Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, it's Andrea. Before we start this episode, I
Speaker 1: want to let you know that we will be talking
Speaker 1: explicitly about the realities of child sexual abuse, so please
Speaker 1: be mindful with this episode.
Speaker 2: I remember everything that man, for so long had so
Speaker 2: much control over me. I cannot just stand by and
Speaker 2: do nothing. You will not get away with this.
Speaker 1: I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal, a show about
Speaker 1: the people we trust the most and the deceptions that
Speaker 1: change everything. Today we are sharing Stephanie's story. Stephanie grew
Speaker 1: up in upstate New York, near Albany with her parents
Speaker 1: and siblings.
Speaker 2: My parents had a very tumultuous relationship. I don't think
Speaker 2: I coped with the chaos well. I spent a lot
Speaker 2: of time in my room.
Speaker 1: In her room, it was quiet, looking out her window
Speaker 1: at the woods of upstate New York. Stephanie dreamed of
Speaker 1: a sunny and bright, faraway place, Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: I just had this obsession with the glitz and the
Speaker 2: glamour and how exciting it was, and especially for a
Speaker 2: little girl in upstate New York, where it snows and
Speaker 2: its gray and its gross. LA always just had this
Speaker 2: sunshine to it and always looked like it would be
Speaker 2: a very happy place.
Speaker 1: She hoped she could live there one day. As Stephanie
Speaker 1: got older, her parents started arguing more and more. Home
Speaker 1: was an exhausting place to be. Her parents split up
Speaker 1: and got back together often.
Speaker 2: That coincided with really difficult middle school years. Friends would
Speaker 2: come and go, and it was really difficult dealing with
Speaker 2: that in tandem with things that were going on with
Speaker 2: my parents.
Speaker 1: When Stephanie was in seventh grade, her parents announced that
Speaker 1: their family would be moving across the country to Tucson, Arizona.
Speaker 2: I absolutely did not want to move to Arizona. I
Speaker 2: was quite literally kicking and screaming, you can't even stay
Speaker 2: together for a year. Why the hell are we moving
Speaker 2: across the country.
Speaker 1: But Tucson did have one major perk. It was closer
Speaker 1: to la.
Speaker 2: They're like, look, we can drive from Tucson Hollywood anytime
Speaker 2: you want. If you stop, we'll take you to Hollywood
Speaker 2: on a trip. So that kind of softened the blow
Speaker 2: a little bit.
Speaker 1: But when she arrived at her new middle school, she
Speaker 1: struggled to make friends. The girls in her grade were
Speaker 1: not welcoming.
Speaker 2: Girls are just mean. If anyone has been a middle
Speaker 2: school girl. You know that they can be very unkind.
Speaker 1: She spent most of her time at school alone, and
Speaker 1: life at home was not much of a comfort. Her
Speaker 1: parents were still arguing all the time.
Speaker 3: It was lonely.
Speaker 2: When I was in eighth grade, I started drinking and
Speaker 2: smoking weed and started hanging out with girls that were
Speaker 2: a little bit older than I was. And that whole
Speaker 2: summer in between eighth grade and ninth grade was just
Speaker 2: a lot of drinking in the desert.
Speaker 1: The desert stretched fast and shapeless around her. She couldn't
Speaker 1: figure out where she belonged in this landscape.
Speaker 2: There were signs that I was unraveling. I had withdrawn
Speaker 2: a lot.
Speaker 1: Stephanie's mom noticed a change in her and was concerned,
Speaker 1: so she took her to see a doctor.
Speaker 2: I remember being hunched over, looking down, and I remember thinking,
Speaker 2: this is how he's going to know that I'm depressed,
Speaker 2: because I can't even sit up straight. That's when I
Speaker 2: was diagnosed with depression.
Speaker 3: Described her antidepressants.
Speaker 1: Just a few weeks later, Stephanie started her freshman year
Speaker 1: of high school.
Speaker 2: I went into my freshman year very much alone, feeling
Speaker 2: very much isolated, very much broken. I felt like I
Speaker 2: didn't really have anybody. On the first day.
Speaker 1: Of school, Stephanie went from class to class, meeting her
Speaker 1: teachers and new classmates.
Speaker 2: I go into my Spanish class and the teacher, Mark
Speaker 2: Lindrew is standing there. It was very evident right away
Speaker 2: that he was trying to come off as that young, cool,
Speaker 2: hip teacher, like I want to relate to you guys.
Speaker 3: While his life sounded exotic.
Speaker 2: He would say I went to Spain and I ran
Speaker 2: with the bulls.
Speaker 3: He was still relatable.
Speaker 2: He was very into sports. He was one of the
Speaker 2: JV coaches on the football team and loved Star Wars.
Speaker 2: He used to teach in La, so that parked years
Speaker 2: of Oh cool, like this teacher used to live in La,
Speaker 2: Like awesome, I love La.
Speaker 1: Some kids thought mister Lyndrud was kind of cheesy, but
Speaker 1: he always made class fun. And he was only twenty
Speaker 1: six years old.
Speaker 2: And so I'm like, okay, he's not that much older
Speaker 2: with us. He is kind of the young hip teacher.
Speaker 1: Stephanie's high school had a period in the mornings before
Speaker 1: classes started called zero hour.
Speaker 2: If you needed to do homework or you needed extra help,
Speaker 2: you could go in. At that point, I didn't really
Speaker 2: want to be home at all, So I started going
Speaker 2: to the zero hour.
Speaker 1: One day, during zero Hour, Stephanie was walking through the
Speaker 1: hallways trying to find a place to do her homework.
Speaker 2: I walked by mister Lyndrud's room and there was no
Speaker 2: one in there, or maybe one or two people, and
Speaker 2: I said, Okay, this looks like a safe place for
Speaker 2: me to go to.
Speaker 3: She stepped into his classroom.
Speaker 2: His room felt safe because it was quiet. There wasn't arguing,
Speaker 2: there weren't people yelling.
Speaker 1: She sat down and did her homework. The next day
Speaker 1: she came back to his classroom in the morning. Mister
Speaker 1: Lyndrud was always welcoming.
Speaker 2: It was just sometimes me and him, sometimes other people.
Speaker 1: Soon she was going to mister Lyndrud's room during zero
Speaker 1: hour most days. There she didn't have to worry about
Speaker 1: the mean girls in her grade or her parents' arguments.
Speaker 2: I'd had so many friends at different schools hurt me,
Speaker 2: and I really didn't trust other students.
Speaker 1: Mister Lyndrud was easier to talk to. He asked her
Speaker 1: lots of questions and seemed genuinely interested in her life.
Speaker 2: Where are you're from? How long have you lived here,
Speaker 2: and then he started opening up a little bit about
Speaker 2: I came from Texas, I have an ex fiancee. He
Speaker 2: trusted me with personal information, and it filled this void
Speaker 2: that I wasn't feeling with friends or with my family.
Speaker 2: He was really the only person who would sit down
Speaker 2: and listen to me and hear me, and I just
Speaker 2: didn't have anyone else like that in my life at
Speaker 2: that time.
Speaker 1: One day, Stephanie asked to use his computer for a
Speaker 1: homework assignment, and.
Speaker 2: I'm on his computer and he had his AOL instant
Speaker 2: Messenger up, and that, in a way almost added to
Speaker 2: him being that cool, relatable teacher because it's like, Oh,
Speaker 2: we're on instant Messenger as students. Oh you're on instant Messenger.
Speaker 2: That's cool.
Speaker 1: A message popped up from a woman named Amanda.
Speaker 2: He's like, Oh, that's just my friend Amanda from LA.
Speaker 2: Just tell her you know, you're student using my computer.
Speaker 2: And then another one popped up and he's like, Oh,
Speaker 2: that's my ex girlfriend. Just tell her am busy or
Speaker 2: that you're a student or whatever. I'm thinking, Oh, he
Speaker 2: trusts me to respond to all of these people in
Speaker 2: his life.
Speaker 1: And Stephanie was starting to trust him too.
Speaker 2: It became sort of a friendship, and it started to
Speaker 2: feel like a very safe place for me to be
Speaker 2: in his room.
Speaker 1: Eventually, mister Lyndrud told her that she could ditch the
Speaker 1: formal way of addressing him, so he stopped being mister Lyndrude,
Speaker 1: her Spanish teacher and became Mark, her friend.
Speaker 2: There was one day that I had left school and
Speaker 2: I had a question about my Spanish homework, and because
Speaker 2: I had been responding through his aim to people, obviously
Speaker 2: I knew what his screen name was.
Speaker 1: So she sent him a message on AIM asking how
Speaker 1: to conjugate a verb in Spanish.
Speaker 3: Mark responded, he was.
Speaker 2: Very professional and he explained it to me, and I
Speaker 2: apologized sorry reaching out to you here. I just wanted
Speaker 2: to make sure I got the homework done and he
Speaker 2: said it's okay.
Speaker 1: Soon, Stephanie started messaging Mark with homework questions. More often
Speaker 1: he would help her, and then their messages moved to
Speaker 1: other topics.
Speaker 2: He would say what are you doing, or what are
Speaker 2: you up to or what are your plans this week?
Speaker 2: And he made me feel like I could just talk
Speaker 2: to him about anything that was going on in my
Speaker 2: life and that I could trust him. There was part
Speaker 2: of me that kept thinking like, is this weird? Is
Speaker 2: this appropriate? Like should we be having this conversation? But
Speaker 2: also he is just being nice and friendly and maybe
Speaker 2: he does recognize that I just need a friend.
Speaker 1: If he was offering friendship, she would take it, even
Speaker 1: if it was a little unusual. Then one day, a
Speaker 1: few weeks later, Mark suggested that they hang out outside
Speaker 1: of school.
Speaker 2: He asked me, is there a park by your house?
Speaker 2: Is there anywhere we could meet? And I happened to
Speaker 2: live across the street from this giant park.
Speaker 1: He told her to meet him there on Friday night.
Speaker 1: When Friday night came, Stephanie told her parents she was
Speaker 1: meeting a friend and started walking to the park.
Speaker 2: This is when I started to feel nervous. What are
Speaker 2: we meeting at the park? For fifty percent of me
Speaker 2: thought it was weird, But fifty percent of me also said, well,
Speaker 2: this feels safe because he's meeting me in a very
Speaker 2: public place. All my neighbors are there, a lot of
Speaker 2: people from our school are going to be there, so
Speaker 2: this must be okay because it's a very, very public park.
Speaker 2: He made me feel like we were friends at that point,
Speaker 2: and I really didn't have anyone else to hang out with,
Speaker 2: especially on a Friday night.
Speaker 1: When she got to the park, a green ASUV pulled
Speaker 1: into the parking lot and Mark stepped out.
Speaker 3: He looked different than he did at school.
Speaker 2: He had a hat on. He has this very distinct
Speaker 2: bald head, so I remember thinking, Okay, that's kind of
Speaker 2: a disguise, so maybe this isn't okay that we're meeting up,
Speaker 2: and I started to feel really uneasy. He starts walking
Speaker 2: toward me very aggressively, and he just picks me up
Speaker 2: and kisses me, and I just froze. It never occurred
Speaker 2: to me that that's what was going to happen.
Speaker 1: As a fourteen year old, Stephanie was overwhelmed and confused.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what to do. My brain couldn't process
Speaker 2: what was happening.
Speaker 1: Stephanie walked home from the park that night, desperately trying
Speaker 1: to make sense of this. Mark was her teacher and
Speaker 1: she thought he was her friend.
Speaker 2: What just happened to risk being in this park, to
Speaker 2: risk his teaching, And I'm like, he must really like
Speaker 2: me to be willing to do that.
Speaker 1: After that night, Mark began messaging Stephanie more and more
Speaker 1: and then he started driving over to her house and
Speaker 1: parking his car outside on the street.
Speaker 2: It would be later at night, and so I would
Speaker 2: just go outside and sit in his car with him.
Speaker 2: He would have me in the backseat and make out,
Speaker 2: and then I would have to go to school the
Speaker 2: next week like nothing had ever happened.
Speaker 3: It was disorienting.
Speaker 2: He's coming over to make out with me. He's also
Speaker 2: my teacher when I'm sitting in his class and nobody
Speaker 2: knows and was It's a very very confusing spot to
Speaker 2: be in, feeling uncomfortable, but just feeling like someone cared,
Speaker 2: that someone cared about me enough to listen to me
Speaker 2: and want to be around me.
Speaker 3: Mark was grooming her.
Speaker 1: Grooming is a term used to describe the process perpetrators
Speaker 1: use to control their victims. They start by gaining their
Speaker 1: victims trust, then isolating them from their community, labeling their
Speaker 1: own abuse as a shared secret, and finally controlling and
Speaker 1: coercing their victim into staying silent.
Speaker 2: He started telling me, you can never say a word
Speaker 2: to anybody. You can never say anything because it's my
Speaker 2: dream to be a big football coach, and if you
Speaker 2: tell anyone, my dream is ruined. My life is ruined.
Speaker 2: I will be blacklisted in everything that I want to
Speaker 2: do if you tell anyone? And what are people going
Speaker 2: to say about you if they know this is happening.
Speaker 3: Stephanie did what he asked. She didn't tell.
Speaker 2: Any I couldn't process what was actually happening.
Speaker 3: So Mark processed it for her.
Speaker 2: He told her, now we've taken this relationship a little
Speaker 2: bit of a step further, and we trust each other
Speaker 2: more to do this. In a weird way, I think
Speaker 2: this secrecy made me feel like we had this special,
Speaker 2: trusting relationship.
Speaker 1: But keeping the secret meant Mark quickly became the only
Speaker 1: person she could talk to. She couldn't talk to anyone
Speaker 1: else about what was really happening, so Mark became Stephanie's
Speaker 1: closest connection and her only one.
Speaker 2: I went into the school year isolated, and now I'm
Speaker 2: even more isolated because I can't tell anyone what's going on.
Speaker 2: I can't tell everyone who I'm hanging out with at night.
Speaker 2: I was rewarded for my silence with attention, with the
Speaker 2: attention that I wasn't getting anywhere else.
Speaker 1: In early January, Stephanie went to Mark's house to watch
Speaker 1: a football game that was the first night he raped her,
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: Just very confused. I think I froze. I couldn't make
Speaker 2: sense of it happening. And then as soon as he
Speaker 2: was done and was like getting dressed, he said, I
Speaker 2: guess this makes you my girlfriend now.
Speaker 1: Every time Stephanie was uncomfortable or confused or frozen, Mark
Speaker 1: jumped in.
Speaker 3: To explain her own feelings to her. He told her,
Speaker 3: this is what trust felt like.
Speaker 2: Maybe he does really care about me and love me
Speaker 2: because he was risking everything and he was risking that
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 3: Mark told Stephanie he was in love with her.
Speaker 2: He made it seem like it was an actual relationship.
Speaker 2: For Valentine's Day, he took me to the drive in
Speaker 2: and we saw how to lose a guy in ten days.
Speaker 2: I'll never forget.
Speaker 1: Stephanie saved the ticket stub. She put it in a
Speaker 1: box with other mementos from her time with Mark. Mark
Speaker 1: started inviting Stephanie over to his house. She told her
Speaker 1: parents she was at a friends and when she was
Speaker 1: over at Mark's house, he told her it was only
Speaker 1: fair for her to pitch in with household chores.
Speaker 2: It wasn't uncommon for me to clean his house in fact,
Speaker 2: it was an expectation he would have me fold his
Speaker 2: shirts a very specific way.
Speaker 1: He explained to Stephanie that this is what being in
Speaker 1: a relationship was like.
Speaker 3: She believed him.
Speaker 2: As he was getting closer to me and making me
Speaker 2: feel special, he started somewhat flirting with this other girl
Speaker 2: that I was friends with, and I started to feel
Speaker 2: jealous because I'm like, oh, I'm losing his attention.
Speaker 1: One day, that girl mentioned something about co which is
Speaker 1: what a lot of students called Mark. Hearing her talk
Speaker 1: about Mark, Stephanie couldn't keep their secret in any longer.
Speaker 2: I just snapped and I was like, Coach is the
Speaker 2: one who's been texting me. We're like hanging out, and
Speaker 2: she just went silent.
Speaker 1: A few days later, Stephanie was at school when she
Speaker 1: was asked to see the guidance counselor.
Speaker 2: He looked at me and he said, are you having
Speaker 2: a relationship with mister Lyndrud? And I said no. I
Speaker 2: denied it because he had put the fear of God
Speaker 2: in me that if I told anyone my life was over,
Speaker 2: let alone my life his life. So of course I
Speaker 2: was going to be silent because I didn't want to
Speaker 2: be the person who crushed his dreams and ruined his life.
Speaker 1: After Stephanie told a classmate that she was hanging out
Speaker 1: with their Spanish teacher, the guidance counselor called Stephanie into
Speaker 1: his office. He asked her if anything inappropriate was going
Speaker 1: on with mister Lyndrud. Stephanie denied it.
Speaker 2: Of course, I was going to be silent because I
Speaker 2: didn't want to be the person who crushed his dreams
Speaker 2: and ruined his life.
Speaker 1: School administrators questioned mister Lyndrude as well.
Speaker 2: He said nothing happened. The school was like, well, they
Speaker 2: say nothing's going on, and they didn't do any investigation.
Speaker 2: There's nothing further.
Speaker 1: But rumors had already started spreading through the school.
Speaker 3: As a heads up. These comments are cruel and hard
Speaker 3: to hear.
Speaker 2: People were calling me teacher fucker, and people were like, oh,
Speaker 2: I saw her under his desk, and that just further
Speaker 2: isolated me more and more. I already didn't have friends,
Speaker 2: and now I'm being labeled a slut a whore.
Speaker 3: She was shamed.
Speaker 1: The few people she was friendly with at school started
Speaker 1: avoiding eye contact.
Speaker 3: When she walked down the hallway.
Speaker 1: She could hear the girls in her grade, whispering about
Speaker 1: her as she passed. One day, someone said something really
Speaker 1: horrible straight to her face.
Speaker 2: And the principle was in the hallway, and I went
Speaker 2: up to him sobbing, and I said, I'm the student
Speaker 2: that these rumors are about. Make it stop, Please make
Speaker 2: it stop. And he said, well, I can't just get
Speaker 2: on the loud speaker and tell everyone that it's not true.
Speaker 1: I want to pause here for a moment. When I
Speaker 1: heard this part of Stephanie's story, I was shocked by
Speaker 1: how many adults knew what was going on and didn't
Speaker 1: do anything about it. Think about how alone she must
Speaker 1: have felt. Stephanie was trying to protect Mark, but nobody
Speaker 1: was protecting her. Now the idea of telling the truth
Speaker 1: felt even more impossible.
Speaker 2: I was just in so much pain and withdrawal from
Speaker 2: everything because the worst possible thing was happening to me, and.
Speaker 1: Through it all, the only person she could talk about
Speaker 1: this with was Mark.
Speaker 2: That brought me closer to him because I didn't have anybody,
Speaker 2: so the rumors and the hurt made me turn to him.
Speaker 1: For her entire freshman year, Mark was the only person
Speaker 1: Stephanie really felt was in her corner. Then at the
Speaker 1: end of the school year, Mark took a job teaching elsewhere.
Speaker 2: I think he got spooked and he left.
Speaker 1: But leaving wasn't an option for Stephanie. That summer, Mark
Speaker 1: introduced her to his parents.
Speaker 2: He lied to them and said I was nineteen. I
Speaker 2: was fifteen. But it made me feel so mature and
Speaker 2: so much older. And that's what everyone when you're a
Speaker 2: teenager wants to feel.
Speaker 1: Mark's parents welcome Stephanie in.
Speaker 2: They would have me over for dinner, and his mom
Speaker 2: was giving me books to read. His mom was giving
Speaker 2: us restaurant recommendations. They're like, oh, next time before you guys,
Speaker 2: go to the drive and you should go to this
Speaker 2: pizza place and get the calzone.
Speaker 1: Mark and Stephanie spent nearly every day together.
Speaker 2: We went to the beach and I have photos of
Speaker 2: us at the beach together. Having him act that way,
Speaker 2: it was like, Okay, this is real. This is a relationship.
Speaker 2: I had nothing to compare it to, but it felt real.
Speaker 1: Mark told everyone they met that Stephanie was nineteen, and
Speaker 1: he asked her to lie about her age. If people asked,
Speaker 1: he said age was just a number.
Speaker 2: At some point I really started to believe that I
Speaker 2: was older. That's how much he had me lying to
Speaker 2: people that I truly, in some weird way, was like,
Speaker 2: oh no, I'm nineteen.
Speaker 1: Stephanie got a fake ID for Mark's birthday. That year,
Speaker 1: they went out to a bar to celebrate.
Speaker 2: We went to those New Orleans themed bar and if
Speaker 2: you flash your breasts, you get beads. And the whole
Speaker 2: time we were there, he just kept encouraging me to flash,
Speaker 2: the bartenders, to get more drinks, just sexualizing me. This
Speaker 2: whole entire bar saw me topless.
Speaker 1: For almost two years. Mark had been her gateway to
Speaker 1: the rest of the world.
Speaker 2: I couldn't drive, I couldn't go anywhere. If I wanted
Speaker 2: to do anything, he would pick me up, he would
Speaker 2: drive me. I had to be completely completely dependent on him.
Speaker 1: Relying on Mark was beginning to feel suffocating. A few
Speaker 1: weeks after his birthday, Stephanie's sister came to town.
Speaker 2: So I went out with my big sister and her friend,
Speaker 2: and I was feeling so much freer because I did
Speaker 2: not have to depend on him for attention or something
Speaker 2: to do.
Speaker 1: That year, Stephanie turned sixteen and got her driver's license.
Speaker 2: And that is definitely where things started to change for me. Gradually,
Speaker 2: I started being able to go outside his bubble a
Speaker 2: lot more. I'm seeing healthy relationships. My world opened up
Speaker 2: to so much because I had been so sheltered by him.
Speaker 3: She was still going.
Speaker 1: Over to Mark's house a lot, and he was still
Speaker 1: asking her to clean up and do laundry for him.
Speaker 1: One day, she was at his house by herself.
Speaker 2: I just remember there being a lot of papers everywhere,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I need to organize this. I can't
Speaker 2: stare at these papers anymore.
Speaker 1: She went to put them in a filing cabinet. That's
Speaker 1: when a document caught her eye.
Speaker 2: And that's when I found his birth certificate. I pulled
Speaker 2: it out and I looked at it. I'm not good
Speaker 2: at math, but I'm doing the math in my head.
Speaker 2: When I'm sitting there as a sixteen year old, I'm like,
Speaker 2: holy shit, he's thirty two.
Speaker 1: Mark had told her he was twenty eight, four years
Speaker 1: younger than he actually was. As she stood there staring
Speaker 1: at his birth certificate, she had a moment of clarity.
Speaker 2: Clearly, you know you're doing something wrong if you're lying
Speaker 2: to tell me that you're younger. And that's when everything
Speaker 2: started clicking for me of he's twice my age. This
Speaker 2: isn't right.
Speaker 3: When Mark came home, Stephanie confronted him.
Speaker 2: I said, I found your birth certificate, so I know
Speaker 2: you're thirty two, and his response was well, I was
Speaker 2: already feeling like Chester the molester. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: make it worse.
Speaker 3: Stephanie glared at him, disgusted.
Speaker 2: What the hell's wrong with you? You were thirty when
Speaker 2: you met a fourteen year old. You want me to
Speaker 2: trust you with everything, and I don't even know how
Speaker 2: old you really are. I want to be on a break.
Speaker 3: Mark's face dropped what.
Speaker 2: I said, Yeah, we're on a break.
Speaker 1: Something between them had shifted. Mark could sense it to
Speaker 1: He looked scared.
Speaker 2: I think that he realized he was losing control of me,
Speaker 2: and he spiraled. He said, I'm going to marry you.
Speaker 2: I'm looking for rings.
Speaker 3: Stephanie almost laughed at him.
Speaker 2: I am sixteen years old and a thirty two year
Speaker 2: old man is asking me to marry him.
Speaker 3: She left his house.
Speaker 1: Mark called and texted her NonStop, begging her not to
Speaker 1: walk away.
Speaker 2: He wanted to talk, he wanted to try to work
Speaker 2: things out, and I went to his house. And I said,
Speaker 2: we're done. This is gross. I can't believe what you've
Speaker 2: done to me. He just starts crying and then he's like,
Speaker 2: please don't leave, stay with me. And I looked at
Speaker 2: him and I said, you are pathetic. This has been
Speaker 2: going on for two years. Do you even realize what
Speaker 2: you've done to me. I took my power back as
Speaker 2: a sixteen year old in that moment, even though at
Speaker 2: that point to me it was just me breaking up
Speaker 2: with a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: It would take over a decade for her to see
Speaker 1: the situation for what it really was. No matter how
Speaker 1: hard Mark tried to regain control, he couldn't.
Speaker 2: I just started distancing myself more and more from him
Speaker 2: because I knew that I was going to be okay.
Speaker 1: She graduated early and finally left her high school behind.
Speaker 3: In the fall.
Speaker 1: She started college at the University of Arizona, but her
Speaker 1: time at college was challenging.
Speaker 2: I was way into the party scene and I would
Speaker 2: not go to class. I would just drink. My life
Speaker 2: really really spiraled from there. I was just drinking so
Speaker 2: much and I ended up dropping out of view of a.
Speaker 1: Stephanie never told her parents about Mark's abuse.
Speaker 3: She didn't have the words for it.
Speaker 1: There was so much pain just under the surface, but
Speaker 1: she didn't want to feel it.
Speaker 2: I was just stuck in this depressive, drunk cycle.
Speaker 3: What happened with Mark followed her wherever she went.
Speaker 2: I was just hiding that pain constantly, never making sense
Speaker 2: of what I had been through, just masking it and
Speaker 2: masking it and masking it.
Speaker 3: Until one night I went out.
Speaker 2: And got extremely intoxicated and got behind the wheel of
Speaker 2: my car, and thank god, I was pulled over and
Speaker 2: I blew a point two four and I got a DUI.
Speaker 2: I was relieved. This is what needed to happen. This
Speaker 2: cycle is going to break.
Speaker 3: She knew that she couldn't keep masking her pain.
Speaker 2: I had to start facing it, and I hadn't faced
Speaker 2: it until then.
Speaker 1: She tried to tell a few friends about Mark. She
Speaker 1: still didn't have the words to label the experience. She
Speaker 1: told people she had dated one of her teachers.
Speaker 3: People didn't know what to make of it.
Speaker 2: So many people were so dismissive of it and minimized it.
Speaker 2: There were never any follow up questions. Not a single
Speaker 2: person ever told me that was wrong or made it
Speaker 2: seem like it was something I should have reported I
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, maybe I'm crazy, Maybe maybe I did
Speaker 2: something wrong.
Speaker 1: It had been over ten years since she had seen Mark,
Speaker 1: and she learned that he wasn't teaching anymore. He'd joined
Speaker 1: the military. So she kept the truth about what happened
Speaker 1: to herself and she focused on moving forward. She enrolled
Speaker 1: in school again. In her late twenties, she became pregnant
Speaker 1: after a brief relationship. She decided to keep the baby
Speaker 1: and be a single mom. When her son was born,
Speaker 1: he became the center of Stephanie's world. She created a
Speaker 1: loving home for him and filled their days with joy
Speaker 1: and fun. She cherished their daily routines together. Being a
Speaker 1: mom gave her the confidence to make a decision she'd
Speaker 1: always wanted to make.
Speaker 2: We're moving to La. I'm going as a single mom
Speaker 2: with a two year old in tow I don't know
Speaker 2: anybody there, but I just saw an opportunity to just
Speaker 2: completely start over and go to La.
Speaker 3: La was just as exciting as she always thought. It would.
Speaker 2: Be my first job there was one of my dream jobs.
Speaker 2: I was working for a celebrity, and I thought that
Speaker 2: was amazing.
Speaker 1: For the first time in a long time, Stephanie felt
Speaker 1: connected to the younger virsion of herself, the little girl
Speaker 1: who dreamt of building a new life in California. She
Speaker 1: got a master's degree in communications and began a career
Speaker 1: in marketing and PR That.
Speaker 2: Really built my confidence a lot. And everything that I
Speaker 2: kept doing just kept bringing me more and more comfortable myself,
Speaker 2: giving me more and more perspective.
Speaker 3: On occasion, she would hike after work.
Speaker 1: She loved climbing the hills dotted with chaparral and sage scrub.
Speaker 1: Her favorite trail led to the Hollywood sign.
Speaker 2: You look out and you see all of LA. I
Speaker 2: was starting to feel a shift in myself of feeling
Speaker 2: stronger and feeling like I can do things that I
Speaker 2: didn't think that I could. And it started to really
Speaker 2: click for me that I can handle things and that
Speaker 2: I can make things happen.
Speaker 1: She had found the strength to face the hardest parts
Speaker 1: of her life, raising her son, moving across the country,
Speaker 1: and going back to school. She had reclaimed the different
Speaker 1: pieces of her identity one by one, and she recognized
Speaker 1: herself again. Then Stephanie turned thirty, the same age as
Speaker 1: Mark had been when she first stepped into his classroom
Speaker 1: at age fourteen. That birthday brought a sense of clarity
Speaker 1: and conviction. What Mark had done was deeply wrong and
Speaker 1: it wasn't her fault.
Speaker 2: I'm feeling ready to do something about this. One night,
Speaker 2: I went online and I looked up Mark and said
Speaker 2: he was teaching at a school in Colorado.
Speaker 1: The last she heard Mark was in the military, but
Speaker 1: now she was staring at his LinkedIn profile.
Speaker 3: He was back teaching high school students.
Speaker 2: My hand started shaking, and I'm like, holy shit, he's
Speaker 2: around kids again. He's teaching again. What do I do.
Speaker 1: That's when she was overcome by a new feeling rage.
Speaker 2: So many people didn't show up for me. I can't
Speaker 2: be that person if he is doing this to anybody else,
Speaker 2: I cannot let this happen and just stand by and
Speaker 2: do nothing.
Speaker 1: So that same night, she sent an email to the
Speaker 1: principal of the school where Mark was now teaching.
Speaker 2: I just said, you don't know me. I saw online
Speaker 2: that Mark Lyndreud may be a teacher at your school.
Speaker 2: I was a student. I had an inappropriate sexual relationship
Speaker 2: with him as a fourteen year old student. I just
Speaker 2: wanted to let you know.
Speaker 1: The principal responded to her email.
Speaker 2: And he said thank you for letting me know. Did
Speaker 2: you ever report this? And I said no, but I
Speaker 2: think I'm ready to.
Speaker 1: The principal called the local police department and reported what
Speaker 1: Mark had done to Stephanie.
Speaker 2: That was the first time someone took my claim seriously.
Speaker 1: A detective reached out to Stephanie. They got on the
Speaker 1: phone and Detective Durbin asked her to start from the beginning.
Speaker 2: And it was like, okay, he performed oral sex on me,
Speaker 2: and she would say, okay, what does that mean. It's
Speaker 2: going to be uncomfortable, but I need you to tell
Speaker 2: me these things. I had to go into very explicit
Speaker 2: detail about things that he would do to me. I
Speaker 2: had to tell them every time that I could remember
Speaker 2: any sort of a detail, because that was going to
Speaker 2: be a charge.
Speaker 1: Detective Durbin began making no of the charges against Mark.
Speaker 2: She started saying sexual abuse of a minor. Okay, that's
Speaker 2: an offense, that's sexual assault. When I started talking to
Speaker 2: Detective durban and she started using those words, I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, that's exactly what this was. This was
Speaker 2: never a relationship. He saw me vulnerable, he saw me isolated,
Speaker 2: and that made me perfect prey for a pedophile.
Speaker 1: For years, Stephanie knew that what she endured in high
Speaker 1: school was wrong, but she never knew how to talk
Speaker 1: about it. When she turned thirty, she was ready to
Speaker 1: report what happened to her and was connected with the
Speaker 1: detective named Detective Dirty. Stephanie told her what happened, and
Speaker 1: the detective started making note of the charges against Mark.
Speaker 2: She started saying, sexual abuse of a minor. Okay, that's
Speaker 2: an offense, that's sexual assault. When Detective Durban started using
Speaker 2: those words, I was like, oh my god, that's exactly
Speaker 2: what this was. This was never a relationship. This was
Speaker 2: a pedophile grooming me and manipulating me, and it was abuse.
Speaker 1: Stephanie was angrier than she had ever been, and she
Speaker 1: was ready to do whatever was necessary to keep Mark
Speaker 1: from abusing another child. Detective Durban asked Stephanie if she
Speaker 1: had any other evidence that could corroborate her claims against Mark.
Speaker 1: She didn't expect Stephanie to have much. It had been
Speaker 1: over a decade.
Speaker 2: Clearly, we know that I was being sexually abused the
Speaker 2: entire time, but in my fourteen and fifteen year old mind,
Speaker 2: it was a relationship. And what do you do as
Speaker 2: a fourteen, fifteen year old girl, and you're in a relationship,
Speaker 2: you keep little men to so I saved like movie tickets,
Speaker 2: drive in tickets, receipts from lingerie he'd make me buy,
Speaker 2: and photos and that was perfect for the criminal investigation
Speaker 2: and the trial.
Speaker 3: Stephanie dug up that old box.
Speaker 1: All the things that Mark had used to gain power
Speaker 1: over her were now.
Speaker 3: Going to help her take it back. She brought the.
Speaker 1: Evidence to the police and they put together a timeline
Speaker 1: of Mark's abuse, corroborated by ticket stubs, receipts, and photos.
Speaker 2: We went to the drive in and saw how to
Speaker 2: lose a guy in ten days. And that was on
Speaker 2: Valentine's Day. And here's a ticket stub, and here's the
Speaker 2: date that he asked me to get this lingerie. I
Speaker 2: had these photos with the dates on them, and it
Speaker 2: would be like him shirtless in his house or me
Speaker 2: laying on the floor with his dog us on the
Speaker 2: beach in California with like his arms wrapped around me.
Speaker 1: Detective Durban told Stephanie about one last thing they could
Speaker 1: do to build a case against Mark. They refer to
Speaker 1: it as a confrontation call. She explained how it would work.
Speaker 2: I call him and it's basically to try to get
Speaker 2: him to admit to what he did. The detectives are
Speaker 2: in the room unbeknownst to him, and so there's a
Speaker 2: record of that, so that then they can go in
Speaker 2: and without a doubt arrest him. She said, you don't
Speaker 2: have to do this. Sometimes it is healing for people.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's the opposite. And I said, yeah, let's call
Speaker 2: that motherfucker. He is teaching and I want to make
Speaker 2: sure he's never teaching again.
Speaker 1: Stephanie flew from LA to Phoenix to meet Detective Durbin
Speaker 1: and another detective who would be present for the call. Together,
Speaker 1: they made a game plan.
Speaker 2: It was super nerve racking because I don't want to
Speaker 2: hear his voice, but if I can get him to
Speaker 2: admit this, there's no going back.
Speaker 1: Then, with the two detectives by her side, she dialed
Speaker 1: Mark's number.
Speaker 2: I called him and he answered, and I just started saying,
Speaker 2: I need closure. I was fourteen and I was your student.
Speaker 2: Why did you do that? And he's like, I was immature,
Speaker 2: and he admitted to knowing I was fourteen, admitted to
Speaker 2: knowing I was a student. I hope you have a
Speaker 2: really great day is how he ended it.
Speaker 3: Stephanie felt quiet.
Speaker 2: And Detective Durbin was like, how are you doing it okay?
Speaker 2: And I said that was so weird because that man
Speaker 2: controlled so much of my life for the last twenty years.
Speaker 2: And she looked at me and she said, just so
Speaker 2: you know, you had full control of that conversation. He
Speaker 2: was fumbling over himself because you had full control.
Speaker 1: Two days later, Mark was arrested. The story was picked
Speaker 1: up by the local news.
Speaker 4: And a Rooral Public School teacher, Husbanen arrested accused of
Speaker 4: sexual abuse of a minor in Arizona. Police say Mark
Speaker 4: Linderd is a teacher at Vista Peak Preparatory School. He's
Speaker 4: been placed on administrative leave.
Speaker 1: Stephanie and her team prepared for trial. Stephanie started having
Speaker 1: calls with the DA and Tucson. She was also assigned
Speaker 1: to victim advocate. A few weeks after Mark's arrest, she
Speaker 1: was sent his indictment and.
Speaker 2: It says my name on it, and it says his name,
Speaker 2: and it says the core, and it says the charges,
Speaker 2: and each charge is explained in explicit detail.
Speaker 1: All in all, Mark Lyndrude was facing twenty one charges
Speaker 1: twenty counts of sexual contact with a minor and one
Speaker 1: count of sexual abuse of a minor.
Speaker 2: To read those words and then put it together with
Speaker 2: that was me. I'm sl that's named in all of
Speaker 2: these things. That was me. This is real and what
Speaker 2: was done to me was really bad.
Speaker 1: The one thing she'd spent so long trying to hide
Speaker 1: was now headline news.
Speaker 2: I kind of just sat with myself in it and
Speaker 2: I said, I can do one of two things. I
Speaker 2: can become smaller and I can feel ashamed, or I
Speaker 2: can say no, I'm taking back my power.
Speaker 1: After years of keeping Mark's secret, Stephanie was done staying quiet.
Speaker 3: A trial was set.
Speaker 1: For January of twenty twenty two, but Mark and his
Speaker 1: legal team delayed it, and then delayed it again and again.
Speaker 3: Mark was always.
Speaker 1: Having some kind of emergency or new evidence was being
Speaker 1: entered into discovery that caused the trial to be postponed.
Speaker 3: It was exhausting.
Speaker 1: After a while, the prosecution started to talk about giving
Speaker 1: Mark a plea deal.
Speaker 2: If we give the plea deal, at least I know
Speaker 2: he goes to jail, offer him the plea deal. So
Speaker 2: they did, and he declined the plea deal.
Speaker 1: This meant there would be a trial after all, and
Speaker 1: Stephanie would have to face Mark in court.
Speaker 2: The reality was setting in of I have to talk
Speaker 2: about these charges and their explicit details in a room
Speaker 2: full of strangers.
Speaker 1: Stephanie had spent years keeping this secret and many more
Speaker 1: years pushing this trauma down, but now she had to
Speaker 1: face it head on. Not only would Stephanie have to
Speaker 1: say what Mark had done to her out loud, but
Speaker 1: she would have to testify to her trauma an intimate detail,
Speaker 1: to a full room of strangers, and then those strangers
Speaker 1: would have to decide if she was credible, if they
Speaker 1: believed her. She remembered her high school principal who wrote
Speaker 1: her off, and the girls who started rumors about her.
Speaker 1: She felt like she had been on trial her whole life,
Speaker 1: and every jury had found her guilty or dismissed the case.
Speaker 1: What if this jury came to the same conclusions. She
Speaker 1: shared her concerns with the DA the.
Speaker 2: Day, said, I just want you to know that, no
Speaker 2: matter what happens, I believe you the validation in that
Speaker 2: of maybe he won't be found guilty of anything, but
Speaker 2: I am this team of people who support me In
Speaker 2: that way.
Speaker 1: She knew whatever came next, she wouldn't be alone. Stephanie
Speaker 1: flew from la back to Arizona for court. The night
Speaker 1: before the trial, she had a panic attack.
Speaker 2: I thought I was dying, and it was just the
Speaker 2: biggest panic attack that I've had ever in my life.
Speaker 1: The walls felt like they were caving in on her.
Speaker 1: She went to bed feeling shaky.
Speaker 2: I don't know what happened in my sleep that night,
Speaker 2: but I woke up in the morning and I was like,
Speaker 2: let's fucking go, Let's do this. The only way I
Speaker 2: can describe it is like an athlete going into a game.
Speaker 2: You just put your head in the game and there's
Speaker 2: nothing else you're thinking of. Laser focused.
Speaker 1: The trial began with jury selection.
Speaker 2: The saddest part about jury's selection. One of the questions
Speaker 2: they asked was have you or anyone you know been
Speaker 2: raped or sexual assaulted? And the amount of adjurors who
Speaker 2: had to be excused because they had, in one way
Speaker 2: or another been affected bi sexual assault further fueled me
Speaker 2: of being like, let's go. This idiot is not getting
Speaker 2: away with this.
Speaker 3: Stephanie took the stand.
Speaker 1: The prosecutor asked her questions about what she had endured
Speaker 1: and she answered them.
Speaker 3: Her voice was strong and she was in control.
Speaker 1: Then it was time for Stephanie to be cross examined
Speaker 1: by Mark's attorney.
Speaker 2: She clearly did not have a defense because he already admitted.
Speaker 1: Gil so if the facts couldn't be debated, Mark's attorney
Speaker 1: had one last plan of attack.
Speaker 2: She opened up her entire thing, saying, Stephanie Langletz is
Speaker 2: a liar. I was like, that is your defense, let's go,
Speaker 2: let's go.
Speaker 3: The cross examination began.
Speaker 2: She would ask me questions like you're saying he met
Speaker 2: you at a public park. That's crazy, and I'm like, yes,
Speaker 2: it is crazy. There was nothing she could have said
Speaker 2: that rattled me.
Speaker 1: When the prosecutor was wrapping up, he asked if there
Speaker 1: was anything else Stephanie wanted to share, and.
Speaker 2: I said, yeah, I do. As many times as I
Speaker 2: saw that number pop up on my phone, I could
Speaker 2: tell you what his phone number was right now. And
Speaker 2: so the diegoes, what was it? And I said five
Speaker 2: two nine oh four, And I looked directly in the
Speaker 2: eyes of Mark when I said it. I said five
Speaker 2: to nine oh four. I remember everything. You will not
Speaker 2: get away with this, and his face dropped. You could
Speaker 2: just see the defeat.
Speaker 1: The next day, it was timed with the jury to
Speaker 1: decide whether Mark was innocent or guilty of the twenty
Speaker 1: one charges against him. Stephanie was hopeful that he would
Speaker 1: be found guilty on at least a few counts, but
Speaker 1: she didn't want to set her hopes too high.
Speaker 2: Because each one they have to find me credible for.
Speaker 1: Finally, the jury reached a verdict. Everyone filed back into
Speaker 1: the courtroom and found their seats.
Speaker 2: He was found guilty on every single count, every single count.
Speaker 2: They found him guilty on all twenty one counts. I
Speaker 2: did not expect that, and that was so powerful. These
Speaker 2: people who are total strangers, they believe me.
Speaker 1: A month later, Stephanie traveled back to Tucson for marked
Speaker 1: sentencing hearing. She shared a victim impact statement.
Speaker 2: You stole my teenage years for me. I didn't get
Speaker 2: to go to prom, I didn't get to do anything
Speaker 2: like a teenager does, and instead I found myself at
Speaker 2: the bottom of a bottle for many years. And you
Speaker 2: have affected every relationship of my life. And I said,
Speaker 2: your attorney had no defense, so her defense was to
Speaker 2: paint me as a liar. This is why so many
Speaker 2: victims don't come forward is because they're afraid people aren't
Speaker 2: gonna believe them.
Speaker 1: Later that day, the judge read mark sentence allowed. They
Speaker 1: went through all twenty one counts and for each count
Speaker 1: he was found guilty of, there was time added to
Speaker 1: a sentence. Mark Lyndrude was sentenced to sixty six years
Speaker 1: in prison.
Speaker 2: This man, at this point is in his fifties, so
Speaker 2: he is going to die in jail.
Speaker 1: After the trial, a few students who attended the high
Speaker 1: school where Mark had been teaching reached out to Stephanie.
Speaker 2: They thanked me for what I did, and they're like,
Speaker 2: he creeped us out. He was my sister's teacher, and
Speaker 2: he was saying he was excited for me to be
Speaker 2: in his class, and we just want to tell you,
Speaker 2: thank you for protecting us. That's why I did it.
Speaker 2: I know that they're safe and he will never do
Speaker 2: this to someone ever again.
Speaker 1: It didn't have to take this song to stop Mark's abuse.
Speaker 1: Stephanie's high school heard about it while it was happening
Speaker 1: and failed to properly investigate.
Speaker 2: The school did nothing to protect me. I do think
Speaker 2: that they are culpable. Signs were there and they missed
Speaker 2: a lot.
Speaker 1: After ten years in Los Angeles, Stephanie moved back to
Speaker 1: Arizona with her son. They live in Phoenix now, where
Speaker 1: she runs her own creative marketing studio, and in the
Speaker 1: last few years, Stephanie has formed some close friendships.
Speaker 2: I all of a sudden had this amazing group of
Speaker 2: women around me, and it was the first time in
Speaker 2: my entire life that I had girlfriends like a good
Speaker 2: supportive group of girlfriends. We all support each other, we
Speaker 2: all want the best, and that is so genuine.
Speaker 1: When Stephanie walked into Mark Lyndard's classroom all those years ago,
Speaker 1: she was alone. She struggled to make friends and it
Speaker 1: felt like nobody understood her. But she's not alone anymore.
Speaker 1: At Stephanie's birthday party this year, one of her friends
Speaker 1: made a toast.
Speaker 3: There's a recording of it.
Speaker 1: Her friend raises the glass and talks about all the
Speaker 1: things she loves and cherishes about Stephanie, and then the
Speaker 1: rest of her friends jump in to sing Happy Birthday.
Speaker 1: Stephanie is beaming while tears well in her eyes.
Speaker 2: They don't see me as a victim or survivor of
Speaker 2: sexual abuse. They see me as who I am. Today,
Speaker 2: I am truly happy for the first time.
Speaker 1: We end every weekly episode with the same question, why
Speaker 1: do you want to share your story?
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, twenty something years after this happened to me, it
Speaker 2: still happens. No kid should have to go through this.
Speaker 2: It wasn't you. You didn't invite this, you didn't open
Speaker 2: yourself up to this. You were manipulated, you were groomed.
Speaker 2: You did nothing wrong. There's no shame, there's no guilt,
Speaker 2: and there really is a lot of power and validation
Speaker 2: on the other side.
Speaker 3: On the next episode of Betrayal Weekly.
Speaker 5: I saw this figure standing in the doorway. It was
Speaker 5: an all black and a batman mask and just covered
Speaker 5: head to toe in black clothing. I kept closing opening
Speaker 5: my eyes, like am I really seeing this?
Speaker 1: If you'd like to share your story on Betrayal, please
Speaker 1: email Betrayal.
Speaker 3: Pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That is Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. Please know
Speaker 1: that we are not a mental health organization. If you
Speaker 1: are in crisis or currently experiencing domestic violence, we.
Speaker 3: Encourage you to seek local help or dial nine to
Speaker 3: one one.
Speaker 1: Please contact organizations that offer immediate support. In our show notes,
Speaker 1: we've included a list of US based resources. You can
Speaker 1: follow us on Instagram at Betrayal pod or find me
Speaker 1: at It's Andrea Gunning. To access our newsletter and additional content,
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Speaker 1: at Betrayal dot substack dot com.
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Speaker 1: thank you to all of our listeners. Betrayal is a
Speaker 1: production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group
Speaker 1: and partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is executive produced
Speaker 1: by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fie, hosted and produced by
Speaker 1: Me Andrea Gunning, written and produced by Olivia Hewitt. Our
Speaker 1: story editor is Monique Leboord, also produced by Ben Fetterman.
Speaker 3: Our associate producer is Leah Jablo.
Speaker 1: Production management by Kristin Melcurie, Booking support by Curry Richmond.
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Speaker 1: editing by Tanner Robbins, with additional editing and mixing by
Speaker 1: Matt Albecchio. Betrayal's theme composed.
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