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Speaker 1: Jewels Second date Update. We've done a lot of second
Speaker 1: day updates where someone's tried to joke around and it's
Speaker 1: gone really bad. But I don't think anything is worse
Speaker 1: than today's dude name Evan is on the phone for
Speaker 1: a second day update and his joke went really really bad.
Speaker 1: What's up, Evan? How are you hey? I'm doing better now.
Speaker 1: Congratulations on the biggest joke fail in a second day
Speaker 1: update we've had so far, So good, good work. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're welcome. I can't even imagine what you're joking about,
Speaker 1: like dead puppy. Well, I mean we have some class
Speaker 1: where you know we're not crazy. There was death involved, though,
Speaker 1: we'll get to that in just a second. But first,
Speaker 1: tell us about the girl you want to call today.
Speaker 1: What's her name? Vanessa? Vanessa? All right? And where did
Speaker 1: you meet Vanessa? Just off of a dating site? How
Speaker 1: are you feeling going into this date? Oh? It was
Speaker 1: feeling great. There was some initial chemistry, just kind of
Speaker 1: chatting online back and forth and talking on the phone
Speaker 1: a bit. And when I saw a picture, she has
Speaker 1: the most real lips I've ever seen. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that makes any sense when I say that, really,
Speaker 1: I mean, I just picture like anti Kardashian lip. But
Speaker 1: that's all I mean. It's just like there's just way
Speaker 1: too much plastic surgery out there. I think there's a
Speaker 1: lot of big fake lips, big fake butts out there.
Speaker 1: All right, So you liked her real lips? Did you
Speaker 1: like anything else about her? I mean, you know, everything,
Speaker 1: everything was working for me. She was a great conversationalist,
Speaker 1: for sure. But unfortunately the conversation got interrupted. So we're
Speaker 1: at this open air restaurant and they have little bits
Speaker 1: of bread and olive oil and parmesan cheese you can
Speaker 1: kind of dip in and whatnot. That always means it's
Speaker 1: a fancy place. Yeah, you're dipping bread and olive oil.
Speaker 1: You know, you're paying a little bit more. And we're
Speaker 1: starting to settle in and there this one fly that
Speaker 1: just does not leave our table alone. And at first
Speaker 1: it's like landing just here and there, and like you
Speaker 1: a big deal. It starts getting a little persistent and
Speaker 1: it's like flying around my face a bit like pleasant
Speaker 1: by my ears. There's nothing more annoying than a fly
Speaker 1: that won't leave you alone. Yeah, and they're so gross
Speaker 1: to me. So while we were waving around, I thought
Speaker 1: it would be funny if I like bit at the fly,
Speaker 1: you know, to bring a little humor in like a
Speaker 1: dog would like, you know, snap at you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like the flies flying around a dog always trying
Speaker 1: to catch it with their mouth. Okay, I guess that'd
Speaker 1: be funny, I think, yeah, but not during a date.
Speaker 1: Sounds really unattractive. But continue, I mean, we're goofing around
Speaker 1: a bit. It's it's no big deal. So I go
Speaker 1: and do it. And the first time I go to
Speaker 1: do it, I actually catch the fly and bite it
Speaker 1: in half. That is disgusting. What did you do? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah it was. It was. It's gross but also talented,
Speaker 1: Like did you even know that you could do that?
Speaker 1: I didn't. It was like an awakening moment and I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh my god, what happened? What did
Speaker 1: you do? Well? The rough part was it was kind
Speaker 1: of a bigger fly. Oh oh, so you're mad because
Speaker 1: you ruined your appetite? Oh yeah, you guys are at dinner.
Speaker 1: You ruined your appetite and then the whole date went horrible.
Speaker 1: Oh it was so bad from there. It just and
Speaker 1: it wasn't even like a fast downhill. It was just
Speaker 1: slow burning, like trying to save the date for another hour.
Speaker 1: And it's like, what right, it mustn't looked like you
Speaker 1: did it on purpose, you know. Yeah, And the fly's
Speaker 1: head lands like perfectly this waity tablecloth gross out, and
Speaker 1: it feel kind of like rigor mortis whatever, like fishing
Speaker 1: around and realizing that I had done that and realizing
Speaker 1: the other half of the fly in my mouth still,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, I need to get rid of this.
Speaker 1: I really just want to spit this out. That's gonna
Speaker 1: make it even worse. And I just like, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a tough position to be. It was like do I
Speaker 1: spit it out or do I swallow it? Neither of
Speaker 1: those is a good solution with these sort of weird
Speaker 1: purse lips, I kind of say, and like I go
Speaker 1: to the bathroom, I wash my mouth out a bit.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is the most calm reaction I
Speaker 1: think of anyone doing that that I could have ever, Like,
Speaker 1: excuse me, I'm going to go to the bathroom, like
Speaker 1: I thought for sure she wouldn't think that it's on purpose.
Speaker 1: Inside I was panicking, don't get me wrong, And time
Speaker 1: was going by us so slowly. Oh what does she
Speaker 1: say at first? Like when when it actually happened, she
Speaker 1: was just like oh, just this look of shock, and like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like what kind of monster am I on a
Speaker 1: date with? Exactly right, like this freak? Why did you
Speaker 1: feel like you had to play it off? Like why
Speaker 1: wouldn't you freak out? She was obviously freaking out. I'm
Speaker 1: freaking out just even hearing the story. Yeah, but he
Speaker 1: was kind of crowded and there all these other people around,
Speaker 1: and I just knew it was going to get worse
Speaker 1: if I So after I went to the bathroom, I
Speaker 1: came back and I tried to make a joke about
Speaker 1: the whole thing, and I said, well, at least mister
Speaker 1: Miyagi would be proud, Yeah, right, that thing that I
Speaker 1: should have heard all that laughter, and I heard nothing,
Speaker 1: just this look of humh. She didn't get your joke. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe she just didn't understand it. Now she doesn't know
Speaker 1: karate kids, Yeah, that is like a thirty year old movie.
Speaker 1: It's a pretty dated joke. So from the fly into
Speaker 1: then to that red flag, because if you can't get
Speaker 1: the reference, I mean, come on, yeah, then she's just
Speaker 1: like who's this mister Miyagi guy? And why would he
Speaker 1: be proud of you? And I'm like, oh, there's this
Speaker 1: real popular movie back in that day. And then like
Speaker 1: some awkward conversation after that. Yeah, he tried to pick
Speaker 1: up back our menus and tried to pick up but
Speaker 1: like the appetite was just gone. Yeah. Yeah, we got
Speaker 1: like one more drink and then bounced out, and like
Speaker 1: she she came up and she she initiated this hug
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, whoa, hey, that's that's cool,
Speaker 1: but it was a very must like here's the hugy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's not interested in to kiss for sure, nobody's going
Speaker 1: to kiss fly eater. Yeah. So I mean, I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to see if I could get you guys to
Speaker 1: get in touch with her, help me out some way,
Speaker 1: and just like, can I just have a redo? Can
Speaker 1: we just pretend that never happened? And has she talked
Speaker 1: to you at all since your date? No? Not a thing, nothing,
Speaker 1: All right? Cool, we'll play a song and then come
Speaker 1: back and call her and get your second date up date.
Speaker 1: All right, great looking jubil in the morning. How's the
Speaker 1: old nurser? I'm go. I know an old lady who's
Speaker 1: swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Speaker 1: Perhaps she'll die. Yeah, Well, I know a second date
Speaker 1: or who's swallowed a fly. And who knows why he
Speaker 1: swallowed a fly. Because he's an effing animal, that's why.
Speaker 1: Because he's a maniac. And his name is Evan, and
Speaker 1: he's on the phone with us right now. And yes,
Speaker 1: Evan bit the head off a fly on his first date.
Speaker 1: If you're just tuning in, I need to explain a
Speaker 1: little bit because you're probably like, what. Yeah, he was
Speaker 1: at dinner with his date and there was a fly
Speaker 1: buzzing around his head. So he thought, I'm gonna joke
Speaker 1: around and try to like nip at it like how
Speaker 1: dogs do. And then he did, and he actually caught
Speaker 1: the fly and then bit it in half. And I
Speaker 1: guess one part of the fly fell down to the table,
Speaker 1: the other one stayed in his mouth. He ran to
Speaker 1: the restroom, cleaned out his mouth. Probably should have just
Speaker 1: jumped off the top of the building. But anyway, cleaned
Speaker 1: out his mouth, went back to the table, tried to
Speaker 1: explain it, and his date wasn't really filling him after that.
Speaker 1: So now we're about to get her on the phone
Speaker 1: and see if he can get a redo. All right, Evan,
Speaker 1: you animal? Are you you ready to give her a call?
Speaker 1: Let's do it. Man, my god, I really think that
Speaker 1: your mistake wasn't the accidental fly biting. It was the
Speaker 1: calm reaction you had afterwards that made you feel more
Speaker 1: like a serial killer. Oh yeah, slowly biting the head
Speaker 1: off a fly and then staring her directly and ye
Speaker 1: the whole time. That's pretty cold. I'm all right, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna dial her fund of her right now and
Speaker 1: see we can help you out. Here we go, Hello him,
Speaker 1: I speak to Vanessa. Please. This is Vanessa. Hey Vanessa,
Speaker 1: how are you? This is jew Bill from brook and
Speaker 1: jew Bil in the morning. And what's Brooklyn jew Ba.
Speaker 1: That's a good question. It's a radio show, Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: It airs on radio stations like most Yeah, okay, appropriate
Speaker 1: place for it to be. Why are you calling? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm calling because we do a segment on our show
Speaker 1: it's called the second date update. That's worth if you
Speaker 1: go out on a date with somebody and then don't
Speaker 1: call them back after they can email us to get
Speaker 1: you on the phone and figure out why. And we
Speaker 1: got an email about you from a listener. His name
Speaker 1: is Evan. Oh that guy, Yeah, he's probably yep, yeah,
Speaker 1: he um got a thing with flies. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we actually talked of it about that date where he
Speaker 1: accidentally bit a fly in half? Oh god, so gross?
Speaker 1: Have you been referring to him as fly guy this
Speaker 1: whole time? Somewhat? But I kind of don't talk about
Speaker 1: him anymore. Yeah. It's probably a place you want to
Speaker 1: get dark in your head so you don't have to
Speaker 1: think about it. Yeah. Yeah, he told us about your date,
Speaker 1: said that he really liked you and he was just
Speaker 1: trying to joke around when that happened. But he understands that, like,
Speaker 1: you know, obviously be disgusting to sit across from somebody
Speaker 1: on a date and have them much into an insect
Speaker 1: that they didn't order off the menu, right, And he's
Speaker 1: wondering why you're not calling him back or texting him back.
Speaker 1: It's not so much about the fly, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's gross and whatever. But the guy is like really
Speaker 1: kind of rude and full of himself. I mean he
Speaker 1: like pop culture shamed me. I guess what you might
Speaker 1: want to say, pop culture shamed you. He did tell
Speaker 1: us that he tried to tell you a Karate Kid joke,
Speaker 1: and you didn't get the reference right, right right. There
Speaker 1: was some mister Naggy Shaggy from the movie Karate Kid
Speaker 1: back in the eighties. What's the name, mister Miyagi. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the name. So I'm sitting in the restaurant and
Speaker 1: it was sure to get really awkward because he was
Speaker 1: like yelling at me because I haven't seen some ancient film.
Speaker 1: I mean, you just wouldn't go on and on about it.
Speaker 1: I feel really uncomfortable. It really was making me feel bad,
Speaker 1: as it should, like no person should be on a
Speaker 1: date and be made to feel stupid, like he was
Speaker 1: so condescending, and I'm thinking, you know, this is supposed
Speaker 1: to be a nice, romantic date and this guy is
Speaker 1: just sitting here grilling me about these eighties movies and
Speaker 1: it's not what I didn't see them, and it makes
Speaker 1: me feel bad. Yeah, I have seen people treat other
Speaker 1: people as really stupid when they don't get pop culture references. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I really take offense to that. And it didn't just
Speaker 1: stop with that one movie. He kept making other references.
Speaker 1: Is like Beverly Hills Cop was like another one. I
Speaker 1: don't remember that one. Okay, I want to shame you
Speaker 1: right now, because that was a great movie series. I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now I'm mad either. Yeah, yeah, but it's so I
Speaker 1: don't I have no interest in seeing these movies. And
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't even think they're probably funny either.
Speaker 1: So not funny? Are you out of your mind when
Speaker 1: you mean not funny? They're hilarious. But yeah, Evan, hang
Speaker 1: on a second, Vanessa, that's Evan. He's actually on the
Speaker 1: other line listing I wants to talk to you, and
Speaker 1: usually you're supposed to wait until I bring you into
Speaker 1: the conversation, but apparently Ivan couldn't wait. Nah. Yeah, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but just like I don't get this, like, how can
Speaker 1: you like may not know that many of them? And
Speaker 1: oh my god, go again, why is it a law
Speaker 1: or something. I'm know, I'm just like shocked, and it's
Speaker 1: just I don't know, like obviously, I'm sure there's things
Speaker 1: like I don't know about your world that you'd be like, Oh,
Speaker 1: come on, I mean, I'm not trying to like make
Speaker 1: you feel bad. It's just like, are making me feel bad? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that sounded real sincere Wow, I mean I'm
Speaker 1: really not. It's just like, yeah, I got that. I
Speaker 1: was also being sarcastic. You're post a judgment on me,
Speaker 1: you are, You're being very judgmental. Oh wow, I can't
Speaker 1: believe this person did so it's all the world according
Speaker 1: to Evan, Like, you know, you don't have room for
Speaker 1: another person for a relationship. If this is the way
Speaker 1: you're gonna behave well, I mean, if you watch the movies,
Speaker 1: you change your mind. If I also hung up on
Speaker 1: comedies and films from the late eighties early nineties, I'm
Speaker 1: not hung up on them. I've seen other movies since then,
Speaker 1: but like those are just gems of cinema. Evan, come on,
Speaker 1: I mean, they're just movies. Don't you think you're overreacting.
Speaker 1: These are classic movies that you just need to see,
Speaker 1: like just as a person growing up in America, like
Speaker 1: and yeah, if you were like you or whatever when
Speaker 1: they came out, then like go rent them or whatever.
Speaker 1: And watch them. Are you really this fired up about it? Evan?
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm fired. But who doesn't go back to
Speaker 1: the future. Probably a lot of people. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: married to one. Actually, yeah, he has. He literally every
Speaker 1: pop culture references lost to my husband. And guess what,
Speaker 1: I can still I can still love him. I'm sure
Speaker 1: it really bugs you, doesn't it. It doesn't at all,
Speaker 1: But he does miss a lot of jokes because of it.
Speaker 1: I will say that when are you still there? This
Speaker 1: is just so ridiculous, Evan. Do you know it was
Speaker 1: actually a date? You know, and you really weren't treating
Speaker 1: me right. So a little advice to your future dates.
Speaker 1: Don't be so judgmental. If somebody doesn't remember or no
Speaker 1: of all the movies in your arsenal that you insist
Speaker 1: that they know in order to be an American. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. It's not like all of them, but those
Speaker 1: are in anybody's basic Oh my god, I gotta go.
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk to you. I don't care
Speaker 1: about your damn movies and whoever karates and police movies
Speaker 1: and whatever the hell it is? All right, this one question?
Speaker 1: Tell me you've seen Home alone? No, I haven't. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, what's the Macauley culture? Okay, Evan, I'm out.
Speaker 1: You're living a broken life, Vanessa. I love Vanessa. Did
Speaker 1: you hang up? Yeah? Evan? Are you still there or
Speaker 1: did you hang up to now? Are you pissing? I'm here, man? Yeah,
Speaker 1: well Evan, I have to ask anyway, Even though she
Speaker 1: hung up, Vanessa, would you like to go on a
Speaker 1: second date with Evan? We will pay for it? No,
Speaker 1: thank you, sir, Sorry Evan, she said, no, bab you
Speaker 1: didn't hear that. Well, fine, I don't want to go
Speaker 1: out with you anyway. You shut in. I'm so sorry
Speaker 1: you had to go out with that psycho. Yeah no, right, dude, Evan,
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't you use that as like an opening to say, hey,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. You haven't seen those I can watch it
Speaker 1: with you next time. I mean, I just I started
Speaker 1: out that way, but after like the first one or
Speaker 1: two where she was like, yeah, I don't know about that.
Speaker 1: Weren't the eighties a long time ago? Like just that crap,
Speaker 1: Like it just fired me up. Man, I can tell
Speaker 1: you don't know those movies. That's like the same as
Speaker 1: not knowing that Bill Clinton was president and that he
Speaker 1: got in the office, blame to me that you don't
Speaker 1: know that Wait what that happened? Evin had no idea.
Speaker 1: In the morning, the text message in at seven eight
Speaker 1: five nine too, it says it blows me away that
Speaker 1: eating a fly wasn't the worst thing that dude did
Speaker 1: on his date. Seriously broken Jewil in the morning talking
Speaker 1: about today's second date update. If you missed it, this guy,
Speaker 1: Evan tried to make his date Vanessa laugh by pretending
Speaker 1: to chomp at a fly as it was buzzing around
Speaker 1: their table, and he accidentally caught it with his teeth
Speaker 1: and then bit it in half. And when we call Vanessa,
Speaker 1: she told us that Evan shamed her for not understanding
Speaker 1: a joke that he made about mister Miyagi because there's
Speaker 1: a catching a fly thing in the Karate Kid, if
Speaker 1: you've ever seen that movie. And he was upset and
Speaker 1: he said that she's ridiculous because she's never seen Karate
Speaker 1: Kid and a few other popular eighties films. He was
Speaker 1: very upset about it, and there was no second date. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean he just needs to find another movie lover,
Speaker 1: I think yeah, I think so. Remember, if you want
Speaker 1: to do a second day update. Just email the show
Speaker 1: and we will call the person who didn't call you
Speaker 1: back ninety two point five