>because I can't even sit up straight. That's when I

0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:58.600
<v Speaker 2>was diagnosed with depression.

0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:01.559
<v Speaker 3>Described her antidepressants.

0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:06.120
<v Speaker 1>Just a few weeks later, Stephanie started her freshman year

0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:06.800
<v Speaker 1>of high school.

0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:11.000
<v Speaker 2>I went into my freshman year very much alone, feeling

0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:16.080
<v Speaker 2>very much isolated, very much broken. I felt like I

0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:19.960
<v Speaker 2>didn't really have anybody. On the first day.

0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:23.480
<v Speaker 1>Of school, Stephanie went from class to class, meeting her

0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:25.040
<v Speaker 1>teachers and new classmates.

0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:30.039
<v Speaker 2>I go into my Spanish class and the teacher, Mark

0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:35.159
<v Speaker 2>Lindrew is standing there. It was very evident right away

0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:39.360
<v Speaker 2>that he was trying to come off as that young, cool,

0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:42.679
<v Speaker 2>hip teacher, like I want to relate to you guys.

0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.880
<v Speaker 3>While his life sounded exotic.

0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:48.080
<v Speaker 2>He would say I went to Spain and I ran

0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:48.880
<v Speaker 2>with the bulls.

0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:50.680
<v Speaker 3>He was still relatable.

0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.480
<v Speaker 2>He was very into sports. He was one of the

0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.880
<v Speaker 2>JV coaches on the football team and loved Star Wars.

0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:00.400
<v Speaker 2>He used to teach in La, so that parked years

0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:03.040
<v Speaker 2>of Oh cool, like this teacher used to live in La,

0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:04.520
<v Speaker 2>Like awesome, I love La.

0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:08.520
<v Speaker 1>Some kids thought mister Lyndrud was kind of cheesy, but

0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:11.839
<v Speaker 1>he always made class fun. And he was only twenty

0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:12.920
<v Speaker 1>six years old.

0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:15.039
<v Speaker 2>And so I'm like, okay, he's not that much older

0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:17.400
<v Speaker 2>with us. He is kind of the young hip teacher.

0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:22.120
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie's high school had a period in the mornings before

0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:24.240
<v Speaker 1>classes started called zero hour.

0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.400
<v Speaker 2>If you needed to do homework or you needed extra help,

0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:30.120
<v Speaker 2>you could go in. At that point, I didn't really

0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:33.359
<v Speaker 2>want to be home at all, So I started going

0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:34.840
<v Speaker 2>to the zero hour.

0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:39.000
<v Speaker 1>One day, during zero Hour, Stephanie was walking through the

0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:41.599
<v Speaker 1>hallways trying to find a place to do her homework.

0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:45.800
<v Speaker 2>I walked by mister Lyndrud's room and there was no

0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:49.240
<v Speaker 2>one in there, or maybe one or two people, and

0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:51.760
<v Speaker 2>I said, Okay, this looks like a safe place for

0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:52.520
<v Speaker 2>me to go to.

0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:55.919
<v Speaker 3>She stepped into his classroom.

0:05:56.400 --> 0:06:02.120
<v Speaker 2>His room felt safe because it was quiet. There wasn't arguing,

0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:03.400
<v Speaker 2>there weren't people yelling.

0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:07.520
<v Speaker 1>She sat down and did her homework. The next day

0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:11.039
<v Speaker 1>she came back to his classroom in the morning. Mister

0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:12.880
<v Speaker 1>Lyndrud was always welcoming.

0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:16.479
<v Speaker 2>It was just sometimes me and him, sometimes other people.

0:06:17.240 --> 0:06:20.760
<v Speaker 1>Soon she was going to mister Lyndrud's room during zero

0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:24.320
<v Speaker 1>hour most days. There she didn't have to worry about

0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:27.960
<v Speaker 1>the mean girls in her grade or her parents' arguments.

0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:31.240
<v Speaker 2>I'd had so many friends at different schools hurt me,

0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:34.400
<v Speaker 2>and I really didn't trust other students.

0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:38.320
<v Speaker 1>Mister Lyndrud was easier to talk to. He asked her

0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:42.320
<v Speaker 1>lots of questions and seemed genuinely interested in her life.

0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:44.680
<v Speaker 2>Where are you're from? How long have you lived here,

0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:48.279
<v Speaker 2>and then he started opening up a little bit about

0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:53.080
<v Speaker 2>I came from Texas, I have an ex fiancee. He

0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:57.480
<v Speaker 2>trusted me with personal information, and it filled this void

0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:00.440
<v Speaker 2>that I wasn't feeling with friends or with my family.

0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:04.520
<v Speaker 2>He was really the only person who would sit down

0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.320
<v Speaker 2>and listen to me and hear me, and I just

0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:09.280
<v Speaker 2>didn't have anyone else like that in my life at

0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:09.720
<v Speaker 2>that time.

0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:14.840
<v Speaker 1>One day, Stephanie asked to use his computer for a

0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:16.440
<v Speaker 1>homework assignment, and.

0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:19.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm on his computer and he had his AOL instant

0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:23.640
<v Speaker 2>Messenger up, and that, in a way almost added to

0:07:23.760 --> 0:07:28.840
<v Speaker 2>him being that cool, relatable teacher because it's like, Oh,

0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:33.000
<v Speaker 2>we're on instant Messenger as students. Oh you're on instant Messenger.

0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:34.240
<v Speaker 2>That's cool.

0:07:34.880 --> 0:07:37.760
<v Speaker 1>A message popped up from a woman named Amanda.

0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:40.320
<v Speaker 2>He's like, Oh, that's just my friend Amanda from LA.

0:07:40.800 --> 0:07:43.320
<v Speaker 2>Just tell her you know, you're student using my computer.

0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:46.320
<v Speaker 2>And then another one popped up and he's like, Oh,

0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:49.440
<v Speaker 2>that's my ex girlfriend. Just tell her am busy or

0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:52.240
<v Speaker 2>that you're a student or whatever. I'm thinking, Oh, he

0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:55.080
<v Speaker 2>trusts me to respond to all of these people in

0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:56.040
<v Speaker 2>his life.

0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:59.240
<v Speaker 1>And Stephanie was starting to trust him too.

0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:02.680
<v Speaker 2>It became sort of a friendship, and it started to

0:08:02.720 --> 0:08:04.960
<v Speaker 2>feel like a very safe place for me to be

0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:05.680
<v Speaker 2>in his room.

0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:09.800
<v Speaker 1>Eventually, mister Lyndrud told her that she could ditch the

0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:13.600
<v Speaker 1>formal way of addressing him, so he stopped being mister Lyndrude,

0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:17.040
<v Speaker 1>her Spanish teacher and became Mark, her friend.

0:08:18.000 --> 0:08:21.320
<v Speaker 2>There was one day that I had left school and

0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:24.640
<v Speaker 2>I had a question about my Spanish homework, and because

0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:28.200
<v Speaker 2>I had been responding through his aim to people, obviously

0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:29.560
<v Speaker 2>I knew what his screen name was.

0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:32.880
<v Speaker 1>So she sent him a message on AIM asking how

0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:34.959
<v Speaker 1>to conjugate a verb in Spanish.

0:08:35.400 --> 0:08:37.040
<v Speaker 3>Mark responded, he was.

0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:39.160
<v Speaker 2>Very professional and he explained it to me, and I

0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:42.400
<v Speaker 2>apologized sorry reaching out to you here. I just wanted

0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:44.360
<v Speaker 2>to make sure I got the homework done and he

0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:45.200
<v Speaker 2>said it's okay.

0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:50.240
<v Speaker 1>Soon, Stephanie started messaging Mark with homework questions. More often

0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:53.560
<v Speaker 1>he would help her, and then their messages moved to

0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:54.439
<v Speaker 1>other topics.

0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:57.400
<v Speaker 2>He would say what are you doing, or what are

0:08:57.400 --> 0:08:59.800
<v Speaker 2>you up to or what are your plans this week?

0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:02.280
<v Speaker 2>And he made me feel like I could just talk

0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:04.040
<v Speaker 2>to him about anything that was going on in my

0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:07.680
<v Speaker 2>life and that I could trust him. There was part

0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:10.120
<v Speaker 2>of me that kept thinking like, is this weird? Is

0:09:10.160 --> 0:09:13.840
<v Speaker 2>this appropriate? Like should we be having this conversation? But

0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:16.839
<v Speaker 2>also he is just being nice and friendly and maybe

0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:19.360
<v Speaker 2>he does recognize that I just need a friend.

0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:24.000
<v Speaker 1>If he was offering friendship, she would take it, even

0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:27.360
<v Speaker 1>if it was a little unusual. Then one day, a

0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:31.280
<v Speaker 1>few weeks later, Mark suggested that they hang out outside

0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:31.800
<v Speaker 1>of school.

0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:37.880
<v Speaker 2>He asked me, is there a park by your house?

0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:40.640
<v Speaker 2>Is there anywhere we could meet? And I happened to

0:09:40.679 --> 0:09:43.560
<v Speaker 2>live across the street from this giant park.

0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:46.520
<v Speaker 1>He told her to meet him there on Friday night.

0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:50.800
<v Speaker 1>When Friday night came, Stephanie told her parents she was

0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:53.400
<v Speaker 1>meeting a friend and started walking to the park.

0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:57.920
<v Speaker 2>This is when I started to feel nervous. What are

0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:01.880
<v Speaker 2>we meeting at the park? For fifty percent of me

0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:04.959
<v Speaker 2>thought it was weird, But fifty percent of me also said, well,

0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:07.520
<v Speaker 2>this feels safe because he's meeting me in a very

0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:10.480
<v Speaker 2>public place. All my neighbors are there, a lot of

0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:12.800
<v Speaker 2>people from our school are going to be there, so

0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:16.000
<v Speaker 2>this must be okay because it's a very, very public park.

0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:20.600
<v Speaker 2>He made me feel like we were friends at that point,

0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:22.960
<v Speaker 2>and I really didn't have anyone else to hang out with,

0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:24.360
<v Speaker 2>especially on a Friday night.

0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:28.199
<v Speaker 1>When she got to the park, a green ASUV pulled

0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:31.040
<v Speaker 1>into the parking lot and Mark stepped out.

0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:33.640
<v Speaker 3>He looked different than he did at school.

0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:37.240
<v Speaker 2>He had a hat on. He has this very distinct

0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:39.720
<v Speaker 2>bald head, so I remember thinking, Okay, that's kind of

0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:42.960
<v Speaker 2>a disguise, so maybe this isn't okay that we're meeting up,

0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:48.440
<v Speaker 2>and I started to feel really uneasy. He starts walking

0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:52.760
<v Speaker 2>toward me very aggressively, and he just picks me up

0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:57.440
<v Speaker 2>and kisses me, and I just froze. It never occurred

0:10:57.440 --> 0:10:59.520
<v Speaker 2>to me that that's what was going to happen.

0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:04.559
<v Speaker 1>As a fourteen year old, Stephanie was overwhelmed and confused.

0:11:05.640 --> 0:11:08.280
<v Speaker 2>I didn't know what to do. My brain couldn't process

0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:09.079
<v Speaker 2>what was happening.

0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:13.800
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie walked home from the park that night, desperately trying

0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:17.440
<v Speaker 1>to make sense of this. Mark was her teacher and

0:11:17.520 --> 0:11:18.720
<v Speaker 1>she thought he was her friend.

0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:23.720
<v Speaker 2>What just happened to risk being in this park, to

0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:27.360
<v Speaker 2>risk his teaching, And I'm like, he must really like

0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:29.640
<v Speaker 2>me to be willing to do that.

0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:34.960
<v Speaker 1>After that night, Mark began messaging Stephanie more and more

0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:39.000
<v Speaker 1>and then he started driving over to her house and

0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:41.320
<v Speaker 1>parking his car outside on the street.

0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:44.400
<v Speaker 2>It would be later at night, and so I would

0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:46.520
<v Speaker 2>just go outside and sit in his car with him.

0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.640
<v Speaker 2>He would have me in the backseat and make out,

0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:51.400
<v Speaker 2>and then I would have to go to school the

0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:53.280
<v Speaker 2>next week like nothing had ever happened.

0:11:54.040 --> 0:11:55.240
<v Speaker 3>It was disorienting.

0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:57.400
<v Speaker 2>He's coming over to make out with me. He's also

0:11:57.400 --> 0:11:59.480
<v Speaker 2>my teacher when I'm sitting in his class and nobody

0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:01.840
<v Speaker 2>knows and was It's a very very confusing spot to

0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:07.480
<v Speaker 2>be in, feeling uncomfortable, but just feeling like someone cared,

0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:10.400
<v Speaker 2>that someone cared about me enough to listen to me

0:12:10.440 --> 0:12:11.800
<v Speaker 2>and want to be around me.

0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:14.240
<v Speaker 3>Mark was grooming her.

0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Grooming is a term used to describe the process perpetrators

0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:22.280
<v Speaker 1>use to control their victims. They start by gaining their

0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:27.480
<v Speaker 1>victims trust, then isolating them from their community, labeling their

0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:31.480
<v Speaker 1>own abuse as a shared secret, and finally controlling and

0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:33.840
<v Speaker 1>coercing their victim into staying silent.

0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:36.760
<v Speaker 2>He started telling me, you can never say a word

0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:39.560
<v Speaker 2>to anybody. You can never say anything because it's my

0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:42.880
<v Speaker 2>dream to be a big football coach, and if you

0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:46.439
<v Speaker 2>tell anyone, my dream is ruined. My life is ruined.

0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:49.520
<v Speaker 2>I will be blacklisted in everything that I want to

0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:52.800
<v Speaker 2>do if you tell anyone? And what are people going

0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:55.600
<v Speaker 2>to say about you if they know this is happening.

0:12:57.080 --> 0:12:59.840
<v Speaker 3>Stephanie did what he asked. She didn't tell.

0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:05.520
<v Speaker 2>Any I couldn't process what was actually happening.

0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:07.560
<v Speaker 3>So Mark processed it for her.

0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:12.000
<v Speaker 2>He told her, now we've taken this relationship a little

0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.800
<v Speaker 2>bit of a step further, and we trust each other

0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:18.040
<v Speaker 2>more to do this. In a weird way, I think

0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:23.000
<v Speaker 2>this secrecy made me feel like we had this special,

0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:25.199
<v Speaker 2>trusting relationship.

0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:29.480
<v Speaker 1>But keeping the secret meant Mark quickly became the only

0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:32.760
<v Speaker 1>person she could talk to. She couldn't talk to anyone

0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:36.559
<v Speaker 1>else about what was really happening, so Mark became Stephanie's

0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:39.800
<v Speaker 1>closest connection and her only one.

0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:42.600
<v Speaker 2>I went into the school year isolated, and now I'm

0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:46.400
<v Speaker 2>even more isolated because I can't tell anyone what's going on.

0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:49.440
<v Speaker 2>I can't tell everyone who I'm hanging out with at night.

0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:54.880
<v Speaker 2>I was rewarded for my silence with attention, with the

0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:56.800
<v Speaker 2>attention that I wasn't getting anywhere else.

0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:01.840
<v Speaker 1>In early January, Stephanie went to Mark's house to watch

0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:05.679
<v Speaker 1>a football game that was the first night he raped her,

0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:07.240
<v Speaker 1>I was.

0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:12.280
<v Speaker 2>Just very confused. I think I froze. I couldn't make

0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:16.480
<v Speaker 2>sense of it happening. And then as soon as he

0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:20.560
<v Speaker 2>was done and was like getting dressed, he said, I

0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:22.600
<v Speaker 2>guess this makes you my girlfriend now.

0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:29.560
<v Speaker 1>Every time Stephanie was uncomfortable or confused or frozen, Mark

0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:30.280
<v Speaker 1>jumped in.

0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:34.120
<v Speaker 3>To explain her own feelings to her. He told her,

0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:36.240
<v Speaker 3>this is what trust felt like.

0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:39.720
<v Speaker 2>Maybe he does really care about me and love me

0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:44.880
<v Speaker 2>because he was risking everything and he was risking that

0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:46.000
<v Speaker 2>for me.

0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:50.320
<v Speaker 3>Mark told Stephanie he was in love with her.

0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:55.680
<v Speaker 2>He made it seem like it was an actual relationship.

0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:59.760
<v Speaker 2>For Valentine's Day, he took me to the drive in

0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:02.480
<v Speaker 2>and we saw how to lose a guy in ten days.

0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:03.560
<v Speaker 2>I'll never forget.

0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:08.000
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie saved the ticket stub. She put it in a

0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:13.360
<v Speaker 1>box with other mementos from her time with Mark. Mark

0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:17.080
<v Speaker 1>started inviting Stephanie over to his house. She told her

0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:19.880
<v Speaker 1>parents she was at a friends and when she was

0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:22.600
<v Speaker 1>over at Mark's house, he told her it was only

0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:25.200
<v Speaker 1>fair for her to pitch in with household chores.

0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:30.720
<v Speaker 2>It wasn't uncommon for me to clean his house in fact,

0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:33.440
<v Speaker 2>it was an expectation he would have me fold his

0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:35.480
<v Speaker 2>shirts a very specific way.

0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.640
<v Speaker 1>He explained to Stephanie that this is what being in

0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:39.960
<v Speaker 1>a relationship was like.

0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:41.560
<v Speaker 3>She believed him.

0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:46.320
<v Speaker 2>As he was getting closer to me and making me

0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:50.240
<v Speaker 2>feel special, he started somewhat flirting with this other girl

0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:53.280
<v Speaker 2>that I was friends with, and I started to feel

0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:56.160
<v Speaker 2>jealous because I'm like, oh, I'm losing his attention.

0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:01.040
<v Speaker 1>One day, that girl mentioned something about co which is

0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:04.480
<v Speaker 1>what a lot of students called Mark. Hearing her talk

0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:08.320
<v Speaker 1>about Mark, Stephanie couldn't keep their secret in any longer.

0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:11.520
<v Speaker 2>I just snapped and I was like, Coach is the

0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:15.040
<v Speaker 2>one who's been texting me. We're like hanging out, and

0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:16.600
<v Speaker 2>she just went silent.

0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:21.200
<v Speaker 1>A few days later, Stephanie was at school when she

0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:23.160
<v Speaker 1>was asked to see the guidance counselor.

0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:28.960
<v Speaker 2>He looked at me and he said, are you having

0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:35.640
<v Speaker 2>a relationship with mister Lyndrud? And I said no. I

0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:39.280
<v Speaker 2>denied it because he had put the fear of God

0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:42.440
<v Speaker 2>in me that if I told anyone my life was over,

0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:45.160
<v Speaker 2>let alone my life his life. So of course I

0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:47.600
<v Speaker 2>was going to be silent because I didn't want to

0:16:47.600 --> 0:17:12.160
<v Speaker 2>be the person who crushed his dreams and ruined his life.

0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:15.520
<v Speaker 1>After Stephanie told a classmate that she was hanging out

0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:19.160
<v Speaker 1>with their Spanish teacher, the guidance counselor called Stephanie into

0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:23.160
<v Speaker 1>his office. He asked her if anything inappropriate was going

0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:26.359
<v Speaker 1>on with mister Lyndrud. Stephanie denied it.

0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:29.480
<v Speaker 2>Of course, I was going to be silent because I

0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:32.440
<v Speaker 2>didn't want to be the person who crushed his dreams

0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:34.000
<v Speaker 2>and ruined his life.

0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:37.600
<v Speaker 1>School administrators questioned mister Lyndrude as well.

0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:41.159
<v Speaker 2>He said nothing happened. The school was like, well, they

0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:44.200
<v Speaker 2>say nothing's going on, and they didn't do any investigation.

0:17:44.880 --> 0:17:46.320
<v Speaker 2>There's nothing further.

0:17:46.960 --> 0:17:50.000
<v Speaker 1>But rumors had already started spreading through the school.

0:17:50.640 --> 0:17:53.960
<v Speaker 3>As a heads up. These comments are cruel and hard

0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:54.280
<v Speaker 3>to hear.

0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:58.880
<v Speaker 2>People were calling me teacher fucker, and people were like, oh,

0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:02.760
<v Speaker 2>I saw her under his desk, and that just further

0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:07.960
<v Speaker 2>isolated me more and more. I already didn't have friends,

0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.720
<v Speaker 2>and now I'm being labeled a slut a whore.

0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:12.520
<v Speaker 3>She was shamed.

0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:16.119
<v Speaker 1>The few people she was friendly with at school started

0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:17.360
<v Speaker 1>avoiding eye contact.

0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:19.440
<v Speaker 3>When she walked down the hallway.

0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.480
<v Speaker 1>She could hear the girls in her grade, whispering about

0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:26.600
<v Speaker 1>her as she passed. One day, someone said something really

0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:28.480
<v Speaker 1>horrible straight to her face.

0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:31.560
<v Speaker 2>And the principle was in the hallway, and I went

0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:35.040
<v Speaker 2>up to him sobbing, and I said, I'm the student

0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:37.840
<v Speaker 2>that these rumors are about. Make it stop, Please make

0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:42.360
<v Speaker 2>it stop. And he said, well, I can't just get

0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:49.040
<v Speaker 2>on the loud speaker and tell everyone that it's not true.

0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:51.919
<v Speaker 1>I want to pause here for a moment. When I

0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:54.840
<v Speaker 1>heard this part of Stephanie's story, I was shocked by

0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:57.639
<v Speaker 1>how many adults knew what was going on and didn't

0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:01.640
<v Speaker 1>do anything about it. Think about how alone she must

0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:06.400
<v Speaker 1>have felt. Stephanie was trying to protect Mark, but nobody

0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:10.719
<v Speaker 1>was protecting her. Now the idea of telling the truth

0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:12.960
<v Speaker 1>felt even more impossible.

0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:18.640
<v Speaker 2>I was just in so much pain and withdrawal from

0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:24.080
<v Speaker 2>everything because the worst possible thing was happening to me, and.

0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:27.080
<v Speaker 1>Through it all, the only person she could talk about

0:19:27.119 --> 0:19:28.399
<v Speaker 1>this with was Mark.

0:19:29.760 --> 0:19:34.879
<v Speaker 2>That brought me closer to him because I didn't have anybody,

0:19:35.520 --> 0:19:38.400
<v Speaker 2>so the rumors and the hurt made me turn to him.

0:19:39.240 --> 0:19:42.760
<v Speaker 1>For her entire freshman year, Mark was the only person

0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:46.399
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie really felt was in her corner. Then at the

0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:50.000
<v Speaker 1>end of the school year, Mark took a job teaching elsewhere.

0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:53.040
<v Speaker 2>I think he got spooked and he left.

0:19:53.720 --> 0:20:02.160
<v Speaker 1>But leaving wasn't an option for Stephanie. That summer, Mark

0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:04.080
<v Speaker 1>introduced her to his parents.

0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:07.919
<v Speaker 2>He lied to them and said I was nineteen. I

0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:11.720
<v Speaker 2>was fifteen. But it made me feel so mature and

0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:14.720
<v Speaker 2>so much older. And that's what everyone when you're a

0:20:14.760 --> 0:20:15.960
<v Speaker 2>teenager wants to feel.

0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:18.600
<v Speaker 1>Mark's parents welcome Stephanie in.

0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:22.160
<v Speaker 2>They would have me over for dinner, and his mom

0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:24.960
<v Speaker 2>was giving me books to read. His mom was giving

0:20:25.000 --> 0:20:28.000
<v Speaker 2>us restaurant recommendations. They're like, oh, next time before you guys,

0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:29.199
<v Speaker 2>go to the drive and you should go to this

0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:31.520
<v Speaker 2>pizza place and get the calzone.

0:20:31.560 --> 0:20:34.119
<v Speaker 1>Mark and Stephanie spent nearly every day together.

0:20:34.720 --> 0:20:36.720
<v Speaker 2>We went to the beach and I have photos of

0:20:36.760 --> 0:20:39.760
<v Speaker 2>us at the beach together. Having him act that way,

0:20:39.840 --> 0:20:42.959
<v Speaker 2>it was like, Okay, this is real. This is a relationship.

0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:46.160
<v Speaker 2>I had nothing to compare it to, but it felt real.

0:20:47.000 --> 0:20:50.439
<v Speaker 1>Mark told everyone they met that Stephanie was nineteen, and

0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:53.199
<v Speaker 1>he asked her to lie about her age. If people asked,

0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:55.760
<v Speaker 1>he said age was just a number.

0:20:56.440 --> 0:21:00.280
<v Speaker 2>At some point I really started to believe that I

0:21:00.359 --> 0:21:03.840
<v Speaker 2>was older. That's how much he had me lying to

0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:07.919
<v Speaker 2>people that I truly, in some weird way, was like,

0:21:08.000 --> 0:21:09.040
<v Speaker 2>oh no, I'm nineteen.

0:21:10.880 --> 0:21:14.520
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie got a fake ID for Mark's birthday. That year,

0:21:14.680 --> 0:21:16.400
<v Speaker 1>they went out to a bar to celebrate.

0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:19.800
<v Speaker 2>We went to those New Orleans themed bar and if

0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:24.680
<v Speaker 2>you flash your breasts, you get beads. And the whole

0:21:24.680 --> 0:21:27.880
<v Speaker 2>time we were there, he just kept encouraging me to flash,

0:21:27.960 --> 0:21:33.399
<v Speaker 2>the bartenders, to get more drinks, just sexualizing me. This

0:21:33.440 --> 0:21:35.280
<v Speaker 2>whole entire bar saw me topless.

0:21:35.880 --> 0:21:38.800
<v Speaker 1>For almost two years. Mark had been her gateway to

0:21:38.880 --> 0:21:39.919
<v Speaker 1>the rest of the world.

0:21:40.640 --> 0:21:43.159
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't drive, I couldn't go anywhere. If I wanted

0:21:43.160 --> 0:21:45.160
<v Speaker 2>to do anything, he would pick me up, he would

0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:49.400
<v Speaker 2>drive me. I had to be completely completely dependent on him.

0:21:50.000 --> 0:21:53.640
<v Speaker 1>Relying on Mark was beginning to feel suffocating. A few

0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:57.399
<v Speaker 1>weeks after his birthday, Stephanie's sister came to town.

0:21:57.760 --> 0:21:59.960
<v Speaker 2>So I went out with my big sister and her friend,

0:22:00.359 --> 0:22:04.000
<v Speaker 2>and I was feeling so much freer because I did

0:22:04.040 --> 0:22:08.800
<v Speaker 2>not have to depend on him for attention or something

0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:09.240
<v Speaker 2>to do.

0:22:10.359 --> 0:22:14.720
<v Speaker 1>That year, Stephanie turned sixteen and got her driver's license.

0:22:15.200 --> 0:22:20.240
<v Speaker 2>And that is definitely where things started to change for me. Gradually,

0:22:21.000 --> 0:22:24.320
<v Speaker 2>I started being able to go outside his bubble a

0:22:24.359 --> 0:22:30.040
<v Speaker 2>lot more. I'm seeing healthy relationships. My world opened up

0:22:30.440 --> 0:22:33.600
<v Speaker 2>to so much because I had been so sheltered by him.

0:22:37.440 --> 0:22:38.639
<v Speaker 3>She was still going.

0:22:38.400 --> 0:22:40.959
<v Speaker 1>Over to Mark's house a lot, and he was still

0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:43.560
<v Speaker 1>asking her to clean up and do laundry for him.

0:22:44.320 --> 0:22:46.760
<v Speaker 1>One day, she was at his house by herself.

0:22:47.800 --> 0:22:50.840
<v Speaker 2>I just remember there being a lot of papers everywhere,

0:22:51.040 --> 0:22:53.000
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, I need to organize this. I can't

0:22:53.040 --> 0:22:54.560
<v Speaker 2>stare at these papers anymore.

0:22:55.480 --> 0:22:58.240
<v Speaker 1>She went to put them in a filing cabinet. That's

0:22:58.280 --> 0:23:02.400
<v Speaker 1>when a document caught her eye.

0:23:01.240 --> 0:23:05.320
<v Speaker 2>And that's when I found his birth certificate. I pulled

0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:08.480
<v Speaker 2>it out and I looked at it. I'm not good

0:23:08.480 --> 0:23:10.200
<v Speaker 2>at math, but I'm doing the math in my head.

0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:12.199
<v Speaker 2>When I'm sitting there as a sixteen year old, I'm like,

0:23:12.680 --> 0:23:15.160
<v Speaker 2>holy shit, he's thirty two.

0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:19.959
<v Speaker 1>Mark had told her he was twenty eight, four years

0:23:20.040 --> 0:23:24.040
<v Speaker 1>younger than he actually was. As she stood there staring

0:23:24.080 --> 0:23:28.960
<v Speaker 1>at his birth certificate, she had a moment of clarity.

0:23:29.000 --> 0:23:32.280
<v Speaker 2>Clearly, you know you're doing something wrong if you're lying

0:23:32.480 --> 0:23:35.760
<v Speaker 2>to tell me that you're younger. And that's when everything

0:23:35.960 --> 0:23:40.680
<v Speaker 2>started clicking for me of he's twice my age. This

0:23:40.760 --> 0:23:41.360
<v Speaker 2>isn't right.

0:23:43.000 --> 0:23:45.640
<v Speaker 3>When Mark came home, Stephanie confronted him.

0:23:46.920 --> 0:23:49.560
<v Speaker 2>I said, I found your birth certificate, so I know

0:23:49.600 --> 0:23:54.439
<v Speaker 2>you're thirty two, and his response was well, I was

0:23:54.520 --> 0:23:57.680
<v Speaker 2>already feeling like Chester the molester. I didn't want to

0:23:57.720 --> 0:23:58.320
<v Speaker 2>make it worse.

0:24:00.359 --> 0:24:02.520
<v Speaker 3>Stephanie glared at him, disgusted.

0:24:03.280 --> 0:24:06.520
<v Speaker 2>What the hell's wrong with you? You were thirty when

0:24:06.560 --> 0:24:09.480
<v Speaker 2>you met a fourteen year old. You want me to

0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:12.560
<v Speaker 2>trust you with everything, and I don't even know how

0:24:12.600 --> 0:24:15.680
<v Speaker 2>old you really are. I want to be on a break.

0:24:17.359 --> 0:24:19.640
<v Speaker 3>Mark's face dropped what.

0:24:20.000 --> 0:24:21.240
<v Speaker 2>I said, Yeah, we're on a break.

0:24:21.960 --> 0:24:25.280
<v Speaker 1>Something between them had shifted. Mark could sense it to

0:24:26.280 --> 0:24:27.360
<v Speaker 1>He looked scared.

0:24:28.200 --> 0:24:30.399
<v Speaker 2>I think that he realized he was losing control of me,

0:24:31.160 --> 0:24:35.240
<v Speaker 2>and he spiraled. He said, I'm going to marry you.

0:24:36.720 --> 0:24:38.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm looking for rings.

0:24:38.640 --> 0:24:40.440
<v Speaker 3>Stephanie almost laughed at him.

0:24:41.240 --> 0:24:43.920
<v Speaker 2>I am sixteen years old and a thirty two year

0:24:43.960 --> 0:24:46.600
<v Speaker 2>old man is asking me to marry him.

0:24:46.880 --> 0:24:47.879
<v Speaker 3>She left his house.

0:24:49.000 --> 0:24:52.080
<v Speaker 1>Mark called and texted her NonStop, begging her not to

0:24:52.119 --> 0:24:52.680
<v Speaker 1>walk away.

0:24:53.320 --> 0:24:55.600
<v Speaker 2>He wanted to talk, he wanted to try to work

0:24:55.640 --> 0:24:59.520
<v Speaker 2>things out, and I went to his house. And I said,

0:24:59.520 --> 0:25:03.000
<v Speaker 2>we're done. This is gross. I can't believe what you've

0:25:03.000 --> 0:25:06.000
<v Speaker 2>done to me. He just starts crying and then he's like,

0:25:06.320 --> 0:25:08.719
<v Speaker 2>please don't leave, stay with me. And I looked at

0:25:08.760 --> 0:25:11.399
<v Speaker 2>him and I said, you are pathetic. This has been

0:25:11.440 --> 0:25:14.080
<v Speaker 2>going on for two years. Do you even realize what

0:25:14.119 --> 0:25:17.440
<v Speaker 2>you've done to me. I took my power back as

0:25:17.480 --> 0:25:20.560
<v Speaker 2>a sixteen year old in that moment, even though at

0:25:20.560 --> 0:25:23.080
<v Speaker 2>that point to me it was just me breaking up

0:25:23.119 --> 0:25:23.800
<v Speaker 2>with a boyfriend.

0:25:24.920 --> 0:25:28.000
<v Speaker 1>It would take over a decade for her to see

0:25:28.040 --> 0:25:33.240
<v Speaker 1>the situation for what it really was. No matter how

0:25:33.240 --> 0:25:37.080
<v Speaker 1>hard Mark tried to regain control, he couldn't.

0:25:37.440 --> 0:25:40.600
<v Speaker 2>I just started distancing myself more and more from him

0:25:40.840 --> 0:25:43.360
<v Speaker 2>because I knew that I was going to be okay.

0:25:44.240 --> 0:25:47.600
<v Speaker 1>She graduated early and finally left her high school behind.

0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:49.000
<v Speaker 3>In the fall.

0:25:49.080 --> 0:25:52.560
<v Speaker 1>She started college at the University of Arizona, but her

0:25:52.600 --> 0:25:54.520
<v Speaker 1>time at college was challenging.

0:25:55.440 --> 0:25:57.840
<v Speaker 2>I was way into the party scene and I would

0:25:57.840 --> 0:26:00.520
<v Speaker 2>not go to class. I would just drink. My life

0:26:00.560 --> 0:26:04.080
<v Speaker 2>really really spiraled from there. I was just drinking so

0:26:04.320 --> 0:26:07.080
<v Speaker 2>much and I ended up dropping out of view of a.

0:26:08.280 --> 0:26:10.920
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie never told her parents about Mark's abuse.

0:26:11.560 --> 0:26:13.080
<v Speaker 3>She didn't have the words for it.

0:26:13.680 --> 0:26:16.960
<v Speaker 1>There was so much pain just under the surface, but

0:26:17.080 --> 0:26:18.240
<v Speaker 1>she didn't want to feel it.

0:26:19.040 --> 0:26:22.480
<v Speaker 2>I was just stuck in this depressive, drunk cycle.

0:26:23.119 --> 0:26:26.560
<v Speaker 3>What happened with Mark followed her wherever she went.

0:26:27.800 --> 0:26:32.880
<v Speaker 2>I was just hiding that pain constantly, never making sense

0:26:32.920 --> 0:26:34.840
<v Speaker 2>of what I had been through, just masking it and

0:26:34.880 --> 0:26:35.880
<v Speaker 2>masking it and masking it.

0:26:36.640 --> 0:26:38.879
<v Speaker 3>Until one night I went out.

0:26:38.640 --> 0:26:42.800
<v Speaker 2>And got extremely intoxicated and got behind the wheel of

0:26:42.840 --> 0:26:46.399
<v Speaker 2>my car, and thank god, I was pulled over and

0:26:46.440 --> 0:26:49.880
<v Speaker 2>I blew a point two four and I got a DUI.

0:26:50.800 --> 0:26:53.040
<v Speaker 2>I was relieved. This is what needed to happen. This

0:26:53.160 --> 0:26:54.240
<v Speaker 2>cycle is going to break.

0:26:55.280 --> 0:26:57.879
<v Speaker 3>She knew that she couldn't keep masking her pain.

0:26:59.560 --> 0:27:01.960
<v Speaker 2>I had to start facing it, and I hadn't faced

0:27:01.960 --> 0:27:02.600
<v Speaker 2>it until then.

0:27:03.440 --> 0:27:06.360
<v Speaker 1>She tried to tell a few friends about Mark. She

0:27:06.400 --> 0:27:09.760
<v Speaker 1>still didn't have the words to label the experience. She

0:27:09.840 --> 0:27:12.359
<v Speaker 1>told people she had dated one of her teachers.

0:27:13.040 --> 0:27:14.600
<v Speaker 3>People didn't know what to make of it.

0:27:15.359 --> 0:27:18.400
<v Speaker 2>So many people were so dismissive of it and minimized it.

0:27:18.640 --> 0:27:21.320
<v Speaker 2>There were never any follow up questions. Not a single

0:27:21.359 --> 0:27:24.240
<v Speaker 2>person ever told me that was wrong or made it

0:27:24.240 --> 0:27:26.919
<v Speaker 2>seem like it was something I should have reported I

0:27:26.960 --> 0:27:30.320
<v Speaker 2>was like, Okay, maybe I'm crazy, Maybe maybe I did

0:27:30.359 --> 0:27:30.960
<v Speaker 2>something wrong.

0:27:31.880 --> 0:27:34.760
<v Speaker 1>It had been over ten years since she had seen Mark,

0:27:35.440 --> 0:27:38.720
<v Speaker 1>and she learned that he wasn't teaching anymore. He'd joined

0:27:38.720 --> 0:27:41.880
<v Speaker 1>the military. So she kept the truth about what happened

0:27:41.880 --> 0:27:46.560
<v Speaker 1>to herself and she focused on moving forward. She enrolled

0:27:46.600 --> 0:27:49.760
<v Speaker 1>in school again. In her late twenties, she became pregnant

0:27:49.800 --> 0:27:53.160
<v Speaker 1>after a brief relationship. She decided to keep the baby

0:27:53.200 --> 0:27:56.240
<v Speaker 1>and be a single mom. When her son was born,

0:27:56.560 --> 0:28:00.320
<v Speaker 1>he became the center of Stephanie's world. She created a

0:28:00.320 --> 0:28:02.919
<v Speaker 1>loving home for him and filled their days with joy

0:28:02.960 --> 0:28:07.760
<v Speaker 1>and fun. She cherished their daily routines together. Being a

0:28:07.800 --> 0:28:10.840
<v Speaker 1>mom gave her the confidence to make a decision she'd

0:28:10.880 --> 0:28:12.000
<v Speaker 1>always wanted to make.

0:28:12.800 --> 0:28:15.640
<v Speaker 2>We're moving to La. I'm going as a single mom

0:28:16.280 --> 0:28:17.800
<v Speaker 2>with a two year old in tow I don't know

0:28:17.840 --> 0:28:21.439
<v Speaker 2>anybody there, but I just saw an opportunity to just

0:28:21.480 --> 0:28:23.400
<v Speaker 2>completely start over and go to La.

0:28:24.119 --> 0:28:27.480
<v Speaker 3>La was just as exciting as she always thought. It would.

0:28:27.520 --> 0:28:30.600
<v Speaker 2>Be my first job there was one of my dream jobs.

0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:32.679
<v Speaker 2>I was working for a celebrity, and I thought that

0:28:32.760 --> 0:28:33.400
<v Speaker 2>was amazing.

0:28:33.920 --> 0:28:36.760
<v Speaker 1>For the first time in a long time, Stephanie felt

0:28:36.800 --> 0:28:40.120
<v Speaker 1>connected to the younger virsion of herself, the little girl

0:28:40.120 --> 0:28:43.600
<v Speaker 1>who dreamt of building a new life in California. She

0:28:43.680 --> 0:28:47.200
<v Speaker 1>got a master's degree in communications and began a career

0:28:47.280 --> 0:28:49.680
<v Speaker 1>in marketing and PR That.

0:28:49.600 --> 0:28:52.360
<v Speaker 2>Really built my confidence a lot. And everything that I

0:28:52.440 --> 0:28:55.240
<v Speaker 2>kept doing just kept bringing me more and more comfortable myself,

0:28:55.280 --> 0:28:56.719
<v Speaker 2>giving me more and more perspective.

0:28:57.520 --> 0:28:59.640
<v Speaker 3>On occasion, she would hike after work.

0:29:00.160 --> 0:29:04.120
<v Speaker 1>She loved climbing the hills dotted with chaparral and sage scrub.

0:29:04.680 --> 0:29:07.560
<v Speaker 1>Her favorite trail led to the Hollywood sign.

0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:10.479
<v Speaker 2>You look out and you see all of LA. I

0:29:10.560 --> 0:29:13.160
<v Speaker 2>was starting to feel a shift in myself of feeling

0:29:13.440 --> 0:29:15.840
<v Speaker 2>stronger and feeling like I can do things that I

0:29:15.840 --> 0:29:18.360
<v Speaker 2>didn't think that I could. And it started to really

0:29:18.640 --> 0:29:22.120
<v Speaker 2>click for me that I can handle things and that

0:29:22.160 --> 0:29:23.640
<v Speaker 2>I can make things happen.

0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:28.800
<v Speaker 1>She had found the strength to face the hardest parts

0:29:28.800 --> 0:29:32.560
<v Speaker 1>of her life, raising her son, moving across the country,

0:29:32.800 --> 0:29:35.840
<v Speaker 1>and going back to school. She had reclaimed the different

0:29:35.840 --> 0:29:39.600
<v Speaker 1>pieces of her identity one by one, and she recognized

0:29:39.600 --> 0:29:44.720
<v Speaker 1>herself again. Then Stephanie turned thirty, the same age as

0:29:44.720 --> 0:29:47.480
<v Speaker 1>Mark had been when she first stepped into his classroom

0:29:47.480 --> 0:29:51.680
<v Speaker 1>at age fourteen. That birthday brought a sense of clarity

0:29:51.760 --> 0:29:56.239
<v Speaker 1>and conviction. What Mark had done was deeply wrong and

0:29:56.320 --> 0:29:57.840
<v Speaker 1>it wasn't her fault.

0:29:58.160 --> 0:30:02.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm feeling ready to do something about this. One night,

0:30:03.520 --> 0:30:08.160
<v Speaker 2>I went online and I looked up Mark and said

0:30:08.200 --> 0:30:11.000
<v Speaker 2>he was teaching at a school in Colorado.

0:30:11.960 --> 0:30:15.000
<v Speaker 1>The last she heard Mark was in the military, but

0:30:15.160 --> 0:30:17.760
<v Speaker 1>now she was staring at his LinkedIn profile.

0:30:18.560 --> 0:30:21.080
<v Speaker 3>He was back teaching high school students.

0:30:21.600 --> 0:30:24.760
<v Speaker 2>My hand started shaking, and I'm like, holy shit, he's

0:30:24.800 --> 0:30:27.760
<v Speaker 2>around kids again. He's teaching again. What do I do.

0:30:28.880 --> 0:30:32.200
<v Speaker 1>That's when she was overcome by a new feeling rage.

0:30:33.000 --> 0:30:36.040
<v Speaker 2>So many people didn't show up for me. I can't

0:30:36.200 --> 0:30:38.960
<v Speaker 2>be that person if he is doing this to anybody else,

0:30:39.480 --> 0:30:42.959
<v Speaker 2>I cannot let this happen and just stand by and

0:30:43.000 --> 0:30:43.560
<v Speaker 2>do nothing.

0:30:44.440 --> 0:30:46.760
<v Speaker 1>So that same night, she sent an email to the

0:30:46.760 --> 0:30:49.240
<v Speaker 1>principal of the school where Mark was now teaching.

0:30:49.880 --> 0:30:53.280
<v Speaker 2>I just said, you don't know me. I saw online

0:30:53.400 --> 0:30:55.680
<v Speaker 2>that Mark Lyndreud may be a teacher at your school.

0:30:56.120 --> 0:30:59.719
<v Speaker 2>I was a student. I had an inappropriate sexual relationship

0:30:59.720 --> 0:31:02.160
<v Speaker 2>with him as a fourteen year old student. I just

0:31:02.200 --> 0:31:02.960
<v Speaker 2>wanted to let you know.

0:31:03.640 --> 0:31:05.960
<v Speaker 1>The principal responded to her email.

0:31:06.320 --> 0:31:10.320
<v Speaker 2>And he said thank you for letting me know. Did

0:31:10.400 --> 0:31:14.240
<v Speaker 2>you ever report this? And I said no, but I

0:31:14.280 --> 0:31:15.120
<v Speaker 2>think I'm ready to.

0:31:17.600 --> 0:31:20.680
<v Speaker 1>The principal called the local police department and reported what

0:31:20.760 --> 0:31:22.160
<v Speaker 1>Mark had done to Stephanie.

0:31:22.720 --> 0:31:27.160
<v Speaker 2>That was the first time someone took my claim seriously.

0:31:28.560 --> 0:31:31.680
<v Speaker 1>A detective reached out to Stephanie. They got on the

0:31:31.680 --> 0:31:35.600
<v Speaker 1>phone and Detective Durbin asked her to start from the beginning.

0:31:36.240 --> 0:31:39.440
<v Speaker 2>And it was like, okay, he performed oral sex on me,

0:31:39.680 --> 0:31:43.240
<v Speaker 2>and she would say, okay, what does that mean. It's

0:31:43.280 --> 0:31:45.320
<v Speaker 2>going to be uncomfortable, but I need you to tell

0:31:45.320 --> 0:31:48.400
<v Speaker 2>me these things. I had to go into very explicit

0:31:48.440 --> 0:31:52.040
<v Speaker 2>detail about things that he would do to me. I

0:31:52.120 --> 0:31:54.760
<v Speaker 2>had to tell them every time that I could remember

0:31:54.960 --> 0:31:56.680
<v Speaker 2>any sort of a detail, because that was going to

0:31:56.680 --> 0:31:57.280
<v Speaker 2>be a charge.

0:31:58.080 --> 0:32:01.680
<v Speaker 1>Detective Durbin began making no of the charges against Mark.

0:32:02.600 --> 0:32:05.720
<v Speaker 2>She started saying sexual abuse of a minor. Okay, that's

0:32:05.760 --> 0:32:09.560
<v Speaker 2>an offense, that's sexual assault. When I started talking to

0:32:09.720 --> 0:32:12.960
<v Speaker 2>Detective durban and she started using those words, I was like,

0:32:13.640 --> 0:32:16.040
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, that's exactly what this was. This was

0:32:16.080 --> 0:32:20.680
<v Speaker 2>never a relationship. He saw me vulnerable, he saw me isolated,

0:32:20.880 --> 0:32:25.240
<v Speaker 2>and that made me perfect prey for a pedophile.

0:32:46.760 --> 0:32:50.000
<v Speaker 1>For years, Stephanie knew that what she endured in high

0:32:50.040 --> 0:32:52.720
<v Speaker 1>school was wrong, but she never knew how to talk

0:32:52.760 --> 0:32:55.720
<v Speaker 1>about it. When she turned thirty, she was ready to

0:32:55.760 --> 0:32:58.360
<v Speaker 1>report what happened to her and was connected with the

0:32:58.480 --> 0:33:03.000
<v Speaker 1>detective named Detective Dirty. Stephanie told her what happened, and

0:33:03.040 --> 0:33:06.080
<v Speaker 1>the detective started making note of the charges against Mark.

0:33:06.960 --> 0:33:09.880
<v Speaker 2>She started saying, sexual abuse of a minor. Okay, that's

0:33:09.880 --> 0:33:14.200
<v Speaker 2>an offense, that's sexual assault. When Detective Durban started using

0:33:14.240 --> 0:33:17.600
<v Speaker 2>those words, I was like, oh my god, that's exactly

0:33:17.640 --> 0:33:20.040
<v Speaker 2>what this was. This was never a relationship. This was

0:33:20.640 --> 0:33:25.600
<v Speaker 2>a pedophile grooming me and manipulating me, and it was abuse.

0:33:26.280 --> 0:33:29.400
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie was angrier than she had ever been, and she

0:33:29.520 --> 0:33:32.400
<v Speaker 1>was ready to do whatever was necessary to keep Mark

0:33:32.440 --> 0:33:38.440
<v Speaker 1>from abusing another child. Detective Durban asked Stephanie if she

0:33:38.480 --> 0:33:42.040
<v Speaker 1>had any other evidence that could corroborate her claims against Mark.

0:33:42.880 --> 0:33:46.040
<v Speaker 1>She didn't expect Stephanie to have much. It had been

0:33:46.080 --> 0:33:46.960
<v Speaker 1>over a decade.

0:33:47.720 --> 0:33:49.920
<v Speaker 2>Clearly, we know that I was being sexually abused the

0:33:50.080 --> 0:33:53.680
<v Speaker 2>entire time, but in my fourteen and fifteen year old mind,

0:33:54.200 --> 0:33:56.959
<v Speaker 2>it was a relationship. And what do you do as

0:33:57.000 --> 0:33:58.920
<v Speaker 2>a fourteen, fifteen year old girl, and you're in a relationship,

0:33:58.920 --> 0:34:03.720
<v Speaker 2>you keep little men to so I saved like movie tickets,

0:34:03.880 --> 0:34:08.200
<v Speaker 2>drive in tickets, receipts from lingerie he'd make me buy,

0:34:08.840 --> 0:34:13.640
<v Speaker 2>and photos and that was perfect for the criminal investigation

0:34:13.760 --> 0:34:14.360
<v Speaker 2>and the trial.

0:34:15.239 --> 0:34:16.880
<v Speaker 3>Stephanie dug up that old box.

0:34:17.600 --> 0:34:20.040
<v Speaker 1>All the things that Mark had used to gain power

0:34:20.120 --> 0:34:21.640
<v Speaker 1>over her were now.

0:34:21.440 --> 0:34:24.719
<v Speaker 3>Going to help her take it back. She brought the.

0:34:24.680 --> 0:34:27.760
<v Speaker 1>Evidence to the police and they put together a timeline

0:34:27.760 --> 0:34:32.480
<v Speaker 1>of Mark's abuse, corroborated by ticket stubs, receipts, and photos.

0:34:32.960 --> 0:34:35.200
<v Speaker 2>We went to the drive in and saw how to

0:34:35.239 --> 0:34:37.200
<v Speaker 2>lose a guy in ten days. And that was on

0:34:37.280 --> 0:34:40.600
<v Speaker 2>Valentine's Day. And here's a ticket stub, and here's the

0:34:40.680 --> 0:34:43.640
<v Speaker 2>date that he asked me to get this lingerie. I

0:34:43.719 --> 0:34:45.640
<v Speaker 2>had these photos with the dates on them, and it

0:34:45.680 --> 0:34:49.160
<v Speaker 2>would be like him shirtless in his house or me

0:34:49.280 --> 0:34:52.000
<v Speaker 2>laying on the floor with his dog us on the

0:34:52.040 --> 0:34:54.759
<v Speaker 2>beach in California with like his arms wrapped around me.

0:34:55.440 --> 0:34:58.359
<v Speaker 1>Detective Durban told Stephanie about one last thing they could

0:34:58.360 --> 0:35:01.480
<v Speaker 1>do to build a case against Mark. They refer to

0:35:01.480 --> 0:35:05.040
<v Speaker 1>it as a confrontation call. She explained how it would work.

0:35:05.960 --> 0:35:10.600
<v Speaker 2>I call him and it's basically to try to get

0:35:10.760 --> 0:35:13.560
<v Speaker 2>him to admit to what he did. The detectives are

0:35:13.600 --> 0:35:16.320
<v Speaker 2>in the room unbeknownst to him, and so there's a

0:35:16.320 --> 0:35:17.920
<v Speaker 2>record of that, so that then they can go in

0:35:18.000 --> 0:35:21.120
<v Speaker 2>and without a doubt arrest him. She said, you don't

0:35:21.280 --> 0:35:24.320
<v Speaker 2>have to do this. Sometimes it is healing for people.

0:35:24.400 --> 0:35:27.839
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes it's the opposite. And I said, yeah, let's call

0:35:27.880 --> 0:35:30.600
<v Speaker 2>that motherfucker. He is teaching and I want to make

0:35:30.600 --> 0:35:31.800
<v Speaker 2>sure he's never teaching again.

0:35:32.960 --> 0:35:35.960
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie flew from LA to Phoenix to meet Detective Durbin

0:35:36.040 --> 0:35:39.840
<v Speaker 1>and another detective who would be present for the call. Together,

0:35:40.120 --> 0:35:41.080
<v Speaker 1>they made a game plan.

0:35:42.120 --> 0:35:45.000
<v Speaker 2>It was super nerve racking because I don't want to

0:35:45.000 --> 0:35:47.840
<v Speaker 2>hear his voice, but if I can get him to

0:35:48.000 --> 0:35:50.560
<v Speaker 2>admit this, there's no going back.

0:35:51.440 --> 0:35:55.200
<v Speaker 1>Then, with the two detectives by her side, she dialed

0:35:55.280 --> 0:35:55.960
<v Speaker 1>Mark's number.

0:35:56.880 --> 0:36:02.640
<v Speaker 2>I called him and he answered, and I just started saying,

0:36:02.840 --> 0:36:06.800
<v Speaker 2>I need closure. I was fourteen and I was your student.

0:36:07.400 --> 0:36:10.040
<v Speaker 2>Why did you do that? And he's like, I was immature,

0:36:10.760 --> 0:36:15.239
<v Speaker 2>and he admitted to knowing I was fourteen, admitted to

0:36:15.280 --> 0:36:17.520
<v Speaker 2>knowing I was a student. I hope you have a

0:36:17.600 --> 0:36:19.560
<v Speaker 2>really great day is how he ended it.

0:36:20.239 --> 0:36:22.000
<v Speaker 3>Stephanie felt quiet.

0:36:22.200 --> 0:36:24.720
<v Speaker 2>And Detective Durbin was like, how are you doing it okay?

0:36:25.080 --> 0:36:28.960
<v Speaker 2>And I said that was so weird because that man

0:36:29.080 --> 0:36:32.520
<v Speaker 2>controlled so much of my life for the last twenty years.

0:36:32.840 --> 0:36:35.200
<v Speaker 2>And she looked at me and she said, just so

0:36:35.360 --> 0:36:39.400
<v Speaker 2>you know, you had full control of that conversation. He

0:36:39.560 --> 0:36:42.840
<v Speaker 2>was fumbling over himself because you had full control.

0:36:45.600 --> 0:36:49.080
<v Speaker 1>Two days later, Mark was arrested. The story was picked

0:36:49.120 --> 0:36:51.200
<v Speaker 1>up by the local news.

0:36:51.080 --> 0:36:53.640
<v Speaker 4>And a Rooral Public School teacher, Husbanen arrested accused of

0:36:53.719 --> 0:36:57.520
<v Speaker 4>sexual abuse of a minor in Arizona. Police say Mark

0:36:57.560 --> 0:37:00.879
<v Speaker 4>Linderd is a teacher at Vista Peak Preparatory School. He's

0:37:00.920 --> 0:37:02.640
<v Speaker 4>been placed on administrative leave.

0:37:03.640 --> 0:37:07.040
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie and her team prepared for trial. Stephanie started having

0:37:07.080 --> 0:37:10.120
<v Speaker 1>calls with the DA and Tucson. She was also assigned

0:37:10.120 --> 0:37:14.000
<v Speaker 1>to victim advocate. A few weeks after Mark's arrest, she

0:37:14.200 --> 0:37:16.560
<v Speaker 1>was sent his indictment and.

0:37:16.520 --> 0:37:18.640
<v Speaker 2>It says my name on it, and it says his name,

0:37:18.680 --> 0:37:20.880
<v Speaker 2>and it says the core, and it says the charges,

0:37:21.600 --> 0:37:24.760
<v Speaker 2>and each charge is explained in explicit detail.

0:37:25.480 --> 0:37:29.000
<v Speaker 1>All in all, Mark Lyndrude was facing twenty one charges

0:37:29.640 --> 0:37:32.919
<v Speaker 1>twenty counts of sexual contact with a minor and one

0:37:33.000 --> 0:37:35.200
<v Speaker 1>count of sexual abuse of a minor.

0:37:36.120 --> 0:37:39.560
<v Speaker 2>To read those words and then put it together with

0:37:40.080 --> 0:37:44.000
<v Speaker 2>that was me. I'm sl that's named in all of

0:37:44.000 --> 0:37:47.640
<v Speaker 2>these things. That was me. This is real and what

0:37:47.760 --> 0:37:49.520
<v Speaker 2>was done to me was really bad.

0:37:50.320 --> 0:37:53.400
<v Speaker 1>The one thing she'd spent so long trying to hide

0:37:53.760 --> 0:37:55.400
<v Speaker 1>was now headline news.

0:37:55.800 --> 0:37:57.600
<v Speaker 2>I kind of just sat with myself in it and

0:37:57.640 --> 0:37:59.840
<v Speaker 2>I said, I can do one of two things. I

0:38:00.160 --> 0:38:04.239
<v Speaker 2>can become smaller and I can feel ashamed, or I

0:38:04.239 --> 0:38:06.080
<v Speaker 2>can say no, I'm taking back my power.

0:38:06.840 --> 0:38:12.760
<v Speaker 1>After years of keeping Mark's secret, Stephanie was done staying quiet.

0:38:13.200 --> 0:38:14.400
<v Speaker 3>A trial was set.

0:38:14.200 --> 0:38:17.279
<v Speaker 1>For January of twenty twenty two, but Mark and his

0:38:17.400 --> 0:38:21.440
<v Speaker 1>legal team delayed it, and then delayed it again and again.

0:38:22.480 --> 0:38:23.600
<v Speaker 3>Mark was always.

0:38:23.239 --> 0:38:26.520
<v Speaker 1>Having some kind of emergency or new evidence was being

0:38:26.640 --> 0:38:29.719
<v Speaker 1>entered into discovery that caused the trial to be postponed.

0:38:30.600 --> 0:38:31.480
<v Speaker 3>It was exhausting.

0:38:32.800 --> 0:38:36.480
<v Speaker 1>After a while, the prosecution started to talk about giving

0:38:36.560 --> 0:38:37.439
<v Speaker 1>Mark a plea deal.

0:38:38.000 --> 0:38:39.520
<v Speaker 2>If we give the plea deal, at least I know

0:38:39.600 --> 0:38:43.640
<v Speaker 2>he goes to jail, offer him the plea deal. So

0:38:43.719 --> 0:38:46.759
<v Speaker 2>they did, and he declined the plea deal.

0:38:47.560 --> 0:38:50.560
<v Speaker 1>This meant there would be a trial after all, and

0:38:50.600 --> 0:38:53.000
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie would have to face Mark in court.

0:38:53.200 --> 0:38:57.439
<v Speaker 2>The reality was setting in of I have to talk

0:38:57.440 --> 0:39:00.960
<v Speaker 2>about these charges and their explicit details in a room

0:39:01.000 --> 0:39:01.880
<v Speaker 2>full of strangers.

0:39:02.920 --> 0:39:06.200
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie had spent years keeping this secret and many more

0:39:06.320 --> 0:39:10.640
<v Speaker 1>years pushing this trauma down, but now she had to

0:39:10.680 --> 0:39:13.880
<v Speaker 1>face it head on. Not only would Stephanie have to

0:39:13.920 --> 0:39:16.560
<v Speaker 1>say what Mark had done to her out loud, but

0:39:16.640 --> 0:39:20.319
<v Speaker 1>she would have to testify to her trauma an intimate detail,

0:39:20.640 --> 0:39:24.200
<v Speaker 1>to a full room of strangers, and then those strangers

0:39:24.239 --> 0:39:27.560
<v Speaker 1>would have to decide if she was credible, if they

0:39:27.600 --> 0:39:32.200
<v Speaker 1>believed her. She remembered her high school principal who wrote

0:39:32.200 --> 0:39:35.480
<v Speaker 1>her off, and the girls who started rumors about her.

0:39:36.320 --> 0:39:38.520
<v Speaker 1>She felt like she had been on trial her whole life,

0:39:39.000 --> 0:39:42.800
<v Speaker 1>and every jury had found her guilty or dismissed the case.

0:39:43.680 --> 0:39:46.960
<v Speaker 1>What if this jury came to the same conclusions. She

0:39:47.080 --> 0:39:50.360
<v Speaker 1>shared her concerns with the DA the.

0:39:50.400 --> 0:39:52.360
<v Speaker 2>Day, said, I just want you to know that, no

0:39:52.440 --> 0:39:58.319
<v Speaker 2>matter what happens, I believe you the validation in that

0:39:58.680 --> 0:40:02.200
<v Speaker 2>of maybe he won't be found guilty of anything, but

0:40:02.440 --> 0:40:06.120
<v Speaker 2>I am this team of people who support me In

0:40:06.120 --> 0:40:06.720
<v Speaker 2>that way.

0:40:07.640 --> 0:40:12.759
<v Speaker 1>She knew whatever came next, she wouldn't be alone. Stephanie

0:40:12.760 --> 0:40:16.080
<v Speaker 1>flew from la back to Arizona for court. The night

0:40:16.120 --> 0:40:18.560
<v Speaker 1>before the trial, she had a panic attack.

0:40:19.360 --> 0:40:21.239
<v Speaker 2>I thought I was dying, and it was just the

0:40:21.239 --> 0:40:23.799
<v Speaker 2>biggest panic attack that I've had ever in my life.

0:40:24.480 --> 0:40:26.799
<v Speaker 1>The walls felt like they were caving in on her.

0:40:27.480 --> 0:40:31.320
<v Speaker 1>She went to bed feeling shaky.

0:40:31.600 --> 0:40:33.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what happened in my sleep that night,

0:40:33.680 --> 0:40:35.600
<v Speaker 2>but I woke up in the morning and I was like,

0:40:35.960 --> 0:40:39.520
<v Speaker 2>let's fucking go, Let's do this. The only way I

0:40:39.520 --> 0:40:44.319
<v Speaker 2>can describe it is like an athlete going into a game.

0:40:44.800 --> 0:40:46.520
<v Speaker 2>You just put your head in the game and there's

0:40:46.640 --> 0:40:49.080
<v Speaker 2>nothing else you're thinking of. Laser focused.

0:40:49.840 --> 0:40:51.880
<v Speaker 1>The trial began with jury selection.

0:40:52.719 --> 0:40:57.080
<v Speaker 2>The saddest part about jury's selection. One of the questions

0:40:57.120 --> 0:41:01.319
<v Speaker 2>they asked was have you or anyone you know been

0:41:02.120 --> 0:41:06.480
<v Speaker 2>raped or sexual assaulted? And the amount of adjurors who

0:41:06.560 --> 0:41:09.279
<v Speaker 2>had to be excused because they had, in one way

0:41:09.360 --> 0:41:14.120
<v Speaker 2>or another been affected bi sexual assault further fueled me

0:41:14.200 --> 0:41:17.880
<v Speaker 2>of being like, let's go. This idiot is not getting

0:41:17.920 --> 0:41:18.480
<v Speaker 2>away with this.

0:41:19.840 --> 0:41:21.080
<v Speaker 3>Stephanie took the stand.

0:41:21.480 --> 0:41:24.600
<v Speaker 1>The prosecutor asked her questions about what she had endured

0:41:24.960 --> 0:41:26.160
<v Speaker 1>and she answered them.

0:41:26.520 --> 0:41:28.960
<v Speaker 3>Her voice was strong and she was in control.

0:41:29.680 --> 0:41:32.400
<v Speaker 1>Then it was time for Stephanie to be cross examined

0:41:32.440 --> 0:41:33.360
<v Speaker 1>by Mark's attorney.

0:41:34.200 --> 0:41:38.840
<v Speaker 2>She clearly did not have a defense because he already admitted.

0:41:38.440 --> 0:41:42.560
<v Speaker 1>Gil so if the facts couldn't be debated, Mark's attorney

0:41:42.640 --> 0:41:44.200
<v Speaker 1>had one last plan of attack.

0:41:45.120 --> 0:41:48.680
<v Speaker 2>She opened up her entire thing, saying, Stephanie Langletz is

0:41:48.719 --> 0:41:53.839
<v Speaker 2>a liar. I was like, that is your defense, let's go,

0:41:54.480 --> 0:41:55.520
<v Speaker 2>let's go.

0:41:56.360 --> 0:41:57.880
<v Speaker 3>The cross examination began.

0:41:58.800 --> 0:42:02.359
<v Speaker 2>She would ask me questions like you're saying he met

0:42:02.400 --> 0:42:06.640
<v Speaker 2>you at a public park. That's crazy, and I'm like, yes,

0:42:07.719 --> 0:42:10.719
<v Speaker 2>it is crazy. There was nothing she could have said

0:42:10.719 --> 0:42:11.360
<v Speaker 2>that rattled me.

0:42:12.120 --> 0:42:15.120
<v Speaker 1>When the prosecutor was wrapping up, he asked if there

0:42:15.160 --> 0:42:18.239
<v Speaker 1>was anything else Stephanie wanted to share, and.

0:42:18.239 --> 0:42:21.239
<v Speaker 2>I said, yeah, I do. As many times as I

0:42:21.239 --> 0:42:23.239
<v Speaker 2>saw that number pop up on my phone, I could

0:42:23.239 --> 0:42:25.840
<v Speaker 2>tell you what his phone number was right now. And

0:42:25.880 --> 0:42:27.719
<v Speaker 2>so the diegoes, what was it? And I said five

0:42:27.840 --> 0:42:31.319
<v Speaker 2>two nine oh four, And I looked directly in the

0:42:31.320 --> 0:42:34.160
<v Speaker 2>eyes of Mark when I said it. I said five

0:42:34.200 --> 0:42:39.440
<v Speaker 2>to nine oh four. I remember everything. You will not

0:42:39.800 --> 0:42:44.759
<v Speaker 2>get away with this, and his face dropped. You could

0:42:44.840 --> 0:42:45.840
<v Speaker 2>just see the defeat.

0:42:47.760 --> 0:42:49.719
<v Speaker 1>The next day, it was timed with the jury to

0:42:49.800 --> 0:42:52.840
<v Speaker 1>decide whether Mark was innocent or guilty of the twenty

0:42:52.880 --> 0:42:56.680
<v Speaker 1>one charges against him. Stephanie was hopeful that he would

0:42:56.719 --> 0:42:59.759
<v Speaker 1>be found guilty on at least a few counts, but

0:43:00.000 --> 0:43:01.960
<v Speaker 1>she didn't want to set her hopes too high.

0:43:02.680 --> 0:43:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Because each one they have to find me credible for.

0:43:08.040 --> 0:43:11.640
<v Speaker 1>Finally, the jury reached a verdict. Everyone filed back into

0:43:11.640 --> 0:43:14.120
<v Speaker 1>the courtroom and found their seats.

0:43:15.360 --> 0:43:21.120
<v Speaker 2>He was found guilty on every single count, every single count.

0:43:21.200 --> 0:43:25.000
<v Speaker 2>They found him guilty on all twenty one counts. I

0:43:25.040 --> 0:43:29.919
<v Speaker 2>did not expect that, and that was so powerful. These

0:43:29.960 --> 0:43:32.640
<v Speaker 2>people who are total strangers, they believe me.

0:43:33.680 --> 0:43:36.760
<v Speaker 1>A month later, Stephanie traveled back to Tucson for marked

0:43:36.760 --> 0:43:40.520
<v Speaker 1>sentencing hearing. She shared a victim impact statement.

0:43:41.440 --> 0:43:45.440
<v Speaker 2>You stole my teenage years for me. I didn't get

0:43:45.480 --> 0:43:47.440
<v Speaker 2>to go to prom, I didn't get to do anything

0:43:47.480 --> 0:43:50.319
<v Speaker 2>like a teenager does, and instead I found myself at

0:43:50.360 --> 0:43:52.640
<v Speaker 2>the bottom of a bottle for many years. And you

0:43:52.680 --> 0:43:56.120
<v Speaker 2>have affected every relationship of my life. And I said,

0:43:56.640 --> 0:44:00.040
<v Speaker 2>your attorney had no defense, so her defense was to

0:44:00.080 --> 0:44:03.759
<v Speaker 2>paint me as a liar. This is why so many

0:44:03.840 --> 0:44:07.759
<v Speaker 2>victims don't come forward is because they're afraid people aren't

0:44:07.760 --> 0:44:08.800
<v Speaker 2>gonna believe them.

0:44:09.640 --> 0:44:13.359
<v Speaker 1>Later that day, the judge read mark sentence allowed. They

0:44:13.400 --> 0:44:16.520
<v Speaker 1>went through all twenty one counts and for each count

0:44:16.560 --> 0:44:19.600
<v Speaker 1>he was found guilty of, there was time added to

0:44:19.640 --> 0:44:24.960
<v Speaker 1>a sentence. Mark Lyndrude was sentenced to sixty six years

0:44:24.960 --> 0:44:25.440
<v Speaker 1>in prison.

0:44:26.920 --> 0:44:29.359
<v Speaker 2>This man, at this point is in his fifties, so

0:44:29.440 --> 0:44:31.320
<v Speaker 2>he is going to die in jail.

0:44:32.560 --> 0:44:35.239
<v Speaker 1>After the trial, a few students who attended the high

0:44:35.280 --> 0:44:38.480
<v Speaker 1>school where Mark had been teaching reached out to Stephanie.

0:44:39.120 --> 0:44:42.759
<v Speaker 2>They thanked me for what I did, and they're like,

0:44:42.880 --> 0:44:46.000
<v Speaker 2>he creeped us out. He was my sister's teacher, and

0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:48.320
<v Speaker 2>he was saying he was excited for me to be

0:44:48.400 --> 0:44:50.839
<v Speaker 2>in his class, and we just want to tell you,

0:44:51.520 --> 0:44:55.520
<v Speaker 2>thank you for protecting us. That's why I did it.

0:44:56.160 --> 0:44:59.200
<v Speaker 2>I know that they're safe and he will never do

0:44:59.280 --> 0:45:01.160
<v Speaker 2>this to someone ever again.

0:45:02.600 --> 0:45:05.480
<v Speaker 1>It didn't have to take this song to stop Mark's abuse.

0:45:06.040 --> 0:45:08.640
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie's high school heard about it while it was happening

0:45:08.960 --> 0:45:10.839
<v Speaker 1>and failed to properly investigate.

0:45:11.520 --> 0:45:14.839
<v Speaker 2>The school did nothing to protect me. I do think

0:45:14.880 --> 0:45:20.080
<v Speaker 2>that they are culpable. Signs were there and they missed

0:45:20.120 --> 0:45:20.600
<v Speaker 2>a lot.

0:45:21.360 --> 0:45:24.600
<v Speaker 1>After ten years in Los Angeles, Stephanie moved back to

0:45:24.680 --> 0:45:28.560
<v Speaker 1>Arizona with her son. They live in Phoenix now, where

0:45:28.560 --> 0:45:32.239
<v Speaker 1>she runs her own creative marketing studio, and in the

0:45:32.320 --> 0:45:36.000
<v Speaker 1>last few years, Stephanie has formed some close friendships.

0:45:36.400 --> 0:45:39.520
<v Speaker 2>I all of a sudden had this amazing group of

0:45:39.560 --> 0:45:41.880
<v Speaker 2>women around me, and it was the first time in

0:45:42.000 --> 0:45:44.960
<v Speaker 2>my entire life that I had girlfriends like a good

0:45:45.000 --> 0:45:48.960
<v Speaker 2>supportive group of girlfriends. We all support each other, we

0:45:49.000 --> 0:45:51.200
<v Speaker 2>all want the best, and that is so genuine.

0:45:51.920 --> 0:45:55.560
<v Speaker 1>When Stephanie walked into Mark Lyndard's classroom all those years ago,

0:45:55.920 --> 0:45:59.120
<v Speaker 1>she was alone. She struggled to make friends and it

0:45:59.160 --> 0:46:03.080
<v Speaker 1>felt like nobody understood her. But she's not alone anymore.

0:46:03.800 --> 0:46:07.160
<v Speaker 1>At Stephanie's birthday party this year, one of her friends

0:46:07.200 --> 0:46:07.920
<v Speaker 1>made a toast.

0:46:08.360 --> 0:46:09.480
<v Speaker 3>There's a recording of it.

0:46:12.040 --> 0:46:14.640
<v Speaker 1>Her friend raises the glass and talks about all the

0:46:14.680 --> 0:46:17.960
<v Speaker 1>things she loves and cherishes about Stephanie, and then the

0:46:18.000 --> 0:46:25.399
<v Speaker 1>rest of her friends jump in to sing Happy Birthday.

0:46:26.360 --> 0:46:29.800
<v Speaker 1>Stephanie is beaming while tears well in her eyes.

0:46:33.320 --> 0:46:36.560
<v Speaker 2>They don't see me as a victim or survivor of

0:46:36.600 --> 0:46:39.760
<v Speaker 2>sexual abuse. They see me as who I am. Today,

0:46:40.560 --> 0:46:42.440
<v Speaker 2>I am truly happy for the first time.

0:46:46.320 --> 0:46:49.799
<v Speaker 1>We end every weekly episode with the same question, why

0:46:49.800 --> 0:46:52.280
<v Speaker 1>do you want to share your story?

0:46:52.560 --> 0:46:56.200
<v Speaker 2>Unfortunately, twenty something years after this happened to me, it

0:46:56.239 --> 0:46:59.120
<v Speaker 2>still happens. No kid should have to go through this.

0:47:00.080 --> 0:47:03.000
<v Speaker 2>It wasn't you. You didn't invite this, you didn't open

0:47:03.040 --> 0:47:06.600
<v Speaker 2>yourself up to this. You were manipulated, you were groomed.

0:47:07.080 --> 0:47:12.400
<v Speaker 2>You did nothing wrong. There's no shame, there's no guilt,

0:47:12.960 --> 0:47:16.800
<v Speaker 2>and there really is a lot of power and validation

0:47:17.120 --> 0:47:24.279
<v Speaker 2>on the other side.

0:47:26.040 --> 0:47:28.480
<v Speaker 3>On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly.

0:47:28.719 --> 0:47:33.040
<v Speaker 5>I saw this figure standing in the doorway. It was

0:47:33.080 --> 0:47:36.680
<v Speaker 5>an all black and a batman mask and just covered

0:47:36.719 --> 0:47:40.600
<v Speaker 5>head to toe in black clothing. I kept closing opening

0:47:40.600 --> 0:47:42.080
<v Speaker 5>my eyes, like am I really seeing this?

0:47:48.600 --> 0:47:51.280
<v Speaker 1>If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please

0:47:51.320 --> 0:47:52.760
<v Speaker 1>email Betrayal.

0:47:52.360 --> 0:47:54.359
<v Speaker 3>Pod at gmail dot com.

0:47:54.480 --> 0:47:59.840
<v Speaker 1>That is Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. Please know

0:48:00.280 --> 0:48:03.640
<v Speaker 1>that we are not a mental health organization. If you

0:48:03.840 --> 0:48:08.160
<v Speaker 1>are in crisis or currently experiencing domestic violence, we.

0:48:08.200 --> 0:48:10.960
<v Speaker 3>Encourage you to seek local help or dial nine to

0:48:10.960 --> 0:48:12.000
<v Speaker 3>one one.

0:48:12.160 --> 0:48:17.240
<v Speaker 1>Please contact organizations that offer immediate support. In our show notes,

0:48:17.440 --> 0:48:21.520
<v Speaker 1>we've included a list of US based resources. You can

0:48:21.560 --> 0:48:24.719
<v Speaker 1>follow us on Instagram at Betrayal pod or find me

0:48:25.040 --> 0:48:29.400
<v Speaker 1>at It's Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content,

0:48:29.560 --> 0:48:32.840
<v Speaker 1>and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our substack

0:48:32.960 --> 0:48:35.960
<v Speaker 1>at Betrayal dot substack dot com.

0:48:36.080 --> 0:48:37.400
<v Speaker 3>We're grateful for your support.

0:48:37.680 --> 0:48:40.160
<v Speaker 1>One way to show support is by subscribing to our

0:48:40.239 --> 0:48:43.400
<v Speaker 1>show on Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and

0:48:43.440 --> 0:48:47.640
<v Speaker 1>review Betrayal. Five star reviews go a long way. Big

0:48:47.719 --> 0:48:50.759
<v Speaker 1>thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a

0:48:50.800 --> 0:48:54.319
<v Speaker 1>production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group

0:48:54.400 --> 0:48:58.640
<v Speaker 1>and partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced

0:48:58.640 --> 0:49:02.120
<v Speaker 1>by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fie, hosted and produced by

0:49:02.160 --> 0:49:06.279
<v Speaker 1>Me Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our

0:49:06.320 --> 0:49:10.480
<v Speaker 1>story editor is Monique Leboord, also produced by Ben Fetterman.

0:49:11.000 --> 0:49:13.160
<v Speaker 3>Our associate producer is Leah Jablo.

0:49:13.800 --> 0:49:18.600
<v Speaker 1>Production management by Kristin Melcurie, Booking support by Curry Richmond.

0:49:19.120 --> 0:49:23.160
<v Speaker 1>Our iHeart team is Ali Perry and Tessica Crincheck. Audio

0:49:23.320 --> 0:49:26.279
<v Speaker 1>editing by Tanner Robbins, with additional editing and mixing by

0:49:26.320 --> 0:49:29.560
<v Speaker 1>Matt Albecchio. Betrayal's theme composed.

0:49:29.120 --> 0:49:30.040
<v Speaker 3>By Oliver Bains.

0:49:30.680 --> 0:49:34.719
<v Speaker 1>Music library provided by my Music and for more podcasts

0:49:34.760 --> 0:49:39.080
<v Speaker 1>from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

0:49:39.120 --> 0:49:41.680
<v Speaker 1>you get your podcasts.