1 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: Learning to love ourselves and our messy and complicated truth 2 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,719 Speaker 1: is hard enough. But what happens when you have that 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,880 Speaker 1: feeling of otherness just hanging over your head, where you 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: don't feel understood even within your own tribe. How do 5 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 1: you confidently grow into your own skin or maybe even 6 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 1: grow out of it when the road to acceptance and 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 1: healing is so rough and bumping. Welcome back to in 8 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:29,160 Speaker 1: the deep stories that shape us. I'm your host, Zak Stafford. 9 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,520 Speaker 1: If you've been following us since day one, you're familiar 10 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: with the stories of hardship. Our guests have shared those 11 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: struggles of identity, discrimination, or health, and how these people 12 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:43,199 Speaker 1: have managed to move forward despite their circumstances. And if 13 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,279 Speaker 1: you're new, well check those stories out. You won't regret it. 14 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: We're going to continue listening to these stories from black 15 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,720 Speaker 1: and Latin X people, hoping to gain clarity and get closer, 16 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: even if just a little, to a road of healing 17 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 1: and understanding. I think by now all of us have 18 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: had some understanding that many black people living in America, 19 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 1: especially black men, have that other type of talk with 20 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 1: our family, the one that teaches you to keep your 21 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 1: hands on the wheel or respond with yes, sir, no 22 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: sir answers when interacting with police, and regardless of how 23 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: much you prep in advance, no matter how many different 24 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,679 Speaker 1: scenarios you recreate in your head, can a person really 25 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: be fully prepared for those human reactions, those feelings of anxiety, 26 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 1: or that fight or fight feeling that can take over 27 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,960 Speaker 1: in times of danger. As a black man myself, I've 28 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: had my own experiences with the police throughout my life. 29 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: I've had the cops who follow you around town, hoping 30 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: you miss one stop sign, do one thing they can 31 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 1: deem suspicious. And as a journalist, I've dedicated most of 32 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: my life to exploring how these cops misused their power 33 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: towards people that look like me all around this country, 34 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 1: much of which has been inspired by my own personal experiences. 35 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 1: But through all of these years and countless stories, I 36 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: have yet to ever sit down and have the conversation 37 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: you're about to hear to day, a conversation with a 38 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 1: man who was pulled over, was shot by the police 39 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,360 Speaker 1: five times, and became paralyzed at the age of nineteen, 40 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: and today is working to not defund the police, but 41 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: rather change them from within. Leonford's powerful story brings up 42 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: so many questions for me personally and challenges me even 43 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: more because even more than his body of work, Leon's 44 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:26,079 Speaker 1: journey begs the question can you truly heal and continue 45 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,920 Speaker 1: to help others all while facing your inner pains and 46 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: stigmas that have plagued you in your community for a 47 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,680 Speaker 1: long time? And even more powerful, can you take this 48 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: healing and turn the people that have wronged you, those 49 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: that have hurt you into a sort of ally for change. 50 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: So I am from the east side of Pittsburgh in 51 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: a neighborhood called Garfield. It's like a small town, you know, 52 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: we're all one degree of separation away. And so I 53 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: was fortunate enough to build relationships with, you know, all 54 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:08,120 Speaker 1: of my different relatives all throughout Pittsburgh. I was a 55 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: kid that always wanted to be outside. They used to 56 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: call me professor because I was also I was also 57 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: the kid that could have a full conversation with any adult. 58 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:25,640 Speaker 1: I remember just being at the table while my grandmother 59 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: and aunts and uncles were playing spades. The games used 60 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: to be rowity, but there was like a lot of love, Whereas, 61 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: like you know, towards the corner, my cousins would be 62 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: shooting dice, and my grandmother would say stay away from 63 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: the dice game because you know, you just never know, 64 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 1: like somebody's gonna fight or something, you know what I mean. 65 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: I played football growing up. I didn't love it as 66 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 1: much as my son loves it. I have a night 67 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: year old son, and he loves so Paul. I mean 68 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 1: in each hands that I like, could skip football practice. 69 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: I was definitely doing. At what were you doing when 70 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: you skip football practice? Just hanging out with friends, right 71 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: and uh, dirt bikes and just hanging out. Would you say, 72 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,960 Speaker 1: this time of your life, you're pretty happy with everyone 73 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: and everything going on, Absolutely happy. I was spoiled. So 74 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 1: when I was five or six years old, my dad, uh, 75 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: he was indicted by the FBI for conspiracy to sell 76 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: drugs and he actually served maybe fourteen years in federal prison. Yeah, 77 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:49,360 Speaker 1: so that was my first huge shift in my life 78 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:54,599 Speaker 1: where my dad was a very active father, you know, 79 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,840 Speaker 1: supported the Little league football teams and things, and then 80 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: you know, he was snatched away. Something that really stands 81 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: out in Leon's story. It's just this idea of manhood 82 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,159 Speaker 1: of fatherhood because on the one hand, he has his father, 83 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: his own personal superhero, but on the other he has 84 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 1: the world's opinion of his character. It's almost like living 85 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 1: in between two worlds, one where his father is very present, 86 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,719 Speaker 1: a great man, friend, a great leader, even, and another 87 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: where he's getting hurt, stabbed, shot, or even arrested. I 88 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,160 Speaker 1: can relate to that feeling because my dad was also 89 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: hurt like Leon's. He was even indicted at one point two, 90 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,919 Speaker 1: and there's feelings of anxiety that feeling of am I 91 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: next are incredibly difficult to shake. So I felt like 92 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: I lived in two worlds. In one world, always was 93 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:51,480 Speaker 1: like a star student, and the teachers treated me really 94 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 1: well because they knew that my parents were engaged. And 95 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,280 Speaker 1: then once my dad was indicted, they kind of looked 96 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:02,040 Speaker 1: at me like deferently, like I was a problem child, 97 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 1: you know, like I had done something wrong, and my 98 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: relationships with school changed because of that. I instantly felt 99 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: my blackness, right, I felt my privilege kind of be 100 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 1: stripped away, because I do feel like I was privileged. 101 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:28,400 Speaker 1: My father was very well respected, and there was like 102 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 1: this deep reverence for him as a as a person 103 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 1: because he's just a stand up guy, you know, Uh, 104 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: He's a person who keeps his word. He took care 105 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 1: of so many people, from you know, saving homes from foreclosure, 106 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:51,480 Speaker 1: to paying taxes, supporting youth sports, and just you know, 107 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,159 Speaker 1: being someone that people in the community felt they could 108 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:59,840 Speaker 1: lean on. But that has a huge heart. So one world, 109 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: I'm revered even though my dad went to prison, and 110 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,920 Speaker 1: people are like treating me well and trying to look 111 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: out for me since my dad was gone. On the 112 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: other side, you know, these predominantly white teachers were treated 113 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: me like I was a criminal. So that was very confusing, 114 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: and I was struggling with why. You know, five and 115 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: six years old, I didn't have the language to say, 116 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: maybe because I'm block and they think my dad's a criminal, 117 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 1: and so they think I'm going to become a criminal 118 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 1: or you know, I don't know the reason, but I 119 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: certainly felt it. I felt the shift. I still have 120 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: the first letter that my dad wrote me when he 121 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: went to prison. He basically said that I'm not to 122 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 1: blame for him going to prison. My mom wasn't to blame. 123 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 1: It was his fault, his the choices that he made. 124 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: He broke down the importance of rules, how rules and 125 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: laws are similar, how all laws and rules aren't right, 126 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: but until we change them, we have to follow them 127 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: right in a way. And he said, you know, wrote 128 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: about how h he wanted me to, you know, listen 129 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: to my mom, follow her rules, and he wanted me 130 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: to become the best part of him, not the worst part. 131 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 1: And you know, in reading this letter and being so 132 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 1: close to my father, I thought about the possibilities of 133 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:46,199 Speaker 1: me being incarcerated one day, and that certainly frightened me. 134 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 1: So even now I go to therapy and I'm a 135 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: huge mental health advocate. There's certain things that I experienced 136 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:01,120 Speaker 1: from my father that made me who I am. But 137 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,080 Speaker 1: I won't necessarily do it to my son or say 138 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 1: those things to my son, right, So I appreciate them, 139 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,560 Speaker 1: and I appreciate my father for him doing his best. 140 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 1: Just because I've been exposed to a different way of 141 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: engaging with trauma and healing doesn't negate the lessons that 142 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: he learned throughout his life. And so I'm like moving forward, 143 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: but I'm also acknowledging the past. And you know, I'm 144 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 1: acknowledging the lessons from my father and my grandfather, even 145 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:43,559 Speaker 1: those lessons that society today may say are very harsh, 146 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: which is complicated, you know, what you're saying takes me 147 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 1: back to something my dad said to me. He said, 148 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,319 Speaker 1: I want you to be better than me, and what 149 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 1: that requires of you is to be different than me 150 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 1: and to deal with things different than me. So I'm 151 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: still be me and treat you how I know how 152 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,840 Speaker 1: to treat you, but do not be me. Be different, 153 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:10,239 Speaker 1: because you will be better. So here is Leon existing, 154 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: living his life, listening to his father's advice be different. 155 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: But then on a regular Sunday morning, he gets a 156 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: call from one of his cousins to hang out. Something 157 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: tells him to stay, but he decides to go anyway. 158 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 1: Leon and his cousins are really into fitness. They work 159 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,840 Speaker 1: out all of the time. They're so close. They boxed 160 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: together and even have a packed not to do drugs. 161 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: But on this day, his cousin is hanging out with 162 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: a girl and Leon gets a whiff of weed. His 163 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,360 Speaker 1: cousin has broken the pact. They all decide to go 164 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,400 Speaker 1: to their grandma's house, but Leon goes alone in his car. 165 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,680 Speaker 1: I got my car and drove off. I drove to 166 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: the corner to stop saying made a left, and so 167 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,200 Speaker 1: I was driving the correct way on the one way street, 168 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: and then I saw a police cruiser coming towards me 169 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:10,440 Speaker 1: the wrong way with no lights on, just illegally driving 170 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:14,320 Speaker 1: down the street. And so when we passed each other, 171 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 1: I had to like move over a little bit, and 172 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: I locked eyes with those police officers and instantly knew 173 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 1: that they were going to pull me over. I get 174 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 1: asked this question often, like how did you know? It's 175 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:35,360 Speaker 1: just an instinct. It's just hard to explain to people 176 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 1: who have never had that experience what that is like. 177 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: And so I get to the next stop. Sound, made 178 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: a left, drove about a block, made a right over 179 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 1: a bridge. As I'm driving over the bridge, guy said, 180 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: I say, behind me, police cruiser and they are speeding. 181 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 1: Through investigations, we know that they were driving about ninety 182 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: mile an hour trying to catch up to me. They 183 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 1: call it fishing. That's the term that they used. Uh 184 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: so they we're definitely fishing. And so this police cruise 185 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 1: just speeding behind me. I knew they were going to 186 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 1: pull me over, and so, you know, I began to prepare. 187 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: I mean, I didn't have my seatbelt on, so I 188 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:28,200 Speaker 1: put my seatbelt on. You know those types of things, right, 189 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,959 Speaker 1: I want to stay, put their lights on and out 190 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: immediately pulled over. I used to keep my driver's license 191 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: and registration in a little zip block bag, so I 192 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 1: got that for them and the officer immediately I just 193 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:50,760 Speaker 1: came to the window and just snatched my license and 194 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,839 Speaker 1: it's you know where you going up, telling what's going 195 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:57,719 Speaker 1: to my grandmother's house, and h eggs and them that 196 00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,719 Speaker 1: I do anything wrong, and he said, I ran the 197 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 1: stop up saying he went back to the cruiser to 198 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:07,959 Speaker 1: run my name. Everything came back Claire that the car 199 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 1: was registered to me. But then he decided to type 200 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 1: in Elford. So you can imagine on their system typing 201 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:25,320 Speaker 1: al Ford, every name from Linda, Larry, any name or 202 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 1: social the al that's gonna pop up, and so he 203 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: just basically decided to pick lamont Ford. I get frustrated 204 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: a lot with this because the media, they would say, oh, 205 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 1: they thought he was a gang member, or they thought 206 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,920 Speaker 1: he was a criminal, and he wasn't this criminal he was. 207 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 1: He wasn't this game. He wasn't this bad person who 208 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:56,160 Speaker 1: they thought he was. The reality is that la Montford 209 00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 1: didn't even have a active warrant that night I was shot. Yeah, 210 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 1: and so life for the record, he didn't have an 211 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 1: active work. So even if it was, even if I 212 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 1: was al mont Ford, La Monteford wouldn't have deserved what 213 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: happened to me. The idea of justice in Leon's story 214 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: is so complicated because even if you think, well, damn, 215 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: he shouldn't have driven off and stayed and complied, this 216 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 1: idea of being punished for having a human reaction feeling scared, 217 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 1: feeling worried, feeling defenseless, isn't usually a means for such 218 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 1: a drastic punishment. I've seen this time and time again 219 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 1: in my own career, especially when I covered police in 220 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 1: these incidents. At times, cops play the parts of both 221 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:50,360 Speaker 1: juror and prosecutor, tipping the scales to their favor and 222 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: hopes of gaining a couple more informants for their needs. 223 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 1: Going back to Leon for a second, think about it. 224 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:00,000 Speaker 1: He's nineteen, the police are confusing him for another person, 225 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 1: and lamont Ford, he's scared, and no matter how much 226 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: he pleads, they are not taking no for an answer. 227 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 1: It's his word against authorities. At that point, I was terrified. 228 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 1: You know, nineteen years old, gave my driver's license, registration 229 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 1: and car insurance. These officers. Now we're telling me, well, 230 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,040 Speaker 1: how about you get out of your car and come 231 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 1: to our car and look at this photo of Lamont Ford. 232 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 1: I never heard anything like that before, so I told 233 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 1: them I don't need to know what lamant for looks like, 234 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 1: and saying we'll get your block ass out of the 235 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: car before we pull you out. It was that moment 236 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:50,920 Speaker 1: where I kind of thought, well, I'm not getting out 237 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,000 Speaker 1: out of this car because I felt safe inside of 238 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 1: the car, and one of the officers reached in through 239 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:02,640 Speaker 1: the window and locked the door, opened the door. Two 240 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: officers both grabbed me and tried to yank me out 241 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: the car. So when I put the car and drive, 242 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:14,160 Speaker 1: the officer on the passenger side immediately jumped inside of 243 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: the vehicle and within a half a second begin firing 244 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:24,440 Speaker 1: shots point blank range. And I was shot once in 245 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 1: my neck, twice in my chest, once in my arm, 246 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: and once in my hip. One of the bullets that 247 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: went through my chest is the bullet that paralyzed me. Wow, 248 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 1: you said that you felt safer in your car, you know, 249 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 1: and I'm sure you grew up knowing that police were 250 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: that s aggressive in your neighborhoods. What do you think 251 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 1: was in you that day that said, I better hit 252 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 1: the gas to the pedal, because you know, that's something 253 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,720 Speaker 1: when I talked to white people especially and they look 254 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 1: at these reports, they'll say, well, you shouldn't have driven off, 255 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,360 Speaker 1: you should have stayed. You would have just listened. But 256 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,200 Speaker 1: it sounds like everything in your body was saying, get 257 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: out as fast as you can. And the fact here 258 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,639 Speaker 1: is that you were right, you were in danger. You 259 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:11,119 Speaker 1: did get shot. But why do you think your body 260 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,920 Speaker 1: said try to get out? In that moment? I did 261 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 1: not feel safe around these police officers and they weren't 262 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 1: taking no for an answer, and I felt like they 263 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 1: were going to harm me, and so you know, I 264 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:34,240 Speaker 1: thought my best bet was to drive off. My parents 265 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 1: told me, you know, don't drive with your hood on, 266 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:42,120 Speaker 1: don't have friends in the back seat, don't blast music. Right, 267 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:47,119 Speaker 1: So my parents gave me information. However, I didn't have 268 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:52,199 Speaker 1: the language to say, hey, I don't feel safe. I 269 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: would like for a supervisor to come to the sea. Now. 270 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: I don't know if that would have changed anything. However, 271 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 1: I feel like it's a duty of mine to equip 272 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:13,879 Speaker 1: young people and people in community in general with the 273 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:21,359 Speaker 1: language to protect them, to potentially prevent them from experiencing 274 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: what I experienced. And even with those words of caution 275 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,399 Speaker 1: in his head from his parents, Leon woke up in 276 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: the ICU. He wakes up to a police officer in 277 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:41,439 Speaker 1: the room without his family. Confused. I remember there was 278 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 1: a suction tube that I would use to get out 279 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,720 Speaker 1: of the saliva out of my mouth because of the tubes, 280 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,879 Speaker 1: and I was hooked up to all these you know, 281 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:56,360 Speaker 1: i VS and things, and I accidentally dropped the suction 282 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 1: my mouth. You know, it was full of saliva and 283 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,919 Speaker 1: I'm like China, spit it out. But I began to choke. 284 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,960 Speaker 1: And as I was choking, you know, I was banging 285 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:12,679 Speaker 1: the bed to get the police officers attention, and he 286 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,840 Speaker 1: turned the TV up. Wow. As I was choking in 287 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 1: the machines are going off. And then you know, nurses 288 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,400 Speaker 1: ran into the room and they, you know, they got 289 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 1: the saliva out of my mouth. They were so upset 290 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:33,919 Speaker 1: with this police officer, but they too felt powerless. But 291 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: it was just like man, I had so much fear 292 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 1: and anger that began to crystallize into hatred. I was 293 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:50,200 Speaker 1: shockled to the bed even though they knew I was paralyzed. 294 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: I was arraigned from my hospital bed because I was 295 00:19:54,720 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 1: charged and I couldn't see my family for almost two weeks, 296 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: and I didn't even know why. They actually had to 297 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 1: hire an attorney to figure out a way to see me. 298 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:15,439 Speaker 1: I was devastated. When my family came to visit me, 299 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 1: I was I was so happy, man, and I would 300 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:25,080 Speaker 1: just remember their sadness. They're worried and just like my 301 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 1: dad when he was shot. You know, I was in 302 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 1: the hospital bed saying I'm okay, I'm good, even though 303 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: on the inside I wasn't. The mental emotional leaving physical pain. 304 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 1: It was unbearable, you know. I remember hitting the button 305 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 1: repeatedly to take more fame to get them to come 306 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:53,240 Speaker 1: just knocked me out. I just wanted to sleep, and 307 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,640 Speaker 1: so when I would wake up, I would be out 308 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 1: for a while and it felt like a dream, and 309 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,400 Speaker 1: then I would soon be knocked out of gain Battam Murphy. 310 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 1: I think most people would have grown resentful or maybe 311 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,159 Speaker 1: just given up on life after something so traumatizing, but 312 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 1: Leon's journey never ended with this tragic day, and though 313 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,919 Speaker 1: he was left with conflicting emotions at times, he quickly 314 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:22,240 Speaker 1: realized that if he wanted to heal, truly heal, he'd 315 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 1: have to open himself up to things he never even 316 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 1: imagined and with people he never thought would be willing 317 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:33,360 Speaker 1: to lend a hand. And this is something we will 318 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: cover in Part two, because Leon's journey is as complex 319 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,399 Speaker 1: and beautiful as it is powerful, and proves how healing 320 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:54,879 Speaker 1: yourself can sometimes come by lifting others up along the way.