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Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of iHeartRadio. Welcome back to

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Speaker 1: the show, Ridiculous Historians. Thank you, as always so much

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Speaker 1: for tuning in. Let's hear it for the Man, the Myth,

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Speaker 1: the legend, our super producer, mister Max Williams.

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Speaker 2: Max the Maximum Max Williams.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we always aside honorifics to mister Max Williams, as

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Speaker 1: well as to mister Noel Brown.

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Speaker 3: Go ahead, laid on me.

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Speaker 4: You want one?

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Speaker 1: I called you the back man earlier.

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Speaker 3: That was okay, Yeah, we've for a minute.

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Speaker 2: It is. It is my wish to be a bag

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Speaker 2: man in a highst type scenario speaking of a hight

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Speaker 2: type scenario.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, guys, this is an old here. Have I either

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Speaker 3: of y'all seen the.

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Speaker 2: Nineteen seventies film The Taking of Pelham one, two three, Yes,

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Speaker 2: it's about It's so cool. It's a it's a heist

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Speaker 2: movie about these criminals who hijack a New York City

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Speaker 2: subway train in an effort to extort the government of

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Speaker 2: New York City for a million dollars. And it's got

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Speaker 2: Walter Mathow in it, and it's like, it's funny, it's exciting.

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Speaker 2: It's the classic seventies vibes heist type picture, highly recommend unrelated.

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Speaker 3: I don't know that there you know what there are.

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Speaker 2: That's the first time I ever heard like a mister

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Speaker 2: color thing like in reservoir Dogs.

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Speaker 3: That's kind of no honorific, but not quite.

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Speaker 2: But the whole point is, though, Ben, you can't really

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Speaker 2: give yourself an honorific.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of dirty pool.

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Speaker 1: That's right, and that is me. So to finish up

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Speaker 1: the introductions here, I am all and called Ben Bullen.

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Speaker 1: Some honorifics I have received are the benevolent, the beneficent.

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Speaker 1: None of those were my choice. I actually learned the

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Speaker 1: word beneficent when it was bestowed upon me back in

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Speaker 1: the day. The nickname rule is applicable to honorifics as well.

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Speaker 1: Honorifics as a phrase is simply the concept of nicknames.

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Speaker 1: With a tie on. Nickname rules will state, as previously mentioned,

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Speaker 1: that you should not give yourself your own nickname. It

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Speaker 1: has to be an aggregate observation, hopefully from people who

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Speaker 1: love you, but it doesn't always work out that way.

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Speaker 1: This episode is about some of the funniest honorifics in

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Speaker 1: history and our super producer Max, who is pulling double

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Speaker 1: duty as a research associate on this episode, has an

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Speaker 1: anecdote that you want to share Max about your friend Greg.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

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Speaker 4: Greg Williams such a wonderful man.

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Speaker 3: I love this kind of death.

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Speaker 4: He's one of my closest relation, no relationship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, your last name is Williams, right, yeah, yeah, from

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Speaker 2: another mother type situation.

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Speaker 4: We don't look similar. Well I'll just I'll just leave

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Speaker 4: it that way. But yeah, Greg, back when we were

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Speaker 4: in our twenties, he had this period of time where

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Speaker 4: he was really convinced he wanted to cool nickname. And

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Speaker 4: the problem was he wanted to give to himself. And

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Speaker 4: his other problem was his two best friends for me

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Speaker 4: and some other guy named Phil, and we're trolls.

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Speaker 1: Who you describe as idiots.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we're absolute idiots. That that is fills to this day.

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Speaker 4: Another very close friend of mine still. And so we'd

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Speaker 4: be just like, you know, hanging around at our local

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Speaker 4: watering holes, and Greg would just be like doing this

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Speaker 4: in the Norse over. He's just like turbo firing out

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Speaker 4: Nick Nanns for himself. He's like, I want to be

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Speaker 4: the cougar, now, the jaguar, No, the mountain lion. I'm

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Speaker 4: like dude, sounds like you want to be a cat,

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Speaker 4: So why don't you call you like mister fuzzy Pie's.

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Speaker 1: That's very funny. I've seen a It's Always Sunny episode

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Speaker 1: where it I think it's the Gang gets whacked Port

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Speaker 1: one or two. It's a two parter rare for that

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Speaker 1: crew where in our pal mac It tries to do

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Speaker 1: the same thing. He says he's he's sly like a cat,

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Speaker 1: and so on. We've we've all been in these situations.

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Speaker 1: A good nickname, a good honorific is amazing. Sometimes they're

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Speaker 1: a compliment, Peter the Great. Sometimes they're an insult, of

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Speaker 1: course are I mean one of my personal favorites just

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Speaker 1: been here talking ethel read the Unready. It's just such

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Speaker 1: a walk for that one.

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Speaker 2: It's such a low key disc too. It's like, you're

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Speaker 2: not You're not terrible, You're just a little unprepared. You

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Speaker 2: didn't really do your homework. I've in the terrible one

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Speaker 2: could argue is a nickname that inspires fear uh to me.

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Speaker 2: You know, terrible in this context is more are like

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Speaker 2: a terrible ogre, a horrifying dragon. Not necessarily that you're

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Speaker 2: like a terrible person. You know what I mean, it does.

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Speaker 2: It does seem to have a little bit more gravitas

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Speaker 2: to it. So Ivan might have been cool with that nickname. Honestly, yeah, it.

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Speaker 1: Might have been a marketing decision. We also have to

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Speaker 1: point out here's what I would argue is one of

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Speaker 1: the great differentiators. Nicknames are what we call little sobriquets

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Speaker 1: assigned by your contemporaries. Honorifics can occur across history, and

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Speaker 1: that's why there are a lot of you know, emperors

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Speaker 1: or rulers of old who get their honorific posthumously. They

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Speaker 1: are assigned that by an historian who may not have

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Speaker 1: met them. It's usually, uh, it's usually a mixed bag.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 1: Some honorifics are super complimentary, some are super insulting and

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Speaker 1: are honestly insider jokes for historians and bookkeepers of the

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Speaker 1: time when books were much more of a niche pursuit.

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Speaker 3: Sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's of course where history was recorded, often

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Speaker 2: by the victors, and they're usually the ones that give

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Speaker 2: out the honorifics.

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Speaker 1: Postures written by the victors.

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Speaker 2: Indeed, a huge shout out to Aaron Kelly over at

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Speaker 2: all that's interesting for her list history. He's twenty five

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Speaker 2: most embarrassing royal nicknames with a big resource used for

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Speaker 2: this dossier. So why don't we jump right in with

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Speaker 2: William the Third, another Landian king, or, as Max puts it,

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Speaker 2: another Landy king. Maybe that's right, Yeah, another Landian, the

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Speaker 2: king of the Netherlands.

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Speaker 1: And I'd like to give a preemptive shout out to

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Speaker 1: our buddy Ben Thompson, who deals a lot with a

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Speaker 1: lot with sober quets, a lot with street names of

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Speaker 1: history in his excellent blog and podcast Badass of the Week.

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Speaker 1: So William the third, not the first William. He's sort

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Speaker 1: of what is it, He's sort of return of the

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Speaker 1: King as Williams go. If we go to our friends

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Speaker 1: in Britannica, we will see that our pale William was

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Speaker 1: born relatively recently in the Great Scheme of Things February nineteenth,

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Speaker 1: eighteen seventeen, and he made it all the way to

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Speaker 1: eighteen ninety November twenty third, which is honestly not that

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Speaker 1: bad for a king.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, had a bad life also, you know, given the

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Speaker 2: nature of a much shorter life expectancies back then. I

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Speaker 2: love the name of the town in which he passed away,

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Speaker 2: though apple Dorn, also in the Netherlands. He was pretty

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Speaker 2: conservative in the way that he governed the Netherlands. He

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Speaker 2: was also a Grand Duke of Luxembourg, being the eldest

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Speaker 2: son of King William the second. Also possessed a pretty

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Speaker 2: interesting hairstyle. Let's see what we got here, Yeah, okay, wow,

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Speaker 2: bit of a combover, bit of a curious George kind

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Speaker 2: of vibe.

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Speaker 3: He's sort of like his whole face is ringed in a.

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Speaker 2: Very thinning line of hair with a combovery bald spot

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Speaker 2: on the top, and he's perfectly cleanly shaven. It's a

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Speaker 2: weird amish hybrid kind of thing going on there for.

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Speaker 4: A lot of compensation, it feels like, and it's just

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Speaker 4: making it worse.

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Speaker 1: And it's also it shows us the bubble of success.

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Speaker 1: He's not welcoming people for advice or anything other than yes.

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Speaker 1: And at this point we should also point out to

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Speaker 1: get in front of this that when I said he

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Speaker 1: was born on February nineteenth, eighteen seventeen, he was born

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Speaker 1: in Brussels, which is in Belgium, and then he died

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Speaker 1: in apple Doorn in the Netherlands. So he also by

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Speaker 1: the way he comes from a little bit of a

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Speaker 1: close family tree, there's not a wide branch. He marries

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Speaker 1: his cousin Sophia, who is the daughter of his grandfather.

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Speaker 2: That's all right, King William the Og number one, and

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Speaker 2: he is of Wurtemburg. In eighteen thirty nine, by the way,

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Speaker 2: is when this marriage took place between William and his cousin,

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Speaker 2: daughter of King William the First, and in eighteen forty

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Speaker 2: nine he succeeded to the throne. A little bit of

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Speaker 2: a muddled chronology here with all these similar names. But

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Speaker 2: we got this man with this par for the course,

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Speaker 2: for ridiculous history. Don't you worry. Once you open up

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Speaker 2: the family tree, it just starts to get even more confusing.

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Speaker 3: So we're doing our best here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and let's go to William three. Before we introduce

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Speaker 1: his hoterrific Let's give the guys flowers. As I mentioned earlier,

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Speaker 1: he had a pretty good reign as far as kings go,

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Speaker 1: around about forty one years. A lot of it was

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Speaker 1: associated with what we could kind of call conservatism. For

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Speaker 1: the time. He was opposed to things like making a

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Speaker 1: constitution or human rights.

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Speaker 3: Who needs that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was pissed at Catholics for sure, we have

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Speaker 1: some quotes from different places. You can read this everywhere. Britannica,

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Speaker 1: for instance, points out that he opposed the Constitution of

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Speaker 1: eighteen forty eight because that would create a nascent form

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Speaker 1: of parliamentary government. He also he was not an absolute monarch,

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Speaker 1: so he did have political forces that compelled him to

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Speaker 1: allow certain people to head a new government of the

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Speaker 1: one of the big thorns in Issai being Johann Thorbek,

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Speaker 1: who was, by the way, a big fan of constitutions.

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Speaker 3: That's right.

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Speaker 2: Throwbeca did resign, however, from that government in eighteen fifty three,

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Speaker 2: when William adopted, against the wishes of this government a

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Speaker 2: staunchly anti Catholic stance in a dispute over the re

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Speaker 2: establishment of a Roman Catholic episcopal hierarchy headed up by

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Speaker 2: the Archbishop of Utrecht.

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Speaker 1: Which is a great art store these days, is it?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 1: No, it's a real it's a real town.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like it ought to be like a bicycle,

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Speaker 2: a brand, or an outdoors e type shop.

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Speaker 3: I might just be thinking of Trek.

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Speaker 1: I want to say Utrecht is an art store.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Here in the US it's a brand of art supply

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Speaker 1: stores so maybe he was way more in front of

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Speaker 1: stuff anyway, on the way to on the way to death,

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Speaker 1: our buddy Willy Willie Trace. He attempted to sell the

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Speaker 1: entirety of Luxembourg to France. Luxembourg is currently an independent nation.

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Speaker 1: It is, by the way, super fancy. He ran into

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Speaker 1: trouble with that. Prussia was still very much in play,

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Speaker 1: and they said it's a bridge too far. They were,

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Speaker 1: they were not quite to the point of, you know,

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Speaker 1: just pushing people out third story windows that at that

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Speaker 1: juncture in history.

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Speaker 3: But there are tough customers.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, their threats would be followed. Through all of this,

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Speaker 1: All of this is just context. William the Third's nickname

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Speaker 1: does not deal with his political machinations. Instead, it deals

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Speaker 1: with his more skinemax ridiculous history after dark behavior.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he and his wife had what you might call

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Speaker 2: a loveless marriage. Didn't seem like they vibed super well

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Speaker 2: with one another interpersonally or you know, between the old sheets.

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Speaker 2: So he needed to seek gratification of that kind elsewhere.

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Speaker 2: As Kelly writes in the article that we mentioned at

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Speaker 2: the top, William was known for an enthusiasm for extramarital relationships.

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Speaker 2: It almost would seem as though they had a bit

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Speaker 2: of a you know, understanding, which, according to some sources,

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Speaker 2: resulted in potentially dozens of illegitimate airs during his first marriage.

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Speaker 2: He's so anti Catholic. How come I guess they didn't

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Speaker 2: really have contraception back then, did they? Sorry?

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Speaker 3: You know, I pull out and pray, that's the one.

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Speaker 3: It seemed like he was doing more praying than pulling out.

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Speaker 1: It's also important to note that he did have three

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Speaker 1: sons with his first wife, Sophie, and so sadly, as

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Speaker 1: was not uncommon in the time, child mortality was very high,

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Speaker 1: all three of William and Sophie's legitimate children passed away

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Speaker 1: while their father was still alive. Sophie also died.

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Speaker 3: Oho Max is raising his paw.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And just to jump in here, I think one

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Speaker 4: of the children died very young. But this is actually

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Speaker 4: one of these cases where the dad just lived for

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Speaker 4: a really, really long time. It's actually struck comparison. It's

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Speaker 4: Tyercepton was the longest living human in Elder Scrolls universe,

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Speaker 4: and his son, who became kingwinn sept Typerceptim died was

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Speaker 4: very old and did not have a very long Empire.

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Speaker 1: And if you want to learn more about the basis

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Speaker 1: of Elder Scrolls and Skyrim lore, please do remember to

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Speaker 1: pick up every book you run across when you're playing

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Speaker 1: the game, or hop over to their wiki.

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Speaker 2: It's good stuff, it's good writing. After his first wife, Sophie,

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Speaker 2: died in eighteen cent seventy seven, he married another woman

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Speaker 2: by the name of Emma of Waldeck, Piermont's very fancy

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Speaker 2: sounding name, who served as regent in eighteen ninety while

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Speaker 2: the king was unwell. Wilhelmina was the name of their daughter, uh,

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Speaker 2: and was his only living legitimate heir by the way,

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Speaker 2: because you know, he has scoodles of illegitimate airs, but.

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Speaker 1: Narshals have to, you know, goat with a thousand young kindries.

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Speaker 2: We'll recall that his three previous legitimate sons had passed

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Speaker 2: away sadly, and she did succeed to the throne of

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Speaker 2: the Netherlands upon his death in eighteen ninety.

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Speaker 1: And contemporary sources and later historians report that this second

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Speaker 1: marriage was way less loveless, way warmer.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 1: Some people argue that had the idea that he became

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Speaker 1: a better king, and that's a human thing. Sometimes you

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Speaker 1: don't get it right the first time. This is where

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Speaker 1: he gets his hot terrific. The New York Times. That's right,

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Speaker 1: because remember we're in the late eighteen hundreds.

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Speaker 2: The New York Times, who previously supported nuking the Darien Gap.

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Speaker 3: By the way, checkout stuff they don't want you to know.

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Speaker 3: Episode on that subject to Harter in your seed.

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Speaker 1: And the New York Times says to the world at large,

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Speaker 1: or at least English readers, that this guy, William the

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Speaker 1: third is the greatest debauche.

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Speaker 2: Can I just say that what I saw this, I

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Speaker 2: read it as the greatest douchebag.

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Speaker 1: I mean similar.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's funny debauche, very Bacchanalian lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: Eh yeah, there's also you know, look not to split hairs.

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Speaker 1: H huh do you do you get the Jays?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: A h h e.

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Speaker 1: I well I'm here for it, Ben, thank you, sir. Uh.

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Speaker 2: We're not only gonna keep it, then we're gonna put

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Speaker 2: it on the mantle and and dust it lovingly.

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Speaker 4: It's gonna get a bad drama, of course.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, yeah, all right, I appreciate you guys. This

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Speaker 1: This is not great p R. Right. It happens pretty

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Speaker 1: often where where in you know, uh, high profile target

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Speaker 1: be the political, religious or you know, royal. Uh they

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Speaker 1: they will, they will get smacked around in the tabloids.

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Speaker 1: And we have to remember that the New York Times

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Speaker 1: is super fancy pants today, but they weren't above digging

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Speaker 1: into dumb ideas in the past. And so as we

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Speaker 1: as we return to our pal Aaron Kelly, Uh, she

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Speaker 1: raws a little bit of a disagreement with this because

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Speaker 1: she said, look, you know other people fathered sixty three

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Speaker 1: illegitimate children before they got married.

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Speaker 2: On her list of the weirdest nicknames, oral nicknames, you know.

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Speaker 1: And as that guy's name is John the baby Maker,

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Speaker 1: that's right.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what do you think is more offensive

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Speaker 2: being a baby maker or a debaci And it's a

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Speaker 2: little puritanical, isn't it. The idea like they're sort of

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Speaker 2: making a judgment call about how many children he fathered

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Speaker 2: out of wedlock, and they're making it sound like he's

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Speaker 2: some sort of you know, sex pest.

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Speaker 1: You very British. I think baby maker is funnier than

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Speaker 1: debche and.

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Speaker 2: Less judges, less assaulting, right, Yeah, I mean, in those days,

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Speaker 2: producing airs was what you wanted to do, you know.

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Speaker 2: And there's also no caveat in John the Baby Maker

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Speaker 2: as to the legitimacy of those children, So I don't know, man.

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Speaker 4: I so he actual Babymaker actually had three legitimate heirs.

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Speaker 4: I reason wand to write about John the baby Maker.

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Speaker 4: But a lot of times the further you go back

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Speaker 4: with in royalty, the harder and harder it is to

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Speaker 4: find like real sources. And I'm saying that about the

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Speaker 4: guy I picked whose name is William the Third. Do

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Speaker 4: you know who William the Third is on the Google search?

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Speaker 4: It's William, King of the Orange King whatever. He's a

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Speaker 4: British king. It's really hard.

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Speaker 1: It's a name thing. There's so many Henry's, Williams and James's.

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Speaker 4: And don't forget about Charles.

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Speaker 1: There's never there's never one Jame. Like I have a

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Speaker 1: friend whose name is Jame. It's this singular of James.

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Speaker 1: It's spelled a little bit differently, but I really appreciate

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Speaker 1: his parents.

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Speaker 2: That was one of the potential names for the Buffalo

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Speaker 2: Bill character in j Jame Gum or Jamie Jame or Jamie.

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Speaker 2: I was the first time I ever heard a singular

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Speaker 2: Jame that is very interesting. Well, we got a little

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Speaker 2: bit of dispute here as to the fairness of this

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Speaker 2: nick name. But unfortunately that's not how honorifics work. Fairness

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Speaker 2: doesn't enter into it. It's all about stickiness.

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Speaker 1: Right yeah, yeah, and speaking up.

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Speaker 3: I don't mean that in a gross way.

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Speaker 2: I just mean like, if it's strong enough, catchy enough honorific,

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Speaker 2: it's gonna stick her out throughout history. And you got

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Speaker 2: you or your heirs or your estate really don't have

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Speaker 2: anything to say about it at that point. Otherwise you'll

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Speaker 2: be employing like the Streisand effect, where you try to

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Speaker 2: get something pulled down or changed after the fact, people

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Speaker 2: are just gonna double down on the thing that you

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Speaker 2: want to change.

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Speaker 1: And I'd love to I'd love to write an episode

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Speaker 1: later about honorifics or street memes given to US presidents.

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Speaker 1: You have to wonder what people will get as time

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Speaker 1: goes on. Will it be like or even political figures.

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Speaker 1: I think people have gotten their ship sunk when they

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Speaker 1: get the wrong sort of like you're saying, thing caught

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Speaker 1: up in the zeitgeist, right, Jeb low energy Bush.

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Speaker 3: I guess I just.

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Speaker 2: Don't think of donterrifics being as much of a thing

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Speaker 2: in modern politics.

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Speaker 1: We're too close to it.

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Speaker 3: That must be right.

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Speaker 1: We're not very lying, man. We got to get there.

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Speaker 2: Speaking of time, why don't we pass forward a little

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Speaker 2: bit in time to King Henry the fourth of Castile.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, this guy was born where actually we're reverse

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Speaker 1: forwarding time. We're rewinding.

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Speaker 3: Excuse me, excuse me?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, no, this guy, as you pointed out, he

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Speaker 1: is born in fourteen twenty five January twenty fifth, So

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Speaker 1: the anniversary of his birthday as we record today, January

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Speaker 1: twenty fourth, is coming up tomorrow. Happy birthday, buddy. He lives,

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Speaker 1: he does his bit, He does pretty well. He passes

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Speaker 1: away in fourteen seventy four in Madrid. He's born and

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Speaker 1: dies in Spain. And he is king from let's see

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Speaker 1: fourteen fifty four to fourteen seventy four. And he didn't

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Speaker 1: he didn't live during the most staple times.

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Speaker 2: No, at first he seemed like he had a handle

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Speaker 2: on things, but then you know, his reign began to

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Speaker 2: spiral pretty wildly out of control. We're gonna lean on

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Speaker 2: Max here a little bit for a shortened version of

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Speaker 2: how events kind of transpire. Everyone hated this guy, who's

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Speaker 2: not popular. They wanted him out. There was a faction

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Speaker 2: of individuals that claim that his little brother Alfonso was

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Speaker 2: in fact the king. Is a very Game of Thrones

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Speaker 2: esque scenario, and in an act of political theater, they

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Speaker 2: deposed Henry in effigy.

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Speaker 3: What is that like? They literally burned like a doll

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Speaker 3: of him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like, we're getting rid of this puppet who represents

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Speaker 1: this guy down with the Yeah. And three years after that,

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Speaker 1: old Alphonso passes away, or I should say younger Alfonso

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Speaker 1: passes away, and Henry attempts to because this is royalty again,

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Speaker 1: it's not a meritocracy, right.

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Speaker 2: Waitit wait, So this deposing an effigy like took I

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Speaker 2: don't understand. Is this like a real revolution or was

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Speaker 2: this just an act?

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Speaker 3: The whole thing was the start of a civil war. Basically,

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Speaker 3: it started a civil war. That's it was.

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Speaker 2: It was a symbolic act that then spread into actual action.

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Speaker 3: And he was in fact deposed.

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Speaker 4: He wasn't, but there was a faction of people who

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Speaker 4: said he was posed.

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Speaker 1: He was not deposed, but people could not. People did

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Speaker 1: not unanimously agree upon who is king.

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Speaker 2: They did not acknowledge his authority and Therefore Alfonso more

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Speaker 2: or less became in charge because the people rallied behind him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there were a bunch of people essentially saying the

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Speaker 1: equivalent of my president.

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Speaker 4: So a similar comp in modern day would be when

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Speaker 4: the Ukraine Russian War started, there was parts of eastern

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Speaker 4: Ukraine that came out and said, oh, we are not

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Speaker 4: part of Ukraine, We're part of Russia.

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Speaker 1: Similar or similar to the troubles in Crimea as well.

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Speaker 1: So the before we get to stuff that'll want you

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Speaker 1: to know about this one, we know that our buddy

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00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:30,159
Speaker 1: Henry tried to shore up the rain, shore up his line,

402
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Speaker 1: and he said, look, here's my daughter Juana, she's the queen.

403
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Speaker 1: She's gonna be the queen. She is an infant at

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Speaker 1: the time, she did not have informed consent, and so

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Speaker 1: his rivals is, you know, not my president type dudes

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Speaker 1: then said, no way, nice, try your majesty. The real

407
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Speaker 1: ruler is your half sister Isabella future Isabelle.

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Speaker 2: The first two, without Henry's knowledge or permission, married the

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Speaker 2: heir to the throne of Aragon, Fella named Ferdinand, who

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Speaker 2: was to become Ferdinand the second. The two would ultimately

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Speaker 2: unite Spain, which is pretty cool, pretty.

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Speaker 3: Tough job to somewhere or less the happy end.

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Speaker 1: Yeah for Spain perhaps right, Yeah, but maybe not for

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Speaker 1: our buddy Henry the fourth. He is his honorific which

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Speaker 1: we're about to explore. Just for a slight spoiler, folks,

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Speaker 1: It is a one hundred and eighty degrees difference from

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Speaker 1: what happened with our boy Willie three stacks, which I

418
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Speaker 1: just made up.

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Speaker 2: And I guess it's approachable.

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Speaker 3: I think so.

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Speaker 1: So this guy, No, this guy, This guy apparently was

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00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 1: not super lovey dovey in his first marriage, and he

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Speaker 1: was married for a number of years. According to horses,

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Speaker 1: which may have an agenda, he never got frisked up,

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Speaker 1: he never got horned up, he never consummated at all.

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Speaker 1: His thirteen year marriage to his cousin wife.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, I guess that's sort of a small

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Speaker 2: consolation to marrying your cousin.

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Speaker 3: I think it makes it a little less gross.

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Speaker 1: I mean, maybe it's a political thing. I really want

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Speaker 1: to marry her.

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Speaker 2: Also true, but you know, the cousin marrying was pretty

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Speaker 2: wide rife at the time, so I don't think that

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Speaker 2: was maybe the main concern. But some sources saw it

435
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 2: a little differently with those perspectives coming from members of

436
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 2: the local sex trade.

437
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:44,879
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, they said there was nothing wrong under the hood.

438
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 1: We're a family show, so let's pretend that's not a circumcision.

439
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 2: It's oh geez, Louise Ben. He was perhaps just not

440
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 2: fond of his cousin wife.

441
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then he marries another cousin who did birth

442
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: a daughter. That's the infant he tries to install as queen,

443
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 1: but rumor has it, rumor has it that he is

444
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 1: not the biological father.

445
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't seem like there's any cousin scruples going

446
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 2: on here. He went from one cousin to the next.

447
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 2: So in Max's research he found a lot about Henry's

448
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 2: bedroom difficulties, but nothing quite as hilarious as what was

449
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,920
Speaker 2: detailed in the National Library of Medicine's article King Henry

450
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 2: the Fourth of Castilla an exceptional eurologic patient an indochrinopathy

451
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 2: causing the euro andrological problems of the monarch, Impotence and

452
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 2: penile malformation, Part three, Part three, Yeah, three of three,

453
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 2: and our source Aaron Kelly points out that Henry's reign

454
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 2: was more or less the history of it was more

455
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: or less co opted by his half sister, who was

456
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,640
Speaker 2: the one who kicked him out in the first.

457
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:06,360
Speaker 3: Place, and that sort of saddled.

458
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 2: Him with about one of the most infantiizing honorifics a

459
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 2: male king could possibly be saddled with.

460
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 1: Ooh, let us know what is it?

461
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 3: What is it? Henry the Impotent?

462
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 1: Ah, not Henry the Potent, No, sir, two letters can

463
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: make such a difference.

464
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 3: I know, I know, No, Henry the Impotent. Yeah.

465
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 2: It does seem though, perhaps that through his philandering, he

466
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 2: may well have brought this one on himself.

467
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of an old goal, as they would say

468
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 1: in Europe, hoisted on his own bitar.

469
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 4: And I will say there is actually proof that when

470
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 4: people like, why don't you have a child with your

471
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 4: first cousin wife, he would scream, A curse is upon

472
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 4: me and it's made me impotent. When when you're using

473
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 4: that as your excuse and you get it as your nickname.

474
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: Kind of brought on yourself, it doesn't it doesn't work

475
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: in the modern day. You can't say, uh, you can't

476
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: blame a curse on misfortune now in a court of law.

477
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 2: Now, let's not get too uh yeah, no, you're a

478
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 2: hundred percent right then, And let's not get too under

479
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 2: the hood here again. But impotence and infertility are two

480
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 2: different things, right for sure? Yeah, so the implication being

481
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 2: that if he was impotent, he couldn't become too mess in.

482
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: Yeah.

483
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

484
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 2: But the sex workers, though, do we do we put

485
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 2: any credence in their perspective or do we think they

486
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 2: were just talking tracks?

487
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 1: Guttle but mm yeah, because it's it's difficult now to

488
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 1: it becomes a he said, she said, or more likely

489
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 1: it becomes uh she said, she said.

490
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 2: Well, we do have a Scientific Journal article about his

491
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 2: pen so an the body. It sure would seem like

492
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 2: that's probably the source that we should lean on the most.

493
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 1: What do you say, guys, Let's do one more. This

494
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 1: is going to be a continuing series again with a

495
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 1: shout out to our pal Ben Thompson. Check out our

496
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 1: earlier interview with him. Go Ben's He created Badass of

497
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: the Week, which is so neat and so comprehensive in fact,

498
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,720
Speaker 1: that we routinely check the site when we're writing stuff.

499
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 1: We with the help of Ben and Max, learned about

500
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 1: our last honorific for today, a guy named Harold H.

501
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 1: A R A L D. Not Harold Harold unclear. I

502
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 1: think I'm with you, Ben.

503
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 2: If that's not how it's pronounced, that's how it's pronounced

504
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 2: now in the Ridiculous History extended universe. According to our

505
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 2: pal friend of the podcast, Ben Thompson from his site

506
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 2: Badass of the Week as well as his podcast Ongoing

507
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 2: Badass of the Week, Harold fair Hair was the first

508
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 2: true King of Norway, the national hero of his country,

509
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 2: and a man known not only for a mighty propensity.

510
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 3: For cleaving his enemies in Twain.

511
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 5: As as Ben describes it, like a psychotic escaped mental

512
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 5: patient carving a Thanksgiving turkey, but also for rocking ahead

513
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 5: of epically glorious glam metal hair so righteous it's the

514
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 5: primary way violence loving.

515
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 2: Vikings Scalds chose to remember his name. That is good

516
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 2: quality writing there, Ben Thompson.

517
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, and Ben continues and says, look, this guy

518
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 1: was too busy to write stuff down. He's not in

519
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: the monastery. He's not laboriously scrolling out or scrolling out

520
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 1: letters punched over a tome's right, just so, yeah, you're right, Noel. Instead,

521
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: he is launching multiple campaigns to unify his country under

522
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: one single ruler, which is historically a very violent pursuit

523
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 1: and as a result of his wartime exploits at a

524
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 1: lot of the nuts and bolts details about his administration

525
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: are riddled with mythology and folklore and crazy anecdotes that

526
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,719
Speaker 1: praise the guy the same like that give him this

527
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 1: vibe of a heavy metal guitar solo with an eagle

528
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 1: screaming in the background.

529
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, as mullet probably resembled that of a

530
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 2: golden eagle wings spread. Now, he definitely had a bit

531
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 2: of a feathery mallet, and I would profer that he

532
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 2: maybe all his powers were contained within his mullet, like Samson.

533
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 1: Oh yes, Samson, I love it. We do know he

534
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 1: was real. He was definitely a real dude, a biological human.

535
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 1: He did succeed in his timeline. He got all the Yarls,

536
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 1: the sort of warlords of Norway under his rule.

537
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 2: Shout out Skyram, by the way, they use that as

538
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 2: the name of the leaders of the different townships.

539
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 3: There are yarls.

540
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm not with the nerds in that game.

541
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: I feel like they're a little racist.

542
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 2: To be that is very true, Ben, I can't remember

543
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 2: who I aligned with. I think I'm still deciding. Yeah,

544
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 2: but you're still on the broken quest line.

545
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 3: I'm nowhere, Ben.

546
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 2: It's been long enough now that I think I might

547
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 2: just just start over, start again.

548
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 3: It is a great game. But I also I got.

549
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 2: Balder's Gate too, man, I still have to dig in

550
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 2: and I want to be a Balder's gatey.

551
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 3: I just want to do it.

552
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 1: Boulders.

553
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 3: I feel like it's over my head a little bit,

554
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 3: but I'm gonna try.

555
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 2: Just text me with any questions, Okay, I sure will

556
00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 2: about who I should bang that is Boulders Gates.

557
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 1: Okay.

558
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 2: So, I mean there's a lot of mythology wrapped up

559
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 2: in the way this guy is written about in history.

560
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 2: But we do know for sure is that he was

561
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 2: the first King of Norway and a bona fide badass,

562
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 2: as Ben Thompson puts it. However, you know, given all

563
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 2: of the kind of badassy that surrounds this guy and

564
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 2: his incredible locks, his epic main it might surprise you

565
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 2: to know that he had a less than complimentary honorific.

566
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 1: I love this, all right, folks. Get ready, this guy,

567
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 1: despite all the things he did, the great violence he wrought,

568
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 1: his unification of what we call Norway. Today his street

569
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:49,359
Speaker 1: name is Harold the Lousy l o us Y. Yeah, yeah,

570
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:50,399
Speaker 1: careful with it.

571
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 2: Well, we might say lousy today as just I think

572
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 2: I want to think of that.

573
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 3: I think of like I love Lucy. They always said

574
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 3: everything was lousy, but.

575
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 2: In this case you might I pronounced it more as

576
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 2: a hard s lousy because this does go back to

577
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:06,800
Speaker 2: his copious locks.

578
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,959
Speaker 3: And think about all a little.

579
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 2: In those days of questionable hygiene, little hangers on that

580
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 2: can get wrapped up in in a glorious mane like them.

581
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, so go at your absolutely right now, going back

582
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 1: to your earlier excellent shout out to Samson, by the way,

583
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 1: well done. We see that legend has it our buddy Harold.

584
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: Harold had vowed not to cut his hair until he

585
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:41,000
Speaker 1: became the ruler of a unifide Norway, and by the

586
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 1: time he actually received the crown ten years on, his

587
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: hair was pretty groady. He kind of looked like a

588
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 1: trained kid, we will call him here in the US.

589
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 1: And along the way he picked up he created a

590
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:07,959
Speaker 1: the follicular ecosystem for a lot of parasites louses as

591
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 1: they're known. So apparently they were just like jumping off

592
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 1: him pigpin style. Also shout out to our very first

593
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 1: Ridiculous History episode. Oh my gosh, you guys heard emoji.

594
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: This all started when we asked each other why British

595
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 1: courts require people to wear wigs.

596
00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:30,839
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, because of the syphilis and the lice and

597
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 2: the parasites. Yeah, we are talking about lice, by the way,

598
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:36,920
Speaker 2: if you hadn't put that one together. So this guy was,

599
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:41,399
Speaker 2: in fact crown the first king of Norway, but what

600
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 2: he is mostly remembered for is the fact that his

601
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 2: hair was riddled.

602
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,240
Speaker 3: With lice, lousy with lice. In fact.

603
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and look, let's be fair. This guy is a

604
00:36:55,160 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 1: Viking in the eight hundreds eight hundred C. So a

605
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:04,760
Speaker 1: lot of people had lice, a lot of people had

606
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 1: you know, all kinds of stuff, crabs, you know what

607
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 1: I mean there.

608
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, but not only was this guy the king of

609
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 3: the Vikings, he was the king of of lice. It

610
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 3: would seem, yeah.

611
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 1: Because everybody in his crew would meet him and again

612
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 1: the story later get lice. So so he said, he's saying,

613
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 1: you know, oh, great battle, we cleaved the snot out

614
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,840
Speaker 1: of these guys. Give me a hug. I'm gonna promote

615
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:36,280
Speaker 1: you to my new yarl and they say like a

616
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 1: fist bump, baby.

617
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:38,280
Speaker 3: Bump, elbow bump.

618
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, maybe try rubbing this peanut butter on your head, buddy.

619
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 1: So we have more wonders ahead. Honorifically, uh, this turns

620
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 1: out to be a continuing series. Some honorifics are great.

621
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: Love that we point this out in the beginning. Some

622
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:03,800
Speaker 1: people have these amazing, you know, high fluting praises baked

623
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: into their nicknames. Other people have names that you might

624
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:12,320
Speaker 1: remember from our explorations with our pals Jack and Miles,

625
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:15,960
Speaker 1: who are overdue to come on for another collaboration with

626
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 1: historical flexes. Maybe we end it here, man ethel read,

627
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 1: I just I hope one day he's ready. Yeah.

628
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,879
Speaker 3: I think by now he should be. He's had enough

629
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 3: time to prepare.

630
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. Sure, yeah, bring your notes, ethel Red, when you

631
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 1: recross the Mortal Veil in the meantime. Thank you so

632
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 1: much to our super producer and research associate for this episode,

633
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: mister Max Williams. Thanks to Alex Tawana Williams, who is

634
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 1: kicking it playing some amazing guitar. And well, maybe one day,

635
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 1: what do you think, Noel, maybe pop by an episode.

636
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 3: Are you kidding? How has that not happened yet?

637
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 2: It must Hughes Thanks to Jonathan Strickland, the quister, A J. Bahamas,

638
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 2: Jacob's the Puzzler, Chris frosciotis Neive, Jeff cos Here It's parent.

639
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 1: Rachel Big Spinach Lance are rude dudes at ridiculous crime

640
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: and maybe we'll have a collab with them on the way. Thanks,

641
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:16,360
Speaker 1: of course, to all the historians who took the time

642
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 1: from with one ulterior motivation or another to bestow these

643
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 1: monikers on honorifics and nicknames on figures of notes and Noel,

644
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:28,640
Speaker 1: Thanks to you.

645
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 3: Hey, Thanks to you too, Buddy. We'll see you next time. Folks.

646
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 2: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

647
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.