Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is too gossip for good. That is, say
Speaker 1: nice things about people that you suspect you'll over here
Speaker 1: or that will be repeated back to them. This is
Speaker 1: one of the best ways to make people feel good
Speaker 1: about themselves. A few months ago, I had an experience
Speaker 1: that you may have had too. Several of us were
Speaker 1: using a new video platform for a call, and as
Speaker 1: I came in a bit late from trying to figure
Speaker 1: it out, it was clear that the others were talking
Speaker 1: and that they hadn't seen that I had joined. In
Speaker 1: the span of ten seconds before they figured out I
Speaker 1: was there, one of the other participants said something nice
Speaker 1: about me. Not only was I relieved that they weren't
Speaker 1: complaining about my tardiness, I got the warm, fuzzy feeling
Speaker 1: that comes from hearing a compliment that I wasn't intended
Speaker 1: to hear. It got me thinking about the importance of
Speaker 1: gossiping for good. It's easy to bond with people by
Speaker 1: talking about other people, but even with people we like,
Speaker 1: we can sometimes say things that border on complaint. I
Speaker 1: don't know why we so often resort to negativity as
Speaker 1: we try to establish common ground, But I do know
Speaker 1: that it's not necessarily a great idea long term. And
Speaker 1: if we're not going to stop talking about other people,
Speaker 1: maybe we can try to make at least some of
Speaker 1: the talk positive. There's a good chance our words will
Speaker 1: get back to the person we're talking about, so best
Speaker 1: to say things that if they do get back to
Speaker 1: the person, or if the person overhears them, they'll feel
Speaker 1: good about. This is especially true with kids. Kids can
Speaker 1: indeed be maddening and exhausting, but we're all around the
Speaker 1: house right now. A complaint said behind a closed door
Speaker 1: on a cell phone will still be heard, so will
Speaker 1: a compliment. Best to spread kindness through these tough times
Speaker 1: by going with the ladder when in doubt, be specific.
Speaker 1: Talk about examples. Maybe your kids have found a way
Speaker 1: to keep training for their sports. Maybe they've been reaching
Speaker 1: out to friends to check on how they're doing. Maybe
Speaker 1: they've had trouble with distance learning but have proactively reached
Speaker 1: out to teachers for help. Choose something that you're proud of,
Speaker 1: and then the next time you're on the phone with
Speaker 1: a relative or a friend or having what you think
Speaker 1: is a behind closed doors conversation with your spouse. Make
Speaker 1: sure to bring these things up. You can do this
Speaker 1: with colleagues too. When someone does something well or handles
Speaker 1: a tough situation with wisdom, make a note of it.
Speaker 1: Work it into your next conversation with someone else. Maybe
Speaker 1: it won't make it back to the other person, in
Speaker 1: which case, no big deal. You've just said now something nice,
Speaker 1: But the odds are good that it will make it
Speaker 1: back to the person you're complimenting. And while you can
Speaker 1: and should compliment people directly, these back channel compliments always
Speaker 1: feel a little more special. They weren't meant to be heard,
Speaker 1: so when they are heard, it's like opening an unexpected present.
Speaker 1: Knowing this, you can make a point of repeating anything
Speaker 1: nice that you hear to the subjects too. Tell your
Speaker 1: kids how impressed your relatives are with the notes they sent.
Speaker 1: Tell your colleagues how impressed your friend in another department
Speaker 1: was with their performance in the last meeting. When you
Speaker 1: gossip for good, you become a force for good. And
Speaker 1: who couldn't use that right now? In the meantime, this
Speaker 1: is Laura, Thanks for listening, and here's to making the
Speaker 1: most of our time. Hey everybody, I'd love to hear
Speaker 1: from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook
Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the
Speaker 1: number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also
Speaker 1: shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast. At i
Speaker 1: heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out
Speaker 1: with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward
Speaker 1: to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of
Speaker 1: I heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.