WEBVTT - Felipe Esparza 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:13.000 Hey Ze, Maddie, what's up ful? I get it? Yeah, alright, Uh, 0:00:13.320 --> 0:00:16.920 what do you know about Felipe Sparza? Thank the commedia 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:23.440 and he's funny and he's on all things comedy. Did 0:00:23.480 --> 0:00:27.920 you also know that he won last Comic Standing? Did 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:31.800 you also know that he's sober and sobriety is a 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:34.800 big part of his life in his comedy. Well, then 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:38.040 you better listen today because we're talking to Felipe Sparza, 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:46.840 host of What's Up Fool. So, Felipe, welcome to Access podcast, buddy, 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:53.519 thanks for having me on podcast. Thank you man. I'm 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:55.480 glad to talk to you, and I was glad to 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:58.440 listen to your show today because, uh, what's up full? 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:01.760 It made me feel good and relaxed. And the reason 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:04.720 I was feeling up tight is just I was on 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:07.759 social media and uh, I got you know, I made 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:10.880 the mistake of like engaging and that's always like, oh, 0:01:10.959 --> 0:01:13.560 it's always bad news. I could take up your whole 0:01:13.640 --> 0:01:16.160 day it is, you know, And I noticed that, you know, 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:19.400 you don't get political on on at least that I 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:22.360 can see from social on social media, is that something 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:24.959 you try to, you know, stay away from in general? 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:27.360 Or um you know, do you feel like you dress 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.680 all that with your comedy sometimes you know, um, we 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:35.280 say something in the podcast that's political but not too political. Well, 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:39.679 we don't take sizes which I attack both sides. Well, 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:41.840 I think that, you know, one of the things that's 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.120 it's great about your show is that you keep it 0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:46.920 like today, I was listening to the first episode. I 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:48.960 know a podcast is good, what I want to jump 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:51.080 in and I'm like, I'm trying to engage in the 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:54.680 conversation with my headphones on, and you guys are you 0:01:54.720 --> 0:01:57.360 were talking about Dukes of Hazzard and I was just 0:01:57.920 --> 0:01:59.520 and I was going off because I used to get 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:01.640 so angry that they used code names. He'd be like 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:04.040 Shepherd a lost sheep. But with Luke, are you there? 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:05.680 And it's like, why the fund do you use a 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:07.560 code name when you say their name right after it 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:13.560 uncle Jesse? I know, right, like uh the right, because 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:18.800 Shepherd is uh lost, Shepherd is Uncle Jessing, lost, Sheep 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:21.280 is Daisy Duke and those two guys I forgot who 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:25.000 they were. Yeah, yeah, And there was just you guys 0:02:25.040 --> 0:02:27.320 got into this conversation and then it ended up going 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:29.959 about like what was on TV on CBS at the time, 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:33.160 and you know, for people from a certain generation. For me, 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:36.320 I was, I was so engaged in it, and like 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:39.079 I said, I needed that. Today I listened to and 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:41.120 I was like, you see, this is the this is 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:43.480 this is what I missed from social media, and this 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:45.239 is what I missed from media in general. I don't 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:47.680 feel like it's light enough anymore. And like, I don't 0:02:47.720 --> 0:02:51.280 hear these kind of cool pop culture conversations I know, 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:56.200 every pop political Like even if you're talking about Star Wars. Oh, 0:02:56.240 --> 0:02:59.040 I like the old Star Wars, but then didn't put 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:02.639 any African Americans in it or Mexican American actors, you 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:05.240 know what I mean. And then people start talking about, 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:07.880 oh man, I love Start Wars before Disney owned it, 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:10.679 and then he go, then didn't did it throws into 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:17.280 a topic about Jewish people. It is um yeah, it 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:21.360 is insane how everything gets gets so politicized. And um, 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:23.400 I mean, is that something you you really strive for 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:25.320 to do on the show, is to keep it light 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:27.080 or you know, or is that just that's just naturally 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:31.080 who you are. I think that's naturally who I am. 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:34.560 You know. Um, Like I remember my mom and dad, 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:37.480 like during that when they were growing when I was 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:39.960 growing up, you know, we had they had a Bush, 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:43.000 not not Bush. They had not a Reagan as president 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:47.520 and then Bush. But I don't remember my mom and 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:51.520 dad ever talking about bad about Reagan or talking bad 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:55.440 about Bush, because all they did is go home, go work, 0:03:55.800 --> 0:03:58.480 come back home, go work, come back home. I don't 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:01.720 think they ever even had time to open the news. 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:03.520 I didn't want to know about the news. They want 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:06.800 to be entertained. So my parents would already watch Spanish 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:11.200 um comedy like these a comedians from Mexico. So we 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:13.760 grew up watching those shows. But my mom and dad 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:17.040 never spoke to us about like mikhole, you better run 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:21.320 home tonight, because on a regulars president reporting a lot 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:23.800 of people. We never got into the topics like that 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:26.279 because we just my mom and dad, you went to work. 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:29.080 They never like sat down and talked to him about 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:33.000 anything political. So and then we were kids, we didn't 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:35.920 talk about political stuff. I think the only political joke 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:40.239 ever had was when my seventh grade or sixth grade 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:43.800 teacher she asked us, um, why is there a conflict? 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:47.240 And I ran and Iraq, you know, why are they fighting? 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:50.080 Why is there a war between them and I don't 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:53.159 know why they were fighting. I'm a kid, so I said, 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:56.919 the reason they're fighting is because for years, for years 0:04:57.360 --> 0:05:01.719 I ran and Iraq couldn't this side and how to 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:06.600 end the the lettering and the spelling of the country. 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:09.080 I ran and said, no, we need to end our 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:12.440 country with the end, and the rack said no, it 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:14.760 ends with a queue. So they want a war over 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:19.520 Q and n see. Do you think that you know 0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:22.600 with your your your parents are immigrants from Mexico and 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:26.120 reading a lot about you know, translate this, You're you're special. 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:28.279 A lot of that is you know about translating, you 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:31.320 know for your parents. Do you feel that because you 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:33.800 know when they came and they're just working to get by, 0:05:33.839 --> 0:05:36.000 which is kind of what you were saying that you know, 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:38.280 there's there's less time to worry about all the other 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:40.880 stuff when you're just trying to worry about making sure 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:44.360 your kids are you know, everything's taken care of. Yeah, 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:46.640 there's there's a lot less time to worry about because 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:50.640 there's no social media back and we're not put this way. 0:05:50.800 --> 0:05:54.840 We're all informed now, everybody knows everything. There's nothing too 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:58.479 high now, you know, maybe it's a bad thing that 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:01.880 we all know what's going on, you know, or it's 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:04.040 a good thing, you know. I like that everybody knows 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:07.520 what's going on, But now there's more fights because of 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:10.760 what everybody knows what's going on. Like when I was, 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:14.320 like I would say, like fifteen years ago, we probably 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:19.840 would have not known anything about the judge from Alabama 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:23.080 running for senator. We would have never known that. Only 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:27.200 the people in um Alabama and Mississippi and stal would 0:06:27.240 --> 0:06:30.280 have known that. That story would have not ever been 0:06:30.920 --> 0:06:35.559 publicized growing up because it's not interesting enough. We probably 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:38.360 would have it probably never made it to the National 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:42.200 Enquired because the National Enquired and that was the only 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:46.920 magazine that that actually had fake news, you know, alternative 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:52.440 alternative facts. You know, uf im pregnant a woman in 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:55.200 New York City. Now that that kind of loose ice 0:06:55.279 --> 0:07:02.039 to here growing up. So when you one of the 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:05.000 things that I've I've always said about my friends who 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:08.000 were Mexican American and I'm from Appalachia, so I'm from 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:12.080 like small town, poor West Virginia, and I've always said 0:07:12.080 --> 0:07:15.640 that people from a yeah, man, the two things that 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:19.800 I always found in common was this these storytelling abilities, 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:21.880 and and and being funny at doing it because I 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:24.000 knew where I grew up that was that was entertainment. 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:26.160 You know, if somebody went to the store, they tell 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:28.480 you a twenty five minute story about it. Do you 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:32.440 think that you know your culture and it's helpful when 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:34.640 it comes to doing something long form like doing a 0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:37.960 podcast work. I mean it is basically storytelling and and 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:42.320 and swapping stories back and forth. Man. Well, when I 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:48.000 first always stand up, I think it's um storytelling. It's 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:50.800 it's it's a natural gift. I mean, some people don't 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:53.920 know how to tell a story without saying, man, you 0:07:53.920 --> 0:07:57.960 ain't gonna believe this ship. Most of the most of 0:07:58.000 --> 0:08:00.720 the great stories I've ever heard started at this, Man, 0:08:01.160 --> 0:08:04.080 you ain't gonna believe this ship. And most of the 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:07.200 time I don't believe it. But Um, as a stand 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:13.920 up comedian, I was afraid, afraid to get personal and 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:17.360 talk to the audience. I never knew. It took me 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:22.400 years of failure em bombing to finally like talk to 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:25.600 the audience or get off the script and not do 0:08:25.680 --> 0:08:28.400 the stand up comedy. I was afraid because I was 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:34.239 my favorite comedian with Ronnie Dangerfield and George Carlin, Richard Pryor, 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:38.360 Power Rodriguez, those comedians. Man, I've never seen him get 0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:44.280 up of the script. The Dangerfield never said anything political 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:48.439 on stage, or or anything close to a political view. 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:52.640 He just wrote jokes like one joke after another, Stephen 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:56.920 Wright another one, just one joke after another, Mitch Hebert 0:08:57.000 --> 0:09:00.840 another one, one joke after another. I think, um the 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:05.160 closest to anybody that's coming up and being free and 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:09.200 talking about stuff with Richard Pryor. But then again, and 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:11.320 that was an act, you know, he made it into 0:09:11.320 --> 0:09:14.720 an act with thanks to Paul Mooney, who pretty much 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:20.000 wrote half of his act. But I'm shy. I grew 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:22.400 up shy, so I I would stay to the script. 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:25.560 But it took me, like I was saying, in the 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:29.800 last seven years of struggling to write new material and 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:34.000 forcing myself to be more personal and talk. And I've 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:36.440 always I've always been I guess I've always been a 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:40.600 great storyteller. But I had I did not know, because 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:44.199 I would talk at any meetings, you know, narcotage anonymous 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:47.040 or alcoholic anonymous. When I was going to the meetings, 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:51.920 I remember talking for thirty five minutes and half of 0:09:51.960 --> 0:09:54.400 it was hilarious, But I didn't know that I was 0:09:54.440 --> 0:09:58.439 doing a stand up comedy. But I just felt that 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:01.400 I was just opening up with my about myself, because 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:05.640 I remember telling somebody a story at Denny's, a comedian 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:09.840 named Willie barsenna and gave reglets. Yes, I said that 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:14.160 one time, this this guy came to my house and 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:18.200 he wanted to buy cocaine crack. But I wasn't selling 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:21.559 crack cocaine out of my house. You know. He found 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:24.200 out where I lived, so he came knocked into my 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:27.960 house looking for crack, and I was gonna beat his 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:30.280 ass first of all for going to my house, Like, 0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:33.760 who invalued you? But I have no crack and I 0:10:33.760 --> 0:10:36.199 would never sell it out of my house. He said, 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:39.080 I don't. I don't have any money, you know, And 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:43.080 I told him I don't have any cracks. I don't 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:47.160 have He had money, but I had no crack. So no, 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:50.120 he had no money to buy crack and I had 0:10:50.160 --> 0:10:52.520 no crack. So I told him, why are you at 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:55.080 my house if you have no money to buy crack? 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.760 And you know I don't stut crack out of this house. 0:10:59.200 --> 0:11:01.000 I thought, maybe because loan me the money. I say, 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:04.679 why loan you the money. Loan you the money so 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:10.440 you can go buy crack from someone else. So I 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:14.000 thought that was a crazy, crazier proposition right there. But 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:18.240 I told him this, all right, man, give me sixty 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:22.800 I'll give you sixty dollars bills if you loan me 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:26.960 your car for the whole night. So you know, I 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:30.240 gave him sixty dollars out of my pocket. He loaned 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:32.959 me his car. He wouldn't go buy crack somewhere else. 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:36.720 And I drove his car, and I was drunk when 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:39.360 he gave him the keys. Like you see these commercials 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:41.880 about don't drink and drive and then you hand the 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:45.040 keys over to a friend. Well, this guy handed his 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:48.719 keys over to us, to a drunk man. So I 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:51.040 got his car. Me and my friends wanted to go 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:54.439 to Vendor's Beach at midnight. We never made it. I 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:57.719 total the car. I crashed the car. It was a 0:11:57.880 --> 0:12:02.560 seventy one Cherry and Palla and I total there, bro 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:06.319 I mean I crashed hard, and I left the car 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:09.520 in the freeway and walked out of there with like 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.800 with blood on my hand. And my friend, now we're 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:16.920 holy nacho cheese. But nachos and when I when we crashed, 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:20.880 their head almost went to the windshield. But what stopped 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:24.160 them before they hit Their head hit the windshield, their 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:28.400 face hit the natural cheese and Halle penuls first little 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:33.440 blind h by Hala penels. You know I left his 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:37.200 car there. The next day he comes to my house 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:40.360 looking for the car, and I told them, listen, man, 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:44.120 I don't know we've crashed your car. You gave your 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.280 card to a drug man. I don't know who your 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:50.120 car is. Right now, here's your keys. Here's another sixty. 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:54.960 But deal over. So I gave the sixty dollars and 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.160 I give his car keys back and that was the 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:01.560 end of the story. That's it. It's closed. He should 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:03.599 have come later on to ask for more money. And 0:13:03.640 --> 0:13:06.200 I thought, listen, man, we made a deal to deal 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.960 was done. You know, you loan your car with no 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:13.760 insurance to a guy who's drunk. I see this guy 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:17.640 ten years later at a narcotics a noon of his meeting, 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:20.880 and I'm telling a story. And after the after the meeting, 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.440 he told me Philippe, I'm the guy who borrowed that car. 0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:28.520 That's awesome. I'm also in recovery. I'm A. I'm a 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:32.040 I'm a proud friend of Bill w and I have 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:35.760 often said that if they could put cameras and meetings, 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.760 especially in some of the meetings that I've been in 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:41.360 in l A and Oakland. I mean, that would be 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:44.200 like the most watched, funniest TV show you ever saw. 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:48.079 That should be a show that the A the A 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:51.720 podcast or Friends of Bill podcast and everybody just speaks 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:55.280 annaly in a microphone. It would be great. I I 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:58.720 agree with you A because um, you know, and unlet's 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:00.400 and you're just talking about like being on this. You know, 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:02.960 I I spent a lot of my radio career doing 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:05.640 mornings and being the drunk guy and the guy that 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:08.600 came on and told you the outrageously awful thing I 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:10.880 did when I was drunk. But when I got sober, 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:13.440 you know, even just bring it up right now, I 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:16.720 still had that moment of hesitation, that little worry because 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:19.440 you know, I'm just you know, I'm still I still 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:21.880 wonder you're people gonna judge me because you know I'm 0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:25.000 an alcoholic. I mean, and you're so open with it 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:27.440 as well. I mean, but did you ever have a 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:30.360 point where like maybe you thought maybe this isn't you 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:31.880 know should I bring this up or should I not 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:34.960 bring it up? Oh? Man, of course I thought about 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:39.400 that a lot of times. Man, because am I incriminating myself? 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:41.800 Am I gonna make myself feel like a lout? Is 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:44.400 a loser to my to my comedy fans who don't 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.680 know me, and they didn't stopped listening to me, or 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:50.200 because I used to be this loser, But actually the 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:54.440 honestly will grab more new people, Like I know, people 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:59.560 gravitated to my podcast because my honesty, like some of 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.360 my list don't. They didn't know it was a stand 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:05.400 up comedian. And I noticed when podcast listeners go to 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:07.920 stand up watch me do stand up comedy, they just 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:10.840 sit there and they laugh a little bit to take 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:15.280 in all the words. Yeah, I had the same experience. Yeah, 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:18.040 go ahead. If people don't know alcoholics like I don't know, 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:22.320 I'm glad you told me you're an alcoholic. Like last week, 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:25.800 for example, my wife made them egg She was drinking 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:27.840 an eggnog and I had an egg knog. But my 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:31.480 eggnog had no rum, no brandy, her egg he egg, 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:33.920 no printy Dane. You know it was. It was a 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.760 good alcoholic eggnog, you know, for somebody whould like to drink. 0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:41.960 But I grabbed the wrong drink. I drank it, and 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:46.720 then right away the alcohol hit my tongue immediately, like fired, 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:49.840 like a strike a match, and I spit it all out. 0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:54.120 And I knew right away when she was having a drink, 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:57.880 like the odesty of my alcoholism came out, and I 0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:01.160 told her, you know, what's the difference between you and 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:04.360 I is that you could enjoy that eggnog and go 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:07.920 and go go do your work. You know, you could. 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:10.560 You could go read a book after that drink. You 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:14.120 could go bicycally, you could go go do things. But 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:18.120 an alcoholic like myself, I can never do that. I 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:21.760 can never drink that and then go hiking or think 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:25.160 about happy thoughts. That drink is gonna leave to a 0:16:25.360 --> 0:16:27.280 thousand more drinks that night, and then I'm going to 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:29.760 disappear and I come home to two days after New 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:32.960 Year's even. Yeah, it's the whole you know. I always 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:34.960 tell my friends, I I play the tape out. You know, 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:37.760 I know what, I know how the tape ends. I've 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:40.280 got I've got banks of them, I got rooms full 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:42.160 of them to go to like I know how what's 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.520 gonna end. And I think that that that moment of 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:46.840 fear though, when you think you're gonna drink. I still 0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:48.560 I don't know if you have them at all, but 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:51.040 I have to have someone once in a while had 0:16:51.080 --> 0:16:53.280 the dreams where I have a drink and I wake 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:57.400 up and panicked the ship. You think that's like, um, 0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:00.200 that that has to be like, um, what what what? 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:03.920 I like a war wedding? What's goes through? Huh? Well, 0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:07.720 I mean it from the damage broke, I would say, 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:10.040 in some ways it is. I mean it's I mean, 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:12.560 you know, if you're like you know, it sounds like 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:15.360 you were like me. So there was damage done, there 0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:21.679 was trauma, like it wasn't all pretty. I have a friend, 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:25.560 my friend, um, my friends, one of my friends, her 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:29.560 brother he stopped, he recovered, he's recovering right now. But 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:32.359 he was a math head for many years and alcoholic 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:35.400 for many years. And she was telling me that her 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:38.919 brother he just got into stand up comedy, like he 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:41.959 was never into stand up comedy. He just got into um, 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:47.280 I guess he got into pants and horticulture and painting 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:51.080 and fishing. And I was telling her that when a 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:55.280 person stops drinking. His mind goes back to the time 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:58.000 when he when he first had that drink, you know, 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:03.720 when he would be it goes because you're ambitious to back. Yeah, 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:05.440 I know. I I tell people all the time, I'm 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:08.800 I'm living my eleven year old life because I'm I'm 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.560 I do like five different jobs and and it's because 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:14.480 I can and and you know, I'm you know, I'm 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:18.159 open to all those things. Um. I didn't expect this 0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:21.840 to turn into this, but I like this because again, 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:23.320 this just gets back to the you know, the whole 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:25.959 idea of like being an alcoholic means if you're if 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:28.040 you're real, you have to be honest, and you have 0:18:28.080 --> 0:18:30.119 to be honest all the time. And I think that again, 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:32.320 that's what we're you know, I hear when I do 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:36.239 your show, and I really um appreciate that with your 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:43.240 comedy as well, me too. So I wanted to talk 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:46.600 to you a little bit about this documentary dying laughing 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:49.119 and I'm just you the whole idea of like I 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:51.600 don't think people think about it about with comedians and 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.399 you know, you have the one job where if you 0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:58.639 have a bad day, you get ridiculed for it or 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:00.680 you have to face a whole room of people that 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:06.879 are like this guy sucks. Um, I mean it doesn't 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:09.119 happen in my job. I mean it does with radio. 0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:11.280 It's saying to some extent, but I mean, like, you know, 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:12.440 when I have a you know, I don't go in 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:14.879 a business meeting and and give a pitch and you know, 0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:16.800 when I'm done, nobody like stands up and tells me 0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:20.639 I suck. I know, man, when you're a radio you know, 0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:23.560 you suck when you show up and your keys don't 0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:28.680 open the studio? How is that? How have you dealt 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:31.600 with that in your career? And it is something that 0:19:31.680 --> 0:19:35.199 still happens and bother you? Oh it does bother me. 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:39.120 I think bombing is is something that a comedian will 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:42.720 always carry with him in his in his life, you know. 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:47.240 But as you bomb more, it's how you bounce back 0:19:47.320 --> 0:19:50.640 after the bombing. You know, that where the experience as 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:54.000 a standard comedian comes down. Because when you first bombed, 0:19:54.000 --> 0:19:57.000 like my first time bombing, it hurts. It hurt a lot. 0:19:57.960 --> 0:19:59.879 You know, I just stood up there. You know, the 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:02.639 your first time you bomb, you freeze, You stay up 0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:06.960 there and then your mouth drives up and then you 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:10.359 go you go into a trans word, the same joke 0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:12.800 only pops up in your head like no new stuff 0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:15.760 comes up, like you can't even think about anything else 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:18.120 to say but good night. But you stay up there. 0:20:19.040 --> 0:20:20.720 And why did you stay up there? Because you don't 0:20:20.720 --> 0:20:24.560 know how to get off. But the second time you bomb, 0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:29.720 it's it's just as worse as the first one. But 0:20:29.800 --> 0:20:32.680 now you know you gotta say good night. You say 0:20:32.680 --> 0:20:37.600 good night. But the third one you already know you're 0:20:37.600 --> 0:20:42.280 sucking up there before you start seeing yourself bombing, before 0:20:42.359 --> 0:20:47.600 the audience starts seeing your bombing, and and you don't 0:20:47.600 --> 0:20:49.320 say good night. You know. You try to fight it 0:20:49.400 --> 0:20:51.359 this time, you try to fight your way through it. 0:20:51.920 --> 0:20:53.520 On the third one, you try to fight your way 0:20:53.560 --> 0:20:56.960 through it, but you can't. You bomb again. But the 0:20:57.040 --> 0:21:01.600 fair fat six times you bomb, no one knows seventh as, 0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:06.240 twelve time, twentieth time, no one knows your bombing at all. 0:21:07.200 --> 0:21:10.879 Only you know this time. And that's the hardest bomb ever, 0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:13.960 when no one else you're bombing. No one else knows 0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:17.000 your bombing, but you know you are. Because the jokes 0:21:17.280 --> 0:21:19.760 are People are laughing at the jokes, but they're not 0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:23.920 laughing like the last show you did, and man, bombing sucks. 0:21:24.480 --> 0:21:28.119 People don't understand that, like the best. The only person 0:21:28.200 --> 0:21:31.520 that could I said it right, I'm that I'm dying 0:21:31.600 --> 0:21:35.600 up here was Mike Epps. Like, when you bomb, you know, 0:21:35.720 --> 0:21:39.320 when you bomb, you start taking a bunch of finances, 0:21:39.400 --> 0:21:47.680 he said, But as true, man, Like, the hardest bomb 0:21:47.760 --> 0:21:51.239 I ever had was in Tacoma, Washington, when I got 0:21:51.320 --> 0:21:54.360 booed off the stage and the audience member went up 0:21:54.359 --> 0:21:56.920 on stage and took the microphone away, and then I 0:21:56.920 --> 0:21:59.480 and then I said, I said something that made it 0:21:59.520 --> 0:22:03.680 we even worst. I said. Chris Rock was right, there's 0:22:03.760 --> 0:22:07.240 black people and then there's your people here to Cooma, Washington, 0:22:07.280 --> 0:22:12.200 take a good night. That's great. You know, doing comedy 0:22:12.240 --> 0:22:15.600 live it's different, I'm assuming from doing the podcast live. 0:22:15.680 --> 0:22:19.399 I love doing live podcasts, um I just because when 0:22:19.440 --> 0:22:22.000 you're doing a podcast, you don't get the you don't 0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:24.719 get the laughs, you don't get the feedback. Um And 0:22:24.760 --> 0:22:26.600 I know, I know, she you know you do live 0:22:26.640 --> 0:22:29.240 podcast from time to time. How how how much different 0:22:29.320 --> 0:22:32.640 is that from being on stage on comedy? Oh man, 0:22:33.320 --> 0:22:35.800 I did a I did a live podcast last night 0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:40.199 for another comedian, Martine Moreno, Martin Moreno, he's up. He 0:22:40.280 --> 0:22:43.760 hosts for Game Regless. Yes, he's a guy that introduced 0:22:43.840 --> 0:22:47.480