Speaker 1: Hello, good morning. I don't know why I say that.
Speaker 2: Any time, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: I had.
Speaker 3: I got an epidural last night, last night, last afternoon.
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, what for my neck?
Speaker 3: I have a dislocated uh or an impingement on my
Speaker 3: spinal cord from an.
Speaker 1: Cheap discs in my neck.
Speaker 3: Possibly I had did a big, pretty big face plant
Speaker 3: this winter, so that could have definitely been it. But anyway,
Speaker 3: I was how experiencing shoulder pain and then I did
Speaker 3: one of those body MRIs and then that told us
Speaker 3: that I had to do a spinal leminari and then
Speaker 3: we found it and then I was like, oh, now.
Speaker 1: I'm really in pain and gosh. So then I got
Speaker 1: my epidural.
Speaker 3: And I was really excited about my epidural because I've
Speaker 3: spoken about this ad nauseum about how much I enjoy
Speaker 3: being put under, and my assistant had emailed me yesterday
Speaker 3: the day before telling me that I couldn't eat all day,
Speaker 3: which it was at like three p thirty. So I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, that's hard, but of course doable. And
Speaker 3: then I was excited about being put under, you know,
Speaker 3: properly put Yeah, but it was just a twilight and
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 2: So you didn't get that like real good.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: I felt them poke it in my neck.
Speaker 3: I felt two injections, Like it wasn't the magic carpet, right,
Speaker 3: I was excited about all day.
Speaker 1: That got me through the day. I was excited about.
Speaker 1: You know, I love a just like.
Speaker 2: A body buzz.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And when they cut me on the table was funny
Speaker 3: because they had to put me down face down, which
Speaker 3: is really where I belong, but because they had to
Speaker 3: have my neck exposed for the injection.
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking like this is this is going to.
Speaker 3: Be funny when I like I'm out of it, No,
Speaker 3: when I like go under, because I'm going to be
Speaker 3: doing a face plant anyway. So I got home at
Speaker 3: like four point thirty and they'd given me some adavan,
Speaker 3: So I took that the night away and had a
Speaker 3: nice little good night party.
Speaker 1: Well, Gop thought it was the morning.
Speaker 3: And it was eleven pm. I got my hyperbaric chamber.
Speaker 3: I slept in there for three.
Speaker 2: Hours after eleven pm.
Speaker 3: After eleven pm you're supposed to do two and a
Speaker 3: half hours. So I don't know, I'll probably have to
Speaker 3: drink some extra water this morning or something.
Speaker 1: My girlfriend the other night was so funny. We were
Speaker 1: at my friend's house. Somebody was like, you have to.
Speaker 3: Drink water, drink more water, And my friend Wendy was like,
Speaker 3: so sick of every She goes, Why is water so trendy?
Speaker 3: She goes, When I grow up, nobody offered me water,
Speaker 3: She goes, I would play all day at school and
Speaker 3: I would come in and have a juice box.
Speaker 1: No one said anything about water. And now everywhere you
Speaker 1: go it's like they're fucking shoving it down your throat.
Speaker 5: I mean, we are made what ninety seven percent of water,
Speaker 5: so why do we need so much more of it?
Speaker 1: Because it's there, like it's not going anywhere.
Speaker 3: And I'm always I get an iv every week because
Speaker 3: I'm always dehydrated. I never drink enough water, but I like,
Speaker 3: in the last year two years, I've drank much more
Speaker 3: than I used to.
Speaker 1: But water is in everything else you're drinking too.
Speaker 3: And then when they tell you that you're so dehydrated
Speaker 3: that not even water will help.
Speaker 1: You, I'm like, well then what will?
Speaker 3: And they're like, oh, you need an IVY or you
Speaker 3: need electrolytes, and I'm like, all I do is put
Speaker 3: electrolytes in my doctor, doctor.
Speaker 1: Doctors are telling me.
Speaker 3: Every doctor is like, the reason you have this issue
Speaker 3: with your neck is because you're too dehydrated.
Speaker 5: But I do see that drinking water, I have a flavor,
Speaker 5: but sure it's still water.
Speaker 2: After that.
Speaker 3: Enough, I mean, it's never enough, and it's like it
Speaker 3: is being forced down our throats in a way that
Speaker 3: it wasn't that would offer me water. The reason I
Speaker 3: don't drink waters because no one gave me any when
Speaker 3: I was growing up, either someone's mother gave us the water.
Speaker 1: I was like, don't go back to that house, like,
Speaker 1: where's my glass of milk?
Speaker 5: When I was in high school, I started getting chronic
Speaker 5: headaches and my mom was like, well, how how long
Speaker 5: have you had these? I was like months, like every
Speaker 5: single day a headache.
Speaker 6: Me.
Speaker 1: Guess they told you to drink water.
Speaker 5: She shir did, And I had a little picture that
Speaker 5: had on the counter every day and I would drink
Speaker 5: the whole thing and then my headaches mysteriously disappear.
Speaker 1: Oh well, then there you go. Water's great for you. Everybody,
Speaker 1: we're back on track.
Speaker 2: Drink more water.
Speaker 5: Chelsea, do you have any sort of skills or talents
Speaker 5: in your life that you have chosen not to pursue
Speaker 5: since you had sort of other big talents.
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess acting I never really seriously pursued
Speaker 3: because I don't think I can pretend to be someone
Speaker 3: completely different. Sure I don't have that skill, but like
Speaker 3: I've been in movies, I'm doing a movie. Actually I'm
Speaker 3: doing a cute little role in this movie in a
Speaker 3: couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: I'm filming that in Syracuse, New York.
Speaker 3: And that worked out perfectly because when I'm on tour,
Speaker 3: I can never do anything but right. And they were like, oh,
Speaker 3: and it's right, I have a date in New York
Speaker 3: and so I was like, yes, perfect, Like I would
Speaker 3: love to, but you know, people don't think of me
Speaker 3: as anything other than like a funny character or like,
Speaker 3: you know, a big sister best friend type like that.
Speaker 3: So I don't want to play that, you know, I
Speaker 3: don't play j Lo's like sidekick or something.
Speaker 1: But I like to change it up. But I'm not.
Speaker 1: I don't love being in a trailer.
Speaker 3: All day waiting, you know, it's a long process. I
Speaker 3: like to use my own language, and so I like
Speaker 3: to improvise on set too. So it's got to be
Speaker 3: a place where I can have fun. Like this movie
Speaker 3: I'm doing, They're like, we want you to come and
Speaker 3: have fun, do your thing. This is the role, but
Speaker 3: like do whatever you want with it.
Speaker 1: So that's fun. So I'll do that.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I've never really pursued acting, just because I
Speaker 3: never was really an actress.
Speaker 5: Yeah, or is it something you're passionate about or like
Speaker 5: not really, it was just a means to an end.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I feel like being a comedian and like kind of
Speaker 3: creating my own Mariner is what I've done, you know,
Speaker 3: with all my books and my stand up and my
Speaker 3: talk shows and the podcast. Like I get to do
Speaker 3: what I'm doing rather than having being placed in someone
Speaker 3: else's project. I feel like I'm very autonomous that way,
Speaker 3: and I don't particularly not that I don't play well
Speaker 3: with others, but I like to be in charge of
Speaker 3: my own stuff.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And there is something really wonderful that you get
Speaker 5: to make these sort of creative decisions. You get to
Speaker 5: be in a position of power rather than just sort
Speaker 5: of going out and having to read the lines that
Speaker 5: somebody else has written for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I can't sing or dance, so like
Speaker 3: those are not options for me.
Speaker 1: I can't really play a musical instrument. I don't have.
Speaker 1: I mean, anything that I'm interested in.
Speaker 3: Is athletic, Like, yeah, I love to ski, so that
Speaker 3: I made sure. I said to myself when I was
Speaker 3: like twenty five years old, when I rediscovered skiing, I
Speaker 3: was like, I want to be successful.
Speaker 1: Enough to pay someone to make me a great skier. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I did do that.
Speaker 5: Are you someone when you're learning a new talent that
Speaker 5: you are like, okay, being bad at it for a while,
Speaker 5: or do you want to be great right away?
Speaker 3: I want to be a good student, so I want
Speaker 3: to I don't want you to have to tell me twice.
Speaker 3: I like very specific instruction, like Spanish. I'm very passionate
Speaker 3: about learning Spanish, but I'm not as diligent as one
Speaker 3: would be if they really wanted to be able to
Speaker 3: converse in the language. Like I'm always trying my Belle
Speaker 3: and I are always working on my Spanish.
Speaker 1: I'm on Lingo, dear.
Speaker 3: I have my classes I take each day, I have
Speaker 3: a tutor, but I'm still not fluent. So clearly something's amiss,
Speaker 3: which it's practice. Yeah, but I've also learned when you're
Speaker 3: learning new things as I've gotten older, stop being so
Speaker 3: anal retentive about getting it right, like it absorbs, learning absorbs.
Speaker 3: It doesn't always hit you in the moment, but once
Speaker 3: you build a strong enough foundation, ye can stuff starts
Speaker 3: to sink in without trying so hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I'm someone who's very I'm very fine with being bad
Speaker 5: at something until i'm good at it and like sticking
Speaker 5: with something. You know, one of my nieces she gets
Speaker 5: so frustrated and angry when she's not like, just perfect
Speaker 5: at it the first try.
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, it's okay.
Speaker 5: You build skills, you build muscle memory, and then if
Speaker 5: you keep doing it consistently, you'll be great eventually.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's consistency and not flogging yourself or not getting
Speaker 3: it exactly right.
Speaker 1: That's a young thing. Uh uh, that's you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So our next guest is a good friend of mine.
Speaker 3: I love her so much. She is a ray of sunshine.
Speaker 3: She has a lot of stuff going on, so let
Speaker 3: me inform you and all of her stuff and products
Speaker 3: that she is involved in I have tried because she
Speaker 3: is a friend. She is the founder of in Bloom,
Speaker 3: which is a supplement powder, and she has a vodka
Speaker 3: brand called.
Speaker 1: King Street vodka.
Speaker 3: She's the cohos of the Sibling Revelry podcast with another
Speaker 3: one of our favorite guests, Oliver Hudson. So please welcome
Speaker 3: actress and entrepreneur Kate Hudson. Yay, Kate, Look who's here,
Speaker 3: My buddy, my sister. Do you know that I grew
Speaker 3: up pretending I in third grade, I lied to all
Speaker 3: my schoolmates so that they would respect me more and
Speaker 3: said that I was going to be in a reboot
Speaker 3: of Private Benjamin and playing Goldie Home's daughter. I just
Speaker 3: lied to the whole school and everyone believed me. So
Speaker 3: when I grew up and I became friends and I
Speaker 3: met Goldie and Kate for the first time, I was like, you, guys,
Speaker 3: I'm part of this family, whether like you accept me
Speaker 3: or not.
Speaker 4: But it was really a fast acceptance.
Speaker 2: Entry perfect.
Speaker 4: It just felt right. It just felt right.
Speaker 3: Speaking of fast entries, I just saw Kate last night. Actually,
Speaker 3: we were celebrating one of her magazine launches.
Speaker 4: We did.
Speaker 3: She's on the cover of Want magazine and so she
Speaker 3: had a party for that because it's her first magazine
Speaker 3: cover ever, and so that's exciting.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was yeah, number one, number one, although it
Speaker 4: was a king Street Vodka party too, so we did
Speaker 4: celebrate with my vodka.
Speaker 3: And I am a big ardent supporter of King Street
Speaker 3: Vodka because of Kate's relationship with them. She introduced me
Speaker 3: to King Street Vodka. And you know that I'm very
Speaker 3: particular about my vodkas. It's either Belvidere or King Street
Speaker 3: for me.
Speaker 4: So yeah, exactly, I do get a little jealous when
Speaker 4: I see Belvidere. I'm not gonna mine.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 3: Well, that's because I don't have any King Street left
Speaker 3: because I drank it all because it's so delicious, So
Speaker 3: you have to send me another case.
Speaker 1: I suppose I could order one myself.
Speaker 5: What it is also like very beautiful, like the battle's gorgeous.
Speaker 5: It's perfect for a gift.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, yeah, you're such a You're such an entrepreneur, Kate.
Speaker 3: I mean, look at you blossoming into womanhood.
Speaker 1: You know what.
Speaker 4: I just have so many things I want to do.
Speaker 4: There's this there's this really funny post online where this
Speaker 4: girl's like fully ADHD, like my ADHD self, and.
Speaker 7: She's like I want to do everything, Like I'm going
Speaker 7: to do this and I'm going to like make wooden
Speaker 7: spoons and then basically, it's like, I think that's who
Speaker 7: I am. I think I'm just massively adhd have to
Speaker 7: do a million different things and somehow I'm able to
Speaker 7: like figure it out do it all.
Speaker 1: Are we allowed to talk about what you and I
Speaker 1: were talking about last night? Music?
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's talk about that, because I think that's speaking
Speaker 3: of doing a bunch of different things. So Kate is
Speaker 3: musically gifted, and if you didn't know that, she has
Speaker 3: a banging voice on her and she loves to fucking sing.
Speaker 1: I love loves to do everything.
Speaker 3: She loves to dance, she loves to sing, she loves
Speaker 3: to meditate, she likes to have children.
Speaker 4: With multiple men. I love to sing. I mean honestly,
Speaker 4: when I was younger, I thought that's what I was
Speaker 4: going to do, you know, I thought I was gonna
Speaker 4: sing and dance and music theater was always my favorite
Speaker 4: type of acting other than like improv. But really I
Speaker 4: thought I was going to sing. And I never thought like, oh,
Speaker 4: I can't do all of it until I started auditioningly
Speaker 4: really young, got very famous, very fast, and then it
Speaker 4: was like, you don't break what's not broken. You don't
Speaker 4: go from being an actor to like now, I'm, you know,
Speaker 4: a musician, so I just kind of kept it to
Speaker 4: myself forever. I just I just wrote music my whole
Speaker 4: life and I have never shared it. And then in
Speaker 4: the lockdown, I was really writing music and then I
Speaker 4: was like, what's I can't keep going and not put
Speaker 4: this out there, I'd really regret it. So I started
Speaker 4: writing and then started writing with Linda Perry. It was
Speaker 4: amazing and we really hit it off, and then it's
Speaker 4: just sort of unfolded from there with no expectation. It
Speaker 4: just sort of was like, I'm just going to make
Speaker 4: a record. I'm going to make a record, and here
Speaker 4: I am, like two years later. It's been a great,
Speaker 4: really great, massive creative experience for me. And I can't
Speaker 4: wait for it to come out.
Speaker 1: And when does it come out?
Speaker 4: I can't say that, yeah, not yet, but it's coming,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 1: And did see it influenced this at all?
Speaker 3: This decision because when you guys work together on your
Speaker 3: project you did with her.
Speaker 1: I felt like she had an impact on you musically.
Speaker 1: Do you is that accurate?
Speaker 4: You? Like? Sea gave me this like this huge like
Speaker 4: hug of confidence. You know, she really was like, you're
Speaker 4: a singer that's what you really are, and kind of
Speaker 4: gave me these incredible songs to sing that were really
Speaker 4: powerful and where my voice likes to sit, you know,
Speaker 4: I like powerful songs, and and yeah, she really gave
Speaker 4: me that like kiss of confidence. I had a hard
Speaker 4: time really believing in myself as a singer for a
Speaker 4: number of different reasons. But over the years, as I
Speaker 4: got older, I got more and more kind of closed
Speaker 4: off with my singing, and then Sea really opened it
Speaker 4: back up for me for sure.
Speaker 8: Wow, like feeling.
Speaker 4: Confident actually just being able to share it.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're going to go on tour when your
Speaker 3: album comes out, which is something we were talking about
Speaker 3: last we Well, she has experience being on tour because
Speaker 3: she's been married or dated men that have toured the
Speaker 3: whole life, so she knows what that's about.
Speaker 1: Right at the.
Speaker 4: Only way I'm going to get back on tours if
Speaker 4: I do it myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hear the hell her.
Speaker 3: But another thing that I love about Kate, which I
Speaker 3: want to talk to you about, Kate, is that you
Speaker 3: do have three different children from three different men. And
Speaker 3: I we were talking about that last night because you
Speaker 3: said it's you, Oh, who else? Has that, Kate Winslet
Speaker 3: has that. And then there was another third person who.
Speaker 4: Was the third person Melanie Griffin.
Speaker 8: Yeah, there's a couple of people.
Speaker 3: Were you saying that you thought you'd take a lot
Speaker 3: of shit for that, because I was saying, I don't
Speaker 3: think you take any heat.
Speaker 1: For that, not that you should in any way, I don't.
Speaker 4: Take any kind of I would say respectable heat.
Speaker 3: Right, it's probably the same heat I get for not
Speaker 3: having children.
Speaker 1: It's the kind of heat you're talking about.
Speaker 4: That's right, that's right. But I do get like, I
Speaker 4: do get a lot of you know, the little peanut
Speaker 4: galleries out in the world that like to kind of
Speaker 4: on certain days like Mother's Day. You know, you'll see
Speaker 4: it in the comments, like you must be so proud
Speaker 4: to have three kids with three dads, you know, little
Speaker 4: little things like that, And I'm like, well, yeah, actually
Speaker 4: I am, because it's it's great. But yeah, I don't
Speaker 4: I don't catch like any big people don't shame me.
Speaker 4: I don't feel like I get shamed very often about it.
Speaker 3: Every once in a while, Yeah, well, talk to me
Speaker 3: about a little bit what it's like having these kids
Speaker 3: at such different stages in your life. Because last night
Speaker 3: you were saying that Rider's going to be thirty two
Speaker 3: years old when Ronnie gets her driver's license.
Speaker 4: Right, that's right. I mean, well, honestly, it's like for
Speaker 4: me having Rider. I was so young, but.
Speaker 3: I remember, oh my god, I remember that pregnancy. I
Speaker 3: didn't know you that, but I remember your pregnancy. I
Speaker 3: was you, she's like a monster truck.
Speaker 4: I was like, I pregnant, and I was like, I am.
Speaker 4: All I wanted was was burgers, fried food, fried chicken,
Speaker 4: and ice cream. And I would eat a pint of
Speaker 4: ice cream my mom. I'd like sit at home, like eating,
Speaker 4: and my mom would like come and I'd see her
Speaker 4: hand just like the ice cream, and I kind of
Speaker 4: pull it away. I gained almost eighty pounds. I was
Speaker 4: so happy. I was just big and happy and and
Speaker 4: I thought I knew what I was doing. You know,
Speaker 4: I really wanted to have a baby. He's really a
Speaker 4: nine to eleven baby, you know, nine to eleven happened.
Speaker 4: I was married to Chris. We were so happy, and
Speaker 4: I just wanted a family and I was ready. And
Speaker 4: then and then you know, six years later, getting divorced,
Speaker 4: going like wow, I'm a mom of a toddler. My
Speaker 4: friends are still just like out and about and single,
Speaker 4: and so I had to figure out how to manage
Speaker 4: being a mom and actually enjoying being young and out
Speaker 4: and single and having a good time. And so I
Speaker 4: never knew what life was without having that voice in
Speaker 4: the back of my head going like you need to
Speaker 4: go home and wake up at six in the morning
Speaker 4: and make pancakes. Like you should go home now, you know.
Speaker 4: So my first rider was like all trial and error.
Speaker 4: I wrote a song about it on my album. He
Speaker 4: was like my witness, you know, he was there my
Speaker 4: whole adult life. And then that relationship didn't work out.
Speaker 4: I'm single and then I met a new guy.
Speaker 1: Was that a difficult separation or divorce for you? I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously they're.
Speaker 3: All difficult, but oh yeah, oh yeah, on a scale
Speaker 3: of one to ten.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's really It was really interest when when you're
Speaker 4: going through relationships, especially when you're young in the public eye.
Speaker 4: I don't really get into all that stuff, but that
Speaker 4: was hard for me. Like, I really really really loved Chris.
Speaker 4: We had a great relationship, and the things that got
Speaker 4: in the way for me of sort of growing together.
Speaker 4: I knew we could never grow together for the rest
Speaker 4: of our lives. Like he just fundamentally we saw our
Speaker 4: values were different in certain places that I would never
Speaker 4: have been able to stay on that train with him.
Speaker 4: And he is exactly where he's supposed to be with
Speaker 4: a beautiful wife, and I'm where I'm supposed to be.
Speaker 4: But you know, even now when I look at Chris,
Speaker 4: I have so much deep love for him, Like he
Speaker 4: taught me everything about love. He loved me unconditionally, you know,
Speaker 4: and I think deep down still maybe does you know,
Speaker 4: but he really he taught me so much. But it
Speaker 4: just wasn't meant to be. We weren't meant to be together, right,
Speaker 4: I was through Type A for him.
Speaker 1: I get it. And then you had Bang.
Speaker 4: Then I had Bang.
Speaker 1: So how old were you when you had.
Speaker 4: Rider twenty three, twenty four With Rider.
Speaker 1: I'm just so young, oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then I was thirty one thirty with Bing, he
Speaker 4: was a happy oops. He was my little, my little
Speaker 4: like whoop, pregnant and he's just my little cuddly incredible. Oh,
Speaker 4: he's the best. Being is just I'm so proud of being.
Speaker 4: He's so funny and so smart. He's like the kid
Speaker 4: that I had that I don't recognize, meaning like he's
Speaker 4: good at school, everything he does, he's he can sit
Speaker 4: and read for hours. He's almost twelve years old. No
Speaker 4: learning disability. Everybody in my family is learning disability. Being
Speaker 4: just came out.
Speaker 3: Well, but those are from Oliver, So I mean, that's
Speaker 3: not anyone's fault about all these Really, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't know. It could be a Hudson hank real
Speaker 4: lineage thing. But you know, Ryder got all that I got,
Speaker 4: all that being being just came out like he is
Speaker 4: just a rocket ship. He can do everything. And so
Speaker 4: I watch him and I see him he's all he
Speaker 4: already judges me. He already looks like she's really like
Speaker 4: underdeveloped mother. And then Ronnie, her little golden female that
Speaker 4: just balanced everything out in the house.
Speaker 3: And she's which I said to Kate last night, I'm like,
Speaker 3: what does it feel like to have a daughter that
Speaker 3: looks nothing like you?
Speaker 6: My?
Speaker 4: And she just honestly like her. I stare at her
Speaker 4: sometimes and she's talking to me, and I'm just lost
Speaker 4: in her, you know, mom, Mommy, And yes, I'm like
Speaker 4: looking at her just everything her and her nature is
Speaker 4: so different than mine, you know, it's like I was like,
Speaker 4: so tough, she's very everything's about beauty, that she's all
Speaker 4: in the air. I mean sometimes she's so in this
Speaker 4: like beautiful world that she lives in that she runs.
Speaker 4: She literally runs right into things, you know, And I'm
Speaker 4: like the person that like sees everything I could run
Speaker 4: into first, you know, is just all you know, soaks
Speaker 4: everything in all about beauty. She even wakes up in
Speaker 4: the morning. I mean, for when she was like could
Speaker 4: start talking, she'd wake up and like she'd look at
Speaker 4: the sunset and go mine, so the sunset beautiful. I'd
Speaker 4: be like, yes, I have to slow everything down.
Speaker 8: Run.
Speaker 1: Oh that's so sweet.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's so fascinating to think about
Speaker 3: all of the changes that you've gone through as a parent,
Speaker 3: right learning how to parent, and how your parenting has changed,
Speaker 3: probably over all these years and the three children.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's weird because sometimes I when I'm really
Speaker 4: trying to be a witness, like I'm trying to figure
Speaker 4: out what I've done right, what I maybe could do better.
Speaker 4: I'm a much better parent now, like I have it down,
Speaker 4: but I'm also a much more Sometimes I have these
Speaker 4: anxieties that I didn't have when I was parenting writer.
Speaker 4: You know, I had this full, big, happy family, and
Speaker 4: you're like, I just don't want anything to interrupt how
Speaker 4: good it is right now. So then you get all
Speaker 4: the anxiety. You get all the anxiety, whereas before I
Speaker 4: never had those things. I just sort of was way
Speaker 4: more spontaneous. So as I've gotten to become a better parent,
Speaker 4: I've also kind of have different attachments that I'm also
Speaker 4: now trying to like, you know, as I get older,
Speaker 4: I want to, like, I kind of want to remember
Speaker 4: what it's like to have more freedom and more spontaneity,
Speaker 4: to let things be a little messy. It is interesting
Speaker 4: how it changes, you know, and it does ebb and flow,
Speaker 4: and like, some things are better. And then as you
Speaker 4: get older, I think you also can certain things become
Speaker 4: a little too tight as a parent, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the more aware we could become, it's
Speaker 3: like you get smarter and better at your job. But
Speaker 3: then you also are you have are wise enough and
Speaker 3: experienced enough to know that anything can change in a second,
Speaker 3: so you want to protect what you have, Whereas I
Speaker 3: think when we're younger, we're not as conscious about what
Speaker 3: we have in the first place, we kind of take
Speaker 3: things for granted more, right, especially with your mom too,
Speaker 3: because obviously you guys have a very tight knit family,
Speaker 3: and your relationship with her must have changed so much
Speaker 3: when you had children.
Speaker 4: I think so, I don't know, I mean, sometimes my mom,
Speaker 4: I'm like, I think you become more apologetic of your
Speaker 4: own behaviors when you become a when you become a mother,
Speaker 4: to your parents, you're like, wow, like they didn't know
Speaker 4: what they were doing either, you know, and I you
Speaker 4: know must have been there have been times where I
Speaker 4: must have just drove them insane, especially all of her.
Speaker 4: I mean I was actually good, you know, I wanted
Speaker 4: them to be proud. All of her just wanted to
Speaker 4: hide everything that he was up to. But now, yeah,
Speaker 4: I mean I think I think the relationship where it
Speaker 4: changes is that as you get older, you kind of
Speaker 4: emulate the things that you really love about how you
Speaker 4: grew up, and then you really want to walk away
Speaker 4: from the things that you didn't. I think every parent
Speaker 4: has that moment when they're reflecting on there how they
Speaker 4: were raised, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think whether you're a parent or not,
Speaker 3: as you get older, you start to understand how you're
Speaker 3: mimicking the very things that you couldn't stand growing up,
Speaker 3: whether it's your mother's or father's behavior, because the mindset,
Speaker 3: well this is a separate thought, but the mindset when
Speaker 3: you're growing up is my parents are in charge, They're
Speaker 3: in control, they know what's best, even though I disagree
Speaker 3: with them most of the time in my case anyway.
Speaker 3: But then as you get older, and now that i'm
Speaker 3: my age, you know, older than my parents were when
Speaker 3: they had me, I'm like, they didn't know what the
Speaker 3: fuck they were doing either, just like I barely knew
Speaker 3: what I was doing. You know, you don't know what
Speaker 3: you're doing until you're in your forties or fifties.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I'm just not sure we really ever know what
Speaker 4: we're doing, to be honest, because like the other day too,
Speaker 4: it's like, now I'm in this place where I'm like,
Speaker 4: you know what, I've got it figured out. And Writer,
Speaker 4: now that writer is turning it as an adult. I mean,
Speaker 4: he looks at me the way I looked at my parents, like,
Speaker 4: you know what, this is my mom's issues. I'm not
Speaker 4: going to feed into the Now I'm watching Writer do
Speaker 4: that with me, and I'm like, whoa aren't I doing good?
Speaker 4: How about it? He's like, Mom, this is I don't
Speaker 4: think there's any parent in the world that's going to
Speaker 4: get through raising their kids being anything but having that
Speaker 4: thing where their kids goes. I don't want to be
Speaker 4: anything like my parent. There's this, but I don't want
Speaker 4: any of that to be a part of what I'm
Speaker 4: going to, like end up becoming as a parent. I
Speaker 4: can see it and writer already He's like, yeah, I
Speaker 4: don't like that part of my mom, you know. And
Speaker 4: You're like, oh god, I thought I was going to
Speaker 4: like win this one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that is true, right, just when you think
Speaker 3: you have things sorted out. Even in relationships, you know,
Speaker 3: you're in a great relationship with your partner Danny for
Speaker 3: and have been for many years now, and you were
Speaker 3: also saying last night, you know how great this relationship
Speaker 3: is for you, how you have space and he respects you,
Speaker 3: and you guys have a great time together, and also
Speaker 3: a healthy relationship when you're apart, and those things when
Speaker 3: they happen in our lives, there's just so much gratitude.
Speaker 3: I feel like when I have somebody in my life
Speaker 3: that I can be completely.
Speaker 1: Myself with, I'm like, oh, this is such a nice gift.
Speaker 4: It's the best. It's all about safety, isn't it. I mean,
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, like if you feel
Speaker 4: that real, like yummy sense of safety, you feel so
Speaker 4: much more freedom. Danny's the first relationship I've had where
Speaker 4: I really feel free. Even though we're in a monogamous
Speaker 4: intimate relationship, I don't feel any part of me that
Speaker 4: feels like I need to break out or feel like,
Speaker 4: you know, he gives me so much freedom and my
Speaker 4: life and in the kind of world that we travel in,
Speaker 4: and we travel all over the world and we're meeting
Speaker 4: incredibly interesting people and beautiful people. When you have someone
Speaker 4: who has such a deep trust in you and gives
Speaker 4: you so much freedom, it's just like it feels so nice.
Speaker 4: It's like you never want to do anything to hurt it.
Speaker 4: You know. He really is the first time I felt
Speaker 4: that kind of safety. And I also think with Danny,
Speaker 4: and I don't know if you felt this before in
Speaker 4: any kind of relationship, but Danny has no interest in
Speaker 4: being the center of attention of anything, Like he never
Speaker 4: wanted to be you know, a rock star or a
Speaker 4: famous painter or a famous writer or you know, an
Speaker 4: actor like he never wanted to be in that spotlight.
Speaker 4: So when we're doing things together, like I could be
Speaker 4: on a red carpet and I've never felt that thing
Speaker 4: where I never had to worry about someone else or
Speaker 4: feel like I was making sure that we were doing
Speaker 4: something together, or that that it wasn't going to cause
Speaker 4: any kind of friction or insecurity, Like I'll look around
Speaker 4: for Danny, and Danny would be like talking to anybody,
Speaker 4: and he's so happy, and I just there's something so
Speaker 4: lovely about not having to be with anyone who feels
Speaker 4: a sense of insecurity when you're the center. Even though
Speaker 4: it's all bells and whistles and doesn't mean anything anyway,
Speaker 4: it still can create I think a lot of insecurity
Speaker 4: and men sometimes or women.
Speaker 3: Well, especially in this industry, because you're coming up against
Speaker 3: the same thing. You know, if people are involved in
Speaker 3: the same business, it's like, obviously there's going to be
Speaker 3: a little bit of conflict.
Speaker 1: No matter how evolved you are. You can pretend, but
Speaker 1: it comes up.
Speaker 3: I mean I've had to come up other you know,
Speaker 3: all of my friends who have been dating other celebrities.
Speaker 3: It comes up all the time. Whether you think you're
Speaker 3: above it or beneath it or whatever.
Speaker 4: There are moments where it's like, when is it my
Speaker 4: turn to be at the center of what's happening for
Speaker 4: my partner right now? You can't Sometimes you just can't
Speaker 4: help but feel like, wow, it's happening to them, like
Speaker 4: how do I always just it becomes a sensitive insecurity,
Speaker 4: It becomes a conversation piece. It becomes like I'm trying
Speaker 4: so hard to make this happen, and it can just
Speaker 4: like eat away at any relationship where you're in the
Speaker 4: same field. I think it can be challenging.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, on that note, we're gonna take a couple
Speaker 3: of calls. Okay, we're gonna give people advice. That's what
Speaker 3: we do on this podcast. So put your therapy hat on.
Speaker 1: I know you have it. We're gonna take a quick break.
Speaker 1: I will be right back, and we're back.
Speaker 5: We are well. Our first email comes from Betts. She writes,
Speaker 5: Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty two year old woman with
Speaker 5: a thirteen year old daughter who's in the seventh grade.
Speaker 5: I've always given my daughter a ton of credit because
Speaker 5: I was, in fact a teen mom and I never
Speaker 5: really had my shit together up until the past handful
Speaker 5: of years. Recently, we've started a new school at a
Speaker 5: new district while making a move to live back with
Speaker 5: my parents, and my job requires so much of my
Speaker 5: time that my parents do all the running for my kids,
Speaker 5: thus making this most logical decision for my family.
Speaker 2: Since moving, my daughter has basically spiraled.
Speaker 5: I allowed her to get Snapchat after waiting for so long,
Speaker 5: and she ruined it within a week as I caught
Speaker 5: her having sexually charged conversations with strangers. This past weekend,
Speaker 5: she had a school dance, and after doing some very
Speaker 5: light monitoring, I noticed she had been having a conversation
Speaker 5: with a classmate about weed. I decided to drug test her,
Speaker 5: and sure enough, she was positive for THHC. And although
Speaker 5: I'm not anti marijuana, I feel like she's way too young.
Speaker 5: Sometimes when I find myself up in her business, I
Speaker 5: hear your voice, Chelsea in the back of my head,
Speaker 5: reminding me I don't own her and that she's her
Speaker 5: own individual self. But I still feel like she's too young.
Speaker 5: My biggest fear is that she'll get caught up with
Speaker 5: the wrong crowd. And eventually moved to taking pills. Hell
Speaker 5: I didn't wind up pregnant in high school because I
Speaker 5: was a good kid. But the amount of fentanel related
Speaker 5: deaths in our stupid ass midwestern city is astronomical. What
Speaker 5: are your thoughts on keeping herself aware and safe while
Speaker 5: becoming her individual self? Side note she started therapy literally
Speaker 5: two days before the discovery of this newest incident.
Speaker 1: Bets Kate, I'm gonna let you take this as a parent.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm just really impressed that she's she hears you.
Speaker 4: When it comes to her parents, I'm no shit. WHOA Okay, Well,
Speaker 4: there's a lot to say. One, I didn't hear anything
Speaker 4: about dad, so I'm.
Speaker 2: Not exactly sure what the deal is with dad.
Speaker 5: She says that they split when her daughter was one,
Speaker 5: but they get along great. I'm just not sure if
Speaker 5: he lives nearby or any of that stuff.
Speaker 4: Okay, So I think I can really relate to this
Speaker 4: because that's a really really challenging thing when you are
Speaker 4: going through when you start to go through puberty as
Speaker 4: a girl. Who who It doesn't even it doesn't even
Speaker 4: matter if you have a stepfather, because I had a
Speaker 4: great stepdad. Kurt's the best. When you have dealt with
Speaker 4: that kind of abandonment and what really feels like a rejection.
Speaker 4: The individuation from mom becomes pretty intense during puberty. Well said,
Speaker 4: and so I I think she's going through probably massive
Speaker 4: hormonal time, you know, And I'm glad she's going to therapy.
Speaker 4: Number one, I would be like, there has to be
Speaker 4: open conversations about dad, and she needs to start feeling
Speaker 4: like she is worthy of being a great, healthy, beautiful
Speaker 4: young girl who doesn't need to appease boys or party
Speaker 4: to like seeing cool or any of those things. And
Speaker 4: then she just needs the information, you know. I think
Speaker 4: like kids in weed is not great, Like you got
Speaker 4: to grow your brain. There's so much research on this,
Speaker 4: Like you start smoking weed too young, too much, it's
Speaker 4: gonna fuck your brain up and it just ages your brain,
Speaker 4: doesn't allow it to develop properly if you're too young
Speaker 4: and you don't give it the right development time, especially
Speaker 4: during puberty. And then there's the other thing, which is
Speaker 4: to say to mom, like we all were there. So
Speaker 4: we were all at that time. I'm in middle school
Speaker 4: where people were experimenting and looking at you know. Now
Speaker 4: we have the snapchat and we have the thing, like
Speaker 4: we were all flirting and we were like trying to
Speaker 4: be sexy and girls were trying to figure out what
Speaker 4: that looked like on them. And it is the time
Speaker 4: where you experiment with those things, so you want to
Speaker 4: remember what it was like for you, which I feel
Speaker 4: like she does, and then take that fucking Snapchat off
Speaker 4: of their phone. I just think that social media for
Speaker 4: kids that aren't wait till they're in ninth grade, like,
Speaker 4: wait till they're a little bit older, like they just
Speaker 4: the research is so heavy on this now. It's terrible
Speaker 4: for kids. It's terrible. So I'm not, like, I will
Speaker 4: not allow my son to get Snapchat when he gets
Speaker 4: his phone. I won't allow him to get Instagram. I
Speaker 4: won't allow him to get TikTok until he's fifty team.
Speaker 4: You can fuck around with it with someone else's phone, fine,
Speaker 4: but not he won't have it on his phone. And
Speaker 4: I'm really strict about that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're strict.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 3: And I also think all you can do as a
Speaker 3: parent is a set boundaries and over communicate. The best
Speaker 3: parents I see are the people who actually have open
Speaker 3: dialogues with their children. And I know your daughter probably
Speaker 3: sounds like she's in a place that she doesn't want
Speaker 3: to hear you talking to her about it because she
Speaker 3: probably thinks she knows better.
Speaker 1: But everything Kay said is perfect.
Speaker 3: She's hormonal, she's growing, she's experimenting, she's looking around like ooh,
Speaker 3: am I interested in that. It's all fucking completely normal.
Speaker 3: The only things that you can control are like the
Speaker 3: guardrails that you put up and getting rid of Snapchat.
Speaker 3: She'll probably try and start a fake account, but it's
Speaker 3: worth getting rid of and making sure that she understands
Speaker 3: that if she does have a fake account, there are
Speaker 3: going to be repercussions for that. And being in therapy
Speaker 3: is great, thank god, because all she needs is the
Speaker 3: information about what this is going to do.
Speaker 1: What you can't smoke pot when you're thirteen years old.
Speaker 1: It doesn't work that way.
Speaker 3: Your brain has to develop and otherwise you're going to
Speaker 3: pay the price for a really long time. And you
Speaker 3: should put that information in front of her, you know,
Speaker 3: and not necessarily. I don't know, Kate, what do you
Speaker 3: think about, you know, being a parent versus being a friend,
Speaker 3: Like I think that's a very gray area with a
Speaker 3: lot of parents, where people try to be their kids' friends,
Speaker 3: and I think it's important during these kinds of times
Speaker 3: to really be a parent.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I really try to talk to my
Speaker 4: kids when it comes to drugs and it comes to sex,
Speaker 4: Like I really get very clinical, and I come from
Speaker 4: a place of like what for me is a parent
Speaker 4: and what I wish for them in their life, the
Speaker 4: seriousness of it, and that it might seem now that
Speaker 4: it's like fine, but what I've experienced and my friends
Speaker 4: of mine that have gone down certain paths and being
Speaker 4: really really brutal and open with them about it. You know,
Speaker 4: I've lost friends to drugs. It's been terrible and I've
Speaker 4: it and you watch it happen. And also like how
Speaker 4: much you love your kids. I remember when I was
Speaker 4: a teenager, like I love my mom so much. My
Speaker 4: hormones and where I was at I had moments where
Speaker 4: I just couldn't stand her. And it's not it wasn't personal.
Speaker 4: It literally was my hormones, a function of me wanting
Speaker 4: to be my own person and my psychology and all
Speaker 4: the things that were happening at that moment, and my
Speaker 4: mom's love and consistency in being there talking to me,
Speaker 4: communicating is what ends up showing actively what that love
Speaker 4: looks like. You know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I also think you should also treat this
Speaker 3: what's her name again, bet sets like this is a
Speaker 3: time in your life, like it's not the rest of
Speaker 3: your life. She's just going through a time in her
Speaker 3: life right now, and so you have to parent differently
Speaker 3: during this time in order just to help guide her,
Speaker 3: you know. And you can also set up like stepping
Speaker 3: stones for her to earn your trust, you know, so
Speaker 3: that she's to act responsibly. So when she acts responsibly,
Speaker 3: then she can be on social media when you can
Speaker 3: monitor her account and see that she's not talking about
Speaker 3: drugs or sex or things that you're not comfortable with
Speaker 3: yet as a parent of a thirteen year old girl,
Speaker 3: which is totally acceptable. You can't control a thirteen year old.
Speaker 3: I mean, you're her parent at thirteen years old. That's
Speaker 3: still your role. And when I say like you don't
Speaker 3: own your children, I mean that in a larger sense.
Speaker 3: I think as a thirteen year old girl, you are
Speaker 3: in charge of her. You don't own her, no, but
Speaker 3: you are in control of the way she's going to
Speaker 3: be directed. And so you just take that part really
Speaker 3: seriously in this sensitive time which is puberty, and you're
Speaker 3: not alone everyone is dealing with the same thing with
Speaker 3: a thirteen year old girl, you know, if not exactly
Speaker 3: the same thing.
Speaker 1: I heard a.
Speaker 4: Great piece of advice where someone said, like, we don't
Speaker 4: need tough love, like the world presents us with tough
Speaker 4: and I was raised with a lot of tough love.
Speaker 4: When I heard that, I was like, that's a really
Speaker 4: interesting approach when you say boundaries, Like there's a way
Speaker 4: to set boundaries that don't feel like you're coming down
Speaker 4: on your kids, but really feel like we need to
Speaker 4: meet each other as our kids get older. I remember
Speaker 4: saying a rider our relationship will change. My love for
Speaker 4: you never change is but our relationship and the mutual
Speaker 4: respect that needs to start happening changes as you become
Speaker 4: as you get older. And if we can't meet each other,
Speaker 4: there's we're going to have a complicated relationship. And I
Speaker 4: have boundaries, and if this is going to be smooth,
Speaker 4: then we got to be able to talk these things out,
Speaker 4: and that I think is the best, the only thing
Speaker 4: you can do. You know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like the idea of not looking at boundaries
Speaker 3: as a punishment, but actually as like an encouragement, like, Okay,
Speaker 3: you know, if you meet all of these criteria. Then
Speaker 3: you're going to have more freedom to make your own
Speaker 3: decisions once you prove to me that you're making sound
Speaker 3: decisions and responsible decisions for your health and your safety,
Speaker 3: et cetera.
Speaker 2: It's a reward system.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like a reward system. It doesn't have to be like, no,
Speaker 3: you're a bad girl. It's like, look, if you do this,
Speaker 3: you can get this, you know, and after time of
Speaker 3: watching her mature, which you will, like, don't worry, you're
Speaker 3: gonna be fine. You've got her in therapy. You've done
Speaker 3: all the right things. So just be very you know,
Speaker 3: conscious of making sure you're over communicating all the time,
Speaker 3: whether she wants to or not, you're available for it
Speaker 3: if she ever needs you. So that's the message you
Speaker 3: get across when you're always showing up for someone, is
Speaker 3: that when they do need you, you'll be there.
Speaker 4: So parenting is hard.
Speaker 1: And that's why I've chosen not to do it and
Speaker 1: participate in that.
Speaker 4: It's not an easy job. Our kids challenge us so
Speaker 4: deeply and profoundly. They also know how to pick and
Speaker 4: poke at all your weak spots. They see it, even
Speaker 4: if they don't even know that they're seeing it. They know.
Speaker 4: I think the other thing is that our kids are
Speaker 4: our teachers. When we see our kids going through something,
Speaker 4: we also need to reflect back on ourselves. You know,
Speaker 4: they've moved, she's moved. She must feel destabilizing for her.
Speaker 4: She's acting out, and so I think mom too has
Speaker 4: to look and go like, what am I doing that's
Speaker 4: contributing to that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I wanted to touch on the fentanyl concern. You know,
Speaker 5: there are those fentanyl test strips that are out there,
Speaker 5: and you know, on the one hand, it feels like
Speaker 5: providing your child with that could be sort of seen
Speaker 5: as you're saying, like, go ahead, do whatever you want
Speaker 5: with pills whatever. On the other hand, like it's a
Speaker 5: real concern. What are your thoughts about about fentyl and safety?
Speaker 1: Oh god, I don't know, okay about that.
Speaker 4: I a part of me just feels bad that kids
Speaker 4: can't live in the world that we did when we experimented,
Speaker 4: you know, you know, where we didn't have this issue.
Speaker 4: You were like, oh, well, I guess we'll try it.
Speaker 4: You know, I was like, you weren't afraid that like
Speaker 4: that you could die and had to carry around like
Speaker 4: narcam and have fentanyl strips. I mean, I've heard crazy
Speaker 4: story Like the other day is my son. We're talking
Speaker 4: about these kids that had fentanyl strips and they thought
Speaker 4: that it was fine and they one of them ended
Speaker 4: up Odin's fentanyl in it, and oh, really terrible. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and you're like, this is at the end of the day,
Speaker 4: we're just living. I I just say to my kids,
Speaker 4: just don't do it. Just don't fucking do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not it doesn't seem worth it anymore. I
Speaker 3: feel badly like I grew up in a time where
Speaker 3: you could try anything and it was pretty much going
Speaker 3: to be fine.
Speaker 1: But it's not like that anymore.
Speaker 3: And you know, it's a bummer because you do want
Speaker 3: to experiment and have a little fun, but you can't
Speaker 3: do that.
Speaker 1: It's just not worth the risk at this point.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how I see it now.
Speaker 3: It's like I do feel like giving somebody a fence
Speaker 3: and all strip is permissive, it's right saying okay, well
Speaker 3: if you do it, then yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I would feel weird about that as a parrot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially that young that's young kid.
Speaker 5: Well that's all from bets, but let's jump to our
Speaker 5: first collar. Monica Rights, Dear Chelsea. I'm thirty six years
Speaker 5: old and have been with my partner for two and
Speaker 5: a half years. When we decided to become exclusive, I
Speaker 5: asked him where he stood on having kids. He said
Speaker 5: he was indifferent. He'd be happy with or without kids.
Speaker 2: I was clear with.
Speaker 5: Him that I want children. All was good on that front,
Speaker 5: so we moved ahead. About a year in, he told
Speaker 5: me he actually wasn't so sure about having kids. He
Speaker 5: realized he hadn't really thought about it that much when
Speaker 5: I first asked him, and now he's having second thoughts.
Speaker 5: I was devastated. Our relationship has been amazing so far,
Speaker 5: and we decided to move in together. Per my request,
Speaker 5: we started couples counseling to help with that transition. In
Speaker 5: counseling and with his own counselor, he came to the
Speaker 5: conclusion that his doubts about kids were rooted in fears
Speaker 5: he had from his prayer marriage and conservative Christian upbringing.
Speaker 5: Thank Jesus, he's no longer religious or married. I'm delighted
Speaker 5: that he is back on board with having kids now.
Speaker 5: The problem is adoption has long been a dream of mine.
Speaker 5: He knows this, but it's not a deal breaker. For me,
Speaker 5: not wanting kids at all is a deal breaker. Over
Speaker 5: the last year or so, I began to realize how
Speaker 5: important adopting is to me for so many reasons. My
Speaker 5: partner does not want to adopt, and he's adamant. When
Speaker 5: I've asked why, he just says he's not interested. I've
Speaker 5: tried to respect his wishes, but I'm not ready to
Speaker 5: let it rest. Where do I go from here? I'm
Speaker 5: afraid to keep probing the top back as I don't
Speaker 5: feel like I have a good idea of other questions
Speaker 5: to ask or what to say to convey how important
Speaker 5: this is to me. Please help Monica.
Speaker 1: Hi Monica, Hello, Hi Monica, Hi Monica. This is our
Speaker 1: special guest, Kate Hudson today. Hello, Hi Kate, Hi Chelsea, Hi, Kutie, Okay, Kate, Kate.
Speaker 1: It's passionate. So I'm gonna let Kate go first.
Speaker 4: Well, first of all, there's a lot unpacked here, because
Speaker 4: it sounds like there's like you, you know, you guys
Speaker 4: haven't been on the same page for meant for a
Speaker 4: lot of years. It's like goes back and forth with
Speaker 4: the whole kid thing. But there's also I mean, just
Speaker 4: simply you can also have babies on your own. Yeah,
Speaker 4: if adoption is your life's purpose and you want to
Speaker 4: do that as much as you love him, you need
Speaker 4: to go adopt a child and have and you'll never
Speaker 4: regret it, I'll tell you that.
Speaker 8: Yeah, but you will.
Speaker 4: Regret being with someone where you to feel like you're
Speaker 4: not doing something that you're meant to be doing. Yeah,
Speaker 4: that's how I feel about it. I mean, you know,
Speaker 4: really simply like if someone loves you and you're in
Speaker 4: it together, like then you figure out how to do
Speaker 4: it together. And if you're not on the same page,
Speaker 4: you're never going to be on the same page about that.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, those are great points. It's interesting you brought up,
Speaker 6: you know, being able to do it on my own
Speaker 6: before this relationship. You know, many years ago, I was
Speaker 6: very concerned about finding a partner at all, and I
Speaker 6: was like, I'm getting too old to start a family.
Speaker 6: And I finally came to the point where I accepted
Speaker 6: and was okay with and happy with the reality that
Speaker 6: I could go out and adopt children on my own
Speaker 6: and still live a full and happy life. So yeah,
Speaker 6: it's interesting you bring up that point.
Speaker 3: Which is a very salient point because instinctively, I was thinking, like, oh,
Speaker 3: he was already on the fence about having kids. You
Speaker 3: convinced him to do that through therapy, and now you're
Speaker 3: throwing another wrench at him.
Speaker 1: It feels slightly unfair for you to be putting that.
Speaker 3: You know, you're kind of moving the goal posts for him,
Speaker 3: even though they've been your goalposts. It feels like it's
Speaker 3: unfair to him for that. So I but I think
Speaker 3: Katie's right, like, you're never going to regret a child.
Speaker 3: Nobody regrets having children, you know what I mean. But
Speaker 3: you will resent to somebody for stopping your dreams to
Speaker 3: come into full bloom.
Speaker 1: And that's very valid.
Speaker 3: And if you think that's something that you can't live
Speaker 3: without doing without adoption, then you absolutely need to let
Speaker 3: him know that and and prepare to leave the relationship
Speaker 3: if he doesn't change his mind.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, that's that's a great point. It's it's you know,
Speaker 6: everything is really great aside from this one thing that's
Speaker 6: kind of unresolved, and the idea of leaving him is
Speaker 6: really hard because I love him so much. Do you
Speaker 6: think you know the idea of the moving goalpost? Do
Speaker 6: you feel like this is a conversation that's fair to
Speaker 6: have with him to like hope that he gets there,
Speaker 6: Like if i'm you know.
Speaker 3: Well, you have to have the conversation because this is
Speaker 3: what you want. But did you convey this early on
Speaker 3: in your relationship that you were into adoption or is
Speaker 3: this a newer feeling that you've had.
Speaker 6: I definitely conveyed it within the first year. I don't
Speaker 6: recall that I brought it up when I first told
Speaker 6: him that I definitely want kids. That was very very
Speaker 6: early on when I said that. In hindsight, I wish
Speaker 6: I would have brought up adoption then as well. But yeah,
Speaker 6: he's known about it for a while, and it's only
Speaker 6: been more recently, like in the last I don't know,
Speaker 6: maybe six months or so that he has said, you
Speaker 6: know where I've kind of asked him again. I brought
Speaker 6: it up at least a second time, and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 6: I don't think that's something I want to do, And yeah,
Speaker 6: I guess I'm not sure how to bring this up
Speaker 6: again when all he's given me is I don't want
Speaker 6: to do that. I'm just not interested. Yeah, I'm curious
Speaker 6: like how to get like to what's underneath that my.
Speaker 4: Therapist always says, you know, when you change, then everything
Speaker 4: starts changing around you, you know, because at the end
Speaker 4: of the day, this is really more about you than
Speaker 4: it is about him. I think you need to be
Speaker 4: really clear about what you want first. It's not that
Speaker 4: you know, if you really want to have an adopt
Speaker 4: if you have the means obviously really important to bring
Speaker 4: and to pay for a child on your own, and
Speaker 4: that something that is really important to you is adoption,
Speaker 4: then you need to like really lean into that as
Speaker 4: something that you need to do in your life. And
Speaker 4: the more sure you are, then you'll see it will
Speaker 4: reveal itself.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and people do warm up to ideas, you know.
Speaker 5: I don't think it's like, Okay, we have to talk
Speaker 5: about this once and decide, Like if you're bringing it
Speaker 5: up on occasion and talking to him about how important
Speaker 5: it is to you, how much you love the idea,
Speaker 5: like he may warm to the idea.
Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you a question, Monica, is it
Speaker 1: a deal breaker?
Speaker 3: Like if you want adoption is more important than your relationship,
Speaker 3: I mean, sorry to put it that way, but that's
Speaker 3: pretty much what it comes down to.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, and that's kind of something I'm trying
Speaker 6: to decide where I do think I need to figure
Speaker 6: out where I stand on this issue, whether it's a
Speaker 6: deal breaker or not. I previously thought just you know,
Speaker 6: not wanting kids was a deal breaker and that I
Speaker 6: could compromise on the adoption thing. But the more that
Speaker 6: I've thought about it in the last year or so,
Speaker 6: I'm realizing that it I don't know. I'm not to
Speaker 6: the point yet where I want to call it a
Speaker 6: deal breaker, but it is very important to me, and
Speaker 6: I would be sad to give up that dream.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: Well, I think what you can do is, do you
Speaker 1: guys go to a couples counseling at all?
Speaker 6: We have we're not currently, but we were earlier this year.
Speaker 3: Well, you might want to enlist a counselor to kind
Speaker 3: of talk about it with you, because it's always better
Speaker 3: to have a third party, I think. But I think
Speaker 3: there's a very natural, sweet way you can bring it
Speaker 3: up without putting It's not like you're ending the relationship,
Speaker 3: but you're introducing the idea that this is something that's
Speaker 3: really become more and more important to you. Maybe you
Speaker 3: didn't even realize how important it was, the adoption and
Speaker 3: you're at a time in your life where you're really thinking, like,
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm going to be complete without
Speaker 3: doing this, And I just need you to know that
Speaker 3: this is how I'm feeling, and I would love for
Speaker 3: you to change your mind, but I'm also not here
Speaker 3: to make you change your mind.
Speaker 1: Like if you're not on board, and I have to
Speaker 1: respect that.
Speaker 3: You have to respect his decision as well as you
Speaker 3: have as you're respecting your own decision, you know, whatever
Speaker 3: that ends up being, and give him the room to
Speaker 3: think about it and like soak in the idea of
Speaker 3: what might that look like as your future. And that
Speaker 3: way you're giving each other room in space to breathe
Speaker 3: and contemplate a decision and a new life and all
Speaker 3: of that of those things without saying this, you better
Speaker 3: do this or I'm leaving you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be like that.
Speaker 4: Do you guys live together? You live together?
Speaker 6: Yeah, we do.
Speaker 4: I mean that there's also like you could just be like,
Speaker 4: I really love you, I want to keep seeing you.
Speaker 4: I'm going to adopt I'm a baby. I'm gonna get
Speaker 4: in my own house, and you don't have to raise
Speaker 4: this baby with me, but you know, I don't want
Speaker 4: to end it. Yeah, yeah, see what happened, you know.
Speaker 3: What I mean?
Speaker 1: I like that option. That's a great option. Yeah.
Speaker 6: When he was uncertain about kids, my counselor suggested something
Speaker 6: I thought, you know, just you know, you can live separately,
Speaker 6: raise a child and still be together, which is something
Speaker 6: that I still I don't know. I haven't been able
Speaker 6: to fully wrap my head around, because I do want to,
Speaker 6: you know, have a partner in a you know, a
Speaker 6: more traditional family. Yeah, but yeah, I mean that is
Speaker 6: that is an.
Speaker 4: Option that I should give some more thought. Truth is
Speaker 4: the second, the second it starts happening. You know, if
Speaker 4: you guys really love each other, he's probably just going
Speaker 4: to be all over that child.
Speaker 3: And you know, I'm thinking the same thing. I think
Speaker 3: that that that. I think that's a good move. That's
Speaker 3: a good sideways move.
Speaker 1: I like that. We don't usually give sideways advice, or
Speaker 1: actually we probably do unknowingly.
Speaker 4: I've ever done is sideways.
Speaker 3: So yeah, think about think outside the box, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean. You're thinking about everything has to be
Speaker 3: in this perfect little unit. It doesn't necessarily have to.
Speaker 1: Be that way.
Speaker 3: We live in modern times in some states, so you can,
Speaker 3: you know, chart your own course.
Speaker 1: And you should definitely be a mother.
Speaker 3: I can tell by your whole aura and energy that
Speaker 3: you're a maternal and you should live that dream out,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 6: Thank you.
Speaker 1: You're very motherly. I can see it.
Speaker 8: Thank you.
Speaker 4: I just think that that's so amazing because there's so
Speaker 4: there's so many kids that need homes, and I have
Speaker 4: so many friends who've adopted, and it's just it's just
Speaker 4: the best, and it's just you know everything.
Speaker 5: So yeah, and of course having your own kid doesn't
Speaker 5: preclude you from adopting Monica. You know, you might have
Speaker 5: a kid together, adopt and have another kid later.
Speaker 3: That's a great way to trap him, have the baby together,
Speaker 3: and then adopt the baby.
Speaker 6: Perfect.
Speaker 1: You will know what the fuck hit him. He'll be like,
Speaker 1: whoa whoopsie doodle.
Speaker 8: How'd I end up here?
Speaker 2: Thank you so much?
Speaker 1: Good luck with everything you post it?
Speaker 6: Okay, we'll do bye bye.
Speaker 1: Okay bye. You just reminded me to drink my water.
Speaker 8: Yeah, so fun.
Speaker 1: I know, it's so fun.
Speaker 4: Through this on my podcast is Oliver. I'm gonna steal this.
Speaker 1: K Kate's podcast is called Sibling Revelry. If you guys
Speaker 1: have heard it.
Speaker 3: I was on there with my sister as her the
Speaker 3: first episode of her first episode.
Speaker 4: I loved it. Oh my god, your sister's.
Speaker 1: The Okay, we have one more state. We have time
Speaker 1: for the last one.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Should we take a quick break and we'll come
Speaker 2: back for our last college.
Speaker 1: Sure, we'll take a quick break. We're back.
Speaker 2: We're back.
Speaker 5: Julia is calling in from the woods somewhere, so I'll
Speaker 5: give you the quick and dirty. She really needs some
Speaker 5: unbiased advice.
Speaker 2: She's got a couple of kids, I believe.
Speaker 5: Around seven and nine, and they live near a city
Speaker 5: in Canada, but they're really thinking about moving up north,
Speaker 5: kind of in the middle of nowhere, get out in
Speaker 5: the country.
Speaker 2: Raise their kids, be a little more rural.
Speaker 5: Yeah so, but she's truly torn because her mom and
Speaker 5: other family and friends are in the area that she
Speaker 5: currently lives in, and she thinks her mom is going
Speaker 5: to be really totally devastated if they were to move.
Speaker 5: She says, please, Chelsea, don't say if you're asking you
Speaker 5: already the answer like you do a lot, because I
Speaker 5: truly don't know what to do and feel split down
Speaker 5: the middle. So she's calling us from a cabin in
Speaker 5: the woods, but not the one they may be moving to.
Speaker 1: Hi Hi Jilli, Hi, Hi are you inca?
Speaker 8: Oh my god, I'm so close.
Speaker 9: Yes, I'm not right there, but we passed through it
Speaker 9: actually to go where we are.
Speaker 4: I grew up in Muskoke. I grew up going every summer.
Speaker 8: Oh my god, your parents still go there.
Speaker 4: No, No, we sold the house and everything.
Speaker 9: But yeah, you guys are like the talk of the
Speaker 9: town up here.
Speaker 4: It's the most beautiful country. Honestly, it's just the best.
Speaker 4: I miss it so much, so I know why you
Speaker 4: want to move.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's tricky because it is so beautiful and you
Speaker 9: see the value of living like that and raising kids
Speaker 9: in that environment, right, Yeah, Like I get that, but
Speaker 9: there's so many other factors that it makes it hurt.
Speaker 8: It's harder than it seems.
Speaker 4: How long is the drive? Are you like two hours
Speaker 4: or you long? It would be No.
Speaker 9: We are just north of Toronto, so we are about
Speaker 9: four We're past from Scoco. We're actually on Manitulin Island,
Speaker 9: so it's like four or five hours.
Speaker 4: Okay, So it's a long it's a long drive, yeah.
Speaker 3: But it's not yeah, like it's not like undoable. I
Speaker 3: mean four or five hours. People do that on the
Speaker 3: weekends all the time.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know.
Speaker 9: I think that's the thing is I'm so conflicted with like,
Speaker 9: it's not a big deal. It's not like we're moving
Speaker 9: to the other side of the world. But some people
Speaker 9: will respond in that way as if we are moving
Speaker 9: to the other side of it.
Speaker 3: But this is your fucking life. What are you doing.
Speaker 3: You can't let other people direct what you're gonna do.
Speaker 3: You're not moving to another country, You're moving five hours away.
Speaker 3: And while that might be a hard pill to swallow
Speaker 3: in the beginning, everyone will adjust that this is not
Speaker 3: a breakup.
Speaker 4: And you know, but I have the same issue. Can
Speaker 4: I just like totally relate to this because I live
Speaker 4: seven blocks from my mom, My brother is two minutes
Speaker 4: literally literally two minutes down the street. My other brother
Speaker 4: is eight, and I'm always like, I don't want to
Speaker 4: live in Last Angelus. I don't LA doesn't move me,
Speaker 4: and I can't move. I'm like, I would be it
Speaker 4: would be devastating to all of us if want, like
Speaker 4: we have to move as this pack and if I don't,
Speaker 4: then like you're like something's wrong with you.
Speaker 9: Yeah, oh, my god, you are literally describing the dynamic
Speaker 9: of the whole situation because while like I understand it,
Speaker 9: and I could see it, and I probably like we
Speaker 9: could find somewhere that's like comfortable with both of us,
Speaker 9: Like I don't want to be too rural out in
Speaker 9: the hicks, but like somewhere kind of middle ground that
Speaker 9: we're all happy with, and it's like good for our
Speaker 9: kids and stuff. But my mom will lose her mind
Speaker 9: because these are her only grandkids and that's her livelihood.
Speaker 9: Her whole life revolves around my kids.
Speaker 1: And so with you, yeah, she.
Speaker 8: Will never move up here. No, she will never move
Speaker 8: up here.
Speaker 9: And like she hates driving, like if it's like literally
Speaker 9: like if there's a if it snows, she won't drive.
Speaker 9: If it rains, she won't drive. If it's nighttime, she
Speaker 9: won't drive, Like she so it's so hard for her
Speaker 9: to like for appl well, I'm four.
Speaker 4: And a half hours in northern Toronto in the winter is.
Speaker 8: Brutal, it's brutal.
Speaker 9: So it's like I'd have to like go and pick
Speaker 9: her up and bring her back, like she's retired, so
Speaker 9: she could stay with us for a long periods of
Speaker 9: time and have nice visits and stuff, but I just
Speaker 9: know that, like having that conversation will be a disaster.
Speaker 9: It'll be like devastating her and you're leaving me and
Speaker 9: all this.
Speaker 8: Stuff, and she's sixty seven, like she's still young.
Speaker 4: Well why don't you do it for a couple of
Speaker 4: years and see what happens?
Speaker 9: I guess yeah, because my husband's I feel like once
Speaker 9: we go, we're never going to come back though, because
Speaker 9: my husband loves it up here and he's like, I'm
Speaker 9: sick of overliving.
Speaker 8: I hate it. I've sacrificed and lived there for you.
Speaker 9: Like we've done this, now, let's have another chapter, let's
Speaker 9: try something new. And part of me is like, am
Speaker 9: I making a big deal my being a spoiled brat
Speaker 9: and just like not want to do it because I
Speaker 9: don't like change? Or should I just suck it up
Speaker 9: and do it? Or is it my gut telling me
Speaker 9: not to do it? Like I have so many and
Speaker 9: like friends are like you can't leave your mother, and like, yes,
Speaker 9: you should move, Like I'm so conflicted that I literally
Speaker 9: don't got a standstill because I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3: I honestly, I really think you have to just go
Speaker 3: do what's right for you and your family, And I
Speaker 3: think your mother will adjust and the conversation will be
Speaker 3: very difficult initially, but I think you'll be surprised by
Speaker 3: how quickly she turns around and starts driving long distances
Speaker 3: and starts spending more time with you and contemplates even
Speaker 3: you know, spending maybe months at a time with you.
Speaker 3: Like it's just the conversation that's scaring the shit out
Speaker 3: of you because you know what her reaction is going
Speaker 3: to be. But the sooner you have that conversation, the
Speaker 3: sooner she's gonna get used to the idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's exactly right.
Speaker 5: Like floating the idea out before you're like, this is
Speaker 5: what we're doing and when it's happening could be really helpful.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 9: Yeah, Yeah, we like we've sort of like danced around it,
Speaker 9: but I can tell it's like not gonna go smoothly,
Speaker 9: so we just like leave it.
Speaker 3: But that's not a reason to not do it. And
Speaker 3: also you can set up like, hey, this is this
Speaker 3: is our plan. We're going to come back every whatever
Speaker 3: once a month and spend the weekend with you.
Speaker 1: You're gonna come, We're gonna come get you. For a week,
Speaker 1: a month or whatever.
Speaker 3: The schedule is, Like lay that out so that you
Speaker 3: know there's comfort in that and there's like some consistency
Speaker 3: and a schedule that's being set.
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think that's the thing, is
Speaker 9: just giving her that comfort.
Speaker 1: But and frame it that it is temporary.
Speaker 3: Just say that for everyone's sake, Just say we're just
Speaker 3: gonna try this for a couple of years so that
Speaker 3: everyone can warm up to the idea. Because that way,
Speaker 3: if you do end up staying by that time, everyone's
Speaker 3: going to be over it.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 3: Families are resilient and they rebound from the trauma and
Speaker 3: they come back to you. You know, if you're a
Speaker 3: close knit family, no one's going anywhere anyway.
Speaker 4: It's kind of true. My brother moved to Colorado for
Speaker 4: two years and we were all like, are you serious,
Speaker 4: Like this is It was devastating to all of us,
Speaker 4: and before we knew it, he was back and everything
Speaker 4: was It's fine.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 9: I think it's almost just like the anxiety is like
Speaker 9: before it even happens, you have more anxiety than you
Speaker 9: even need to do.
Speaker 1: That's what you're doing.
Speaker 8: Yeah, do you.
Speaker 4: Want to move? Do you want to move? Or that
Speaker 4: more your husband.
Speaker 9: It's like if he said tomorrow, like no, never mind,
Speaker 9: let's just cancel everything and stay. I'd be happy where
Speaker 9: we are, Like it's a lovely community. It's a beautiful,
Speaker 9: small little communit Like it's a beautiful area where we
Speaker 9: live now. So I'm we're happy there. But he's like,
Speaker 9: I think we can do more. We can like his
Speaker 9: business could do well here. I can work remote, I
Speaker 9: work from wherever, so we have that like flexibility and
Speaker 9: it's just like it's beautiful up here. So he's just like,
Speaker 9: this is why what are we doing? Like what we're
Speaker 9: we're in the early forties, Let's do something else that'll
Speaker 9: be what the hell?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 8: So and I totally see it.
Speaker 9: It's like more, more money, more opportunities, better lifestyle.
Speaker 8: I see all the pros.
Speaker 9: But then I'm just like I just keep pulling myself
Speaker 9: back to like I hate change, and like part of
Speaker 9: me is like can I mentally go through a big
Speaker 9: move and like rerip my kids out of the school
Speaker 9: and like start over and leave all our friends, And
Speaker 9: part of me is like can I even handle that?
Speaker 8: Because that scares me.
Speaker 9: It's not even just like my mom and stuff it's
Speaker 9: like the scary I don't like change.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you can handle it and you will handle
Speaker 3: it if that's what you choose to do, and you
Speaker 3: can handle it. And this is a difficult conversation, and
Speaker 3: this is what adulthood is about, is about having difficult
Speaker 3: moments with people we love when sometimes you have to
Speaker 3: like give somebody bad news.
Speaker 1: So it's like a testament.
Speaker 3: To your like, you know, enduring strength as a woman,
Speaker 3: and it's empowering. So I think you should look at
Speaker 3: it from that, like you're taking a stance for your
Speaker 3: family and you're doing what's right for your family for
Speaker 3: this period of time. And that doesn't mean anyone's going
Speaker 3: to be excommunicated. You're all just going to adjust to
Speaker 3: it together. And if that's you know, if you really
Speaker 3: feel this way, and I think you should go. I
Speaker 3: think the way Kate described it, the way you're describing it,
Speaker 3: it just sounds beautiful and why not have an adventure?
Speaker 8: Yeah, no, it is. And I think that's the thing.
Speaker 9: It's like, deep down, I have that little voice like
Speaker 9: when we come up here, it's like, oh, it is
Speaker 9: so gorgeous, and it's like, but I'm so scared, right,
Speaker 9: Like I just don't like change.
Speaker 4: They also say that when you do things like that,
Speaker 4: you just you live longer. Yeah, they say when you change,
Speaker 4: when you go into new environments and you have these
Speaker 4: like different experiences, and it's actually like it literally rejuvenates yourselves.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I could see that.
Speaker 9: Yeah, it makes Yeah, I think I just don't like
Speaker 9: being out of my comfort zone. And I just I
Speaker 9: think it'd be good though, It'll be a growth experience
Speaker 9: for everything.
Speaker 8: Right, So, just well you're.
Speaker 4: Saying it, if you're if this is about you and anxiety,
Speaker 4: then you need to go Yeah you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: You need to like be more fearless.
Speaker 8: And just yeah, I know, I think that's what it is.
Speaker 9: It's just like you're in your comfort zone with like
Speaker 9: your family and your kids in schools and everything, and
Speaker 9: it's just scary to like start over and just move
Speaker 9: somewhere where it's brand new. Everything's brand new and scary.
Speaker 8: Right.
Speaker 9: So but anyways, now everything you're saying, it's like I think,
Speaker 9: deep down I know all that, and it's just hard
Speaker 9: to like come to terms with it.
Speaker 1: Well, this is the kick in your ass that you're
Speaker 1: looking for.
Speaker 8: Okay, Yeah, Chelsey and I.
Speaker 4: We're really like the wrong people to say, because we
Speaker 4: literally live on the road all we do. It's we're
Speaker 4: like circus, folks.
Speaker 1: I'm going to live.
Speaker 3: I'm going to live till one hundred and fifty for
Speaker 3: all the new ironments I'm exposed to. Yeah, yeah, good
Speaker 3: luck to you and let us know what happens.
Speaker 1: Okay, keep in touch with us.
Speaker 2: Send us a postcard from up north.
Speaker 4: Yeah, bias to meet you.
Speaker 8: Thanks so much meeting you. This was awesome. Thank you
Speaker 8: so much.
Speaker 1: Bye Julia, Bye, Hey, how did you know?
Speaker 2: Exactly where did you go?
Speaker 1: That was so funny.
Speaker 2: They even say Canada like.
Speaker 4: Scoca, Well, the Lake Country when she said up north,
Speaker 4: like that's what we call from Toronto. All Lake Country
Speaker 4: and Muskoka is like kind of the biggest sort of Algonquin.
Speaker 4: It's honestly, guys, it's like heaven up there. It's the
Speaker 4: most beautiful place in the world to me.
Speaker 3: That's where I'm going to buy a bunch of acres
Speaker 3: for global warming is Northern Canada.
Speaker 1: That seems to be the safest place to do it.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna buy one hundred acres and then tell anybody
Speaker 3: that they want that they can just come build and.
Speaker 1: Keep about fifty feet in between dwellings.
Speaker 4: Okay, I'll show you where to go.
Speaker 1: Yeah you will. You're a climatologist, you'll know where to go.
Speaker 4: Uh huh, that's right, Kate.
Speaker 3: This was so much fun. Thank you so much for
Speaker 3: being with us today. I love you. You know how
Speaker 3: much I love you.
Speaker 4: I love you so much, and you.
Speaker 1: Gave great fucking advice on top of it.
Speaker 8: I did you did?
Speaker 4: I could talk to it. I could talk forever on
Speaker 4: this stub.
Speaker 8: Do you how do you even think goodbye?
Speaker 4: I could like literally talk to you for an hour.
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Well, you contributed so thank you and I will see
Speaker 3: you soon.
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me, Love you.
Speaker 1: Thanks, love you, Thanks Kate, Bye bye. Okay, guys.
Speaker 3: Also, I have added more second shows to my Little
Speaker 3: Big Bitch tour. I added second shows in Hollywood at
Speaker 3: the Pantages.
Speaker 1: I am going to be there two.
Speaker 3: Nights October twelfth and thirteenth. I added another show at
Speaker 3: the Chicago Theater October twenty seventh and October twenty eighth,
Speaker 3: one of my favorite places to perform. I added another
Speaker 3: show in Portland, so I'll be there November se second
Speaker 3: and third. And I added a second show in Boston
Speaker 3: at the Weighing Center, so I will be their November
Speaker 3: sixteenth and seventeenth. I also have two shows in Seattle,
Speaker 3: San Francisco, New York at the Beacon and Washington, d C.
Speaker 3: I will be there October fifth and sixth, and a
Speaker 3: special shout out to Phoenix, Arizona, where I'm coming Saturday,
Speaker 3: October fourteenth, and then I'm coming to Cleveland Columbus in Pittsburgh,
Speaker 3: so suck on that, you guys. I can't wait to
Speaker 3: see everybody. Oh and I'm coming to Eugene, Oregon too, everybody.
Speaker 3: That's November ninth, twenty twenty three, and I will be
Speaker 3: at the Clubhouse in East Hampton, which is going to
Speaker 3: be a very intimate show on Saturday, August twenty sixth,
Speaker 3: So if you are in the Long Island area, that's
Speaker 3: where I'll be the Clubhouse.
Speaker 5: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
Speaker 5: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
Speaker 5: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 5: and engineered by Brad Dickert secutive producer Katherine Locke, and
Speaker 5: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
Speaker 5: com