1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:01,560
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam.

2
00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:04,320
Speaker 2: This is John, the og story Time podcast host.

3
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:06,200
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we got some great stories coming up.

4
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,639
Speaker 2: But before that, we got a teeny two minute break

5
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,600
Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

6
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:12,280
Speaker 2: a little house.

7
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:16,120
Speaker 3: Oh you, My wife lied to me for years and

8
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:17,520
Speaker 3: now I understand.

9
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,480
Speaker 1: Why what she lie about?

10
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,320
Speaker 3: Uh? And we have a trigger warning four mentions of apps.

11
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,480
Speaker 3: I thirty seven male, found out that my partner, twenty

12
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,400
Speaker 3: eight female of six years, has been lying to me

13
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:33,280
Speaker 3: about everything about herself, including her parents passing. Our son

14
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:36,360
Speaker 3: was seven months old when the lies came out. Otherwise

15
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,600
Speaker 3: the decision would have been easier. He's sixteen months now.

16
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,080
Speaker 3: My head and heart are broken by the way this

17
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,600
Speaker 3: comes from compulsive liar broken And if you want to

18
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,120
Speaker 3: submit your own stories.

19
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,720
Speaker 4: Go to the arslash Okay storytime subreddit.

20
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,120
Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Carly's boyfriend Keon, and we're here to.

21
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:52,760
Speaker 4: Give good advice.

22
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,400
Speaker 3: Goofully, but we don't have all the answers. We really

23
00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:56,840
Speaker 3: know what we would do, so let us know what

24
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,400
Speaker 3: you would do in the comments. And Op says, I

25
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,320
Speaker 3: love this girl so much, but the sheer volume of

26
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,840
Speaker 3: lies has absolutely broken me. Driving she said, she drove

27
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,039
Speaker 3: a company car but couldn't drive for personal use when

28
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,920
Speaker 3: she moved in with me. She got a new job

29
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,360
Speaker 3: and walked to work as it was close, so she

30
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,160
Speaker 3: said she didn't need a personal car anyway. Truth is

31
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,320
Speaker 3: she can't drive. Her education. She said she got all

32
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,679
Speaker 3: A stars in her A levels and was in the

33
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:26,080
Speaker 3: local paper for this achievement, the highest possible in the UK.

34
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,920
Speaker 3: Truth is she has average grades, not that this would

35
00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:32,800
Speaker 3: ever matter. Her job she said she was a financial analyst.

36
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,640
Speaker 3: Truth is she's a customer advisor. Again, not that this

37
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:39,480
Speaker 3: would ever matter. Accepted to dentistry. She knew this was

38
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,440
Speaker 3: my profession, so I think she was trying to build

39
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:41,880
Speaker 3: a connection.

40
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,240
Speaker 4: She wasn't accepted. She didn't even apply or want to

41
00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:45,520
Speaker 4: do it.

42
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:49,040
Speaker 3: She actually lied to mirror my interests a lot.

43
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,440
Speaker 4: Her parents passing.

44
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,840
Speaker 3: She said her parents passed away in a car accident

45
00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,560
Speaker 3: when she was eleven. Truth is her mom passed away

46
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,520
Speaker 3: when she was fourteen, and her dad recently passed away.

47
00:01:58,760 --> 00:01:59,080
Speaker 2: Brother.

48
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,000
Speaker 4: I have little no idea she has a brother.

49
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,600
Speaker 3: There were countless other little lies, things like pretending to

50
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,160
Speaker 3: win awards at work, or saying she bumped into her

51
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,680
Speaker 3: ex and he asked to sleep with her. Whenever I

52
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,919
Speaker 3: would question her if things didn't add up, she would

53
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,120
Speaker 3: gaslight me and continue to lie. I feel stupid for

54
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,959
Speaker 3: not figuring this out sooner, but she was just so convincing.

55
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,960
Speaker 3: I feel so betrayed as we have spent years having

56
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,040
Speaker 3: conversations about stuff that was never true.

57
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,000
Speaker 4: I feel like I don't really know who she.

58
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,280
Speaker 3: Is anymore, and that I fell in love with a fantasy.

59
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,640
Speaker 3: She also lived a couple hours away from me, and

60
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,200
Speaker 3: whenever I suggested going to visit her, she would say

61
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,960
Speaker 3: she's working closer to me that weekend, so there's no point.

62
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,240
Speaker 3: This never really added up, as it literally took years

63
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,880
Speaker 3: until I went to her hometown. I just had to

64
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,920
Speaker 3: turn up one day to surprise her, as she was

65
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,679
Speaker 3: always make excuses. She was obviously trying to keep me

66
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,639
Speaker 3: away from her town in case any of her lies

67
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,960
Speaker 3: came out. She used to say she's had that much

68
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,360
Speaker 3: trauma with her parents car crash in her hometown that

69
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,040
Speaker 3: she would prefer to visit me, so it was always.

70
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,440
Speaker 4: A sensitive topic to bring up as well.

71
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,639
Speaker 3: I randomly found out the truth because I was looking

72
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:03,960
Speaker 3: in the loft for some old stuff and stumbled across

73
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:09,160
Speaker 3: her actual educational certificates. This opened up the can of worms. However,

74
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,640
Speaker 3: she did keep lying, and it was only until I

75
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,720
Speaker 3: messaged her sister that her sister told me everything. When

76
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,960
Speaker 3: I confronted my partner, she again continued to lie, but

77
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,239
Speaker 3: then eventually.

78
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,440
Speaker 4: Told the truth.

79
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,160
Speaker 3: I spoke with her oldest sister alone, and.

80
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,360
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure all the truth is out now.

81
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,679
Speaker 3: She has three older half sisters, the same mom, different dad.

82
00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:31,000
Speaker 3: They initially lived with my partner growing up, but left

83
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,720
Speaker 3: when my partner's dad moved into their home. Her sister

84
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,320
Speaker 3: told me stories of how my partner's dad would be

85
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:40,560
Speaker 3: throwing plates, axes glasses all around the house, so the

86
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,920
Speaker 3: sisters all moved out to live with either their own

87
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,000
Speaker 3: dad or to leave the country entirely.

88
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:49,600
Speaker 1: I like how it went from plates, axes, is in glasses.

89
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,920
Speaker 3: I know her sister wasn't lying, as I called her

90
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,400
Speaker 3: first before confronting my partner about the lies. Her sister

91
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,080
Speaker 3: told me stuff that I had not even suspected. She

92
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,320
Speaker 3: was so worried for my partner that she wanted to

93
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,360
Speaker 3: get all the truth out, as she had no idea

94
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:06,320
Speaker 3: how bad my partner's lying had become. Her sister invited

95
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,720
Speaker 3: me to her home to show me photos and explain

96
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,040
Speaker 3: what had happened to them as kids. She even told

97
00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,160
Speaker 3: me how their mom used to pick on my partner

98
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,720
Speaker 3: for her lying, even singing this song to her about lying,

99
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:20,120
Speaker 3: and also had a nickname for her about being a liar. Basically,

100
00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,560
Speaker 3: she has had a terribly awful upbringing and she's lied

101
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,039
Speaker 3: so much in order to try and cover up this past.

102
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,200
Speaker 3: She also said she never felt good enough for me,

103
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,360
Speaker 3: so she wanted to impress me. When the mom passed

104
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,159
Speaker 3: away when my partner was fourteen, the kids were put

105
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,160
Speaker 3: with the aunt, who was also treating them badly. As

106
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:38,920
Speaker 3: soon as my partner was old enough to get a

107
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,000
Speaker 3: job and move out, she did she was seventeen. Her

108
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,200
Speaker 3: brother then went back to the dad as he wanted

109
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,080
Speaker 3: a parental figure in his life. This is why my

110
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,560
Speaker 3: partner never mentioned the brother, as she didn't want me

111
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,279
Speaker 3: to find out about the dad. So basically, there was

112
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,840
Speaker 3: a tremendous amount of childhood trauma which has caused her

113
00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:58,560
Speaker 3: to have a lot of issues, resulting in her being

114
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,760
Speaker 3: a compulsive liar. Her sister said she always lied, but

115
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,440
Speaker 3: they were always little lies, not big ones like these,

116
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,279
Speaker 3: she said she lied as she felt ashamed of what

117
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,919
Speaker 3: happened to her. She was embarrassed to tell me, and

118
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,880
Speaker 3: she never felt good enough for me. She's such an amazing,

119
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,120
Speaker 3: sweet person and we just always got on so well.

120
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,800
Speaker 3: But I'm just finding it so difficult as we've spent

121
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,520
Speaker 3: so many years together, having so many deep conversations, and

122
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:23,640
Speaker 3: none of it was real.

123
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,360
Speaker 4: Obviously, the trust.

124
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,520
Speaker 3: Has been completely demolished, and my head is all over

125
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,240
Speaker 3: the place with the situation I find myself in. I

126
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,560
Speaker 3: have been very lucky with my life. I have a

127
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,560
Speaker 3: great family, a large group of close friends. I've been

128
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,200
Speaker 3: very fortunate with my career and education as well.

129
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,600
Speaker 4: So maybe this intimidated.

130
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,880
Speaker 3: My partner and made her feel like she needed to

131
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,360
Speaker 3: hype the truth even more. I'd hope that I'm not

132
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,200
Speaker 3: doing anything to make her feel like she has to lie.

133
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,719
Speaker 3: I've never had this problem with any other relationships. My

134
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:55,600
Speaker 3: partner is absolutely stunning, but she does often say how

135
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,280
Speaker 3: she doesn't feel good enough for me. This definitely stems

136
00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:02,080
Speaker 3: from insecurities, as she is gorgeous and I often compliment her.

137
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,760
Speaker 3: But if your own parents don't love you, I suppose

138
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,760
Speaker 3: she struggles to accept love praise or to feel good

139
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,839
Speaker 3: enough for people. My partner has started therapy and wants

140
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,800
Speaker 3: to get better, but I'm not sure if too much

141
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,279
Speaker 3: damage has been done in a weird way. If I

142
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,840
Speaker 3: try to reframe what happened as my partner trying to

143
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,040
Speaker 3: protect and impress me, then it doesn't feel as bad.

144
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,200
Speaker 4: But other days I just feel so.

145
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,680
Speaker 3: Lost, confused, and betrayed. I stayed in a separate room

146
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,760
Speaker 3: for a few months just to let the dust settle.

147
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,520
Speaker 3: I spoke with my family and close friends, and they

148
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,000
Speaker 3: pretty much all said I'd regret it if I didn't

149
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,119
Speaker 3: at least give it another try. As everyone always says

150
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,000
Speaker 3: how amazing, kind and nice she is. This is what

151
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,159
Speaker 3: I'm currently doing. I think the sobering fact is that

152
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,200
Speaker 3: we all pretty much know that if we didn't have

153
00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,440
Speaker 3: a son together, then I would have just left the relationship,

154
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,640
Speaker 3: as too much damage has been done, especially to the trust.

155
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,440
Speaker 3: My partner initially went for individual therapy. However, they quickly

156
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,640
Speaker 3: recommended couples therapy. We have done couple's therapy for a

157
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,320
Speaker 3: few months now together, and as part of that they

158
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,360
Speaker 3: also have a few individual sessions with us and then

159
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,279
Speaker 3: go back to the couples. The couple's therapist has suggested

160
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,200
Speaker 3: that my partner should apply back for individual therapy in

161
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,280
Speaker 3: a couple of months, as she feels this is significantly

162
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,920
Speaker 3: more important at this stage. She has so many good

163
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,000
Speaker 3: qualities as well as her obvious flaws. But I kind

164
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,520
Speaker 3: of just feel trapped now in a situation that was

165
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,760
Speaker 3: never allowed to consciously decide for myself. I feel like

166
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,640
Speaker 3: I've had the opportunity to make an informed decision on

167
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,440
Speaker 3: my own life stolen from me, and it's really difficult

168
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,160
Speaker 3: to come to terms with. It's almost been a year now,

169
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,000
Speaker 3: but there's literally not been one day where my mind

170
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,559
Speaker 3: isn't racing about all the lies she's so effortlessly told.

171
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,760
Speaker 3: It's the gas lighting that really hits hard, because there

172
00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,280
Speaker 3: were so many times where I'd question things that didn't

173
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:48,800
Speaker 3: add up, but she just kept lying and lying until

174
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,560
Speaker 3: I gave up questioning. The thought of my partner and

175
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,760
Speaker 3: my son being in a home possibly struggling without me

176
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:58,080
Speaker 3: is heartbreaking. Or me dropping him off and knowing I

177
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,400
Speaker 3: won't see him a few again for a few days,

178
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,400
Speaker 3: it just makes me so sad. I would never just

179
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,160
Speaker 3: leave my son, though she definitely isn't well from all

180
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,320
Speaker 3: of the trauma. Having said that, she is honestly a

181
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:10,320
Speaker 3: fantastic mother.

182
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:15,440
Speaker 1: Final thoughts, oohe, that is a that is a lot

183
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,880
Speaker 1: to consume right there. I think this is something you

184
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,520
Speaker 1: just you go in, day in, day out. Ope, you're

185
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,280
Speaker 1: doing the therapy, you're doing canceled a couple's therapy. It's

186
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,800
Speaker 1: just you ride this wave. You know there's gonna be

187
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,440
Speaker 1: good days, there's gonna be bad days. I know it's

188
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:32,199
Speaker 1: gonna be. I think you probably made that very clear.

189
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,559
Speaker 1: It's gonna be very hard to build that trust back up,

190
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,640
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be running through your brain, like you

191
00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,720
Speaker 1: take everything she says with a grain of salt now

192
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,240
Speaker 1: of like is that true? It does suck? Well, you

193
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,839
Speaker 1: found out the truth again where the stem from. Again,

194
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,640
Speaker 1: she had a very rough childhood and that definitely comes

195
00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:52,360
Speaker 1: from that. It's something that you can't just you know,

196
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,920
Speaker 1: in a week, yeah that looks good, or in a

197
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,439
Speaker 1: month it looks to look good. It's it's gonna be

198
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,040
Speaker 1: a day and day out thing until that either a

199
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:02,680
Speaker 1: your trust is completely back up with her and that's great,

200
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,640
Speaker 1: or be you're just you know, you live it and

201
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,240
Speaker 1: you just see how it goes day in day out,

202
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,200
Speaker 1: and it sucks. But it seems like especially for you,

203
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,000
Speaker 1: I know, it's very hard. I'm trying to put myself

204
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,199
Speaker 1: in your shoes and trying to understand because that's I

205
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,520
Speaker 1: could could I imagine if you just lied to me

206
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:21,400
Speaker 1: about pretty much everything and you're like, and the fact is,

207
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,880
Speaker 1: she never came. It was a snowball. It was a

208
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,480
Speaker 1: snowball rolling down the hill, rolling down the mountain that

209
00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:28,720
Speaker 1: just little lies here, little lives there. It's just little

210
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:33,400
Speaker 1: snowballs that turned into a giant avalanche. And uh, she

211
00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,000
Speaker 1: got caught. She didn't tell you the truth. So I

212
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,480
Speaker 1: don't know what would you do if I would you

213
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:41,160
Speaker 1: caught me lying to you about everything?

214
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,880
Speaker 4: I don't know, Like I said earlier, it's earlier, it's very.

215
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,240
Speaker 3: Situational, like I would need to know why, I would

216
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,559
Speaker 3: need to know, like how much I would need to know,

217
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:52,439
Speaker 3: like what factors it would change kind of going forward

218
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,199
Speaker 3: kind of thing, because it's a lot to be uh,

219
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,360
Speaker 3: given all at once and to find.

220
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,680
Speaker 1: Out, Yeah, especially over the years and you get you

221
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,760
Speaker 1: share child, I think it's just communicate everything clearly. Is

222
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,760
Speaker 1: like some days I like, hey, I can't trust you

223
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:09,360
Speaker 1: or hey, look, you know, was that true. I think

224
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,199
Speaker 1: it's just the honest, honest situation. You just can't live that,

225
00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,280
Speaker 1: you know, that life where you're always uncertain, But you

226
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,360
Speaker 1: know that's just the fact of the matter. Just keep

227
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,560
Speaker 1: doing your therapy. I'm happy that you are giving her

228
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,440
Speaker 1: another chance. If she continued to lie, then it, yes,

229
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,400
Speaker 1: it would be very shaky. But if she's trying to

230
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,240
Speaker 1: really work on it and change how her her mind

231
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,880
Speaker 1: and how her brain works, it's not gonna, you know,

232
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:35,320
Speaker 1: change overnight. It's this was years of trauma and why

233
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,000
Speaker 1: she gets kept lying and why she is a compulsive liar.

234
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,679
Speaker 1: So I know you're trying to understand and you're working

235
00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:44,680
Speaker 1: on it with her, and she's working on it, so

236
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,040
Speaker 1: that's at least positive. But yeah, just you just ride

237
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,240
Speaker 1: that wave. You know you can't. You can't force it.

238
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,679
Speaker 3: She loves her son so much and honestly never feel

239
00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:55,080
Speaker 3: like she'd do any harm to him.

240
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:56,400
Speaker 4: He is her world.

241
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,080
Speaker 3: She looks after him so well, and I think because

242
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,600
Speaker 3: of her own upbringing, it's made her want to ensure

243
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,600
Speaker 3: he doesn't experience anything like what she did. I do

244
00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,079
Speaker 3: worry about her lying to him as well. She has

245
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,800
Speaker 3: said that she's actively trying to stop her lies. So

246
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,040
Speaker 3: I suppose time will tell we're not married.

247
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,600
Speaker 4: By the way, we live together in.

248
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,680
Speaker 3: My home that I own outright, and we have a child,

249
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:16,160
Speaker 3: but no.

250
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,280
Speaker 4: Marriage or mortgage.

251
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,559
Speaker 3: Any advice is greatly appreciated, and that is the end

252
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:21,200
Speaker 3: of that story.

253
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:25,160
Speaker 1: My girlfriend said we were exclusive during dating, but talks

254
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,000
Speaker 1: to another guy.

255
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,880
Speaker 4: That doesn't sound very exclusive at.

256
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:33,640
Speaker 1: The time, she was not technically my girlfriend. Rachel twenty

257
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,760
Speaker 1: two female and I twenty two male, attend the same

258
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,800
Speaker 1: university and went on a few dates in early twenty twenty,

259
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,400
Speaker 1: which were seriously some of the best dates I've ever

260
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,600
Speaker 1: been on. Then the VID hit and we weren't sure

261
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,800
Speaker 1: when we would see each other again because at that

262
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,840
Speaker 1: time we did not realize how long the VID would

263
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,920
Speaker 1: go for. By the way, this comes from user need

264
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,280
Speaker 1: a better outlook and if you want submit your own stories,

265
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,360
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay storytime severed it.

266
00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:01,760
Speaker 3: I'm Keon, I'm Carly Keon's girl, all friends and we're

267
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:02,600
Speaker 3: here to give good advice.

268
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,040
Speaker 1: Goofly, but we do not have all the answers. We

269
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,880
Speaker 1: only know what we'd do, so please let us know

270
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,000
Speaker 1: what you'd do as oh, he says. We continue texting

271
00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,680
Speaker 1: every day and started facetiming a couple times per week.

272
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,640
Speaker 1: This went on for almost four months, about a month

273
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,640
Speaker 1: or two prior to our first date. I did not

274
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,840
Speaker 1: know the specifics of the timeline exactly. Rachel matched with

275
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,080
Speaker 1: Eugene twenty two mail on Bumble. They talked for a

276
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,880
Speaker 1: little and hooked up a couple times before deciding they

277
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,720
Speaker 1: weren't compatible. I guess they remained friends, and when Rachel

278
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,280
Speaker 1: mentioned him to me, she said that she has absolutely

279
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,600
Speaker 1: no interest in him. This did not bother me since

280
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,560
Speaker 1: it was before we had met, and I had my

281
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,880
Speaker 1: share of experience with other girls prior to us meeting

282
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,800
Speaker 1: as well, though I did not remain very close with

283
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:48,199
Speaker 1: any of them. Rachel and I had never officially started dating,

284
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,120
Speaker 1: and we're only in the talking stage. However, we had

285
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,480
Speaker 1: we had on multiple occasions and discussions about how neither

286
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,920
Speaker 1: of us was seeing anyone else and had no interest

287
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,000
Speaker 1: in other people are sowy thoughts. Then, over the summer,

288
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,280
Speaker 1: she told me that she felt too busy with her

289
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,839
Speaker 1: work and everything else going on to give the relationship

290
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,640
Speaker 1: the time that it deserved. Her exact words and texts

291
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,800
Speaker 1: were I'm just getting busy here and it's a lot

292
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,200
Speaker 1: less stressful if I have to be thinking of when

293
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk with you and all that. But she

294
00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:17,600
Speaker 1: would send a couple texts, but for the most part

295
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,440
Speaker 1: wait until the fall to continue things, which is about

296
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,400
Speaker 1: two months away. I was disappointed, but also working forty

297
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,160
Speaker 1: plus hours per week at an internship, so I was

298
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,440
Speaker 1: busy anyway and passed the time. I also specifically asked

299
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,640
Speaker 1: if there was another guy, and she assured me that

300
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,360
Speaker 1: there was not, and she was not talking to anyone else,

301
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,520
Speaker 1: and that she really was just too busy with everything

302
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,240
Speaker 1: to feel like she could provide the commitment I deserved.

303
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,080
Speaker 1: She did not make it until the fall, however, and

304
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,000
Speaker 1: exactly five weeks later, texted me and rekindled things. Once

305
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,480
Speaker 1: the false semester began, we started seeing each other in

306
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,720
Speaker 1: person again, talking daily and going on dates, and things

307
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:56,079
Speaker 1: started to get more serious. However, at the time, she

308
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,720
Speaker 1: was afraid of labeling things and preferred to say that

309
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:03,200
Speaker 1: we were seeing each other exclusively, but not boyfriend flash girlfriend.

310
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:07,000
Speaker 1: I said that was fine, but after about five months

311
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,280
Speaker 1: of this, it became clear that I was looking for

312
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,520
Speaker 1: something more serious than she was, and we parted ways.

313
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:16,280
Speaker 1: She was the one who ended things, not surprising about

314
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,800
Speaker 1: two months into those five So two months after she

315
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,320
Speaker 1: rekindled things, I asked if she did anything with other

316
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,240
Speaker 1: people during the five week break that we took. This

317
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,800
Speaker 1: is when she informed me that she did not do

318
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:29,560
Speaker 1: anything physical with other guys, but did exchange explicit photos

319
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:33,560
Speaker 1: and videos with her bff, Eugene. I do not know

320
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,360
Speaker 1: exactly when in those five weeks it occurred, how many

321
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,200
Speaker 1: times it occurred, or how many photos and videos were shared.

322
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,280
Speaker 1: All I know is that she sent at least six

323
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:44,040
Speaker 1: photos of herself and at least two videos on one occasion,

324
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,400
Speaker 1: and that he shared similar Additionally, I know that it

325
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,480
Speaker 1: began after a day of playfully flirting, which she says

326
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,880
Speaker 1: was normal between them and never spicy related in the past,

327
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,880
Speaker 1: but that day was different. She also insisted that it

328
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,760
Speaker 1: meant nothing. I was clearly quite hurt by this, but

329
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,960
Speaker 1: stuck with her and she continued her friendship with Eugene.

330
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,080
Speaker 1: I told her that it made me uncomfortable that she

331
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,680
Speaker 1: would text him every other day in FaceTime, but she

332
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,440
Speaker 1: insisted that they were only friends. She would also tend

333
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:14,000
Speaker 1: to get upset with me when I mentioned it bothering

334
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,600
Speaker 1: me because she claims that since we weren't dating at

335
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,600
Speaker 1: the time, she was completely in the right to send

336
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,160
Speaker 1: him photos and videos. She also did not like it

337
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,440
Speaker 1: when I said that even if she no longer is

338
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,480
Speaker 1: interested in him, he is clearly still into her. She

339
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,080
Speaker 1: would get angry at this because I was discounting the

340
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,520
Speaker 1: strength and foundation of their friendship, that it isn't just

341
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,720
Speaker 1: spicy related. I trusted that she was no longer doing

342
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,920
Speaker 1: anything spicy related with him, and things between us were fine,

343
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,000
Speaker 1: but I never got an actual closure with the situation.

344
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,560
Speaker 3: So we're not gonna date Ray.

345
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,720
Speaker 1: So you're gonna get your at least your closure, right, We're.

346
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:51,920
Speaker 3: Gonna get closure back. Closing off this relationship.

347
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,720
Speaker 1: You're you're setting up boundary in what we want right,

348
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:59,480
Speaker 1: You're starting to set at least a genuine compromise of Hey, Op.

349
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:00,040
Speaker 4: I fear you'd do.

350
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,320
Speaker 3: You now have the information, and I'm not blaming you,

351
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:03,440
Speaker 3: but we should just end this.

352
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:04,560
Speaker 4: I say, get out here.

353
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 3: We don't need this weird, weird lady in our lives.

354
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,480
Speaker 1: Guess what, Op says. Our breakup months later was very

355
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,760
Speaker 1: clean and after things ended between us. I was sad

356
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,640
Speaker 1: for a while, but moved on and completely forgot about

357
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,800
Speaker 1: the whole Eugene thing. Okay, fast forward nearly eleven months

358
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 1: of not talking to each other at all outside of

359
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 1: about five text total, which were to be honest, irrelevant,

360
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,200
Speaker 1: and she hit me up asking if I would be

361
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,160
Speaker 1: willing to talk over cafe. I agree to, since we

362
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,200
Speaker 1: had an extremely amicable breakup before and neither harbored any

363
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,960
Speaker 1: ill will towards the other. Seeing her again reminded me

364
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,120
Speaker 1: of all the great times we had and reminded me

365
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,240
Speaker 1: of how happy spending time with her makes me. Additionally,

366
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,640
Speaker 1: in the time of way, she had started seeing a

367
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,880
Speaker 1: therapist and work through her issues with labels and commitment,

368
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,080
Speaker 1: et cetera. She seems to be in a lot better

369
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,440
Speaker 1: headspace in general now than she was before. I did

370
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,120
Speaker 1: not initially intend to get back together with her, which

371
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,280
Speaker 1: you shouldn't, but we hung out a couple times and

372
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,320
Speaker 1: she apologized for how she treated me in the past

373
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,840
Speaker 1: and told me about a lot of her personal growth

374
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,199
Speaker 1: over the past eleven months. She also mentioned that I

375
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,000
Speaker 1: was right about Eugene, because about five months after our breakup,

376
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,399
Speaker 1: he called her, explaining that he and his girlfriend just

377
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,600
Speaker 1: broke up and wanted to have spicy sleep with Rachel,

378
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:16,040
Speaker 1: which she found gross and offensive. Flag on the play.

379
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,520
Speaker 1: So after hanging out a few times, we started going

380
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,919
Speaker 1: on what are clearly dates and she tells me that

381
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,359
Speaker 1: she view really we wely likes me and wants something

382
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,679
Speaker 1: serious with me this time. Plot twist. I tell her

383
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,560
Speaker 1: that I'm not sure this time and want to take

384
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,600
Speaker 1: things slowly and figure things out, which she agrees is fair.

385
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,239
Speaker 1: That was about two months ago, for those of you

386
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,320
Speaker 1: that couldn't follow my convoluted story. At this point, we

387
00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,600
Speaker 1: have known each other for about two years and have

388
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,040
Speaker 1: been some form of dating for almost twelve months. I

389
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,480
Speaker 1: really started to fall for her and want to be

390
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,120
Speaker 1: with her, but being with her again has brought back

391
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 1: up all the old hurt and confusion surrounding the Eugene situation.

392
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:54,199
Speaker 1: I wrought it up recently with her to talk about it,

393
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,439
Speaker 1: but it did not go so well. Apparently she mentioned

394
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,000
Speaker 1: me to Eugene well before the incident occurred, but he

395
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,200
Speaker 1: did not care and he's still participated. Additionally, I saw

396
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,520
Speaker 1: someone's feedback on a different post about if someone is

397
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 1: really a friend, then they would be interested in meeting

398
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,040
Speaker 1: their friend's love interest and potentially inviting them into the

399
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,920
Speaker 1: friend group. But I still have never met Eugene, as

400
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 1: he has expressed no interest in ever speaking to me

401
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 1: or meeting You.

402
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 4: Don't need to meet Eugene. He's not even friends with

403
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:21,919
Speaker 4: this girl anymore.

404
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,640
Speaker 1: My guy, Eugene is your op? Why are you? Why

405
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:25,800
Speaker 1: do you keep bringing Eugene up?

406
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,280
Speaker 3: Why are we talking to this girl still moved on?

407
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,320
Speaker 1: Plus, I know of a few negative things he has

408
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 1: said about me to Rachel, but those are not really

409
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,960
Speaker 1: a big deal. She's still friends with him. Why why

410
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,359
Speaker 1: if she said I'm still friends with Eugene, I'd be like,

411
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:41,680
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't think I can do this

412
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 1: relationship with you.

413
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,040
Speaker 3: Hey, I don't think I can do this relationship after

414
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,919
Speaker 3: you just told me that he flat out said that

415
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,719
Speaker 3: he wanted to sleep with you after he broke up

416
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:50,440
Speaker 3: with his girlfriend.

417
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,200
Speaker 1: She is still friends with him, but they talk significantly

418
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,240
Speaker 1: less after his phone call begging for spicy sleep. I'm

419
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:59,080
Speaker 1: not bothered by the guys that she has seen since

420
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,480
Speaker 1: our breakup, since we we were totally broken up. But

421
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,159
Speaker 1: I'm still very hurt by the Eugene stuff because I

422
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,680
Speaker 1: thought it was just a break and we were exclusive

423
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 1: even if we did not use the conventional labels. Also,

424
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 1: I am bothered by her continuing friendship with him. Then

425
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:13,640
Speaker 1: stop talking to her.

426
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, o, Pie, I don't want you to think that

427
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,480
Speaker 3: we're saying that this is like on you per se,

428
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,760
Speaker 3: but like we have all the facts now, we're not

429
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 3: happy with them, and we're just staying why.

430
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 1: Because he has the rose tinted glasses on thank em

431
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 1: off where I currently stand on things. I weally weally

432
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 1: like Rachel, and I'm happiest when I spend time with her. Also,

433
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,440
Speaker 1: she's had a lot of personal growth since the first

434
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 1: time we dated, and things between us are better than ever.

435
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,359
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I feel discussed when I

436
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 1: think about the Eugene situation. Don't have any real closure,

437
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 1: and it's hard to get because she understands that I

438
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,159
Speaker 1: am still hurt by it, but she has moved past it,

439
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 1: So it's hard to talk about and have legitimate emotional

440
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,520
Speaker 1: breakdowns when I am sad and alone at night, or

441
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,480
Speaker 1: even think about sending any sort of playful, slash spicy

442
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,040
Speaker 1: text to her. Boy Oh boy, Opie, I.

443
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 3: Fear you are walking into a path of self destruction. You,

444
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 3: I say self because you have the facts.

445
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 4: And you're still doing it.

446
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 1: You just keep doing this thing and you think, uh, yeah,

447
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,159
Speaker 1: she's done a lot of personal growth, but has she

448
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,800
Speaker 1: done Like even.

449
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,399
Speaker 3: If someone does that though, that doesn't necessarily mean that

450
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,480
Speaker 3: it's like your time to give them that second chance,

451
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,920
Speaker 3: Like you can still move on and you can still say, hey,

452
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,080
Speaker 3: when we were together, you messed up. And I can't

453
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 3: get past.

454
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 1: That thank you because I was gonna say, Opie, have

455
00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 1: you done any personal growth? Because you're you're like every

456
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,439
Speaker 1: time this girl comes back around, you're like, you go

457
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 1: back to step one.

458
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 4: Have personal growth of your own self.

459
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 1: Worth personally, you should grow up and get away from Rachel.

460
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 1: She's I mean, she may be a great person, but

461
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,359
Speaker 1: the way she has you wrapped around her finger is

462
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,440
Speaker 1: just brother just like if it's making you stressed out

463
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 1: or like she you can't get clarity or closure on

464
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,560
Speaker 1: that situation. Again, that's her. That's her situation for her

465
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,440
Speaker 1: to handle. And sure it may bother you, but if

466
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 1: it's gonna be keep coming up, and it's just got

467
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 1: to bother you. With her friendship with Eugene whatever that is,

468
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,160
Speaker 1: and she's not gonna change that. Why do we keep

469
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 1: bothering with this? Let's go ahead and finish up the story.

470
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,200
Speaker 1: I need advice on what I should do and more importantly,

471
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,879
Speaker 1: the mindset I should have. Ideally, I would like to

472
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 1: stay with her slash dates seriously, and I have a

473
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,159
Speaker 1: mindset that I can use to move past it and

474
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 1: think about whenever I start to feel down slash insecure

475
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 1: or alternatively, I shouldn't be with her.

476
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, that one, that one back?

477
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 1: There you go. Then I need advice on the mindset

478
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 1: to be able to not feel so hurt and said

479
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 1: about not being with her. I don't feel like I

480
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,679
Speaker 1: have anyone I can really talk about with this. I

481
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:39,719
Speaker 1: don't want to tell my friends about the Eugene stuff,

482
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 1: so alas I'm consulting strangers on the internet. Any advice

483
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: on what I should do and how I should approach

484
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 1: it mentally would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. And that's

485
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 1: the end of his story. We're gonna go on to

486
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:50,880
Speaker 1: the next one.

487
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 3: My boyfriend confess that he resents my past while we

488
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,119
Speaker 3: plan our wedding.

489
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 1: Ooh, what happened in your past?

490
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,879
Speaker 3: I'm a twenty three year old woman and my boyfriend

491
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 3: twenty five. I'll call him Dan for this post. To

492
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 3: give you some context, I'll briefly tell you how we met.

493
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 3: When I was nineteen, I must confess.

494
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 4: I was living a wildlife.

495
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,679
Speaker 3: I had just moved out of my parents' house to

496
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,879
Speaker 3: go to college, and for the first time in my life,

497
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 3: I experienced true freedom.

498
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,120
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes.

499
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,120
Speaker 3: From Lonely Hamster ninety nine seventeen. And if you want

500
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 3: us to make your own stories, go to the r

501
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 3: slash okay storytime subreddit.

502
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 4: I'm Carly, I'm.

503
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 1: Keon, and we're.

504
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 3: Here to give good advice goofully, but we don't have

505
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 3: all the answers. We only know what we would do,

506
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 3: So let us know what you would do in the

507
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 3: comments and Opie says, I came from a home with

508
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:39,959
Speaker 3: overprotective parents who constantly stopped me from going out. I

509
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 3: consider myself an extroverted person and have always enjoyed going

510
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 3: out and having fun with my friends. During that time,

511
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 3: I used to have one night stance with people I

512
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,399
Speaker 3: met at parties. If I felt that a person and

513
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 3: I had chemistry, I didn't see why we couldn't spend

514
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 3: time together as long as we both agreed and use protection.

515
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 3: I've always thought that the idea that only men can

516
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 3: enjoy their spicy related life is quite sexist. It should

517
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 3: be noted that during this time I wasn't in any

518
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,640
Speaker 3: formal relationship with anyone. Dan and I were friends who

519
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,120
Speaker 3: had known each other for two years through social media.

520
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 3: The truth is the way we met in person wasn't

521
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,959
Speaker 3: so conventional, since I was kissing someone at that party.

522
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,360
Speaker 3: A few weeks later, he asked me to be his girlfriend,

523
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 3: and I was very happy. It was the first time

524
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 3: in my life that I can safely say I truly

525
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 3: fell in love. He was a person I admired deeply.

526
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 3: His character and kindness moved me. He always supported me

527
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 3: and encouraged me to bring out the best in myself.

528
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 3: He gave me this image of the perfect boyfriend who

529
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 3: has a stable job, someone you can rely on, who

530
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 3: takes care of his family, is emotionally available at all times,

531
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 3: and is a perfectionist in all areas, both personal and professional.

532
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 3: I truly love him. He nourished my life so much

533
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 3: that I.

534
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 4: Saw my future by his side.

535
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 3: And dreamed of one day marrying him. When we first

536
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 3: brought up the topic of marriage, he excitedly told me

537
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 3: that he saw future with me too, and then he

538
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 3: wanted to marry me someday. He even gave me a

539
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 3: promise ring, which is given when you want to assure someone.

540
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 4: That you will marry them in the future. You could

541
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 4: say it's a step before.

542
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 3: An engagement ring. We would periodically talk about our wedding plans,

543
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 3: where we'd like to live, how many kids to have.

544
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 3: We even started planning our retirement. He would sometimes make

545
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 3: comments like when we get married, or I can't wait

546
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 3: to marry you. A few months ago, we started arguing

547
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 3: over minor things, misunderstandings or things that were happening in

548
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 3: his life that for some reason he wouldn't tell me.

549
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 3: He preferred to turn to other people and hide his

550
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 3: problems from me. We almost always resolved these arguments the

551
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 3: next day and continued our relationship as if nothing had happened. Honestly,

552
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 3: I didn't think our arguments were serious enough to be

553
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 3: overly concerned. The plot twist happened last week when we

554
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 3: were in the middle of a date, eating in his

555
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 3: car while watching a series that night, I noticed him

556
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 3: somewhat distant and quieter than usual. I thought maybe he

557
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 3: had a bad day at work, so I decided to

558
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 3: give him some space and ask about it when we

559
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 3: finished dinner. When the series ended, I asked him why he.

560
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 4: Was so serious.

561
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 3: He jokingly replied that he had a stressful day at

562
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 3: work and then he was just tired. We were getting

563
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 3: ready to go back to our houses when he said,

564
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 3: what if I don't take you back to your house

565
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,639
Speaker 3: and take you with me. I replied, let's leave it

566
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 3: for when we get married next year. He remained silent

567
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 3: for a few moments and said, what if I told

568
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,679
Speaker 3: you that I don't really want to get married. I

569
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 3: looked at him, seriously, surprised by the sudden elevation. I

570
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,359
Speaker 3: asked him where that came from, and, somewhat annoyed, he

571
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 3: told me that there were several things he had been

572
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,400
Speaker 3: hiding from me since we started dating. I told him

573
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 3: to tell me the whole truth and say what he

574
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 3: really thinks.

575
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 4: These were his confession.

576
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: I'm scared get into it.

577
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,199
Speaker 3: The truth is I don't want to get married, and

578
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 3: I have no intention of ever getting married because if

579
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 3: I get married, I won't be able to see my

580
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 3: friends like I used to, and I don't want to

581
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 3: be locked up with you all the time.

582
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,919
Speaker 1: Where did this come from? What? What happened?

583
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 3: I've been addicted to smoking Devil's lettuce for a year now.

584
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 3: I smoke it almost every day. It relaxes me and

585
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,959
Speaker 3: helps me stop thinking about my problems. Your past has

586
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 3: always bothered me. I still can't believe you slept with

587
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 3: people like it was nothing, and the worst part is

588
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 3: that you don't regret it. I'm sick of people saying

589
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 3: things to me about you and making fun of me

590
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 3: for having you as a girlfriend. I don't see my

591
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:20,119
Speaker 3: future with someone with your past. Because of you, I

592
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 3: have to keep up this mask of everything being fine.

593
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,520
Speaker 3: I'm stressed all the time. I feel pressured about marriage.

594
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 3: I don't feel ready, and I honestly don't think I

595
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 3: can get married, and you keep insisting all the time.

596
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 3: I always feel like I have to tell you where

597
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 3: I am and what I'm doing.

598
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 4: I feel suffocated.

599
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,640
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm living in a loop where all

600
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 3: my days are boring. I have no purpose and I

601
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 3: don't feel motivated by anything.

602
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:46,439
Speaker 1: So get that time machine, Delarean, go way back and

603
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 1: make sure you never date this guy. Stop yourself from

604
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,639
Speaker 1: dating this guy, because boy, oh boy, that was rough.

605
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 3: All he had to say was he realized never wanted

606
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,400
Speaker 3: to get married to anybody ever.

607
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, he needs one. This is stemming from a lot

608
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 1: of stuff, obviously from people talking to him.

609
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 3: Best to get some freaking self esteem and butt out

610
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:09,760
Speaker 3: of your past.

611
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 1: But this guy also needs to just one. Not let

612
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: everything bottle up. He'd let everything bottle up and he

613
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 1: let everything out. Boy, this guy doesn't know how to communicate,

614
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,240
Speaker 1: but also got a very terrible mentality onto a lot

615
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: of things.

616
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 3: You can imagine the shock I felt when he revealed

617
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,639
Speaker 3: all of that to me. I felt like my world

618
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 3: had turned upside down. All those things he admitted were

619
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,239
Speaker 3: totally opposite to the things he had told me and

620
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,680
Speaker 3: promised me. The strangest thing is that those were things

621
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 3: we had both seriously discussed before we started dating about marriage.

622
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 3: He always showed interest in the subject and even gave

623
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 3: me a promise ring He often started the topic about

624
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 3: our married life, So I don't understand where that complaint

625
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 3: came from. Regarding his regular use, I suspected he was

626
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 3: hiding something from me about his health, but I had

627
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 3: no idea it was this serious. He always seemed to

628
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 3: have everything under control, I never imagined he'd be going

629
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 3: through something like that, and he never mentioned it to me.

630
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 3: I had no way of knowing about my past. When

631
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 3: we first started dating, I was honest with him and

632
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 3: told him about the things I used to do before

633
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,679
Speaker 3: I was in a relationship with him, mainly because I

634
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 3: wanted to avoid any misunderstandings. I truly care about him

635
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 3: and would never do anything to hurt him, much less

636
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 3: be unfaithful. I didn't expect him, of all people, to

637
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 3: judge me that way regarding his feelings about marriage. I

638
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 3: had no idea that he felt that way. He never

639
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 3: told me anything about his insecurities or his fears. In fact,

640
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 3: he never told me his problems. He preferred to solve

641
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 3: them on his own and keep his discomfort to himself,

642
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 3: which led to several arguments over time. Finally, I must

643
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 3: admit that at the beginning of our relationship I was

644
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 3: quite possessive and controlling. But I took note of my

645
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 3: flaws and went to therapy to improve as a person

646
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 3: and not damage our relationship. I healed many things about myself,

647
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 3: and although I still need to improve in other areas,

648
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 3: I must recognize that I've come a long way compared

649
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 3: to how I was before. We had an argument about

650
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,720
Speaker 3: what we were going to do with our relationship. I

651
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 3: thought he was planning to break up with me after

652
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 3: confessing all that, but to my surprise, he told me

653
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 3: he needed some time to go to therapy and make

654
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 3: a decision. I replied that he should give me a

655
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,959
Speaker 3: clear answer at that moment, do we break up or not.

656
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 4: Buddy didn't know how to answer. That hurt me deeply.

657
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 3: He didn't completely trust me, but he didn't want to

658
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 3: let me go either. He insisted again that I give

659
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 3: him time to go to therapy and make a decision.

660
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,479
Speaker 3: Although not totally convinced, I accepted his agreement. During the

661
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 3: rest of the night, we didn't say anything. We just

662
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,040
Speaker 3: hugged and said goodbye. Right now, I feel confused. It

663
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 3: turns out that the person I thought I knew better

664
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 3: than anyone isn't like that. I love him, and part

665
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 3: of me thinks that something must have caused that sudden

666
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 3: explosion of emotions because that was the first time he

667
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 3: showed me that side of him. And by the way,

668
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 3: I'll show you, guys, a whole new side of episodes

669
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 3: with stories just like this. Go to Spotify, Apple Podcast,

670
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,959
Speaker 3: I heard radio search up. Okay, story time, any final

671
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 3: thoughts before we wrap this story up.

672
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 1: So you're probably in a very confused place right now.

673
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 1: I think because this just happened and you're at a lot,

674
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 1: you're just like, WHOA, that was a lot. I think

675
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 1: he does need to go to therapy and you guys

676
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 1: need to have another serious conversation, give yourself a little

677
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 1: bit of space to just process things for him and

678
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 1: for you, because that is a lot. I'm still processing

679
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: what he said because that was a.

680
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 3: Flurry kind of on team breakup.

681
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 1: I am too, because he's been holding this in for

682
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: a long time, right, He's been in a way lining

683
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 1: to you. But I also would bring up the fact

684
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 1: that something must have triggered this, either a again he

685
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: held it in for too long, or be something must

686
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 1: have triggered this to the extent he pushed him over

687
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 1: the edge.

688
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 3: I'm a little too worried about his comments about your

689
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 3: past and stuff.

690
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's your past thing that.

691
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 3: You did wrong, and I think that if he can't

692
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 3: like be okay with that, then he.

693
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 1: Should especially judging you, especially especially after you guys talked

694
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 1: about it before, even before you started dating, and right.

695
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 4: Now it seems like he doesn't want to get married

696
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 4: to anybody. And if that's something that you really want,

697
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 4: that's like a pretty big deal.

698
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 1: It could be like something that he was so set

699
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: on and then like something there's a hiccup or like

700
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 1: depression or something.

701
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 3: That's fine to change your mind about it, But I

702
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 3: don't think that we stay through, Like I don't know

703
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 3: right now where I'm at.

704
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 4: I feel like this is like a time to, yeah,

705
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 4: at least re evaluate everything, definitely re evaluating towards this

706
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 4: could be a brain like.

707
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 1: I said, just process things, don't I would say, don't

708
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 1: process things right of a motion like do like like, okay,

709
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 1: let's come back to reality here, Let's take some time,

710
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: have another genuine conversation. Because you were even like, all

711
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: right with all that, do you want to break up?

712
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: And he's like, I don't even know what I want

713
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 1: right now, So he's definitely at a place where he's lost.

714
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 1: You're also like, what theft just happened? I feel like

715
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 1: this is something that needs to be worked on before

716
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:02,320
Speaker 1: we make any sudden changes or decisions completely.

717
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 3: But if in the end it turns out that all

718
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 3: this was the truth, from the beginning, and he has

719
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 3: no intentions of changing. I don't want to have someone

720
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 3: who's trapped in the past. The worst thing is that

721
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 3: pardon Me feels that I owe him for all those

722
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 3: times that I hurt him and overwhelmed him because of

723
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 3: my insecurities. I would like to hear your opinions. Even

724
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 3: more so, I would like to hear the experiences of

725
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 3: people who happened through similar situations.

726
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 4: That is the end of that story.

727
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam.

728
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 5: We'll get back to the stories.

729
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My

730
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 2: friend wants me to hang out with his cheater girlfriend,

731
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 2: so I blew up.

732
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 1: Are you a good friend or a bad friend?

733
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 2: I was asked by a friend of mine to stop

734
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 2: by his place and grab some stuff one day a

735
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 2: few months ago since I had a spare key. Nobody

736
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 2: was supposed to be there since his girlfriend works.

737
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 5: At that time.

738
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 2: But when I got there, her car and a truck

739
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 2: I didn't recognize.

740
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 5: We're in the driveway.

741
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from, you use your chicken

742
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 2: Wing Priest, and if you want to submit your own stories,

743
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 2: go to the r Slashowkay Storytime selbred It I'm Dakota,

744
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 2: I'm key On, and we're here to give you good advice, Googly,

745
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers, so if you

746
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 2: would do something different, let us know in the comments,

747
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 2: and OP says Immediately, I assumed the worst, and I

748
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 2: was right. I took a few pictures of the truck

749
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 2: and car in the driveway, and then went in to

750
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 2: confront her. She was half nby on the couch with

751
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 2: another guy. I snapped a few pictures what and left

752
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 2: before she could get dressed and chase me down.

753
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 1: I don't think that's the right thing to do.

754
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 5: Don't know how I feel about that.

755
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: I don't think that's the right thing to do.

756
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 3: Brother.

757
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 2: I immediately called my friend and let him know what

758
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 2: I saw.

759
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,320
Speaker 5: We met up and I showed him the pictures.

760
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 2: He was heartbroken, but said he'd started to suspect things

761
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 2: a few weeks prior, so he.

762
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 5: Wasn't too surprised.

763
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 2: He confronted her, and she gave the usual cheater excuses.

764
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:47,920
Speaker 2: There was the mistake, it only happened once. I love you,

765
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 2: He meant nothing. However, she couldn't keep up the lie

766
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 2: and was forced to admit she'd done it. With another

767
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 2: guy a few months previous, the same guy I caught

768
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 2: her with the night before when she was supposedly staying

769
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 2: late at work but was actually at her.

770
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 5: Side pieces house.

771
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 2: He broke up with her and booted her out of

772
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,000
Speaker 2: his place. He seemed to be doing better until a

773
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 2: couple of weeks later when he got lonely and took

774
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 2: her back.

775
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 1: You idyo.

776
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 2: Shit.

777
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 5: Now they're together again, and I've stopped.

778
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 2: Hanging out when she's around, so I don't see him

779
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,319
Speaker 2: as much anymore. We had the following exchange when we

780
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 2: met up for lunch, and I'm wondering if I was

781
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 2: too harsh. It's not word for word, but it's the

782
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 2: best I can pull from memory.

783
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 5: Him. Why don't you come over anymore? We barely hang out?

784
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: Uh? You know why I'm not hanging out with or

785
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 1: around your girl. She's a cheetah and I don't hang

786
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 1: out with cheetahs. Also, she hates me because I'm the

787
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,200
Speaker 1: one that caught her stepping out on you.

788
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 2: Remember, Oh, she doesn't hate you.

789
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 5: I forgave her and it's fine. So just come over

790
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 5: in all and we can hang out. She wants you

791
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:50,359
Speaker 5: over there.

792
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 1: Too, Uh, dude, not happening. I hope you're happy with her,

793
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 1: but I think she's trash and I'd rather sit in

794
00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,880
Speaker 1: a room by myself than pretend he's not a total

795
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 1: piece of crap just so you can act like everything

796
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 1: is a okay.

797
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 2: Oh dude, why the heck do you care she didn't

798
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 2: cheat on you? He was getting visibly worked up at

799
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 2: this point, and I was probably looking about the same look.

800
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 1: Brother. If you want to sweep this under the rug

801
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: and keep pretending things are fine while she figures out

802
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: how to get some side wiener again without getting caught,

803
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 1: that's your choice. But I can never pretend that I

804
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 1: didn't walk in on her half unclothed with another dude.

805
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 1: And I can't pretend that you aren't an idiot for

806
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 1: taking her back when she's obviously going to cheat again

807
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:40,359
Speaker 1: and has no respect for you. Heck, I have less

808
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,440
Speaker 1: respect for you for taking her back, you dummy.

809
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:46,560
Speaker 2: We sat in angry silence for a minute before I left,

810
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:47,800
Speaker 2: and since then it's.

811
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 5: Been mostly quiet.

812
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 2: I got a text asking if I really think she's

813
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 2: a horrible person, and I replied, yes, she's a horrible person.

814
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 5: I hate her.

815
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 2: In hope one day you're smart enough to leave her,

816
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,240
Speaker 2: But until then, I'll be keeping my distance from you both.

817
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 2: And that's been about it. A few of our mutual

818
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 2: friends hung out with them recently and they say it's

819
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 2: super awkward. My friend tries to get them to interact

820
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 2: with her, but they also don't like her. They're just

821
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 2: too polite to say anything to his face about it.

822
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 2: So getting to the judgment I need.

823
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:16,959
Speaker 5: Have I been too harsh?

824
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 2: Here? Was I an a hole for snapping at him

825
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 2: like that after everything that happened? Should I have just

826
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 2: played nice and made excuses not to hang out instead?

827
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:26,800
Speaker 5: And we do have comments?

828
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 1: No, brother, you're doing You're like living in the like

829
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:34,240
Speaker 1: a simulation right now, where like everything's backwards. Why brother,

830
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 1: are you dumb? Like she cheated on you and you

831
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 1: were like, so you were good and then you took

832
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:40,919
Speaker 1: her back.

833
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 2: Why Yeah, I would do the same thing. Wow, I

834
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 2: would do similar thing for sure.

835
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:45,439
Speaker 3: Yeah.

836
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,360
Speaker 1: No, I feel like I've been in that situation. I'm like, Okay,

837
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 1: well now I feel like an idiot because I put

838
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 1: out all my energy and now you're not listening to

839
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 1: me and you think everything's cool.

840
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 5: Yeah.

841
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 2: Comments Willing Confusion thirty three zero says not the a hole.

842
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 2: Cheaters are disgusting, and frankly, i'd be the same. If

843
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 2: he wants to forgive her, that's fine, but you don't

844
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 2: have to. You don't have to hang around anyone you

845
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,359
Speaker 2: don't want to hang out with, and no one can

846
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 2: tell you or not tell you who to be around.

847
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 2: OPI replies, for the record, I understand that I'm not

848
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 2: an a hole for wanting to distance myself from his girlfriend.

849
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,799
Speaker 2: I'm mostly worried about how harsh I was when we

850
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 2: met up and got into our argument. That's where I

851
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 2: think I might have crossed a line. Dismal Cellist ten

852
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,760
Speaker 2: twenty four says, No, you're a true friend, and frankly,

853
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,359
Speaker 2: he's lucky to have you. We all need someone who

854
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 2: will have our back, even if having their back means

855
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 2: giving them the harsh truth. Yes, no true friend would

856
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 2: let their friend continue to be a doormat. Just don't

857
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 2: give up on the guy. When he eventually catches her

858
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 2: cheating again and or she dumps him, he'll need his

859
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 2: friends because she obviously has some.

860
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 5: Kind of hold on him.

861
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 2: Another commenter, when equivalent forty sixty nine, not the a

862
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 2: hole for being harsh to your friend is it possible

863
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 2: she's changed, Not without putting in the hard work of

864
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 2: affairs and redemption.

865
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 5: She didn't do any of that. Your friend and his.

866
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,279
Speaker 2: Third leg got lonely, so he decided to get his

867
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,799
Speaker 2: third leg workout, and that was more important than his

868
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 2: pride and self respect. And we have an update twenty six.

869
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 1: Days later, not twenty eight.

870
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 5: Dang almost so iconic number.

871
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 1: I agree with all those comments. No again, you know

872
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: you're not the a hole and you gave him the

873
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 1: harsh reality. I feel like it's gonna happen again, and

874
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 1: maybe you don't need to be there with both of them,

875
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,879
Speaker 1: but be there for your friend when it will happen again.

876
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 1: Be like, Hey, I'm your buddy. I told you so,

877
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 1: I love you, but you're an idiot. I can't be

878
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 1: around that toxic relationship. I can't be around her. I

879
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 1: hate cheeters.

880
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, just send that ahead of time.

881
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 2: Just let him know, like, Hey, even though I'm distancing

882
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 2: myself from you right now, it's.

883
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,240
Speaker 5: Not because I'm not your friend anymore.

884
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 2: It's because I can't be around you when you put

885
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 2: yourself in this situation. So just know, like, if it

886
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 2: all falls apart and you need somebody I will be

887
00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 2: here for you. I'm here for you, but I'm not

888
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 2: going to support this relationship and I can't hang out

889
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 2: with you and act the way you want me to,

890
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 2: So we're just gonna not hang out as much. A

891
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 2: month ago, I came here to get a perspective on

892
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,839
Speaker 2: a potential falling out with a friend of mine over

893
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 2: him taking back as girlfriend after I caught her cheating

894
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 2: on him and she admitted to doing it multiple times.

895
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 2: I stopped hanging out with him after we got into

896
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 2: an argument over me not wanting to hang out with

897
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,799
Speaker 2: his cheater girlfriend. Things played out almost exactly how I

898
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,480
Speaker 2: figured they would, and I'm feeling pretty validated in my

899
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 2: disdain for his now ex.

900
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 1: We all called it, yeah, you called it up. You

901
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:31,880
Speaker 1: got a good head on your shoulders.

902
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 2: After our fight, my friend and I barely spoke to

903
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 2: each other outside of a few texts. Then I got

904
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,799
Speaker 2: a call from him yesterday letting me know he has

905
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:41,640
Speaker 2: booted her out. He told me he'd only taken her

906
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,239
Speaker 2: back after several weeks of her begging and promising to

907
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 2: do whatever it took to win his trust back. One

908
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 2: of the conditions of him taking her back was full

909
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:53,240
Speaker 2: access to her phone, laptop, and game console without complaining.

910
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 5: He said.

911
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,000
Speaker 2: At first she was happy to comply, but after a

912
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 2: few weeks he noticed her acting suspicious, and when he

913
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 2: went to check her phone, she had changed the pass

914
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 2: code from the one they'd agreed on for him to

915
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:06,440
Speaker 2: get in. When confronted, she started screaming at him and

916
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 2: telling him she'd done enough to prove herself, so he

917
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 2: needs to back off. He immediately dumped her and removed

918
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 2: her from the premises. She said she immediately backtracked and

919
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 2: tried to hand her phone over when she realized he

920
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 2: was serious, but the damage was done. Said he was

921
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 2: almost relieved she acted like this because it made the

922
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 2: decision easy.

923
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 1: Oh o p I. You know, I'm one of those

924
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 1: people sometimes I am, but I'm not really one of

925
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 1: those people where you're gonna you're ready for this with

926
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:35,280
Speaker 1: the big I told you so good for your buddy

927
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 1: that he realized he doesn't deserve her. She sucks and

928
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 1: hopefully he can make it up to you, maybe buy

929
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 1: a drink or something.

930
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, the context of it makes

931
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 2: a little more sense that she's just like begging, pleading,

932
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,839
Speaker 2: and he's like, okay, fine, but here's the conditions, and.

933
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:52,319
Speaker 5: Literally as soon as she broke it.

934
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 1: He's like, all right, we're done within like a month.

935
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 5: Yep. Crazy and that was good for him, good, good

936
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 5: for him.

937
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:00,879
Speaker 2: I came over and helped him all her stuff into

938
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 2: boxes for her to pick up. I wasn't there when

939
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,439
Speaker 2: she came to get everything, but his sister was there

940
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 2: and had to get between them because his ex kept

941
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 2: trying to kiss him one last time while awkwardly dragging

942
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 2: boxes of her stuff out to her car. I'm sad

943
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 2: I didn't get to be there. Apparently she ugly cried

944
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 2: most of the time. I'm gonna head over to his

945
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 2: place after work to drink and play video games to

946
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 2: get his mind off things. He's a silly little boy,

947
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 2: but I think he's finally learned his lesson about her.

948
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 2: I just hope his next girl is loyal and doesn't

949
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 2: talk so god dang much during movie Man.

950
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 1: That's a huge red FA in my opinion, We have.

951
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 2: Some comments to finish it off rgst one one seven.

952
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 5: Oh not the ale.

953
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 2: It's too hard to look her in the face while

954
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 2: she's destroying your friend. He came back and he knows

955
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:47,360
Speaker 2: you're a good friend. Oh, he says more importantly, he

956
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:50,800
Speaker 2: knows he was being dumb, but he's a lovable dummy.

957
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,479
Speaker 2: Nerd is a verb, says he has such low self

958
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 2: esteem that he accepts cheating an emotional abuse to the

959
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 2: extent it damages his relationships with friends. He needs help,

960
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 2: like professional help at this point. MCA twenty twenty one says,

961
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 2: I usually pause the TV if someone is talking or

962
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,399
Speaker 2: if I have something to say. It drives my daughter nuts,

963
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 2: but I find it annoying trying to watch a show

964
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 2: with someone talking. I'm glad your friend.

965
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 5: Finally saw the light.

966
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 2: Sometimes dummies take longer to see the light, thus why

967
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 2: they are called dummies.

968
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 5: OPI says that sounds.

969
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 2: Like a much more efficient method than my solution. I

970
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 2: just waited until she blew up the relationship a second

971
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 2: time and removed herself more permanently. I'm honestly looking forward

972
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 2: to movie nights again, and that is the end of

973
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:31,320
Speaker 2: that story.

974
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 1: Perfect. It's because everyone's on the same page of like

975
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,399
Speaker 1: we can chill and like talk. Sure, yeah, but if

976
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: someone's like we're trying to watch this movie and someone's

977
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 1: talking during.

978
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,280
Speaker 2: Different, that's also it's different when it's like a movie,

979
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 2: like you know, it's a little more fun, lighthearted. It's

980
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 2: like if you're watching a movie like The Godfather, The

981
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 2: Revenant or something or like.

982
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 1: You know, you need like serious context to watch them.

983
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 5: And I need to lock in. There's a lot going on.

984
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:56,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's the end of this story.

985
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:57,800
Speaker 5: We're gonna go on to the next one.

986
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:00,760
Speaker 1: John here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories.

987
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:02,920
Speaker 1: But a quick three minute break from house from our sponsors.

988
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,360
Speaker 2: I refuse to have my friend's child at my party

989
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 2: and she got furious.

990
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,479
Speaker 1: This party is rigidar And.

991
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 2: This comes directly from the r slash Owkay storytime subred it.

992
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 2: I feel like by just reading the title, it would

993
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:17,879
Speaker 2: be easy for some to call me the a hole,

994
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 2: but just hang on for the ride. I thirty two female,

995
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 2: have or had two best friends, Kitty thirty two female

996
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,839
Speaker 2: and Autumn, thirty female. We were like the three amigos.

997
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,280
Speaker 2: We did so much together and spoke on the phone

998
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,280
Speaker 2: every day, even though we all live.

999
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 5: In different cities.

1000
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:35,840
Speaker 2: Kitty and I live in the same state, while Autumn

1001
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 2: lives in New York. And by the way, this comes

1002
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 2: from user Personal Efficiency eight. And if you want to

1003
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 2: submit your own stories. Go to the r slash Okay

1004
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,400
Speaker 2: storytime subred it where this story was submitted. I'm Dakota,

1005
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 2: I'm Keon, and we're here to give you good advice.

1006
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 5: Goofiy, but we don't have all the answers.

1007
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 2: We only know what we'd do, so if you do

1008
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,880
Speaker 2: something different, let us know in the comments and op says.

1009
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,880
Speaker 2: Kitty and I met at a job where she was

1010
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 2: my trainer. When I left, we connected over Facebook and

1011
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 2: became fast friends. When I moved back to my hometown

1012
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:06,960
Speaker 2: with my ex husband, we kind of fell off. During

1013
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:10,320
Speaker 2: that time, Kitty became friends with Autumn, who is honestly

1014
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 2: one of the sweetest human beings you will ever meet.

1015
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,440
Speaker 2: My ex and I were having major issues. I had

1016
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 2: found out he was having an affair and I needed someone.

1017
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 5: So I reached out to Kitty and it was just

1018
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,320
Speaker 5: like old times. She wanted me to meet Autumn.

1019
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:27,400
Speaker 2: We would play video games together, chat, and eventually we

1020
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 2: met in person at an anime convention.

1021
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:31,360
Speaker 1: Ooh fun.

1022
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 2: I'm naturally awkward and so is Autumn, but we hit

1023
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 2: it off. Kitty, however, made it clear that we were

1024
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,799
Speaker 2: not allowed to like each other more than we liked her,

1025
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 2: what all.

1026
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 5: Right, Kitty's weird?

1027
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 2: That's a seven year old opinion to have. We had

1028
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,359
Speaker 2: been a trio for about four years, and during this time,

1029
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,320
Speaker 2: Autumn and I were both going through serious relationship problems.

1030
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 2: Kitty has a boyfriend, Marcus, experiencing verbal and emotional and

1031
00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 2: the gas lighting of a cheater was something Autumn and

1032
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 2: Eye bonded over. But every time we called devent, Kitty

1033
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 2: had something to say about her boyfriend. He wasn't cheating,

1034
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 2: but he wasn't helpful or supportive. She was a stay

1035
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 2: at home mom, and he never took their daughter to

1036
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:14,280
Speaker 2: the doctor even during emergencies. We supported Kitty and encouraged

1037
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 2: her to demand better from him. She would send dozens

1038
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 2: of screenshots of him being dismissive, pictures of how he

1039
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,439
Speaker 2: left the house a mess. I would be so mad

1040
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,800
Speaker 2: for her and talk to her for hours. Eventually, Autumn

1041
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:29,320
Speaker 2: and I ended our marriages. We would screenshare our dating apps,

1042
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 2: give advice, scringe together, laugh and encourage each other. Kitty

1043
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 2: was still in her relationship, but at this point she

1044
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 2: was working and Marcus was helping more.

1045
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,720
Speaker 5: With their daughter. But there was this shift in her vibe.

1046
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,239
Speaker 2: One day, Autumn and I were on the Facebook dating

1047
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 2: app and we made our accounts and the notifications came

1048
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:48,600
Speaker 2: rolling in. We were freaking out because it was overwhelming.

1049
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 2: Kitty said, I'm gonna make an account. She said she

1050
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 2: just wanted to see what type of guys were out there,

1051
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 2: so she made one. She's a bit heavier than Automnie.

1052
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 2: I only bring up Kitty's weight because it plays a

1053
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 2: pig heart in the story. She made a profile and

1054
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 2: got nothing, not one match. She only left it up

1055
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:09,240
Speaker 2: for about thirty minutes, though, so I asked what pictures

1056
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:11,920
Speaker 2: she used. One was in her uniform for her job,

1057
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:14,400
Speaker 2: and it wasn't flattering. I told her it was the

1058
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 2: pictures and she said, no, it's because she is fat.

1059
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 5: We assured her she was beautiful, but she didn't want

1060
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 5: to hear it. Kitty was the.

1061
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:23,839
Speaker 2: Bold one in the group, but as we got more

1062
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 2: comfortable talking to men, she seemed less and less interested

1063
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 2: in our dating life. About a month before our annual

1064
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 2: meetup at an anime con, Autumn met her now boyfriend, Adam.

1065
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 2: Adam is a nicy eye, big into Minecraft and likes

1066
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 2: everything Autumn likes.

1067
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 3: Huh.

1068
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 2: The only problem with Adam is he had just lost

1069
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 2: his job. But Autumn assured us this was going to

1070
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:50,279
Speaker 2: be nothing serious. Kitty, however, did not agree. Every chance

1071
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:54,919
Speaker 2: Kitty got, she was talking crap about Adam. She thought

1072
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:57,479
Speaker 2: he looked like her brother Jacob, and she started calling

1073
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 2: him ugly Jacob. She told her mother Jacob and even

1074
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 2: her sister. She laughed, calling him broke and not good enough.

1075
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 2: In a private conversation, I told her to chill out.

1076
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,439
Speaker 2: She said, I don't care.

1077
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:12,799
Speaker 1: All right, Well, if you don't care, I don't care

1078
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 1: about this friendship.

1079
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,960
Speaker 2: I mean, straight up, if it's just like a guy's

1080
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 2: trying his best. Maybe he doesn't have a job, but

1081
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,399
Speaker 2: you gotta be happy for your friend if.

1082
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: It's she found genuine. Yeah, she found someone genuine that

1083
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:26,319
Speaker 1: she likes and he likes her back. And the one

1084
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 1: thing you'd be like, ah, yeah, he doesn't have a

1085
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 1: job and he looks like my brother.

1086
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 5: What, Yeah, just weird.

1087
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 2: Autumn kept talking to Adam. We were even playing Minecraft together,

1088
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 2: having a great time. Kitty was playing with us, but

1089
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:41,359
Speaker 2: she wasn't as good. Then one day, when we were

1090
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 2: all playing, Autumn, Adam, my other friend Hannah, and I,

1091
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 2: Kitty was at the movies. Suddenly Kitty joined the call

1092
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:51,880
Speaker 2: and we all greeted her. So she wanted to join

1093
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 2: my Minecraft server, but I had to invite her. She said,

1094
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 2: why did Adam get an invite by far at me?

1095
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 2: Because you were at the movies, Kitty, you should have

1096
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,439
Speaker 2: don to send me went first. Anyway, I didn't take

1097
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 2: this seriously and continued to play Hannah. Autumn and I

1098
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:10,959
Speaker 2: were fighting mobs. Adam was on the way to us,

1099
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 2: and Kitty was back at the base asking someone to

1100
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 2: come get her, but we were busy. I heard her

1101
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 2: say I'm gonna burn your village to the ground, and

1102
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 2: I told her we gon't fight in real life if

1103
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 2: you do that.

1104
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 1: People who don't understand this stuff big, this is all

1105
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 1: dealing with Minecraft.

1106
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is saw game references. OHP clarifies, I was

1107
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:34,400
Speaker 2: just joking. But then I didn't hear her say anything else.

1108
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:36,840
Speaker 2: We all assumed that she left the party chat. We

1109
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 2: made plans before Kitty even joined, all meet at base

1110
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 2: when her movie was over and go on.

1111
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 5: An adventure and protect her.

1112
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,040
Speaker 2: We were all just chatting and laughing when Kitty started

1113
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 2: yelling at us, saying she never left the chat and

1114
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 2: just stopped talking and was listening. She accused Autumn of

1115
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,439
Speaker 2: being more concerned about Adam and not her. She called

1116
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 2: us liars, left the party, and blocked us on discord.

1117
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,920
Speaker 2: She stopped talking to us for a few weeks. When

1118
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:01,400
Speaker 2: I tried to talk to her about the situation, she says.

1119
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:03,800
Speaker 5: I need attention. At least she's honest.

1120
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:04,720
Speaker 1: That's crazy.

1121
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's It's unfortunate.

1122
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,959
Speaker 5: She's being a real cringe lord right now.

1123
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:14,239
Speaker 2: During this time, Autumn and Adam had Zispasa sleep. She

1124
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:17,279
Speaker 2: told me, But because of the whole Minecraft drama, telling

1125
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 2: Kitty didn't seem like a good idea, Autumn decided she

1126
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:23,080
Speaker 2: would tell her when she was ready. Even with Kitty

1127
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 2: not talking to us, Autumn and I still got her

1128
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 2: cosplay together for the convention we were gonna go.

1129
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 5: Is the Powerpuff Girls cute?

1130
00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,200
Speaker 2: Kitty had expressed that in the past she felt her

1131
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:36,840
Speaker 2: cosplays were not as hot as ours and she didn't

1132
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 2: get as much attention. There was a time when Autumn

1133
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 2: and I caught the eye of a program social media

1134
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:44,719
Speaker 2: photographer and they took our picture. It ended up on

1135
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:47,719
Speaker 2: the official page, and Kitty was not happy. You got

1136
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 2: it it. I think it's time to distance ourselves from Kitty.

1137
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 1: I'm getting Kitty is a pick me girl, a Debbie Downer.

1138
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 1: All I'm getting is negativity from Kitty.

1139
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1140
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 2: If Kitty's not the one having the most fun or

1141
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 2: having the best time, oh.

1142
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 1: It's not about her or MEMI me, me, me, it's

1143
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:05,399
Speaker 1: not a good time.

1144
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:05,879
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1145
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,240
Speaker 2: If she sees someone getting a little shine, she's gonna

1146
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 2: rain on it so that it brings people down to

1147
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:13,279
Speaker 2: her level. Kitty told us she was jealous and it

1148
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:16,000
Speaker 2: made her want a quit cosplaying, which is not your

1149
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:17,440
Speaker 2: fault or responsibility.

1150
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 5: Ope and friends, So Autumn and.

1151
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,920
Speaker 2: I thought if we put a cosplay together for her,

1152
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:22,960
Speaker 2: she would get more attention.

1153
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 5: Con came.

1154
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 2: Kitty made it clear that she didn't want Autumn talking

1155
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 2: to Adam while she was there, which is.

1156
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 1: Crazy, you mean her boyfriend.

1157
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 2: She even unlocked Autum's phone and texted Adam saying this

1158
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 2: was her time with Autumn and he wasn't allowed to

1159
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 2: speak to her during it. I told Kitty this was

1160
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:40,919
Speaker 2: too much, and she said he could see Autumn every

1161
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 2: day and she only got her a few days out

1162
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,360
Speaker 2: of the year. I told her this was time for

1163
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 2: all of us, not just her, but she wasn't having it.

1164
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 2: One time during the trip, Kitty left the room, Autumn

1165
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:54,759
Speaker 2: asked if she could FaceTime Adam to show him her cosplay,

1166
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 2: and of course, I said, Yeah.

1167
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,840
Speaker 5: It's crazy that she feels like she needs to ask permission.

1168
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:02,279
Speaker 1: He's wild, Like it's a very like mother, like Kitty's mother, Like,

1169
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:05,880
Speaker 1: you need my approval first for anything. You have to

1170
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 1: ask me first if I give you the okay.

1171
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 2: She talked to him for barely thirty seconds when Kitty

1172
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:14,759
Speaker 2: burst in angry, yelling at us for being sneaky. What later,

1173
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 2: I lost my badge and while looking for it, Kitty said,

1174
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 2: just take Autumn's badge because obviously Autumn wants to stay

1175
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 2: in the room and talk to Adam. At that point,

1176
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:23,919
Speaker 2: I had had enough.

1177
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 1: I mean even before that, the calling for autumns for Adam,

1178
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 1: calling Adam all these names when Audam's happy, ugly.

1179
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 5: Jacob is crazy.

1180
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:33,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's wild.

1181
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 2: So Op says the trip was awful. She hated the

1182
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 2: cosplay and said she was too fat for people to

1183
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 2: know she was Bubbles. But when I was looking for

1184
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 2: people would ask me, are you looking for your bubbles?

1185
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,920
Speaker 2: She's over there. I'm It's very clear that Kitty is

1186
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 2: very insecure. Yeah, look, there are plenty of people who

1187
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:54,919
Speaker 2: are are heavy, who were maybe fat, there are people

1188
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 2: who are attracted to all body types.

1189
00:51:56,800 --> 00:52:01,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, but it but she's acting very very

1190
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:02,399
Speaker 1: It's like.

1191
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 5: She's trying to.

1192
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 2: Make everything about how how upset she is. And because

1193
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 2: she's upset about something or isn't happy with something, or.

1194
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:15,479
Speaker 1: Then it's a bad time and it has to.

1195
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 2: Be everyone has to be having a bad time, right.

1196
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 2: She hated the cosplay so much she put my oversized

1197
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 2: flannel over it. Autumn and I had spent our money

1198
00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 2: on it. It was like since she wasn't happy, none

1199
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:27,839
Speaker 2: of us could be.

1200
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 1: Well, we called it as we see this.

1201
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, people would ask for pictures, men would hit on us,

1202
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 2: but it was like she was keeping count. She would say,

1203
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:36,960
Speaker 2: the guys something, want to talk to you, guys, they

1204
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 2: don't even look at me. At the end of the trip,

1205
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 2: Autumn was upset at Adam. I told her if the

1206
00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 2: relationship wasn't serious.

1207
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:43,720
Speaker 5: Why was she so upset.

1208
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,439
Speaker 2: This caused her to be upset with me, and while

1209
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 2: we were in our own cities, we got into it

1210
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 2: over the group chat and Autumn texted, I thought you

1211
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 2: would understand because I had this passive sleep with him.

1212
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 2: At this point, I had forgotten that she had not

1213
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:57,400
Speaker 2: told Kitty.

1214
00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:01,279
Speaker 1: Oh no, uh oh. Kitty was oh yeah.

1215
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:03,480
Speaker 2: She could not believe Autumn hadn't told her and that

1216
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:06,360
Speaker 2: I kept it from her during the trip. She said

1217
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:08,840
Speaker 2: we were keeping secrets and laughing behind her back. In

1218
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 2: a private conversation, I told her she didn't create a

1219
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 2: safe space where Autumn could share that information. She said

1220
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 2: Autumn shouldn't have been weak and should have told her

1221
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,440
Speaker 2: that real friends don't keep secrets. She blocked us on

1222
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 2: everything but Facebook and would subpost us constantly until I

1223
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,279
Speaker 2: made a post saying if you don't care, why are

1224
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 2: you here? And then she blocked us there too. She

1225
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 2: would unblock me every now and then and we would

1226
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 2: end up arguing. I told her she was acting like

1227
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 2: the bad ex she helped Autumn get away from, demanding

1228
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:40,040
Speaker 2: her attention, dictating who.

1229
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:41,399
Speaker 5: She talked to, and gaslighting her.

1230
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 2: After that, she blocked me again and didn't talk to

1231
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 2: me or Autumn for three months. At the end of

1232
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:50,759
Speaker 2: the three months, Kitty bought a house. She unblocked us,

1233
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 2: and we rekindled the relationship.

1234
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 5: Why people just a few.

1235
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:58,480
Speaker 2: Days into talking again, she told me she didn't like

1236
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,919
Speaker 2: that me and Autumn talked on the phone, just us too,

1237
00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 2: and now.

1238
00:54:01,840 --> 00:54:02,719
Speaker 5: We have to cut her off again.

1239
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 1: I'm sorry when you blocked us so many times.

1240
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 5: I locked us, didn't talk to us for three months.

1241
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:10,320
Speaker 2: Now you're gonna be like, I'm mad you guys talk.

1242
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:11,799
Speaker 5: On the phone. Get out of here.

1243
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 2: Future reference for anyone listening to this, do not entertain

1244
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 2: a friendship that feels like this, because it's not a friendship.

1245
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:22,799
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

1246
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:24,760
Speaker 5: She also said she didn't.

1247
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 2: Want to hear anything about Adam and that she hated

1248
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,440
Speaker 2: him because Autumn picked him over her. One day, she

1249
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 2: asked if I wanted to spend the weekend at her

1250
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 2: new house. I told her yeah, but it might be uncomfortable.

1251
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:36,880
Speaker 2: We had only been talking again for a week, and

1252
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 2: she couldn't let it go, making it out like it

1253
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,960
Speaker 2: was my fault if things were weird. Luckily, I had

1254
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 2: a family gathering that weekend, so I canceled, and she

1255
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:45,959
Speaker 2: even asked me for pictures.

1256
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:46,080
Speaker 5: Of the event.

1257
00:54:46,239 --> 00:54:47,480
Speaker 1: That's so weird.

1258
00:54:47,800 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 2: We all know it's this is not Hey, Kitty, Kitty

1259
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:54,280
Speaker 2: bye bye. While Kitty had gone missing on us, Autumn

1260
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,319
Speaker 2: and I made plans for me to come visit on

1261
00:54:56,360 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 2: my birthday. Our birthdays are a day apart. We said

1262
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 2: celebrated together for the first time last year. I wanted

1263
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:04,600
Speaker 2: to do it again, so I planned to buy a

1264
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:06,880
Speaker 2: train ticket to go to New York. I wanted to

1265
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 2: go into the city, New York City, New York's Slash.

1266
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 2: I wanted to go to a play, go out to

1267
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 2: the clubs, feel hot, and have fun. When Kitty came

1268
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 2: back into the picture, I accidentally let that slip no

1269
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:22,360
Speaker 2: without hesitation. Kitty says she'll drive.

1270
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 3: No.

1271
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,800
Speaker 2: I wasn't even sure at the time if I wanted

1272
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:27,680
Speaker 2: her to come, but I just let it go. A

1273
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 2: ride with her would make things easier and cheaper.

1274
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 5: I doubt that.

1275
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 2: A few days later, Kitty showed us she took the

1276
00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 2: days off.

1277
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 5: We were confused. We thought she was coming.

1278
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:39,720
Speaker 2: She said, well, I wasn't sure I was invited, which

1279
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:41,520
Speaker 2: is crazy because we already talked about it.

1280
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 5: We assured her she was invited and made our plans.

1281
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:46,840
Speaker 2: A week or so passes and Autumn tells me that

1282
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:49,560
Speaker 2: Kitty told her she has to bring her daughter, Joy,

1283
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:53,080
Speaker 2: six female. Joy is a sweet little girl. She's nonverbal,

1284
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:56,319
Speaker 2: autistic and requires a lot of attention. Last time we

1285
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 2: went to New York with Joy, Kitty did not have

1286
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 2: a good time. She was overstimulated and upset most of

1287
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:05,000
Speaker 2: the trip. I really didn't want any kids at the

1288
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 2: birthday bash. Hannah was going to come, and I told

1289
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:11,920
Speaker 2: her to find sitting. Autumn has two kids and found

1290
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 2: sitting for them, but Kitty said she had asked everyone

1291
00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 2: and no one could watch her. Kitty said Marcus couldn't

1292
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:20,239
Speaker 2: watch either, because he had no more time to take

1293
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:22,880
Speaker 2: off work. She said she wanted to come, but she

1294
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,360
Speaker 2: would just stay with Joy while we went out. I

1295
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 2: just knew this was a bad idea, so I encouraged

1296
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 2: her to try a bit harder, and she said she

1297
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 2: would try. I would ask her if anything had changed,

1298
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:35,280
Speaker 2: and she would say no. Then one day I asked

1299
00:56:35,280 --> 00:56:37,759
Speaker 2: if Marcus had any time to take off and she

1300
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:40,640
Speaker 2: said no. I asked if you could just call out,

1301
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:42,960
Speaker 2: and she said he would get fired if he did that.

1302
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 2: Later in the week, she said Marcus was home for

1303
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:48,960
Speaker 2: the day because he called out. I told her I

1304
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,359
Speaker 2: thought he would be fired, and she just brushed it off.

1305
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:55,160
Speaker 1: Ain't no way, brother, ain't no way. Oh, pe come on.

1306
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:57,360
Speaker 1: It's like a game at this point.

1307
00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:01,759
Speaker 2: It's not even fun, not fun at all. Later I

1308
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 2: talked to Autumn and she told me the Kitty admitted

1309
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:05,399
Speaker 2: she had.

1310
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 5: Been lying the whole time.

1311
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 2: She never asked anyone to watch her daughter and didn't

1312
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:12,799
Speaker 2: plan on asking, and she really wanted a reason to

1313
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 2: stay in because she felt that and didn't want to

1314
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 2: get dressed up, so don't come.

1315
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:18,680
Speaker 1: What are we doing?

1316
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 2: Kitty also told her that because I was being pushy

1317
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 2: about her asking her boyfriend to keep Joy, she felt

1318
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:26,560
Speaker 2: that I had a problem with Joy because she's autistic,

1319
00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 2: which really pissed me off. I was done with the

1320
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 2: lying and the manipulation, and then accusing me of not

1321
00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 2: wanting her daughter around because of her autism boiled my blood.

1322
00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:39,800
Speaker 2: She could have told me about being insecure and we

1323
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:42,080
Speaker 2: could have done something to make sure she felt included,

1324
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 2: but no, she lied to us so the trip would

1325
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 2: be more comfortable for her. We ended up arguing in

1326
00:57:46,920 --> 00:57:49,080
Speaker 2: the group chat, and she told me she was disgusted

1327
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:51,760
Speaker 2: with how I wouldn't accept her daughter, which is crazy.

1328
00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 5: I told her this is not about Joy.

1329
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 2: She said it was I didn't want her around and

1330
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:01,160
Speaker 2: that was either Joy comes or Kitty does it. I

1331
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 2: told her this was about her lying and manipulating the situation.

1332
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:07,480
Speaker 2: Her response was, oh, well I lied, So what? Here's

1333
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 2: the so what? Because three months ago you stopped talking

1334
00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:14,960
Speaker 2: to us because we lied, quote unquote to you. I

1335
00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 2: tried to explain that I didn't want any kids there,

1336
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,400
Speaker 2: not just Joy. I had a vision for our birthday

1337
00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:23,640
Speaker 2: weekend and it didn't involve children. We'd be drinking and

1338
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:26,720
Speaker 2: out and having fun. Being out while she is stuck

1339
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:29,640
Speaker 2: inside wasn't part of the plan. She also accused me

1340
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 2: of disrespecting Marcus because when she told me he said

1341
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:35,920
Speaker 2: he wouldn't watch Joy. My response was, isn't he the father?

1342
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 2: My mother never had to ask my father to watch

1343
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:39,560
Speaker 2: his children.

1344
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 5: He just did.

1345
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 2: And mind you, he took a weekend off to go

1346
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:44,640
Speaker 2: out of state for an NFL game that she paid

1347
00:58:44,640 --> 00:58:47,240
Speaker 2: for and to repay the favor, he was going to

1348
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 2: take time off to watch Joy for her trip to Vegas,

1349
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 2: but the trip didn't happen, So why can't he just

1350
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 2: do that for the New York trip. For years, she

1351
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 2: painted her boyfriend as an emotional for a dirty, unsupportive,

1352
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:01,920
Speaker 2: and slacky dad. So when she's telling me he's refusing

1353
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,240
Speaker 2: to watch her daughter. I'm on the same energy. She

1354
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 2: told me to watch my mouth about how I talk

1355
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:08,920
Speaker 2: about Marcus, and I'm a hypocrite because I told her

1356
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 2: to be kinder to Adam. My opinion on Marcus is

1357
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 2: based on everything you have shared with me. There was

1358
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,000
Speaker 2: a time when Marcus was watching Joy and he lost

1359
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 2: Joy for ten minutes, and Kitty says this is why

1360
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 2: she isn't comfortable with Marcus watching Joy. But this wasn't

1361
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:24,560
Speaker 2: an issue when she was going to go to Vegas.

1362
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:27,880
Speaker 2: This pisses off Autumn, because what do you mean our

1363
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 2: birthdays aren't good enough to ask for child care? Kitty

1364
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 2: tells me, I don't understand because I don't have kids.

1365
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:37,080
Speaker 2: I opened up to Kitty about my fertility issues that

1366
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 2: I had experienced with my ex, but she kept saying

1367
00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 2: it over and over and over. She kept making it

1368
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 2: a point that I don't have children. We go back

1369
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,200
Speaker 2: and forth. She calls me sad and lonely and tries

1370
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 2: to make fun of the fact that I don't have

1371
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 2: a man. She carries on about how Joy has autism

1372
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:53,680
Speaker 2: and she doesn't want to burden her man or family

1373
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:56,520
Speaker 2: with watching her for a four day trip just for

1374
00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 2: our birthdays and joy has to come.

1375
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 5: Now, Hold on a second.

1376
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:03,400
Speaker 2: Jeez, dude, you literally just uttered your own daughter because

1377
01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, yeah, my autistic daughter. That's like such

1378
01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:08,560
Speaker 2: a hassle that no one likes. I wouldn't want to

1379
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:13,280
Speaker 2: burden anyone with my daughter. It's like you were exposing yourself.

1380
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:15,160
Speaker 2: Cut it's time.

1381
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 1: It's been time.

1382
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 2: We are cutting kitty off. I am tired of the argument,

1383
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,360
Speaker 2: so I told her it's up to her. I'll find

1384
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:25,400
Speaker 2: my way to New York without her if need be,

1385
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 2: and she says she isn't gonna go.

1386
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:29,120
Speaker 5: And to enjoy my child for you weekend.

1387
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:32,360
Speaker 2: Okay, great, great. A few days later, she makes a

1388
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 2: Facebook post saying something like I will never pick someone

1389
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:37,240
Speaker 2: over my child. If people don't want to be near

1390
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:40,360
Speaker 2: your child, they shouldn't be near you. I'm so mad

1391
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 2: because she's subtly talking about me and making this about

1392
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:45,680
Speaker 2: me not wanting to be near her daughter. So I

1393
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:48,560
Speaker 2: follow her lead and make my own posts. So inviting

1394
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 2: yourself to an adult only birthday bash and demanding you

1395
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:51,640
Speaker 2: bring your.

1396
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 5: Daughter is crazy.

1397
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:53,600
Speaker 1: We don't need to do this.

1398
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:54,760
Speaker 5: I know this is petty.

1399
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:56,520
Speaker 1: You know at least you know it's petty, but you

1400
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:57,479
Speaker 1: didn't need to do this.

1401
01:00:57,520 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 5: It's just cut her off.

1402
01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:01,360
Speaker 2: While I'm talking on the phone with Autumn about both posts,

1403
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:05,080
Speaker 2: Kitty calls us on FaceTime. I answer, and she's going off.

1404
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,000
Speaker 4: You're a coward. You could have tagged me.

1405
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 2: Well, you subed me, so I subbed back. If you

1406
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 2: weren't a coward, you would have commented under it like

1407
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:15,000
Speaker 2: I did on your post. Am I a coward for

1408
01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:17,760
Speaker 2: doing exactly what you did. I'm not scary, and I

1409
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:20,680
Speaker 2: didn't invite myself. That's a lie. And she was hung

1410
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 2: up on the fact that I said she invited herself.

1411
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:26,360
Speaker 2: I assured her that she did. I told her we

1412
01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:29,200
Speaker 2: made plans before we even started talking to her again,

1413
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:32,840
Speaker 2: and she said that was a lie. Later Autumn confirmed

1414
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,800
Speaker 2: that that was the truth, and we had even told

1415
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 2: her that previously. During the call. She told me she

1416
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 2: was going to make a post and tag me, and

1417
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,520
Speaker 2: she did. She posted screenshots of my posts, saying she

1418
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:44,840
Speaker 2: didn't invite herself and that I was using her as

1419
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:47,920
Speaker 2: a ride and refused to accept her daughter. You offered

1420
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:51,760
Speaker 2: to be the driver, She said, I disrespected her man

1421
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 2: because I didn't understand that he works and needs sleep.

1422
01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:55,919
Speaker 5: She said.

1423
01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:58,640
Speaker 2: I was childless, she said at numerous times, and didn't

1424
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:02,200
Speaker 2: understand mom guilt. We went back and forth in the comments,

1425
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:05,080
Speaker 2: but there was no point she ignored all my points.

1426
01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:07,440
Speaker 2: I told her I could really air her out, but

1427
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to because at one point she was

1428
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:12,760
Speaker 2: my friend. I eventually untagged myself and she deleted the

1429
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:15,320
Speaker 2: post and unfriended me. She told Autumn she was just

1430
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:18,320
Speaker 2: as bad for defending my behavior and unfriended her as well.

1431
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,520
Speaker 2: I assume that this is gonna end up being and

1432
01:02:20,560 --> 01:02:22,959
Speaker 2: I'm done with her and I'm never going back, which

1433
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:23,720
Speaker 2: is the right mood.

1434
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:26,600
Speaker 1: And I'm hoping with this last little tidbit that you

1435
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 1: have a wonderful birthday with Autumn and your friends. Who

1436
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:32,880
Speaker 1: are your friends combing budday.

1437
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 2: Many of the comments on the post before she deleted

1438
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 2: it were on her side, praising her for being a

1439
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 2: good mom. I felt like I was taking crazy pills

1440
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 2: while reading it. At this point, I know the friendship

1441
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:46,000
Speaker 2: is over. There's so much more I could say, more

1442
01:02:46,040 --> 01:02:49,720
Speaker 2: examples of her being unkind, unapologetic, toxic, and downright mean.

1443
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:54,120
Speaker 2: I take accountability for ignoring her toxic ways, making excuses.

1444
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:57,040
Speaker 2: But if I can end a marriage, I can end

1445
01:02:57,160 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 2: a friendship. Am I the ale?

1446
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:00,120
Speaker 5: I don't think so.

1447
01:03:00,360 --> 01:03:02,240
Speaker 2: Maybe you were a little petty, but you're not the ahle.

1448
01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:04,240
Speaker 2: This woman's intolerable.

1449
01:03:04,320 --> 01:03:06,200
Speaker 1: You're on an a hole. You played her game a

1450
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:08,400
Speaker 1: little bit, but you're out of the game. Good job.

1451
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:11,080
Speaker 2: How could I have made things better? Should I have

1452
01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:14,280
Speaker 2: just allowed her daughter to come with without asking her

1453
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:17,320
Speaker 2: to ask for babysitting? And was I a bad friend

1454
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:19,880
Speaker 2: for not telling her about Autumn's a spicy sleep? I

1455
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:23,200
Speaker 2: appreciate any comments. Thanks for reading me, And that's the

1456
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:24,040
Speaker 2: end of that story.

1457
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:26,440
Speaker 1: Thanks for your story, Thank you for your story. We

1458
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:28,959
Speaker 1: really hope, I mean we've said our piece. We really

1459
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 1: hope that she's no longer in your life. The people

1460
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:35,000
Speaker 1: that are backing her up, those could be her friends. Great.

1461
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:36,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you don't have to concern yourself with that.

1462
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:41,360
Speaker 2: You know, it's just Internet Facebook nonsense. Blocker, close the screen.

1463
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:41,520
Speaker 5: Move on.

1464
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:42,320
Speaker 1: What's the point?

1465
01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:44,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'll tell you. I'm a cat person. And that's

1466
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:46,000
Speaker 5: the one kiddie I don't like.

1467
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:46,400
Speaker 3: Oh,