Speaker 1: You know that our show is way better than the rest.
Speaker 1: November and Lacy. Which one day you like best? It's
Speaker 1: the Emperor and Lace. Say, let's say an Amber show.
Speaker 1: You like Amber Moore, you like Lacey Lacy. Guys, Welcome
Speaker 1: to the Amber and Lacy Lacy Number Show. Today's show
Speaker 1: is about love. Okay. Each bit we're going to do
Speaker 1: is special for bound.
Speaker 2: Hold on, hold on, yeah, my phone was ringing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, hello, Yeah. They all called and said I'm the best. Sorry,
Speaker 3: my phone off. Normally I turned my phone off during
Speaker 3: the podcast. I'm so embarrassed. Guys, I never have my
Speaker 3: phone ring They called me.
Speaker 2: Okay, go carry on.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is the Amber and Lacy Lacy Amber Show.
Speaker 1: I was in the middle of a lie about how
Speaker 1: everything is about love and how it was for February fourteenth.
Speaker 2: But that's not true. Why did you say that?
Speaker 1: Well, we'll never know, because you interrupted me while I
Speaker 1: was trying to do a bit.
Speaker 2: That's not true. What I'm so sorry? Matter they do?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, imagine like matter too late? You said
Speaker 1: they do, so now you are. Now you're getting canceled.
Speaker 1: Run alongside me. Maybe you go signed it too quick?
Speaker 1: I did it I did it, Lacy.
Speaker 2: How was your week? My week has been great?
Speaker 3: Do you know what I've been thinking about all day
Speaker 3: is when I do get back to New York City,
Speaker 3: I need to go ice skating because somebody didn't go
Speaker 3: with me last year.
Speaker 2: I couldn't get one person who.
Speaker 3: I know?
Speaker 2: Did you if one did not go?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 2: Will someone go ice skating with me?
Speaker 3: Please ride in if you will go ice skate with me,
Speaker 3: pul Amber, her number is no.
Speaker 2: Five five five, Amby. I need to go ice skating.
Speaker 1: But if you will go ice skating with Lacey, you
Speaker 1: should tweet at her Lacey, you stink.
Speaker 2: That way she'll know you want to go ice skating
Speaker 2: with her.
Speaker 1: And if lay I want to go ice skating with her,
Speaker 1: say Lacey, you stink, and then she'll.
Speaker 2: Know the difference. What she'll know the difference, She'll know
Speaker 2: what you mean. I want to go ice skating so bad, Amber,
Speaker 2: Why don't you want to? Can you ice skate? I
Speaker 2: can ice skate? I don't think you can. I can
Speaker 2: ice skate, I can roller skate. I can do it. Now.
Speaker 1: If I fill I do think my bones would shatter
Speaker 1: like an old woman. And that's real. I do think
Speaker 1: I'm one fall away from a broken bone. Hmm, okay,
Speaker 1: we don't want that, but it's a pretty fun experiment.
Speaker 2: Oh I should do it.
Speaker 1: Also, I just like roller skating infinitely more than ice skating.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: I love roller skating emactly vibe. You're indoors your wars,
Speaker 1: you get a pickle, you need.
Speaker 3: To Oh you do Okay, now you've just want to
Speaker 3: be over. Okay, but wait, when's the last time you've
Speaker 3: been roller skating? And be honest, I.
Speaker 2: Would say five years ago.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, then maybe you know how to roller skate
Speaker 3: because I hadn't been in maybe ten years.
Speaker 2: Oh boy. It was like I didn't know how to
Speaker 2: roller skate anymore.
Speaker 3: It's not like getting on No, it's not like getting
Speaker 3: back on a bike. I was wobbly like a baby deer.
Speaker 3: And you know, I was the best. I was the
Speaker 3: best roller skater in Omaha, Nebraska people. I'm not lying.
Speaker 2: I was really good. It's true. And I was like,
Speaker 2: what's happened to me?
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 2: Move it or lose it.
Speaker 3: So now I gotta stay on my roller skating skills
Speaker 3: because I'm back at it now. But it's not the same, yeah,
Speaker 3: the same. Sorry, Lacey, I will not be joining the
Speaker 3: roller derby? So could you do a roller derby? Could
Speaker 3: you knock people down?
Speaker 2: Here's the thing about roller skating.
Speaker 1: I didn't lose any of my skill, but I lost
Speaker 1: one thousand percent of the ability to move that much. Like.
Speaker 2: I made one lap around and was like, God help me.
Speaker 2: Couldn't do it? Yeah, what is that?
Speaker 3: I didn't want? We don't weigh that much. My ankles
Speaker 3: were like, what am I holding up? That's all my
Speaker 3: ankle said was if you don't sitch a fat ask
Speaker 3: me you can't be holding up all it is too.
Speaker 3: My ankles were just the only thing that hurt. I
Speaker 3: was dying, and I was like, why can't I skate?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: Lacy and I are not big people? I don't know it?
Speaker 2: Go as for as to call us small? Yeah, I
Speaker 2: could not do it. My ankles gave out. My knees
Speaker 2: were like, hey, I dare you. I dare you to
Speaker 2: keep going. I got ten dollars to say, I'm about
Speaker 2: to pop off you. I got your Nie said it
Speaker 2: not and he you're about to pu pop off?
Speaker 1: Money said sometimes you gotta pop off at show niggas
Speaker 1: did we ever talk about oh that I'm dying Kendrick
Speaker 1: Lamar and Drake Beef when it happened.
Speaker 3: I don't think we did because we're all remember I
Speaker 3: didn't know about it, and we sat and Amber made
Speaker 3: us listen to every song in order because I didn't
Speaker 3: know what was going on.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 3: Listen, guys, and I listened to Anita Baker and Tony Braxton.
Speaker 3: There's no way that I listened to all them songs.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. So Amber explained to me what was
Speaker 3: going on, played the songs, and then that's how I
Speaker 3: found out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was really fun, and I think everyone should
Speaker 1: sit down and listen to all the songs in order.
Speaker 3: Amber, can you quickly explain to people that are listening
Speaker 3: that have no idea what There's still maybe five people
Speaker 3: out there that don't know, and I don't want anyone
Speaker 3: in the dark. While we're talking about this, what happened?
Speaker 1: And each other wrote a bunch of songs about it.
Speaker 1: Who cares? These children are crazy.
Speaker 2: They had a little beef, they're upset.
Speaker 3: It was like if Amber and I and we Amber
Speaker 3: and I always be writing distracts about each other.
Speaker 2: Listen to the.
Speaker 3: Beginning of these songs. Hey, this podcast a number one
Speaker 3: long distrust we made to put our songs together and
Speaker 3: call it the Amber Lazy Lazy Emberg Distract cause we
Speaker 3: got some good ones.
Speaker 2: We do, really, because if you've listened to.
Speaker 3: This podcast enough, you know we be having distracts at
Speaker 3: the beginning. So that's what the Kendrick Lamar and Drake thing.
Speaker 1: Is, and that's why they should get it all out
Speaker 1: in a podcast.
Speaker 3: So, but how do you feel about Kendrick Lamar now
Speaker 3: being on the What is he going to do the
Speaker 3: Super Bowl?
Speaker 2: What Kendrick Lamar?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's gonna crash.
Speaker 2: Why do I feel just a little bit like, oh no,
Speaker 2: he's gonna.
Speaker 1: Talk about drink come there and then.
Speaker 3: I don't care about any of these people, but I
Speaker 3: feel like, let it go.
Speaker 2: But he's not. He's gonna roast him on the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1: I mean to be fair. It's one of the best
Speaker 1: songs of all time. Listen, it's really beautiful. It's just
Speaker 1: beautiful work Amber. I have to say it, and Amber
Speaker 1: gets mad when I when I say this. But the
Speaker 1: funniest thing that I ever saw I was in Times Square.
Speaker 1: There was this little children's choir singing.
Speaker 3: And Seize the day. What is that from the newsies
Speaker 3: that musical sees it? Imagine that being mixed with they
Speaker 3: not like us? So it was like, and seize the day?
Speaker 3: They not like us? They not like us? Why they
Speaker 3: not like us? Has been mixed into everything everywhere. I
Speaker 3: was crying real tears when I heard that. I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: even the kids choir, yeah, singing Kendrick Lamar, like that
Speaker 3: shouldn't happened, but it was funny.
Speaker 1: Everyone Today on the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber Show,
Speaker 1: we have a sweety sweety pie. We have doctor John
Speaker 1: Paul Higgins. They are one of my favoritest people, just
Speaker 1: like a very delightful baby who we love.
Speaker 2: Got to stop calling people baby.
Speaker 1: But they don't a baby. They're so cute, cute little's
Speaker 1: only because they're so cute. So we have doctor John
Speaker 1: Paul Higgins. They are a podcast host, the Black Fat
Speaker 1: Femme Podcast, and they have a book coming out that's
Speaker 1: also called Black Fat fem revealing the power of visibly
Speaker 1: queer voices in media and learning to love yourself.
Speaker 2: Ooh nice, So we love them. You're going to fall
Speaker 2: in love with them too.
Speaker 4: In one minute right after these messages.
Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, hold on to your butt. Swatch out.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the second Party, you ever Lazy Lacy
Speaker 1: and Ambras show. Today's guest is our perfect Baby. They're
Speaker 1: the creator, executive producer, and the host of the Black
Speaker 1: Fat Fem podcast.
Speaker 2: Please welcome, Doctor John Paul Higgins. We did it, Joe.
Speaker 2: We well, we kind of did it. We only twenty five.
Speaker 5: Jill.
Speaker 3: Okay, hold on, hold up, Okay, okay, okay, okay, now, Amber,
Speaker 3: let's hold our nails up.
Speaker 2: Got it? Yes?
Speaker 6: Yes, So so I'm calling them my Thanksgiving nails. They
Speaker 6: have they have a little bit it's like a tinge
Speaker 6: of like a reddish brown, and then there's a gold line.
Speaker 6: And I'm calling them my Thanksgiving nails. And then I know.
Speaker 6: I didn't know we was gonna be.
Speaker 2: Doing nails today.
Speaker 3: I didn't know because I really thought I'm a raggedy
Speaker 3: but I knew ambers was gonna be always very terrible. Like,
Speaker 3: look look at mine, just plain, just plain against is
Speaker 3: okay to be playing in a world. Yes, but that's hair. Yes,
Speaker 3: I look at everybody's hair.
Speaker 2: We did that. We all got the memory. Naturally, it's fluffy.
Speaker 1: Watch out John bun Oh do people call you John
Speaker 1: Bon because.
Speaker 7: You know you and I will hold on to that.
Speaker 7: I will be I will John John, Yes, John you are.
Speaker 7: Is it true that you wrote a book?
Speaker 6: Know it's it's It's a true thing. It's a real thing.
Speaker 6: It is a tangible thing. It will be in You
Speaker 6: can go to your local library, go to your black bookstore.
Speaker 6: You can get it March twenty fifth. You can pre
Speaker 6: order it, now, that is the thing I've been telling everyone.
Speaker 2: Pre order it.
Speaker 6: Go to go to my website and there's like six
Speaker 6: or seven different places you can click and you can
Speaker 6: pre order it. But yes, March twenty fifth, twenty twenty five,
Speaker 6: there will be a book with multiple pages that folks
Speaker 6: can read from me.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be I'm gonna be selling some out of
Speaker 3: my car.
Speaker 2: Wherever you need this book, I'm gonna be there. You
Speaker 2: see Lacy Oh.
Speaker 1: Pop coll cop it and then it'll be full of
Speaker 1: a book called what you Want is the name of
Speaker 1: the fim.
Speaker 2: The title is very long, so here let me.
Speaker 3: I always have to like google it because the title
Speaker 3: is so damn long.
Speaker 6: I've just been calling it the Black Fat Film Book.
Speaker 6: But it's a full title, and I have yet to memorize.
Speaker 2: It yet, and I live on the show that I
Speaker 2: don't want.
Speaker 6: I don't want whyely to yell at me. So I'll
Speaker 6: make sure that my good because my editor wanted. I'm
Speaker 6: just say the whole thing, okay. So revealing the power
Speaker 6: of visibly queer voices in media and learning to love yourself, you.
Speaker 2: Did the hard work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's hard to memorize. Yes, perfectly, fine, No, write
Speaker 1: it on your hand.
Speaker 6: It. Every time I came up with the title we we,
Speaker 6: I was in the back of an uber. I was
Speaker 6: in the back of a uber going back, like, texting
Speaker 6: my editor about the title, and we came up with
Speaker 6: that one. But it is very long and I have
Speaker 6: yet to memorize it. But eventually I will know it.
Speaker 2: Eventually I won't know it. Yeah, yeah, that's my problem.
Speaker 2: You've been away. Yes, yeah, I don't know if I
Speaker 2: have one in New York, Charlotte. When you say doctor John,
Speaker 2: do you feel not?
Speaker 1: No, But that's true, John John. It's the sex shop.
Speaker 1: It's the sex toy store in Omaha. I'm in Omaha, Nebraska,
Speaker 1: doctor johnes. So when I say your nang, Doctor John.
Speaker 2: John, Oh, hey, Hey, would.
Speaker 3: You can't just say you can't say doctor John in
Speaker 3: front of a bunch of people in Omaha.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to get you know what. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: tell my friends.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna text my friend who used to live there,
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna just be like doctor John and I'm
Speaker 3: gonna see.
Speaker 2: What he responds with doctor John's.
Speaker 6: I think he's from Omaha to he lives out here
Speaker 6: now in California, but he's from He gonna act like
Speaker 6: he don't know, but he knows, you knows. I'm gonna
Speaker 6: tell I'm gonna text that's doctor James, doctor James Simmons.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna text him, and I'm gonna say, Mamas, what
Speaker 6: does doctor John mean?
Speaker 2: And see what he says when it's doctor John's possessive?
Speaker 2: Am I right? I think that belongs, that booty belongs.
Speaker 2: I'm googling it, right, I'm making sure.
Speaker 1: When I hear h doctor John, I think doctor John,
Speaker 1: doctor John, doctor John will with civil rights leader saying
Speaker 1: it all morning.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well that's also a little bit of me too.
Speaker 6: I also people's rights.
Speaker 2: It makes you sing a double.
Speaker 3: It's not well, that's the liberty of people to wear lingerie.
Speaker 1: You can't aware now these things were named after you.
Speaker 6: Yes, m hm, they know, they know, they know who
Speaker 6: they they've been new the.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Okay, we're gonna this is not going to be like
Speaker 1: our regular podcast. This is going to be the one
Speaker 1: where we stay on track and it's not too much fun. No,
Speaker 1: we're on track. Hey, everybody, Okay, okay, the first step,
Speaker 1: all right, don't I didn't know. I don't even have enough.
Speaker 1: I heard yea that yeah Doctor John's show.
Speaker 2: They were they were How did it go? Tell me everything?
Speaker 1: Can I be extremely honest? Yes, this is what happened.
Speaker 1: You ever hang out with young people and you realize.
Speaker 2: Whippers so old?
Speaker 5: I'm so old like not old like not really you
Speaker 5: old like to I mean yeah, yeah, like the body
Speaker 5: is old, the brain is old old, but those like
Speaker 5: old sensibilities.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I can't help.
Speaker 6: My co host is thirty, so so Joho is still
Speaker 6: a little Joho is.
Speaker 2: Right in this It is thirty that I have one
Speaker 2: r thirty year old jack.
Speaker 3: Yes, there's there's this there's this thing where it's like
Speaker 3: Jojo lives between.
Speaker 2: I don't know the AA.
Speaker 6: There's a a R P and then there's like what
Speaker 6: do you call it, there's like and then jin alpha.
Speaker 6: They're like right in the middle of both of them,
Speaker 6: and so they still have a touch of both. And
Speaker 6: it's like I'm the I'm the one that's like starting
Speaker 6: to touch a arp a little, and Joe it's just Jojo.
Speaker 2: Keeps me young.
Speaker 6: But yeah, I definitely understood. I feel that often, very
Speaker 6: very often, it's really bad.
Speaker 1: And when it's like people who are especially when people
Speaker 1: work in like d I inclusivity, then they will leave
Speaker 1: yours in the dust. They will leave you in the dust,
Speaker 1: and it'll be like, God, damn, I thought I knew
Speaker 1: some ship. But I like it though, because they can
Speaker 1: become the type learning person who yeah, everyone can hang with,
Speaker 1: and that's my main goal, well ship, not everybody know well.
Speaker 2: And that's when I would saying I was on a
Speaker 2: cruise ship this weekend.
Speaker 3: I just kept looking around at all the people and
Speaker 3: I was going, I wonder who you voted for it?
Speaker 2: Who did it? Yeah, it is.
Speaker 3: It's so funny now because your eyes just look around
Speaker 3: and you just like you want to cackle, you want
Speaker 3: to be kindy, and then you realize, hmm, I think
Speaker 3: they voted against my right right name, stand up and
Speaker 3: say your name like I voted, Yeah, say your name.
Speaker 2: See, so I'm with you. I'm with you.
Speaker 6: And it has been a very rough week because part
Speaker 6: of me has been like he he fun times with
Speaker 6: white people on a boat. But then every time there's
Speaker 6: that small moment where I would.
Speaker 2: Be like, I know they voted for that man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, please, I've always wanted to go on a cruise.
Speaker 2: Where did you go? What was your experience? Yeah?
Speaker 6: You know? So every every so me and my partner
Speaker 6: have been ever since we've gotten together. He's known that
Speaker 6: I'm a huge I love cruising. I've been a big,
Speaker 6: big cruiser. But I was just telling my one on
Speaker 6: the way home while we were rushing to get through
Speaker 6: the door because there was a hole to do this morning,
Speaker 6: we're trying to get off the boat. I have learned that.
Speaker 2: So how do I say this without sounding elitist?
Speaker 6: I have learned that Carnival was fun for the younger me,
Speaker 6: like the twenty five thirty year old me, the thirty
Speaker 6: nine year old me now needs a princess or Norwegian,
Speaker 6: or a celebrity or a virgin. I have just I
Speaker 6: can't do like this was the last cruise. This was
Speaker 6: the last Carnival cruise I can do. And what I
Speaker 6: mean by that is is just like and maybe Lacy
Speaker 6: you want I mean, maybe you understand.
Speaker 2: My friends, my friends the cruise tell me, do not
Speaker 2: do Carnival. That's not Carnival.
Speaker 6: It's like I said, fun, right, Carnival was fun for
Speaker 6: what it's fun for, and Carnival was fun for alcohol.
Speaker 6: I am not a drinker, and so because I'm not
Speaker 6: a drinker, I did get the bubbly package, meaning I
Speaker 6: did get my soda like I had my soda. I
Speaker 6: had my pepsi one, which they switched from coke products,
Speaker 6: which I'm really really upset about.
Speaker 2: But anyway, and.
Speaker 6: So yeah, the cruise. The cruise itself was great. We
Speaker 6: went to basically they called the Mexican River Era. We
Speaker 6: went to the We went to Cabo and I jumped
Speaker 6: off a boat and that was fun. And then yeah,
Speaker 6: there was like a we we did like one of
Speaker 6: those the excursions, and then the excursion it was snarkling
Speaker 6: in the water, and the baby boat that we got
Speaker 6: on they had like a side where you could like
Speaker 6: jump off into the water, and then they did some
Speaker 6: stuff to bring fishes for us to be able to see.
Speaker 2: It was really fun.
Speaker 6: It was a really good brave Yeah. Yeah, I never
Speaker 6: would have done it, but there was Yeah. But then
Speaker 6: there was a part of me that was like, when
Speaker 6: will you ever get to jump off of a boat
Speaker 6: in cowboat Girl, Cob jump off the boat. And then
Speaker 6: we went to we went into Nada and we went
Speaker 6: on a wine tour and that was just about it.
Speaker 6: So now we're home.
Speaker 1: Yeay, was it worth it?
Speaker 2: Was it worth it? When you repeat it and do that,
Speaker 2: was it worth?
Speaker 1: I mean?
Speaker 2: So this is the other part about it too.
Speaker 3: I'm learning that Carnival is their system has changed the
Speaker 3: lots from from COVID when we went. So we went
Speaker 3: on a Carnival cruise in twenty nineteen and we did
Speaker 3: a seven day and it felt like everything was included.
Speaker 3: Like when you got on the boat, if you paid
Speaker 3: the five dollars, it gave you not only the chat feature,
Speaker 3: but it also gave you the Internet. It also gave
Speaker 3: like and then like same thing with the Bubbly package.
Speaker 3: It gave you water, it gave you soda. It basically
Speaker 3: gave you anything that wasn't alcohol. And so it's just
Speaker 3: a vef when a cranberrig estabish whenever you want to.
Speaker 3: And this time around going on Carnival, I just felt
Speaker 3: like we were nickel and dimed for everything. I basically
Speaker 3: call Carnival spirit now is the spirit.
Speaker 2: They shouldn't have done it. They brought that on themselvesselves.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's very much giving spirit. It's like, yeah, your
Speaker 6: ticket will be twenty five dollars, but you'll have to
Speaker 6: fly the plane and then everything else. Additionally to flying
Speaker 6: the plane, it'll be ten dollars for the seatbelt. It'll
Speaker 6: be an additional two dollars for the seat like. That's
Speaker 6: what it felt like. And so I was like, yeah,
Speaker 6: I told I just looked at my partner house, Babe,
Speaker 6: I think we're too grown, Like we're almost forty. I
Speaker 6: was like, babe, I think we've outgrown Carnival. He was
Speaker 6: like yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, yeah, yeah, we've
Speaker 6: out Carnival.
Speaker 1: I could never go on a cruise ship. I'm too scared.
Speaker 1: I don't think I could do it. But before, back
Speaker 1: when that was like a real job he could get
Speaker 1: at the Second City, you know, performing on the cruise ships.
Speaker 2: I was down. I was like, I kid, you think
Speaker 2: of anything better. Oh, I never want you try? Did
Speaker 2: you never getship? Oh no, she didn't do it. I
Speaker 2: never did it. Yeah, I'm going on a cruise. I'm
Speaker 2: going on a cruise. You've never been on one, Lacy.
Speaker 3: I've never been on one. All my girlfriends go, so
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna choose. Look at what they do, and
Speaker 3: they do the bougie bougie ones and that's yeah, that's
Speaker 3: the Norwegian. I cannot be below. I gotta be up on.
Speaker 3: I gotta be able to be looking out at all times.
Speaker 3: I can't be a box.
Speaker 2: We were, we were my love.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just my COVID's gonna hit. We're gonna be locked
Speaker 3: in rooms for twelve days.
Speaker 6: Did you did you see the documentary? There's a documentary
Speaker 6: about the people who got stuck on the boat. I
Speaker 6: know there was poop everywhere. I saw that game upon
Speaker 6: the toilets.
Speaker 2: I would not. I can't.
Speaker 1: That documentary stopped me from ever wanting to go on
Speaker 1: a cruise.
Speaker 2: That was a nightmare. Watch if you don't watch on
Speaker 2: the cruise.
Speaker 3: Yes, we did it, and I can sweep, so worst.
Speaker 2: Comes the worst.
Speaker 6: Ten days for a cruise is a lot, you know,
Speaker 6: the most I also also tell people, if you've never
Speaker 6: been on a cruise before, try to find a cruise
Speaker 6: where you're doing because even I heard someone complaining about
Speaker 6: it when we were trying to disembark. There's a woman
Speaker 6: who said this was her first cruise as she did
Speaker 6: five days. And I always I would tell people, very
Speaker 6: very kindly, please don't do a five to seven day
Speaker 6: cruise for your first cruise, because it is a lot
Speaker 6: to take in in terms of like there's like once
Speaker 6: you're on the boat, there's really like, yeah, they plan
Speaker 6: stuff for you to do, but there's nothing for you
Speaker 6: to do, if that makes sense, if you're not an
Speaker 6: avid people person, that you can go up and just
Speaker 6: chill out on the deck and talk to people and
Speaker 6: be in the pool and do Nah, a five day
Speaker 6: is a lot for somebody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what I would.
Speaker 3: Hide, this is what I want to do. I want
Speaker 3: to sit and look out at the water and eat
Speaker 3: and drink. I don't want to go to no show,
Speaker 3: I don't want to see anything. I don't want to
Speaker 3: do any of that. I just want to sit in
Speaker 3: the sun drinking.
Speaker 6: I would say maybe try Royal Caribbean for like a
Speaker 6: first cruise. Royal Caribbean, I think is really good. We
Speaker 6: had a good experience. Las sure, we did Royal Caribbean
Speaker 6: and we had a really good experience. We only went
Speaker 6: back to Carnival because Carnival hit us and was like, hey,
Speaker 6: you have taken five cruises with us before your six
Speaker 6: to one will give you a discount. So and they
Speaker 6: corded a you mm hmmm, And I looked at my partner.
Speaker 3: Yep, you went back to your A really did you
Speaker 3: went back to your egg on the block?
Speaker 2: Car said you you want to come back to this baby?
Speaker 2: You were good these days. Are you doing all right? Baby? Hey?
Speaker 3: Baby a a baby? And remember when we used to
Speaker 3: have a good time. Remember we used we all playing.
Speaker 3: You got shipmatized. Everybody's been shipmatized. I've been digmatized. Everybody
Speaker 3: been there. You've got shimatized. Beside you got ship that
Speaker 3: is pleasing to me. Yes, you were all shipmatized.
Speaker 6: And the food, I mean the food was okay, but
Speaker 6: it it just wasn't.
Speaker 3: I mean, I had a good I'm not gonna hold
Speaker 3: you now. I did eat up all those people's ice
Speaker 3: cream cones. And I would and I would and would again.
Speaker 3: I would again. Are you this person, do you get
Speaker 3: off the ship because I'm not getting off the ship.
Speaker 2: We did get off the ship twice.
Speaker 3: I just saw a clip of a couple getting left
Speaker 3: and they were yelling. And the people walked up to
Speaker 3: me and was like, the ship is moving and they
Speaker 3: were like, it's living us.
Speaker 2: They're screaming, yes.
Speaker 3: Living, but gonna wait for you.
Speaker 6: So let's talk about that. So for anybody who has
Speaker 6: never cruised, this is what I tell people. You know,
Speaker 6: so people, this is what we were dealing with today.
Speaker 6: And I hate to get on my social justice bag bandwagon,
Speaker 6: but y'all know who y'all brought onto the show. You
Speaker 6: know what, people love to think that they're special, and
Speaker 6: a lot of other people do too, but white people
Speaker 6: have it in them. It's innately in them that they
Speaker 6: feel like they are special and there's nothing that anyone
Speaker 6: could say to them to change that. And so what
Speaker 6: happens is is these people go on these cruises and
Speaker 6: because they are cheap, they'll go I don't want to
Speaker 6: pay for the excursion because wherever I am it's cheaper
Speaker 6: for me to do it on my own, which is
Speaker 6: true on my own. However, what people don't know about
Speaker 6: cruises and excursions are if you book an excursion outside
Speaker 6: of your cruise, they have no like there's no legal
Speaker 6: liability for them to have to wait on you. And
Speaker 6: so we had this happened a couple of years ago
Speaker 6: when we went to me we went to Ensenada. We
Speaker 6: went to the La Buffador.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you know what that is, but
Speaker 3: basically in Ininsenata, they have what they call a blowhole,
Speaker 3: and it's it is very much a blow it's a
Speaker 3: really cool it's like a what are they called it.
Speaker 6: It's like it's not it's not man made. It's a
Speaker 6: guy the very similar it's a man made like not ma'am.
Speaker 6: It's like rock formations that are natural and when the
Speaker 6: water hits the rock, it like shoots up water.
Speaker 3: It's really cool. It's very very cool to watch. I
Speaker 3: share this story because when you get to Ensenada, you
Speaker 3: get two options, or when you get on Carnival, they'll say, oh,
Speaker 3: do you want to go to the La Buffedora. Okay,
Speaker 3: it's fifty five dollars per person. Yay, fifty five dollars.
Speaker 3: I get on a bus. I get to go to
Speaker 3: the Buffedora. I get to see the water. However, when
Speaker 3: you get to in Soenada and you get off the boat,
Speaker 3: there's a man standing there with a sign. He'll say
Speaker 3: lab Buffedora trips four dollars, and so people will go, ooh,
Speaker 3: four dollars. I get to go see the La Buffedora
Speaker 3: for four dollars.
Speaker 6: However, what they don't tell you is that it takes
Speaker 6: an hour and a half to get from the ship
Speaker 6: to the little Buffedora. And if in that hour and
Speaker 6: a half, when you're with that man for four dollars,
Speaker 6: there's extra traffic that's keeping you from getting to the
Speaker 6: little Buffedora, guess what happens to you when it comes
Speaker 6: back time for you to get back on that boat.
Speaker 6: There's no right you're too you're late, so the boat
Speaker 6: will leave you. So that's what I tell people. People
Speaker 6: always the cheap what they say, the sheep always comes
Speaker 6: out expensive. That's what happens is that people get left
Speaker 6: because they think that they're saving some money by doing
Speaker 6: it their way, and then they end up getting left.
Speaker 6: So that's probably what happened to those people. They probably
Speaker 6: happened to.
Speaker 3: People they don't have their passport on. Yeah, how do
Speaker 3: you get back? You someone have to ride you on
Speaker 3: a small boat basically, or you have to you have
Speaker 3: to fly into the next location and you have to
Speaker 3: pray that you have your ID. So yeah, you have
Speaker 3: to basically. So like for instance, like with us, like
Speaker 3: we're we're looking at doing the Alaska one and so
Speaker 3: next year that's what I want to do. And but
Speaker 3: it's it's I think it's like five or six seven days,
Speaker 3: and I think one of the days they go up
Speaker 3: through Canada. So if we were to go and get
Speaker 3: off wherever one of the stops were in Canada, if
Speaker 3: we were to get left, we would have to fly
Speaker 3: to the next stop. So that's an additional two three,
Speaker 3: four hundred dollars you'd have today because you tried to
Speaker 3: be cheap and not book the excursion through the ship.
Speaker 2: M h, I'm not getting off the ship. You said,
Speaker 2: there's no reason to.
Speaker 3: The we are just gonna sit with lazy as hell.
Speaker 3: I'm not walking now. I'm getting off the ship to walk.
Speaker 2: I can walk.
Speaker 3: I'm not walking around. No, I'm not risking at all.
Speaker 3: I feel like vacation.
Speaker 2: Yes I can. I can't just sit down.
Speaker 6: Please tell my husband. He got mad at me on
Speaker 6: Monday because I slept in. I didn't want to go
Speaker 6: to the comedy show. I wanted to sleep.
Speaker 8: Him on the podcast, you gotta go outside, and I
Speaker 8: say rest, but I said, my rest is resistance.
Speaker 6: I said, this is I'm going to bed. I said
Speaker 6: black people deserve sleep too.
Speaker 3: And I turned over and I put on my iemask
Speaker 3: and my seatpat machine and I went to bed.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not Lewis and Clark yep not. We's
Speaker 3: been discovered. We've seen it all. I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2: Discovered Columbus either. I met a lady.
Speaker 3: I met a lady who black woman. She's probably in
Speaker 3: her eighties, and she was cracking me up. She goes,
Speaker 3: I go on Alaskan cruise every year. She said, I've
Speaker 3: been on twelve and I said, I looked at her.
Speaker 3: I said, you get off the boat, don't you cause
Speaker 3: you look at venture. She said, I get off the
Speaker 3: boat every time. And on the crew she goes with,
Speaker 3: they go and look at they want to go look
Speaker 3: at the bears. So there's a man with a shotgun
Speaker 3: that walks off with them. Then there's a man up
Speaker 3: a little ways so that he with a shotgun so
Speaker 3: he can see them coming, and he has the whistle.
Speaker 3: So they said, if you hear the whistle, you have
Speaker 3: to run to the man. She said, she goes to
Speaker 3: look at bears. I'm not going with you. So that's
Speaker 3: this other story. I'll give a fuck about.
Speaker 2: What else do you have to say? Say? I'm not
Speaker 2: doing that.
Speaker 3: So I said that they ever blow the whistle? She
Speaker 3: I said, have they ever blown the whistle? She said,
Speaker 3: just once?
Speaker 2: No, that would be yeah.
Speaker 3: The mad go quickly because bears run faster than you think.
Speaker 3: You might see the bear and it's running. You think
Speaker 3: it's not gonna get you, It can get you. You
Speaker 3: don't even need to tell me this.
Speaker 2: Why would I go? And I've already paid my money.
Speaker 3: Now I'm paying my money to possibly get mauled by
Speaker 3: a bear and show the whistle.
Speaker 1: Put my hands up and.
Speaker 2: A little bit.
Speaker 3: But baby, you got to run, You're gonna and I well,
Speaker 3: it's too late.
Speaker 2: This is Pam at this point.
Speaker 3: Can I see the bears from the bus because I'm
Speaker 3: getting off the bus either, Like, that's as far as
Speaker 3: I'm going to.
Speaker 6: People do some really interesting things for for vacation, and
Speaker 6: I just the same thing with camping. I always tell
Speaker 6: people that you should go camping. Absolutely not. I have
Speaker 6: been homeless before. I don't ever want to go back there.
Speaker 6: No shade to the houseless and homeless community, because I
Speaker 6: help them. I work very much every day to I
Speaker 6: work for a nonprofit that helps to make sure that
Speaker 6: people have housing.
Speaker 2: But the like the me, the the me who was houseless,
Speaker 2: I would never want to go camping. What do you
Speaker 2: know what I had to do to get this house? Hello?
Speaker 2: I had to do?
Speaker 6: Do you know how many people I've had to argue
Speaker 6: with to do you know how many things?
Speaker 2: Of how many contracts I have to fight to get
Speaker 2: people to pay me on time? And then you want
Speaker 2: me to go outside and sleep in a tent?
Speaker 3: We go outside inside, Hello, McDonald's home, our ancestors, y'all?
Speaker 2: No, and fight for this? No, that's all about that.
Speaker 3: Often I always slamber if time travel is real and
Speaker 3: so journal truth, seize me outside? What a hot dog
Speaker 3: on the stitch.
Speaker 2: She'll be like, wait, what year is it?
Speaker 1: What we did?
Speaker 2: Ain't nobody gonna finch me? Nobody?
Speaker 3: She would us out, she would would drag you back inside.
Speaker 2: Yes, what are you doing? Side cannot disappoint a time.
Speaker 6: They're just now you've given me, You've given me ideas
Speaker 6: for what I should be doing for an episode in
Speaker 6: a couple of weeks. That is, I'm gonna do a
Speaker 6: whole episode on the things that black people will not do,
Speaker 6: and one of them is kemping. I don't, it's comprehend it.
Speaker 6: And if you, oh, well, then we could just get
Speaker 6: a trailer. No, because there's not enough space in the trailer.
Speaker 6: I don't want to be outside whatever area you want
Speaker 6: me to visit. If there's not bears roaming around, I'll
Speaker 6: go look. I'll go look at the mountain.
Speaker 3: Then I gotta come back to something with a roof
Speaker 3: and a and a just in case y'all didn't know
Speaker 3: what a roof was, a roof a locked door.
Speaker 2: I'm cool.
Speaker 6: I will run at My husband really wants to go
Speaker 6: to Yosamite, and he's like, we should go to Yosamite,
Speaker 6: and I'm like, we can go to Yosamite. However, I
Speaker 6: don't want to walk in nature. I don't want to
Speaker 6: I don't want to see no bugs, I don't want
Speaker 6: to see no animals. So I'm the girl that will
Speaker 6: roll the window down and be like, louis most nice outside?
Speaker 6: And then I'm like, push the window.
Speaker 3: I heard that where we staying at, where we staying at,
Speaker 3: what it looked like, what the hotel look like, what
Speaker 3: the cabin look like?
Speaker 2: Amen?
Speaker 3: When I say cabin, that better be the most glamorous cabin, not.
Speaker 2: Not John Paul's. I don't. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I am trying to plan a vacation right now, actually,
Speaker 1: and I want to stay in a villa on the beach,
Speaker 1: and I want the beach to be right there, and
Speaker 1: I want to touch the beach, and then I want
Speaker 1: to go back in the bed, and from the bed,
Speaker 1: I want to look at the beach.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really nice. Amber and I are the same
Speaker 2: person that all we want you normally have.
Speaker 6: That's Hawaii. Hawaii has the ConA Island. If you want
Speaker 6: to look at stay in Kona. I think that if
Speaker 6: that's something you're thinking about. I've gone to Maui once
Speaker 6: and I've gone to Honolulu twice, and they have a
Speaker 6: couple of places in Honolulu. But Honolulu has a lot
Speaker 6: of people. So if you're looking for like more just
Speaker 6: kind of like, I like people, but I also like
Speaker 6: nature more. I think Conah would probably be somewhere you
Speaker 6: should probably entertain.
Speaker 2: Are you thinking about becoming a travel agent? No? Do
Speaker 2: you want to think again?
Speaker 3: I could think about it one more time.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 6: I think it's just people are picky, and I think
Speaker 6: being a travel agent you have to have a lot
Speaker 6: of patients. And I think for me, I enjoy planning
Speaker 6: my own trips. My husband actually is the one who
Speaker 6: helps more than anything. I want a second, I think Maui.
Speaker 3: The only reason, the only thing that's kept me from
Speaker 3: wanting to go back to Maui the last couple of
Speaker 3: years is because of the fires. And I know that
Speaker 3: they're very much Yeah, they're still very much trying to recover.
Speaker 3: And I understand, like I know that travel is important
Speaker 3: to their economy.
Speaker 2: But I also worry that.
Speaker 6: My americanness, how do I say this, My my need
Speaker 6: for a vacation is not as as it's not greater
Speaker 6: than their need for space to do whatever they need
Speaker 6: to do to get their lives back in order. Yeah,
Speaker 6: And so that's why that's what's been keeping me from
Speaker 6: Maui is is knowing that they're still recovering. But what
Speaker 6: I was gonna say about being a travel agent, Like
Speaker 6: I said, I just think people are just too I
Speaker 6: don't know, people are too needy and I don't have
Speaker 6: the energy for it.
Speaker 2: You know, do you speak another language?
Speaker 3: I do not, Yes, I do. Actually I speak ebonics,
Speaker 3: so do I. I think gay is a language too queer.
Speaker 3: I speak M so maybe maybe maybe, But you know,
Speaker 3: I don't speak anything outside of English.
Speaker 1: If you could choose another language, what would it be?
Speaker 2: Funny? And gosh, you're gonna get me canceled.
Speaker 3: I watch what you said, you know, I want to
Speaker 3: say it, but I'm trying to figure out how the
Speaker 3: right way to say it.
Speaker 6: So problematic, So I would like to be able to
Speaker 6: speak I think my nel tech is Vietnamese, and I
Speaker 6: think I will And that's because I want to know
Speaker 6: what they're saying when I'm there. Well, I don't know
Speaker 6: if they're talking about me, because actually.
Speaker 3: The one that you always go to loves you to death,
Speaker 3: but no one three seeds down.
Speaker 2: They're probably talking ship.
Speaker 6: But I would like I would like to know what
Speaker 6: they're saying about other people, That's what That's the thing.
Speaker 6: I would love to know what those conversations are about
Speaker 6: the people who come in. So that's so Vietnamese is
Speaker 6: high up there for me. I would also like to
Speaker 6: be able to speak in a more realistic I think,
Speaker 6: and this is again the social justice in me. I
Speaker 6: would also like to be able to speak Spanish because
Speaker 6: there are a lot of like where I live in
Speaker 6: southern California, there still are a lot of folks who
Speaker 6: like are very much in the mind of like, I
Speaker 6: don't want to learn English and I'm not going to,
Speaker 6: and so it would be very helpful. I feel like
Speaker 6: in my work, especially in my line of work of
Speaker 6: working in a nonprofit, that I'd be able to speak
Speaker 6: to them and translate for them and not feel like
Speaker 6: I'm having to wait to get them the services and
Speaker 6: the help that they need.
Speaker 2: Amber is very good at speaking different languages.
Speaker 1: See, I don't speak any other languages really umber.
Speaker 2: I speak English and Dutch. That's real. Oh I speak.
Speaker 1: Signing exact English, which is a dead sign language that
Speaker 1: no one speaks anymore.
Speaker 2: Oh I be Oh some Spanish, she can get around.
Speaker 2: It's that translation for the as L kids in school.
Speaker 3: Because what do they call that? Is it conversational Spanish
Speaker 3: is what they call it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I can do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can make myself understood kind of but maybe
Speaker 1: that's it.
Speaker 2: Is there a language I'm forgetting. I think that's you're
Speaker 2: good at learning languages. But I can learn language.
Speaker 1: I cannot add or subtract, I cannot find where I
Speaker 1: am when I'm at I can learn a language.
Speaker 2: I remember once we went to Paris, and you did
Speaker 2: an excellent job there. That's true. We we we we we.
Speaker 2: I got lost friends, I kid you not.
Speaker 3: I got lost and that was the scariest feeling I
Speaker 3: ever had. I've never been more afraid than getting lost
Speaker 3: on that damn train. And it was rainy, and I
Speaker 3: had four bags with me. I didn't know where I was.
Speaker 3: I had to get off and call the uber to
Speaker 3: take me to Was it Charles de Gaulle, that big
Speaker 3: as airport.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what happened to me. I got lost on
Speaker 2: the train. Yeah that's that's unpleasant. What wasn't in for meds?
Speaker 3: So you still got open up, got a bad would travel.
Speaker 6: So I have to take so I had to do
Speaker 6: something for I heart when I was there. So I
Speaker 6: knew going to France that I had to leave France
Speaker 6: to go back to New York to do something for iHeart.
Speaker 6: And so I had brought some like extra stuff because
Speaker 6: I was like, oh, well, if I'm going to be
Speaker 6: in New York for the first time, I might as
Speaker 6: well just stay there for a week.
Speaker 2: And that's what I did.
Speaker 3: So I brought basically enough to be able to hold
Speaker 3: me for the five days I was in I was
Speaker 3: in France and then I went to New York.
Speaker 6: But yeah, I had one of the bags that I
Speaker 6: had I bought. I bought a Louis Vaton bag in Paris,
Speaker 6: of course, and then I brought the wallet to Alah.
Speaker 6: I'm a Louis Aton or every pretty much at this
Speaker 6: point every bag I have as a Louis Vaton bag,
Speaker 6: and I just try to tell myself I can get
Speaker 6: one yearly, that's my cap.
Speaker 2: So that way I don't broke.
Speaker 6: So they're real, like TLC, they are real. I don't
Speaker 6: want to go broke.
Speaker 3: I don't want to end up sitting next to Tony
Speaker 3: Braxton somewhere.
Speaker 2: But bankrupt is so they're very sustainable.
Speaker 1: The views of Doctor John do not reflect the views
Speaker 1: of the Lacy and Amber Show.
Speaker 3: They are editors get cut down of state, Like I
Speaker 3: don't want anybody getting a season, this sister getting in trouble.
Speaker 2: I know how it goes.
Speaker 3: But I just said, like, we know, people have been
Speaker 3: bankrupt because they spin more than they make.
Speaker 2: Not any too many.
Speaker 3: No, I have kept I've kept myself at one bag.
Speaker 3: Price is good and they're sustainable. My girlfriend owns a
Speaker 3: store that sells Chanelle Louis.
Speaker 2: Yes, and she's making a killing, so bring it back
Speaker 2: and sell it.
Speaker 3: See and also to like so I have on some
Speaker 3: balinciagas and I bought them on feebe and I bought
Speaker 3: them fee They were on eBay for three hundred and
Speaker 3: ten dollars. I need you to get them from my store,
Speaker 3: my friend's store. We're talking, okay, be helping her out? Sure, Yeah,
Speaker 3: I welcome. I'm very much.
Speaker 2: I love a woman. Wait, hold on, is it is it? Omaha? Yes?
Speaker 2: It is status bought from her. It's my status lucks. Yes, bitch,
Speaker 2: look you so bad? Yes, thank you.
Speaker 3: Let's do the math real quick. I was like that madlucks. Yes, yes,
Speaker 3: my status lucks, and she will.
Speaker 2: Get you anything. Let's say you say it.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I can't find this Louis bag. They
Speaker 3: continue this five years ago. Christy like, what what you want?
Speaker 3: We'll call you man.
Speaker 6: She was trying to get me one this before I
Speaker 6: bought the one that I bought from the actual Levton store.
Speaker 6: I was there was one that I was looking for
Speaker 6: and she founded for me. It was just a little
Speaker 6: more expensive than what I wanted to spend and so
Speaker 6: but yes, but me and Christy. I have her phone number,
Speaker 6: I really do. I have really directly Bill tex.
Speaker 2: Her small crazy. I went to high school with so
Speaker 2: much ye oh my gosh, love it. Shout out.
Speaker 1: I have to point this out. It has been thirty
Speaker 1: five minutes. We have not said one word about this show.
Speaker 1: Nothing that we are supposed to talk about have we
Speaker 1: talked about?
Speaker 2: Also, we don't need to.
Speaker 1: We haven't taken a break. Okay, so let's do it now.
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, we will we ever get this show back
Speaker 1: on track? Who knows, but you're going to find out
Speaker 1: after these messages is.
Speaker 2: The Lacy message you.
Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, we're back with more of the Amber and
Speaker 1: Lacy Lacey and Amber show. We got doctor John Paul
Speaker 1: with us, and they're a little too cute. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: and that's me talking, but for real, what shut up Lacey?
Speaker 1: What a that is so rough in what I just said?
Speaker 1: Shut up Lacey? We always we always do that. Shut
Speaker 1: up Amber, and then you over pronounce their name. Shut up, Lacey,
Speaker 1: and that's how you're roughing. Okay, Lacey Lamar.
Speaker 2: Yes, I may. What are we doing? I know what
Speaker 2: we're doing. What do we gonna do? What are you saying? No?
Speaker 3: No, no, you say it?
Speaker 2: You got this, you got this?
Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, it's time for sister court. Listen, Lamar is
Speaker 1: the defense is the prosecution. And what happened is everybody
Speaker 1: emailed in their problems to Amber and Lacy Advice at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com, and we are going to read your
Speaker 1: problems and we're going to argue about that ship. But
Speaker 1: doctor John Paul Higgins is going to bring down the
Speaker 1: gavel because they are the judge.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Judge, doctor Johnson. I'm just.
Speaker 3: Judge, doctor John. Okay, that works, Judge. Where's my gavel?
Speaker 2: Where's my gvel? We'll use this bunny rabbit as my nap.
Speaker 2: There you go. Hey, Yes, I have a rainbow bunny rabbit. Okay, Lacy,
Speaker 2: do you want to read it? You want me to?
Speaker 2: I'm going to read this right now. Okay.
Speaker 3: Our first dilemma, my husband's family keeps going on trips
Speaker 3: without me. A few months ago, I found out all
Speaker 3: the women on my husband's side of the family took
Speaker 3: a girl's trip. I wouldn't have minded if it was
Speaker 3: just the immediate family, but even the in laws went.
Speaker 3: It's hard not to feel left out. Now they're planning
Speaker 3: a second trip to the same place. They did invite
Speaker 3: me this time, but since they invited me halfway through
Speaker 3: their planning, I feel like they did it begrudgingly.
Speaker 2: Am I looking too much into it? Or am I
Speaker 2: right in not wanting to go on this trip? Yeah?
Speaker 1: First of all, can I say I enjoyed this problem
Speaker 1: like the silly.
Speaker 2: I like it, and the problem is like silly up
Speaker 2: to them? It's not silly to them. We have a
Speaker 2: little bit too much money. Am I going to have
Speaker 2: fun with these people I don't like? Are fun by myself?
Speaker 2: That's your problem, right, right, So let's call it what
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 1: Having said that, this is something you should definitely do.
Speaker 1: I do think you have to go on this trip,
Speaker 1: and I never act like this, but this is the thing,
Speaker 1: right You're setting the tone for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: You're trying to get it there. Your kids will pay
Speaker 1: for it. Can you smooth out these relationships or what.
Speaker 1: And this is what I suggest. If you think that
Speaker 1: they don't really want you on this trip, then come
Speaker 1: in for a portion of it and leave. And then
Speaker 1: what you will have done is you will have raised
Speaker 1: your own stock and they'll be like, ooh, you know
Speaker 1: who was fun for the three days she was around Karen? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want more of her? Do that shit, or go
Speaker 1: and be half available. But don't flood these people with.
Speaker 2: A lot of you. That's a really smart idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, make yourself a hot commodity. Yeah, that's what I think.
Speaker 1: Lace Bare, You know I was listening to you.
Speaker 2: I ain't going. I'm not going.
Speaker 3: I'm already man, you know who is president. I'm already
Speaker 3: pissed off. You know these women don't like you. Charlotte
Speaker 3: don't like you. Charlene don't like you.
Speaker 2: They twins question, husband doesn't like Yes, you sure can.
Speaker 2: Is there a race? Is there like a race? Elements
Speaker 2: to this or possible? What? You know? What you think
Speaker 2: they are?
Speaker 3: What you think because I would have just not I
Speaker 3: wouldn't even have rolled in.
Speaker 6: Visa just a simple it's just a simple lady saying
Speaker 6: her husband's family don't really fuck with her like that,
Speaker 6: and can we cousin?
Speaker 2: Are we? Yes? We can? Okay, we can? So yeah
Speaker 2: so because I I but I was gonna say so her.
Speaker 6: So, this woman's husband's family doesn't really fuck with her,
Speaker 6: has planned things around her, and now they're now she
Speaker 6: found out that they've planned something else, and she's saying,
Speaker 6: should I even go?
Speaker 2: The question is that she even invited.
Speaker 3: So they invited her last minute? Okay, so last minute,
Speaker 3: I'm not going. I'm in fact, I'm gonna be go.
Speaker 3: Oh you know what, I already planned a girl's trip,
Speaker 3: and whether I have one or not, I'm gonna take
Speaker 3: thick ass pictures. I'm gonna be by taking a picture
Speaker 3: by a volcano, a bear, all this stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh, I have so much. So I'm gonna go with y'all.
Speaker 2: I'm good. I'm ooh shit. Saying I already planned a
Speaker 2: trip was pretty good. I already planned a trip.
Speaker 3: I wish you guys would have told me about this
Speaker 3: sooner and then maybe see how you feel later. I
Speaker 3: am petty LaBelle. I'm not going. I don't have time
Speaker 3: to sit. And if you know they don't like you,
Speaker 3: can you imagine sitting four days with some bitches that
Speaker 3: don't like you. I'm not doing that. Life is too short.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get me some pizza. Not doing it, not
Speaker 3: doing it. I would rather sit and watch Netflix, then sit,
Speaker 3: then fly, and then I gotta fly. Oh if I
Speaker 3: have to fly, I'm not going. I don't. What is
Speaker 3: that off to you?
Speaker 2: With you?
Speaker 3: I have to use my Delta skuy priority. No, thank you,
Speaker 3: not doing that. No, I'm okay, I'm gonna stay home.
Speaker 3: I agree with both of you. I think both of
Speaker 3: you have something good there. I think the idea of
Speaker 3: going and limiting yourself. But then also you're setting yourself
Speaker 3: up in that case too, because then they're gonna say, oh,
Speaker 3: she thinks she's better than us, that she can only
Speaker 3: hang out for a couple of days. And I do
Speaker 3: think I'm better than you, and I think that's often
Speaker 3: something that I wish more people said, she thinks she's
Speaker 3: better than you, probably, but I would also say I
Speaker 3: am also the girl. The younger me would have said, oh, yes,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go for a couple of days because I
Speaker 3: don't want to feel like I'm being left out. But
Speaker 3: the thirty nine year old doctor John Paul, who's done
Speaker 3: a lot of therapy right is right there with you, Lacey.
Speaker 2: Fuck y'all. I'm not going, especially if it's to you
Speaker 2: seeing that all.
Speaker 3: Fuck with you, Hi whoever, if you're listening, please send
Speaker 3: them that song and with your reply.
Speaker 2: Big shop, thank you. Can you just send them I
Speaker 2: don't fuck with you by Big Sean.
Speaker 6: Yeah today, send them a picture of Aretha Franklin, because
Speaker 6: you know Aretha didn't really fuck with what's her name,
Speaker 6: Patty LaBelle, And so you could send them that gift
Speaker 6: of Patty trying to.
Speaker 2: Give her a hug and Aretha was pushing her away.
Speaker 2: That's literally what you could do. It's really sad.
Speaker 3: I love Patty LaBelle, Yeah, Patty Yeah.
Speaker 2: Ritha didn't see it for Patty at all.
Speaker 3: Do you remember when Patty LaBelle did not sing the
Speaker 3: lyrics right to Tina Turner's song when they did the
Speaker 3: memorial to Tina Turner and Patti LaBelle messed up what
Speaker 3: she was singing and then it was like, I can't
Speaker 3: see the teller proper, sorry, Tina.
Speaker 6: Oh damn, did not see that? You also giving it's
Speaker 6: giving barefoot? Can Tessa and Martha Stewart, I don't know
Speaker 6: they have that, didn't real lady beef. I want to
Speaker 6: be rich, that rich one day. Where can she can fight?
Speaker 2: And I know she can.
Speaker 3: Just because Martha went to jail. Martha didn't going to
Speaker 3: appreciate and do no serious time. Martha didn't learn nothing there.
Speaker 3: I am not that woman can fight store bottles feet
Speaker 3: Watch this?
Speaker 2: Oh for a living? Watch this?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Oh that's deep.
Speaker 3: I'm looking this up after this podcast. I'm straight because
Speaker 3: I want to. I'm all for that lay one.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm way go ahead, sorry, go ahead. This woman
Speaker 2: don't wear shoes. She can fight. That's all I'm going
Speaker 2: to say. Never fight nobody with no shoes on. Okay?
Speaker 3: Is it weird to be nice? This is our next one?
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry? Is it weird to be nice to
Speaker 3: my Alexa? I've been using my Alexa as a timer
Speaker 3: and to answer basic questions. I usually say please and
Speaker 3: thank you. Recently, my husband caught me and said it
Speaker 3: was a bit weird because it's just the machine, saying
Speaker 3: you wouldn't what because it's.
Speaker 2: Just the machine. What do you think? Is it weird
Speaker 2: to be kind to my Alexa? I have to say that.
Speaker 1: I say please and thank you to the Alexa every
Speaker 1: time because when them motherfuckers take over the earth, I
Speaker 1: want to be favored.
Speaker 2: I don't want it to kill me. I don't want
Speaker 2: it to kill me. Amen to kill me.
Speaker 3: But but Amber and I ambered alive. Several times we
Speaker 3: have been like.
Speaker 2: Alexa, shut up. I have plussed.
Speaker 3: Alexa up and down, and then I've been like Alexa,
Speaker 3: I don't know why I did that.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: But when you are trying to find the specific Luther
Speaker 3: Vandrol song and it plays John bon Jovi for you
Speaker 3: want to fight, those are fighting words. Yeah, and you've
Speaker 3: said it twelve times and it's still playing live in
Speaker 3: on a bread. I can can't even talk if you
Speaker 3: don't play the right song.
Speaker 1: And then sometimes you'll ask her a question and she'll go,
Speaker 1: you know, I can't under The answer is eleven. Did
Speaker 1: you know that if you want to order through the
Speaker 1: Alexa app, you can do so by simply saying, Alexa,
Speaker 1: please shut up?
Speaker 3: Nobody asked you for that. Shut up, Alex, set the timer? Yeah, weather,
Speaker 3: you know, yeah, the weather is nobody.
Speaker 6: Well, the first question is why do you have an
Speaker 6: Alexa and not a Surrey? I'm an Apple song. So
Speaker 6: my first question to her, I would say I'm an again,
Speaker 6: I'm an apples knob. But no, I don't think it's me.
Speaker 6: I'm nice to mine. I'm nice to all of my
Speaker 6: things in my home.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Amber's very nice to the Ambers. I love that thing.
Speaker 2: She tells me the weather and direct can't look at
Speaker 2: it on my phone.
Speaker 3: No, right, okay, I have one more, one more. Okay,
Speaker 3: it's our turn to host the holidays. And I hate
Speaker 3: my in laws and their families. They're loud and rude.
Speaker 3: They let their kids run around and scream. Whenever it's
Speaker 3: time to clean up. They go to the living space
Speaker 3: to drink and watch TV. They never seem grateful for anything.
Speaker 3: They're just really rude people. What are your suggestions on
Speaker 3: getting through this or should we make up an excuse
Speaker 3: to disinvite them over Amber?
Speaker 1: Oh buddy, Okay, there's a couple of different routes she
Speaker 1: can go, but one is fuck them kids. Fucking fuck
Speaker 1: them kids. You ain't gonna you shouldn't be having them.
Speaker 1: We don't let you let your children run all around
Speaker 1: my house. Work so hard to get this couch. Now,
Speaker 1: your kid got us footee nikes out there? No, cannot
Speaker 1: have it.
Speaker 2: No, absolutely, not so that's one way you could do things. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Another way is maybe you can make like a chart
Speaker 1: that's like you bring this, and I'll bring this, and
Speaker 1: these are the things we need and I'll cook the turkey,
Speaker 1: and you all motherfuckers bring everything else. Then you won't
Speaker 1: feel so bad when they don't wash the dishes they
Speaker 1: brought because you throw them the fuck out.
Speaker 2: You know. That's one thought.
Speaker 1: But also Thanksgiving is for you too, So if you
Speaker 1: not having fun, what are we doing?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 6: That's why I stay home. My question would be I
Speaker 6: would ask them who they voted for, and that would
Speaker 6: be my reason for either saying yes to them coming
Speaker 6: over or no, that's right and right on, you're right on, Yeah,
Speaker 6: I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Yeah, this
Speaker 6: whole episode, we have learned that Lacey's not doing it,
Speaker 6: and that's okay.
Speaker 2: I think God damn, I think we asked. But you know,
Speaker 2: if they've been saying black people.
Speaker 6: Are reclaiming black women specifically are reclaiming their time, I agree.
Speaker 6: I think black women, all black people, specifically black trans women,
Speaker 6: but hey say it. We all need to start saying
Speaker 6: absolutely not so much more so people coming over to
Speaker 6: your house and making a mess and letting their badass
Speaker 6: children run around your home.
Speaker 3: To tell away, I'm never letting somebody's bad child run
Speaker 3: around my house.
Speaker 2: What is Amberson? No?
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I'm gonna have a little cordon off area where
Speaker 3: everybody's in time out.
Speaker 2: You and time out, and you in there with your kids,
Speaker 2: go standing there. You got to sit in the garage. No,
Speaker 2: I'm putting you in the garage. You sit there if
Speaker 2: you like in the garage. Yeah, yeah, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 6: My nephew hasn't been over my new home, and it's
Speaker 6: just because we have stairs and we have a lot
Speaker 6: of expensive stuff on the second floor. And I love
Speaker 6: my nephew, but he doesn't know how to act yet,
Speaker 6: and so maybe when he's another year, you're too older.
Speaker 2: When his you can keep these kids, he doesn't care
Speaker 2: bumping around.
Speaker 6: No, when he learns how to sit down for more
Speaker 6: than ten minutes, I will invite him and my brother over.
Speaker 6: But other than that, he's going to stay up where
Speaker 6: they live. I love him.
Speaker 2: Listeners, what did we learn today?
Speaker 1: We learned that you don't have to do anything you
Speaker 1: don't want to do, especially in the year twenty twenty
Speaker 1: five in the year twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: We're protecting our piece.
Speaker 1: We're saying no, and we're eating pizza, okay, saying no no.
Speaker 2: We're saying no to Carnival.
Speaker 3: Sorry, Carnival Cruise, say annoying relatives, and we say on
Speaker 3: badass kids. Amy one of the three call me a
Speaker 3: manga Carnival bok wait, wait on the phone. Hang up,
Speaker 3: No weird answer and I'm not answering.
Speaker 1: This has been the Amber and Lacy Lacy and Amber show.
Speaker 1: I'm Amber Ruff and you can find me at Amber
Speaker 1: Ruffin across all socials. Lacey, what's your handle, I'm.
Speaker 3: Lacey Lamar and it's Lacy Lamar. One shut up Amber,
Speaker 3: Okay there Sean Paul. How do we find you?
Speaker 2: Doc Well?
Speaker 6: When I am not moving about Gotham City, I call
Speaker 6: you downtown Los Angeles, Gockham City. When I'm not moving
Speaker 6: about Gotthham City, you can find me on.
Speaker 2: You know what.
Speaker 6: So I also I just deactivated my Twitter. Oh I'm
Speaker 6: no longer on Twitter, so you can find me at
Speaker 6: Blue Sky Just search at doctor John Paul. You can
Speaker 6: find me on Instagram blue Sky well threads. Yeah, you
Speaker 6: can find me down at the local Pancake House and
Speaker 6: Chrispy Green.
Speaker 2: I love donuts.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but you won't find me on the carnival boat
Speaker 6: anytime soon. So yeah, yep, yep. At Doctor John Paul Well, this.
Speaker 1: Has been the Amber and Lacey, Lacy and Amber Show.
Speaker 1: The three of us would like to wish you Merry Christmas.
Speaker 2: We'll be doing this for two months. Woman.
Speaker 3: The Amber and Lacy, Lacy and Amber Show is a
Speaker 3: production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 1: It's created and hosted by Amber Ruffin and Lacy Lamar.
Speaker 1: Executive produced by Noah Avoar and Hans Sonni super produced
Speaker 1: by Becca Ramos.
Speaker 2: Because She's a Superhero.
Speaker 1: Co produced by Victor Wright, Edited and mixed by Ty Herd.
Speaker 1: Music by David schmol