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Speaker 1: This is the intergalactic John un This is Alien Salem

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Speaker 1: on the International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have

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Speaker 1: some human stories coming up, not alien, but before we

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Speaker 1: make a landing, stick around for this two minute not

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Speaker 1: alien ad break before we get to these interstellar stories.

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Speaker 2: I married my sister in law. My family did not

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Speaker 2: take it well, keeping it in the family. So to start,

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Speaker 2: I realized my situation is just insane and not normal.

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Speaker 2: Never in a million years would I have imagine ended

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Speaker 2: up in this situation. Okay, backstory, I knew I was

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Speaker 2: into chicks from the moment I was old enough to

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Speaker 2: have a crush. Hello. Well, I am lucky enough that

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Speaker 2: my family were not horrid but monsters or disown me

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Speaker 2: or anything. But they were not accepting and saw it

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Speaker 2: as a face. By the way, this comes from helpful confusion.

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Speaker 2: If you want to spit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: our slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So I rebelled a lot

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Speaker 2: growing up. In the moment I could, I left home

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Speaker 2: and moved across the country. I still in contact with

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Speaker 2: my family phone calls and holidays. My family paid for

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Speaker 2: my school. I don't want it to sound awful. They

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Speaker 2: were just annoying. We never saw eye to eye. My

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Speaker 2: older brother was the only person in my family I

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Speaker 2: was ever close to. He always supported me and was

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Speaker 2: like my best friend. Skip ahead a bit. My brother

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Speaker 2: was my family's perfect son. Oh. He joined the military,

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Speaker 2: met a girl, got married, moved back to our hometown,

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Speaker 2: had three kids. Every Sunday they all went to church

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Speaker 2: together and then had a big family dinner and lived

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Speaker 2: the perfect postcard life. Okay, this was my life ro now.

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Speaker 3: He literally is like the white picket fence postcard.

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Speaker 2: We would go to church on Sundays and afterwards have

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Speaker 2: dinner together afterwards. That is a common trope. And then

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Speaker 2: my brother was unlived in a car accident, no wasted

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Speaker 2: driver or anything, just someone losing control on ice. And

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Speaker 2: at that time my life was h double hockey sticks.

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Speaker 2: And I had been struggling with depression, and I had

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Speaker 2: a huge, very public failure in my career that I

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Speaker 2: would not be recovering from. I had no money, nowhere

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Speaker 2: to go, and on top of it, losing my brother

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Speaker 2: an only real family I felt I had, was the worst.

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Speaker 2: My sister in law had been verily close before all

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Speaker 2: of this. We would talk on the phone often and

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Speaker 2: hang out during visits. I adored her. After this happened,

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Speaker 2: she suggested I move in with her and the kids

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Speaker 2: and help her out with the kids and the house

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Speaker 2: while she stepped up more in her business. My family

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Speaker 2: hated this. They wanted her to sell her home and

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Speaker 2: the business and move her and the kids in with them.

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Speaker 2: But after a few months things calmed down a bit.

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Speaker 2: My sister in law kept a very close relationship with

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Speaker 2: my family. She felt it was important for the kids

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Speaker 2: as well. I was there and mostly nagged and asked

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Speaker 2: when I was getting a boyfriend, because my mom is

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Speaker 2: a stereotype lo. Well, this relationship didn't just spark over

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Speaker 2: the bonding of losing my brother or anything. It was

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Speaker 2: very slow. We were like best friends and kind of

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Speaker 2: acted like a little family together. She had told me

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Speaker 2: she was by and had daity girls in college. Nearly

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Speaker 2: three years after we began a romantic relationship. At first

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Speaker 2: we kept it completely secret. Then once we knew it

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Speaker 2: was serious, we shared it with the kids, who were

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Speaker 2: very accepting. Then our friends, well, we kept it from

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Speaker 2: our family. Wonder why we have been together seven years now?

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Speaker 2: I propose and she said yes.

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Speaker 3: My goodness, Wow, wow, wow, so this was three years

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Speaker 3: after the brother had passed.

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Speaker 2: And they started like, you know, being a family, like, hey,

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Speaker 2: let's uh, let's keep this family going. That's really sweet. Wow.

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Speaker 2: The problem, obviously, if you have been following along, my

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Speaker 2: family did not take the noose well at all. They

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Speaker 2: have now threatened to disown me if we go with this,

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Speaker 2: and the worst, they have threatened to try and take

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Speaker 2: the kids because we have an unsafe gignetic copy pasting relation.

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Speaker 2: She and I are not related by blood.

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Speaker 3: It was about to say, I think they were saying,

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Speaker 3: I think that was the Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Wait, so Opie and her brother are related by blood? Yes,

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Speaker 2: brother married. Yeah, so this kids kids are related by

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Speaker 2: blood there? Yes, would this be a word?

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Speaker 3: No, it wouldn't at all be because the it's only

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Speaker 3: when the relationship itself. So she is their aunt, but

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Speaker 3: she will now become their mother.

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Speaker 2: I know it's strange, but we are just two people

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Speaker 2: who fell in love. We are not allowing them to

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Speaker 2: see the kids now because they said awful things about us,

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Speaker 2: and try to get them to say awful things. They

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Speaker 2: are also trying to go after my brother's estate and

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Speaker 2: the house, saying they somehow have the rights to do it.

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Speaker 2: They have been trying to savotage our wedding. After we

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Speaker 2: sent out the RSVPs and got them back, we had

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Speaker 2: probably ninety percent of the family cancel because she talk

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Speaker 2: them out of coming. We have already spent the money.

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Speaker 2: We wanted a beautiful, big wedding and it's ruined. And

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Speaker 2: I know that it's just things and it doesn't matter,

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Speaker 2: but it still hurts. I wanted that dream wedding and

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Speaker 2: it's gone. My fiance is heartbroken. She felt like they

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Speaker 2: were her family and they just portrayed all of that.

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Speaker 2: She wants to try and talk to them and make

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Speaker 2: them see the light. But honestly, I don't know how

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Speaker 2: or if it's even possible, and we got comments I

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Speaker 2: in a million years would have not seen this ever coming.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that it could be possible in like

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Speaker 3: years down the line, but certainly I think right now

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Speaker 3: they're very much in their probably like hurts of losing

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Speaker 3: the sun is kind of coming back, and then also

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Speaker 3: a little bit of that bigotry surrounding the same relationships.

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Speaker 3: So I feel like right now, especially because they're threatening

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Speaker 3: legal action and taking the kids away, I think it's

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Speaker 3: focusing on you guys and making sure that you're all

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Speaker 3: safe and protected.

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Speaker 2: Anyways, comments, Oh you're if you haven't have your wedding

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Speaker 2: with the friend and family that you support you at

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Speaker 2: whatever size that turns out to be. Stop wasting your

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Speaker 2: time and energy on trying to make these people see reason.

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Speaker 2: Hopefully they'll drop the threats when they realize it's not

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Speaker 2: going to get them the outcome they want. And you

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Speaker 2: can decide to either cautiously reconcile with anyone who apologizes

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Speaker 2: on a case by case basis. But unless and until

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Speaker 2: that happens, and frankly I suspected, won't you need to

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Speaker 2: get out of the idea that you can have a happy,

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Speaker 2: welcoming family experience you want with these people who insist

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Speaker 2: on controlling what that looks like, and protect the unit

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Speaker 2: you're building together, Ope says. A lot of people have

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Speaker 2: given the lawyer advice. We have briefly spoken to hours

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Speaker 2: about the estate and business. My fiance one hundred percent

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Speaker 2: handles all the business and honestly has just been so

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Speaker 2: upset about it that it has been too difficult to discuss.

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Speaker 2: The lawyer seems slightly concerned that my parents would have

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Speaker 2: some type of legal standing who knows. Sometimes if like

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Speaker 2: you know, there's like sometimes there's partners, and like they'll

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Speaker 2: have like their parents be like a little bit of

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Speaker 2: an ownership of it in case someone dies or whatever,

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Speaker 2: like to be people to take.

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Speaker 3: Away from the mom would be crazy. Well, maybe the

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Speaker 3: estate is what they're worried about rather than the kids,

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Speaker 3: because I don't know how much legal you know, ability

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Speaker 3: they would have to take away the kids from their mom,

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Speaker 3: especially if there's no danger going on in the house.

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Speaker 3: But maybe the estate could be a problem.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and plus they got a good lawyer. Yeah, money matters.

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Speaker 2: They did help my brothers start the business and gave

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Speaker 2: him all the money for it. Oh, they might be

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Speaker 2: looking for their payment back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like, we put money into this, we want

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Speaker 3: it back now.

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Speaker 2: But I was under the impression that they did not

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Speaker 2: own any part of it. The lawyer told us not

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Speaker 2: to discuss it with them at all, and he would

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Speaker 2: look into it on our end and get whatever legal

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Speaker 2: documents my parents are claiming they have. He told us

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Speaker 2: not to worry, but he didn't want to give us

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Speaker 2: anything until he knew more. We haven't discussed the kids

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Speaker 2: with any lawyer yet. We have an incident where my

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Speaker 2: mother and aunt picked up the youngest from school early.

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Speaker 2: My mother was on the list of people who could

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Speaker 2: pick her up at the time. They took her out

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Speaker 2: for ice cream and interrogated her over our relationship, ask

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Speaker 2: if we kissed in front of them as we drank

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Speaker 2: or did substances, and asked how much money we spent

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Speaker 2: and stuff we bought. But as far as I know, dude,

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Speaker 2: this is kind of like know those things that are

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Speaker 2: like you get free q pons where you have to

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Speaker 2: tell us what you bought and how much money you

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Speaker 2: make a year. That's what that sounds like. Sounds like

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Speaker 2: they're gonna get that data and sell it to people

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Speaker 2: that It was like.

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Speaker 3: Here's we just have a couple questions. Nothing suspicious going

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Speaker 3: on here.

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Speaker 2: How many times did they visit Ralphs this week? Okay once? Okay?

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Speaker 2: How much approximately do they make in groceries? Okay?

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Speaker 3: We are part of the Christian science group, but don't worry,

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Speaker 3: we're not scientologist.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh man, scientologists. But as far as I know,

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Speaker 2: she hasn't contacted CPS. She has only had contact with

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Speaker 2: the kids once after that with us there and it

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Speaker 2: turned into a huge and she hasn't seen them since

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Speaker 2: We've got an update and about a fourth of the

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Speaker 2: story left.

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Speaker 3: Ooh, I think you need to go like wherever your

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Speaker 3: kids go, you needn't make sure that no one has

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Speaker 3: access but you, guys, because you have to make sure

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Speaker 3: that like pick up drop off, your mom is not

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Speaker 3: doing that anymore, she's off the list, and that you

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Speaker 3: talk to the teachers and tell them about the situation.

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Speaker 2: Through the front desk. Lady update. First, I want to

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Speaker 2: say that you were all the most amazing people and

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Speaker 2: is inspiring how absolutely kind of beautiful people can be

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Speaker 2: to strangers, even so when family isn't. You so touched

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Speaker 2: my now wife in an emotional way that it's truly

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Speaker 2: helped us and more so her go through this. And

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Speaker 2: there are no words for how thankful and touched we are.

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Speaker 2: We did get married. It was beautiful, very small ceremony

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Speaker 2: and we had many great friends that made it truly special.

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Speaker 2: My wife one hundred percent wanted to invite you all,

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Speaker 2: but we couldn't for reasons I will get into below.

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Speaker 2: Because we're strangers can fight. Wait, she's gonna get into

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Speaker 2: a below. Why you don't have to get into this.

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Speaker 2: We were actually able to get several of our deposits

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Speaker 2: back or partly back. After explaining the situation, we moved

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Speaker 2: to the location to a friend's property and a friend's

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Speaker 2: aunt made us our cake for free. Most importantly, I

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Speaker 2: married the woman I love and got to share it

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Speaker 2: with those who truly mattered and loved us. No, my

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Speaker 2: parents were not there, some extended family was so the

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Speaker 2: reason I went quiet and took so long to update. Well. Sadly,

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Speaker 2: my parents did end up doing some worse things like

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Speaker 2: truly satan on earth sadistic as many suggested. We went

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Speaker 2: discussed it with a lawyer and he told us not

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Speaker 2: to discuss it anymore. At the time. He was like,

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Speaker 2: stop stop talking about it. They'll hear you the walls

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Speaker 2: that it may somehow affect things negatively for us. He

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Speaker 2: actually wanted me to delete the post, and we I

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Speaker 2: went through and saved all of our favorite comments as

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Speaker 2: I was prepared to delete, but I obviously didn't do it. Loo.

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Speaker 2: I can't go into all the details. Wonder why, but

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Speaker 2: things got very very ugly, but I can say that

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Speaker 2: in the end everything worked out really well for what

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Speaker 2: it was. My parents came to a semi sensus with

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Speaker 2: the help of the lawyers and never getting any contact

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Speaker 2: with their grandchildren again. They also ever ties with our

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Speaker 2: business and dropped everything. We are in the process of

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Speaker 2: moving three hours away so that we won't have to

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Speaker 2: deal with the stress and drama of them and the

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Speaker 2: town and everyone knowing we are also making some major

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Speaker 2: steps in the business to allow us to do this.

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Speaker 2: My wife and my relationship with my parents, I don't

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Speaker 2: think we'll ever recover. While they did apologize and make

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Speaker 2: some effort, it's just too much anger and hurt there.

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Speaker 2: They have all been cordial, but there is little to

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Speaker 2: no trust there now. They are not allowed to visit

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Speaker 2: with the children at this time and maybe in the

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Speaker 2: future supervised or when they're older. They do get a

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Speaker 2: weekly supervised FaceTime. The kids don't truly understand why this

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Speaker 2: is all happening. Heck, I don't fully grasp it. It's

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Speaker 2: just been really hard on them. They don't get why

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Speaker 2: we did it spend Thanksgiving with grandparents and why we

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Speaker 2: won't see them at Christmas. And by the way, you

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Speaker 2: could see us on any holiday that you make or

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Speaker 2: that is actually real. All you gotta go to is

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Speaker 2: your favorite podcast platform, which would.

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Speaker 3: Be iHeartRadio or sometimes Spotify or sometimes Apple podcasts and

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Speaker 3: search up.

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Speaker 2: Okay, storytime and will be with you, hold your hand

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Speaker 2: through any holiday.

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Speaker 3: We'll be here this Memorial Day, so any other thing.

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Speaker 3: I think that's very fair. You guys are like, it's

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Speaker 3: gonna take some time. Yeah, they apologize, but also they

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Speaker 3: sued you basically, I think they at least got lawyers involved.

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Speaker 3: Seems like it was very ugly. They were trying to

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Speaker 3: get your children involved, saying nasty things about them, and

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Speaker 3: it seems like only the thought of never seeing the

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Speaker 3: grand kids again and some other legal stuff gotten them. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: got to them. So it's like, oh, you didn't do

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Speaker 3: it out of love for me, It was because you

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Speaker 3: were gonna lose something, you feel it. Yeah, So that

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Speaker 3: it definitely would take a lot of time and a

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Speaker 3: lot of them apologizing and making, you know, doing the work. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It is kind of crazy how much like parents flip

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Speaker 2: as soon as they don't have access to the grand babies,

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Speaker 2: Like what about your children.

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Speaker 3: Already eight at eighteen years with them, they're still hoping

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Speaker 3: the little ones.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's the hardest part in all of it.

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Speaker 2: As much as it hurts me that my parents did

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Speaker 2: this to me, and treating me this way, knowing that

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Speaker 2: the kids got hurt sucks. They still love their grandparents

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Speaker 2: and that is why we are allowing them to still

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Speaker 2: be in their life somewhat. Anyways, things are truly good

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Speaker 2: though right now and again I can't thank you all enough.

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Speaker 2: Just at that time things were so horrible, and being

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Speaker 2: able to read through the comments with my wife and

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Speaker 2: see your and smile it was beautiful. I seriously credit

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Speaker 2: the friendly, sweet people for helping us get through that.

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Speaker 2: I hope someday I can pay that forward. And that's

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Speaker 2: the end of that story. Here we go.

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Speaker 3: Seems like it's on the road to you know, a recovery.

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Speaker 3: Seems like it's good for you and your wife.

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Speaker 2: A happy no contact ending.

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Speaker 3: My sister in law revealed my location to my ex,

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Speaker 3: even after repeated warnings not to.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you should turn off your location on your phone.

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Speaker 3: This story needs a lot of background to fully grasp

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Speaker 3: how severe everything is.

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Speaker 2: So buckle in. My ex boyfriend Jake.

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Speaker 3: Twenty seven male and I twenty seven female, broke up

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Speaker 3: a few years ago. We had been together for over

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Speaker 3: five years, and we're thinking about marriage and buying a house.

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Speaker 2: Together.

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Speaker 3: In the last year of our relationship, everything fell apart.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from uncertain nom and if

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Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 3: r slash Okay storytime suppered it So long story short.

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Speaker 3: You had a sudden psychotic episode and was placed in

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Speaker 3: a mental health ward mental health facility attached to hospital.

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Speaker 3: This is in Australia. FYI for his safety. Following this,

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Speaker 3: his entire personality change and he developed delusions, hallucinations, and

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Speaker 3: paranoia which never went away. A large part of his

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Speaker 3: paranoia revolved around ME controlling people around him and thinking

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Speaker 3: I was trying to make him look crazy. He also

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Speaker 3: constantly accused me of cheating on him and told me

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Speaker 3: many times that he hated me. He was let out

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Speaker 3: of the hospital after some time, and I took responsibility

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Speaker 3: for him. This change in him was heartbreaking. He was

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Speaker 3: eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia. I did everything I could to

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Speaker 3: be there for him. I went to all of his

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Speaker 3: mental health appointments and stayed up at night to make

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Speaker 3: sure he didn't leave the house alone. He was prone

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Speaker 3: to wandering out at night when experiencing psychosis. Things became

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Speaker 3: too much for me to handle. He became angry, and

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Speaker 3: his paranoia about me made it impossible to help him.

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Speaker 3: He didn't trust me to be close to him, but

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Speaker 3: at the same time, he didn't want me to leave

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Speaker 3: a site, as he was convinced I was cheating when

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Speaker 3: he seemed to be doing a little better mentally, I

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Speaker 3: broke up with him. It's like, Okay, you're good right now?

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Speaker 2: Right because like she doesn't want to break up with

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Speaker 2: him when he's no, I mean, she.

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Speaker 3: Feels a lot of responsibility for him, it seems. I

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Speaker 3: waited until I felt he would be okay on his

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Speaker 3: own and helped organize for him to move back with

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Speaker 3: his parents. I was filled with guilt for that decision,

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Speaker 3: but it was the right choice for me. I was

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Speaker 3: struggling for months, I received no love and was used

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Speaker 3: as an emotional scapegoat. I did my best. He wasn't

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Speaker 3: the same person anymore, and his resentment for me was intense. Obviously,

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Speaker 3: this is in the full breakdown of his mental health issues,

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Speaker 3: as a lot of things he went through are very personal.

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Speaker 3: I never blamed him for what happened, but I needed

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Speaker 3: to be happy and did what I needed to do.

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Speaker 3: It was a messy breakup, but it went better than expected.

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Speaker 3: We kept talking for a little while as friends. I

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Speaker 3: think the entire time we kept contact, he assumed we

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Speaker 3: would get back together at some point. I continued helping

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Speaker 3: him when I could, and I started a new relationship

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00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,280
Speaker 3: with my current partner, Sam thirty manl Well. Jake had

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00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:05,159
Speaker 3: a really bad psychotic episode. He accused me of cheating

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00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,480
Speaker 3: on him with Sam before we broke up, which makes

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Speaker 3: no sense. As I met Sam after we broke up

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Speaker 3: and sent both of us intense messages. I managed to

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Speaker 3: contact Jake's family, who got him the help he needed.

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Speaker 3: Following this, I caught all contact with Jake. It was

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Speaker 3: obvious that we couldn't maintain a friendship anymore.

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Speaker 2: I would just move away, states away, go somewhere else.

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Speaker 3: You would have to be very careful about you know,

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Speaker 3: I mean, clearly we know the title of the story,

347
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,760
Speaker 3: but about who knows information about you and stuff, and

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Speaker 3: also just like being aware of what he's capable of,

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Speaker 3: because it seems like right now at least it was

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Speaker 3: just the awful messages and sort of verbal stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and his family is still taking care of him. But

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Speaker 3: I definitely think that no contact is a good idea.

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Speaker 2: Agreed, definitely no contact. I'm thinking, like, they're probably going

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Speaker 2: to do delivery groceries at their house, but you don't

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Speaker 2: need to live in fear. Wait, you think that they're

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Speaker 2: going to deliver groceries. I'm just thinking, if we see

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Speaker 2: this guy at a Walmart, what are we gonna do?

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Speaker 3: Well? I mean, yeah, I guess it depends on where

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00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,080
Speaker 3: you live and if you have like a place that

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00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:09,720
Speaker 3: you see him a lot. The only slight connection I

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Speaker 3: have to Jake is my brother's girlfriend, Jess twenty nine female.

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Speaker 3: She and Jake have been friends for years and have

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Speaker 3: maintained their friendship. She knows the entire background to our

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00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,320
Speaker 3: relationship and never chose sides. I would say, I'm close

365
00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:25,240
Speaker 3: with her. We have always been friendly. It always made

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Speaker 3: me happy to know that Jake still had a good

367
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Speaker 3: friend to confine it shift forward to March twenty twenty two.

368
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,600
Speaker 3: I got pregnant with Sam's baby in January and was

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Speaker 3: three months pregnant. I had just told my family and

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Speaker 3: close friends about the pregnancy. I told everyone to keep

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Speaker 3: it quiet as I didn't feel ready to publicly announce it.

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Speaker 3: I was incredibly emotional, nauseous, and in no state to

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Speaker 3: deal with any potential fallout at that point. Less than

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Speaker 3: twenty four hours past after telling my side of the family,

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Speaker 3: and I received a phone call from Jake. He had

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Speaker 3: found out I was pregnant and left a voicemail else

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00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 3: saying he would be filing for custody of the baby. Obviously,

378
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 3: he was in a psychotic episode, so I ignored his

379
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,399
Speaker 3: calls and let his family know that he had reached

380
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 3: out to me. By this point, it had been over

381
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,640
Speaker 3: a year since we had even spoken. He has no

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00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 3: idea where I live or work, so I'm not worried

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Speaker 3: about him showing up physically to confront me. I knew

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00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 3: the only way he could have found out would have

385
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,480
Speaker 3: been through chess. I called and confronted her about it,

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00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 3: and she admitted to it. She was extremely apologetic and

387
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,639
Speaker 3: said she didn't think it would matter. She thought he

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00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,040
Speaker 3: would be fine with the news and said he deserved

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00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 3: to know.

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00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 2: No, he doesn't.

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00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,879
Speaker 3: What he doesn't deserve to know private information that OPI

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00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,120
Speaker 3: told everyone to keep to themselves.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like a noe. S Where we read where I

394
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 2: think we read it. It was there was a guy

395
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Speaker 2: that was hooking up with his chick and his chick

396
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 2: wanted to get with Opie's boyfriend. Remember that the pick

397
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 2: me girl that played basketball, y, Yeah, that's what it

398
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,240
Speaker 2: feels like. I feel like Jess is trying to like, no,

399
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,200
Speaker 2: you need to work it out, and they're like hooking

400
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 2: out on the side and they're like, no, you need

401
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 2: to like be good with them, blah blah bla blah

402
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 2: blah blah.

403
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,080
Speaker 3: But it's like, well, I just think it's like, one,

404
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 3: it's weird that she told him anything about Opee because

405
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,399
Speaker 3: Opiece said, don't tell anyone this. But also it's weird

406
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,840
Speaker 3: that she is friends with him and should know better

407
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,159
Speaker 3: about what kind of triggers these things, Like it seems

408
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,680
Speaker 3: like every time he learns about something new about Ope,

409
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,200
Speaker 3: it triggers a psychotic episode, And so for her to

410
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 3: say something.

411
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 2: Else it's huge.

412
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 3: That's like a huge deal. I think for anyone to

413
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 3: find out that the Rex is having a child, it

414
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 3: would be like, WHOA, that's news. To tell a person

415
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 3: who has schizophrenia that who like has been known to

416
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,199
Speaker 3: have episodes after finding information about the.

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Speaker 2: Rex is just so stupid to me. It is very close.

418
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,880
Speaker 3: I was upset by this, but I hadn't explicitly told

419
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,960
Speaker 3: her not to tell Jake, so it could have just

420
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 3: been a mistake. Even though I told her to tell

421
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 3: no one, I bit my tongue to keep the peace.

422
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 3: I forgave her, but made it very clear that she

423
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,439
Speaker 3: shouldn't tell Jake any more information about me or the

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Speaker 3: baby and it would never happen again.

425
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Speaker 2: I don't believe you.

426
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 3: I didn't hear anything from Jake for months. Last weekend

427
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 3: was my baby shower. Sam and I had the baby

428
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,199
Speaker 3: shower together. It was more of a party than a

429
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 3: traditional baby shower. We hired a function room at a

430
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 3: bar and invited eighty people to come celebrate. We were

431
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 3: all having a great time until I saw Jake standing

432
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,399
Speaker 3: at the bar looking around. I managed to slip away

433
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,919
Speaker 3: without him seeing me and grab security to get him

434
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 3: escorted out. The area had been roped off for us

435
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 3: as a private function, so I simply told them he

436
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 3: hadn't been invited. I watched as security approached him and

437
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,439
Speaker 3: asked him to leave. He was furious and started yelling,

438
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 3: demanding to talk to me before he would leave. So oh,

439
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 3: he was at a park. This was the baby shower

440
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:47,840
Speaker 3: and he shows up to the baby shower whoa. Sam

441
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,760
Speaker 3: and several friends went over to try and talk him down,

442
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 3: but it only escalated. He screamed at Sam, claimed that

443
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 3: he was the baby's real dad and that we had

444
00:21:55,800 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 3: never really broken up. But it's so I mean, like

445
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:04,240
Speaker 3: honestly really like sad because this isn't true. Yeah, this

446
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 3: is not just like a person who is spotting lies

447
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 3: for the sake of spatting lies or whatever. This is

448
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,280
Speaker 3: a person who's mentally ill. Just doesn't seem like the girlfriend.

449
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 3: The brother's girlfriend gets that.

450
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:15,880
Speaker 2: Boundary.

451
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 3: Theres like I can't blame any of this on the

452
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,240
Speaker 3: guide on Jake because he's literally mentally ill.

453
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 4: Like this is Jess's fault, this really is.

454
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,159
Speaker 3: At this point, I left to hide in the ladies

455
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,360
Speaker 3: room until my mom came to let me know Jake

456
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 3: was gone. He had eventually left after a little more screaming.

457
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,919
Speaker 3: I was mortified. We cut the baby shower short. I

458
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 3: couldn't stop crying. It has now been only a few

459
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 3: days and I've confronted Jess. She's the only person who

460
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 3: would have possibly told him the location and time of

461
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 3: the baby shower. I wasn't as kind on the phone

462
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 3: with her this time. She admitted to telling him and apologized,

463
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 3: but said, how can I keep this a secret from

464
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:55,639
Speaker 3: him by shutting your mouth?

465
00:22:56,119 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 2: Yeah? Also information diet for Jess. Oh my goodness. Yeah,

466
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:01,880
Speaker 2: we're done.

467
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,919
Speaker 3: I was furious and told her that she would no

468
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 3: longer receive any news about me or the baby, and

469
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:07,880
Speaker 3: that I would cut her out of my life. I'm

470
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 3: not proud of it, but I screamed at her. I

471
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 3: couldn't believe how irresponsible she had been. It wasn't her

472
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 3: news to share. My brother called me after and asked

473
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 3: me to forgive her. At least he didn't ask you

474
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 3: to apologize. He knew she was wrong, but he didn't

475
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,400
Speaker 3: think he should also be punished for what she had done.

476
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 3: He knew that by cutting her out, I also wouldn't

477
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 3: be telling him any news about the baby. In part,

478
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 3: he thought I should blame Jake for his reaction and

479
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,399
Speaker 3: not Jess. That she hadn't known he would show up.

480
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 3: The damage was already done and I should let it

481
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,159
Speaker 3: go out. No, we're not blaming the mentally ill person

482
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 3: for the actions that they cannot control. Yeah, this is

483
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 3: I'm sorry chizophrenic and he had a psychotic episode.

484
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not his fault. It is Jess who freaking

485
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,680
Speaker 2: knows that. Yeah, and then was.

486
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, I'm gonna tell him anyway, even though he

487
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 3: has histories as a history of doing this anyway.

488
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, this guy is not thinking like everyone else, so

489
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 2: we should should have blamed that on him. Absolutely not.

490
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 3: I honestly don't blame Jake for what happened. He is

491
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,199
Speaker 3: mentally ill and needs help. It's not his faults, and

492
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 3: I know he will regret all of this when he

493
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,960
Speaker 3: comes back to a more clear headspace. I told his

494
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,119
Speaker 3: family what had happened, and they told me he was

495
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,439
Speaker 3: readmitted to the mental health Ward. Regardless of whether I

496
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 3: think he is at fault, I definitely don't feel safe

497
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 3: with Jake now, course not. I have a child to

498
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 3: think about, and him thinking it is somehow his is

499
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 3: pretty scary. I haven't budged with Jess or my brother.

500
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,679
Speaker 3: My family all think I should forgive her so my

501
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 3: brother can meet his niece and nephew. We don't know

502
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 3: the sex yet, but I just can't trust her. She

503
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 3: already broke my trust once, and I'm furious. I could

504
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 3: have been hurt if Jake had confronted me at the shower.

505
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,919
Speaker 3: So many things could have gone wrong. I don't know

506
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,399
Speaker 3: what to do. I'm heartbroken that my brother may not

507
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 3: get to meet this baby for a while, but I'm

508
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 3: scared that she could tell Jake information about the baby

509
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,760
Speaker 3: that could put us in danger. My parents and other

510
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 3: family members have all agreed not to tell Jess or

511
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 3: my brother any information about the baby upon threat of

512
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 3: also being cut out like this is.

513
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,680
Speaker 4: Your ex, Yeah, just normal circumstances.

514
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 3: Let's take the mental health issues out of this. Stop

515
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 3: telling my ex things about my life.

516
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 2: That'd be nice.

517
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 3: I just don't know how long I can feasibly cut

518
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 3: them out before I crack. Sam's obviously on my side

519
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 3: with all of this. If it wasn't for him, I

520
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 3: would be in a much worse state. Any advice would

521
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 3: be appreciated. I'm finding it hard to stick them up

522
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 3: you pews on this and worry that news we'll leak

523
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 3: to Jess from other family members. My parents were particularly

524
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,760
Speaker 3: hesitant to promise not to tell my brother when the

525
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 3: baby is born. After I twenty seven female, made that post,

526
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 3: I was overwhelmed by the response from everyone. Thank you

527
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 3: for all the amazing advice I received. It definitely put

528
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 3: everything into perspective for me and made me take things

529
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 3: more seriously. I decided I should post an update as

530
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 3: I received a lot of messages asking what happened. I

531
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 3: received a lot of comments doubting the motives of Chess

532
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:04,280
Speaker 3: twenty nine female, and unfortunately, you guys were right. So

533
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 3: I had my baby earlier than anticipated. I'm happy to

534
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 3: announce that Sam thirty Mail and I now have a

535
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 3: beautiful son. He is currently ten weeks old and was

536
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 3: born at thirty eight weeks. We are absolutely smitten with

537
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 3: him and couldn't be happier. Not long after I made

538
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 3: my original post, Sam and I moved into a new house.

539
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 3: We had been living in a one bedroom apartment and

540
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,640
Speaker 3: decided we needed more space for our growing family. Part

541
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,439
Speaker 3: of our decision on our house was that it was

542
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,640
Speaker 3: further away from my brother and Jess. Our apartment had

543
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,919
Speaker 3: only been a five minute drive from them, and I

544
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 3: felt uncomfortable knowing that Jake twenty seven Mail could potentially

545
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 3: be visiting and we could run into him while walking

546
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 3: the dog. I also didn't trust that Jess hadn't told

547
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 3: them where we lived. Our new house is now a

548
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,200
Speaker 3: forty five minute drive away from them, and I feel

549
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 3: much safer. We didn't tell them the location of our

550
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 3: new home. We had been living in our new house

551
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 3: for about a month with no issues. I heard from

552
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 3: Jake's family that he was on an extended mental healthhold

553
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,919
Speaker 3: at the hospital as his psychotic episode was not subsiding

554
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 3: and he refused to take his medication. I also warned

555
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,239
Speaker 3: them about his relationship with Jess, and they seemed to

556
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 3: take it seriously. They said they would keep an eye

557
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 3: on them and told the hospital that she was not

558
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 3: to be allowed visitation with him. Smart because I was

559
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 3: thinking really quick. Not only did she tell Jake that

560
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 3: they were having a baby shower, she told him where

561
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 3: and when she wanted him to come. Oh, my family

562
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 3: stopped pestering me to forgive Jess. My mom had a

563
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 3: heart to heart with me and finally understood why I

564
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 3: had to cut my brother out. I didn't hear anything

565
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,359
Speaker 3: from my brother. Apparently my mom had stepped up and

566
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 3: had a conversation with him about the severity of what

567
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 3: Jess had done. It broke my heart to push my

568
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 3: brother away, as we had been so close. But after

569
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,160
Speaker 3: reading all of your comments, I knew that I had

570
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 3: to be responsible and keep my baby safe. Unfortunately, things

571
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 3: didn't stay so calm. After a few months, I received

572
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 3: a call from Jake, finally been released from the hospital

573
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 3: and was embarrassed about his behavior at the baby shower.

574
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,239
Speaker 3: He told me he knew that the baby wasn't his.

575
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 3: He cried and asked to speak with Sam. He wanted

576
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 3: to personally apologize him. Sam didn't want to talk to him.

577
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 3: I told him I forgave him, I knew it wasn't

578
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 3: his fault, and that we.

579
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:18,199
Speaker 2: Should move on.

580
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 3: I was also very firm with him and told him

581
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,439
Speaker 3: that under no circumstances would I let him around me

582
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 3: or my baby. If he tried to contact us, I

583
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,919
Speaker 3: wouldn't hesitate to call the police. He accepted that.

584
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 2: And our conversation ended.

585
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 3: About two weeks later, Jake showed up at Sam's workplace

586
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 3: demanding to speak with him. They had a short conversation

587
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 3: where Jake broke down in tears and begged to be forgiven.

588
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 3: From what Sam told me, he didn't seem to be stable.

589
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 3: In his apology. He said, I'm so sorry for confronting

590
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 3: you in a public like that. I should have spoken

591
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 3: to you privately. Clearly you didn't know that the baby

592
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 3: isn't yours? And you were humiliated in front of your friend.

593
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 2: Oh dude, Oh man, it's so tough.

594
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 3: To see paraphrasing here, Bless you. Sam didn't want to

595
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 3: provoke him, so he said he accepted his apology and

596
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 3: asked him to leave. Sam then called me to let

597
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 3: me know what had happened. I was shattered. Obviously, Jess

598
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 3: had told him where Sam worked. Can we arrest Jess? Yes?

599
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 2: What is her problem? Well, she hate you, just might

600
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 2: her tongue where she's able to speak Simon to CARSA.

601
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 2: I've seen her happen before. I mean, like, what is

602
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 2: going on?

603
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 3: I'm calling my brother and I'm saying, hey, guess who

604
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 3: showed up at Sam's work today? The only person who

605
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 3: freaking knew where or could have told Jake where Sam

606
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 3: worked was Jess. Don't come near us or I'm going

607
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 3: to call the police. Like I'm finally a restraining order

608
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 3: on you, guys.

609
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 2: I was about to ask what the next move on

610
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 2: that is.

611
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 3: I think it's like you get the law, like you

612
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 3: know the courts involved or something, because this is dangerous.

613
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 3: It also is very very like manipulating Jake to do

614
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 3: Jess's dirty work here.

615
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 2: It's yeah, it's horrible.

616
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 3: I called Jake's family to let them know what had happened.

617
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 3: They told me the next day he hadn't come home

618
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 3: and they were extremely worried. He wasn't meant to be driving,

619
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 3: as his license had been suspended. He had been caught

620
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 3: speeding several times, but he had taken his mom's car

621
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 3: without her permission. A few days later, he was found

622
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 3: by police in a building that was under construction, completely

623
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 3: out of it and confused. He had driven twenty hours

624
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 3: away from our town. He was taken to the local

625
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 3: hospital and placed in their mental health ward. His family

626
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 3: flew up to retrieve him. To this day, I still

627
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 3: haven't heard any updates on Jake. I assume he is

628
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 3: still in a mental health facility. His family always updates

629
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 3: me when he's released. Good that's kind of them. After

630
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 3: all of that, my brother called me and asked if

631
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 3: he could meet up with me for lunch one day.

632
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 3: He sounded upset on the phone, so I agreed. We

633
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 3: met at McDonald's. Then he told me all the crazy

634
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 3: stuff that had happened with Jess. Apparently, when Jake got

635
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 3: out of the hospital following the baby shower, and he

636
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 3: had shown up at their house to see Jess. My

637
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 3: brother was really worried because he could tell that Jake

638
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 3: was in a manic episode. He kept an eye on

639
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 3: Jake while he visited and noticed that he was being

640
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 3: extremely touchy feely with Jess. You started to seem flirty

641
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 3: with him as well in front of your brother.

642
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: Now called that, oh Jess, yeah, I mean, just in

643
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 2: the same boat as him right now.

644
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 3: It made him really uncomfortable, so he made an excuse

645
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 3: about him and Jess needing to go to a friend's house.

646
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 3: When Jake left, he and Jess had a massive fight.

647
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 3: He confronted Jess about the flirty behavior, and she was

648
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 3: extremely defensive. She flat out deny that she had been

649
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 3: flirting or that Jake had been touching her at all.

650
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 3: What he's like watching you guys do it, and you're.

651
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 2: Like, no, no, this is all in your head, man.

652
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 3: My brother decided to drop it. Not long after we

653
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 3: later realized this happened. On the same day that he

654
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,959
Speaker 3: had gone to Sam's workplace, Jake showed up at their

655
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 3: house again, but this time Jess was at work. My

656
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 3: brother works from home. Jake told him that he was

657
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,080
Speaker 3: in love with Jess, confessed that they had been sleeping

658
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 3: together and showed him a bunch of text messages between

659
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 3: the two of them to prove that he wasn't making

660
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 3: this up. My brother asked him to leave. When Jess

661
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 3: got home, he confronted her. At first, she tried to

662
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 3: deny it, but eventually confessed. She begged my brother to

663
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 3: forgive her. She had realized after his outburst at the

664
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 3: baby shower that she didn't love him. My brother was

665
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 3: furious and told her to stay with her parents for

666
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 3: a while. Ever since then, he hasn't heard from her.

667
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 3: It's been months now, and it looks like things are

668
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 3: over between the two of them. I mean, how did

669
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 3: your brother like he was just making so many excuses

670
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 3: for her, Like clearly.

671
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 2: She was in the wrong.

672
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 3: My brother feels terrible about what Jess did to me.

673
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 3: Although I want to let him back into my life fully,

674
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 3: I still don't trust that he won't eventually get back

675
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 3: together with Jess. The two of them haven't officially broken up.

676
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 3: How have they not officially broken up? This is not

677
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 3: them getting divorced? How are they still together?

678
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 4: Once?

679
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 3: And until that day comes, I won't be sharing my

680
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 3: address or photos of our son with him. So far,

681
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 3: my brother has met our son once at my parents' house.

682
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 3: By the way, you can come meet up with us

683
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 3: all the time if you listen to full episodes of

684
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 3: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

685
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 3: or iHeartRadio and search a booky story time. But there

686
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 3: is a little bit left to this story, Keon, Do

687
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 3: you have any thoughts?

688
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 2: Yes? Nice, Oh well, I'll share my thoughts.

689
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 3: I mean, it's good that your brother finally realized, you know,

690
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 3: that Jess was not a good person. But it's frustrating

691
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 3: that it took Jess affecting their relationship rather than you

692
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 3: being affected, to finally realize that she was a problem.

693
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 3: But I think it's a good idea to, like not

694
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 3: necessarily give him any more contact with you or your

695
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 3: family until he's fully cut off from Jess, because the

696
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 3: fact that they're not a officially broken up is very

697
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 3: weird to me.

698
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 2: It is it is, and it's time to move out

699
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 2: of Crazyville, if you ask me, That's what I'm doing.

700
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,399
Speaker 3: I also feel like just this very predatory of Jake,

701
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,919
Speaker 3: you know, of just using him to go mess with you,

702
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 3: of knowing that he has these mental breaks, but there

703
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 3: is a little bit left to this story. I still

704
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 3: don't know why Jess decided to tell Jake about my pregnancy,

705
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,760
Speaker 3: but I'm so glad she isn't in our lives anymore.

706
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 3: I haven't heard anything from her or Jake since I'm

707
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,359
Speaker 3: constantly worried he could show up again. I've developed some

708
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 3: strange OCD behaviors after it all, needing to check that

709
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 3: all our doors are locked five times and touching all

710
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 3: of the windows in her house before I can go

711
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 3: to sleep. Other than that, things have been peaceful so far,

712
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 3: and Sam and I have been able to enjoy our

713
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 3: new life as parents.

714
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 4: That's good.

715
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, you do enjoy it, honestly. Maybe restraining order and Jess,

716
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 2: you're gonna have to, yeah, because these people are direct

717
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,839
Speaker 2: threats and is messing with your mental clarity. And I

718
00:34:57,920 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 2: really hope you find peace. You deserve that.

719
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,880
Speaker 3: Hopefully, now that the baby's out, you got this spoonderful

720
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 3: relationship with Sam, we can move into a new stage

721
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 3: of life and sing Jess and Jake behind John Here.

722
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to this juicy story.

723
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 1: But a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

724
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,320
Speaker 4: My sister abandoned her son.

725
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 2: I don't want her to come back.

726
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 3: If you abandon your son, I'm abandoning you.

727
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 4: My entire family seems to be torn, and I feel

728
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 4: like everybody is making good points. I want to do

729
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 4: what is best for my nephew in the situation. I'm

730
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 4: going to try to give you guys the black and

731
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 4: white version of this. I want you guys to give

732
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 4: me honest advice. I want to make sure that I

733
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 4: am not letting my emotions harm my nephew or stop

734
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 4: him from doing something that he should. By the way,

735
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 4: this comes from question feisty ninety five eighty three, and

736
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,320
Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

737
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 4: the r slash okay story times suppreddit. So this story

738
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 4: may be a little confusing because I have to tell

739
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,359
Speaker 4: you guys what happened six years ago. First, I will

740
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 4: use fake names for this post. I was twenty two female,

741
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,799
Speaker 4: now twenty eight. My sister Abby was thirty now thirty six.

742
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 4: My nephew, Sammy, was fourteen, now twenty, and my boyfriend

743
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,359
Speaker 4: was twenty three now twenty nine, and my husband. Six

744
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 4: years ago, Sammy lost his childhood best friend. These boys

745
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 4: were so close that LJ. Would come with us on

746
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:14,959
Speaker 4: family vacations. They had known each other since they were three,

747
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 4: and people would think that they were twins. LJ passed

748
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 4: away in a car accident when he and his father

749
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 4: were hit by a wasted driver. Oh my goodness, I'll

750
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 4: be honest, it hurt. I felt like I lost a nephew.

751
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,720
Speaker 4: LJ and Sammy would spend the night at my house

752
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 4: all the time when one of their moms had to work.

753
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 4: Sammy was understandably distraught. Abby would tell you that he

754
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 4: started to act out, But I don't see it that way.

755
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 2: Yes, he acted differently, but.

756
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 4: I feel like every parent here would have given a pass.

757
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,360
Speaker 4: Here's a list of the things that Sammy did that

758
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 4: Abby couldn't handle. His grades dropped from all a's to

759
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 4: b's and c's with mostly bees. He would skip one

760
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 4: of his classes to go hide in the library because

761
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 4: the teacher made a memorial for LJ and he couldn't

762
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 4: handle seeing it every day. This was also within the

763
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 4: first week of his passing. Oh my gosh.

764
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:58,280
Speaker 2: He didn't want to play.

765
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,959
Speaker 4: Basketball anymore because it reminded him of LGE. He later

766
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 4: told me that it made him so sad to think

767
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 4: of all the plays that they made together. I know

768
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 4: I'm not a mom, and Abby would always say I

769
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 4: would have understood if I was one, But I still

770
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,360
Speaker 4: feel like Sammy was a kid who lost his brother. Basically,

771
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 4: three months after LJ passed, Abby and Sammy showed up

772
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 4: at my house. Sammy was crying and had a bag

773
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,280
Speaker 4: with him, and Abby told me that either I could

774
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 4: get him or.

775
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 2: She would drop him off on the street. What.

776
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,240
Speaker 4: I told him to go to my guest bedroom because

777
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 4: I didn't think that he should hear that stuff. That night,

778
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,359
Speaker 4: I tried to talk to Abby. I asked her what

779
00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 4: was going on. At this point, I told Abby that

780
00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 4: I thought losing LJ affected her too. LJ used to

781
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 4: call her his second mom. Abby ignored me and left

782
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 4: my home. Oh wow, Sammy moved in with me, and

783
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,280
Speaker 4: it was hard. For a while. Abby just moved away.

784
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 4: She stopped responding to my messages or calls. She would

785
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,879
Speaker 4: call our parents, but she would hang up if they

786
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 4: mentioned Sammy or me. She went no contact with all

787
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 4: of us. Oh wow, what's going on?

788
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 2: Oh?

789
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 4: Oh? Oh?

790
00:37:58,640 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 2: Going on?

791
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: Now?

792
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 4: I'm unsure if this is true, but I believe it is.

793
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,359
Speaker 4: A few days after Sammy moved in. I asked him

794
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 4: what happened with his mom that night. He looked me

795
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 4: in the eyes and told me that Abby said the wrong.

796
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:15,320
Speaker 4: Boy passed away that night. My stomach is d disgusting.

797
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's not your mom.

798
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 3: That's not his mom, that own son. No, that's not

799
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 3: his mom, you're his mom.

800
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:23,240
Speaker 2: No.

801
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 3: Oh.

802
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 4: Now Abby denies this, but six years later, Sammy will

803
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 4: still say it word for word.

804
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 2: You don't forget that. Oh.

805
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,919
Speaker 3: There are certain moments where someone says something to you

806
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 3: because memory is flawed. Memory is something that is changeable,

807
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 3: Like it's not fact sure, but there are certain phrases

808
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 3: and words that people will say to you that are

809
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 3: so deeply impactful that you will never forget.

810
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, well, if you don't remember, it clearly didn't

811
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 4: mean as much to you as it did to the

812
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 4: person who said it. Too.

813
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:52,760
Speaker 2: Abby changes her story.

814
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 4: At first it was that she would never say anything

815
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:59,400
Speaker 4: like that. Then it was Sammy was overreacting. Then it

816
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 4: was that it's too long ago for me to remember. Again,

817
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 4: I don't want to say something happens that I'm unsure of,

818
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 4: but I one hundred percent believe my nephew, my husband,

819
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,040
Speaker 4: my boyfriend at the time helped me to take care of.

820
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 2: Him, and we put Sammy in therapy.

821
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 4: It was hard. I felt like I became the mom

822
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 4: of a teenager overnight. My parents tried to help, but

823
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 4: it was a lot for all of us. Currently, Sammy

824
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 4: has gone to college and just finished his second year.

825
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,879
Speaker 4: Sammy got an amazing internship, and my husband and I

826
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 4: threw him a big party in early May. Abby showed up,

827
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 4: saying how proud of her boy she was. Sammy just

828
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,240
Speaker 4: stared at her before walking away. She spent the entire

829
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 4: party telling his friends and everyone else how she raised

830
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 4: such a fine young man. After the party, Sammy told

831
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 4: her he never wanted to see her again and that

832
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 4: he didn't have a mom. Now this is where I'm torn.

833
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 4: Some of my family feels like Abby deserves the second chance,

834
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 4: but I don't. I don't want to let my feelings

835
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 4: hold Sammy back, but I really don't think she deserves it.

836
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 4: I remember calling my sister for weeks trying to get

837
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,319
Speaker 4: her to talk to her son. I remember when her

838
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 4: son broke his arm and I texted that he was

839
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 4: in the er. And I remember his first date. I

840
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 4: remember when he graduated high school. I remember driving him

841
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 4: to college. I remember my husband teaching him how to drive.

842
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 4: I remember every time I tried to contact her, she

843
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,839
Speaker 4: had more than one chance. My mom believes that I

844
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 4: am afraid of losing my maternal role in Sammy's life.

845
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 4: But that's not it.

846
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 2: You couldn't.

847
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 4: I have always kept the mindset that I'm an aunt.

848
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 4: It's just when you have a fourteen year old cry

849
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 4: to you because his mom won't answer his calls and

850
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:32,320
Speaker 4: ask you why she doesn't love him, that changes your mind.

851
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 4: Should I encourage Sammy to see his mom? Also? As

852
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 4: an add on, Sammy doesn't want to deal with her

853
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 4: at all, but my mom believes that if I encourage it,

854
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 4: he will. Abby is also asking me to help her

855
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 4: reconnect with Sammy. And there is an edit. I have

856
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,080
Speaker 4: a quick edit to make. I apologize if this is

857
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 4: incoherent because I am pissed. Long story short, my mom

858
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 4: called Sammy this morning asking if he would fix something

859
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:54,320
Speaker 4: on her smart TV.

860
00:40:54,520 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 3: No no no, no no no.

861
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 4: No oh, but he agreed to do it before he

862
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 4: came over here for dinner.

863
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:03,879
Speaker 2: To trap him.

864
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, my mom and Abby bombarded him. I am pissed

865
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 4: already about this But that's not the worst part. The

866
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,200
Speaker 4: worst effing part is that I thought Abby came back

867
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 4: because she was remorseful or regretted everything. But no, Abby

868
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 4: was engaged to a man who has a nine year

869
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 4: old daughter. Apparently, when the guy found out that she

870
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 4: abandoned Sammy, he called.

871
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 3: It off, and yes he should. I don't feel bad.

872
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 2: For you at all.

873
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 3: This is not a person who deserves, like for her

874
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:38,319
Speaker 3: the audacity to abandon her son and then only come

875
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 3: back into his life when she needs him to look

876
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 3: better in the eyes of her fiance.

877
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, she just is trying to marry this person and

878
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,360
Speaker 4: this is like the final step.

879
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 2: He is a step in her plan and that's it.

880
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 4: That's despicable. She only wants to bring Sammy around so

881
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 4: that he can pretend his mom was always in his life.

882
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 4: The guy said that he couldn't marry a person who

883
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:02,879
Speaker 4: would just abandon her son.

884
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 2: That's right.

885
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I am trying my best to be respectful to

886
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 4: my mom, but I could honestly cuss her out. It

887
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:11,520
Speaker 4: is taking all of my power to not drive to

888
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 4: her house right now. And there is an update, but

889
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 4: oh my goodness, oh my goodness, I thought that would

890
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 4: just be a quick, little like clarification thing, but that

891
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 4: was like a whole update in itself.

892
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

893
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, like, no, you don't need to

894
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 4: encourage yeah, and.

895
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 2: Then they do. Anyway, I think that I was gonna say.

896
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 3: It was also, no, you could if you wanted to

897
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 3: go to him and say if you want to ever

898
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 3: see your more. I'm not going to, you know, say

899
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 3: anything against that, but I also support you and your

900
00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,319
Speaker 3: decision to not ever want to see her.

901
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 2: Yeah.

902
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 4: I mean he's twenty now, twenty, so that is it's not.

903
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:45,839
Speaker 2: A child he's keeping him from his mom. He can

904
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:46,840
Speaker 2: do whatever he wants.

905
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he also needs to know that, you know,

906
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 3: you're always there for him in a way that his

907
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 3: mom has never been exactly Exactly honestly, I would say

908
00:42:55,840 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 3: like limiting contact with your own mom. Yeah, I want

909
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 3: the's mom to like really know what's going on, because

910
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 3: it feels like she doesn't.

911
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I'm just like, what is this. I don't know,

912
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:07,840
Speaker 4: but we do have an update. I would like to

913
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 4: thank you all for your messages. Sammy and I sat

914
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 4: down and went through each message to help us both

915
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 4: know that we made the right choice.

916
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,240
Speaker 2: I want to answer a few questions.

917
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 4: A lot of people wanted to know why I was

918
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 4: doubting my decision to not support Abby's and Sammy's reunion.

919
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 4: The answer is that I have had two miscarriages in

920
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,440
Speaker 4: the past three years. Oh wow, and after the second one,

921
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 4: my husband and I decided to stop trying. Every time

922
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 4: I would bring up how my sister abandoned Sammy, my

923
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 4: mom would say things like, you will never understand what

924
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 4: it's like to be a mom, or you'll understand if

925
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,399
Speaker 4: you ever have kids, and she would punt me while

926
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 4: I was down. I know it's weak, but those moments

927
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 4: would make me shut up. She would also say I

928
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 4: was keeping Sammy from Abby because I could never be

929
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 4: a real mom and was scared.

930
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,759
Speaker 2: That she would take him. I let all of that

931
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 2: get to me.

932
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 4: People also asked about Sammy's dad.

933
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 2: I never met the guy. I don't know if my

934
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 2: sister knows who he is.

935
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 4: Honestly, she used to say that they met at a game,

936
00:43:58,320 --> 00:43:59,879
Speaker 4: but again, I never met him.

937
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 2: Now the update.

938
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 4: This morning, my husband, Sammy, and I decided to go

939
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 4: to my mother's house. Before we went, I showed Sammy

940
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 4: this post, and he wants to say thank you.

941
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 2: To all of you.

942
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,800
Speaker 4: My family was starting to get to him as well,

943
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 4: and hearing other people, especially parents, say that what his

944
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 4: mom did was unforgivable, helped him a lot. Sammy is

945
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 4: in therapy and has been since he was about fifteen.

946
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 4: The very first thing I noticed when we arrived was

947
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 4: how little Abby interacted with Sammy. At the party, Abby

948
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 4: kept trying to touch him or talk to him, et cetera.

949
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 4: But this morning she looked up and that was it.

950
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 4: It made me feel like she's only a mom when

951
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,319
Speaker 4: others are around. My mom immediately started asking if we

952
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,360
Speaker 4: wanted to get over the past and become a family.

953
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 3: No, they're both your mom and your freaking sister. Yeah,

954
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 3: are both moms when it looks good, Yeah, when they

955
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,240
Speaker 3: want something exactly, it's these are not moms.

956
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 2: You are a mother. Yeah.

957
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,840
Speaker 4: And it's not the past anymore. Like it's still happening

958
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 4: because she still doesn't want to come back for the

959
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 4: right reasons. No, just trying to desperately get some sort

960
00:44:58,120 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 4: of marriage to work out.

961
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:01,760
Speaker 3: The fact that either of them said I can't remember

962
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 3: which one, but like, whoever said that you weren't a

963
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:09,240
Speaker 3: mother is ridiculous, ridiculous motherhood is not simply giving birth.

964
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 3: It is raising the child. Yeah, loving that child. Yeah,

965
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 3: no matter you know the circumstances, no matter if they

966
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 3: get a B or a C like, that's not There

967
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,760
Speaker 3: are no conditions in loving your child.

968
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, Sammy said that Abby, he refuses to call her

969
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 4: mom had to at least apologize. Abby dared to say,

970
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 4: I didn't do anything wrong, you were horrible. I am

971
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 4: normally a calm person, but this time I saw red.

972
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 4: I immediately stood between them to tell her that she

973
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 4: was a horrible mom who barely deserved to be called,

974
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 4: that he lost his best friend. He can miss a

975
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 4: few answers on a test. Abby also tried to pull

976
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 4: that you will never be a mom, and I pulled

977
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,600
Speaker 4: out my phone to find this thread. I searched every

978
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 4: message that detailed how horrible she.

979
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 2: And my mom was.

980
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 4: Abby threatened to make her own post to expose the truth.

981
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 4: Side note, Jamie, my sister's real name. I dare you

982
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 4: to tell these people the truth. Make a post trying

983
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 4: to excuse abandoning your fourteen year old in a moment

984
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,280
Speaker 4: when he needed you the most, and how you only

985
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 4: want to come back because your ex fiance refused to

986
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,680
Speaker 4: marry such a monster. Sammy also said that if he

987
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,880
Speaker 4: finds out that she made a post on her, he

988
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 4: will make a post and include screenshots of all the

989
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:25,240
Speaker 4: times he texted and called her and got no response.

990
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 4: At this point, I thought I was getting through to

991
00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:30,360
Speaker 4: my mom. She was starting to read every message and

992
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 4: was realizing how she was enabling my sister. But my

993
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 4: sister immediately went, you exposed my business on the internet,

994
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 4: and my mom immediately started to braate me. At this point,

995
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 4: my husband spoke up. He told my mom that she

996
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 4: wasn't welcomed into this house and told my sister that

997
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 4: if she contacted his son again, he would press charges.

998
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:51,360
Speaker 2: Boom yoo.

999
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 4: Sammy also added that if his mom contacted him ever again,

1000
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,280
Speaker 4: he would find her ex online and tell him everything.

1001
00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 2: Good. By the way, you can always find us online.

1002
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 4: Just go to Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple podcast search. Okay, storytime,

1003
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 4: we're gonna find full episodes with more stories just like

1004
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:08,439
Speaker 4: this one.

1005
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:09,360
Speaker 2: Ain't that the truth?

1006
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 4: Get on over there? But oh my gosh, there's a

1007
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,799
Speaker 4: little bit more to the story. But how we feel it?

1008
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 4: Any final thoughts before we move on? My final thought

1009
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 4: is you are a mother. You mean, regardless of your mother,

1010
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 4: regardless of.

1011
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 3: Whether or not you gave birth to Sammy, you raised

1012
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:28,880
Speaker 3: him and you cared for him. You still care for

1013
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,480
Speaker 3: him and his mother and your mother don't know how

1014
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:31,840
Speaker 3: to do that.

1015
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1016
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 4: Absolutely, Like Sophia was saying earlier, like, it's more than

1017
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:36,840
Speaker 4: just giving birth.

1018
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 2: You are his mother. That man is his father.

1019
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 4: You know, whether it's like legal or not, you have

1020
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 4: been taking care of him, especially when he was literally

1021
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 4: abandoned by you.

1022
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 2: So but there is a little bit abandoned by his mom. Yeah.

1023
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, long story short. We are all going no contact

1024
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,360
Speaker 4: with my mom and sister, as well as anyone else

1025
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 4: who tries to give us messages from them. My mom

1026
00:47:57,760 --> 00:47:59,839
Speaker 4: already tried to convince my dad to make me talk

1027
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 4: to them. Jamie and I have different fathers, but he

1028
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 4: cussed them out. I talked to Sammy about everything, and

1029
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:07,800
Speaker 4: he did admit that this all felt like a setback.

1030
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 4: He felt like he only mattered to his mom because

1031
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 4: she needed something. He will be talking to his therapist

1032
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 4: about that. My husband and I are thinking about moving,

1033
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 4: and this, of course will take some time. We always

1034
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 4: planned on moving, but we didn't want to force Sammy

1035
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 4: to change schools, especially when he got to high school.

1036
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 4: I just want to say thank you all again. You

1037
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 4: guys helped me realize that I was allowing my mom

1038
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 4: and sister to take my miscarriage and use it to

1039
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 4: make me a flying monkey. I know I didn't give

1040
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,759
Speaker 4: birth to Sammy, but to me, he is my son

1041
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:38,280
Speaker 4: and that is the end. Oh my gosh, shah, Happy

1042
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 4: Mother's Day a day.

1043
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 2: This is a mother's Day story. Hey, it's sam og host.

1044
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to these delectable stories. But

1045
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,399
Speaker 2: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to help

1046
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 2: support the show.

1047
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:52,360
Speaker 3: My parents gave my sister a huge wedding gift but

1048
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 3: completely ignored mine.

1049
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 4: Well that's just not fair, is it.

1050
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 3: I'm the eldest of three female twenty eight, female twenty two,

1051
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 3: and male twenty My siblings have had an entirely different

1052
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:06,279
Speaker 3: childhood than mine. I was dubbed the problem child and

1053
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,160
Speaker 3: frequently butted heads with my mom.

1054
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 2: Mostly.

1055
00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:11,360
Speaker 3: I left home at seventeen and never looked back. My

1056
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 3: parents kept my siblings from me out of spite and

1057
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 3: because they didn't want me corrupting them. By the way,

1058
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:18,320
Speaker 3: this comes from fighting Darwin and if you would a

1059
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 3: sbmit your own stories go to the r slash Okay,

1060
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:23,279
Speaker 3: Storytime suppered it. So for the record, I was not

1061
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 3: a bad kid by any stretch of the imagination. I

1062
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,840
Speaker 3: just had very physically and emotionally harmful parents. My sister

1063
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 3: and I have begun to become close since she hit

1064
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 3: about sixteen or seventeen and had a little more freedom.

1065
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 3: My sister recently had an unplanned baby nine months ago

1066
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 3: and is getting married next month, which I am not

1067
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 3: exactly supportive of, because she and her fiance have many

1068
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 3: problems they think marriage will magically fix, and a baby,

1069
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 3: of course, which the baby didn't fix but was supposed

1070
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 3: to do whatever. It's not my life, though I have

1071
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:54,240
Speaker 3: voiced my concerns to her and was waved off fine,

1072
00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:57,319
Speaker 3: her life not my business. My husband and I got

1073
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 3: married two and a half years ago, and I've been

1074
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 3: together for a li eleven years. My parents argued with

1075
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 3: me about the entire thing, made me cry many times,

1076
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,360
Speaker 3: and were awkward and embarrassing at the actual wedding, and

1077
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 3: they never once congratulated us and couldn't even be bothered

1078
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 3: to give us a card. Subsequent visits with the parents

1079
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 3: had my dad mentioned something about a wedding present soon,

1080
00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:20,799
Speaker 3: but there was never any follow through, and I never

1081
00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 3: asked because they'd flaked on me a lot before. I've

1082
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 3: mentioned to my sister that their actions hurt me, and

1083
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 3: she was sympathetic. Yesterday, we were discussing wedding plans and

1084
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 3: she told me that Mom and dad ad gifted them

1085
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 3: an early present in the form of a check or

1086
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,000
Speaker 3: ten k. I'm very hurt, and I wish she hadn't

1087
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 3: told me. I haven't mentioned it to my husband yet

1088
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 3: because frankly, as much as I know they sk and

1089
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 3: are unfair, it makes me feel really broken that I

1090
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,760
Speaker 3: can't even have a normal, loving family like he does.

1091
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 3: And I know he hates it when my parents make

1092
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,880
Speaker 3: me feel unloved unless that I am very low contact

1093
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:54,280
Speaker 3: with my parents anyway, but I can feel the urge

1094
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,880
Speaker 3: to withdraw, even from my sister, even though she has

1095
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 3: done nothing wrong. It's not about the money, but the fire,

1096
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 3: the undisputed evidence that they don't care for me at

1097
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 3: all that really hurts. And I don't know how to

1098
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,880
Speaker 3: deal with those feelings or how to stay friendly with

1099
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 3: my sister right now without ruining this for her. That's tricky.

1100
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 3: I mean, it's not your sister's fault.

1101
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 2: M M.

1102
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,919
Speaker 3: But I think it's a problem with you and your parents. Yeah,

1103
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 3: it's you and your parents.

1104
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1105
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 3: And you can potentially, if you're close with your sister,

1106
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,840
Speaker 3: you could be like, yeah, I'm a little upset, like

1107
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:24,800
Speaker 3: this is not at all your fault, right, you know,

1108
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 3: I'm a little upset because mom and dad like didn't

1109
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 3: give me anything, and it's not again, not anything to

1110
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:30,799
Speaker 3: do with you.

1111
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1112
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:33,959
Speaker 3: I just don't know how to approach that conversation with them,

1113
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 3: and I feel like our relationship is really complicated, So

1114
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 3: just approaching it from like our relationship with my mom

1115
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 3: and dad, not your relationship with your sibling.

1116
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:42,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1117
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, common one. I think this is a sign for

1118
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 3: you to go no contact with your parents. They only

1119
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 3: bring you sadness, stay in contact with your sister, tell

1120
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 3: her you don't want anything to do with your parents.

1121
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 3: Opie says, Yes, I think this is the way to go.

1122
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:57,799
Speaker 3: I will wait until after the wedding, as I don't

1123
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 3: want my sister to feel badly or distress herself out

1124
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 3: even more. I know she feels bad because she kind

1125
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:07,319
Speaker 3: of blurted it out with a forewarning to not be offended. Reply, Yes,

1126
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 3: your parents, but your sisters too. If she had to say,

1127
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 3: don't get offended before telling you something, she knew she

1128
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 3: was going to hurt your feelings and didn't really care.

1129
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:18,320
Speaker 3: She knows your situation, she knows how you would feel,

1130
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 3: she knows how they treat you. Why would she even

1131
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 3: bring it up? Is this information relevant to you or

1132
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 3: benefit you in any way? I'm sorry, ope, but if

1133
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 3: I were you, I would re evaluate my relationship with her.

1134
00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 3: Comment two says, you're over five years older than your sister,

1135
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 3: so maybe your parents are in a different financial situation

1136
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:36,440
Speaker 3: than when you got married, or maybe they felt like

1137
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 3: she needed it to have a wedding. I bring the

1138
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 3: age up because a similar thing happened to my family

1139
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 3: and caused problems. The reason was because my parents were

1140
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 3: more well off financially for the younger sibling. Opie says

1141
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:48,880
Speaker 3: that is a fair point, but nothing has changed in

1142
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 3: their financial situation in the last two years. Same job,

1143
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:55,279
Speaker 3: same house, no financial windfalls. Sister and fiance have a

1144
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 3: lot of debt and spending about twice what we did

1145
00:52:57,719 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 3: for our weddings, so that could be part of it.

1146
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,880
Speaker 3: There is an update. Any thoughts before we jump in.

1147
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 4: I mean, that is a good like question about the parents'

1148
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 4: financial situation.

1149
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 2: But I still wouldn't blame the sister.

1150
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 4: No, I still yeah, I wouldn't be mad at her

1151
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:14,279
Speaker 4: for being like, I know this is gonna set you,

1152
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,040
Speaker 4: and I'm gonna talk to you anyway. I mean, it

1153
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:18,879
Speaker 4: depends on how the sister approached it, but I think

1154
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,760
Speaker 4: it is important for ope you to know it's relevant information.

1155
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, yeah, our parents.

1156
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:25,720
Speaker 4: Are kind of playing favorites, right, Like maybe the sister

1157
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,360
Speaker 4: is like aware of that and be like, hey, don't

1158
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 4: get offended, but like they gave me this money, you

1159
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:33,440
Speaker 4: know what I mean. It's like, well I am, but

1160
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,400
Speaker 4: not by you. Yeah. I feel like they can like

1161
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 4: band together together. Well you could do that, or you

1162
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 4: could come to the parents and be like, Yo, I

1163
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 4: got married, where's my money, where's my money?

1164
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:47,120
Speaker 2: Where's my money? Man? Update.

1165
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 3: I appreciated all the responses on my previous post. There

1166
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 3: was some very helpful and eye opening points made by

1167
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 3: many kind people. I've gone fully no contact with my

1168
00:53:57,560 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 3: parents now, and I've asked both my sister and brother

1169
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:03,480
Speaker 3: to be passing along information about mine and my husband's lives,

1170
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 3: which they both agreed to. The wedding reception was a

1171
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,279
Speaker 3: bit of a disaster, but my sister says she had

1172
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 3: a great time, and I guess that's all that's important.

1173
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 3: The bridal party were all great people and had been

1174
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:16,560
Speaker 3: forewarned about the parental shenanigans that were sure to ensue,

1175
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 3: and so we're ready to head off anything that Mom

1176
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 3: might have pulled to ruin things. We got in the

1177
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:23,560
Speaker 3: day before and headed to the versal, which was supposed

1178
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 3: to be just the wedding party and wedding planners, but

1179
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 3: my mom decided to crash that with her friends in

1180
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 3: tow I pretty much ignored her the entire evening and

1181
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:33,760
Speaker 3: did my best to help my sister, who was stressing

1182
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:36,080
Speaker 3: out because Mom was throwing a fit about the seating

1183
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:39,239
Speaker 3: arrangement and how things didn't look like how she envisioned it,

1184
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:41,680
Speaker 3: et cetera, et cetera. Day of the wedding went smoothly

1185
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 3: through the ceremony, then a snag with the photos because

1186
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 3: sister didn't take photos of my mom and her friends,

1187
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:50,439
Speaker 3: who she kept calling our family despite knowing them all

1188
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 3: for maybe three years. Mom then cornered the photographer and

1189
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 3: made him take photos of her and her girl and

1190
00:54:56,719 --> 00:55:00,720
Speaker 3: various poses. Sister was just like whatever, since she already

1191
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:03,959
Speaker 3: got the pictures she wanted. Dinner happened, then speeches, where

1192
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,799
Speaker 3: my parents both caught up and made a speech about

1193
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 3: how excited to finally have a son in law that aligned.

1194
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 2: With their views.

1195
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 3: Blah blah went views when ope already is married to

1196
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:16,920
Speaker 3: someone so overall much less embarrassing than the one they

1197
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 3: had at our wedding, where they mentioned things like dowries

1198
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:21,879
Speaker 3: in implying that I was their property to hand over,

1199
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 3: never mind the fact that they had nothing to do

1200
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:26,319
Speaker 3: with me as an adult. The reception was going well

1201
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:28,879
Speaker 3: until my sister, who had wasted about three times more

1202
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:30,799
Speaker 3: than she had eaten the whole day, tripped on her

1203
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 3: dress and face planted, giving herself a mild concussion and

1204
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:36,359
Speaker 3: a fractured cheek butt.

1205
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:38,800
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, sheing medically trained.

1206
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:40,399
Speaker 3: I looked her over and went to get an ice

1207
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 3: back slash cold water and had sat her in a

1208
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:45,440
Speaker 3: quiet corner to settle her nerves. By the time I

1209
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:48,160
Speaker 3: got back, Mom was full on screaming at my sister

1210
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 3: about how wasted she was, how she was embarrassing, she

1211
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:53,000
Speaker 3: was a bad mother. Because my niece had been handed

1212
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 3: around throughout the night the relatives who wanted to have

1213
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,880
Speaker 3: some baby snuggles, and where was my niece anyway? How

1214
00:55:57,880 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 3: could she not be attending to the baby?

1215
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 4: Blah blah, that's her wedding Jesus girl.

1216
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 3: Niece was sleeping in her stroller and being checked on

1217
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:06,400
Speaker 3: by myself, my husband, and the wedding planners in the

1218
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:09,040
Speaker 3: venue's kitchen. At this point, I was interjecting and trying

1219
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 3: to tell my mom to back off, that the baby

1220
00:56:11,560 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 3: was fine and my sister needed to rest, and Mom

1221
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 3: decided to jump down my throat and scream at me

1222
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 3: for something I didn't really need to listen to her.

1223
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:22,319
Speaker 3: When I told her she needed to get out of

1224
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:24,720
Speaker 3: my face right now and walk away, she kept getting

1225
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 3: up in my space and screaming more whoa, whoa, whoa.

1226
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 2: I can't be doing that. Get out of my face,

1227
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 2: Get out of my face.

1228
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 4: Nice.

1229
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:37,279
Speaker 3: Then when I tried to walk away, she started attacking me,

1230
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:41,800
Speaker 3: scratching my arms and attempting to slap me.

1231
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:46,800
Speaker 2: She's like, what is what this is? The mom? Yeah? Huh.

1232
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,280
Speaker 3: I was a little dazed, and my husband had noticed

1233
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:51,960
Speaker 3: and come over quickly and separated her and told her

1234
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:55,239
Speaker 3: to go. Dad just stood by and watched this all.

1235
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 3: Then had the audacity to tell my husband not to

1236
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,839
Speaker 3: get involved and then bring up a phone call from

1237
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 3: four years ago when my husband had called them after

1238
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 3: my mom made me cry about wedding plans and told

1239
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:08,239
Speaker 3: them nicely to go f themselves.

1240
00:57:08,360 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 4: What.

1241
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:11,480
Speaker 3: We just walked away from him and went to sit

1242
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 3: at our table, and my husband tried to console me.

1243
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 3: The other bridesmaids, groomsmen, and groom were checking on my sister.

1244
00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:20,560
Speaker 3: We watched his mom gathered her posse and my poor

1245
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 3: grandmother and left the reception fuming. Other guests also began

1246
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 3: to trickle out at this point, and soon it was

1247
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:28,680
Speaker 3: just the wedding party and planners left of the reception.

1248
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:32,520
Speaker 3: This is a crazy wedny, this really is. Since sorry, yeah,

1249
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 3: I know, I mean this is your sister's wedding. Ye yeah,

1250
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:38,000
Speaker 3: well yes, sir. Since then, I've not breathed a word

1251
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:40,440
Speaker 3: to my parents. My sister and brother have both been

1252
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:43,160
Speaker 3: asked not to divulge anything about me to them, a

1253
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 3: says my grandmother, whom I speak too frequently, and all

1254
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 3: are agreeable and understand.

1255
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 2: That's good. You've got to support system. Still, yeah, that's good.

1256
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 3: My sister has been in regular contact with them, I guess,

1257
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:57,400
Speaker 3: and according to her, my parents expect an apology from

1258
00:57:57,400 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 3: me for embarrassing them in front of all their friends.

1259
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 3: I'm sure to them, screaming at your sister wasn't embarrassing

1260
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 3: at all.

1261
00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, why are the friends more important than their blood?

1262
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 2: They don't care.

1263
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:11,280
Speaker 3: The thing is like, yeah, they gave your sister ten k. Yeah,

1264
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 3: but they care about your sister as much as they

1265
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 3: care about you. It just looks different because it's showing

1266
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 3: up in a different way.

1267
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 4: I wonder if she's had these friends for three years

1268
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:24,200
Speaker 4: and OP got married five years ago. Well, I actually

1269
00:58:24,200 --> 00:58:25,480
Speaker 4: don't know if it was five years ago. That's just

1270
00:58:25,480 --> 00:58:28,240
Speaker 4: their age difference. But I wonder if they weren't friends

1271
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:30,560
Speaker 4: back then. Yeah, and now she is friends with them,

1272
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 4: She's like, oh, I have to like look good in

1273
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,240
Speaker 4: front of my friends exactly and make this general's donation.

1274
00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:38,320
Speaker 3: I'm not sure what mental gymnastics they did to arrive

1275
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:40,600
Speaker 3: at that point, but what can you do? But you

1276
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 3: don't have to do any sort of mental gymnastics to

1277
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 3: listen to full episodes with stories just like this. Just

1278
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:49,840
Speaker 3: go to Spotify, Apple podcast or iHeartRadio and search a

1279
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:52,800
Speaker 3: pokey story time. There is a wee bit left to

1280
00:58:52,920 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 3: this story. Any final thoughts.

1281
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 4: This feels like those like slapstick comedy sitcoms, you know,

1282
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 4: where it's like people are falling out over people start yelling,

1283
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 4: and then it's he's supposed.

1284
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:05,080
Speaker 2: To be my wedding day. Oh yeah, she's just trying

1285
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 2: to get married man. Yeah, just let her be.

1286
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,360
Speaker 3: Josh in the chat says, why is the sister still

1287
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 3: in contact with the parents. The only way that I

1288
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 3: can explain this is gonna sound silly, but here's the

1289
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 3: show called She Rap Okay. And you have this character,

1290
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:22,080
Speaker 3: Shadow Weaver, who is kind of this evil character, and

1291
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 3: Adorra and Catra are the main people. Adorra is this

1292
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:28,160
Speaker 3: golden child, and shadow Weaver is always like, oh, Adora,

1293
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:30,240
Speaker 3: like you're amazing, You're gonna be the force of you know,

1294
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:33,840
Speaker 3: for the Horde. And Cattra is this like person who

1295
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:36,440
Speaker 3: can do no right in Shadow Weaver's eyes. And so

1296
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 3: the whole thing is that you find out really wow,

1297
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:42,560
Speaker 3: she is upholding like Adorra as this perfect person. Ador

1298
00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 3: is like cracking under the pressure of having to be

1299
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 3: perfect in her eyes. And is still being like in

1300
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:53,919
Speaker 3: a way, even though to Catra it's like, oh my god,

1301
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 3: they love you. And so to put this in this,

1302
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 3: your sister, yes, is getting ten thousand dollars but still

1303
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 3: has to be this perfect child like is still affected.

1304
01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:08,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely, but that's my thought.

1305
01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, their pettiness is causing tension with regards to family occasions.

1306
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,959
Speaker 3: My niece will be one soon, and with Christmas coming,

1307
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:17,200
Speaker 3: my sister said Mom told her that she would not

1308
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 3: be in any room or occasion in which I am present,

1309
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 3: and refuses to even be cordial. She told my sister

1310
01:00:23,280 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 3: that the next time she sees me, she will make

1311
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:27,400
Speaker 3: sure I know exactly what I did to her. Because

1312
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,800
Speaker 3: of that, in not wanting to ruin my niece's first birthday,

1313
01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 3: and because I know my sister is stressed about this,

1314
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:34,400
Speaker 3: I won't be attending the baby's first birthday, but I

1315
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 3: will see her the weekend before so I can give

1316
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:38,400
Speaker 3: her her present and spend time with her. This does

1317
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:40,520
Speaker 3: make me sad, as I love my niece and want

1318
01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 3: to be there, but I don't want her memories to

1319
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 3: be of bad times between Auntie and Grandma.

1320
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:46,480
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.