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Speaker 1: My daughter is eighteen and pregnant. She's too young to

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Speaker 1: have a kid, So I stole that child. Am I

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Speaker 1: the asshole?

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Speaker 2: You know, you gotta let your kid spread their wings

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Speaker 2: and fly, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Let your kids have kids, That's what I'm saying, and

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Speaker 1: then steal them. So my forty nine male daughter got

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Speaker 1: pregnant when she was eighteen. She didn't want a kid,

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Speaker 1: especially not that young. So after some serious talk, I

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Speaker 1: said I would take in her child, but she said

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Speaker 1: she didn't want any responsibility for the child, so she

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Speaker 1: ended up signing away her parental rights and I adopted

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Speaker 1: her child as soon as he was born.

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Speaker 2: That seems like a tricky situation because.

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Speaker 1: You're still there. Yeah, but okay, I think it's like

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Speaker 1: the classic Oh, like I'm actually your sister. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: you get raised by the mom, your mom says, your grandma,

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Speaker 1: mom's your sister. Oops. She went off to college, traveled,

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Speaker 1: and I fully supported her. My son my daughter's child,

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Speaker 1: but I will be calling him. My son is now

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Speaker 1: sixteen and is an amazing kid, and my daughter has

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Speaker 1: barely come to see him, and if she does come around,

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Speaker 1: she just ignores him. He knows that she is her

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Speaker 1: biological mother, but after a few failed reconnection attempts when

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Speaker 1: he was younger, he's given up on a relationship with her.

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Speaker 1: That is so sad.

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Speaker 2: It is really tough.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, I thought it was going to be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: he doesn't know, yeah, but the fact that he knows,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm kind of busy, like traveling and

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Speaker 1: like seeing the world. I'd rather just not see you

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Speaker 1: or be involved in your world. Your world. Shit, can

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Speaker 1: you just like stop being around These last few weeks,

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Speaker 1: a few things happened. My daughter got engaged to her

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Speaker 1: long term boyfriend, okay, and my son came out to me, Wow,

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Speaker 1: I fully support him, which is great. Don't expect that

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Speaker 1: often from your grandma's That is true. And my son

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Speaker 1: also won a small local skating competition. He's been skating

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Speaker 1: since he was nine and loves it. It's his preferred

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Speaker 1: mode of transport and he is known by the local

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Speaker 1: skating community and skate shop. When my daughter got engage,

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Speaker 1: she said she didn't want any secrets, so she told

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Speaker 1: her fiance that she has a child, but that I

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Speaker 1: have adopted him his kids. I'm not sure the age,

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Speaker 1: but they are young, not understanding that my daughter and

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Speaker 1: my son are estranged, wanted to meet their new brother.

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Speaker 1: Even after days of refusing in kid friendly explanations, they

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Speaker 1: didn't give up, so they brought the kids to meet

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Speaker 1: my son. Hmmm, it's the class with the two families. Interesting.

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Speaker 1: My son was friendly with the kids and their dad

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Speaker 1: and was civil with my daughter and her fiance sat

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Speaker 1: with me to talk. After a while, the fiance noticed

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Speaker 1: my son's trophy on a shelf and asked about it.

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Speaker 1: When I explained, he looked interested, but my daughter was horrified.

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Speaker 1: Why are you horrified?

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Speaker 2: Okay, listen, you are getting way too much attention. I

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Speaker 2: might have to think and look at you now.

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Speaker 1: I would love for you to win the quiet competition. Yes,

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Speaker 1: let's start playing now and never stop. You're doing so good.

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Speaker 1: You're doing so great, honey, Thank you. Keep going until

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Speaker 1: you die. She sent her fiance to check on the kids,

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Speaker 1: then asked me what I was doing letting them do

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Speaker 1: something so dangerous. She said that skateboarding was for delinquents

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Speaker 1: and that as his mother, she doesn't want him skating anymore.

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Speaker 1: As his mother, excuse me, all of a sudden, you care?

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Speaker 1: Whoa Now you're so worried she only wants to take

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Speaker 1: away his fun.

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Speaker 2: What if she's trying to prove to her fiance, like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be a good mom to your kids.

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Speaker 1: She's like flexing her mom muscle. When she said mother,

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Speaker 1: I have to admit I did laugh. I reminded her

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Speaker 1: that I had parental rights over him and that she

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Speaker 1: has no say. She was clearly upset by this and

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Speaker 1: called me cruel, saying that she was a child when

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Speaker 1: she got pregnant and that she's a different person. Now. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I recall you being pregnant at eighteen. I think like, wait,

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Speaker 1: something happens when you go from seventy eighteen, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think like, in the eyes of the law, you're like,

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Speaker 1: we're you a fucking adult.

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Speaker 2: H Also, you've had sixteen years yeah, which again just

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Speaker 2: leads me to think it's performative, like you've.

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Speaker 1: Had a lot of time to lean into this, mom

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Speaker 1: if you wanted to. Why not? Or even more, what hell?

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Speaker 1: How old is she forty nine? Eighteen? Oh, my forty nine?

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Speaker 1: So the grandma mom, Yeah, it's forty nine, and then

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Speaker 1: I think it's forty nine. Mail Oh sorry, sorry grandma mom.

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Speaker 2: Dad, please accept her most humblest of apologies.

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Speaker 1: I told her that doesn't matter and that my son

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Speaker 1: is my son. She then got really upset and grabbed

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Speaker 1: her fiance and his kids and left. At first, I

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Speaker 1: didn't think I was in the wrong, but now that

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Speaker 1: I think about it, it might have been rude to

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Speaker 1: laugh and hold my paternal rights over her head like that.

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Speaker 1: These past few weeks have been emotional, so maybe I overreacted.

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Speaker 1: Am I the asshole? I want to let John give

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Speaker 1: it an opinion on whether op's the asshole or not,

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Speaker 1: but I would love to know from you guys. Do

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Speaker 1: you have any stories of like, either you or someone

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Speaker 1: you know having a sister mom, or a dad brother

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Speaker 1: or a dad brother.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, So the biological mom, she had so

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Speaker 2: much time and so much opportunity, and to me her

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Speaker 2: going to the parent now and being like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: like what are you doing? How could you be so irresponsible?

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Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, are you kidding me? I was literally

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Speaker 2: responsible for sixteen years. To me, I'm kind of like,

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Speaker 2: as ope, I am deserved an apology because it's like, hey, like,

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Speaker 2: don't attack my parenting style and you didn't want a

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Speaker 2: parent at.

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Speaker 1: All, and you haven't had any input this whole time,

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Speaker 1: nor have you shown that you wanted to have input.

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Speaker 1: It's almost like if like if you had a kid

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Speaker 1: and you're like, yeah, I'm a kid's skateboarding now, and

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Speaker 1: I would be like, oh, how dare you let your

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Speaker 1: kids skateboard? You know what? Let me take over right here,

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Speaker 1: let me tell you how to parent your child. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think like, ope, I don't think is an asshole.

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Speaker 1: The laughing it was more like just out of bafflement,

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Speaker 1: and I think making it very clear, like hey, like

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Speaker 1: this is not your kid. You can't just tell me

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Speaker 1: how to parent. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I do not think that, oh P's the asshole at all.

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Speaker 1: Now, but what do you think? Put your answers in

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Speaker 1: the comments right now and we will talk teacher, because

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Speaker 1: we're gonna be telling you this next story.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it. Husband wants to do a paternity test.

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Speaker 2: He just wants to double check. Now things are getting

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Speaker 2: even worse. Am I the ahole?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Just check your work? You know. It's like your

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Speaker 1: teacher says, show your work and then check it.

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Speaker 2: I'm not one hundred percent sure. I want to make

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Speaker 2: a one hundred.

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Speaker 1: Percent so I can love this child.

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Speaker 2: I thirty four female, have a younger brother, Tom thirty male,

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Speaker 2: who is co parenting my four year old nephew TJ.

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Speaker 2: And his ex, Amanda thirty female. She and my brother

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Speaker 2: have known each other since middle school and dated on

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Speaker 2: and off since high school. It wasn't until after college

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Speaker 2: that they decided to get serious moved in together, and

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Speaker 2: they were even engaged and would have gotten married if

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Speaker 2: Amanda hadn't found out that she was pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that the whole idea of a shotgun wedding?

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Speaker 2: Also, they were already engaged.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Wait, so it's like, oh shit, we have a kid, divorce,

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Speaker 1: divorce before we start.

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Speaker 2: The dream dress that she wanted to wear was not

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Speaker 2: made for a pregnant woman's body, and she opted to

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Speaker 2: wait until after their son was born for the actual wedding. Oh,

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Speaker 2: it sounds like he'll be saying that they like didn't

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Speaker 2: do the wedding.

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Speaker 1: But they delayed it. Okay, Okay, that makes more sense.

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Speaker 2: Everything seemed to be going great until Tom decided to

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Speaker 2: toss a grenade into the relationship.

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Speaker 1: Here we go, Oh, what's the grenade?

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Speaker 2: Tom? By asking for a paternity test before signing the

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Speaker 2: birth certificate.

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Speaker 1: Yikes, you know that doesn't It's not a great setup

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Speaker 1: to get married.

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Speaker 2: It's not a good look.

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Speaker 1: I understand, I understand where he's looking. He's scared, he's nervous. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you're supposed to have the trust there. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: like the trust is broken now. Oh boy.

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Speaker 2: He admitted that he had no proof, nor did he

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Speaker 2: even suspect Amanda of cheating, and believed that their son

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Speaker 2: was his.

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Speaker 1: So why the paternity test? But he just wanted to

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Speaker 1: be one hundred percent babe, babe, I totally trust you,

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Speaker 1: ninety nine point five percent. I'm an overachiever. What can

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Speaker 1: I say? I want one hundred percent?

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Speaker 2: Come on. Obviously, Amanda did not take you kindly to

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Speaker 2: what was being implied and moved out while Tom was

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Speaker 2: away at work. Speedrun to implode your marriage for real.

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Speaker 2: A few days later, he got the ring back through

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Speaker 2: the mail, along with a court summons for child support. Wow,

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Speaker 2: which included the DNA test he initially wanted.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you got what you wanted.

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Speaker 2: Be careful what you ask for. Boys.

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Speaker 1: So the DNA test, Oh, he's just the father. Tom

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Speaker 1: was the father. I mean he was ninety nine percent sure, Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: It was right, and while there were people on both

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Speaker 2: sides trying to push for reconciliation, Amanda was not interested.

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Speaker 2: She was mostly civil about everything, but refused to be

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Speaker 2: engaged with Tom about anything that didn't directly involve their son.

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Speaker 2: To me, she he didn't seem angry, just cold. Like

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Speaker 2: she could put on this convincing mask of warmth and

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Speaker 2: joy with Tom whenever TJ was around, but the second

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Speaker 2: he wasn't home, she would go, please don't touch me.

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Speaker 1: Damn, Tom really fucked his life up.

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Speaker 2: Tom has always been hurt over how Amanda responded to

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Speaker 2: his request and feels that she failed TJ by walking

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Speaker 2: away instead of just staying in the relationship.

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Speaker 1: Do you think it's an overreaction.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I do think that Amanda has every right

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Speaker 2: to be very offended, feel like the trust is broken,

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Speaker 2: and all these all these things, and ultimately I think

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Speaker 2: it's okay to leave the relationship. I'm putting myself in

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Speaker 2: those shoes. I probably would have wanted to sit down

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Speaker 2: and I would give myself some time to process and

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Speaker 2: maybe tell them like the trust has broken, like this,

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Speaker 2: get in relationship.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I would have done it.

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Speaker 2: As soon.

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Speaker 1: But I mean, yeah, who am I to say? Nobody?

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Speaker 2: I mostly just bit my tongue. But now that Amanda

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Speaker 2: has started dating again, Tom has gotten worse. One day,

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Speaker 2: he was ranting about how it was too soon for

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Speaker 2: Amanda to be dating.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, man, four years, you know that is just yea

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Speaker 1: four years is.

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Speaker 2: Four years old?

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Speaker 1: Now? Yeah? Yeah, I mean four years is not too soon, babe.

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Speaker 2: Can you just wait like a good like three decades

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Speaker 2: for me. Just be celibate the rest of your life.

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Speaker 2: I responded by bringing up how Tom has had at

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Speaker 2: least two girlfriends, says his relationship with Amanda ended.

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Speaker 1: Bro, Tom is the biggest hypocrite. He wants to have

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Speaker 1: it both ways. He's like, I trust you, but I

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Speaker 1: want an attornity test. I have had two girlfriends, but

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Speaker 1: you're not allowed any boyfriends.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love you, but I need to sleep with

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Speaker 2: all these other women.

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Speaker 1: He's warm buffetting it. Just because I have a wife,

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Speaker 1: don't mean I can't diversify my assets. Emphasis on the ass.

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Speaker 2: So Tom defended himself, saying that what he did was

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Speaker 2: different as he was just dating to have fun and

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Speaker 2: scratch the itch while Amanda is looking to marry.

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Speaker 1: Man does not know how to save himself. This guy

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Speaker 1: is chicken Joe. If he was like nefarious not cool. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if he wasn't like a good guy, Tom, you are

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Speaker 1: now chicken. Eventually, I got fed up with his attitude.

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Speaker 2: And told him the only reason he's in this situation

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Speaker 2: is because of his choice to question the paternity. Tom

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Speaker 2: said that as a man, he had every right to

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Speaker 2: know if TJ was his, and I countered with Amanda

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Speaker 2: having every right to leave him over it, as no

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Speaker 2: honest woman should have been treated as if they'd done

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Speaker 2: something wrong, and that I would have done the exact

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Speaker 2: same thing as her if a man ever dared to

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Speaker 2: try something like that with me. Dude, this is some

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Speaker 2: tough brotherly love right here.

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Speaker 1: He just love.

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Speaker 2: Since then, my parents and a few of Tom's friends

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Speaker 2: has said that I was in the wrong as my

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Speaker 2: brother was looking for a sympathetic ear rather than to

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Speaker 2: be kicked.

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Speaker 1: While he was down. Am I the a hole? I

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Speaker 1: don't think so? Who are these family members, dude? I

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Speaker 1: mean when I feel like op is giving the exact

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Speaker 1: advice that Tom needs to hear. Yes, Tom is a

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Speaker 1: bumbling beffoon that doesn't know his ass from his taint,

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Speaker 1: and he needs to know what is and what ain't.

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Speaker 2: And you know what's gonna keep happening. He is going

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Speaker 2: to keep doing stupid shit like this. Yeah, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. What do you think? Do you think

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Speaker 1: Opie was too harsh with Tom? Also, what do you

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Speaker 1: think about asking for paternity tests just in case? Is

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Speaker 1: that a good idea? Is that ever? A good idea?

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Speaker 1: Is asking for a paternity test an automatic relationship ender?

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Speaker 1: That's the question. That's the question.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we'll get mixed some mixed results.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious to see what people say. Yeah, me too,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I'm also curious about what this next

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Speaker 1: story