WEBVTT - Rachel Platten

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, folks, Robock and I were at a concert last

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<v Speaker 1>night and just after one song, Roboch was wiping tears

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<v Speaker 1>constantly from her face. And the artist who had her

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<v Speaker 1>in tears is in studio with us today. Everybody, welcome

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<v Speaker 1>to this episode of Amy and TJ Roaves. Did I

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<v Speaker 1>get that about right? Did I describe it?

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<v Speaker 2>I had like I had ugly tears, like it was embarrassing,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I was actually crying, like absolutely sobbing.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, but it was there were tears of just what

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<v Speaker 3>beauty anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>Because it was sad. It wasn't a sad moment. It

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't a sad song necessarily, it was a beautiful song.

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<v Speaker 1>But yes, okay, now you describe what my reaction was

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<v Speaker 1>to you cry.

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<v Speaker 2>You were staring at me and then you were laughing

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<v Speaker 2>at me, h lyrically.

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<v Speaker 1>Now that sounds mean, but everybody needs to understand she

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<v Speaker 1>was laughing at herself while she was crying.

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<v Speaker 2>I was laughing and crying at the same time because

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<v Speaker 2>I realized how like ridiculously emotional I was in that moment.

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<v Speaker 2>But I feel like it speaks to the level of

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<v Speaker 2>talent and the authenticity of the words and the music

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<v Speaker 2>by one of my absolute favorite artists who I'm so

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<v Speaker 2>excited to reconnect with after God. It's been almost a

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<v Speaker 2>decade and she is one of my all time favorite,

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<v Speaker 2>favorite favorite people. I listened to her music at least

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<v Speaker 2>once a day. One of the songs and I have

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<v Speaker 2>all my favorites, and yes, this one song got me

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<v Speaker 2>last night. Do you remember what the name of the

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<v Speaker 2>song was?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, of course I know what the name of the

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<v Speaker 1>song was. And to get everybody a little caught up

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<v Speaker 1>here to set the mood here. This was at a

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<v Speaker 1>small church in Brooklyn St.

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<v Speaker 3>Anne, Saint Anne's, but it was I don't think it

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<v Speaker 3>was small. It was.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's gorgeous, but it's a but when you think

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<v Speaker 1>about a concert venue, it's very intimate. It's a church.

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<v Speaker 1>You're in a church. So they have I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>how many candles were set up. They call these these

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<v Speaker 1>candlelight concerts they have. So we were invited to one,

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<v Speaker 1>uh last evening. So it's a very intimate and it

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<v Speaker 1>is one of the coolest concerts I have ever been to.

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<v Speaker 1>But the tone and the mood and the energy in

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<v Speaker 1>there was so so sweet and we're sitting there. We

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<v Speaker 1>had a good time had a good day, and sure,

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't expecting you told me about this song before

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<v Speaker 1>we went in, and so one song goes off perfectly.

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<v Speaker 1>We were having a good time, like, wow, this is amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>Before we get to the chorus on song too, you all,

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<v Speaker 1>I wish you all could see me.

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<v Speaker 3>She should have taken a video her hands.

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<v Speaker 1>Look, we're moving like when the whole time, and it

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<v Speaker 1>was absurd and we were having such a good time.

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<v Speaker 1>You were laughing. I was laughing at you. You couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>believe you got caught up. Yeah, but in the moment.

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<v Speaker 1>But the song is called girls, Yes, and please describe

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<v Speaker 1>a song.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, first of all, can we talk about the amazing

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<v Speaker 2>artist Rachel Platton, who I think everyone knows and loves.

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<v Speaker 2>But this song Girl, she released a year ago. And

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<v Speaker 2>my oldest daughter, Ava, who is also a singer or

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<v Speaker 2>an aspiring singer songwriter, she came running in and said, Mom,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to listen to the song. She was sending

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<v Speaker 2>it to me, and I started listening to it and

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<v Speaker 2>then I just listened to it on repeat and we

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<v Speaker 2>would listen to it together and I just send it

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<v Speaker 2>to her. She send it back to me, and so

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<v Speaker 2>it's a song about Rachel wrote this for her two daughters,

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<v Speaker 2>who are two and five now, and I remember when

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<v Speaker 2>my babies were two and five. That's the same spread

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<v Speaker 2>that my daughters are, but they're eighteen and twenty one now.

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<v Speaker 2>But it's a song. It's a tribute to them and

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<v Speaker 2>the power that they have, not just within themselves but

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<v Speaker 2>together as sisters. Oh my god, and about a mother's

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<v Speaker 2>love for her daughters. And it's just, oh my god,

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<v Speaker 2>it's so beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>And with that, can we say welcome. That was incredible,

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<v Speaker 1>No thank you, but thank you for the invitation to

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<v Speaker 1>the concert last thank you for expending That was Look, sister,

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<v Speaker 1>I look. I don't need to sound like I'm posturing

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<v Speaker 1>here or trying to flatter you in some way, but

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<v Speaker 1>that was one of the coolest venues and showcases of

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<v Speaker 1>somebody's talent I've ever seen. I've been to a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of concerts, but when someone can get on stage and

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<v Speaker 1>there's a mic and a piano and just go to town,

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<v Speaker 1>I have no greater respect for an artist than that.

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<v Speaker 1>And I saw you in a venue last night, Rachel.

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<v Speaker 1>That was unbelievable. That was unreal.

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<v Speaker 4>Think you're going to make me cry, thank you so much. Honestly,

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<v Speaker 4>to be seen it was kind of what I was

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<v Speaker 4>always wanting, and to be seen for. We'll get into

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<v Speaker 4>it more than fight song and seen for the true

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<v Speaker 4>artist that I am. And it means so much to me.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 3>Were we felt. We just kept looking into the going

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<v Speaker 3>this is so cool, this is so.

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<v Speaker 4>Such an amazing venue.

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<v Speaker 3>It was. It was incredible.

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<v Speaker 4>There were thousands of candles that they set up. It's

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<v Speaker 4>called Candlelight Concert Series. I'm probably going to do more

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<v Speaker 4>around the country, but it's just the most magical thing.

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<v Speaker 4>I remember walking in there and being like, I get

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<v Speaker 4>to sing here, let alone stand in here. I didn't

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<v Speaker 4>want to get off stage.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh I didn't want you to either. I don't think

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<v Speaker 3>anybody wanted you to. It was funny because I just

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<v Speaker 3>mentioned my daughter Ava.

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<v Speaker 2>She was wondering what TJ and his music choices, like,

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<v Speaker 2>what he would think about going to a Rachel plattin concert.

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<v Speaker 3>So she was like, I can't wait to see what

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<v Speaker 3>you have to say. So we came back.

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<v Speaker 2>Ava was came back from her waitress shift and she

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<v Speaker 2>was like, Okay, TJ, what did you think.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just blown away. I'm familiar with your hit songs.

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<v Speaker 1>I have not done I'll admit I haven't done it.

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<v Speaker 1>I hadn't done a deep dive on a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>your music, but I was familiar to you and your hits.

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<v Speaker 1>I was familiar. But for whatever reason, and her daughter

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<v Speaker 1>didn't think maybe I'll say, Okay, TJ. Don't know what

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<v Speaker 1>this is gonna be your laying will you even discussed

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<v Speaker 1>like what I should wear? Like how should I dress?

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, is this kind of a racial plan audience?

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<v Speaker 1>Or is it I dressed like this?

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<v Speaker 4>I think people are going to be pretty surprised by

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<v Speaker 4>these shows, and they have been, and they have given

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<v Speaker 4>you to be like, wait, I thought it was this

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<v Speaker 4>one thing. It's very very much not and not maybe

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<v Speaker 4>not only that one thing anymore. And so I understand

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<v Speaker 4>her hesitance for you. I understand you're like unsure about

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<v Speaker 4>what to wear, like is this a pop audience with

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<v Speaker 4>our little girls? I get that, and that's fair.

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<v Speaker 2>I loved the moment you started singing. He was like

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<v Speaker 2>oh wow, Like he was like, this is the real deal.

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<v Speaker 2>She is the real deal. And that made me so

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<v Speaker 2>happy because I didn't want to I don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>talk you up too much. I wanted him to have

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<v Speaker 2>his own opinion, and I was like so excited I knew.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, when she gets up there and starts singing,

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<v Speaker 2>I know, because you.

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<v Speaker 4>That's amazing that you knew, because I don't even know

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<v Speaker 4>if fans of mine and who. To be honest, I

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<v Speaker 4>didn't even know I could sing and play like that.

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<v Speaker 4>Something happened and we'll get into it. Something happened to

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<v Speaker 4>me during my change into motherhood and this subsequent depression

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<v Speaker 4>and mental health battle that I went through. Something happened

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<v Speaker 4>to me that unlocked something in me. And I get surprised.

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<v Speaker 4>I really am genuinely saying this. I get surprised by

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<v Speaker 4>what my voice can do. I actually can't believe it.

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<v Speaker 4>It never could do that before. It was strong, but

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<v Speaker 4>it wasn't like it couldn't just do whatever I want.

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<v Speaker 4>It's wild. I opened my mouth and I'm like, I

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<v Speaker 4>could do any run I want to, and not to

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<v Speaker 4>show off, I'm just I never could do that before.

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<v Speaker 4>And I never thought my voice was my calling card

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<v Speaker 4>or my talent. I was always like, my songwriting is

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<v Speaker 4>what is my strength, and my voice is good and

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<v Speaker 4>it can carry these wonderful songs. But I'm surprised, so

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<v Speaker 4>of course other people are surprised.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, how do you explain that?

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<v Speaker 4>Then people have asked me, my sister was there last

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<v Speaker 4>night and she hasn't seen me before in maybe ten years,

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<v Speaker 4>and she was, no, that's that can't be true. Seven years.

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<v Speaker 4>That would be awful. She's actually my best friend. Why

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<v Speaker 4>would that be? It was a pandemic. Okay, she saw

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<v Speaker 4>me a Medison Square garden a couple of years, like

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<v Speaker 4>in twenty nineteen, but that was the last real kind

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<v Speaker 4>of shows that I was doing.

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<v Speaker 2>So she.

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<v Speaker 4>Was just shocked, and she was looking at me like

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<v Speaker 4>what is going on? She's listened to me sing our

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<v Speaker 4>whole lives? And I think the way I was trying

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<v Speaker 4>to explain it to her was I think physically, I

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<v Speaker 4>have like a scientific explanation that maybe, and then I

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<v Speaker 4>have a spiritual one. So for both, for any of

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<v Speaker 4>you kind of listeners, I think, scientifically and spiritual and physically,

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<v Speaker 4>what happened? Is it in childbirth and in carrying my

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<v Speaker 4>babies and growing my babies? I think my rib cage, well,

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<v Speaker 4>I know it has it widened, and my diaphragm has dropped,

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<v Speaker 4>and there is actual more power. But spiritually, what I

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<v Speaker 4>think has happened is that this journey that I've been through,

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<v Speaker 4>this dark night of the soul and this from the

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<v Speaker 4>worst thing I've ever faced, brought me into this integration

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<v Speaker 4>with all of me. So it's me holding the dark

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<v Speaker 4>and the light. Before I think I would deny and

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<v Speaker 4>push down a lot of the dark feelings and the

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<v Speaker 4>like stuff that I deemed as negative or bad. And

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<v Speaker 4>I was this fight song girl with her fist in

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<v Speaker 4>the air and tiny and botoxed and like, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>tanned and all the like I'm sorry swearing.

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<v Speaker 1>And you swore the church last night, by the way,

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<v Speaker 1>I really was.

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<v Speaker 4>So I'm told to myself, I'm not going to swear

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<v Speaker 4>and then see, this.

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<v Speaker 3>Is why we're friends. I'm to say, God, literally.

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<v Speaker 4>God, I'm so sorry. But I so I think that

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<v Speaker 4>that's what happened. I think I integrated the dark and

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<v Speaker 4>the light, and that in my voice you can hear it.

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<v Speaker 4>The soul is there, and the depth is there in

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<v Speaker 4>a way that it never was. And there's a freedom.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, you heard me saying that song set me free.

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<v Speaker 4>There's a freedom in feeling like I don't really care.

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<v Speaker 4>I've already been through the hardest thing I could go through.

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<v Speaker 4>I actually, when it comes down to it, don't really

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<v Speaker 4>care what you think. This is for me, and this

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<v Speaker 4>is for me and God, and this is between me

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<v Speaker 4>and you know my songs, and so if you want

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<v Speaker 4>to come along, that's wonderful and I welcome you, but

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not doing it for that anymore.

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<v Speaker 3>Isn't that crazy? We know a little bit about it.

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<v Speaker 2>I know some darkness and coming through the other side

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<v Speaker 2>and when the worst has happened. Yes, and you think

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<v Speaker 2>when you literally hit rock bottom, and I've thought I've

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<v Speaker 2>hit rock bottom before and I actually hit rock bottom

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<v Speaker 2>one hundred.

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<v Speaker 4>My song Mercy starts with saying, there's dirt in my

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<v Speaker 4>nails from scraping the walls. I thought I hit bottom,

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<v Speaker 4>So why am I still falling? It's happened same exact thing.

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<v Speaker 4>You're like, there's more, are you kidding?

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<v Speaker 3>Yep, yeah, yep.

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<v Speaker 2>So it absolutely resonated with both of us, the words

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<v Speaker 2>of mercy, by the way, oh my god, your voice

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<v Speaker 2>and that holy moly. I actually just downloaded it and

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<v Speaker 2>put it on my run playlist because I liked those

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<v Speaker 2>kinds of yes, yes, like you got this and I

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<v Speaker 2>need help, and you know I can't do this alone.

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<v Speaker 2>Like all of those things resonate with so many people,

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<v Speaker 2>but I think especially like listening to your music now

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<v Speaker 2>and having just gone through the journey we went through.

0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.880
<v Speaker 2>And I met you a year after my cancer journey,

0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:25.080
<v Speaker 2>and so your fight song and it was we were

0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:27.760
<v Speaker 2>a good morning America together, and I just you know,

0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:30.640
<v Speaker 2>that was my anthem, and now I think mercy is

0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:34.320
<v Speaker 2>going to be my anthem because enough but.

0:11:34.880 --> 0:11:36.200
<v Speaker 3>Everyone has their moments.

0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:38.800
<v Speaker 2>You don't ever see them coming most of the time,

0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:41.120
<v Speaker 2>and then you have to figure out who you're going

0:11:41.160 --> 0:11:43.040
<v Speaker 2>to be afterwards. But that's why I think your music,

0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:45.120
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I love what you're saying that whole, Like

0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:48.079
<v Speaker 2>here's me crossing zero FUCKX yes, Like when you get

0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:50.720
<v Speaker 2>to a place and it's hard earned, when you can

0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:53.959
<v Speaker 2>give like zero fix, sometimes that's when you're at your best.

0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:58.480
<v Speaker 4>It's so true because the need that I had. And

0:11:58.480 --> 0:12:01.400
<v Speaker 4>then I imagine we all being in an industry where

0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:03.040
<v Speaker 4>where there's like eyes on it and we need to

0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:06.959
<v Speaker 4>please people for our livelihood, right like, and we're being

0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:10.559
<v Speaker 4>told that there are metrics now, like we start off

0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:13.200
<v Speaker 4>doing this because there's joy and love to it, and

0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:16.000
<v Speaker 4>it's like, well, at least for me, there's inspiration and

0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:19.440
<v Speaker 4>there's something calling me to this career. And then you

0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:23.040
<v Speaker 4>have massive success and you know know this too, you two,

0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:26.400
<v Speaker 4>and then it doesn't get to be a just about

0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:30.320
<v Speaker 4>this like dream or wish or wonder into this this

0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:32.480
<v Speaker 4>world anymore. And all of a sudden, there's eyeballs on

0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:34.719
<v Speaker 4>you and there's need for people who are making a

0:12:34.800 --> 0:12:36.680
<v Speaker 4>lot of money off of you, for you to succeed

0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:39.720
<v Speaker 4>and be liked, and so people are telling you how

0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:42.560
<v Speaker 4>you have to be and what you can't be, and

0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:46.400
<v Speaker 4>you can't really be yourself because you're so afraid how

0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:48.920
<v Speaker 4>would what would it? What would happen if I actually

0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:53.360
<v Speaker 4>spoke my truth? And it's just a terrifying place to be.

0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:55.640
<v Speaker 4>So sometimes all of that just needs to fall and

0:12:55.760 --> 0:12:58.760
<v Speaker 4>crash in order for the art to come back and

0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:01.360
<v Speaker 4>for like the true and steadation to come back again.

0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:04.400
<v Speaker 4>And I am so grateful it did, and I'm grateful

0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:08.760
<v Speaker 4>for you guys, honestly, like how incredible that you are. Look,

0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:10.920
<v Speaker 4>you hit the bottom and now you get to be

0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:14.560
<v Speaker 4>zeros given and where do we do now?

0:13:15.360 --> 0:13:15.560
<v Speaker 3>Right?

0:13:15.640 --> 0:13:18.320
<v Speaker 4>It's like amazing, you can write your book, you know

0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:21.200
<v Speaker 4>you can write your story and I feel the same way.

0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:23.559
<v Speaker 4>I'm like just beginning again in a way. Do you

0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:26.680
<v Speaker 4>guys feel like that, like just the beginning in a way,

0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:27.720
<v Speaker 4>our new beginning.

0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:32.640
<v Speaker 1>Well, it's weird that it seems freeing, like you have

0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:35.080
<v Speaker 1>to go through that. Oh I'm finally where I'm supposed

0:13:35.120 --> 0:13:38.200
<v Speaker 1>to be. Oh yes, yes, But did I really have

0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:40.600
<v Speaker 1>to go through? I did?

0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:41.280
<v Speaker 3>You did.

0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:43.400
<v Speaker 4>It's the hero's journey. It's the dark day of the soul.

0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:46.320
<v Speaker 4>It's like Dante's inferno. You had to go through the fire.

0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:50.480
<v Speaker 4>You That is literally how you find the freedom is

0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:52.719
<v Speaker 4>the falling to your knees and not being able to

0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.520
<v Speaker 4>take it anymore and crying mercy and being like enough,

0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:57.959
<v Speaker 4>that is the only way to find the enlightened self

0:13:58.000 --> 0:13:59.240
<v Speaker 4>of like freedom.

0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.760
<v Speaker 1>But yes, it sucks, so sucks.

0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:05.800
<v Speaker 2>It sucks. It sucks even more than you think. It's

0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:07.960
<v Speaker 2>oh God, like you think, how did I get here?

0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:11.319
<v Speaker 2>I know, I know, especially when you like, I love

0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:14.680
<v Speaker 2>how you described yourself like positive, like you know, like yes,

0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:17.920
<v Speaker 2>and everyone looks to you for the hope and inspiration

0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:21.080
<v Speaker 2>and you're like, no, I need okay, I'm not I'm

0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:22.880
<v Speaker 2>not okay, You guys.

0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:23.520
<v Speaker 4>Gotter find someone else?

0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:27.160
<v Speaker 1>Did we tell you every single one of our episodes

0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:28.560
<v Speaker 1>turned into a therapy.

0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:32.480
<v Speaker 4>Session when you were doing something right? That is what

0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:34.240
<v Speaker 4>we need more than anything in the world.

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:45.800
<v Speaker 1>Do you remember a point to the point you just

0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:47.960
<v Speaker 1>made about me with somebody was trying to get you

0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:50.520
<v Speaker 1>to be something else? What was there? Can you point

0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:55.720
<v Speaker 1>to a portion of your career, or even particular songs

0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:58.120
<v Speaker 1>or an album to where it wasn't really you where

0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:01.280
<v Speaker 1>you were trying to be something somebody else was trying

0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:02.040
<v Speaker 1>to get you to be.

0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:04.600
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm actually so glad you asked me that, because

0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:06.720
<v Speaker 4>I don't know if I've gotten to speak about it publicly.

0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:10.000
<v Speaker 4>You know, friends and family know how I feel. But yeah,

0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:13.640
<v Speaker 4>my second album, and it feels so common the story.

0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.960
<v Speaker 4>You know, It's like you make your first album in

0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:19.600
<v Speaker 4>your garage or in your bedroom and no one's really

0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:22.360
<v Speaker 4>involved in it. And for Fight Song, I wrote it

0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:25.720
<v Speaker 4>basically by myself wandering the city, wandering New York City

0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:30.000
<v Speaker 4>and like just desperate to follow this dream. And it

0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:32.480
<v Speaker 4>was so true and so honest, and all those songs

0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:35.120
<v Speaker 4>were so no one was paying attention. I was playing

0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:37.120
<v Speaker 4>to like three people in a bar. I wasn't thinking

0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:39.720
<v Speaker 4>about what people needed from me. I wasn't anyone you know,

0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:42.960
<v Speaker 4>I don't care what they need from me. And then

0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:47.200
<v Speaker 4>all of a sudden, you have eyes on you and expectations,

0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:51.000
<v Speaker 4>and like I said, a company that's putting a lot

0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:53.440
<v Speaker 4>of money behind you, and a lot of companies putting

0:15:53.440 --> 0:15:56.479
<v Speaker 4>a lot of money behind you, and there's just internalized.

0:15:56.520 --> 0:16:00.960
<v Speaker 4>It wasn't like anyone outrights although that's actually don't you. Oh,

0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:04.800
<v Speaker 4>I'll contact the I'll protect the people that aren't here.

0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:07.840
<v Speaker 4>But you know, in the for the for the most part,

0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:12.320
<v Speaker 4>it was internalized feeling of like, oh, okay, I now

0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:15.040
<v Speaker 4>need to start competing, Like this is now not about

0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:18.200
<v Speaker 4>me channeling God and my what I believe is my

0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:21.040
<v Speaker 4>mission in the world, or you know, healing myself through

0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:24.440
<v Speaker 4>my songwriting. Now this is about okay. So I'm number

0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:26.400
<v Speaker 4>five on the billbirder, how do I get to number one?

0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:29.000
<v Speaker 4>And who's number four, three, two and one? Okay? And

0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:30.920
<v Speaker 4>it's the massive names that you know. So now no

0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:33.560
<v Speaker 4>longer am I like in the circle of bleakers peat

0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:35.920
<v Speaker 4>musicians we're all cheering each other on. Now I'm like

0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:38.920
<v Speaker 4>comparing myself to the biggest superstars in the world. And

0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:41.240
<v Speaker 4>of course I can't do I don't know how to

0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:42.880
<v Speaker 4>do that. All I know what it do is be me.

0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:45.800
<v Speaker 4>And so I'm like, oh, well, I shouldn't. I mean,

0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.440
<v Speaker 4>the most ridiculous thing is that I stopped playing the

0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:52.360
<v Speaker 4>piano live. Wow, Like, what the dick was going on

0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:55.760
<v Speaker 4>with that? Why would I ever get off the piano?

0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:57.760
<v Speaker 4>But I felt like, and I think it was I

0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:02.560
<v Speaker 4>was told that I needed to start dancing. I am

0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:04.960
<v Speaker 4>not a dancer. I go to a dance class every

0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:07.840
<v Speaker 4>Tuesday because I want to crack up at myself. I

0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:10.159
<v Speaker 4>am the worst. I'm in the back. I'm so awkward,

0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:11.720
<v Speaker 4>and I just think it's so funny. And I bring

0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:14.400
<v Speaker 4>my friends and they laughing and it is so fun.

0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:21.439
<v Speaker 4>But I I should not be dancing on stage. I

0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:23.879
<v Speaker 4>am a piano player. I've been classically trained since I

0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:26.639
<v Speaker 4>was seven years old, sorry, six years old. Why the

0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:28.880
<v Speaker 4>dick did I get off the piano? And and I

0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:32.119
<v Speaker 4>just it was so confusing to me. I thought I

0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:35.880
<v Speaker 4>had to be this thing. I had to be skinnier

0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:40.160
<v Speaker 4>and wear tinier clothes and write, get injections and botox,

0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:42.240
<v Speaker 4>which I stopped doing all that like five years ago.

0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:44.640
<v Speaker 1>Did you dance for a while, Yeah, I dance.

0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:46.560
<v Speaker 4>Call it dancing.

0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:48.080
<v Speaker 1>I danced in some shows.

0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:52.040
<v Speaker 4>Yes, really yes. It's so embarrassing, it's so silly. It's

0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:56.040
<v Speaker 4>like I actually cringe thinking about it. What was I doing?

0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:58.560
<v Speaker 4>Why wasn't I playing my instruments?

0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:00.879
<v Speaker 2>Because someone is telling you what you have to do

0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:03.760
<v Speaker 2>to be more successful, yes, or to be marketed the

0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:04.840
<v Speaker 2>way they want you to be.

0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:08.440
<v Speaker 4>And well what really? I remember what got it really

0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:12.359
<v Speaker 4>internalized was what happened was after fight Song and this

0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:16.440
<v Speaker 4>massive wave, and I wanted to be All of a sudden,

0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:18.680
<v Speaker 4>I was like, well, I don't want to be perceived

0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:21.879
<v Speaker 4>as like this hopeful, inspirational. I want to be cool.

0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:26.439
<v Speaker 4>And I remember being obsessed with that idea of cool,

0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:29.399
<v Speaker 4>which is so funny. It felt like it must have

0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:31.119
<v Speaker 4>been a much younger me, because I haven't felt that

0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:33.959
<v Speaker 4>way since middle school, but just this need of like

0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.480
<v Speaker 4>how do I what's cool? How do I be cool?

0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:41.240
<v Speaker 4>And who's cool? Oh? Like Halsey school at the time,

0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:42.959
<v Speaker 4>you know, I don't know how do I be like that?

0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:45.320
<v Speaker 4>And I gotta be moody. I have to stop smiling.

0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:48.120
<v Speaker 4>I should dance and wear like and you should see

0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:51.560
<v Speaker 4>these promo pictures from my second album, I'm like sad

0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:53.320
<v Speaker 4>in a desert with like a fur coat on. My

0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:56.639
<v Speaker 4>husband was like levelessly making fun of me. He's just

0:18:56.720 --> 0:19:00.280
<v Speaker 4>walking moodily through a desert and fur like always just

0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:04.560
<v Speaker 4>like so so unnatural, I'm so silly and so the

0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:08.480
<v Speaker 4>whole second album. While look, they were true. They were

0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:11.080
<v Speaker 4>true to an extent. They were, you know, truth because

0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:13.000
<v Speaker 4>my songwriting was always a place I come home in

0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:15.440
<v Speaker 4>the studio, I always come home to myself. But there

0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:17.680
<v Speaker 4>was a deeper level of truth that I couldn't access

0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:19.640
<v Speaker 4>because if I was telling the truth, the real truth

0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:23.000
<v Speaker 4>at the time, it would be a scream of get

0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:26.199
<v Speaker 4>away from me, what is happening. I'm so scared, I

0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:28.679
<v Speaker 4>feel so alone, I feel like this could all go away.

0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.960
<v Speaker 4>And I didn't tell that truth because I wasn't I

0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:35.320
<v Speaker 4>didn't understand what I was feeling at the time. So yeah,

0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:37.240
<v Speaker 4>I would say my second album, while I really love

0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:39.479
<v Speaker 4>it and it's a bop and there's really fun songs

0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:43.920
<v Speaker 4>on it, my god, it it was not truly who

0:19:43.960 --> 0:19:44.880
<v Speaker 4>I am. I don't think.

0:19:45.080 --> 0:19:47.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things when you

0:19:47.480 --> 0:19:50.040
<v Speaker 2>you work really hard to have this high level of success.

0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:52.520
<v Speaker 3>You hit the success. Now it's like, how do I

0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:53.600
<v Speaker 3>keep the success?

0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:56.520
<v Speaker 4>Exactly? How do I want horrifying? Like it might leave

0:19:56.600 --> 0:19:59.240
<v Speaker 4>after fifteen years exactly. I was playing in the city.

0:19:59.600 --> 0:20:01.640
<v Speaker 4>Most people know the story by now, But if you don't,

0:20:02.240 --> 0:20:03.960
<v Speaker 4>Fight Song didn't just come out of nowhere like it

0:20:04.000 --> 0:20:06.600
<v Speaker 4>seemed to. I was touring in a van. I mean,

0:20:06.640 --> 0:20:09.840
<v Speaker 4>I'm a true road dog musician. I was sleeping in

0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:13.440
<v Speaker 4>my van. I was playing in house concerts and bars,

0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:15.560
<v Speaker 4>and you know, I was my own booking agent. I

0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:18.400
<v Speaker 4>was hungry and an independent musician. I was selling CDs

0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:20.800
<v Speaker 4>out of my suitcase in the back of my van,

0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:23.199
<v Speaker 4>and like that's how I was building my career. And

0:20:23.200 --> 0:20:26.360
<v Speaker 4>that's where fight Song was born from. And then fight

0:20:26.440 --> 0:20:29.320
<v Speaker 4>Song was just and then like, oh no, stop wearing

0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:31.720
<v Speaker 4>your jeans and leather jackets, like go get glam and

0:20:31.760 --> 0:20:35.199
<v Speaker 4>eyelashes and lose weight and do this and like so anyway,

0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:37.000
<v Speaker 4>I don't even know, I.

0:20:36.920 --> 0:20:39.000
<v Speaker 3>Said, well, we'll just think of the successive fight song

0:20:39.080 --> 0:20:41.000
<v Speaker 3>I think carried you. By the way. I have a

0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:43.159
<v Speaker 3>question for you. Did you perform at the bitter End.

0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:47.840
<v Speaker 4>So many times? So many times? It was every show

0:20:47.880 --> 0:20:51.400
<v Speaker 4>in New York was like very special in the beginning

0:20:51.480 --> 0:20:55.000
<v Speaker 4>because I until I started learning how to really like

0:20:55.040 --> 0:20:56.879
<v Speaker 4>go to the school of New York music, which is

0:20:57.359 --> 0:21:00.840
<v Speaker 4>you play whenever and wherever someone will let you. Because

0:21:00.880 --> 0:21:04.640
<v Speaker 4>my parents stopped supplementing my rent at like twenty four

0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:06.520
<v Speaker 4>makes you hungry, right yep, And I was like, and

0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:08.920
<v Speaker 4>my dad was like, look, I love you, but honey,

0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:11.199
<v Speaker 4>if I keep helping you, you're never going to do this.

0:21:11.359 --> 0:21:14.159
<v Speaker 4>And I was so scared because I had to, like

0:21:14.160 --> 0:21:16.040
<v Speaker 4>your daughters, I had to waitress on the side, and

0:21:16.080 --> 0:21:19.320
<v Speaker 4>I played from one am to four am, and I

0:21:19.400 --> 0:21:21.960
<v Speaker 4>just hustled, and I sang commercials in the morning. And

0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:27.879
<v Speaker 4>I so until I learned that kind of work ethic

0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:31.000
<v Speaker 4>and that kind of hunger. Every show in New York

0:21:31.080 --> 0:21:33.640
<v Speaker 4>like the Bitter end Ones, those my Bitter end days.

0:21:33.680 --> 0:21:35.639
<v Speaker 4>They were so special, and I'd like invite all my

0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:37.840
<v Speaker 4>college friends. And I did have quite a following because

0:21:37.880 --> 0:21:44.520
<v Speaker 4>I was a nice girl in college, you know, and

0:21:44.600 --> 0:21:47.479
<v Speaker 4>I had friends come, and so the places would let me,

0:21:47.800 --> 0:21:49.119
<v Speaker 4>let me, would book me, yeah.

0:21:49.000 --> 0:21:51.320
<v Speaker 3>Because then you could bring people into the bar, right.

0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:53.440
<v Speaker 4>Exactly, you know, young people into the bar. But then

0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:55.640
<v Speaker 4>it wasn't enough because I was making like a couple

0:21:55.720 --> 0:21:57.600
<v Speaker 4>hundred dollars, So I had to figure out, well, how

0:21:57.600 --> 0:21:58.399
<v Speaker 4>do I really do this?

0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:01.720
<v Speaker 1>How do you write? You were you wrote fight song

0:22:01.880 --> 0:22:04.080
<v Speaker 1>just kind of wandering around the streets of New York.

0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:07.040
<v Speaker 1>How does a song like that come about? Are you

0:22:07.119 --> 0:22:08.879
<v Speaker 1>kind of humming in your head? Are you sitting at

0:22:08.880 --> 0:22:11.119
<v Speaker 1>a piano with a melody? Are you writing the lyrics?

0:22:11.400 --> 0:22:12.560
<v Speaker 1>How did that song come about?

0:22:13.119 --> 0:22:16.679
<v Speaker 4>That song took so much to write. I think because

0:22:16.760 --> 0:22:21.280
<v Speaker 4>I probably subconsciously knew that it was going to break

0:22:21.320 --> 0:22:25.520
<v Speaker 4>me open into the world. It was going to let

0:22:25.560 --> 0:22:27.399
<v Speaker 4>me finally be seen, and I think I was a

0:22:27.440 --> 0:22:29.440
<v Speaker 4>little scared to be seen. So it took two years

0:22:29.480 --> 0:22:33.040
<v Speaker 4>to write. And the first beginning of it came very quickly,

0:22:33.840 --> 0:22:35.840
<v Speaker 4>the way that I described most of my songs last

0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:40.719
<v Speaker 4>night channeled in a studio, instantly coming through like oh,

0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:42.800
<v Speaker 4>but it was a little it was a little like

0:22:42.920 --> 0:22:45.600
<v Speaker 4>marching beat kind of was strange. Before I was like,

0:22:45.960 --> 0:22:49.320
<v Speaker 4>this is my fight song. Time to dig back. And

0:22:49.960 --> 0:22:52.560
<v Speaker 4>then I wrestled with the rest of it for two years. Wow,

0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:57.360
<v Speaker 4>I know, I know, it was crazy, and I had

0:22:57.400 --> 0:23:01.000
<v Speaker 4>so many different verses. No producer would produce sit because

0:23:01.080 --> 0:23:03.800
<v Speaker 4>I was a nobody, and so I finally had to

0:23:03.960 --> 0:23:07.639
<v Speaker 4>learn pro tools myself. I went to garage band on

0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:12.240
<v Speaker 4>Fourteenth Street. I like hired some sweet looking nerd. Was like, no,

0:23:12.280 --> 0:23:14.400
<v Speaker 4>I'm kidding. I was. I was the nerd, I mean

0:23:14.800 --> 0:23:18.960
<v Speaker 4>no like, and we just geeked out for hours in

0:23:19.040 --> 0:23:22.960
<v Speaker 4>my tiny, you know, walk up fourth floor apartment, and

0:23:23.040 --> 0:23:25.560
<v Speaker 4>I learned pro tools and I learned how to produce

0:23:25.600 --> 0:23:27.800
<v Speaker 4>it myself so that I could finally let it be heard.

0:23:27.840 --> 0:23:31.600
<v Speaker 4>But that process, that whole thing took two years. And so, yeah,

0:23:31.600 --> 0:23:34.719
<v Speaker 4>I was wandering through the city with versions of it

0:23:34.760 --> 0:23:37.040
<v Speaker 4>in my ears. I was on the piano trying to

0:23:37.040 --> 0:23:40.119
<v Speaker 4>figure out I was humming it wherever I was. I

0:23:40.160 --> 0:23:41.560
<v Speaker 4>was just wrestling with it.

0:23:42.040 --> 0:23:42.199
<v Speaker 2>Was it?

0:23:42.240 --> 0:23:46.080
<v Speaker 1>Were you wrestling with the lyrics? Was that melody always there?

0:23:46.119 --> 0:23:46.359
<v Speaker 2>No?

0:23:46.359 --> 0:23:48.840
<v Speaker 4>No, no, none of it was always there? No, it

0:23:48.840 --> 0:23:52.920
<v Speaker 4>has changed so much. Maybe an interesting thing would be

0:23:53.000 --> 0:23:54.479
<v Speaker 4>to release some earlier versions.

0:23:54.640 --> 0:23:56.520
<v Speaker 1>It would be Yeah, I was about to ask you

0:23:56.560 --> 0:23:58.560
<v Speaker 1>to give us an earlier version. Now, is there any

0:23:58.560 --> 0:23:59.600
<v Speaker 1>earlier version? You can remember it?

0:23:59.600 --> 0:24:03.400
<v Speaker 4>Because you tons there are so many? Oh wow, there

0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:05.720
<v Speaker 4>are so many. I had. I had like ten different

0:24:05.800 --> 0:24:09.679
<v Speaker 4>verses and the bridge now is the first verse, But

0:24:09.760 --> 0:24:13.480
<v Speaker 4>that was the bridge until the person that I finally

0:24:13.520 --> 0:24:15.879
<v Speaker 4>produced it with, John Levigne, said hey, I think that

0:24:15.920 --> 0:24:17.479
<v Speaker 4>should be the first person. I was like, but it's

0:24:17.560 --> 0:24:20.600
<v Speaker 4>the bridge, Like, what are you talking about talking about?

0:24:20.800 --> 0:24:22.320
<v Speaker 4>It sounded like my Boston.

0:24:23.840 --> 0:24:24.160
<v Speaker 3>I mean.

0:24:24.240 --> 0:24:27.600
<v Speaker 2>And then for it to become the anthem it became

0:24:27.800 --> 0:24:30.440
<v Speaker 2>for cancer like it they just it just so happened

0:24:30.480 --> 0:24:33.760
<v Speaker 2>to be right along my journey, and it was. I

0:24:33.800 --> 0:24:37.520
<v Speaker 2>have had so many runs where I've had that song

0:24:37.840 --> 0:24:42.120
<v Speaker 2>on repeat, and I've cried through my runs seeing where

0:24:42.160 --> 0:24:46.480
<v Speaker 2>I was, how I got through it. I don't cry,

0:24:46.600 --> 0:24:50.120
<v Speaker 2>but your friends, you know what, but your songs are

0:24:50.200 --> 0:24:52.040
<v Speaker 2>so true and that was like that's when you know,

0:24:52.080 --> 0:24:54.960
<v Speaker 2>like you can't even stop the tears because they ring

0:24:55.040 --> 0:24:57.359
<v Speaker 2>so true for you. But like you had to have

0:24:57.400 --> 0:25:00.560
<v Speaker 2>been blown away when you were writing it. I couldn't

0:25:00.600 --> 0:25:03.520
<v Speaker 2>have known that this would become the anthem. It became

0:25:03.560 --> 0:25:06.480
<v Speaker 2>for so many people, not just cancer patients, but specifically

0:25:06.480 --> 0:25:09.800
<v Speaker 2>cancer patients, anyone who was going through something really tough

0:25:10.000 --> 0:25:12.359
<v Speaker 2>where they had to fight and find strength that they

0:25:12.359 --> 0:25:13.120
<v Speaker 2>didn't know they had.

0:25:13.720 --> 0:25:16.679
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it was it's pretty mind blowing what happened, and

0:25:17.440 --> 0:25:20.119
<v Speaker 4>it's it's wild. It's so much bigger than me, you know.

0:25:20.200 --> 0:25:23.360
<v Speaker 4>It's it's like it's just been such a journey, and

0:25:23.640 --> 0:25:25.920
<v Speaker 4>I think part of the thing that I'm trying now

0:25:26.640 --> 0:25:29.600
<v Speaker 4>to almost climb out from under it because it's so

0:25:29.840 --> 0:25:33.439
<v Speaker 4>massive and people have made their decisions about who is

0:25:33.480 --> 0:25:35.439
<v Speaker 4>that artist and who is the writer of it. They

0:25:35.480 --> 0:25:37.240
<v Speaker 4>don't even know it's me. Some people think it's Taylor

0:25:37.280 --> 0:25:43.399
<v Speaker 4>Swift or you know, Christina or Colby Perry Swift, everyone's

0:25:43.480 --> 0:25:46.680
<v Speaker 4>Kelly Clarkson. Everyone's like, it's not her, who's that? Or

0:25:46.720 --> 0:25:48.520
<v Speaker 4>they think I'm just the writer, or they think I'm

0:25:48.560 --> 0:25:50.399
<v Speaker 4>just the artist, and I'm like, no, no, no, I

0:25:50.440 --> 0:25:52.640
<v Speaker 4>wrote this by myself. I performed it and produced it.

0:25:53.000 --> 0:25:54.879
<v Speaker 4>But so I'm trying to climb out from under that

0:25:55.000 --> 0:25:59.800
<v Speaker 4>a massive thing now. And that's why until maybe you

0:26:00.119 --> 0:26:02.879
<v Speaker 4>see me, it's hard to change, to understand that there's

0:26:02.960 --> 0:26:06.160
<v Speaker 4>more to it. People have really decided what I am

0:26:06.240 --> 0:26:10.000
<v Speaker 4>and what it is. So I think my job now

0:26:10.119 --> 0:26:12.280
<v Speaker 4>is to just be as honest and truthful and authentic

0:26:12.280 --> 0:26:15.560
<v Speaker 4>as I can, and hopefully people will open the curtain

0:26:15.560 --> 0:26:17.719
<v Speaker 4>a little more and look behind and say, wait a second,

0:26:18.480 --> 0:26:19.320
<v Speaker 4>who is there.

0:26:19.480 --> 0:26:23.720
<v Speaker 1>To that point that concert last night, you could have

0:26:24.160 --> 0:26:29.440
<v Speaker 1>ended that concert before playing fight Song, and I'd have

0:26:29.480 --> 0:26:33.639
<v Speaker 1>been just as happy as I didn't need that song

0:26:33.800 --> 0:26:38.359
<v Speaker 1>to be satiated about an experience with Rachel Platt. And

0:26:38.440 --> 0:26:41.600
<v Speaker 1>I think more people that get in front to get

0:26:41.640 --> 0:26:45.440
<v Speaker 1>to see you live. Man, you forget about no offense,

0:26:46.040 --> 0:26:48.000
<v Speaker 1>but you forget it. But you said it in a

0:26:48.000 --> 0:26:49.720
<v Speaker 1>way last night fight Song. You said, people ask you

0:26:49.760 --> 0:26:51.200
<v Speaker 1>all the time you ever get tired of performing it?

0:26:51.280 --> 0:26:53.280
<v Speaker 1>I know you do it constantly. You said, Hey, that

0:26:53.400 --> 0:26:58.000
<v Speaker 1>song pay for my house. So I enjoyed that song.

0:26:58.040 --> 0:27:01.439
<v Speaker 1>But it seems to take so much motion energy to

0:27:01.520 --> 0:27:03.560
<v Speaker 1>belt that song out and to perform it. How do

0:27:03.680 --> 0:27:08.800
<v Speaker 1>you get that? It seems like, oh it doesn't no, no.

0:27:08.720 --> 0:27:11.520
<v Speaker 4>It's a joy, okay, just like the easy I no, no, no,

0:27:11.560 --> 0:27:13.960
<v Speaker 4>It's like it's like breathing. It's so easy for me

0:27:14.040 --> 0:27:16.719
<v Speaker 4>and not to be like I'm so great. But it

0:27:16.800 --> 0:27:19.240
<v Speaker 4>the way that I perform it now is with such

0:27:19.760 --> 0:27:22.520
<v Speaker 4>like such wisdom. You know, I'm not the maiden anymore.

0:27:22.520 --> 0:27:24.920
<v Speaker 4>I'm the mother, and I'm I'm kind of looking back

0:27:24.920 --> 0:27:26.960
<v Speaker 4>with love at the little girl that felt that way

0:27:26.960 --> 0:27:28.800
<v Speaker 4>that she needed to crawl and climb her way up.

0:27:28.840 --> 0:27:31.000
<v Speaker 4>And we all have fights, you know, like we still

0:27:31.400 --> 0:27:33.960
<v Speaker 4>I have things that I want to reclaim. And you're

0:27:34.040 --> 0:27:35.959
<v Speaker 4>right though the rest of my concert now tells that

0:27:36.000 --> 0:27:38.119
<v Speaker 4>story already, So by the time you get there, you

0:27:38.200 --> 0:27:41.600
<v Speaker 4>don't from a the Mattic point need I've already given

0:27:41.640 --> 0:27:44.879
<v Speaker 4>you a different kind of encouragement that's almost deeper and

0:27:44.920 --> 0:27:47.359
<v Speaker 4>more earned, because I've taken you to the dark and

0:27:47.400 --> 0:27:49.040
<v Speaker 4>then let you come back to the light with me,

0:27:49.800 --> 0:27:54.280
<v Speaker 4>and so you believe me more. And I'm really proud

0:27:54.280 --> 0:27:56.440
<v Speaker 4>that I'll always get to play that song. Maybe there's

0:27:56.440 --> 0:27:58.439
<v Speaker 4>a day I don't need to close the concert with it,

0:27:58.800 --> 0:28:02.280
<v Speaker 4>but yeah, no, I I love it. I love playing it.

0:28:02.280 --> 0:28:04.880
<v Speaker 4>It doesn't take anything from me. It means so much

0:28:04.960 --> 0:28:06.879
<v Speaker 4>to me to see people crying in the audience, like

0:28:07.320 --> 0:28:10.159
<v Speaker 4>it's so beautiful, It's so beautiful, what's happened with it?

0:28:10.240 --> 0:28:14.199
<v Speaker 4>So I'll never I'll never, I'll never look at it

0:28:14.240 --> 0:28:16.760
<v Speaker 4>with anything but love and admiration and gratitude. But I

0:28:16.800 --> 0:28:18.479
<v Speaker 4>do feel like it's so much bigger than me and

0:28:18.520 --> 0:28:19.160
<v Speaker 4>not even mine.

0:28:19.240 --> 0:28:21.320
<v Speaker 1>But you're right, it is. It's joy that comes out.

0:28:21.359 --> 0:28:24.000
<v Speaker 4>But it's just it seems a lot of energy, I know,

0:28:25.080 --> 0:28:25.440
<v Speaker 4>and it.

0:28:25.359 --> 0:28:28.280
<v Speaker 1>Was I can't remember the song last night, but people

0:28:28.320 --> 0:28:30.760
<v Speaker 1>started in the audience were putting their arms around each other.

0:28:33.680 --> 0:28:36.760
<v Speaker 2>I also listen to that on repeat as well. I

0:28:36.800 --> 0:28:38.600
<v Speaker 2>know a lot of people you said in the audience

0:28:38.760 --> 0:28:40.200
<v Speaker 2>got that was their wedding song.

0:28:40.560 --> 0:28:42.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, which I totally get.

0:28:42.600 --> 0:28:42.800
<v Speaker 4>Is that?

0:28:42.960 --> 0:28:43.440
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god?

0:28:43.520 --> 0:28:47.200
<v Speaker 2>It's you know what's so beautiful about your music is

0:28:47.680 --> 0:28:51.880
<v Speaker 2>it really is? The songwriting comes through, and your intention

0:28:52.080 --> 0:28:57.280
<v Speaker 2>comes through, and the warmth and authenticity of your voice

0:28:57.400 --> 0:29:00.440
<v Speaker 2>just it's so powerful, and so I see why people

0:29:00.480 --> 0:29:00.960
<v Speaker 2>chose that for.

0:29:00.880 --> 0:29:02.360
<v Speaker 3>The wedding song. I'm like, oh my god, that is

0:29:02.400 --> 0:29:03.520
<v Speaker 3>the perfect wedding song.

0:29:03.880 --> 0:29:04.760
<v Speaker 1>We should use that one.

0:29:05.000 --> 0:29:09.880
<v Speaker 4>We should, guys, what news being made here?

0:29:10.320 --> 0:29:12.760
<v Speaker 1>No, it's just it should be on the list that

0:29:12.920 --> 0:29:15.560
<v Speaker 1>it should be an option perform.

0:29:17.080 --> 0:29:21.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that should be like when you suppose we should

0:29:21.600 --> 0:29:24.480
<v Speaker 2>have Rachel be there, surprise me and sing the song

0:29:25.680 --> 0:29:27.160
<v Speaker 2>just forget anything you heard.

0:29:29.000 --> 0:29:29.800
<v Speaker 3>All a surprise.

0:29:29.880 --> 0:29:30.280
<v Speaker 4>That's cool.

0:29:30.640 --> 0:29:43.840
<v Speaker 2>Cool. Obviously the music you have now and this beautiful.

0:29:44.800 --> 0:29:47.680
<v Speaker 2>You've got three new hits, but you're still creating an album. Correct,

0:29:47.720 --> 0:29:48.960
<v Speaker 2>there's an album that's going done.

0:29:49.080 --> 0:29:50.440
<v Speaker 4>It's done, Yeah, yeah, yah, it's done.

0:29:50.480 --> 0:29:51.600
<v Speaker 3>When is that being released?

0:29:52.080 --> 0:29:53.640
<v Speaker 4>I'm not sure when this is coming out, or if

0:29:53.680 --> 0:29:56.840
<v Speaker 4>I'll have announced it, I will not have announced it yet.

0:29:57.600 --> 0:30:01.520
<v Speaker 4>So soon yes, yes, yes, soon soon than you might imagine.

0:30:01.640 --> 0:30:03.760
<v Speaker 3>Wow, that's very exciting.

0:30:03.800 --> 0:30:04.520
<v Speaker 4>What a dumb phrase?

0:30:04.560 --> 0:30:07.680
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, but tell me.

0:30:07.800 --> 0:30:10.520
<v Speaker 2>So, you're You've been very outspoken, and I know so

0:30:10.600 --> 0:30:14.480
<v Speaker 2>many women are so grateful about your postpartum depression and

0:30:14.520 --> 0:30:18.200
<v Speaker 2>your mental health struggles and just going through it, not

0:30:18.360 --> 0:30:20.160
<v Speaker 2>just once, but the second time as well, because it

0:30:20.160 --> 0:30:22.600
<v Speaker 2>doesn't always happen with every pregnancy. You unfortunately had a

0:30:22.600 --> 0:30:27.560
<v Speaker 2>one two punch. Do you still have those really dark days?

0:30:27.600 --> 0:30:27.920
<v Speaker 3>Are you?

0:30:28.080 --> 0:30:31.520
<v Speaker 2>Are you pasted it? Are you through it? Give us

0:30:31.520 --> 0:30:33.280
<v Speaker 2>a sense of where you are on that journey.

0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:36.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that's so kind of you to ask. I am.

0:30:36.640 --> 0:30:39.440
<v Speaker 4>I'm so proud to be through it. And I have

0:30:39.560 --> 0:30:44.160
<v Speaker 4>worked so hard in therapy and in saving my own

0:30:44.200 --> 0:30:47.000
<v Speaker 4>life in so many ways. I also, what I have

0:30:47.160 --> 0:30:50.040
<v Speaker 4>not really talked publicly about is that after the post

0:30:50.080 --> 0:30:53.600
<v Speaker 4>part partum I struggled with a two year chronic pain journey.

0:30:54.120 --> 0:30:56.320
<v Speaker 4>And so I just have such deep empathy for the

0:30:56.360 --> 0:30:57.880
<v Speaker 4>people now who come up to me and tell me

0:30:57.920 --> 0:31:00.960
<v Speaker 4>their stories. I really I felt like I always had

0:31:01.000 --> 0:31:04.360
<v Speaker 4>love for them, but now I just relate on such

0:31:04.400 --> 0:31:07.560
<v Speaker 4>a deeper level. My mom overcame cancer this year. I

0:31:07.600 --> 0:31:09.920
<v Speaker 4>just feel like I've run the gamut all right, but

0:31:10.200 --> 0:31:13.600
<v Speaker 4>I am through it, and I wouldn't be releasing the

0:31:13.680 --> 0:31:16.400
<v Speaker 4>music if I wasn't. I didn't feel ready. I wrote

0:31:16.440 --> 0:31:19.200
<v Speaker 4>Bad Thoughts in twenty twenty, but I was not ready,

0:31:19.240 --> 0:31:21.480
<v Speaker 4>and I was still suffering for a long time, and

0:31:21.520 --> 0:31:25.760
<v Speaker 4>so it took me a while to be strong enough

0:31:25.880 --> 0:31:31.160
<v Speaker 4>and kind of accepting enough of my journey and where

0:31:31.160 --> 0:31:34.640
<v Speaker 4>i'd been that it wasn't retriggering the trauma, because that

0:31:34.760 --> 0:31:36.920
<v Speaker 4>happened just a little bit when when I released Mercy

0:31:36.920 --> 0:31:40.680
<v Speaker 4>in January, I had some like flare ups of chronic

0:31:40.720 --> 0:31:43.200
<v Speaker 4>pain because it was a little bit retriggering until I

0:31:43.320 --> 0:31:45.720
<v Speaker 4>understood and worked on the fact that, like, no, I'm

0:31:45.760 --> 0:31:48.200
<v Speaker 4>not back there. Just because I'm singing this doesn't mean

0:31:48.240 --> 0:31:50.400
<v Speaker 4>I'm back there on the floor of my studio that night,

0:31:51.000 --> 0:31:54.560
<v Speaker 4>sobbing and terrified. I'm going to look at this as

0:31:54.920 --> 0:31:57.640
<v Speaker 4>a storytelling, you know, more of a place that I

0:31:57.680 --> 0:32:01.880
<v Speaker 4>had been, and I'm going to relate to you with love.

0:32:01.920 --> 0:32:03.800
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to relate with love to the Rachel that

0:32:03.840 --> 0:32:06.400
<v Speaker 4>I was that day and I'm going to share the

0:32:06.440 --> 0:32:09.520
<v Speaker 4>emotion from a place where I'm able to witness it

0:32:09.600 --> 0:32:12.120
<v Speaker 4>and embody it, if that makes sense. Have you guys

0:32:12.160 --> 0:32:13.560
<v Speaker 4>ever done any inner child work?

0:32:14.080 --> 0:32:14.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:32:14.280 --> 0:32:16.240
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I've been in therapy quite a bit.

0:32:16.360 --> 0:32:19.640
<v Speaker 1>Idelchild.

0:32:19.800 --> 0:32:25.800
<v Speaker 4>Wait so you meet all your tjs. No, it's incredible, you.

0:32:25.760 --> 0:32:30.320
<v Speaker 2>Know, And it's unfortunately it takes these these moments where

0:32:30.360 --> 0:32:34.320
<v Speaker 2>you are crippled in every way and you think help,

0:32:34.440 --> 0:32:36.760
<v Speaker 2>I need help. I have to figure out why I'm

0:32:36.800 --> 0:32:39.280
<v Speaker 2>here and how I got here exactly. So that's and

0:32:39.320 --> 0:32:41.080
<v Speaker 2>that's a scary, vulnerable place to be. But when you

0:32:41.080 --> 0:32:45.440
<v Speaker 2>can show it with other people, how how is there

0:32:45.480 --> 0:32:47.800
<v Speaker 2>a way to describe how how bad it got, how

0:32:47.840 --> 0:32:48.480
<v Speaker 2>low you got?

0:32:48.760 --> 0:32:49.120
<v Speaker 3>What was.

0:32:51.520 --> 0:32:54.760
<v Speaker 4>I really feel like if it had not been for

0:32:54.800 --> 0:32:58.080
<v Speaker 4>the support system I had around me, and in particular

0:32:58.720 --> 0:33:00.920
<v Speaker 4>my friend Gabby Bernstein, who I have not talked about

0:33:00.920 --> 0:33:01.960
<v Speaker 4>this either, Dino Gabby.

0:33:03.160 --> 0:33:06.040
<v Speaker 2>I've read all of her books, I've listened to all

0:33:06.040 --> 0:33:07.880
<v Speaker 2>of her audio books while I run she is.

0:33:07.960 --> 0:33:09.240
<v Speaker 3>I've not personally met.

0:33:09.120 --> 0:33:12.720
<v Speaker 4>Her, but I am a huge fan. As a friend,

0:33:13.160 --> 0:33:18.520
<v Speaker 4>she single handedly lifted me out of because she had

0:33:18.560 --> 0:33:21.200
<v Speaker 4>been through postpartum depression and we had both suffered at

0:33:21.200 --> 0:33:24.479
<v Speaker 4>the same time with our first I had a second

0:33:25.000 --> 0:33:30.080
<v Speaker 4>and I called her and I said, I'm feeling this again,

0:33:30.200 --> 0:33:34.720
<v Speaker 4>and this is what's happening, and she I was resistant

0:33:34.760 --> 0:33:36.920
<v Speaker 4>to medication. I was so scared the first time. I

0:33:36.960 --> 0:33:41.280
<v Speaker 4>didn't need an SSRI. I just was able to kind

0:33:41.280 --> 0:33:45.760
<v Speaker 4>of stay in my little sort of wishy washy view

0:33:45.840 --> 0:33:48.200
<v Speaker 4>of like Eastern medicine versus Western medicine, and I can

0:33:48.240 --> 0:33:50.719
<v Speaker 4>heal myself naturally, and I'll go to get occupuncture and

0:33:51.240 --> 0:33:53.840
<v Speaker 4>Chinese herbs, and I felt almost like a sense of pride,

0:33:53.880 --> 0:33:57.960
<v Speaker 4>like oh, I don't need to actually and I just

0:33:58.000 --> 0:34:00.720
<v Speaker 4>want to hold that girl with love because she was

0:34:00.800 --> 0:34:02.960
<v Speaker 4>hurting and she found a way to help herself. But

0:34:03.520 --> 0:34:06.360
<v Speaker 4>I remember being so resistant and so terrified of like

0:34:06.360 --> 0:34:08.239
<v Speaker 4>does this mean I'm actually crazy if I have to

0:34:08.239 --> 0:34:13.120
<v Speaker 4>start Zoloft or adavan or trasdom. I have so many

0:34:12.920 --> 0:34:16.000
<v Speaker 4>My nice sand became like a fucking like chemists corner.

0:34:16.040 --> 0:34:17.880
<v Speaker 4>I was like, and I was cutting pills. I was like,

0:34:17.920 --> 0:34:19.480
<v Speaker 4>who am I? What is this life?

0:34:19.520 --> 0:34:19.600
<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:34:20.239 --> 0:34:22.239
<v Speaker 4>How am I? I can't sleep without pills? This is

0:34:22.280 --> 0:34:26.800
<v Speaker 4>so scary. And finally, Gabby, but before that happened, Gabby

0:34:26.880 --> 0:34:29.960
<v Speaker 4>called me and was like Rachel, because I was like, Gab, yet,

0:34:30.000 --> 0:34:32.120
<v Speaker 4>I haven't slept in seventy two hours. I can't even

0:34:32.520 --> 0:34:34.799
<v Speaker 4>close my eyes without being terrified. Like I think I

0:34:34.840 --> 0:34:36.520
<v Speaker 4>need to go to mental hospital. I don't know what's happening.

0:34:36.920 --> 0:34:41.359
<v Speaker 4>She was like, Rachel, call your o beach Gyn right now,

0:34:41.520 --> 0:34:44.560
<v Speaker 4>get outa van, which is a Benzo. And like I've

0:34:44.560 --> 0:34:48.600
<v Speaker 4>been on a I called them at a girls to

0:34:49.160 --> 0:34:51.880
<v Speaker 4>gently like find a love of something that was gonna

0:34:51.880 --> 0:34:54.120
<v Speaker 4>heal me when nothing else could. And so now my

0:34:54.239 --> 0:34:58.480
<v Speaker 4>view of western medicine is like, oh, thank God, thank God,

0:34:58.520 --> 0:35:01.600
<v Speaker 4>God made this too. God's to work through anything. God's

0:35:01.600 --> 0:35:05.120
<v Speaker 4>gonna work through medicine or meditation whatever. Hell He's like,

0:35:05.120 --> 0:35:08.440
<v Speaker 4>but but he's in this too. And so she told me,

0:35:08.520 --> 0:35:10.440
<v Speaker 4>go get out of it and take it tonight. I

0:35:10.480 --> 0:35:12.440
<v Speaker 4>promise you will sleep, and then we need to get

0:35:12.440 --> 0:35:15.040
<v Speaker 4>you on an SSRI and you need to get a psychiatrist,

0:35:15.239 --> 0:35:17.839
<v Speaker 4>and you need to get serious about this because you

0:35:17.960 --> 0:35:21.960
<v Speaker 4>will write like you. I don't know how dark it

0:35:21.960 --> 0:35:23.920
<v Speaker 4>could have gotten if not for her and her getting

0:35:23.920 --> 0:35:27.880
<v Speaker 4>through to me. So yeah, I think that not sleeping

0:35:27.920 --> 0:35:30.480
<v Speaker 4>for seventy two hours was the most terrifying and scared

0:35:30.520 --> 0:35:32.960
<v Speaker 4>I've ever been in my life, and it was horrible.

0:35:33.280 --> 0:35:35.120
<v Speaker 1>What is it about you that had you built in

0:35:35.160 --> 0:35:37.279
<v Speaker 1>such a way. I mean your upbringing, maybe your your

0:35:37.400 --> 0:35:41.200
<v Speaker 1>family or something that had you so against getting help.

0:35:41.080 --> 0:35:43.480
<v Speaker 4>Like you feel like my family, I'm from Boston, like

0:35:43.520 --> 0:35:46.319
<v Speaker 4>I'm from Newton. They're so grounded and like I'm not.

0:35:46.480 --> 0:35:48.359
<v Speaker 4>They're not in the LA world at all. We were.

0:35:48.360 --> 0:35:50.360
<v Speaker 4>We always took medicine, and I don't know where the

0:35:50.400 --> 0:35:52.680
<v Speaker 4>hell I think it's LA, Like I think something in

0:35:52.719 --> 0:35:55.920
<v Speaker 4>the every girl goes through her like crystal phase, and

0:35:56.400 --> 0:35:59.840
<v Speaker 4>I'm really someone that's just really eager and excited to

0:35:59.880 --> 0:36:02.759
<v Speaker 4>like like ump jump on board with something. Even to

0:36:02.800 --> 0:36:04.759
<v Speaker 4>this day, like you're like, oh my god, I'm like,

0:36:04.800 --> 0:36:07.680
<v Speaker 4>oh yes, I get even more excited and I'm excitable,

0:36:07.800 --> 0:36:10.600
<v Speaker 4>and I'm like you can convince me of things pretty easily.

0:36:10.680 --> 0:36:11.800
<v Speaker 3>Yea, Oh my god.

0:36:12.520 --> 0:36:15.120
<v Speaker 4>I'm just like really like yeah, I love that idea too.

0:36:15.440 --> 0:36:17.720
<v Speaker 4>And so when I moved to LA that's like around

0:36:17.800 --> 0:36:21.160
<v Speaker 4>when was that like ten years ago? I don't know.

0:36:21.200 --> 0:36:22.800
<v Speaker 4>I feel like a lot of women in my age

0:36:22.880 --> 0:36:24.880
<v Speaker 4>mid thirties, we were all kind of like holding our

0:36:24.920 --> 0:36:27.560
<v Speaker 4>crystals really tight and like cleaning them in the new moon,

0:36:27.680 --> 0:36:30.480
<v Speaker 4>and I don't know what we're doing, and I no offense.

0:36:30.560 --> 0:36:32.960
<v Speaker 4>If that's working for you, that's so beautiful and like,

0:36:33.040 --> 0:36:36.759
<v Speaker 4>bless you because good whatever makes you feel peace is amazing.

0:36:37.320 --> 0:36:39.400
<v Speaker 4>And who can judge each other right now? But for me,

0:36:40.719 --> 0:36:43.600
<v Speaker 4>it wasn't enough when it really when it really hit

0:36:43.680 --> 0:36:48.239
<v Speaker 4>the you know, and I don't know where the idea

0:36:48.320 --> 0:36:50.359
<v Speaker 4>came from. I also am a yogi, like a very

0:36:50.400 --> 0:36:53.040
<v Speaker 4>serious yogi. I love yoga. I was doing it every day.

0:36:53.680 --> 0:36:56.680
<v Speaker 4>I was very into meditation. I still am, but now

0:36:56.760 --> 0:36:59.399
<v Speaker 4>my practices have become much more grounded and they can't

0:36:59.400 --> 0:37:04.759
<v Speaker 4>be like, you know, very very like okay, now we're

0:37:04.800 --> 0:37:06.680
<v Speaker 4>gonna channel in our guides like I can't do that

0:37:06.680 --> 0:37:10.239
<v Speaker 4>anymore because I'll lose my mind. So I probably could now,

0:37:10.280 --> 0:37:13.160
<v Speaker 4>but it would make me dissociate, which is a terrifying

0:37:13.160 --> 0:37:16.000
<v Speaker 4>thing if you've never experienced it. And so now mine

0:37:16.000 --> 0:37:18.279
<v Speaker 4>need to be very grounded. And a new friend of

0:37:18.280 --> 0:37:21.399
<v Speaker 4>mine is Elizabeth Gilbert. Do you guys, yes, love her?

0:37:21.840 --> 0:37:24.760
<v Speaker 3>You pray love. I mean, she's incredible, He's amazing.

0:37:24.800 --> 0:37:25.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't roll in these circles.

0:37:31.040 --> 0:37:32.280
<v Speaker 3>Pray love, you know you pray.

0:37:32.400 --> 0:37:33.839
<v Speaker 1>You invite me to a brunch or something.

0:37:35.120 --> 0:37:37.680
<v Speaker 4>It's a very like White Lady. No, not just White Lady,

0:37:37.680 --> 0:37:46.319
<v Speaker 4>it's a very like it probably is. But she has

0:37:46.360 --> 0:37:49.239
<v Speaker 4>a community right now called the love Lets. She's doing

0:37:49.239 --> 0:37:53.319
<v Speaker 4>this dear love letter thing on substack. It is incredible.

0:37:53.560 --> 0:37:57.000
<v Speaker 4>It's basically God writing to you, and hundreds of thousands

0:37:57.000 --> 0:37:59.640
<v Speaker 4>of people are sharing letters that God writes to them

0:37:59.640 --> 0:38:03.439
<v Speaker 4>every day and being so sacred and held by each other.

0:38:04.000 --> 0:38:07.680
<v Speaker 4>It's amazing. I had posted one on Instagram and just

0:38:07.800 --> 0:38:09.080
<v Speaker 4>was like, she did not ask me to do this,

0:38:09.120 --> 0:38:12.799
<v Speaker 4>but I'm sharing mine And I got a message from

0:38:12.840 --> 0:38:17.520
<v Speaker 4>her being like Rachel and I lost it because I'm

0:38:17.560 --> 0:38:19.080
<v Speaker 4>such a fan and I love her so much and

0:38:19.120 --> 0:38:20.800
<v Speaker 4>she asked me to do one for her. But anyway,

0:38:20.800 --> 0:38:24.160
<v Speaker 4>why I digress is that she recommended to me this

0:38:24.239 --> 0:38:26.160
<v Speaker 4>breath work. She's similar to me. You might think that

0:38:26.200 --> 0:38:29.600
<v Speaker 4>she's like Crystal Lady, but she's actually pretty grounded and

0:38:29.640 --> 0:38:32.080
<v Speaker 4>can't deal with yoga voice that she calls it. And

0:38:32.160 --> 0:38:37.760
<v Speaker 4>it's like, okay, yeah, But she told me she founded

0:38:37.760 --> 0:38:42.319
<v Speaker 4>this breathwork coach on insight timer and he just has

0:38:42.360 --> 0:38:44.080
<v Speaker 4>a southern youtue insight timer.

0:38:44.040 --> 0:38:48.280
<v Speaker 1>I do, and my jam that is okay, now finally

0:38:48.320 --> 0:38:51.120
<v Speaker 1>we got something. We're good. We'll do our own brunch.

0:38:55.040 --> 0:38:58.560
<v Speaker 4>I'm also from Boston. I'm like also a sports girl.

0:38:59.360 --> 0:39:04.120
<v Speaker 2>Meditation was yes, Oh my goodness, yes, inside timer he

0:39:04.160 --> 0:39:04.840
<v Speaker 2>told me about it.

0:39:04.920 --> 0:39:06.320
<v Speaker 4>I downloaded because of teaching.

0:39:06.400 --> 0:39:08.160
<v Speaker 1>But the ones you speak of that where they are

0:39:08.200 --> 0:39:13.279
<v Speaker 1>doing those I don't want to knock anybody else who

0:39:13.320 --> 0:39:15.399
<v Speaker 1>does that, agreed, But for me it's just stuck camp.

0:39:15.440 --> 0:39:16.160
<v Speaker 3>I used to do.

0:39:16.120 --> 0:39:18.680
<v Speaker 4>That and it was wonderful for me. But after having

0:39:18.680 --> 0:39:21.360
<v Speaker 4>a major mental health crisis, they don't they aren't grounding

0:39:21.480 --> 0:39:24.240
<v Speaker 4>enough and they can like take me off into the ethers.

0:39:24.280 --> 0:39:26.919
<v Speaker 4>And so now mean to be very grounded. I'll send

0:39:26.960 --> 0:39:27.960
<v Speaker 4>you my guy that I like.

0:39:28.480 --> 0:39:33.279
<v Speaker 1>I like Rachel Blondin, you know her, Sarah Blondy, Sarah,

0:39:33.600 --> 0:39:34.000
<v Speaker 1>I love you.

0:39:34.080 --> 0:39:35.319
<v Speaker 4>I'm listening. Have you done that one?

0:39:35.400 --> 0:39:37.320
<v Speaker 1>I haven't done the health court. Okay.

0:39:37.440 --> 0:39:41.960
<v Speaker 4>That literally healed me loving myself. It was so grounded

0:39:41.960 --> 0:39:45.120
<v Speaker 4>and simple, this radical act of saying to yourself I

0:39:45.160 --> 0:39:46.760
<v Speaker 4>love you and listening.

0:39:47.000 --> 0:39:47.480
<v Speaker 3>Over and over.

0:39:47.600 --> 0:39:49.120
<v Speaker 1>She has some surrender a lot of things.

0:39:50.640 --> 0:39:53.360
<v Speaker 4>But anyway, this guy Taylor, it's like southern and he's like,

0:39:53.400 --> 0:39:55.720
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, I have to get this point out somewhere

0:39:55.719 --> 0:39:56.799
<v Speaker 4>of the sky tailors.

0:39:56.480 --> 0:39:59.560
<v Speaker 3>Like, please just say it.

0:40:00.840 --> 0:40:03.560
<v Speaker 4>I think it's Taylor Somerville and he has these meditations

0:40:03.560 --> 0:40:06.279
<v Speaker 4>on inside timer and they're like all right, y'all, now

0:40:06.360 --> 0:40:09.880
<v Speaker 4>just take a deep breath in one, two, three, And I'm.

0:40:09.760 --> 0:40:13.080
<v Speaker 2>Like, yes, we're Southern, so we like that.

0:40:13.200 --> 0:40:18.520
<v Speaker 3>Yes, that's amazing, Rachel. Can I ask you how your

0:40:18.600 --> 0:40:19.920
<v Speaker 3>husband has been throughout all of this?

0:40:20.400 --> 0:40:22.799
<v Speaker 4>Oh, you mean with my battles with my mental health

0:40:22.840 --> 0:40:24.239
<v Speaker 4>are just all of the ride of.

0:40:24.440 --> 0:40:25.319
<v Speaker 3>The ride the right?

0:40:25.400 --> 0:40:27.279
<v Speaker 2>I mean, look, you know, I'm always amazed when we

0:40:27.280 --> 0:40:30.680
<v Speaker 2>were looking to see you all have been married for.

0:40:30.640 --> 0:40:32.719
<v Speaker 4>Fourteen two years now, I.

0:40:32.600 --> 0:40:37.080
<v Speaker 2>Mean I applaud that, like just like it's incredible. Yeah,

0:40:37.200 --> 0:40:42.160
<v Speaker 2>what how has he handled all of this? He is

0:40:42.360 --> 0:40:46.200
<v Speaker 2>such a quirky, funny guy. He's just everything is funny

0:40:46.200 --> 0:40:48.640
<v Speaker 2>to him. Everything's he's just like full of jokes.

0:40:48.760 --> 0:40:51.239
<v Speaker 4>I think in our marriage vows, I was like, I

0:40:51.320 --> 0:40:54.080
<v Speaker 4>vow to love you and listen to your many many jokes.

0:40:54.080 --> 0:40:58.640
<v Speaker 4>And he's just a funny, sarcastic Jewish guy from Miami

0:40:58.760 --> 0:41:03.239
<v Speaker 4>who is like very rounded, very logical, very brilliant. He

0:41:03.280 --> 0:41:06.719
<v Speaker 4>went to law school, in business school. He's so logical,

0:41:07.440 --> 0:41:11.319
<v Speaker 4>left brain. We balance each other perfectly. He's my he's

0:41:11.360 --> 0:41:14.000
<v Speaker 4>the into my I'm like I need him and he

0:41:14.360 --> 0:41:17.120
<v Speaker 4>just makes me laugh all the time and he doesn't

0:41:17.200 --> 0:41:20.520
<v Speaker 4>let me take anything seriously. So when all of this happened,

0:41:20.560 --> 0:41:22.360
<v Speaker 4>he just was cracking up and he was just like

0:41:22.600 --> 0:41:25.200
<v Speaker 4>behind the scenes, like, let's get that Britney money, baby,

0:41:25.320 --> 0:41:27.200
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, what are you talking about, Kevin,

0:41:28.000 --> 0:41:30.319
<v Speaker 4>He actually saw Britney spears in an event, and he

0:41:30.480 --> 0:41:33.120
<v Speaker 4>like like, oh, I can't actually say what he does,

0:41:35.440 --> 0:41:37.680
<v Speaker 4>but he's just so he's just he's never let me.

0:41:38.040 --> 0:41:40.480
<v Speaker 4>He's also very grounding and like he's always making fun

0:41:40.520 --> 0:41:43.240
<v Speaker 4>of me constantly. So if I had like ridiculous outfits

0:41:43.239 --> 0:41:45.560
<v Speaker 4>on like today, I told you, he was like, I'm wearing,

0:41:45.680 --> 0:41:47.759
<v Speaker 4>by the way, for anyone listening, I'm wearing a jumpsuit.

0:41:48.000 --> 0:41:50.719
<v Speaker 4>It's a fashionable jumpsuits, it is, and I'm wearing a

0:41:50.760 --> 0:41:53.799
<v Speaker 4>fashionable hat. But my husband told me this morning, baby,

0:41:53.840 --> 0:41:56.360
<v Speaker 4>make sure you get those high windows instead of like

0:41:56.400 --> 0:41:57.080
<v Speaker 4>a window washer.

0:42:00.080 --> 0:42:03.239
<v Speaker 2>Right, you were describing TJ to me, Oh, I know

0:42:03.239 --> 0:42:05.120
<v Speaker 2>they'd like each other constantly.

0:42:04.760 --> 0:42:08.279
<v Speaker 3>Making fun of me. Yeah, obviously, I think it's hilarious exactly,

0:42:08.360 --> 0:42:08.680
<v Speaker 3>And so.

0:42:08.640 --> 0:42:10.640
<v Speaker 4>It worked exactly. I need to be made fun of.

0:42:10.680 --> 0:42:14.360
<v Speaker 4>You couldn't, Kevin said. Kevin says, without him, I'd be unbearable.

0:42:14.640 --> 0:42:18.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh well, we were friends for like eight years and

0:42:18.920 --> 0:42:19.880
<v Speaker 2>all he did was make.

0:42:19.719 --> 0:42:21.960
<v Speaker 4>Fun of me. It's just what you need, right, yes,

0:42:22.040 --> 0:42:26.040
<v Speaker 4>because for us, like ye, taker's also seriously, please No, it.

0:42:26.080 --> 0:42:28.239
<v Speaker 1>Just wasn't long ago you would dress like something. And

0:42:28.280 --> 0:42:34.239
<v Speaker 1>I said, I know. He was, oh yeah, oh yeah,

0:42:34.400 --> 0:42:36.600
<v Speaker 1>we came in here, they sawry Rachel. She came in

0:42:36.640 --> 0:42:38.879
<v Speaker 1>and she wow, look forward to that horse to ride

0:42:38.880 --> 0:42:39.480
<v Speaker 1>and lesson.

0:42:39.360 --> 0:42:42.680
<v Speaker 4>Yet I mean because I had fashion.

0:42:42.920 --> 0:42:46.359
<v Speaker 3>Yes, yes, high boots are in and like made a

0:42:46.400 --> 0:42:46.799
<v Speaker 3>little a.

0:42:46.840 --> 0:42:49.920
<v Speaker 4>Real Rachel Blatten Twitter when everything started happening, and like

0:42:50.400 --> 0:42:52.000
<v Speaker 4>it was him running it, and there was a lot

0:42:52.000 --> 0:42:54.840
<v Speaker 4>of people following it, not like maybe a couple thousand,

0:42:55.080 --> 0:42:57.720
<v Speaker 4>and he would just post pictures of like embarrassing things,

0:42:57.760 --> 0:42:59.719
<v Speaker 4>and like he posted me with three donkeys and he

0:42:59.800 --> 0:43:04.120
<v Speaker 4>was like four asses for me, like in a ski

0:43:04.200 --> 0:43:06.000
<v Speaker 4>lift of my legs up and he's like, Rachel platting

0:43:06.040 --> 0:43:07.040
<v Speaker 4>skiing like an asshole.

0:43:08.360 --> 0:43:12.040
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god. He just sent me pictures of myself

0:43:12.160 --> 0:43:12.799
<v Speaker 3>that he took.

0:43:13.120 --> 0:43:15.319
<v Speaker 2>But I didn't know from the weekend where I look

0:43:15.400 --> 0:43:17.880
<v Speaker 2>like an idiot, and just for no reason, this morning

0:43:17.880 --> 0:43:19.600
<v Speaker 2>he sent me eight pictures where I look like an

0:43:19.680 --> 0:43:20.239
<v Speaker 2>absolute war.

0:43:21.360 --> 0:43:23.160
<v Speaker 1>Do you want to tell Rachel what you were doing

0:43:23.160 --> 0:43:28.240
<v Speaker 1>in those, Rachel, Rachel, go ahead, tell her tell me, Rachel.

0:43:28.320 --> 0:43:35.760
<v Speaker 1>She was changing her pants in the parking lot.

0:43:33.719 --> 0:43:34.960
<v Speaker 3>Of a trail.

0:43:35.000 --> 0:43:38.960
<v Speaker 1>Head of a trail, do the same thing, but the

0:43:39.160 --> 0:43:43.759
<v Speaker 1>door was open. She's in the driver's seat and just

0:43:43.760 --> 0:43:45.719
<v Speaker 1>just draws out and open just me.

0:43:46.360 --> 0:43:48.480
<v Speaker 4>We are so compact to go.

0:43:48.600 --> 0:43:50.800
<v Speaker 2>And then he's taking pictures of me.

0:43:52.040 --> 0:43:54.680
<v Speaker 1>I turned the volleme off on my phone so she

0:43:54.719 --> 0:43:55.319
<v Speaker 1>can hear going.

0:43:57.360 --> 0:43:59.480
<v Speaker 2>And then he waited a few days, and then today

0:43:59.520 --> 0:44:01.799
<v Speaker 2>this morning, he just decided to send all of them

0:44:01.840 --> 0:44:02.040
<v Speaker 2>to me.

0:44:02.520 --> 0:44:05.600
<v Speaker 4>You're gonna be Kevin told me that I actually can't

0:44:05.600 --> 0:44:07.920
<v Speaker 4>get any more famous because of how inappropriate I am

0:44:08.000 --> 0:44:10.160
<v Speaker 4>and how like antisocial my behavior is on the street.

0:44:10.200 --> 0:44:11.640
<v Speaker 4>He's like, you can't just pick your nose if you're

0:44:11.640 --> 0:44:12.320
<v Speaker 4>like very famous.

0:44:12.719 --> 0:44:15.000
<v Speaker 1>I can't ask you this, how many if if we

0:44:15.680 --> 0:44:19.960
<v Speaker 1>if the text messages between you and your husband became public,

0:44:20.080 --> 0:44:21.239
<v Speaker 1>how much trouble would you be in.

0:44:22.840 --> 0:44:25.160
<v Speaker 4>I think that it's mostly me bossing him around, being

0:44:25.160 --> 0:44:26.520
<v Speaker 4>like did you do this? Did you get the kids?

0:44:26.520 --> 0:44:28.719
<v Speaker 4>And then him making fun of me? And I don't know.

0:44:28.880 --> 0:44:31.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, because we'd be in trouble. Well, you

0:44:31.200 --> 0:44:32.960
<v Speaker 1>gotta have someone in your life that if you have

0:44:33.040 --> 0:44:35.839
<v Speaker 1>text messages between the two of you, do you mean

0:44:36.280 --> 0:44:37.120
<v Speaker 1>would inappropriately?

0:44:38.360 --> 0:44:46.560
<v Speaker 2>We can't the country Sorry, peaches and eggplant lots.

0:44:46.360 --> 0:44:50.200
<v Speaker 1>Of I wasn't even thinking that.

0:44:50.480 --> 0:44:52.319
<v Speaker 2>We're just we just say all the things you can't

0:44:52.360 --> 0:44:55.279
<v Speaker 2>say to anyone else to each other. When you have

0:44:55.320 --> 0:44:59.279
<v Speaker 2>that person, judgment free like right, and even if you're

0:44:59.320 --> 0:45:02.239
<v Speaker 2>judging each other, that's okay as long as you know.

0:45:02.400 --> 0:45:05.720
<v Speaker 4>I feel permission to just be my real self with Deven,

0:45:05.840 --> 0:45:08.440
<v Speaker 4>and I thank God for that because in a time

0:45:09.080 --> 0:45:11.839
<v Speaker 4>that was very confusing when I didn't know who I was,

0:45:11.960 --> 0:45:12.759
<v Speaker 4>he always did.

0:45:14.000 --> 0:45:15.319
<v Speaker 3>That's that's really cool.

0:45:15.440 --> 0:45:18.840
<v Speaker 2>I think that's really the key to having that relationship last,

0:45:18.880 --> 0:45:20.960
<v Speaker 2>because you trust each other. And it sounds like you

0:45:20.960 --> 0:45:22.439
<v Speaker 2>guys are like really good friends.

0:45:22.920 --> 0:45:24.120
<v Speaker 3>Your best friend is my best friend.

0:45:24.400 --> 0:45:35.200
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I love that. Yeah.

0:45:35.239 --> 0:45:37.920
<v Speaker 1>So many people love your fight song as this inspiration.

0:45:37.920 --> 0:45:40.360
<v Speaker 1>She runs to it all the time. I absolutely have

0:45:40.440 --> 0:45:45.160
<v Speaker 1>run to it before, and I think it's that so

0:45:45.200 --> 0:45:47.319
<v Speaker 1>many people have songs that get them going. What is

0:45:47.360 --> 0:45:49.520
<v Speaker 1>your song? What is your go to? If you're not

0:45:49.560 --> 0:45:51.840
<v Speaker 1>listening to that, you need some inspiration to pick me up,

0:45:51.880 --> 0:45:53.120
<v Speaker 1>a good workout, whatever it may be.

0:45:53.239 --> 0:45:55.800
<v Speaker 4>Well, oh my god, do you guys like gospel music

0:45:55.800 --> 0:45:56.399
<v Speaker 4>by any chance?

0:45:56.920 --> 0:45:58.880
<v Speaker 1>Like it? Don't listen to a lot of it, but I.

0:45:58.880 --> 0:46:03.880
<v Speaker 4>Love it and I love Kirk Franklin. And I listened

0:46:03.920 --> 0:46:07.960
<v Speaker 4>to a song called Brighter Day and that one gets

0:46:08.000 --> 0:46:11.680
<v Speaker 4>me going no matter what. It is so affirming and

0:46:11.800 --> 0:46:15.439
<v Speaker 4>joyful and like, yeah, man, I love gospel music so much.

0:46:15.480 --> 0:46:21.600
<v Speaker 4>And I met Kirk at super Bowl Super Soul Sunday.

0:46:21.960 --> 0:46:23.520
<v Speaker 4>I think I was the only white person. Maybe there

0:46:23.560 --> 0:46:25.360
<v Speaker 4>was like five white people. I was terrified. I was

0:46:25.360 --> 0:46:26.839
<v Speaker 4>on stage about to perform with.

0:46:26.800 --> 0:46:27.719
<v Speaker 3>You didn't dance right?

0:46:27.840 --> 0:46:34.319
<v Speaker 4>Oh thank god? Noess, And they were just they were

0:46:34.360 --> 0:46:38.799
<v Speaker 4>so massively talented Mary Mary went before Franklin. They're all

0:46:39.280 --> 0:46:42.680
<v Speaker 4>like legends. In my eyes. I'm just in awe and

0:46:42.760 --> 0:46:44.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm on stage, like, oh my god, this audience is

0:46:45.000 --> 0:46:49.160
<v Speaker 4>gonna hate me. But I start singing Mercy and they

0:46:49.320 --> 0:46:51.200
<v Speaker 4>were with me. I had them and they loved it,

0:46:51.239 --> 0:46:53.080
<v Speaker 4>and I felt Yeah, I.

0:46:53.040 --> 0:46:55.360
<v Speaker 3>Just felt cool. I finally felt cool.

0:46:55.600 --> 0:46:58.680
<v Speaker 4>I felt so well, just like so proud, you know,

0:46:58.840 --> 0:47:02.480
<v Speaker 4>and Kirk was like wow, and we became friends and

0:47:02.680 --> 0:47:04.480
<v Speaker 4>so it's cool to meet your heroes.

0:47:04.600 --> 0:47:06.160
<v Speaker 1>I love Kirk. I've been I've known him for a

0:47:06.200 --> 0:47:08.080
<v Speaker 1>long time as well, out of Atlanta. If you go

0:47:08.160 --> 0:47:09.920
<v Speaker 1>look up now. As crazy as this sounds, if you

0:47:09.920 --> 0:47:13.399
<v Speaker 1>go listen, you remember his song Smile. Of course, look

0:47:13.440 --> 0:47:16.359
<v Speaker 1>at that video you will see me in it. Oh

0:47:16.480 --> 0:47:19.879
<v Speaker 1>my god, I'm in the Kirk Franklin Smile video. Care

0:47:20.040 --> 0:47:22.520
<v Speaker 1>is low and cropt, but he had all of us

0:47:22.560 --> 0:47:26.239
<v Speaker 1>come in and sing versions. And there's a clip of me. Yes,

0:47:26.360 --> 0:47:29.680
<v Speaker 1>Kirk Franklin sick. Yes, I love that, bro. I did

0:47:29.760 --> 0:47:34.799
<v Speaker 1>not know ye how it all comes together as well.

0:47:34.880 --> 0:47:36.759
<v Speaker 3>You never thought you'd be talking about.

0:47:37.040 --> 0:47:40.080
<v Speaker 4>So much Ingram. Should we be friends? Forget about any

0:47:40.200 --> 0:47:44.160
<v Speaker 4>you know, well, I don't know if we can be.

0:47:44.880 --> 0:47:48.080
<v Speaker 1>Our producer sent me video of you dancing in a video,

0:47:48.400 --> 0:47:50.360
<v Speaker 1>so they just sent it. So it's not it's not

0:47:50.640 --> 0:47:53.680
<v Speaker 1>it's not what you described, Rachel, is not what you described.

0:47:53.719 --> 0:47:55.040
<v Speaker 4>I guarantee Rachel too.

0:47:55.280 --> 0:47:58.160
<v Speaker 3>I know Rachel. I guarantee that you're a better dancer

0:47:58.200 --> 0:47:58.440
<v Speaker 3>than me.

0:47:59.560 --> 0:48:02.600
<v Speaker 1>It's so it's it's not bad now, it's different. Okay,

0:48:02.600 --> 0:48:04.520
<v Speaker 1>here's this is wildest.

0:48:04.160 --> 0:48:05.720
<v Speaker 4>Thing is different?

0:48:06.040 --> 0:48:09.000
<v Speaker 1>Well no, no, no, no, no no no, that's not what

0:48:09.080 --> 0:48:12.600
<v Speaker 1>I meant. No stop stop. What I meant was I

0:48:12.640 --> 0:48:15.279
<v Speaker 1>can't imagine. We were so shocked when you said they

0:48:15.320 --> 0:48:18.240
<v Speaker 1>tried to have you dancing on stage, because if anyone

0:48:18.320 --> 0:48:22.239
<v Speaker 1>went to that concert last night, I couldn't imagine that

0:48:22.280 --> 0:48:25.200
<v Speaker 1>person trying to be some pop star and dance and

0:48:25.239 --> 0:48:27.840
<v Speaker 1>it just seems out of your comforts. And not to

0:48:27.840 --> 0:48:30.200
<v Speaker 1>say you were bad at it at all, but you

0:48:30.280 --> 0:48:32.680
<v Speaker 1>were just such an artist last night.

0:48:32.800 --> 0:48:35.239
<v Speaker 3>It was so cool to watch man, Thank you.

0:48:35.320 --> 0:48:37.120
<v Speaker 1>It was so cool to watch.

0:48:37.040 --> 0:48:42.520
<v Speaker 2>Your piano skills are incudib so good, so good.

0:48:42.600 --> 0:48:45.719
<v Speaker 4>I worked I like since listening to gospel and I

0:48:45.840 --> 0:48:48.520
<v Speaker 4>just kind of I just up to my cords. I

0:48:48.560 --> 0:48:50.759
<v Speaker 4>just started to understand, like, wait a second, if this

0:48:50.800 --> 0:48:53.680
<v Speaker 4>is what I like an Americana and like roots and soul,

0:48:53.760 --> 0:48:55.759
<v Speaker 4>I I better learn to play like this so I

0:48:55.760 --> 0:48:57.560
<v Speaker 4>can write one of these. So that was what I

0:48:57.560 --> 0:48:59.160
<v Speaker 4>did over the pandemic? Was I love that?

0:48:59.600 --> 0:49:01.839
<v Speaker 2>So you you just had a birthday, you turned forty three.

0:49:02.360 --> 0:49:04.279
<v Speaker 2>How do you feel a woman in your forties now?

0:49:04.360 --> 0:49:06.759
<v Speaker 2>Like for so many women are afraid of getting older.

0:49:06.800 --> 0:49:10.640
<v Speaker 2>They're afraid of aging, they're afraid of becoming or losing.

0:49:10.320 --> 0:49:11.160
<v Speaker 3>Their their youth.

0:49:11.320 --> 0:49:11.759
<v Speaker 4>I love that.

0:49:12.239 --> 0:49:14.000
<v Speaker 3>How has it been for you? You know?

0:49:15.400 --> 0:49:19.920
<v Speaker 4>I spiritually absolutely love getting older. I think it is

0:49:19.960 --> 0:49:22.520
<v Speaker 4>the most incredible thing. I would never go back to

0:49:22.560 --> 0:49:25.719
<v Speaker 4>my twenties now are my thirties? Ever? You couldn't pay

0:49:25.719 --> 0:49:28.879
<v Speaker 4>me enough to be to not know who I am

0:49:29.080 --> 0:49:31.600
<v Speaker 4>again and to be thinking I needed to look outside

0:49:31.640 --> 0:49:35.680
<v Speaker 4>for approval and for saving, you know. But that being said,

0:49:35.719 --> 0:49:38.919
<v Speaker 4>so that's my inside, and then outside there's vanity. Of course,

0:49:38.960 --> 0:49:41.920
<v Speaker 4>you know, it's harder. And I did make the decision

0:49:42.840 --> 0:49:44.560
<v Speaker 4>when I had my babies that I was going to

0:49:44.640 --> 0:49:48.440
<v Speaker 4>stop getting botox and fillers and stuff, because I was like,

0:49:48.480 --> 0:49:50.399
<v Speaker 4>I want my girls to be able to see what

0:49:50.480 --> 0:49:53.279
<v Speaker 4>aging looks like and not feel like they have to

0:49:53.320 --> 0:49:55.920
<v Speaker 4>be this thing that they're going to see everywhere on

0:49:55.960 --> 0:49:58.080
<v Speaker 4>TikTok and Instagram that they don't even know what like

0:49:58.160 --> 0:50:02.520
<v Speaker 4>forty three should look like anymore. And I so sometimes,

0:50:02.560 --> 0:50:05.320
<v Speaker 4>of course, I'll like, you know, look in the mirror

0:50:05.320 --> 0:50:07.520
<v Speaker 4>and be like, man, she looks old and tired, but

0:50:07.800 --> 0:50:10.400
<v Speaker 4>which like a little bit of botox could so easily fix.

0:50:11.080 --> 0:50:15.520
<v Speaker 4>But when I connect with what my real you know

0:50:15.560 --> 0:50:18.759
<v Speaker 4>what my intention is. It's really to be as authentic

0:50:19.040 --> 0:50:22.839
<v Speaker 4>and who and natural as I can. And that is

0:50:23.120 --> 0:50:25.960
<v Speaker 4>no shade to anyone because I did it for years.

0:50:26.200 --> 0:50:29.840
<v Speaker 4>I got botox for so long, and I understand the pressure,

0:50:30.400 --> 0:50:32.520
<v Speaker 4>but I especially want to reach like young girls who

0:50:32.520 --> 0:50:34.480
<v Speaker 4>think that they need to do preventative stuff like that

0:50:34.600 --> 0:50:37.040
<v Speaker 4>is a lie. First of all, they are lying to you.

0:50:37.719 --> 0:50:40.640
<v Speaker 4>I did that when I was twenty nine because someone

0:50:40.640 --> 0:50:43.280
<v Speaker 4>told me I should preventively. It made my wrinkles worse.

0:50:43.320 --> 0:50:45.120
<v Speaker 4>I just want people to know that is not the thing.

0:50:45.160 --> 0:50:49.440
<v Speaker 4>That is not a thing. Stop. And I love my face.

0:50:49.560 --> 0:50:52.600
<v Speaker 4>I love the lines that I've earned, and I love

0:50:52.880 --> 0:50:56.920
<v Speaker 4>you know, I'm proud of it. So but there are times,

0:50:56.920 --> 0:50:58.759
<v Speaker 4>of course, you know, when I'm looking at the music

0:50:58.840 --> 0:51:01.640
<v Speaker 4>video screen, I feel a little like, oh man.

0:51:02.200 --> 0:51:02.919
<v Speaker 3>It's it's tough.

0:51:03.000 --> 0:51:06.760
<v Speaker 2>And the pressure now because you're seeing like teenagers getting

0:51:07.680 --> 0:51:10.799
<v Speaker 2>getting oh yeah, the lips and all of that.

0:51:11.200 --> 0:51:13.120
<v Speaker 4>Oh and lips. I'm so sorry. I just think that

0:51:13.160 --> 0:51:14.160
<v Speaker 4>we're too old to understand.

0:51:14.920 --> 0:51:17.359
<v Speaker 2>Maybe I don't understand either, but yeah, no, and as

0:51:17.400 --> 0:51:19.160
<v Speaker 2>your girls get older, it is true, it's a constant

0:51:19.200 --> 0:51:22.040
<v Speaker 2>conversation because you want them to feel good enough, you know, and.

0:51:22.880 --> 0:51:24.920
<v Speaker 4>See their mom and say, ye, my mom loved herself

0:51:25.000 --> 0:51:27.719
<v Speaker 4>enough that, like, you know, my mom always did that.

0:51:27.760 --> 0:51:30.680
<v Speaker 4>My mom is so beautiful and she never did anything

0:51:30.680 --> 0:51:32.480
<v Speaker 4>to her face and was always adamant. And I also

0:51:32.560 --> 0:51:35.439
<v Speaker 4>understand that this is a pretty privilege, Like I happen

0:51:35.560 --> 0:51:38.360
<v Speaker 4>to be a pretty woman, and so it's probably easier

0:51:38.719 --> 0:51:41.120
<v Speaker 4>for me to make that decision. And so that's something

0:51:41.120 --> 0:51:44.560
<v Speaker 4>that I recognize, and that isn't fair and it's you know,

0:51:44.760 --> 0:51:47.520
<v Speaker 4>but at the same time, I'm only deal with the

0:51:47.520 --> 0:51:48.640
<v Speaker 4>face and the body that I have.

0:51:48.760 --> 0:51:51.239
<v Speaker 1>So I'm have you stopped all that stuff now, you

0:51:51.520 --> 0:51:55.280
<v Speaker 1>won't do anything what's your upkeeper maintenance or routine or what.

0:51:55.280 --> 0:51:57.080
<v Speaker 4>Is the well I will still work really hard, Like

0:51:57.160 --> 0:52:01.279
<v Speaker 4>I'm still vain and I tried wanted to be you know,

0:52:01.320 --> 0:52:04.720
<v Speaker 4>in any way not natural. So look, this is also

0:52:04.800 --> 0:52:07.600
<v Speaker 4>an income thing. Income. I have a lot of money

0:52:07.840 --> 0:52:10.200
<v Speaker 4>to spend on facials and a lot of money to

0:52:10.200 --> 0:52:12.839
<v Speaker 4>spend on products, and that's not what everyone can do.

0:52:13.000 --> 0:52:16.719
<v Speaker 4>So I also recognize that in a way, how I'm

0:52:16.760 --> 0:52:19.799
<v Speaker 4>if I really wanted to like represent the public, then

0:52:20.000 --> 0:52:22.960
<v Speaker 4>I wouldn't use all these expensive products. But I'm just

0:52:23.080 --> 0:52:25.840
<v Speaker 4>doing what I can, you know, and I have expensive products.

0:52:25.880 --> 0:52:28.359
<v Speaker 4>I get expensive facials, I get micro dem abration, and

0:52:28.360 --> 0:52:31.120
<v Speaker 4>I get I do the things. I do what I can.

0:52:31.280 --> 0:52:34.960
<v Speaker 1>But forgive me, I feel weird now after asking me

0:52:35.120 --> 0:52:39.520
<v Speaker 1>like questions, you're a regiment because I am. Okay, stay

0:52:39.520 --> 0:52:45.040
<v Speaker 1>with let me try to figure this out there mode.

0:52:45.320 --> 0:52:47.359
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, it's like should I do it?

0:52:47.360 --> 0:52:49.000
<v Speaker 2>It's like it's like the lights Like no, it's like

0:52:49.040 --> 0:52:51.080
<v Speaker 2>they it's like the heat stuff that they put into

0:52:51.080 --> 0:52:53.440
<v Speaker 2>it hurts a lot, but I try. I don't do

0:52:53.480 --> 0:52:55.359
<v Speaker 2>fillers at all because I don't want to do that either.

0:52:55.880 --> 0:52:57.000
<v Speaker 4>I just thank God.

0:52:57.000 --> 0:52:57.960
<v Speaker 3>But I do do botox.

0:52:58.000 --> 0:52:59.800
<v Speaker 2>I do do botox, but I do not do fillers.

0:52:59.840 --> 0:53:01.919
<v Speaker 2>But I do like the vampire facial thing where they're

0:53:01.920 --> 0:53:03.320
<v Speaker 2>taking your own blood and put it back in.

0:53:04.200 --> 0:53:05.680
<v Speaker 4>Trying to do these things on that I don't want

0:53:05.680 --> 0:53:09.960
<v Speaker 4>to try that. Yeah, that I got it. I'm way behind.

0:53:09.960 --> 0:53:11.839
<v Speaker 3>Okay, well I'm also ten years old.

0:53:11.920 --> 0:53:14.600
<v Speaker 1>What about razor? What's the thing this thing?

0:53:15.480 --> 0:53:15.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:53:15.680 --> 0:53:17.520
<v Speaker 3>I did microblading. I've made my eyebrows.

0:53:17.560 --> 0:53:20.640
<v Speaker 4>Oh that is so smart. Instead of being a dumb

0:53:20.680 --> 0:53:22.960
<v Speaker 4>dumb and drawing him in every day I.

0:53:24.760 --> 0:53:26.360
<v Speaker 3>Know those are the things I want to do.

0:53:27.400 --> 0:53:29.320
<v Speaker 4>I have, like a lot of freckles from the sun though.

0:53:29.760 --> 0:53:33.480
<v Speaker 3>Is great, it's just there. Yes, they're beautiful. Oh my gosh,

0:53:33.640 --> 0:53:37.040
<v Speaker 3>you are like my daughter. It's crazy, right, ickles. Well,

0:53:37.080 --> 0:53:38.400
<v Speaker 3>she's got these beautiful freckles.

0:53:38.440 --> 0:53:40.520
<v Speaker 2>She embraces them and loves them, and I think they're

0:53:40.560 --> 0:53:41.640
<v Speaker 2>gorgeous on YouTube.

0:53:41.880 --> 0:53:45.160
<v Speaker 4>But I think that I'm lying because there are times

0:53:45.200 --> 0:53:47.480
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, oh my lord, I look like an eighty

0:53:47.560 --> 0:53:50.160
<v Speaker 4>year old with all my the age spots and freckles.

0:53:50.160 --> 0:53:53.560
<v Speaker 4>But whatever, I feel like i'm getting into, like superficial.

0:53:53.600 --> 0:53:57.200
<v Speaker 4>But I feel like, here's the thing. What is inside

0:53:57.239 --> 0:53:59.719
<v Speaker 4>of me is so clear to me now, like what

0:53:59.760 --> 0:54:04.759
<v Speaker 4>i'm herefore that I'm loved by God, by myself, by

0:54:05.000 --> 0:54:08.040
<v Speaker 4>my girls, Like I know what matters. And so when

0:54:08.080 --> 0:54:10.480
<v Speaker 4>I get quiet and do my breath work on the inside,

0:54:10.520 --> 0:54:15.120
<v Speaker 4>timer I love myself so deeply and because of who

0:54:15.120 --> 0:54:18.240
<v Speaker 4>I am inside, not the outside. And when I feel

0:54:18.239 --> 0:54:20.239
<v Speaker 4>that way, then I look in the mirror and love

0:54:20.239 --> 0:54:23.399
<v Speaker 4>who I see there too, regardless of if she's tight

0:54:23.520 --> 0:54:25.719
<v Speaker 4>or tone in her skinny or whatever, like I love her.

0:54:26.160 --> 0:54:29.440
<v Speaker 4>But if I haven't up kept my inside, then I

0:54:29.480 --> 0:54:32.480
<v Speaker 4>start criticizing the outside. So whenever I start getting a

0:54:32.520 --> 0:54:34.719
<v Speaker 4>little too critical of how I look, I know it's

0:54:34.760 --> 0:54:35.680
<v Speaker 4>time to do some soul work.

0:54:36.480 --> 0:54:38.640
<v Speaker 1>That's really cool, man, that's good advice.

0:54:40.440 --> 0:54:43.400
<v Speaker 4>Wow. Yeah, myself.

0:54:45.640 --> 0:54:47.759
<v Speaker 2>But it's beautiful to be able to find a way

0:54:47.800 --> 0:54:52.480
<v Speaker 2>to compliment yourself and to appreciate the work you've done,

0:54:52.760 --> 0:54:54.359
<v Speaker 2>recognize it, and own it.

0:54:54.400 --> 0:54:58.000
<v Speaker 3>And that is a part of your confidence. That is well.

0:54:58.440 --> 0:55:00.399
<v Speaker 1>It's been a pleasure getting to know you through your

0:55:00.480 --> 0:55:02.759
<v Speaker 1>music more over the past week or so as we

0:55:02.760 --> 0:55:04.520
<v Speaker 1>were getting ready for the concert, and I can't say

0:55:04.520 --> 0:55:08.120
<v Speaker 1>it enough. I know the big arenas are great, but

0:55:08.200 --> 0:55:10.480
<v Speaker 1>if somebody, if I hear you're going to be at MSG,

0:55:10.680 --> 0:55:13.120
<v Speaker 1>that's one thing. If I hear you had another venue

0:55:13.239 --> 0:55:15.279
<v Speaker 1>like the one we saw last night, or at a

0:55:15.320 --> 0:55:18.160
<v Speaker 1>small bar, or in a lounge or something that is

0:55:18.200 --> 0:55:22.920
<v Speaker 1>where you should be enjoyed, you are just ridiculous on stage.

0:55:23.480 --> 0:55:26.080
<v Speaker 1>Somebody standa give them a mic and a piano. Give

0:55:26.160 --> 0:55:29.359
<v Speaker 1>my mic and a guitar. That I have no greater respects, sister,

0:55:29.760 --> 0:55:31.680
<v Speaker 1>It is a pleasure. And I will tell you when

0:55:31.760 --> 0:55:34.279
<v Speaker 1>you came out, she was so excited last night, But

0:55:34.360 --> 0:55:37.080
<v Speaker 1>when you first came out, on stage, she leaned over

0:55:37.120 --> 0:55:37.399
<v Speaker 1>to me.

0:55:37.480 --> 0:55:38.400
<v Speaker 3>Ah, she's so cute.

0:55:39.719 --> 0:55:42.000
<v Speaker 1>I swear to it was exactly what she said to me.

0:55:42.080 --> 0:55:44.879
<v Speaker 1>So please know this one here has been raving way

0:55:44.920 --> 0:55:45.520
<v Speaker 1>about Amy.

0:55:45.560 --> 0:55:49.319
<v Speaker 4>I think she's adorable and beautiful and wonderful and charismatic

0:55:49.600 --> 0:55:53.360
<v Speaker 4>and TJ you are delightful as well, handsome and dashing

0:55:53.440 --> 0:55:53.839
<v Speaker 4>and fit.

0:55:54.800 --> 0:55:58.759
<v Speaker 1>As an aside, yes, yes, before we went in, you

0:55:58.760 --> 0:56:01.359
<v Speaker 1>remember the girl. She's treating me like the woman last night.

0:56:01.480 --> 0:56:04.880
<v Speaker 1>You remember we were sitting a weird cousin. Well, I

0:56:04.960 --> 0:56:07.840
<v Speaker 1>hope not. But before we came into your count we

0:56:07.880 --> 0:56:10.120
<v Speaker 1>had a drink. I had margarita around the corner before

0:56:10.120 --> 0:56:13.400
<v Speaker 1>we came to church. Of course we drink. But a

0:56:13.440 --> 0:56:15.640
<v Speaker 1>woman came up and was the woman that said to you,

0:56:15.719 --> 0:56:18.200
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, it's so great. I loved your book.

0:56:18.400 --> 0:56:20.719
<v Speaker 1>Everything is so great. And she just looked over at

0:56:20.719 --> 0:56:24.560
<v Speaker 1>me and said whatever, okay, And we did know this

0:56:24.680 --> 0:56:27.440
<v Speaker 1>is a true story, okay, And she just kept talking

0:56:27.480 --> 0:56:28.200
<v Speaker 1>the robes and it.

0:56:28.200 --> 0:56:30.240
<v Speaker 3>Was sweet and said you're.

0:56:29.800 --> 0:56:32.600
<v Speaker 1>Great and that she kept going and said it again

0:56:32.640 --> 0:56:36.319
<v Speaker 1>at the end, you know, and did this And I

0:56:36.440 --> 0:56:38.880
<v Speaker 1>never said anythings to the woman.

0:56:39.920 --> 0:56:42.160
<v Speaker 4>It was it was crazy.

0:56:41.880 --> 0:56:45.799
<v Speaker 1>And unnecessary, but that's deeply unnecessary. But you triggered me

0:56:46.040 --> 0:56:48.120
<v Speaker 1>just then by saying to Ja, we can be a

0:56:48.200 --> 0:56:49.960
<v Speaker 1>friend as an aside, so that's all.

0:56:50.760 --> 0:56:51.120
<v Speaker 4>Sorry.

0:56:51.760 --> 0:56:55.600
<v Speaker 2>It was funny, we were we actually laughed because you're wonderful.

0:56:55.880 --> 0:56:58.480
<v Speaker 1>No, no, eazy. But it made me think about that

0:56:58.520 --> 0:57:00.040
<v Speaker 1>woman and then.

0:57:00.040 --> 0:57:03.600
<v Speaker 2>And then she was at your concert by the way.

0:57:03.719 --> 0:57:05.120
<v Speaker 3>He was like, look, it's the woman.

0:57:07.760 --> 0:57:08.200
<v Speaker 4>My cousin.

0:57:08.320 --> 0:57:10.520
<v Speaker 2>I think she thought she was being funny, but it

0:57:10.560 --> 0:57:13.120
<v Speaker 2>was actually really disrespectful and rude.

0:57:14.239 --> 0:57:17.600
<v Speaker 4>And the people are like they think that, They're like, yeah,

0:57:17.680 --> 0:57:20.160
<v Speaker 4>people just don't always know what to do. They get nervous,

0:57:20.200 --> 0:57:22.560
<v Speaker 4>they get really intimidated. You're you know, you're like a tall,

0:57:22.600 --> 0:57:23.080
<v Speaker 4>good looking man.

0:57:23.080 --> 0:57:27.120
<v Speaker 3>They're probably like, I am the sweetest but but.

0:57:27.120 --> 0:57:28.959
<v Speaker 4>All right, I have to go. I love you guys,

0:57:29.000 --> 0:57:29.720
<v Speaker 4>So we love you.

0:57:30.000 --> 0:57:33.560
<v Speaker 2>We love you, We love you, and thank you for coming.

0:57:33.720 --> 0:57:37.040
<v Speaker 2>It's such a pleasure. We cannot wait for the album announcement.

0:57:37.120 --> 0:57:39.000
<v Speaker 2>We will be waiting on the edge of our seats

0:57:39.320 --> 0:57:39.880
<v Speaker 2>and I will.

0:57:39.720 --> 0:57:42.880
<v Speaker 4>Be honestly, it was so such a joy.

0:57:43.040 --> 0:57:44.360
<v Speaker 3>Thank you. Rachel Platton