WEBVTT - Gossip for good 

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is too gossip for good. That is, say

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<v Speaker 1>nice things about people that you suspect you'll over here

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<v Speaker 1>or that will be repeated back to them. This is

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<v Speaker 1>one of the best ways to make people feel good

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<v Speaker 1>about themselves. A few months ago, I had an experience

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<v Speaker 1>that you may have had too. Several of us were

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<v Speaker 1>using a new video platform for a call, and as

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<v Speaker 1>I came in a bit late from trying to figure

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<v Speaker 1>it out, it was clear that the others were talking

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<v Speaker 1>and that they hadn't seen that I had joined. In

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<v Speaker 1>the span of ten seconds before they figured out I

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<v Speaker 1>was there, one of the other participants said something nice

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<v Speaker 1>about me. Not only was I relieved that they weren't

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<v Speaker 1>complaining about my tardiness, I got the warm, fuzzy feeling

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<v Speaker 1>that comes from hearing a compliment that I wasn't intended

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<v Speaker 1>to hear. It got me thinking about the importance of

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<v Speaker 1>gossiping for good. It's easy to bond with people by

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<v Speaker 1>talking about other people, but even with people we like,

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<v Speaker 1>we can sometimes say things that border on complaint. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know why we so often resort to negativity as

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<v Speaker 1>we try to establish common ground, But I do know

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<v Speaker 1>that it's not necessarily a great idea long term. And

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<v Speaker 1>if we're not going to stop talking about other people,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe we can try to make at least some of

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<v Speaker 1>the talk positive. There's a good chance our words will

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<v Speaker 1>get back to the person we're talking about, so best

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<v Speaker 1>to say things that if they do get back to

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<v Speaker 1>the person, or if the person overhears them, they'll feel

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<v Speaker 1>good about. This is especially true with kids. Kids can

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<v Speaker 1>indeed be maddening and exhausting, but we're all around the

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<v Speaker 1>house right now. A complaint said behind a closed door

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<v Speaker 1>on a cell phone will still be heard, so will

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<v Speaker 1>a compliment. Best to spread kindness through these tough times

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<v Speaker 1>by going with the ladder when in doubt, be specific.

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<v Speaker 1>Talk about examples. Maybe your kids have found a way

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<v Speaker 1>to keep training for their sports. Maybe they've been reaching

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<v Speaker 1>out to friends to check on how they're doing. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>they've had trouble with distance learning but have proactively reached

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<v Speaker 1>out to teachers for help. Choose something that you're proud of,

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<v Speaker 1>and then the next time you're on the phone with

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<v Speaker 1>a relative or a friend or having what you think

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<v Speaker 1>is a behind closed doors conversation with your spouse. Make

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<v Speaker 1>sure to bring these things up. You can do this

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<v Speaker 1>with colleagues too. When someone does something well or handles

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<v Speaker 1>a tough situation with wisdom, make a note of it.

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<v Speaker 1>Work it into your next conversation with someone else. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>it won't make it back to the other person, in

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<v Speaker 1>which case, no big deal. You've just said now something nice,

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<v Speaker 1>But the odds are good that it will make it

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<v Speaker 1>back to the person you're complimenting. And while you can

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<v Speaker 1>and should compliment people directly, these back channel compliments always

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<v Speaker 1>feel a little more special. They weren't meant to be heard,

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<v Speaker 1>so when they are heard, it's like opening an unexpected present.

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<v Speaker 1>Knowing this, you can make a point of repeating anything

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<v Speaker 1>nice that you hear to the subjects too. Tell your

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<v Speaker 1>kids how impressed your relatives are with the notes they sent.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell your colleagues how impressed your friend in another department

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<v Speaker 1>was with their performance in the last meeting. When you

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<v Speaker 1>gossip for good, you become a force for good. And

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<v Speaker 1>who couldn't use that right now? In the meantime, this

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<v Speaker 1>is Laura, Thanks for listening, and here's to making the

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<v Speaker 1>most of our time. Hey everybody, I'd love to hear

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<v Speaker 1>from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the

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<v Speaker 1>number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also

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<v Speaker 1>shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast. At i

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<v Speaker 1>heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out

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<v Speaker 1>with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward

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<v Speaker 1>to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of

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<v Speaker 1>I heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,

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<v Speaker 1>visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

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<v Speaker 1>you listen to your favorite shows.