WEBVTT - Caligula Disentangled

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Stuff you missed in History Class from how

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<v Speaker 1>Stuff Works dot com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Katie Lambert and I'm Sarah Dowdy, and our subject

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<v Speaker 1>for today is known as being a paranoid tyrant in

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<v Speaker 1>a megalomaniac. He's rumored to have committed incest with his

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<v Speaker 1>sisters and to have elevated his horse to the consulship.

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<v Speaker 1>And he gets his nickname, which means little boots, because

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<v Speaker 1>his father used to dress him up in these cute

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<v Speaker 1>little army sandals and take him on campaign with him.

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<v Speaker 1>And this is actually relevant to some of the events

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<v Speaker 1>of today, as Sarah is taping her sandals back together

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<v Speaker 1>as they broke. Yes, I broke them on my way

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<v Speaker 1>into recording and was hobbling around, So I guess I'm

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<v Speaker 1>like Caligula in one respect. Caligula was the third Emperor

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<v Speaker 1>of Rome. His real name as Gaius Caesar, but none

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<v Speaker 1>of us call him that. But he was so unpopular

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<v Speaker 1>that it's hard to know what's really true and what

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<v Speaker 1>isn't about him because, guess what, the Roman historians really

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<v Speaker 1>didn't like him, so their accounts are almost completely unreliable.

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<v Speaker 1>Encyclopedia Britannica says accounts of his reign by ancient historians

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<v Speaker 1>are so biased against him that the truth is almost

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<v Speaker 1>impossible to disentangle, which is where we got our title.

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<v Speaker 1>That always makes it a little bit nervous, but it

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<v Speaker 1>also usually means it's going to be a fun podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>So let's see how it goes. To give a little

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<v Speaker 1>family history. Gaius Caesar was born in a d. Twelve,

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<v Speaker 1>the great grandson of Augustus, and he's actually related to

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<v Speaker 1>the emperor on both sides, and he was partly raised

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<v Speaker 1>in the household of Augustus's wife, Empress Olivia, And that's

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<v Speaker 1>where we're going to start this family history, because she's

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<v Speaker 1>known for her intrigues, and those very intrigues make his

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<v Speaker 1>rule possible in an indirect sort of way. So Olivia

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<v Speaker 1>is probably best known for plotting on behalf of her son,

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<v Speaker 1>who wasn't Augustus's son. It was her son by her

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<v Speaker 1>first marriage, Tiberius. And the thing is, even though Augustus

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<v Speaker 1>didn't have a legitimate son, he wasn't interested in making

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<v Speaker 1>his stepson Tiberius his air Now he wanted pretty much

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<v Speaker 1>anybody else. Yeah, but but Olivia wasn't going to have that,

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<v Speaker 1>and hey, the chosen heir is just kind of kept

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<v Speaker 1>on dying, and Olivia perhaps, yeah, thanks Olivia maybe, and um,

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<v Speaker 1>eventually Augustus is like, all right, well, I guess I'll

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<v Speaker 1>settle on Tiberius. And it's rumored that Olivia may even

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<v Speaker 1>have done in Augustus himself when it seemed that he

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<v Speaker 1>was wavering on his commitment to Tiberius as air. She

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<v Speaker 1>was a motivated woman, a devoted mother apparently. So Tiberius

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<v Speaker 1>does become emperor, and he's not terrible. He's a pretty

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<v Speaker 1>competent damning with faint prayer well, and he's a he's

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<v Speaker 1>a competent statesman as well. But he's uncomfortable in this

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<v Speaker 1>position that his mother's mock nations have forced him into,

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<v Speaker 1>and so as he gets older, he removes himself more

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<v Speaker 1>and more from public life and eventually spends the last

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<v Speaker 1>ten years of his life in this semi retirement in Capri,

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<v Speaker 1>which you've got to admit, that's a weird thing for

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<v Speaker 1>an emperor to do. Well, and that's not the only

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<v Speaker 1>weird thing he did. This is where all the Bizarro

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<v Speaker 1>rumors start, because Tiberius on capri this uh no holds barred.

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<v Speaker 1>He starts uh planning these things, planned, planning orgies with

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<v Speaker 1>men and women. There are girls and boys dressed up

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<v Speaker 1>as nude nymphs, and uh pan to wander around the woods.

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<v Speaker 1>We've got Egyptian pornography, and the part that I can't

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<v Speaker 1>say really terrible. He maybe hires little kids to act

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<v Speaker 1>as minnows and um swim around and nit bat him

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<v Speaker 1>under the water. So if you ever get asked to

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<v Speaker 1>play sharks and minnows, make sure it's not Tiberius's version.

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<v Speaker 1>But while Tiberius is off in this freaky retirement, he's

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<v Speaker 1>letting the guy he left in charge, the praetorian Prefect,

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<v Speaker 1>Lucius Elias Saanas, get a little too powerful. We have

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<v Speaker 1>a little note on names too. I think we're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>go with the um reconstructed classical names instead of the

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<v Speaker 1>modern pronunciations. But we might go back and forth to

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<v Speaker 1>warn you. But Sianas started thinking at some point that

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<v Speaker 1>he would do away with the airs and perhaps become

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<v Speaker 1>emperor himself. But Tiberius has got other problems, and he's

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<v Speaker 1>dealing with them in another kind of way. He's worried

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<v Speaker 1>that his nephew and heir. The general Grammaticus might be

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<v Speaker 1>having ideas kind of similar to say Trees, and this

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<v Speaker 1>idea yeah treason. This idea is thinking that he doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>want to wait around for the old emperor who's often

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<v Speaker 1>retirement to actually die. So mysteriously, Germanicus dies on campaign

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<v Speaker 1>in Syria in a d. Nineteen, likely on Tiberius's orders.

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<v Speaker 1>Then in twenty three Germanicus' son Drusus dies, and then

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<v Speaker 1>in thirty one his son Julius caesar Nero dies, and

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<v Speaker 1>in thirty three his widow Agrippina dies, So we've got

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<v Speaker 1>this whole family almost the whole family wiped out, so

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<v Speaker 1>there's just one son left, who is of course Gayus

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<v Speaker 1>or little Caligula. But back to our Sanus plotline, Tiberius

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<v Speaker 1>may have done away with one of his own heirs,

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<v Speaker 1>Germanicus himself, but Sayanas takes care of his other heir,

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<v Speaker 1>whose tiberius own son, Drusus, who died under strange circumstances.

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<v Speaker 1>So eventually Saianas only has three people in his way.

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<v Speaker 1>We have the Emperor Tiberius, Germanicus's surviving son Caligula, and

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<v Speaker 1>Drusus's son Tiberius. Gamalus, so the heirs of the original heirs,

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<v Speaker 1>and then the emperor himself. So Sayana's plots to kill

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<v Speaker 1>the whole family. He's going to wipe them all out.

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<v Speaker 1>But he's found out before he can execute his plan,

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<v Speaker 1>so he and the rest of the Praetorian prefect are

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<v Speaker 1>arrested and strangled and actually torn to pieces by a mob.

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<v Speaker 1>So no light punishment here for for plotters. So we've

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<v Speaker 1>got Caligula now as an heir to the emperor, and

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<v Speaker 1>with his position that as secure as it can be

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<v Speaker 1>in Imperial Rome. The young Caligula goes off to live

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<v Speaker 1>with his uncle at the kind of freaky Capri villa

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<v Speaker 1>in a d thirty one, And this is the point

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<v Speaker 1>where his cruelty may have made its first appearance. And

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<v Speaker 1>it's also when he may have started incestuous relationships with

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<v Speaker 1>his sisters. Again to those not entirely trustworthy accounts. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but by March thirty seven Tiberius dies. Of course, we've

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<v Speaker 1>got to throw in the possibility that Caligula himself did

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<v Speaker 1>Tiberius in and maybe mothered him with a pilly. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>which is a cruel way to go, I guess. But um,

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<v Speaker 1>there's one little problem still for for our main guy here.

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<v Speaker 1>He's not the sole heir, and he's supposed to share

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<v Speaker 1>the throne with his cousin Tiberius Gimalists, but that's obviously

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<v Speaker 1>not going to work out, of course, not so the

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<v Speaker 1>praetorian Prefect Nevius Cortes Sutorius Macro and the Senate decide

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<v Speaker 1>that Caligula will be the sole ruler, and it's not

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<v Speaker 1>long before his cousin, Tiberius Gimalists winds up dead. So

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<v Speaker 1>people are pretty happy with their young emperor Caligula, though,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, they've had Tiberius, who's been this sort of

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<v Speaker 1>sour old man who lives in Capri all the time

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<v Speaker 1>and never really bothers much with things the average people

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<v Speaker 1>are gonna like, like circuses and games. So they had

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<v Speaker 1>this twenty year old new emperor, and he's a blood

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<v Speaker 1>real lative of Augustus, who obviously is popular guy, and

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<v Speaker 1>he seems like he's going to be a pretty fair

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<v Speaker 1>level headed ruler. I mean, the first thing he does

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<v Speaker 1>is reimburse Romans who had been financially crushed under Tiberius's

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<v Speaker 1>oppressive taxes. When he gets rid of the sales tax,

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<v Speaker 1>he offers amnesty for people who are imprisoned or exiled

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<v Speaker 1>under Tiberius, and he starts staging games and entertainment for

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<v Speaker 1>the people, which sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it.

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<v Speaker 1>But it sounds like a medici dec Yeah. Well, things

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<v Speaker 1>take a turn, though, and at about seven months into

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<v Speaker 1>his reign, Caligulu it's very very sick and the people

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<v Speaker 1>are really upset about this, and he recovers, and some

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<v Speaker 1>historians think that his illness drove him mad. Others say

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<v Speaker 1>that the evidence for that is really murky, and some

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<v Speaker 1>of it is just playing made up. You know, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>it's another sort of smear campaign by later historians. But

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<v Speaker 1>whatever happens, whether the illness drives him to insanity or

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<v Speaker 1>if his sort of cruel meglomaniac side just appears. Several

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<v Speaker 1>months into his rerain, things start to go downhill for Caligula. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it gets very very weird. And all of this stuff

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<v Speaker 1>happens or not in a very short span of time,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's almost easier to contemplate it thematically rather than chronologically,

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<v Speaker 1>So that's what we're going to do. He isn't loyal

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<v Speaker 1>to his supporters. He drives Macro, who was the prefect

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<v Speaker 1>we talked about to commit suicide, and this was the

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<v Speaker 1>man who had helped him secure his throne, a man

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<v Speaker 1>who'd taken risks for him. So that's a that's a

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<v Speaker 1>bad start already. If you're not um keeping the people

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<v Speaker 1>who are most loyal to you alive and close to you,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know you you'll need allies throughout your reign.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's our first bullet point, and our second one

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<v Speaker 1>is that he thinks he's divine, which, as we've learned

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<v Speaker 1>in previous podcasts, is a risky stance to take. He

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<v Speaker 1>replaces Olympian heads with his own. He almost provokes a

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<v Speaker 1>Jewish revolt by ordering in the year forty that he

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<v Speaker 1>be worshiped in the temple. Herod Agrippa persuades him to

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<v Speaker 1>recall the order. She's a pretty good call, and um,

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<v Speaker 1>we have some archaeological evidence to back this up to.

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<v Speaker 1>In two thousand three, excavations in the Roman Forum confirmed

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<v Speaker 1>that he had incorporated the ancient temple of Castor and

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<v Speaker 1>Pollox into his own palace, which is totally sacrilegious and uh,

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<v Speaker 1>it's probably refitted after his reign. Well, and now onto

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<v Speaker 1>perhaps the most persistent of the rumors about him, which

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<v Speaker 1>was this strange relationship with his sisters, especially Drusilla, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's possible that he was contemplating some sort of Ptolemy

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<v Speaker 1>style brothers sister alliance. Cleopatra yes, and three of his

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<v Speaker 1>sisters get huge public honors. They were included in the

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<v Speaker 1>soldiers Oath of Allegiance, and some very since nationalized rumors

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<v Speaker 1>have him impregnating Drusilla and then ripping out her womb

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<v Speaker 1>and his impatience to see the baby. But Drusilla does

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<v Speaker 1>die in thirty eight, probably not because of that um,

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<v Speaker 1>but when she dies, he consecrates her as a goddess,

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<v Speaker 1>so she's the first Roman woman to be declared of

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<v Speaker 1>a god by the emperor like this. It's a very

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<v Speaker 1>unusual thing to do and very strange honor. And he

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<v Speaker 1>banished his remaining two sisters in thirty nine after he

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<v Speaker 1>learned that one of their lovers and the widower of

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<v Speaker 1>Drusilla were involved in a plot against him. The Calicula

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<v Speaker 1>obviously has these strange personal inclinations which get him into

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<v Speaker 1>trouble down the road, but his politics also aren't anything.

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<v Speaker 1>They don't endear him to the public in any way.

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<v Speaker 1>He's a megalomaniac, as we've mentioned several times already, and

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<v Speaker 1>he basically rules part time because he's so busy staging

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<v Speaker 1>all these elaborate proofs of his own in importance. And

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<v Speaker 1>one example of this, a very famous example, is when

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<v Speaker 1>he builds a bridge of ships across the Bay of

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<v Speaker 1>Naples and thirty nine and then rides across them wearing

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<v Speaker 1>Alexander's breastplate, all to to disprove the prophecy that he

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<v Speaker 1>had as much of a chance of becoming emperors riding

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<v Speaker 1>a horse across the bay. So it's just this weird thing,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, maybe one of the made up stories about Caligula,

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<v Speaker 1>but just a good peek into his character. Yeah, very

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<v Speaker 1>very insecure. And he also wasted time concocting extraordinary methods

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<v Speaker 1>of torture, like covering someone in honey and releasing the

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<v Speaker 1>bees or feeding them to animals, or shutting them up

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<v Speaker 1>in tiny cages. And the other problem is that no

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<v Speaker 1>one was safe from his wrath, and he couldn't be

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<v Speaker 1>trusted and also couldn't trust anyone else. He got more

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<v Speaker 1>and more paranoid the farther into his rain that he got,

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<v Speaker 1>and the macro relationship proves this. Somebody who clearly should

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<v Speaker 1>have been a trusted ally of his done in He

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<v Speaker 1>supposedly made it an offense for anyone to look at him.

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<v Speaker 1>Another thing he was very insecure about. He was balding,

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<v Speaker 1>but very her suit on the rest of his body.

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<v Speaker 1>But you can't be a part time emperor, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>spending all your money on parties and torturing and not

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<v Speaker 1>go broke. Eventually a lesson. Yeah, it's a lesson for

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<v Speaker 1>any future emperors out there. So soon enough, Caligula has

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<v Speaker 1>nearly bankrupted the public treasury, so he starts doing some

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<v Speaker 1>pretty unpopular things like reinstating trees and trials for his

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<v Speaker 1>own financial benefit, confiscating the property of the elite citizens,

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<v Speaker 1>and bumping up the taxes. And according to the BBC,

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<v Speaker 1>he may have also figured that he needed some sort

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<v Speaker 1>of military glory to of validate his reign, but he

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't be bothered with it, either because of a lack

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<v Speaker 1>of funds, you know, he just had already spent spent

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<v Speaker 1>most of his money on other stuff, or because he

0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:10.360
<v Speaker 1>wasn't interested. In the year forty, he plundered gall and

0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:13.760
<v Speaker 1>headed north. But he must not have done too impressive

0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:17.319
<v Speaker 1>of a job because his triumph consisted solely of fake

0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:21.240
<v Speaker 1>Germans slaves dressed up like gals. And he was planning

0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:24.920
<v Speaker 1>on heading across the channel to invade Britain, but stopped

0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:27.360
<v Speaker 1>for some reason, and instead he had his men go

0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:31.720
<v Speaker 1>after Neptune. Yeah, he figured he had defeated Neptune somehow,

0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:34.960
<v Speaker 1>and his men were going to collect seashells, which they

0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:39.800
<v Speaker 1>considered spoils of the conquered sea God, So declaring war

0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:44.120
<v Speaker 1>on God's that's another major step for Caligula. I think,

0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:49.880
<v Speaker 1>despite his personal strangeness, his biggest mistakes were angering the

0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:53.720
<v Speaker 1>Senate and the Praetorian Guard. He didn't pay the guard,

0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:56.840
<v Speaker 1>and even if you don't have money, you still find

0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:59.560
<v Speaker 1>some way to pay your guard. It's a major major

0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:02.920
<v Speaker 1>Mista become Caligula's part, and he goes out of his

0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:06.200
<v Speaker 1>way to humiliate the Senate. And the best rumor about

0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 1>him ever, in my opinion, is that he promotes his

0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.840
<v Speaker 1>horse in Catadas to the consulship. And we of course

0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:14.920
<v Speaker 1>talked about this in our battle Horse episode. Um in

0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:18.160
<v Speaker 1>Catadis was not, uh not going to make the list

0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.640
<v Speaker 1>just on his battle horse Stabbus alone, so we made

0:15:20.720 --> 0:15:24.920
<v Speaker 1>him a bonus horse, just because what other horses are senators?

0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:28.760
<v Speaker 1>So some of these senators and guard members start plotting,

0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:32.280
<v Speaker 1>and in January forty one, Caligula was killed at the

0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:36.080
<v Speaker 1>Palatine Games by a tribune of the Praetorian Guard and others.

0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.960
<v Speaker 1>He's stabbed in the genitals, if that gives you an

0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:41.560
<v Speaker 1>idea of what people thought of him, and his wife

0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:44.400
<v Speaker 1>and baby daughter were killed too, along with most of

0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:48.400
<v Speaker 1>his family. The Guard spares his uncle Claudius, who becomes

0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:52.160
<v Speaker 1>the next emperor, and only the common people really more

0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:55.160
<v Speaker 1>in Caligula because he has spent so much on games

0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:59.640
<v Speaker 1>and entertainments for them and uh, couldn't really bankrupt them.

0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:03.560
<v Speaker 1>But going back to that whole disentanglement idea, With few

0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:07.640
<v Speaker 1>reliable sources, it's been very difficult for historians to decide

0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:12.800
<v Speaker 1>what to make of him, this insane sounding, spoiled, paranoid man.

0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:16.480
<v Speaker 1>And one thing to consider is that he may have

0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:20.880
<v Speaker 1>had a really twisted sense of humor. Yeah. Historian Michael

0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:24.960
<v Speaker 1>Grant wrote that Caligula had an irrepressible, bizarre sense of

0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:28.920
<v Speaker 1>the ridiculous, deliberately designed to shock, but frequently taken by

0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:33.640
<v Speaker 1>his alarm subjects too seriously notoriously absurd traditions, such as

0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:36.200
<v Speaker 1>the story that he intended to give a consulship to

0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:39.680
<v Speaker 1>his favorite horse in Gatatas, no doubt originated from his

0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:43.720
<v Speaker 1>continual stream of jokes. Probably he remarked that Incatatas would

0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:46.520
<v Speaker 1>do the job as well as most of the recent incumbents.

0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:49.360
<v Speaker 1>And meanwhile he ordered silence in the entire neighborhood to

0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.840
<v Speaker 1>prevent the horse from being disturbed. So yeah, this shows

0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:56.080
<v Speaker 1>how maybe somebody who said these really weird off the

0:16:56.120 --> 0:17:00.000
<v Speaker 1>cuff things could build up this reputation as a complete

0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:04.399
<v Speaker 1>lunatic pretty quickly. And another account of his strange sense

0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:07.680
<v Speaker 1>of humor had him auctioning off public properties to make

0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:12.199
<v Speaker 1>money and taking a sleeping senators nods as bids for

0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:16.920
<v Speaker 1>thirteen expensive gladiators. But we also have probably the more

0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:20.959
<v Speaker 1>famous argument um, and we can go with Roman historian

0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:25.600
<v Speaker 1>Sweetonia's for this, who said that Caligula could not control

0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:28.880
<v Speaker 1>his natural cruelty and viciousness, but he was a most

0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.960
<v Speaker 1>eager witness of the tortures and executions of those who

0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:36.520
<v Speaker 1>suffered punishment, reveling at night, and gluttony and adultery disguised

0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:39.360
<v Speaker 1>in a wig and a long robe. So yeah, that's

0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:44.040
<v Speaker 1>definitely the Caligula who we're most familiar with, just the cruel,

0:17:44.200 --> 0:17:48.639
<v Speaker 1>vicious tyrant of an emperor. But either way, Caligula likely

0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:54.000
<v Speaker 1>foreshadowed certain cracks and a still relatively new imperial system,

0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.639
<v Speaker 1>and they pop up again and again as the system

0:17:56.720 --> 0:18:00.560
<v Speaker 1>keeps producing these young, unskilled rulers who are addled from

0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:05.960
<v Speaker 1>birth and show no aptitude for leadership. Caligula craved absolute power,

0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:09.600
<v Speaker 1>but he had none of the talent, responsibility, or respect

0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:12.239
<v Speaker 1>that he needed to back it up. And we're going

0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:16.720
<v Speaker 1>to close with a likely apocryphal quote of Caligula's, but

0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:20.359
<v Speaker 1>a very disturbing one, and one that sort of epitomizes

0:18:20.440 --> 0:18:24.520
<v Speaker 1>that the danger of the imperial system. He's supposed to

0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:27.320
<v Speaker 1>have said to his wife, off comes this beautiful head.

0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:30.640
<v Speaker 1>Whenever I give the word, if only Rome had one neck,

0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:35.000
<v Speaker 1>and uh yeah, putting all the power in in one

0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:38.480
<v Speaker 1>man's hand, essentially, even though it's not officially like that,

0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:42.240
<v Speaker 1>the emperor clearly has the power in this this time.

0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:45.879
<v Speaker 1>If you would like to pass judgment on Caligula, email

0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:48.760
<v Speaker 1>us at History Podcast at how Stuff Works dot com

0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:50.960
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0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:53.960
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0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:07.640
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0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:12.200
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