Speaker 1: Hey, folks, Robock and I were at a concert last
Speaker 1: night and just after one song, Roboch was wiping tears
Speaker 1: constantly from her face. And the artist who had her
Speaker 1: in tears is in studio with us today. Everybody, welcome
Speaker 1: to this episode of Amy and TJ Roaves. Did I
Speaker 1: get that about right? Did I describe it?
Speaker 2: I had like I had ugly tears, like it was embarrassing,
Speaker 2: Like I was actually crying, like absolutely sobbing.
Speaker 3: Yes, but it was there were tears of just what
Speaker 3: beauty anyway.
Speaker 1: Because it was sad. It wasn't a sad moment. It
Speaker 1: wasn't a sad song necessarily, it was a beautiful song.
Speaker 1: But yes, okay, now you describe what my reaction was
Speaker 1: to you cry.
Speaker 2: You were staring at me and then you were laughing
Speaker 2: at me, h lyrically.
Speaker 1: Now that sounds mean, but everybody needs to understand she
Speaker 1: was laughing at herself while she was crying.
Speaker 2: I was laughing and crying at the same time because
Speaker 2: I realized how like ridiculously emotional I was in that moment.
Speaker 2: But I feel like it speaks to the level of
Speaker 2: talent and the authenticity of the words and the music
Speaker 2: by one of my absolute favorite artists who I'm so
Speaker 2: excited to reconnect with after God. It's been almost a
Speaker 2: decade and she is one of my all time favorite,
Speaker 2: favorite favorite people. I listened to her music at least
Speaker 2: once a day. One of the songs and I have
Speaker 2: all my favorites, and yes, this one song got me
Speaker 2: last night. Do you remember what the name of the
Speaker 2: song was?
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course I know what the name of the
Speaker 1: song was. And to get everybody a little caught up
Speaker 1: here to set the mood here. This was at a
Speaker 1: small church in Brooklyn St.
Speaker 3: Anne, Saint Anne's, but it was I don't think it
Speaker 3: was small. It was.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's gorgeous, but it's a but when you think
Speaker 1: about a concert venue, it's very intimate. It's a church.
Speaker 1: You're in a church. So they have I don't know
Speaker 1: how many candles were set up. They call these these
Speaker 1: candlelight concerts they have. So we were invited to one,
Speaker 1: uh last evening. So it's a very intimate and it
Speaker 1: is one of the coolest concerts I have ever been to.
Speaker 1: But the tone and the mood and the energy in
Speaker 1: there was so so sweet and we're sitting there. We
Speaker 1: had a good time had a good day, and sure,
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting you told me about this song before
Speaker 1: we went in, and so one song goes off perfectly.
Speaker 1: We were having a good time, like, wow, this is amazing.
Speaker 1: Before we get to the chorus on song too, you all,
Speaker 1: I wish you all could see me.
Speaker 3: She should have taken a video her hands.
Speaker 1: Look, we're moving like when the whole time, and it
Speaker 1: was absurd and we were having such a good time.
Speaker 1: You were laughing. I was laughing at you. You couldn't
Speaker 1: believe you got caught up. Yeah, but in the moment.
Speaker 1: But the song is called girls, Yes, and please describe
Speaker 1: a song.
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, can we talk about the amazing
Speaker 2: artist Rachel Platton, who I think everyone knows and loves.
Speaker 2: But this song Girl, she released a year ago. And
Speaker 2: my oldest daughter, Ava, who is also a singer or
Speaker 2: an aspiring singer songwriter, she came running in and said, Mom,
Speaker 2: you have to listen to the song. She was sending
Speaker 2: it to me, and I started listening to it and
Speaker 2: then I just listened to it on repeat and we
Speaker 2: would listen to it together and I just send it
Speaker 2: to her. She send it back to me, and so
Speaker 2: it's a song about Rachel wrote this for her two daughters,
Speaker 2: who are two and five now, and I remember when
Speaker 2: my babies were two and five. That's the same spread
Speaker 2: that my daughters are, but they're eighteen and twenty one now.
Speaker 2: But it's a song. It's a tribute to them and
Speaker 2: the power that they have, not just within themselves but
Speaker 2: together as sisters. Oh my god, and about a mother's
Speaker 2: love for her daughters. And it's just, oh my god,
Speaker 2: it's so beautiful.
Speaker 1: And with that, can we say welcome. That was incredible,
Speaker 1: No thank you, but thank you for the invitation to
Speaker 1: the concert last thank you for expending That was Look, sister,
Speaker 1: I look. I don't need to sound like I'm posturing
Speaker 1: here or trying to flatter you in some way, but
Speaker 1: that was one of the coolest venues and showcases of
Speaker 1: somebody's talent I've ever seen. I've been to a lot
Speaker 1: of concerts, but when someone can get on stage and
Speaker 1: there's a mic and a piano and just go to town,
Speaker 1: I have no greater respect for an artist than that.
Speaker 1: And I saw you in a venue last night, Rachel.
Speaker 1: That was unbelievable. That was unreal.
Speaker 4: Think you're going to make me cry, thank you so much. Honestly,
Speaker 4: to be seen it was kind of what I was
Speaker 4: always wanting, and to be seen for. We'll get into
Speaker 4: it more than fight song and seen for the true
Speaker 4: artist that I am. And it means so much to me.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Were we felt. We just kept looking into the going
Speaker 3: this is so cool, this is so.
Speaker 4: Such an amazing venue.
Speaker 3: It was. It was incredible.
Speaker 4: There were thousands of candles that they set up. It's
Speaker 4: called Candlelight Concert Series. I'm probably going to do more
Speaker 4: around the country, but it's just the most magical thing.
Speaker 4: I remember walking in there and being like, I get
Speaker 4: to sing here, let alone stand in here. I didn't
Speaker 4: want to get off stage.
Speaker 3: Oh I didn't want you to either. I don't think
Speaker 3: anybody wanted you to. It was funny because I just
Speaker 3: mentioned my daughter Ava.
Speaker 2: She was wondering what TJ and his music choices, like,
Speaker 2: what he would think about going to a Rachel plattin concert.
Speaker 3: So she was like, I can't wait to see what
Speaker 3: you have to say. So we came back.
Speaker 2: Ava was came back from her waitress shift and she
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, TJ, what did you think.
Speaker 1: I was just blown away. I'm familiar with your hit songs.
Speaker 1: I have not done I'll admit I haven't done it.
Speaker 1: I hadn't done a deep dive on a lot of
Speaker 1: your music, but I was familiar to you and your hits.
Speaker 1: I was familiar. But for whatever reason, and her daughter
Speaker 1: didn't think maybe I'll say, Okay, TJ. Don't know what
Speaker 1: this is gonna be your laying will you even discussed
Speaker 1: like what I should wear? Like how should I dress?
Speaker 1: I was like, is this kind of a racial plan audience?
Speaker 1: Or is it I dressed like this?
Speaker 4: I think people are going to be pretty surprised by
Speaker 4: these shows, and they have been, and they have given
Speaker 4: you to be like, wait, I thought it was this
Speaker 4: one thing. It's very very much not and not maybe
Speaker 4: not only that one thing anymore. And so I understand
Speaker 4: her hesitance for you. I understand you're like unsure about
Speaker 4: what to wear, like is this a pop audience with
Speaker 4: our little girls? I get that, and that's fair.
Speaker 2: I loved the moment you started singing. He was like
Speaker 2: oh wow, Like he was like, this is the real deal.
Speaker 2: She is the real deal. And that made me so
Speaker 2: happy because I didn't want to I don't want to
Speaker 2: talk you up too much. I wanted him to have
Speaker 2: his own opinion, and I was like so excited I knew.
Speaker 2: I was like, when she gets up there and starts singing,
Speaker 2: I know, because you.
Speaker 4: That's amazing that you knew, because I don't even know
Speaker 4: if fans of mine and who. To be honest, I
Speaker 4: didn't even know I could sing and play like that.
Speaker 4: Something happened and we'll get into it. Something happened to
Speaker 4: me during my change into motherhood and this subsequent depression
Speaker 4: and mental health battle that I went through. Something happened
Speaker 4: to me that unlocked something in me. And I get surprised.
Speaker 4: I really am genuinely saying this. I get surprised by
Speaker 4: what my voice can do. I actually can't believe it.
Speaker 4: It never could do that before. It was strong, but
Speaker 4: it wasn't like it couldn't just do whatever I want.
Speaker 4: It's wild. I opened my mouth and I'm like, I
Speaker 4: could do any run I want to, and not to
Speaker 4: show off, I'm just I never could do that before.
Speaker 4: And I never thought my voice was my calling card
Speaker 4: or my talent. I was always like, my songwriting is
Speaker 4: what is my strength, and my voice is good and
Speaker 4: it can carry these wonderful songs. But I'm surprised, so
Speaker 4: of course other people are surprised.
Speaker 1: Wait, how do you explain that?
Speaker 4: Then people have asked me, my sister was there last
Speaker 4: night and she hasn't seen me before in maybe ten years,
Speaker 4: and she was, no, that's that can't be true. Seven years.
Speaker 4: That would be awful. She's actually my best friend. Why
Speaker 4: would that be? It was a pandemic. Okay, she saw
Speaker 4: me a Medison Square garden a couple of years, like
Speaker 4: in twenty nineteen, but that was the last real kind
Speaker 4: of shows that I was doing.
Speaker 2: So she.
Speaker 4: Was just shocked, and she was looking at me like
Speaker 4: what is going on? She's listened to me sing our
Speaker 4: whole lives? And I think the way I was trying
Speaker 4: to explain it to her was I think physically, I
Speaker 4: have like a scientific explanation that maybe, and then I
Speaker 4: have a spiritual one. So for both, for any of
Speaker 4: you kind of listeners, I think, scientifically and spiritual and physically,
Speaker 4: what happened? Is it in childbirth and in carrying my
Speaker 4: babies and growing my babies? I think my rib cage, well,
Speaker 4: I know it has it widened, and my diaphragm has dropped,
Speaker 4: and there is actual more power. But spiritually, what I
Speaker 4: think has happened is that this journey that I've been through,
Speaker 4: this dark night of the soul and this from the
Speaker 4: worst thing I've ever faced, brought me into this integration
Speaker 4: with all of me. So it's me holding the dark
Speaker 4: and the light. Before I think I would deny and
Speaker 4: push down a lot of the dark feelings and the
Speaker 4: like stuff that I deemed as negative or bad. And
Speaker 4: I was this fight song girl with her fist in
Speaker 4: the air and tiny and botoxed and like, you know,
Speaker 4: tanned and all the like I'm sorry swearing.
Speaker 1: And you swore the church last night, by the way,
Speaker 1: I really was.
Speaker 4: So I'm told to myself, I'm not going to swear
Speaker 4: and then see, this.
Speaker 3: Is why we're friends. I'm to say, God, literally.
Speaker 4: God, I'm so sorry. But I so I think that
Speaker 4: that's what happened. I think I integrated the dark and
Speaker 4: the light, and that in my voice you can hear it.
Speaker 4: The soul is there, and the depth is there in
Speaker 4: a way that it never was. And there's a freedom.
Speaker 4: I mean, you heard me saying that song set me free.
Speaker 4: There's a freedom in feeling like I don't really care.
Speaker 4: I've already been through the hardest thing I could go through.
Speaker 4: I actually, when it comes down to it, don't really
Speaker 4: care what you think. This is for me, and this
Speaker 4: is for me and God, and this is between me
Speaker 4: and you know my songs, and so if you want
Speaker 4: to come along, that's wonderful and I welcome you, but
Speaker 4: I'm not doing it for that anymore.
Speaker 3: Isn't that crazy? We know a little bit about it.
Speaker 2: I know some darkness and coming through the other side
Speaker 2: and when the worst has happened. Yes, and you think
Speaker 2: when you literally hit rock bottom, and I've thought I've
Speaker 2: hit rock bottom before and I actually hit rock bottom
Speaker 2: one hundred.
Speaker 4: My song Mercy starts with saying, there's dirt in my
Speaker 4: nails from scraping the walls. I thought I hit bottom,
Speaker 4: So why am I still falling? It's happened same exact thing.
Speaker 4: You're like, there's more, are you kidding?
Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, yep.
Speaker 2: So it absolutely resonated with both of us, the words
Speaker 2: of mercy, by the way, oh my god, your voice
Speaker 2: and that holy moly. I actually just downloaded it and
Speaker 2: put it on my run playlist because I liked those
Speaker 2: kinds of yes, yes, like you got this and I
Speaker 2: need help, and you know I can't do this alone.
Speaker 2: Like all of those things resonate with so many people,
Speaker 2: but I think especially like listening to your music now
Speaker 2: and having just gone through the journey we went through.
Speaker 2: And I met you a year after my cancer journey,
Speaker 2: and so your fight song and it was we were
Speaker 2: a good morning America together, and I just you know,
Speaker 2: that was my anthem, and now I think mercy is
Speaker 2: going to be my anthem because enough but.
Speaker 3: Everyone has their moments.
Speaker 2: You don't ever see them coming most of the time,
Speaker 2: and then you have to figure out who you're going
Speaker 2: to be afterwards. But that's why I think your music,
Speaker 2: I mean, I love what you're saying that whole, Like
Speaker 2: here's me crossing zero FUCKX yes, Like when you get
Speaker 2: to a place and it's hard earned, when you can
Speaker 2: give like zero fix, sometimes that's when you're at your best.
Speaker 4: It's so true because the need that I had. And
Speaker 4: then I imagine we all being in an industry where
Speaker 4: where there's like eyes on it and we need to
Speaker 4: please people for our livelihood, right like, and we're being
Speaker 4: told that there are metrics now, like we start off
Speaker 4: doing this because there's joy and love to it, and
Speaker 4: it's like, well, at least for me, there's inspiration and
Speaker 4: there's something calling me to this career. And then you
Speaker 4: have massive success and you know know this too, you two,
Speaker 4: and then it doesn't get to be a just about
Speaker 4: this like dream or wish or wonder into this this
Speaker 4: world anymore. And all of a sudden, there's eyeballs on
Speaker 4: you and there's need for people who are making a
Speaker 4: lot of money off of you, for you to succeed
Speaker 4: and be liked, and so people are telling you how
Speaker 4: you have to be and what you can't be, and
Speaker 4: you can't really be yourself because you're so afraid how
Speaker 4: would what would it? What would happen if I actually
Speaker 4: spoke my truth? And it's just a terrifying place to be.
Speaker 4: So sometimes all of that just needs to fall and
Speaker 4: crash in order for the art to come back and
Speaker 4: for like the true and steadation to come back again.
Speaker 4: And I am so grateful it did, and I'm grateful
Speaker 4: for you guys, honestly, like how incredible that you are. Look,
Speaker 4: you hit the bottom and now you get to be
Speaker 4: zeros given and where do we do now?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: It's like amazing, you can write your book, you know
Speaker 4: you can write your story and I feel the same way.
Speaker 4: I'm like just beginning again in a way. Do you
Speaker 4: guys feel like that, like just the beginning in a way,
Speaker 4: our new beginning.
Speaker 1: Well, it's weird that it seems freeing, like you have
Speaker 1: to go through that. Oh I'm finally where I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to be. Oh yes, yes, But did I really have
Speaker 1: to go through? I did?
Speaker 3: You did.
Speaker 4: It's the hero's journey. It's the dark day of the soul.
Speaker 4: It's like Dante's inferno. You had to go through the fire.
Speaker 4: You That is literally how you find the freedom is
Speaker 4: the falling to your knees and not being able to
Speaker 4: take it anymore and crying mercy and being like enough,
Speaker 4: that is the only way to find the enlightened self
Speaker 4: of like freedom.
Speaker 1: But yes, it sucks, so sucks.
Speaker 2: It sucks. It sucks even more than you think. It's
Speaker 2: oh God, like you think, how did I get here?
Speaker 2: I know, I know, especially when you like, I love
Speaker 2: how you described yourself like positive, like you know, like yes,
Speaker 2: and everyone looks to you for the hope and inspiration
Speaker 2: and you're like, no, I need okay, I'm not I'm
Speaker 2: not okay, You guys.
Speaker 4: Gotter find someone else?
Speaker 1: Did we tell you every single one of our episodes
Speaker 1: turned into a therapy.
Speaker 4: Session when you were doing something right? That is what
Speaker 4: we need more than anything in the world.
Speaker 1: Do you remember a point to the point you just
Speaker 1: made about me with somebody was trying to get you
Speaker 1: to be something else? What was there? Can you point
Speaker 1: to a portion of your career, or even particular songs
Speaker 1: or an album to where it wasn't really you where
Speaker 1: you were trying to be something somebody else was trying
Speaker 1: to get you to be.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm actually so glad you asked me that, because
Speaker 4: I don't know if I've gotten to speak about it publicly.
Speaker 4: You know, friends and family know how I feel. But yeah,
Speaker 4: my second album, and it feels so common the story.
Speaker 4: You know, It's like you make your first album in
Speaker 4: your garage or in your bedroom and no one's really
Speaker 4: involved in it. And for Fight Song, I wrote it
Speaker 4: basically by myself wandering the city, wandering New York City
Speaker 4: and like just desperate to follow this dream. And it
Speaker 4: was so true and so honest, and all those songs
Speaker 4: were so no one was paying attention. I was playing
Speaker 4: to like three people in a bar. I wasn't thinking
Speaker 4: about what people needed from me. I wasn't anyone you know,
Speaker 4: I don't care what they need from me. And then
Speaker 4: all of a sudden, you have eyes on you and expectations,
Speaker 4: and like I said, a company that's putting a lot
Speaker 4: of money behind you, and a lot of companies putting
Speaker 4: a lot of money behind you, and there's just internalized.
Speaker 4: It wasn't like anyone outrights although that's actually don't you. Oh,
Speaker 4: I'll contact the I'll protect the people that aren't here.
Speaker 4: But you know, in the for the for the most part,
Speaker 4: it was internalized feeling of like, oh, okay, I now
Speaker 4: need to start competing, Like this is now not about
Speaker 4: me channeling God and my what I believe is my
Speaker 4: mission in the world, or you know, healing myself through
Speaker 4: my songwriting. Now this is about okay. So I'm number
Speaker 4: five on the billbirder, how do I get to number one?
Speaker 4: And who's number four, three, two and one? Okay? And
Speaker 4: it's the massive names that you know. So now no
Speaker 4: longer am I like in the circle of bleakers peat
Speaker 4: musicians we're all cheering each other on. Now I'm like
Speaker 4: comparing myself to the biggest superstars in the world. And
Speaker 4: of course I can't do I don't know how to
Speaker 4: do that. All I know what it do is be me.
Speaker 4: And so I'm like, oh, well, I shouldn't. I mean,
Speaker 4: the most ridiculous thing is that I stopped playing the
Speaker 4: piano live. Wow, Like, what the dick was going on
Speaker 4: with that? Why would I ever get off the piano?
Speaker 4: But I felt like, and I think it was I
Speaker 4: was told that I needed to start dancing. I am
Speaker 4: not a dancer. I go to a dance class every
Speaker 4: Tuesday because I want to crack up at myself. I
Speaker 4: am the worst. I'm in the back. I'm so awkward,
Speaker 4: and I just think it's so funny. And I bring
Speaker 4: my friends and they laughing and it is so fun.
Speaker 4: But I I should not be dancing on stage. I
Speaker 4: am a piano player. I've been classically trained since I
Speaker 4: was seven years old, sorry, six years old. Why the
Speaker 4: dick did I get off the piano? And and I
Speaker 4: just it was so confusing to me. I thought I
Speaker 4: had to be this thing. I had to be skinnier
Speaker 4: and wear tinier clothes and write, get injections and botox,
Speaker 4: which I stopped doing all that like five years ago.
Speaker 1: Did you dance for a while, Yeah, I dance.
Speaker 4: Call it dancing.
Speaker 1: I danced in some shows.
Speaker 4: Yes, really yes. It's so embarrassing, it's so silly. It's
Speaker 4: like I actually cringe thinking about it. What was I doing?
Speaker 4: Why wasn't I playing my instruments?
Speaker 2: Because someone is telling you what you have to do
Speaker 2: to be more successful, yes, or to be marketed the
Speaker 2: way they want you to be.
Speaker 4: And well what really? I remember what got it really
Speaker 4: internalized was what happened was after fight Song and this
Speaker 4: massive wave, and I wanted to be All of a sudden,
Speaker 4: I was like, well, I don't want to be perceived
Speaker 4: as like this hopeful, inspirational. I want to be cool.
Speaker 4: And I remember being obsessed with that idea of cool,
Speaker 4: which is so funny. It felt like it must have
Speaker 4: been a much younger me, because I haven't felt that
Speaker 4: way since middle school, but just this need of like
Speaker 4: how do I what's cool? How do I be cool?
Speaker 4: And who's cool? Oh? Like Halsey school at the time,
Speaker 4: you know, I don't know how do I be like that?
Speaker 4: And I gotta be moody. I have to stop smiling.
Speaker 4: I should dance and wear like and you should see
Speaker 4: these promo pictures from my second album, I'm like sad
Speaker 4: in a desert with like a fur coat on. My
Speaker 4: husband was like levelessly making fun of me. He's just
Speaker 4: walking moodily through a desert and fur like always just
Speaker 4: like so so unnatural, I'm so silly and so the
Speaker 4: whole second album. While look, they were true. They were
Speaker 4: true to an extent. They were, you know, truth because
Speaker 4: my songwriting was always a place I come home in
Speaker 4: the studio, I always come home to myself. But there
Speaker 4: was a deeper level of truth that I couldn't access
Speaker 4: because if I was telling the truth, the real truth
Speaker 4: at the time, it would be a scream of get
Speaker 4: away from me, what is happening. I'm so scared, I
Speaker 4: feel so alone, I feel like this could all go away.
Speaker 4: And I didn't tell that truth because I wasn't I
Speaker 4: didn't understand what I was feeling at the time. So yeah,
Speaker 4: I would say my second album, while I really love
Speaker 4: it and it's a bop and there's really fun songs
Speaker 4: on it, my god, it it was not truly who
Speaker 4: I am. I don't think.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things when you
Speaker 2: you work really hard to have this high level of success.
Speaker 3: You hit the success. Now it's like, how do I
Speaker 3: keep the success?
Speaker 4: Exactly? How do I want horrifying? Like it might leave
Speaker 4: after fifteen years exactly. I was playing in the city.
Speaker 4: Most people know the story by now, But if you don't,
Speaker 4: Fight Song didn't just come out of nowhere like it
Speaker 4: seemed to. I was touring in a van. I mean,
Speaker 4: I'm a true road dog musician. I was sleeping in
Speaker 4: my van. I was playing in house concerts and bars,
Speaker 4: and you know, I was my own booking agent. I
Speaker 4: was hungry and an independent musician. I was selling CDs
Speaker 4: out of my suitcase in the back of my van,
Speaker 4: and like that's how I was building my career. And
Speaker 4: that's where fight Song was born from. And then fight
Speaker 4: Song was just and then like, oh no, stop wearing
Speaker 4: your jeans and leather jackets, like go get glam and
Speaker 4: eyelashes and lose weight and do this and like so anyway,
Speaker 4: I don't even know, I.
Speaker 3: Said, well, we'll just think of the successive fight song
Speaker 3: I think carried you. By the way. I have a
Speaker 3: question for you. Did you perform at the bitter End.
Speaker 4: So many times? So many times? It was every show
Speaker 4: in New York was like very special in the beginning
Speaker 4: because I until I started learning how to really like
Speaker 4: go to the school of New York music, which is
Speaker 4: you play whenever and wherever someone will let you. Because
Speaker 4: my parents stopped supplementing my rent at like twenty four
Speaker 4: makes you hungry, right yep, And I was like, and
Speaker 4: my dad was like, look, I love you, but honey,
Speaker 4: if I keep helping you, you're never going to do this.
Speaker 4: And I was so scared because I had to, like
Speaker 4: your daughters, I had to waitress on the side, and
Speaker 4: I played from one am to four am, and I
Speaker 4: just hustled, and I sang commercials in the morning. And
Speaker 4: I so until I learned that kind of work ethic
Speaker 4: and that kind of hunger. Every show in New York
Speaker 4: like the Bitter end Ones, those my Bitter end days.
Speaker 4: They were so special, and I'd like invite all my
Speaker 4: college friends. And I did have quite a following because
Speaker 4: I was a nice girl in college, you know, and
Speaker 4: I had friends come, and so the places would let me,
Speaker 4: let me, would book me, yeah.
Speaker 3: Because then you could bring people into the bar, right.
Speaker 4: Exactly, you know, young people into the bar. But then
Speaker 4: it wasn't enough because I was making like a couple
Speaker 4: hundred dollars, So I had to figure out, well, how
Speaker 4: do I really do this?
Speaker 1: How do you write? You were you wrote fight song
Speaker 1: just kind of wandering around the streets of New York.
Speaker 1: How does a song like that come about? Are you
Speaker 1: kind of humming in your head? Are you sitting at
Speaker 1: a piano with a melody? Are you writing the lyrics?
Speaker 1: How did that song come about?
Speaker 4: That song took so much to write. I think because
Speaker 4: I probably subconsciously knew that it was going to break
Speaker 4: me open into the world. It was going to let
Speaker 4: me finally be seen, and I think I was a
Speaker 4: little scared to be seen. So it took two years
Speaker 4: to write. And the first beginning of it came very quickly,
Speaker 4: the way that I described most of my songs last
Speaker 4: night channeled in a studio, instantly coming through like oh,
Speaker 4: but it was a little it was a little like
Speaker 4: marching beat kind of was strange. Before I was like,
Speaker 4: this is my fight song. Time to dig back. And
Speaker 4: then I wrestled with the rest of it for two years. Wow,
Speaker 4: I know, I know, it was crazy, and I had
Speaker 4: so many different verses. No producer would produce sit because
Speaker 4: I was a nobody, and so I finally had to
Speaker 4: learn pro tools myself. I went to garage band on
Speaker 4: Fourteenth Street. I like hired some sweet looking nerd. Was like, no,
Speaker 4: I'm kidding. I was. I was the nerd, I mean
Speaker 4: no like, and we just geeked out for hours in
Speaker 4: my tiny, you know, walk up fourth floor apartment, and
Speaker 4: I learned pro tools and I learned how to produce
Speaker 4: it myself so that I could finally let it be heard.
Speaker 4: But that process, that whole thing took two years. And so, yeah,
Speaker 4: I was wandering through the city with versions of it
Speaker 4: in my ears. I was on the piano trying to
Speaker 4: figure out I was humming it wherever I was. I
Speaker 4: was just wrestling with it.
Speaker 2: Was it?
Speaker 1: Were you wrestling with the lyrics? Was that melody always there?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: No, no, none of it was always there? No, it
Speaker 4: has changed so much. Maybe an interesting thing would be
Speaker 4: to release some earlier versions.
Speaker 1: It would be Yeah, I was about to ask you
Speaker 1: to give us an earlier version. Now, is there any
Speaker 1: earlier version? You can remember it?
Speaker 4: Because you tons there are so many? Oh wow, there
Speaker 4: are so many. I had. I had like ten different
Speaker 4: verses and the bridge now is the first verse, But
Speaker 4: that was the bridge until the person that I finally
Speaker 4: produced it with, John Levigne, said hey, I think that
Speaker 4: should be the first person. I was like, but it's
Speaker 4: the bridge, Like, what are you talking about talking about?
Speaker 4: It sounded like my Boston.
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 2: And then for it to become the anthem it became
Speaker 2: for cancer like it they just it just so happened
Speaker 2: to be right along my journey, and it was. I
Speaker 2: have had so many runs where I've had that song
Speaker 2: on repeat, and I've cried through my runs seeing where
Speaker 2: I was, how I got through it. I don't cry,
Speaker 2: but your friends, you know what, but your songs are
Speaker 2: so true and that was like that's when you know,
Speaker 2: like you can't even stop the tears because they ring
Speaker 2: so true for you. But like you had to have
Speaker 2: been blown away when you were writing it. I couldn't
Speaker 2: have known that this would become the anthem. It became
Speaker 2: for so many people, not just cancer patients, but specifically
Speaker 2: cancer patients, anyone who was going through something really tough
Speaker 2: where they had to fight and find strength that they
Speaker 2: didn't know they had.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was it's pretty mind blowing what happened, and
Speaker 4: it's it's wild. It's so much bigger than me, you know.
Speaker 4: It's it's like it's just been such a journey, and
Speaker 4: I think part of the thing that I'm trying now
Speaker 4: to almost climb out from under it because it's so
Speaker 4: massive and people have made their decisions about who is
Speaker 4: that artist and who is the writer of it. They
Speaker 4: don't even know it's me. Some people think it's Taylor
Speaker 4: Swift or you know, Christina or Colby Perry Swift, everyone's
Speaker 4: Kelly Clarkson. Everyone's like, it's not her, who's that? Or
Speaker 4: they think I'm just the writer, or they think I'm
Speaker 4: just the artist, and I'm like, no, no, no, I
Speaker 4: wrote this by myself. I performed it and produced it.
Speaker 4: But so I'm trying to climb out from under that
Speaker 4: a massive thing now. And that's why until maybe you
Speaker 4: see me, it's hard to change, to understand that there's
Speaker 4: more to it. People have really decided what I am
Speaker 4: and what it is. So I think my job now
Speaker 4: is to just be as honest and truthful and authentic
Speaker 4: as I can, and hopefully people will open the curtain
Speaker 4: a little more and look behind and say, wait a second,
Speaker 4: who is there.
Speaker 1: To that point that concert last night, you could have
Speaker 1: ended that concert before playing fight Song, and I'd have
Speaker 1: been just as happy as I didn't need that song
Speaker 1: to be satiated about an experience with Rachel Platt. And
Speaker 1: I think more people that get in front to get
Speaker 1: to see you live. Man, you forget about no offense,
Speaker 1: but you forget it. But you said it in a
Speaker 1: way last night fight Song. You said, people ask you
Speaker 1: all the time you ever get tired of performing it?
Speaker 1: I know you do it constantly. You said, Hey, that
Speaker 1: song pay for my house. So I enjoyed that song.
Speaker 1: But it seems to take so much motion energy to
Speaker 1: belt that song out and to perform it. How do
Speaker 1: you get that? It seems like, oh it doesn't no, no.
Speaker 4: It's a joy, okay, just like the easy I no, no, no,
Speaker 4: It's like it's like breathing. It's so easy for me
Speaker 4: and not to be like I'm so great. But it
Speaker 4: the way that I perform it now is with such
Speaker 4: like such wisdom. You know, I'm not the maiden anymore.
Speaker 4: I'm the mother, and I'm I'm kind of looking back
Speaker 4: with love at the little girl that felt that way
Speaker 4: that she needed to crawl and climb her way up.
Speaker 4: And we all have fights, you know, like we still
Speaker 4: I have things that I want to reclaim. And you're
Speaker 4: right though the rest of my concert now tells that
Speaker 4: story already, So by the time you get there, you
Speaker 4: don't from a the Mattic point need I've already given
Speaker 4: you a different kind of encouragement that's almost deeper and
Speaker 4: more earned, because I've taken you to the dark and
Speaker 4: then let you come back to the light with me,
Speaker 4: and so you believe me more. And I'm really proud
Speaker 4: that I'll always get to play that song. Maybe there's
Speaker 4: a day I don't need to close the concert with it,
Speaker 4: but yeah, no, I I love it. I love playing it.
Speaker 4: It doesn't take anything from me. It means so much
Speaker 4: to me to see people crying in the audience, like
Speaker 4: it's so beautiful, It's so beautiful, what's happened with it?
Speaker 4: So I'll never I'll never, I'll never look at it
Speaker 4: with anything but love and admiration and gratitude. But I
Speaker 4: do feel like it's so much bigger than me and
Speaker 4: not even mine.
Speaker 1: But you're right, it is. It's joy that comes out.
Speaker 4: But it's just it seems a lot of energy, I know,
Speaker 4: and it.
Speaker 1: Was I can't remember the song last night, but people
Speaker 1: started in the audience were putting their arms around each other.
Speaker 2: I also listen to that on repeat as well. I
Speaker 2: know a lot of people you said in the audience
Speaker 2: got that was their wedding song.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which I totally get.
Speaker 4: Is that?
Speaker 3: Oh my god?
Speaker 2: It's you know what's so beautiful about your music is
Speaker 2: it really is? The songwriting comes through, and your intention
Speaker 2: comes through, and the warmth and authenticity of your voice
Speaker 2: just it's so powerful, and so I see why people
Speaker 2: chose that for.
Speaker 3: The wedding song. I'm like, oh my god, that is
Speaker 3: the perfect wedding song.
Speaker 1: We should use that one.
Speaker 4: We should, guys, what news being made here?
Speaker 1: No, it's just it should be on the list that
Speaker 1: it should be an option perform.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that should be like when you suppose we should
Speaker 2: have Rachel be there, surprise me and sing the song
Speaker 2: just forget anything you heard.
Speaker 3: All a surprise.
Speaker 4: That's cool.
Speaker 2: Cool. Obviously the music you have now and this beautiful.
Speaker 2: You've got three new hits, but you're still creating an album. Correct,
Speaker 2: there's an album that's going done.
Speaker 4: It's done, Yeah, yeah, yah, it's done.
Speaker 3: When is that being released?
Speaker 4: I'm not sure when this is coming out, or if
Speaker 4: I'll have announced it, I will not have announced it yet.
Speaker 4: So soon yes, yes, yes, soon soon than you might imagine.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's very exciting.
Speaker 4: What a dumb phrase?
Speaker 3: I don't know, but tell me.
Speaker 2: So, you're You've been very outspoken, and I know so
Speaker 2: many women are so grateful about your postpartum depression and
Speaker 2: your mental health struggles and just going through it, not
Speaker 2: just once, but the second time as well, because it
Speaker 2: doesn't always happen with every pregnancy. You unfortunately had a
Speaker 2: one two punch. Do you still have those really dark days?
Speaker 3: Are you?
Speaker 2: Are you pasted it? Are you through it? Give us
Speaker 2: a sense of where you are on that journey.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so kind of you to ask. I am.
Speaker 4: I'm so proud to be through it. And I have
Speaker 4: worked so hard in therapy and in saving my own
Speaker 4: life in so many ways. I also, what I have
Speaker 4: not really talked publicly about is that after the post
Speaker 4: part partum I struggled with a two year chronic pain journey.
Speaker 4: And so I just have such deep empathy for the
Speaker 4: people now who come up to me and tell me
Speaker 4: their stories. I really I felt like I always had
Speaker 4: love for them, but now I just relate on such
Speaker 4: a deeper level. My mom overcame cancer this year. I
Speaker 4: just feel like I've run the gamut all right, but
Speaker 4: I am through it, and I wouldn't be releasing the
Speaker 4: music if I wasn't. I didn't feel ready. I wrote
Speaker 4: Bad Thoughts in twenty twenty, but I was not ready,
Speaker 4: and I was still suffering for a long time, and
Speaker 4: so it took me a while to be strong enough
Speaker 4: and kind of accepting enough of my journey and where
Speaker 4: i'd been that it wasn't retriggering the trauma, because that
Speaker 4: happened just a little bit when when I released Mercy
Speaker 4: in January, I had some like flare ups of chronic
Speaker 4: pain because it was a little bit retriggering until I
Speaker 4: understood and worked on the fact that, like, no, I'm
Speaker 4: not back there. Just because I'm singing this doesn't mean
Speaker 4: I'm back there on the floor of my studio that night,
Speaker 4: sobbing and terrified. I'm going to look at this as
Speaker 4: a storytelling, you know, more of a place that I
Speaker 4: had been, and I'm going to relate to you with love.
Speaker 4: I'm going to relate with love to the Rachel that
Speaker 4: I was that day and I'm going to share the
Speaker 4: emotion from a place where I'm able to witness it
Speaker 4: and embody it, if that makes sense. Have you guys
Speaker 4: ever done any inner child work?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yes, I've been in therapy quite a bit.
Speaker 1: Idelchild.
Speaker 4: Wait so you meet all your tjs. No, it's incredible, you.
Speaker 2: Know, And it's unfortunately it takes these these moments where
Speaker 2: you are crippled in every way and you think help,
Speaker 2: I need help. I have to figure out why I'm
Speaker 2: here and how I got here exactly. So that's and
Speaker 2: that's a scary, vulnerable place to be. But when you
Speaker 2: can show it with other people, how how is there
Speaker 2: a way to describe how how bad it got, how
Speaker 2: low you got?
Speaker 3: What was.
Speaker 4: I really feel like if it had not been for
Speaker 4: the support system I had around me, and in particular
Speaker 4: my friend Gabby Bernstein, who I have not talked about
Speaker 4: this either, Dino Gabby.
Speaker 2: I've read all of her books, I've listened to all
Speaker 2: of her audio books while I run she is.
Speaker 3: I've not personally met.
Speaker 4: Her, but I am a huge fan. As a friend,
Speaker 4: she single handedly lifted me out of because she had
Speaker 4: been through postpartum depression and we had both suffered at
Speaker 4: the same time with our first I had a second
Speaker 4: and I called her and I said, I'm feeling this again,
Speaker 4: and this is what's happening, and she I was resistant
Speaker 4: to medication. I was so scared the first time. I
Speaker 4: didn't need an SSRI. I just was able to kind
Speaker 4: of stay in my little sort of wishy washy view
Speaker 4: of like Eastern medicine versus Western medicine, and I can
Speaker 4: heal myself naturally, and I'll go to get occupuncture and
Speaker 4: Chinese herbs, and I felt almost like a sense of pride,
Speaker 4: like oh, I don't need to actually and I just
Speaker 4: want to hold that girl with love because she was
Speaker 4: hurting and she found a way to help herself. But
Speaker 4: I remember being so resistant and so terrified of like
Speaker 4: does this mean I'm actually crazy if I have to
Speaker 4: start Zoloft or adavan or trasdom. I have so many
Speaker 4: My nice sand became like a fucking like chemists corner.
Speaker 4: I was like, and I was cutting pills. I was like,
Speaker 4: who am I? What is this life?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 4: How am I? I can't sleep without pills? This is
Speaker 4: so scary. And finally, Gabby, but before that happened, Gabby
Speaker 4: called me and was like Rachel, because I was like, Gab, yet,
Speaker 4: I haven't slept in seventy two hours. I can't even
Speaker 4: close my eyes without being terrified. Like I think I
Speaker 4: need to go to mental hospital. I don't know what's happening.
Speaker 4: She was like, Rachel, call your o beach Gyn right now,
Speaker 4: get outa van, which is a Benzo. And like I've
Speaker 4: been on a I called them at a girls to
Speaker 4: gently like find a love of something that was gonna
Speaker 4: heal me when nothing else could. And so now my
Speaker 4: view of western medicine is like, oh, thank God, thank God,
Speaker 4: God made this too. God's to work through anything. God's
Speaker 4: gonna work through medicine or meditation whatever. Hell He's like,
Speaker 4: but but he's in this too. And so she told me,
Speaker 4: go get out of it and take it tonight. I
Speaker 4: promise you will sleep, and then we need to get
Speaker 4: you on an SSRI and you need to get a psychiatrist,
Speaker 4: and you need to get serious about this because you
Speaker 4: will write like you. I don't know how dark it
Speaker 4: could have gotten if not for her and her getting
Speaker 4: through to me. So yeah, I think that not sleeping
Speaker 4: for seventy two hours was the most terrifying and scared
Speaker 4: I've ever been in my life, and it was horrible.
Speaker 1: What is it about you that had you built in
Speaker 1: such a way. I mean your upbringing, maybe your your
Speaker 1: family or something that had you so against getting help.
Speaker 4: Like you feel like my family, I'm from Boston, like
Speaker 4: I'm from Newton. They're so grounded and like I'm not.
Speaker 4: They're not in the LA world at all. We were.
Speaker 4: We always took medicine, and I don't know where the
Speaker 4: hell I think it's LA, Like I think something in
Speaker 4: the every girl goes through her like crystal phase, and
Speaker 4: I'm really someone that's just really eager and excited to
Speaker 4: like like ump jump on board with something. Even to
Speaker 4: this day, like you're like, oh my god, I'm like,
Speaker 4: oh yes, I get even more excited and I'm excitable,
Speaker 4: and I'm like you can convince me of things pretty easily.
Speaker 3: Yea, Oh my god.
Speaker 4: I'm just like really like yeah, I love that idea too.
Speaker 4: And so when I moved to LA that's like around
Speaker 4: when was that like ten years ago? I don't know.
Speaker 4: I feel like a lot of women in my age
Speaker 4: mid thirties, we were all kind of like holding our
Speaker 4: crystals really tight and like cleaning them in the new moon,
Speaker 4: and I don't know what we're doing, and I no offense.
Speaker 4: If that's working for you, that's so beautiful and like,
Speaker 4: bless you because good whatever makes you feel peace is amazing.
Speaker 4: And who can judge each other right now? But for me,
Speaker 4: it wasn't enough when it really when it really hit
Speaker 4: the you know, and I don't know where the idea
Speaker 4: came from. I also am a yogi, like a very
Speaker 4: serious yogi. I love yoga. I was doing it every day.
Speaker 4: I was very into meditation. I still am, but now
Speaker 4: my practices have become much more grounded and they can't
Speaker 4: be like, you know, very very like okay, now we're
Speaker 4: gonna channel in our guides like I can't do that
Speaker 4: anymore because I'll lose my mind. So I probably could now,
Speaker 4: but it would make me dissociate, which is a terrifying
Speaker 4: thing if you've never experienced it. And so now mine
Speaker 4: need to be very grounded. And a new friend of
Speaker 4: mine is Elizabeth Gilbert. Do you guys, yes, love her?
Speaker 3: You pray love. I mean, she's incredible, He's amazing.
Speaker 1: I don't roll in these circles.
Speaker 3: Pray love, you know you pray.
Speaker 1: You invite me to a brunch or something.
Speaker 4: It's a very like White Lady. No, not just White Lady,
Speaker 4: it's a very like it probably is. But she has
Speaker 4: a community right now called the love Lets. She's doing
Speaker 4: this dear love letter thing on substack. It is incredible.
Speaker 4: It's basically God writing to you, and hundreds of thousands
Speaker 4: of people are sharing letters that God writes to them
Speaker 4: every day and being so sacred and held by each other.
Speaker 4: It's amazing. I had posted one on Instagram and just
Speaker 4: was like, she did not ask me to do this,
Speaker 4: but I'm sharing mine And I got a message from
Speaker 4: her being like Rachel and I lost it because I'm
Speaker 4: such a fan and I love her so much and
Speaker 4: she asked me to do one for her. But anyway,
Speaker 4: why I digress is that she recommended to me this
Speaker 4: breath work. She's similar to me. You might think that
Speaker 4: she's like Crystal Lady, but she's actually pretty grounded and
Speaker 4: can't deal with yoga voice that she calls it. And
Speaker 4: it's like, okay, yeah, But she told me she founded
Speaker 4: this breathwork coach on insight timer and he just has
Speaker 4: a southern youtue insight timer.
Speaker 1: I do, and my jam that is okay, now finally
Speaker 1: we got something. We're good. We'll do our own brunch.
Speaker 4: I'm also from Boston. I'm like also a sports girl.
Speaker 2: Meditation was yes, Oh my goodness, yes, inside timer he
Speaker 2: told me about it.
Speaker 4: I downloaded because of teaching.
Speaker 1: But the ones you speak of that where they are
Speaker 1: doing those I don't want to knock anybody else who
Speaker 1: does that, agreed, But for me it's just stuck camp.
Speaker 3: I used to do.
Speaker 4: That and it was wonderful for me. But after having
Speaker 4: a major mental health crisis, they don't they aren't grounding
Speaker 4: enough and they can like take me off into the ethers.
Speaker 4: And so now mean to be very grounded. I'll send
Speaker 4: you my guy that I like.
Speaker 1: I like Rachel Blondin, you know her, Sarah Blondy, Sarah,
Speaker 1: I love you.
Speaker 4: I'm listening. Have you done that one?
Speaker 1: I haven't done the health court. Okay.
Speaker 4: That literally healed me loving myself. It was so grounded
Speaker 4: and simple, this radical act of saying to yourself I
Speaker 4: love you and listening.
Speaker 3: Over and over.
Speaker 1: She has some surrender a lot of things.
Speaker 4: But anyway, this guy Taylor, it's like southern and he's like,
Speaker 4: I'm like, I have to get this point out somewhere
Speaker 4: of the sky tailors.
Speaker 3: Like, please just say it.
Speaker 4: I think it's Taylor Somerville and he has these meditations
Speaker 4: on inside timer and they're like all right, y'all, now
Speaker 4: just take a deep breath in one, two, three, And I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, yes, we're Southern, so we like that.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's amazing, Rachel. Can I ask you how your
Speaker 3: husband has been throughout all of this?
Speaker 4: Oh, you mean with my battles with my mental health
Speaker 4: are just all of the ride of.
Speaker 3: The ride the right?
Speaker 2: I mean, look, you know, I'm always amazed when we
Speaker 2: were looking to see you all have been married for.
Speaker 4: Fourteen two years now, I.
Speaker 2: Mean I applaud that, like just like it's incredible. Yeah,
Speaker 2: what how has he handled all of this? He is
Speaker 2: such a quirky, funny guy. He's just everything is funny
Speaker 2: to him. Everything's he's just like full of jokes.
Speaker 4: I think in our marriage vows, I was like, I
Speaker 4: vow to love you and listen to your many many jokes.
Speaker 4: And he's just a funny, sarcastic Jewish guy from Miami
Speaker 4: who is like very rounded, very logical, very brilliant. He
Speaker 4: went to law school, in business school. He's so logical,
Speaker 4: left brain. We balance each other perfectly. He's my he's
Speaker 4: the into my I'm like I need him and he
Speaker 4: just makes me laugh all the time and he doesn't
Speaker 4: let me take anything seriously. So when all of this happened,
Speaker 4: he just was cracking up and he was just like
Speaker 4: behind the scenes, like, let's get that Britney money, baby,
Speaker 4: And I was like, what are you talking about, Kevin,
Speaker 4: He actually saw Britney spears in an event, and he
Speaker 4: like like, oh, I can't actually say what he does,
Speaker 4: but he's just so he's just he's never let me.
Speaker 4: He's also very grounding and like he's always making fun
Speaker 4: of me constantly. So if I had like ridiculous outfits
Speaker 4: on like today, I told you, he was like, I'm wearing,
Speaker 4: by the way, for anyone listening, I'm wearing a jumpsuit.
Speaker 4: It's a fashionable jumpsuits, it is, and I'm wearing a
Speaker 4: fashionable hat. But my husband told me this morning, baby,
Speaker 4: make sure you get those high windows instead of like
Speaker 4: a window washer.
Speaker 2: Right, you were describing TJ to me, Oh, I know
Speaker 2: they'd like each other constantly.
Speaker 3: Making fun of me. Yeah, obviously, I think it's hilarious exactly,
Speaker 3: And so.
Speaker 4: It worked exactly. I need to be made fun of.
Speaker 4: You couldn't, Kevin said. Kevin says, without him, I'd be unbearable.
Speaker 2: Oh well, we were friends for like eight years and
Speaker 2: all he did was make.
Speaker 4: Fun of me. It's just what you need, right, yes,
Speaker 4: because for us, like ye, taker's also seriously, please No, it.
Speaker 1: Just wasn't long ago you would dress like something. And
Speaker 1: I said, I know. He was, oh yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: we came in here, they sawry Rachel. She came in
Speaker 1: and she wow, look forward to that horse to ride
Speaker 1: and lesson.
Speaker 4: Yet I mean because I had fashion.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, high boots are in and like made a
Speaker 3: little a.
Speaker 4: Real Rachel Blatten Twitter when everything started happening, and like
Speaker 4: it was him running it, and there was a lot
Speaker 4: of people following it, not like maybe a couple thousand,
Speaker 4: and he would just post pictures of like embarrassing things,
Speaker 4: and like he posted me with three donkeys and he
Speaker 4: was like four asses for me, like in a ski
Speaker 4: lift of my legs up and he's like, Rachel platting
Speaker 4: skiing like an asshole.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. He just sent me pictures of myself
Speaker 3: that he took.
Speaker 2: But I didn't know from the weekend where I look
Speaker 2: like an idiot, and just for no reason, this morning
Speaker 2: he sent me eight pictures where I look like an
Speaker 2: absolute war.
Speaker 1: Do you want to tell Rachel what you were doing
Speaker 1: in those, Rachel, Rachel, go ahead, tell her tell me, Rachel.
Speaker 1: She was changing her pants in the parking lot.
Speaker 3: Of a trail.
Speaker 1: Head of a trail, do the same thing, but the
Speaker 1: door was open. She's in the driver's seat and just
Speaker 1: just draws out and open just me.
Speaker 4: We are so compact to go.
Speaker 2: And then he's taking pictures of me.
Speaker 1: I turned the volleme off on my phone so she
Speaker 1: can hear going.
Speaker 2: And then he waited a few days, and then today
Speaker 2: this morning, he just decided to send all of them
Speaker 2: to me.
Speaker 4: You're gonna be Kevin told me that I actually can't
Speaker 4: get any more famous because of how inappropriate I am
Speaker 4: and how like antisocial my behavior is on the street.
Speaker 4: He's like, you can't just pick your nose if you're
Speaker 4: like very famous.
Speaker 1: I can't ask you this, how many if if we
Speaker 1: if the text messages between you and your husband became public,
Speaker 1: how much trouble would you be in.
Speaker 4: I think that it's mostly me bossing him around, being
Speaker 4: like did you do this? Did you get the kids?
Speaker 4: And then him making fun of me? And I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know, because we'd be in trouble. Well, you
Speaker 1: gotta have someone in your life that if you have
Speaker 1: text messages between the two of you, do you mean
Speaker 1: would inappropriately?
Speaker 2: We can't the country Sorry, peaches and eggplant lots.
Speaker 1: Of I wasn't even thinking that.
Speaker 2: We're just we just say all the things you can't
Speaker 2: say to anyone else to each other. When you have
Speaker 2: that person, judgment free like right, and even if you're
Speaker 2: judging each other, that's okay as long as you know.
Speaker 4: I feel permission to just be my real self with Deven,
Speaker 4: and I thank God for that because in a time
Speaker 4: that was very confusing when I didn't know who I was,
Speaker 4: he always did.
Speaker 3: That's that's really cool.
Speaker 2: I think that's really the key to having that relationship last,
Speaker 2: because you trust each other. And it sounds like you
Speaker 2: guys are like really good friends.
Speaker 3: Your best friend is my best friend.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So many people love your fight song as this inspiration.
Speaker 1: She runs to it all the time. I absolutely have
Speaker 1: run to it before, and I think it's that so
Speaker 1: many people have songs that get them going. What is
Speaker 1: your song? What is your go to? If you're not
Speaker 1: listening to that, you need some inspiration to pick me up,
Speaker 1: a good workout, whatever it may be.
Speaker 4: Well, oh my god, do you guys like gospel music
Speaker 4: by any chance?
Speaker 1: Like it? Don't listen to a lot of it, but I.
Speaker 4: Love it and I love Kirk Franklin. And I listened
Speaker 4: to a song called Brighter Day and that one gets
Speaker 4: me going no matter what. It is so affirming and
Speaker 4: joyful and like, yeah, man, I love gospel music so much.
Speaker 4: And I met Kirk at super Bowl Super Soul Sunday.
Speaker 4: I think I was the only white person. Maybe there
Speaker 4: was like five white people. I was terrified. I was
Speaker 4: on stage about to perform with.
Speaker 3: You didn't dance right?
Speaker 4: Oh thank god? Noess, And they were just they were
Speaker 4: so massively talented Mary Mary went before Franklin. They're all
Speaker 4: like legends. In my eyes. I'm just in awe and
Speaker 4: I'm on stage, like, oh my god, this audience is
Speaker 4: gonna hate me. But I start singing Mercy and they
Speaker 4: were with me. I had them and they loved it,
Speaker 4: and I felt Yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Just felt cool. I finally felt cool.
Speaker 4: I felt so well, just like so proud, you know,
Speaker 4: and Kirk was like wow, and we became friends and
Speaker 4: so it's cool to meet your heroes.
Speaker 1: I love Kirk. I've been I've known him for a
Speaker 1: long time as well, out of Atlanta. If you go
Speaker 1: look up now. As crazy as this sounds, if you
Speaker 1: go listen, you remember his song Smile. Of course, look
Speaker 1: at that video you will see me in it. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm in the Kirk Franklin Smile video. Care
Speaker 1: is low and cropt, but he had all of us
Speaker 1: come in and sing versions. And there's a clip of me. Yes,
Speaker 1: Kirk Franklin sick. Yes, I love that, bro. I did
Speaker 1: not know ye how it all comes together as well.
Speaker 3: You never thought you'd be talking about.
Speaker 4: So much Ingram. Should we be friends? Forget about any
Speaker 4: you know, well, I don't know if we can be.
Speaker 1: Our producer sent me video of you dancing in a video,
Speaker 1: so they just sent it. So it's not it's not
Speaker 1: it's not what you described, Rachel, is not what you described.
Speaker 4: I guarantee Rachel too.
Speaker 3: I know Rachel. I guarantee that you're a better dancer
Speaker 3: than me.
Speaker 1: It's so it's it's not bad now, it's different. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's this is wildest.
Speaker 4: Thing is different?
Speaker 1: Well no, no, no, no, no no no, that's not what
Speaker 1: I meant. No stop stop. What I meant was I
Speaker 1: can't imagine. We were so shocked when you said they
Speaker 1: tried to have you dancing on stage, because if anyone
Speaker 1: went to that concert last night, I couldn't imagine that
Speaker 1: person trying to be some pop star and dance and
Speaker 1: it just seems out of your comforts. And not to
Speaker 1: say you were bad at it at all, but you
Speaker 1: were just such an artist last night.
Speaker 3: It was so cool to watch man, Thank you.
Speaker 1: It was so cool to watch.
Speaker 2: Your piano skills are incudib so good, so good.
Speaker 4: I worked I like since listening to gospel and I
Speaker 4: just kind of I just up to my cords. I
Speaker 4: just started to understand, like, wait a second, if this
Speaker 4: is what I like an Americana and like roots and soul,
Speaker 4: I I better learn to play like this so I
Speaker 4: can write one of these. So that was what I
Speaker 4: did over the pandemic? Was I love that?
Speaker 2: So you you just had a birthday, you turned forty three.
Speaker 2: How do you feel a woman in your forties now?
Speaker 2: Like for so many women are afraid of getting older.
Speaker 2: They're afraid of aging, they're afraid of becoming or losing.
Speaker 3: Their their youth.
Speaker 4: I love that.
Speaker 3: How has it been for you? You know?
Speaker 4: I spiritually absolutely love getting older. I think it is
Speaker 4: the most incredible thing. I would never go back to
Speaker 4: my twenties now are my thirties? Ever? You couldn't pay
Speaker 4: me enough to be to not know who I am
Speaker 4: again and to be thinking I needed to look outside
Speaker 4: for approval and for saving, you know. But that being said,
Speaker 4: so that's my inside, and then outside there's vanity. Of course,
Speaker 4: you know, it's harder. And I did make the decision
Speaker 4: when I had my babies that I was going to
Speaker 4: stop getting botox and fillers and stuff, because I was like,
Speaker 4: I want my girls to be able to see what
Speaker 4: aging looks like and not feel like they have to
Speaker 4: be this thing that they're going to see everywhere on
Speaker 4: TikTok and Instagram that they don't even know what like
Speaker 4: forty three should look like anymore. And I so sometimes,
Speaker 4: of course, I'll like, you know, look in the mirror
Speaker 4: and be like, man, she looks old and tired, but
Speaker 4: which like a little bit of botox could so easily fix.
Speaker 4: But when I connect with what my real you know
Speaker 4: what my intention is. It's really to be as authentic
Speaker 4: and who and natural as I can. And that is
Speaker 4: no shade to anyone because I did it for years.
Speaker 4: I got botox for so long, and I understand the pressure,
Speaker 4: but I especially want to reach like young girls who
Speaker 4: think that they need to do preventative stuff like that
Speaker 4: is a lie. First of all, they are lying to you.
Speaker 4: I did that when I was twenty nine because someone
Speaker 4: told me I should preventively. It made my wrinkles worse.
Speaker 4: I just want people to know that is not the thing.
Speaker 4: That is not a thing. Stop. And I love my face.
Speaker 4: I love the lines that I've earned, and I love
Speaker 4: you know, I'm proud of it. So but there are times,
Speaker 4: of course, you know, when I'm looking at the music
Speaker 4: video screen, I feel a little like, oh man.
Speaker 3: It's it's tough.
Speaker 2: And the pressure now because you're seeing like teenagers getting
Speaker 2: getting oh yeah, the lips and all of that.
Speaker 4: Oh and lips. I'm so sorry. I just think that
Speaker 4: we're too old to understand.
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't understand either, but yeah, no, and as
Speaker 2: your girls get older, it is true, it's a constant
Speaker 2: conversation because you want them to feel good enough, you know, and.
Speaker 4: See their mom and say, ye, my mom loved herself
Speaker 4: enough that, like, you know, my mom always did that.
Speaker 4: My mom is so beautiful and she never did anything
Speaker 4: to her face and was always adamant. And I also
Speaker 4: understand that this is a pretty privilege, Like I happen
Speaker 4: to be a pretty woman, and so it's probably easier
Speaker 4: for me to make that decision. And so that's something
Speaker 4: that I recognize, and that isn't fair and it's you know,
Speaker 4: but at the same time, I'm only deal with the
Speaker 4: face and the body that I have.
Speaker 1: So I'm have you stopped all that stuff now, you
Speaker 1: won't do anything what's your upkeeper maintenance or routine or what.
Speaker 4: Is the well I will still work really hard, Like
Speaker 4: I'm still vain and I tried wanted to be you know,
Speaker 4: in any way not natural. So look, this is also
Speaker 4: an income thing. Income. I have a lot of money
Speaker 4: to spend on facials and a lot of money to
Speaker 4: spend on products, and that's not what everyone can do.
Speaker 4: So I also recognize that in a way, how I'm
Speaker 4: if I really wanted to like represent the public, then
Speaker 4: I wouldn't use all these expensive products. But I'm just
Speaker 4: doing what I can, you know, and I have expensive products.
Speaker 4: I get expensive facials, I get micro dem abration, and
Speaker 4: I get I do the things. I do what I can.
Speaker 1: But forgive me, I feel weird now after asking me
Speaker 1: like questions, you're a regiment because I am. Okay, stay
Speaker 1: with let me try to figure this out there mode.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's like should I do it?
Speaker 2: It's like it's like the lights Like no, it's like
Speaker 2: they it's like the heat stuff that they put into
Speaker 2: it hurts a lot, but I try. I don't do
Speaker 2: fillers at all because I don't want to do that either.
Speaker 4: I just thank God.
Speaker 3: But I do do botox.
Speaker 2: I do do botox, but I do not do fillers.
Speaker 2: But I do like the vampire facial thing where they're
Speaker 2: taking your own blood and put it back in.
Speaker 4: Trying to do these things on that I don't want
Speaker 4: to try that. Yeah, that I got it. I'm way behind.
Speaker 3: Okay, well I'm also ten years old.
Speaker 1: What about razor? What's the thing this thing?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: I did microblading. I've made my eyebrows.
Speaker 4: Oh that is so smart. Instead of being a dumb
Speaker 4: dumb and drawing him in every day I.
Speaker 3: Know those are the things I want to do.
Speaker 4: I have, like a lot of freckles from the sun though.
Speaker 3: Is great, it's just there. Yes, they're beautiful. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 3: you are like my daughter. It's crazy, right, ickles. Well,
Speaker 3: she's got these beautiful freckles.
Speaker 2: She embraces them and loves them, and I think they're
Speaker 2: gorgeous on YouTube.
Speaker 4: But I think that I'm lying because there are times
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh my lord, I look like an eighty
Speaker 4: year old with all my the age spots and freckles.
Speaker 4: But whatever, I feel like i'm getting into, like superficial.
Speaker 4: But I feel like, here's the thing. What is inside
Speaker 4: of me is so clear to me now, like what
Speaker 4: i'm herefore that I'm loved by God, by myself, by
Speaker 4: my girls, Like I know what matters. And so when
Speaker 4: I get quiet and do my breath work on the inside,
Speaker 4: timer I love myself so deeply and because of who
Speaker 4: I am inside, not the outside. And when I feel
Speaker 4: that way, then I look in the mirror and love
Speaker 4: who I see there too, regardless of if she's tight
Speaker 4: or tone in her skinny or whatever, like I love her.
Speaker 4: But if I haven't up kept my inside, then I
Speaker 4: start criticizing the outside. So whenever I start getting a
Speaker 4: little too critical of how I look, I know it's
Speaker 4: time to do some soul work.
Speaker 1: That's really cool, man, that's good advice.
Speaker 4: Wow. Yeah, myself.
Speaker 2: But it's beautiful to be able to find a way
Speaker 2: to compliment yourself and to appreciate the work you've done,
Speaker 2: recognize it, and own it.
Speaker 3: And that is a part of your confidence. That is well.
Speaker 1: It's been a pleasure getting to know you through your
Speaker 1: music more over the past week or so as we
Speaker 1: were getting ready for the concert, and I can't say
Speaker 1: it enough. I know the big arenas are great, but
Speaker 1: if somebody, if I hear you're going to be at MSG,
Speaker 1: that's one thing. If I hear you had another venue
Speaker 1: like the one we saw last night, or at a
Speaker 1: small bar, or in a lounge or something that is
Speaker 1: where you should be enjoyed, you are just ridiculous on stage.
Speaker 1: Somebody standa give them a mic and a piano. Give
Speaker 1: my mic and a guitar. That I have no greater respects, sister,
Speaker 1: It is a pleasure. And I will tell you when
Speaker 1: you came out, she was so excited last night, But
Speaker 1: when you first came out, on stage, she leaned over
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 3: Ah, she's so cute.
Speaker 1: I swear to it was exactly what she said to me.
Speaker 1: So please know this one here has been raving way
Speaker 1: about Amy.
Speaker 4: I think she's adorable and beautiful and wonderful and charismatic
Speaker 4: and TJ you are delightful as well, handsome and dashing
Speaker 4: and fit.
Speaker 1: As an aside, yes, yes, before we went in, you
Speaker 1: remember the girl. She's treating me like the woman last night.
Speaker 1: You remember we were sitting a weird cousin. Well, I
Speaker 1: hope not. But before we came into your count we
Speaker 1: had a drink. I had margarita around the corner before
Speaker 1: we came to church. Of course we drink. But a
Speaker 1: woman came up and was the woman that said to you,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's so great. I loved your book.
Speaker 1: Everything is so great. And she just looked over at
Speaker 1: me and said whatever, okay, And we did know this
Speaker 1: is a true story, okay, And she just kept talking
Speaker 1: the robes and it.
Speaker 3: Was sweet and said you're.
Speaker 1: Great and that she kept going and said it again
Speaker 1: at the end, you know, and did this And I
Speaker 1: never said anythings to the woman.
Speaker 4: It was it was crazy.
Speaker 1: And unnecessary, but that's deeply unnecessary. But you triggered me
Speaker 1: just then by saying to Ja, we can be a
Speaker 1: friend as an aside, so that's all.
Speaker 4: Sorry.
Speaker 2: It was funny, we were we actually laughed because you're wonderful.
Speaker 1: No, no, eazy. But it made me think about that
Speaker 1: woman and then.
Speaker 2: And then she was at your concert by the way.
Speaker 3: He was like, look, it's the woman.
Speaker 4: My cousin.
Speaker 2: I think she thought she was being funny, but it
Speaker 2: was actually really disrespectful and rude.
Speaker 4: And the people are like they think that, They're like, yeah,
Speaker 4: people just don't always know what to do. They get nervous,
Speaker 4: they get really intimidated. You're you know, you're like a tall,
Speaker 4: good looking man.
Speaker 3: They're probably like, I am the sweetest but but.
Speaker 4: All right, I have to go. I love you guys,
Speaker 4: So we love you.
Speaker 2: We love you, We love you, and thank you for coming.
Speaker 2: It's such a pleasure. We cannot wait for the album announcement.
Speaker 2: We will be waiting on the edge of our seats
Speaker 2: and I will.
Speaker 4: Be honestly, it was so such a joy.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Rachel Platton