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Speaker 1: So I've been working in wellness and well being for

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Speaker 1: about a decade now, I've been studying it for probably

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Speaker 1: two decades, and a lot of what I came to

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Speaker 1: understand when it came time for me to teach or

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Speaker 1: share this work specifically like meditation nervous system regulation, I

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Speaker 1: noticed how many people reject it. So part of my

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Speaker 1: process on learning how to be a great teacher of

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Speaker 1: these phenomenal life changing tools and modalities was to kind of.

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Speaker 2: Reverse engineer understanding pain and.

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Speaker 1: To really approach it, not by saying, Okay, here's what

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Speaker 1: you need, here is what you need, but kind of

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Speaker 1: approach it by being really curious about why don't you

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Speaker 1: want this? Right, Like, why don't you want good things?

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Speaker 1: Why don't you want to meet your needs? Why don't

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Speaker 1: you want to approach looking closer at some of the

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Speaker 1: harder things, And through taking that approach, it taught me

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Speaker 1: so much about the ways that we can hide ourselves

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Speaker 1: from ourselves. And so my biggest intention with this book,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I got to tell you, like, I

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Speaker 1: really did kind of struggle with There's so much I

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Speaker 1: left out of the book because it started to feel

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Speaker 1: too depressing, and so many miracles too.

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Speaker 2: It's like life is bold. It's the duality of both.

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Speaker 1: But I've wanted people to understand this work from multiple,

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Speaker 1: multiple lenses.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Naked Sports, the podcast where we live at

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Speaker 3: the intersection of sports, politics, and culture. Our purpose reveal

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Speaker 3: the common threads that bind them all. So what's happening

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Speaker 3: in women's basketball right now is what we've been trying

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Speaker 3: to get to for almost thirty years. From the stadiums

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Speaker 3: where athletes break barriers and set records, Kayman Clark broke

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Speaker 3: the all time single game assists record.

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Speaker 2: This is crazy for rookies to be doing.

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Speaker 3: Our discussions will uncover the vital connections between these realms

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Speaker 3: and the community we create. In each episode, we'll sit

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Speaker 3: down with athletes, political analysts, and culture critics, because at

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Speaker 3: the core of it all, how we see one issue

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Speaker 3: shines the light on all others. Welcome to the Naked Sports.

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Speaker 3: I'm your host, Carrie Champion. Hey, everybody, welcome to another

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Speaker 3: edition of Naked Sports. Carrie Champion here, So I am

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Speaker 3: in studio. I never do this. This is really interesting.

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Speaker 3: I normally try to record the podcast during the day,

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Speaker 3: but our guests today it felt special. It felt like

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Speaker 3: it should have a nighttime vibe in the city because

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Speaker 3: we were in New York City recording, but a few

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Speaker 3: little housekeeping tools. So remember I told everybody we had

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Speaker 3: the Black Effect Podcast Festival. I really appreciate everybody for

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Speaker 3: coming out and really giving everybody all the support that

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Speaker 3: they needed. It was a real beautiful event. So again,

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Speaker 3: thank you guys for coming out and supporting us. We're

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Speaker 3: in season four of Naked. I can't believe it. It

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Speaker 3: just it flew literally right past us. With that being said,

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Speaker 3: I wanted to give you a little background about our

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Speaker 3: next guest. I often tell people I'm just like, whatever

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Speaker 3: city you're from, you're probably proud you're from that city.

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Speaker 3: I am proud. I like to say I'm from La

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Speaker 3: Like whatever that means, whatever that is, is what it means.

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Speaker 3: And if you know, you know, it's one of those

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Speaker 3: moments like if you're from New York from my Midwest people,

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Speaker 3: if you're from Chicago, Detroit, there's a certain special representation

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Speaker 3: that you feel very very proud of to say that's

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Speaker 3: your city. And so my next guest is from my city.

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Speaker 3: And the moment that I met her and I knew

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Speaker 3: of her, but the moment that I met her, I

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Speaker 3: felt like, Oh, there was this synergy, this vibe. But

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Speaker 3: she's so low key. She never talks about who she

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Speaker 3: is or what this world has gets give her. It

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Speaker 3: is really truly about the experience. And during this time

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Speaker 3: where our country is uncertain and we are not sure

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Speaker 3: what will happen, and I know there's a lot of

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Speaker 3: uncertainty out there and people just don't want to deal

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Speaker 3: with it, don't want to watch the news. I think

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Speaker 3: it's really important to have a calm, centering voice in

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Speaker 3: your life. And she came into my life right on time,

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Speaker 3: literally right on time. I'm talking about Debbie Brown. Debbie

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Speaker 3: Brown is a wellness expert. She has a podcast on

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Speaker 3: this network. She has worked with the Deepak Chopra. She

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Speaker 3: has been featured in every wellness magazine there could be.

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Speaker 3: But she had a whole life before that, and that

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Speaker 3: is where we will begin today's podcast. I'm really curious

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Speaker 3: how your life started off in radio, essentially doing what

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Speaker 3: I'm doing right now in a different way. How'd you

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Speaker 3: get there? Okay, years we both grew up in LA

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Speaker 3: Where were you What radio stations did you listen to? You?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god?

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Speaker 1: Growing up My favorite station was ninety two point three

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Speaker 1: The Beat My TiO Gone.

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Speaker 2: THEO did ninety with the voice Yes, that deep deep boy.

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Speaker 3: And then when I found out that he was Filipino it,

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Speaker 3: I was like, wait, hold on, you mean to tell.

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Speaker 2: Me the THEO was that guy? The actually gave me

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Speaker 2: my first job on the radio many years later. It

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Speaker 2: was very full circle.

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Speaker 1: Crazy, but I love ninety two point three. Are you

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Speaker 1: to listening to Theo? Naica de la Cruz PJ Butter

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Speaker 1: Like it was like La had such a hybrid radio scene,

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Speaker 1: like it really did. Like every all the artists that

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Speaker 1: would come to town. You'd hear like Biggie doing drops Park.

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I want to do the radio.

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Speaker 2: It's gone.

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Speaker 1: It is not gone, but it has changed form and

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Speaker 1: it doesn't feel as localized anymore. It don't felt like

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Speaker 1: there was that special energy when you're not trying to

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Speaker 1: create something necessarily for everybody, like when you have a

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Speaker 1: little more culture on it. And I feel like that's

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Speaker 1: what LA was at the time, because you remember it

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Speaker 1: used to be about like, you know, what was the thing?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, ninety two point three they have this

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Speaker 1: saying it was like, No, it was it was seen

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Speaker 1: no well, no color lines, no color lines because they

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Speaker 1: were really in the community. They had worn in their

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Speaker 1: nineties when there was a lot of like gang violence, and.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, it just it was such a special time

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Speaker 2: and that's what we grew up listening to.

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Speaker 3: And so that well, in a way, can I be

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Speaker 3: honest with you, that may have inspired me, I be

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Speaker 3: to your point, everything felt localized. I didn't really I

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Speaker 3: didn't think about it as radio. I thought about it

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Speaker 3: as TV. But all of it played its part because

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Speaker 3: we listened to certain people. Did you ever call.

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Speaker 2: Into the radio, oh my god all the time?

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Speaker 3: Did you ever get through?

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Speaker 2: Yes, Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: What would you do when you get through?

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Speaker 2: I remember there.

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Speaker 3: You'd be like, yeah, well the tickets what?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd like where the tickets at?

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Speaker 1: And then I remember one time me and my girlfriends

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Speaker 1: and we were total squares, like we were just you know,

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Speaker 1: like he he watching like you know, like probably tj

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Speaker 1: IF on a Friday night. But we used to call

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Speaker 1: in and there was this other really great radio personality

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Speaker 1: with an incredible voice, and I remember his name was admu.

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Speaker 2: Yes, do you remember it? Oh my god?

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Speaker 1: Still to this day, have no idea what he looks like,

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Speaker 1: but I remember that voice. Yeah, And I remember one

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Speaker 1: time we called up to the station we were we were.

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Speaker 2: So young, and we were like, hey, Demo.

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Speaker 1: And you know, we were like thinking, we were flirting

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Speaker 1: with him. We were trying to get tickets on you know,

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Speaker 1: we're on the party line.

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Speaker 2: And I remember he was like, I think it's time

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Speaker 2: for y'all to go to bed girls.

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Speaker 3: By Demo.

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Speaker 2: Where are your goods?

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Speaker 3: See you soon? What is THEO?

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Speaker 2: I know, I don't. I have no idea he was.

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Speaker 3: I saw at a club once and I kept walking

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Speaker 3: around him just to try to get his attention, and

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Speaker 3: he was like, I'm too famous. And by the way,

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Speaker 3: it was the club I was supposed to be in.

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Speaker 3: But that's not the point, damn ougi.

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Speaker 2: I want to see a little Younghucci in the club.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I digress. You grow up listening to that and then.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, when I was so when I was younger,

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Speaker 1: I was influenced by a lot of specific things. One

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Speaker 1: was like PBS and kc ET, so I did have

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Speaker 1: cable growing up, so that's all I could really watch.

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Speaker 1: And I was always like inspired honestly by mister Rogers

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Speaker 1: by LeVar Burton By by the blend of education and

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Speaker 1: exposure for young minds like it. It gripped me and

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Speaker 1: it really kind of taught me how to learn. And

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Speaker 1: so anytime I've touched anything to this day, no matter

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Speaker 1: what I'm doing, even if it was my former life

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Speaker 1: like interviewing rappers, whatever, I was always thinking of it

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Speaker 1: through that lens, like how do we add like some education,

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Speaker 1: some exposure to whatever it is that we're talking about.

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Speaker 1: So that was a big influence for me. LA radio

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Speaker 1: was a massive influence for me. But then I also

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Speaker 1: wanted to be a child psychologist and I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be an anchor woman. So it was kind of like

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Speaker 1: all of those things at once were always kind of

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Speaker 1: swirling around me. And then when I got into college,

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Speaker 1: I had kind of really started emerging in the underground

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Speaker 1: hip hop scene, Like the blogs hadn't come out yet,

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Speaker 1: there wasn't that culture, like you still had to get

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Speaker 1: a physical mixtape. And I started doing like some internet

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Speaker 1: radio before that was a thing. And then I went

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Speaker 1: and got an internship at the radio station. I got

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Speaker 1: an extra internship at like one of the label's universal innerscope,

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Speaker 1: and I was just grinding it out and working my

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Speaker 1: way up. But my first, very first gig on the

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Speaker 1: radio was THEO had stopped. No, he hadn't stopp being

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Speaker 1: on air, but he had become a program director. And

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Speaker 1: I was kind of wallowing away at the station, filling

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Speaker 1: every position, and he was like, I really like your voice.

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Speaker 1: I want you to do the gossip for my show.

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Speaker 1: And so we had this like late night gossip segment

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Speaker 1: called Dirt with Debbie. But it was at a time

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Speaker 1: before there was gossip that was readily available because there

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Speaker 1: weren't blogs and there was no Instagram. Yeah, so you

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Speaker 1: would have to find your gossip once a month when

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Speaker 1: a when a magazine came out. Yeah, and so yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was a hard It was a hard thing for

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Speaker 1: me to do.

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Speaker 2: I never had enough tea.

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Speaker 3: Imagine a world, imagine a world with not enough TA.

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Speaker 2: Couldn't you imagine? I'm like, was there ever a world? Truly?

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Speaker 3: I know? That's like crazy, I know.

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Speaker 1: And then after that I kind of worked my way

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Speaker 1: up and I ended up doing the news and the

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Speaker 1: weather and traffic report for the Steaming Show.

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Speaker 3: As you're explaining this, I see I see little Debbie,

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Speaker 3: and I see baby, I see little David Debbie building

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Speaker 3: and building and building and building, and then there's just

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Speaker 3: a whole nother world for you after the bill, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: So when did you? Did you ever and during? Because

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Speaker 3: radio is a different beast now it's not gone to

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Speaker 3: your point, but it is definitely a different beast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But when you when you were, you know, coming up,

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Speaker 3: who did you see yourself as? Who did you look

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Speaker 3: up to? Because there are people who you probably admire

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Speaker 3: that had been there a little bit before you. Or

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Speaker 3: were you truly just the only one?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I mean definitely not the only one, right, because I

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Speaker 1: think something I've come to know is like just how

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Speaker 1: many women were out there getting it while I was

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Speaker 1: getting it that I necessarily didn't see or know. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but I do feel like at that time I didn't

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Speaker 1: really have anyone I was modeling myself after there weren't

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Speaker 1: a ton of women on the radio, And then the

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Speaker 1: few times you'd hear women, it would usually be in

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Speaker 1: like morning show kind of companion mode, right, so it

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Speaker 1: would be a lot more focused on ya seeing on

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Speaker 1: you know, given the gossip on you know, just kind

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Speaker 1: of like really holding up the male personality. And so

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Speaker 1: I didn't know, I didn't even think I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be on air, to be honest, like I wanted to

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Speaker 1: just help make things happen. And I had really kind

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Speaker 1: of I had been coming up in the underground hip

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Speaker 1: hop world of LA, So it was really for me

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Speaker 1: at that time about getting like certain artists to be

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Speaker 1: able to get opportunity to get some recognition. And then

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Speaker 1: I got like my first four am shift, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, what do I say?

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Speaker 2: What am I supposed to? What do I do? I

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Speaker 2: don't have anything to say.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate you humblely being like just kind of getting

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Speaker 3: some LA artists up and going and kind of just

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Speaker 3: helping them because there is you don't even know where

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Speaker 3: I'm going right this. There's just so much humility and

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Speaker 3: what you've been able to do in this scene and

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Speaker 3: who people are and you and you say it so casually,

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Speaker 3: and I know the kids say, humble Bragg, would you

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Speaker 3: really do have that? Like yeah, No, I grew up

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Speaker 3: with No. I knew Kendrick, And then there was like

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Speaker 3: there are people who really are changing the game that

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Speaker 3: you were friends with and help them and introduce them,

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Speaker 3: you've and you've watched them grow. How does that make

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Speaker 3: you feel now looking back on it so inspired. Did

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Speaker 3: you even know that you were in that type of company?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, Oh wow, oh my god, absolutely, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I Kendrick was Kendrick hundred thousand percent, Yeah, both

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Speaker 1: of them. I was really blessed to start in radio

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Speaker 1: at the same time that just some phenomenal talent like

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Speaker 1: was coming out of LA and.

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Speaker 2: Two of the biggest youngest people at.

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Speaker 1: That time coming out when I'm like climbing, were you know,

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Speaker 1: Kendrick Lamar and Nipsey Hustle And yeah, I mean but honestly,

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Speaker 1: if you really got to look at them when they started,

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Speaker 1: it was hard not to know, you know, like there

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Speaker 1: is an anointing as something different, right, Like it gives

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Speaker 1: a different glow.

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Speaker 2: It's not just talent, it's not just music.

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Speaker 1: And I remember, you know, watching early Kendrick and like

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Speaker 1: one of the first times he ever did like a

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Speaker 1: pop up and this is before the rest of the

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Speaker 1: country knew him. This was like on the Kendrick Lamar

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Speaker 1: EP which.

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Speaker 2: Was early, early, early, early early.

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Speaker 1: And I remember going to this like little signing he

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Speaker 1: did at a record store and like women and children

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Speaker 1: were crying, but like the rest of the country hadn't

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Speaker 1: heard of him yet, like deeply emotionally moved by his

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Speaker 1: work and his presence and wow, like was barely getting started.

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Speaker 1: And so I think when it comes to someone like him.

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Speaker 3: It's just.

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Speaker 1: You don't need to be discovered, you it's divine plan

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Speaker 1: that your work touches the world.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: So I think when I look at the fact that

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Speaker 1: I was able to kind of glimpse and see, you know,

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Speaker 1: minds like that, heart's like that talent like that so early, early,

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Speaker 1: young in their career, Like it's just a privilege.

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Speaker 3: I wonder for you to say you knew right away.

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Speaker 3: Now we think about Nipsey, may he rest in peace,

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Speaker 3: and you think about Kendrick, how beautifully talented they are,

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Speaker 3: and I'll use current as in, yes they are. It is.

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Speaker 3: It is what it is. But do you do you

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Speaker 3: ever think about just being a part of LA culture

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Speaker 3: for me? And someone kind of tried to, you know,

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Speaker 3: push back on this at one point, and I was like, no,

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Speaker 3: I think you know, the LA West Coast rap definitely,

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Speaker 3: we have our Mount Rushmore and of that started it.

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Speaker 3: But then you have a whole new world with Nipsey

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Speaker 3: and Kendrick Yeah, and they picked up this mantle that

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Speaker 3: was already considered to me golden in so many ways,

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Speaker 3: and they took it to a much more higher level

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Speaker 3: of consciousness. Yeah, that was just so to me surreal

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Speaker 3: to your point, Anointed, and I don't you can't, you

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Speaker 3: can't quite describe what they were sent here to do

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Speaker 3: for whatever period of time, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, La is something special, you know. And I

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Speaker 1: say that as us La native, so not trying to

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Speaker 1: take away from anyone else that's seen. Every area has,

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Speaker 1: you know, the things that they do, you know, really incredibly,

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Speaker 1: but to come from LA is just really something else.

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Speaker 1: Like the kind of creativity, the kind of adversity, the

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Speaker 1: kind of opportunity that exists in La. It just creates

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Speaker 1: this like bubble of synchronicity and genius. And I think

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Speaker 1: at that time right like we're thinking and kind of

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Speaker 1: so our brother Charlemagne.

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Speaker 2: So I'm so grateful for this.

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Speaker 1: I'm so grateful he did the forwards to my book

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Speaker 1: and one of the things that he shares in the

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Speaker 1: book is like his first time touching down in La

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Speaker 1: and like me taking him to meet like Nip and Kendrick, and.

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Speaker 2: I remember I had. I had told him.

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Speaker 1: I was like, wait right here, I have to get

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Speaker 1: you music, and I thought I'd be able to like

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Speaker 1: get home and back quickly. It ended up taking me

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Speaker 1: like an hour and a half in LA traffic. But

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Speaker 1: I brought back like literally like five pounds worth of

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Speaker 1: mixtape of every LA artist that was like making noise

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Speaker 1: at the time, and I was like, listen to all

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Speaker 1: of these when you get back to New York, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I think it's like the talent was just surreal,

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Speaker 1: and I hope someone makes it a documentary about it

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Speaker 1: one day, like this moment between like two thousand and

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Speaker 1: five and twenty ten before music completely changed. But there,

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Speaker 1: you know, when there's a lot of names that maybe

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Speaker 1: people around the world won't hear of, but they were

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Speaker 1: phenomenal talents. LA had something so special. There was a

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Speaker 1: scene for everything. There was like the new version against

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Speaker 1: a rap. There was more melodic rap. There was you know,

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Speaker 1: more you know what you'd call then, like backpacker rap,

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Speaker 1: conscious rap. Like there was such a lane for so

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Speaker 1: many different landscapes of Los Angeles.

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Speaker 3: I get I feel sorry for people, and I know

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Speaker 3: we're having our LA moment, but I didn't think about

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Speaker 3: just like remember back in the day and not not

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Speaker 3: that we could really enjoy it and enjoy it. I

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Speaker 3: enjoyed it a little, but like Crenshaw and Sundays and

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Speaker 3: the car clubs, yes, oh my god, like you're just

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Speaker 3: like it's there's no way to describe it. Boys and

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Speaker 3: a Hood did a great job right right at at

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Speaker 3: the end of the day, there's no way to describe

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Speaker 3: something that is so special. And listening to you talk

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Speaker 3: about the city, I wonder, did you ever see a life,

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Speaker 3: especially during that time when you're literally taking Charlotte made

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Speaker 3: so you can hear new music from Nipsey and Kendrick,

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Speaker 3: did you ever see a life where you would leave

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Speaker 3: radio at that time.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you this, I don't wrap my identity around anything.

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Speaker 1: So like I did radio, and I loved radio and

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Speaker 1: eventually did it in a couple other states.

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Speaker 2: But I wasn't like I am radio. I'm radio forever.

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Speaker 1: You know. It's like, this is the way my purpose

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Speaker 1: is expressing itself right now. But I've always had a

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Speaker 1: lot of interest, and I think for me it's always

364
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Speaker 1: about what is like.

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Speaker 2: What makes me feel like I'm.

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Speaker 1: Being useful to the world, like what makes me feel

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Speaker 1: like I'm using the best parts of me my brain,

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Speaker 1: my heart, whatever skills. I'm amassed, right, And so for me,

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Speaker 1: I'm a very and we're both geminis. I can be

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Speaker 1: a very restless person and I can be a very

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Speaker 1: non middle person.

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Speaker 3: I feel attacked. I feel attacked. I feel attacked.

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Speaker 1: But we're also like loyal to the soil, like we

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Speaker 1: are there, sheep, We're so loyal and we are. But

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Speaker 1: you know, there is this piece of us that just

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Speaker 1: always wants to learn, like always wants to have a

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Speaker 1: little bit more of something or more understanding. And I

378
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Speaker 1: think you know, when it came to.

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Speaker 2: Radio, I loved it.

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Speaker 1: I felt like I was good at it, but I

381
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Speaker 1: also felt really limited by it from the start because

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Speaker 1: I have so many interests and working specifically in hip

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Speaker 1: hop radio, I can't bring those interests to work.

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Speaker 2: I got to talk about one thing all the time.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I feel like I was always ready to

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Speaker 2: do whatever.

387
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Speaker 3: You have been. You were on your path, your spiritual path,

388
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Speaker 3: when you when you were drawn to when Nipsey and

389
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,399
Speaker 3: Kendrick were drawn to you, You've always been you know

390
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Speaker 3: what I mean, Like that wasn't an accident that you

391
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Speaker 3: all had met during that time, and our brother Charlemagne.

392
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Speaker 3: And if that's an accident, you were always on the path.

393
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Speaker 3: You just look back and see You're like, oh, okay

394
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Speaker 3: from where I'm supposed to be yea, because it feels

395
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 3: that way. Yeah, for me knowing you, it feels that

396
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,040
Speaker 3: way from this story as you share it. We're gonna

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Speaker 3: take a quick break because we have to pay some bills.

398
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:26,199
Speaker 3: We'll be right back in just a few moments. I

399
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 3: am restless. I will share this with you with Debbie.

400
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 3: Anyone who knows Debbie, if you're listening and or watching,

401
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,399
Speaker 3: she won't be your friend if she don't get your

402
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 3: birth chart. She can't get your birth chart. My girl

403
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:41,119
Speaker 3: needs your birth chart before she sit down, you have water, tea,

404
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,919
Speaker 3: a sniff, a cry, a drop.

405
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,360
Speaker 2: Definitely before I go on a date. I gotta see that.

406
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 3: What time was you born? In? What hospital?

407
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 2: I know? No? And I'm not even like shy about

408
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 2: it anymore. I'm like, uh huh, okay, yeah, what time?

409
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 2: I'm trying to So, did you ask your mom? No?

410
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 2: Is she around?

411
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 1: If you're like I don't know, If they're like, who

412
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 1: can you ask? Can you send a text right now,

413
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 1: I got a note.

414
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 2: This is such a private joke. I'm sorry, I know.

415
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 1: I definitely like when I remember when we first met

416
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Speaker 1: on the beach.

417
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,239
Speaker 3: We met on the beach in Florida. She's like, now,

418
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 3: what time were you born? Okay, oh Jim and oh joh.

419
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 3: In like five seconds, you just told me. I was like, correct,

420
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,879
Speaker 3: well and we became friends. Have you ever someone give

421
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,160
Speaker 3: you their birch chart and you're like, well, I can't

422
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 3: talk to you anymore.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, Absolutely, that's why, Alice, Oh, for sure in real time. Absolutely,

424
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:45,119
Speaker 1: Oh my god, absolutely, Okay, I think, yeah, listen for

425
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 1: any other astrology lovers out there, or if you're not,

426
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 1: but you're curious right now, I highly recommend the pattern app,

427
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,960
Speaker 1: Time Passages, co Star. Those are great apps to learn

428
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 1: about your astrology. But yeah, like I don't have a

429
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 1: lot of time, so fundamental compatibility with friends, with love,

430
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,439
Speaker 1: with work with anything, Like anybody that works for me

431
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 1: got to come up off that birth chart too, Like

432
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Speaker 1: I need to know what those deeper layers, you know,

433
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 1: things are.

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Speaker 3: I just got real uncomfortable. Thanks came over my body.

435
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,119
Speaker 3: I'm all like, should trying to get a job and

436
00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,439
Speaker 3: You're like, what time were you born? You're like, tat

437
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 3: five on a Wednesday. If that's cold?

438
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 2: I know, but it's it can it can't? It can't

439
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 2: tell you so much.

440
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 3: I I and as we talk about this transition, as

441
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,919
Speaker 3: I was asking how did you know? And I felt

442
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,919
Speaker 3: like just listening to you tell the story, even of

443
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:44,400
Speaker 3: those two particular artists, your journey Charlemagne, You've always been

444
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 3: on the path. It may have been the platform, may

445
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 3: have been radio at one point, but now you have

446
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 3: really been able to and I don't want to even

447
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 3: say pivot, but you've been Now you've been able to

448
00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 3: show your other curious everything else that is that you are,

449
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 3: other things that you want to learn about. In Living

450
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 3: in Wisdom, you give us a lot of out today

451
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,919
Speaker 3: April twenty second, buy it a SAP, help my girl

452
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 3: time out everywhere, Audible, listen to it, download, go and

453
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 3: do it. That was a wrap. Could I be a rapper? No? Yeah? No?

454
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 3: By the book is the point. But in Living in Wisdom,

455
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 3: I just think, gosh, how does she do this all

456
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 3: so well? But you share very specific moments that were crushing,

457
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 3: soul crushing, painful physically mentally. Yeah, And each one of

458
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 3: these could be considered pain and or grief. You were

459
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 3: able to turn into magic, the beautiful alchemy of something

460
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 3: that seems painful turning into magic, being a blessing, being better.

461
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 3: Why did you just decide to share your story in

462
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,960
Speaker 3: this particular book? Hm?

463
00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 1: So, I've been working in wellness and well being for

464
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 1: about a decade now. I've been studying it for probably

465
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 1: two decades, and a lot of what I came to

466
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 1: understand when it came time for me to teach or

467
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 1: share this work specifically like meditation nervous system regulation, I

468
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,199
Speaker 1: noticed how many people reject it.

469
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,360
Speaker 2: So part of my process on learning how to.

470
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 1: Be a great teacher of these phenomenal life changing tools

471
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: and modalities was to kind of reverse engineer understanding pain

472
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: and to really approach it, not by saying, Okay, here's

473
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 1: what you need, here is what you need, but kind

474
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 1: of approach it by being really curious about why.

475
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 2: Don't you want this?

476
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 3: Right?

477
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: Like why don't you want good things? Why don't you

478
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,199
Speaker 1: want to meet your needs? Why don't you want to

479
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:52,360
Speaker 1: approach looking closer at some of the harder things, And

480
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 1: through taking that approach, it taught me so much about

481
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,719
Speaker 1: the ways that we can hide ourselves from ourselves, and

482
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 1: so intention with this book, you know, and I got

483
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,400
Speaker 1: to tell you, like, I really did kind of struggle

484
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 1: with There's so much I left out of the book

485
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 1: because it started to feel too depressing, and so many

486
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 1: miracles too. It's like life is both, it's the duality

487
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 1: of both. But I wanted people to understand this work

488
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:24,239
Speaker 1: from multiple, multiple lenses, multiple facets, right, And so I

489
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 1: felt that it was really important that people hear stories

490
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 1: from a place of wisdom, not from a place of

491
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 1: centering self or a place of embitterment or a place

492
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:39,360
Speaker 1: of you know, this is what I went through. That's

493
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,159
Speaker 1: not how I present it. I share some of the

494
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 1: griefs I felt in a way to explain the processes

495
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 1: of grief and also the miraculous nature that is always available.

496
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 2: To you when you choose to spend time.

497
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 3: With your grief.

498
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 1: You Know, something I was saying to someone recently, and

499
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know this sounds so odd, but I

500
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 1: get so excited to teach grief. I get so excited

501
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: to teach and understand pain because it's not something everyone

502
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 1: can do. It's hard to be with those things, but

503
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 1: it's something everyone feels. And I think that I'm really

504
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 1: passionate about what it is to be alive on earth

505
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 1: and a human being. And I think that, you know,

506
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 1: the way emotion is designed, the way that God designed

507
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 1: our human experience. No emotion is more holy, is more important,

508
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: is more necessary than any other emotion. We're meant to

509
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,959
Speaker 1: kind of be with whatever is true and whatever is present.

510
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 1: So that means grief, that means joy, that means happiness,

511
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,439
Speaker 1: that means sadness, that means jealousy, and that means anger,

512
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 1: that means anxiousness, that means all of the full spectrum

513
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 1: of what it is to emote as a human being.

514
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 1: And I think it fascinates me. It fascinates me, And

515
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:02,679
Speaker 1: so yeah, yeah, I think when it came to like

516
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 1: sharing some of my stories, you know it, all of

517
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 1: life hasn't been pretty for me, but it hasn't been

518
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 1: pretty for everybody. A lot of people go through really

519
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: hard things and not just one thing, right, Like we're

520
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 1: used to hearing and learning about trauma through the lens

521
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 1: of like, you know, one thing happened to you or

522
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 1: or you know, you had an accident, or you had

523
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:27,600
Speaker 1: this you know, this big harm happen, and that was it.

524
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 2: That was it. So that's all you got to work through.

525
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 2: How realistic is that for most of us, most of us.

526
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 1: Have had tens and twenties and hundreds of things big

527
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:41,400
Speaker 1: and small happen, compound it continuously, And so those are

528
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 1: usually the reasons why.

529
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 2: It's harder for me, for you, for us, for they,

530
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 2: for everyone to.

531
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 1: Find this elusive peace, that wellness always telts right. And

532
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 1: so when I teach them, like, it's not that you're

533
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 1: in search of peace in this pristine way.

534
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 2: Of like, ah, you know, that'll come. That can come.

535
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 1: It takes a lot of time and a lot of work.

536
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,679
Speaker 1: But this work is about how do you alleviate some

537
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,159
Speaker 1: of your daily suffering, how do you alleviate some of

538
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 1: the internal struggle only you know about, so that your

539
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 1: life actually feels good inside in the same way you

540
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: want people to believe it is on the outside.

541
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,239
Speaker 3: It reads first of all, that was so beautiful, And

542
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 3: I just went through a bevy of emotions. I emoated

543
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 3: the entire time because I want you to know the

544
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 3: feeling of especially right now where we are in today's age.

545
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 3: And I can say over the last four or five years,

546
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 3: maybe just the uncertainty, the anxiety that comes with living

547
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 3: in America. There are all of these issues that pop up.

548
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 3: And as soon as I feel something, I want to medicate.

549
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 3: I want it to go away. I don't want to

550
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 3: see the pain. Yeah, this one therapist tell me you

551
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 3: got to sit with that because pretty soon. It doesn't

552
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 3: take forever. It doesn't take forever, as you talk about

553
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 3: in the book. Doesn't take forever. You said one part,

554
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 3: it could be it could start six weeks, six mouths,

555
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 3: thirty days, three seconds, three minutes. You gave some kind

556
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 3: of amount of time. But it goes and it comes

557
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 3: and you get better at it. But I'm really really

558
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 3: curious about a section that you wrote in the book Mastery.

559
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 3: You talk about mastering who you are. Like, to me,

560
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 3: that is the hardest thing. How did you feel okay

561
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 3: with letting everything break and then just leaving it there?

562
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,480
Speaker 3: Is that mastering?

563
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 2: My god?

564
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 1: Yes?

565
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 2: Okay.

566
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, So when something in us kind of falls apart

567
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 1: and we're hurriedly looking to place the pieces back together

568
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 1: or gluten them back together, right, it's really to replicate

569
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 1: some semblance of control. It's really to think, no, no, no,

570
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: I'm fine, I'm fine.

571
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 2: See everything is back together in its place.

572
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 1: I'm okay, right, And that is actually not the attended path.

573
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 1: Like there's no learning there, there's no growth there, there's

574
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 1: no freedom there. So what I found for myself and

575
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 1: what I hope other people will find, is like, sometimes

576
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 1: you are really brought to your knees by life. There

577
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: is no making sense of it. There is no way

578
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 1: to rationalize it, There is no way to you know,

579
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: kind of talk yourself out of the pain, the humiliation,

580
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 1: the disappointment, the hurt. And so something I realized in

581
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 1: one of my darkest moments is like I spent my

582
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: whole life trying to glue myself back together after every hit.

583
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 2: What if I didn't do that? What would happen?

584
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 3: Must I look like?

585
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 2: What that felt like to me was just shattering and

586
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 2: letting the pieces fall and now experiencing what is it

587
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 2: to be uncontained? Right?

588
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 1: What if it is if I'm not packed into this tight,

589
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 1: little neat vessel.

590
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 2: What happens if I just kind of fill the space?

591
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 3: That feels scary?

592
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it is at first, like it does feel scary.

593
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:54,959
Speaker 3: That sounds scary.

594
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 1: It's scary because it's unknown, but it's not scary because

595
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 1: anything is wrong. And I think that's what's really important

596
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: as we do whatever kind of healing work we're called

597
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 1: to do on ourselves, whatever self actualization. It's like you

598
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 1: have to learn through pain until you realize you don't.

599
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: You know, like there is this way you can begin

600
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship with yourself where I believe

601
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 1: you can really work with God, work with the energy

602
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: of the universe of humanity to say, like, you know,

603
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 1: I can get that lesson through observation. Show me you

604
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 1: know I can get that observation through like you know,

605
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 1: a twinkling moment.

606
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 2: I can get it through a breakthrough thought.

607
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: I don't always have to wait to get the punch

608
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: in the face, to get the shatter, to get the

609
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 1: devastating blow.

610
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 2: And I think it's important to know that we do

611
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 2: hold that power.

612
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 1: But if we don't feel our emotions, if we don't

613
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: process ourselves, we don't get that option. The only way

614
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 1: to get that option is to choose to feel. And

615
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: much like your therapist said, which is just such a

616
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: powerful truth. It's like it doesn't take as long as

617
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: you think, right, we run from that thing that we

618
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: don't want to think about everybody has that thing. Some

619
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: people have a lot of time those ruminating thoughts, those

620
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: things that no matter.

621
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 2: Where you are.

622
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 1: You could be at your kids game, at your office,

623
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 1: at a concert, you could be alone in your own

624
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: bed thinking about that. It's flashing up and there's no

625
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: stone left unturned. There's no reason to keep cycling it forward. Right,

626
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 1: But that happens because it wants to be brought to

627
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: your review so it can be accepted and released. And

628
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 1: I think we feel like to accept some of the

629
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: harder stories means weakness.

630
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 2: You living is proof of strength. You living is proof of.

631
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 1: Your adaptability and your ability to be resilient. And to

632
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: create the acceptance is just admitting that it happened because

633
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 1: it's true. Not that you liked it, not that it

634
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: broke you, not that it was okay, not that that

635
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: person should be forgiven, none of it. It's just saying

636
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: that it actually did happen. When you see that, when

637
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 1: you look at that, you then get for yourself the

638
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 1: opportunity to change the way that charge feels in your

639
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 1: body when the memory comes back up, and so you'll

640
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 1: find that instead of spending years trying to run from

641
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 1: thinking about it. But it's still like eating a hole

642
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 1: in your brain and your heart every day and the

643
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: gut of your stomach every day.

644
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 2: Instead of it being.

645
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 1: Like that, you look at it, you probably have a

646
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: few really good cries, right, But.

647
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 2: What is wrong with crying?

648
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: It's a biological response, feels good, it's a release. It's

649
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: your body being able to have a response and release

650
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: something that is storing and feeling inside. You'll have a

651
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: few good cries and then you'll notice I don't need

652
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: a cry as hard anymore. Then you'll notice I'm not

653
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 1: actually crying. I'm curious about this pain.

654
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 3: Now.

655
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: Then you'll notice, how is this actually useful to me?

656
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 1: And how can I develop even more esteem and self

657
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: respect for myself because I know what it takes to

658
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,879
Speaker 1: be me. And then that's where power comes and that's

659
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 1: where purpose gets to emerge.

660
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 2: But it's all a.

661
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 1: Process, just like you know for those that have babies.

662
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 1: When you have a baby, the doctors always like hit

663
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: these developmental milestones. You know, they got to do this

664
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 1: before they flip over. Then they got to flip over

665
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 1: before they can crawl. Then they got to crawl before

666
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: they can walk. Right, everything feeds upon itself. It's evolutionary,

667
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 1: but all those steps have to happen at a certain

668
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 1: point for the next step to take place. That is

669
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 1: the same way with our emotional, with our mental, with

670
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,880
Speaker 1: our spiritual, with our physical healing, with all healing. You

671
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 1: have to get your reps in, you have to get

672
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,360
Speaker 1: your practice in, you have to bear witness to it,

673
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: and you have to go step by step developmentally, and

674
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,839
Speaker 1: every step of acceptance of process takes you to the

675
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 1: next till eventually it really is this wisdom that resides

676
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,959
Speaker 1: in you and not this like crushing weight that holds

677
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:00,840
Speaker 1: you back.

678
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 3: Ladies and gentlemen. That is living in wisdom in a nutshell.

679
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 3: That is a Ted Talk straight from Debbie Brown.

680
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:10,359
Speaker 2: I'll be giving my Ted talk. Friend, We're not even

681
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 2: wrapping the podcast.

682
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 3: I was like, that's living in Okay, one more and

683
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,799
Speaker 3: then another stuff and another step. Easier said than done.

684
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 3: Because you and I have talked about this, I would

685
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 3: like and this is and honestly I feel like your

686
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 3: book really it's gonna save souls. You know that because

687
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 3: when you share your story and you were candid and

688
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 3: you show that you can break and you can be

689
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 3: built back again and even better if you will people

690
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,719
Speaker 3: are going to be like, oh okay, this exists. Her

691
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 3: life isn't as perfect as I think it is.

692
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:39,760
Speaker 2: Oh god, no, how.

693
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 3: How uncomfortable I am you You mentioned we're geminized. We

694
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 3: could gemini all day, all through this entire podcast, but

695
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 3: we don't like to share our business.

696
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 2: Oh girl, she just roll her eyes talk to me.

697
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,799
Speaker 2: I asked myself every day, why did you write this?

698
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 3: How did you do it? How did you do it?

699
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 2: Why not? I'm not ashamed of anything in my life.

700
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 2: I'm not ashamed I have it.

701
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 3: When did you arrive? There? Not necessarily be ashamed aspect,

702
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 3: but why not? Why not tell everything? It doesn't mean? Yeah,

703
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,399
Speaker 3: all we can do is help, not harm? When did

704
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 3: you arrive? At that point?

705
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 1: I think that that maybe something that is always up

706
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 1: a review, right, depending on what it is that we're

707
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,359
Speaker 1: working with. But what I will say is that every

708
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 1: story I shared in this book is something that I've

709
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 1: made peace with, and so it's not anything in that

710
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: book does not actively trigger me. It's something that is

711
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 1: many years behind me, and it's also something that even

712
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 1: if I didn't share the full circleness of it in

713
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 1: the book, has come back.

714
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 2: To me full circle.

715
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 1: There has been some kind of restoration, there has been

716
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 1: some kind of healing, there has been a wisdom like

717
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 1: none of it is like outstanding, right, there's no warrants

718
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:55,480
Speaker 1: out for this.

719
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 3: I'm just like I love it.

720
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 2: I'm in accept and.

721
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 1: Said, these experiences were my life. They were, And I

722
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 1: have a life I love, and I think that that

723
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:10,239
Speaker 1: is where ideally you arrive on your journey. It's not

724
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 1: that these things didn't happen to you. It's not that

725
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 1: you know you get to go back in time and

726
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 1: change it and now be happy.

727
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,480
Speaker 2: It's that like, yeah, they happened.

728
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 1: I have found a way to have reverence for those

729
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 1: things and to make them useful to my life and

730
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 1: to use them to serve others. And I have a

731
00:37:30,719 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: beautiful life. I have a life filled with special people.

732
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 1: I love, yourself included. I have an incredible child that

733
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 1: it's like an honor, like an absolute honor to be

734
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: his mother. And just yeah, in so many ways, I

735
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 1: have a life that is filled with adventure, with joy,

736
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:55,400
Speaker 1: with happiness, with challenges, but with a lot of a

737
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:56,760
Speaker 1: lot of specialness.

738
00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 2: And so why not, why not?

739
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 3: Why not? I have reasons I'm not awry, and you

740
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 3: still be my friend. I'm not.

741
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm just not a hut.

742
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 3: I don't have it yet. I'm almost I don't have it.

743
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:11,399
Speaker 3: I'm just talking to the fam.

744
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 2: Well that's absolutely not true in any way.

745
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 3: Almost not quite. I look at you, and all I'm

746
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,879
Speaker 3: thinking is most is what many people think. Gosh, she's

747
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 3: so beautiful, she's so smart, as she's so common. Should

748
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 3: I should I curse in front of her?

749
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 2: Can I curse in front of her? And you know

750
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 2: I feel real?

751
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know I can curse. But this is when

752
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 3: people what people feel when they first meet you, you know,

753
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:35,440
Speaker 3: like so strict, feel like they have to be on

754
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 3: their absolute best behavior.

755
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 2: Git me off the pedestal it.

756
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you, and and that is who you are, true, true,

757
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 3: true drive. And I don't forget a pistol. I'm just

758
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 3: I'm just out here doing it.

759
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,560
Speaker 2: I am flawed. I am never hot.

760
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 3: I don't know anything. I know nothing. I know nothing

761
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:51,320
Speaker 3: about you, being flawed.

762
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:52,840
Speaker 2: Simple, complex, blawed creature.

763
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know what you are is a beautiful

764
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 3: God that's sent here for so many people. We're gonna

765
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 3: take a quick break because we have to pay some bills.

766
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:11,399
Speaker 3: We'll be right back in just a few moments. I

767
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 3: try to take our friendship and use it as a

768
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 3: guide of just what pure love is. I always am.

769
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 3: I am really conscious of this, and I tell her this.

770
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 3: I don't want to give you all my problems and

771
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 3: they make you feel like you got to solve them.

772
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 3: But that's what happens to girlfriends. Like we talk girlfriends

773
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 3: tall him, but let me tell you what he did,

774
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 3: and I just don't want to be with him now,

775
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 3: you know that's that is a constant conversation that we

776
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:37,439
Speaker 3: are having. Oh lordy, do we not do that because

777
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:39,040
Speaker 3: you're playing with her here? Do we not see person

778
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 3: or no personal.

779
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:43,479
Speaker 2: Relations Let's go you first?

780
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 3: Okay, family, have you been dealing with this on?

781
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 2: Tell me? Are you are you dating?

782
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 3: I am dating? I am dating? Uh, every other day

783
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 3: I'm breaking up with my date though true story. But

784
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 3: you said something earlier and I think it's really interesting

785
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 3: and I trust me. I'm going to turn this back

786
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 3: on you. When we feel something you already know when

787
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 3: we feel something good, why are we fighting it?

788
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: So?

789
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 3: When I first started dating this guy, I felt like

790
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 3: a little girl, like it was I was in my

791
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 3: my most my innermost cuddly state, and it felt so

792
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 3: awkward and unfamiliar, and I was fighting it because I

793
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,800
Speaker 3: didn't want to be sweet and so made me so tough.

794
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 3: And then so I lean into the sweet and soft

795
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 3: of it, and I'm like, this, this feels fine, Okay,

796
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 3: I can do this. Oh yeah, let me relax. Yeah?

797
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 3: Why was I fighting it? Why do we do that

798
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:43,359
Speaker 3: as humans? You explained in the book. But why can't

799
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:44,640
Speaker 3: we just rest in whatever this is?

800
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 2: It's so natural and we can it's sure.

801
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, why do we have to just say this feels foreign?

802
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 3: Let me relax into it instead of fighting it?

803
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 2: But why does it have to happen immediately? That's part

804
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 2: of the process. Okay, then won't give me the wisdom.

805
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 2: That's why I'm asking a question.

806
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: That is part of what building love is, right, It's

807
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 1: like moving through your discomfort, through your hang ups, through

808
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: your fears, through your old programs, you know, through also

809
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,720
Speaker 1: your old projections of other people.

810
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 2: I think.

811
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: Joy intimacy takes practice, you know, And I think that's

812
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: the thing that it should be really fair and open

813
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:31,360
Speaker 1: and easy to talk about. Everything takes practice. And earlier

814
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: you said something you were like easier said than done.

815
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 1: And I have like a gripe with that particular statement,

816
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 1: because it's like, yeah, like no one is saying it's

817
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:44,920
Speaker 1: easy though, like I'm saying it with my words, but

818
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 1: I'm letting you know it's hard. It's not easy. That

819
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,920
Speaker 1: it's going to take practice, and that's the thing. Everyone

820
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 1: wants it to happen immediately. And I think even when

821
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 1: we meet people.

822
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 2: It's this idea that like it all has to be

823
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 2: perfect now, but like we have to.

824
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 1: Establish like powerful intimate communication. We have to be willing

825
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 1: to be a little naked in front of each other,

826
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 1: to be a little revealed in front of each other.

827
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 1: And if you do that right away, it absolutely doesn't

828
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: have the same effect. You haven't had the chance for

829
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 1: other parts of you to catch up, you know, to

830
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 1: even understand what that feeling or that experience is. So

831
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 1: it's like, let it happen slowly, let it unfold, and

832
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 1: then when you make yourself cringe, just have grace for

833
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 1: yourself and laugh at yourself and.

834
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 2: Be like, look at me being so cringe, so ridiculous.

835
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 3: I guess age, small ass kid, Like it's all the same, okay,

836
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 3: So going, No, I love that you.

837
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 1: Were talking about like that that nervousness of being able

838
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: to feel soft, because I feel like that's what.

839
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,359
Speaker 2: So many women are coming into right now.

840
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 3: You know.

841
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 1: It's like when we talk about soft girl era, when

842
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 1: we talk about it, and I think this is for

843
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 1: men too, because like, yes, God, men really deserve to

844
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:52,840
Speaker 1: be soft.

845
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 2: They do.

846
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 1: Like men truly deserve to be able to take a

847
00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:00,240
Speaker 1: load off, to be able to not have it all together,

848
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 1: to reveal themselves emotionally, to be held in safe space

849
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: without judgment, with the truth of who they are. And

850
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,799
Speaker 1: you know, men go through a lot a lot of

851
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: things too, like all of us do, but they don't

852
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 1: have as many avenues to emote about it or to

853
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 1: share about it, you know, And so I think that's

854
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: that's really important to keep in mind. But yeah, the softness,

855
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: it's so funny because I feel like whenever I date,

856
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 1: that is what I'm like, why can't you let me

857
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 1: be a lover girl? Like, why can't I just be softy?

858
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 2: I just want to cut my hair?

859
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: And I get this projection, Yeah, let's just let's just

860
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: be like, let me be a sweet girl.

861
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 2: Be a sweet girl. I get this projection.

862
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,799
Speaker 1: One either that I'm like two wise or have it

863
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 1: all together, which I'm not and I don't get.

864
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:50,760
Speaker 2: Me off a pedestal.

865
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:53,319
Speaker 1: But then there's also I get this projection of like

866
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 1: be an aggressive alpha, and I'm like, yeah, sure, I

867
00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 1: can show it powerfully in rooms easily.

868
00:43:59,719 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 3: I can.

869
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:02,279
Speaker 1: Sure, I can. You know, I have a business. I

870
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 1: can show up in spaces and you know, command my worth.

871
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,879
Speaker 1: But with my man no, No, I want to be

872
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 1: I want.

873
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 2: To be soft. I want to be lad. I want

874
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 2: to be Yeah.

875
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 3: Grab me by the hand. Where are we going?

876
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 2: Yeah?

877
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 3: I don't know, Yeah where? Yeah, No, I'll wait for

878
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 3: you to open the car door. I'll just wait here, honey.

879
00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:18,279
Speaker 1: Yeah.

880
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:22,440
Speaker 3: It's very delicate and d I am so dainty. I

881
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:23,760
Speaker 3: am so stafy.

882
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 2: This is us every day on the phone.

883
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 3: This dainty, so fragile. Yeah. And so with that being said,

884
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 3: how's dating for you?

885
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 2: It's fascinating. Dating is so fascinating. I think, like, what.

886
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:47,920
Speaker 3: I'm looking to make sure, I'm looking over to the family.

887
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 3: Am I going to get in trouble for asking that?

888
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:53,479
Speaker 2: I think dating is fascinating. And I think that.

889
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 1: As someone who was married and got divorced and kind

890
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 1: of came back into the dating world after being gone

891
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 1: for a really long time. I personally think dating has

892
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 1: gotten better than it used to be when I was single,

893
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 1: before I got married in my twenties. I feel like

894
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 1: men are so much more communicative now. I feel like

895
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 1: there's like you're looking at me, like what really, you

896
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 1: know they're not.

897
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 2: I saw that little glimmer in your eye. You have

898
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 2: this thing in your eye and I know it's like

899
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 2: clicking and you're.

900
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:31,320
Speaker 3: Like, uh no, no, I'm recalling stories. I'm like, Okay,

901
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:33,439
Speaker 3: that track, that track, That's what I was doing.

902
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:38,600
Speaker 1: I think a lot of men are more communicative, which

903
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:42,799
Speaker 1: is really nice. I think, you know, the thing about

904
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,319
Speaker 1: dating is we're all looking for such different things and

905
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 1: I have a very particular recipe of what I am

906
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,880
Speaker 1: looking for in another person, sure, and I have to

907
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 1: have the patience for what that recipe requires, and I

908
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 1: have to be honest with the fact that that is, yes,

909
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: thing that takes some deep presents.

910
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, I dating is hard. I just think it's that

911
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 3: and it doesn't have to be. But I think it's.

912
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 3: As I've mentioned to you before, and I've seen around,

913
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,360
Speaker 3: it's the only thing you can get ten thousand hours

914
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 3: too and still be like, how do you do this

915
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 3: this whole because you're supposed to be a expert after

916
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:18,799
Speaker 3: ten thousand hours with dating.

917
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,760
Speaker 2: You don't know how that is so funny because.

918
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 3: You're just like, wait, okay, and it's the awkwardness. But

919
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 3: it also goes back to what you've been saying in

920
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:28,920
Speaker 3: your book and what you've been saying, let ourselves just feel. Yeah,

921
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 3: if we just allow ourselves to feel, none of this

922
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 3: would be as difficult as it appears to be allowed

923
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,399
Speaker 3: ourselves to just feel. Which is why I think your

924
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 3: book is a beautiful revelation and such a great gift God,

925
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 3: and get it today wherever you get your books.

926
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 2: Thank you.

927
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 3: We are doing a book signing, yes, Atlanta. So by

928
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 3: the time this podcast airs, we have already did the

929
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 3: book signing and people were banging down the doors. Prince

930
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:57,680
Speaker 3: Charmy was outside waiting for you. He had a carriage,

931
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:00,879
Speaker 3: he came on a white horse. He was like, can

932
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,280
Speaker 3: I take you and whisk you off into the sunset?

933
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 3: All these things have happened. I'm just I'm just manifesting.

934
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,360
Speaker 3: I don't know how I want that. You don't what

935
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:08,400
Speaker 3: would you like?

936
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,800
Speaker 2: I just want someone stable and sturdy and solid.

937
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: But you know, what I wanted to say though, like

938
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:20,719
Speaker 1: last thought about dating would be no, no, I.

939
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 2: You know what, So this is the thing I.

940
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 1: Think, Yes, ma'am, I'm going to ask you a question. Okay, First,

941
00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you when I think of, like

942
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: what what I think is really amazing in another person,

943
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:41,840
Speaker 1: What I would look for in another person, what I

944
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 1: would what I find is attracted.

945
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 3: Okay.

946
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 2: It's like, this is going to sound ridiculous to some people,

947
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 2: but I think it's the highest ideal. It's not.

948
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:53,759
Speaker 1: I don't want the things everybody else wants, but I

949
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 1: want some really big specific things.

950
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 3: You don't want stable, stirty strong, I.

951
00:47:57,600 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 1: Want stable, stirty strong, But I want like emotional depth.

952
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 1: I want great communication. I want integrity. Integrity is the

953
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:13,360
Speaker 1: leader there for me. Integrity, honor, dignity. I feel like

954
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 1: if someone is built with that, everything else is workable,

955
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 1: everything else is figure outable.

956
00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 2: Everything else would just be a plus.

957
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you can figure it out. Just if they

958
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 3: have integrity, if they can communicate, they have emotional depth,

959
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 3: that it's all there. All the tools are there. Now

960
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:34,759
Speaker 3: let's talk about the physical. Is there any particular preference because.

961
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 2: They're doing this?

962
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 3: You just I'm not doing a sturdy and strong I

963
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 3: am following up as Oprah Wood.

964
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:50,719
Speaker 1: You said, Jesus, I have a lot of different types.

965
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 1: It's totally just like, man, give me some great intellect, like,

966
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 1: oh my god, be smart.

967
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:57,640
Speaker 2: Uh have integrity.

968
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 3: There's no physical love. You don't require certain height. You

969
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:03,320
Speaker 3: don't require it because.

970
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say so. Oh okay, yeah, I think I

971
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 2: think I've dated. I've dated people that I'm five eight.

972
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,440
Speaker 1: I've dated someone that is like my heighight, maybe a

973
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 1: little under dated, much taller.

974
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 3: And if they had those qualities you just described in abundance,

975
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 3: they would be attractive anyway. I agree with you, they

976
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,720
Speaker 3: would want to that. You're nothing more your emotional stable

977
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 3: King is around the corner. He's waiting. I feel it.

978
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 3: You're responsible king.

979
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,120
Speaker 2: I'm gonna wait and I'm not hoping. I like, I'm

980
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,839
Speaker 2: living a beautiful full light and I'm taking light.

981
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,280
Speaker 3: I just can I just have somebody walk this journey

982
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 3: with you? Don't you hate your chidents who always want

983
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:37,479
Speaker 3: to get you married.

984
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 2: I don't like that.

985
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 1: Actually I absolutely hate it too, because I think the

986
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 1: thing that I discovered after I got divorced, I didn't

987
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 1: realize women talked about men so much, and it was

988
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 1: kind of like shocking.

989
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,239
Speaker 2: For me and and a little.

990
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 1: Frustrating for me because anytime I get together with a girlfriend,

991
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 1: everybody wants to talk about men. And I'm like, I

992
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,080
Speaker 1: have so many things to talk about. I have so

993
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 1: many other things, and it's always about waiting or wanting

994
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 1: or something coming.

995
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 2: And I'm like, my life is great.

996
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:13,240
Speaker 3: You're busy. I feel busy.

997
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 1: I feel amazing, and I have a lot of fun

998
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:20,240
Speaker 1: and I date and I have I have a full, great, adventurous,

999
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: beautiful life. And I think, why can't that be more

1000
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 1: than enough? And if something takes me by surprise, it will,

1001
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 1: but it's not something I have to like give a

1002
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: lot of thought to. I'm like, surprise me, life, surprise me.

1003
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 3: You're onto something, though, And I don't necessarily think everyone

1004
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 3: women are having the same epiphany you are. Maybe it

1005
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,319
Speaker 3: might be in a different way, but more and more

1006
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 3: you're hearing women being like, no, I'm okay, I'm chill.

1007
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:46,120
Speaker 3: Let me just spend some time with my girls for

1008
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 3: a day. Great, But I'm not forciate. I'm thinking of

1009
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 3: what will happen with Generation Alpha. What I see happening

1010
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 3: now with Generation Z. Like you talk to these these

1011
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 3: people and they're these kids, and they're like, no, I'm cool.

1012
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:01,280
Speaker 3: I know't it's expensive. I'm also that well, I'm gonna

1013
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:03,359
Speaker 3: take some photos. I'm gonna like and too.

1014
00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,360
Speaker 1: Not all dating has to be has to evolve into

1015
00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,839
Speaker 1: something to be valuable, right, Like I feel like I've

1016
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 1: dated a bunch and I've dated some really special people

1017
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 1: that have like a lot to offer. We just weren't

1018
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,439
Speaker 1: compatible in really specific ways. But it's like no one

1019
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 1: was wrong, no one did anything wrong, and there's nothing

1020
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,360
Speaker 1: wrong with them, nothing wrong with me.

1021
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 3: It's just like, wow, I.

1022
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 1: Really like that was special, Like I really enjoyed this time.

1023
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,839
Speaker 1: And I also understand that this may not be the

1024
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 1: pathboard for both of us for whatever reasons. And it's

1025
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:37,840
Speaker 1: like that is okay, you know.

1026
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,360
Speaker 3: Oh, And I don't want to say this. I don't

1027
00:51:42,120 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 3: because I hate when people say it to me. But

1028
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:47,920
Speaker 3: you are a force and it is so hard for

1029
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:51,240
Speaker 3: them to understand all that you are and how humble

1030
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:55,359
Speaker 3: that you are. So I could imagine dating Debby might

1031
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 3: be difficult or some or intimidating to others. Can you

1032
00:51:58,760 --> 00:51:59,359
Speaker 3: read them out?

1033
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,839
Speaker 2: It's fine, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I.

1034
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 3: Know, you know.

1035
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:09,879
Speaker 1: Every everybody got everyone has to Everyone operates in their

1036
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 1: emotional capabilities, right like, everyone operates from the best of

1037
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:17,120
Speaker 1: what they are in each moment, and I think I'm

1038
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 1: just always looking to operate that way too.

1039
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:23,399
Speaker 2: So yeah, I love you. Yeah, And that mean same

1040
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 2: to you. Yeah.

1041
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 3: I mean, damn relationship such as a burden, but I

1042
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:37,520
Speaker 3: just deal it. How much do I love you? This

1043
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 3: is such a beautiful time, Debbie Brown. The book is

1044
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:42,719
Speaker 3: out today right now, go get it wherever you get

1045
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:44,840
Speaker 3: your books. I'll say that if you have listened to

1046
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 3: this podcast and you understand how amazing my friend is,

1047
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 3: she truly is living in wisdom and she just breaks

1048
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:54,280
Speaker 3: it down so simply, so eloquently, and there's no pressure

1049
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 3: to it, even from the theory of who God is

1050
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 3: in your life. There's no pressure to sit with all

1051
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 3: of it. And so I appreciate you. I'm learning so much.

1052
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 2: I really am.

1053
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:06,319
Speaker 3: I love you, I really, I really really amid time.

1054
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 3: Naked Sports written and executive produced by me Kerry Champion,

1055
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:16,799
Speaker 3: produced by Jock Vies Thomas, sound designed and mastered by

1056
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:19,359
Speaker 3: Dwayne Crawford. Naked Sports is a part of the Black

1057
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:24,279
Speaker 3: Effect Podcast Network, in iHeartMedia,