Speaker 1: Do you think Justin Guarini watches Kelly Clarksmon's talk show
Speaker 1: just like polishes a handgun, and like you said, he's
Speaker 1: just like every day in two PM, it was first
Speaker 1: on himself, from Justice to Kelly and then just he's mad.
Speaker 1: He's big man. My crop chips in your man mass
Speaker 1: are racist as the money many stuff. I can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep,
Speaker 1: there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
Speaker 1: to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the
Speaker 1: podcast where we died deep, deep into the pockets of
Speaker 1: black conspiracy, they reason, and we finally worked to prove
Speaker 1: that when Tony Tony Tony says, Tony Tony, Tony has
Speaker 1: done it again, what they're talking about is another drone
Speaker 1: strike in the Middle East. That's right. These motherfucker's are evil.
Speaker 1: They've been doing it for years. They're they're bad people.
Speaker 1: And we were singing along this entire time like that
Speaker 1: ship was cute, but it's not cute. They've murdered a
Speaker 1: lot of families. Shame on you, Raphael said, will never
Speaker 1: forgive you for how many people you've taken out of
Speaker 1: this world. Anyway, I'm your host, Lankstick Kerman coming in
Speaker 1: hot as always. That's that's sort of my thing. You
Speaker 1: guys are getting used to the way that I come in,
Speaker 1: and boy do I come in hot every single time.
Speaker 1: But you know who's also gonna come in hot. I
Speaker 1: got a good feeling about this one, yo. I got
Speaker 1: a real good feeling my guest today. He's a motherfucker
Speaker 1: known for coming in hot as his as his whole vibe.
Speaker 1: He just comes in real cool and real hot at
Speaker 1: the exact same time. You guys know him from his
Speaker 1: super I I really enjoyed it, and I had the
Speaker 1: pleasure of being on his brand new podcast called NBA
Speaker 1: story Time. He has another podcast called Airbuds. He's known
Speaker 1: in the industry as Mr Sporty Spice. That was something
Speaker 1: he specifically told me to tell you all, and God
Speaker 1: damn it, do I believe it. He's hilarious. You're gonna
Speaker 1: love him. Please give it up for Jamal Johnson, just
Speaker 1: growing on. Whoa Lankston, thanks for having me. Sporty Spice
Speaker 1: is correct. You tell U t A, you tell everybody
Speaker 1: it's uh c a A tell all the niggas the
Speaker 1: Spices back the scary hours and and I got. And
Speaker 1: let me tell you another thing, Raphael Sadik. We we
Speaker 1: ain't even get into the Lucy Pearl files. We ain't
Speaker 1: even get into what Lucy Pearl did to the children.
Speaker 1: Oh ship, I know what the Oaktown stroke is. Uh,
Speaker 1: I know what it is now. Yeah, we were sitting
Speaker 1: back thinking that was a sexual move. It was not
Speaker 1: funck No, it's a move to the fucking button. Yeah,
Speaker 1: knock knocking some heads off. You just got a nuclear
Speaker 1: button hitting in one of his guitar strings. That man
Speaker 1: is a bad person. I'm sure now that whole ship
Speaker 1: is diabolical. Also, if you hear me cough, I just
Speaker 1: smoked a bunch of weeds before this, so well you
Speaker 1: know I'm using them. The organic papers don't agree with
Speaker 1: my my lungs. Oh so you're you're more of a
Speaker 1: just the poison paper. It's kind of man. Just yeah, bleach,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, put the bleach, put the coat in, the
Speaker 1: bleach on it, Put the best sides on it, put
Speaker 1: the round up on it. Around weird asbestos that they
Speaker 1: had to put on it just to make it smell
Speaker 1: a certain way. I got you dust light put that
Speaker 1: on there and put a little you know, the touch
Speaker 1: of embalment fluid. Let's get what Let's just a little smack,
Speaker 1: just a schmig shrink, like like if Emerald Agassi did it,
Speaker 1: he wouldn't Yale Bam. It was not even enough for
Speaker 1: half of BAM's worth. No, no, it's a week day.
Speaker 1: We're not gonna get that. We're not about to get that. Lyddy,
Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, let's jump into this because you
Speaker 1: came with a conspiracy theory that I had long and
Speaker 1: I guess to some extent still long believe it's a
Speaker 1: it's sort of a big one in the the black
Speaker 1: conspiracy theory, youth. You know what I mean. You said,
Speaker 1: my mama told me black people can't get lice because
Speaker 1: we use hair grease. Yeah, the lights can't survive when
Speaker 1: your hair is that good looking. So wait, let's pause
Speaker 1: for a second because you're framing. When you said hair grease.
Speaker 1: I presumed that you were going to suggest that these
Speaker 1: lights were slipping off, but you're instead of suggesting that
Speaker 1: you look too damn good and the lights are like,
Speaker 1: I can't do this to the man. Come on, man,
Speaker 1: it's just about to be all on him. I gotta
Speaker 1: I can't do this to him, this many house. No,
Speaker 1: I gotta go through them. I gotta my bad. I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to nothing like that. I apologize honestly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my joke, I don't even got the right shoes on
Speaker 1: my back, my faults. I mean that's what I thought.
Speaker 1: Like what I actually think is, Yeah, it's some sort
Speaker 1: of like the lights are like they just get it
Speaker 1: as soon as it hits them, soon as the pink
Speaker 1: lotion gets the skin. It's like immediate disintegration. Oh so
Speaker 1: this is like an acidic thing where it's like there
Speaker 1: their armored bodies, there their one weakness. It's sort of
Speaker 1: like in Signs when those aliens that we're creeping around
Speaker 1: you find out that a glass of water is their
Speaker 1: one weakness. Yeah, I got actually all that olive oil
Speaker 1: to can't to any any cant To product, just sending
Speaker 1: them straight to Avengers and no, oh no it's over.
Speaker 1: That's our one weakness. Was that. Okay, let's start from
Speaker 1: the beginning, because I have to assume that this is
Speaker 1: a conspiracy theory that you have long believed, that this
Speaker 1: is something you grew up with. Tell me about that.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I want to say you know, my mom
Speaker 1: just comes from my mom getting me ready for school,
Speaker 1: you know, from day one, and somewhere around first or
Speaker 1: second grade, she's putting some pink glocition in my shop.
Speaker 1: Is like, yeah you need this. We can't, we don't
Speaker 1: get like and this is why. And from that moment
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, it's like it's like a protective
Speaker 1: coating from whiteness. You know what I'm saying, Like a
Speaker 1: little shield, little glaze when I go out in the streets.
Speaker 1: I got you a little saran wrapt with saran wrap
Speaker 1: to help protect you from whatever might come your way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Life Storers, General white thoughts. Does anything that might penetrate Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: could be guest to be a man's opinion on broccoli
Speaker 1: in the way that it's meant to be cooked. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: I'm saying mentioning asparacus or like the concept of brunch. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you're saying, all right, this this pink lotion or
Speaker 1: these hair products or the thing that that protects me.
Speaker 1: I guess the question that immediately comes to mind because
Speaker 1: I had long presumed that black people just couldn't get
Speaker 1: it get lights period, Like lights didn't familiar hair are
Speaker 1: you saying that your mom, as she presented it to you,
Speaker 1: was without the pink ocean, you are in fact vulnerable
Speaker 1: to the possibility of life. It was a little bit
Speaker 1: of both. It was kind of like, we can't but like, listen,
Speaker 1: you don't want to tempt faith, right, double down? I
Speaker 1: got you. You were vaccinated, but you still want your mask? Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: keep your mask on. Yeah, you keep your mask on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: throw some blue magic in there. Here's the mask inside
Speaker 1: of your mask. But no way that COVID getting through.
Speaker 1: Oh man, I can't believe. I haven't seen that on
Speaker 1: subway creatures yet. Dude putting wave grease, putting Paul made
Speaker 1: inside of his mask, just come out with a beard
Speaker 1: with waves and no disease. That's not what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: If you put Paul made, you can use the same
Speaker 1: mask for seven days, if you breathed inside that for
Speaker 1: detective layers, gonna keep you safe. Okay, So so your
Speaker 1: mom is telling you this is like an additional level
Speaker 1: of protection you are going to school. Are you then
Speaker 1: telling other people like, hey, y'all, f y I we
Speaker 1: can't get lights. I hope you put your pink lotion
Speaker 1: on the day because then we we especially can't or
Speaker 1: you like, now this is our little secret. I ain't
Speaker 1: really gonna put people on. Yeah. I kind of kept it,
Speaker 1: kept it to myself and just kept an eye on
Speaker 1: who got lights. You know what. I'm like, I'm just
Speaker 1: watching the boards every day. I'm checking in with the
Speaker 1: nurse every now and again, like, anybody come through here,
Speaker 1: what's up? What's what's what's up with you lately? And
Speaker 1: it's de niece. We gotta need we got Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: what's what's what do you do before lunch today? Did
Speaker 1: you know anybody growing up that that got lights? Honestly? No.
Speaker 1: And I went to a pretty black elementary school, so
Speaker 1: oh black, okay, so you are very black people were
Speaker 1: your peers. Yeah, it was like it would be like
Speaker 1: two or three white kids in my elementary school class, damn,
Speaker 1: and none of them got lights. Yeah. No, I think
Speaker 1: they got the hurt immunity. Sure, I think if if
Speaker 1: I'm understanding her immunity correctly, at least in the original
Speaker 1: version of what hurt any immunity was meant to be,
Speaker 1: if you can get seventy people to essentially make themselves
Speaker 1: like immune to this thing via quarantine, exposure and or
Speaker 1: or vaccination, then everybody becomes safe because it's harder for
Speaker 1: the thing to to transfer. I have to assume lights
Speaker 1: is similar that if you're in a school primarily filled
Speaker 1: with black people, then they're essentially being made safe by
Speaker 1: the fact that there's nobody to help transfer this thing
Speaker 1: to them in the other direction. Bro, it must be
Speaker 1: because I definitely, like I said, from the moment I
Speaker 1: heard it, I'm looking around at everybody. Y, I need
Speaker 1: to know whose guy? What? What is this ship? Right?
Speaker 1: And it never came up. I think there was you
Speaker 1: know what. Okay, So I did. I went to a
Speaker 1: wider elementary school when I first heard this, and there
Speaker 1: might have been I don't know if that kid got it.
Speaker 1: There was just one weird kid. Yeah. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: he definitely got it, you know what I'm saying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it was kind of just him. And then I
Speaker 1: went to black or elementary school in my neighborhood. It
Speaker 1: was like a reverse. I did both reverses. So at
Speaker 1: first my I was getting bussed to a whider school,
Speaker 1: you know, I was like one of these fucking dumbass,
Speaker 1: smart kid elementary schools, some magnet where they Yeah, We're
Speaker 1: gonna take him out of his neighborhood and show him
Speaker 1: the real worlds like, fuck you, I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: then I was like what for? Then I did the reverse.
Speaker 1: The school in my neighborhood was also was another Magnet school,
Speaker 1: but they was busting the white kids in m hmm,
Speaker 1: I got you. So in this scenario, it was in
Speaker 1: your neighborhood and white people had to come visit for
Speaker 1: part of their day too, I guess get a better education.
Speaker 1: I don't know how that works. Yeah, I mean, hey,
Speaker 1: they learned how to uh you know, duck school security
Speaker 1: and go across the street to the corner store if
Speaker 1: nothing else. Yeah, that's a that's a fair time. I'm
Speaker 1: not mad at that. That's pretty true. That's how you
Speaker 1: learn life skills in a different direction, for sure. Man,
Speaker 1: you gotta know how to, you know, move in a
Speaker 1: room full of voters. So nobody you knew growing up
Speaker 1: except from one weird kid and up with ever one
Speaker 1: weird white kid who was white. Nobody else. Life has
Speaker 1: never been a thing in my life, and was I
Speaker 1: only know a couple like two niggers who got bad bugs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we it was in a strange way, we've actually
Speaker 1: done an episode about bed bugs. Clark Jones came with
Speaker 1: a conspiracy theory that he thinks that mattress companies actually
Speaker 1: are developing and increasing the the amount of bed bugs
Speaker 1: basically so that they can keep selling more magic sense.
Speaker 1: It does make a lot of sense. And I'm not high,
Speaker 1: and I still was like, all right, I'm listening, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like for sure, it's sort of
Speaker 1: it all clicks together. That said, it is interesting that
Speaker 1: that same theory about like the hair grease and the
Speaker 1: oils that we use for our skin does not apply
Speaker 1: to other insects, right, Like we black people are not
Speaker 1: above and infestation of certain kinds. We're just saying it
Speaker 1: sounds like the the main theory is that the infestation
Speaker 1: doesn't really happen to your your person as much as
Speaker 1: it might happen to your items. Yeah, how come we
Speaker 1: have a you know, how to stop roaches yet? Huh.
Speaker 1: That's a great question. But it definitely is a legitimate
Speaker 1: question to be asking because it seems like with all
Speaker 1: of the the technological advances that have happened in the world,
Speaker 1: a lot of these infestations should have been ended a
Speaker 1: long time ago. Yeah, I let off a MP in
Speaker 1: my apartment. Hell yeah, whatever, Come on, yo, get these
Speaker 1: ships about it, Like what the funk? Yeah, let's let's
Speaker 1: electricute these roaches like sonically or whatever it is that
Speaker 1: I don't know. Guyle, Guyle comes to your it's a
Speaker 1: sonic boom. You have to hold back for two seconds
Speaker 1: and then forward punch. Yeah, guy comes to your crib.
Speaker 1: He does that sonic boom and then you know, no
Speaker 1: more roaches. Yeah. Second conspiracy theory, Guyle from Street Fighter
Speaker 1: is Puerto Rican. Oh wait a minute, hold on, wait
Speaker 1: a goddamn minute. What come on? Why does his hair
Speaker 1: stick up? How does his hair stay up like that?
Speaker 1: He might be Dominican. He is not a white guy.
Speaker 1: That's not a regular white dude. That flag is red, white,
Speaker 1: and blue in a different format to start the stars
Speaker 1: and bars is not in the right place. God damn. Hey,
Speaker 1: if that's I'll say this, If that's true, that's how
Speaker 1: they get you. That's how they get you, because this
Speaker 1: is He has long been positioned as sort of an
Speaker 1: American hero, a traditional American hero, a white guy, blonde hair,
Speaker 1: blue eyes. He's fighting for for your rights, citizen, like
Speaker 1: they used to you click on that American flag for
Speaker 1: the location, and it it just felt like a goddamn
Speaker 1: American time. And it turns out he's just a brave
Speaker 1: Puerto Rican fighting for our rights more than for our rights,
Speaker 1: because you don't got ship better to do. Dog now
Speaker 1: because he fucking because they fired him from the fucking
Speaker 1: saying gruders or whatever. You know, I'm saying some grocery
Speaker 1: stories as system man, and now you just just just
Speaker 1: just trying to make the ends meet. I will say,
Speaker 1: if if he's Dominican, that does explain why he was
Speaker 1: always wearing that fifty cent tank top back and uh,
Speaker 1: and that's what I'm saying, bro, Come on, man, you
Speaker 1: don't know no white dudes who dressed like that period
Speaker 1: the movie tank top and some big old some big
Speaker 1: old cargoes son in the boots. Come on, sign white
Speaker 1: dudes don't know how they You know, he was cuffing
Speaker 1: his jeans, his cargo. You know what I'm saying, camouflage
Speaker 1: pants in his jeans in dogs. Yeah, no, he put
Speaker 1: them inside. And that is a very either look either
Speaker 1: he is Dominican and or Puerto Rican, or or he's
Speaker 1: just from New York and grew up in one of
Speaker 1: those neighborhoods where like this just became the swag. But
Speaker 1: either way, they're not telling that side of his story. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they didn't mention. They didn't mention he won two handball tournaments.
Speaker 1: And either way, his bodega man is calling him poppy.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't matter if it's legitimate poppy or an
Speaker 1: earned poppy. He is poppy. He is poppy, and that
Speaker 1: is that is something that they leave out of the
Speaker 1: instructions when you open them. You look at the manual
Speaker 1: at a game. Yeah, and then when they made the
Speaker 1: fucking movie they made, uh, Jean Claude van Dame, that
Speaker 1: Nick is from Brussels. He's from Brussels and not a
Speaker 1: martial artist. Did you know that? Completely uh faking martial arts.
Speaker 1: He he was a dancer. Jean Claude van Dam was
Speaker 1: a dancer who basically learned how to do high kicks
Speaker 1: and then uh tricked a bunch of people into believing
Speaker 1: he was a martial artist. And then later I think
Speaker 1: he kind of like sort of like backwards studied the ship. Well,
Speaker 1: I respect the jug in any capacity. I'm I'm currently
Speaker 1: trying to trick people into thinking I'm a w n
Speaker 1: B a analyst. So God bless you, John. You know
Speaker 1: I've learned from the greats analysts. Hey, man, I watched
Speaker 1: some games and I have opinions. Here we go, Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: I watched. I've watched more than six games in one season.
Speaker 1: You're saying, I know who of the coaches in the
Speaker 1: league's you know the whole name. Yeah, now you gonna
Speaker 1: have me listen. As far as I'm getting learned, that's
Speaker 1: an analyst. You've pretty much earned the title in my book.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that works for ESPN, but it
Speaker 1: definitely works for my Mama told me the body. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm never moving to Connecticut, but funk yeah, funk with me. Dog,
Speaker 1: the shock is asleep. Yeah, in the back of these
Speaker 1: fucking TNT buildings in between inside the NBA breaks naps. Dog,
Speaker 1: I'm fully awake for these w NBA games. Come on
Speaker 1: that fucking bought CBS, Sports, Sports Net or whatever. I'm
Speaker 1: not even using my passwords no more. Totally get off
Speaker 1: my passwords. Yeah, they should let you be an analyst
Speaker 1: just for that you spend money on on their products. Also,
Speaker 1: the price of w NBA League past absurdly cheap. It's
Speaker 1: like thirteen bucks for the year. Oh wow, that's hard.
Speaker 1: It's bucks for the year. That's and that's disheartening as fun.
Speaker 1: You want to believe that they would at least charge
Speaker 1: you know, a respectable number for for their league pass.
Speaker 1: But no, thirteen dollars sounds like they don't give a
Speaker 1: third team thirteen It gets you the whole league. And
Speaker 1: it's also the only way you can watch the Indiana Fever.
Speaker 1: The Indiana Fever only exists online. It's like a virtual brand.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know what I'm saying. Let me ask
Speaker 1: you this, Are you hugely invested in the Indiana Fever?
Speaker 1: I mean not yet. I'm trying to speak with the
Speaker 1: owners group. Uh. They they haven't returned any of my
Speaker 1: calls or emails. More text like text in a landline
Speaker 1: and that just keeps getting thrown back to my phone
Speaker 1: to figure out the right number. I'm yeah, you're gonna
Speaker 1: be an Indiana Fever. Man. I got a fever right now, Okay,
Speaker 1: I want to get back to this life. I can't
Speaker 1: say that I got a fever right now. I want
Speaker 1: to get back to this life because I am curious
Speaker 1: if you you feel like there's any correlation. And I
Speaker 1: know we've been talking a little bit about the COVID
Speaker 1: of it all, but there's any correlation to the way
Speaker 1: that black people treated COVID in the beginning, much in
Speaker 1: the way that we're talking about life now, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Like, there was those that first like
Speaker 1: three months of COVID where he had not quite made
Speaker 1: it to the United States, or even when it had,
Speaker 1: it was mostly in like white nursing homes and like Washington,
Speaker 1: and so we started to spread that theory that black
Speaker 1: people couldn't get it. And I wonder if you see
Speaker 1: any correlation there, I'm gonna say yes, because I definitely
Speaker 1: was like feeling pretty black right now, I'm feeling good.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying, I was just like I was just
Speaker 1: taking my own internal stock. I'm like, all right, as
Speaker 1: long as I listen to optimistic, as long as I
Speaker 1: watched the learning montage and House Party two once or
Speaker 1: twice a week, I should be straight. Yeah. I I
Speaker 1: do remember like that first month and a half walking
Speaker 1: down the street and be like, hey, brother, say Jack,
Speaker 1: feeling good today? Alright? Man? You know you know me, man,
Speaker 1: you know I'm just staying up, staying staying it's just
Speaker 1: as live as possible, play Boy. We there was just
Speaker 1: like a warmth in the air around Black people were like, Hey,
Speaker 1: you know, we're good though they whatever they're about to
Speaker 1: go through, we're straight. Yeah. And that's and that is
Speaker 1: because of the blue ship that they put the combs
Speaker 1: and clippers in at the barbershop. That blue ship just
Speaker 1: merely being in our present was enough to to give
Speaker 1: us the confidence you're saying, to presume that life was
Speaker 1: not and or COVID. What I'm saying that is that's
Speaker 1: the barber salt, the barber side ship. That's a COVID thing.
Speaker 1: And you see and then you see how things switched
Speaker 1: once they finally started closing the salons and barbershopsberside. Wait,
Speaker 1: goddamn many now you're gonna have to barticke. This is
Speaker 1: You're on something hot right now. I feel like this
Speaker 1: is a talk that talk kind of vibe. You just
Speaker 1: hid something I've never heard before, and I'm excited to
Speaker 1: hear it play out. I'm gonna give you thirty seconds.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play some music underneath you. Jamal talk that talk.
Speaker 1: Come on, man, you've been in the barbershop, you've been
Speaker 1: in the hair salon that blue tub of ship in
Speaker 1: the warner that they put autumn cones and all the
Speaker 1: ship and they take the guards off, the clippers. They
Speaker 1: all put it in there, and guess what. Everybody leaves
Speaker 1: and their ship is clean. Dirty niggas come in and
Speaker 1: get fucking faiths every other day at the barber shop,
Speaker 1: and niggas be leaving clean. Dog that barber ship. It's
Speaker 1: like good, nigga. It's like a bluetoo. It's like a router.
Speaker 1: It's connected to us and our mental in our our
Speaker 1: our physical and our spirits. You feel me, so once
Speaker 1: we're around it, the ship be having a straight bro
Speaker 1: It's like when you and fucking uh. It's like it's
Speaker 1: like when you hit home base. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's like you can hit the refresh button. Once you
Speaker 1: get it, you're with it. When they took it from us,
Speaker 1: you see how things trying. God damn God, ship, that's cool,
Speaker 1: motherfucking bocks Nick, you don't know nothing about that. God Damn.
Speaker 1: I had never drop a bomb, flex, I had never
Speaker 1: considered even for a second the possibility that them taking
Speaker 1: our barbershops away from us, and the the blue serums
Speaker 1: that live in those barbershops, potentially being the cause of
Speaker 1: this increased outbreak that followed. It releases a slow invincibility
Speaker 1: essence to anyone. If you step in the building, you're good.
Speaker 1: It's like those uh for breeze plug ins. It's sort
Speaker 1: of like exactly, it lives in the air for for
Speaker 1: everybody nearby. And you're saying, if you take away these
Speaker 1: plug ins, these these not plugged in plug ins, suddenly
Speaker 1: a bunch of us are susceptible in a way that
Speaker 1: we weren't previously. Come on, man, you never seen nobody
Speaker 1: refill it. H You've never seen it move. You've actually
Speaker 1: never seen anybody put anything in it. Now, I've never
Speaker 1: seen anyone refill it. And I've also never seen any
Speaker 1: of that liquid get any lower, do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, presumably stuff evaporates eventually, there's gotta be
Speaker 1: a water component to it, which means the water will
Speaker 1: eventually like sort of like dry off and you know,
Speaker 1: become a part of the egg. Yeah, that ship is
Speaker 1: from the river sticks niked of this earth dog. That's
Speaker 1: why only authorized places get it. WHOA, and this this
Speaker 1: protects us from COVID This protects us from life. This
Speaker 1: essentially is like a life water, if you will, that
Speaker 1: we have access to, and that the government is intentionally
Speaker 1: trying to keep us away from because they don't even
Speaker 1: know where we got it from, so all they can
Speaker 1: do is close the barbershop. It protects us from all that,
Speaker 1: but it protects us from buying time shares, all that bullshit,
Speaker 1: just like a mental lubrication as well as a physical uh,
Speaker 1: sort of like saran rat protector exactly exactly, Damn the semmit.
Speaker 1: It seems all the way down. Godly, this is heavy ship.
Speaker 1: I just my own head up with that one. What's
Speaker 1: wild is I don't even know what the blue stuff is.
Speaker 1: It's not like you go to a store and you
Speaker 1: walk down the aisle, even the ethnic care care section.
Speaker 1: It's not like you go, oh, blue stuff. Oh, that's
Speaker 1: the blue stuff for the barbershat. It's not in any
Speaker 1: Sally's beauty supply anywhere. It's not in China. No, it's
Speaker 1: not Broa. This is heavy ship. I we have a
Speaker 1: lot to think about. We Jamal's dropping bombs out of
Speaker 1: nowhere about Barberside that none of us had considered. We're
Speaker 1: gonna take a break. We're gonna be back with more
Speaker 1: Jamal Johnson and more. My mama told me, and we
Speaker 1: all are back. Why are you good? Who says I'm gay? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're back here with more Jamal Johnson more. My mama
Speaker 1: told me. We're still talking about life and the possibility
Speaker 1: that black people can't get it because of our hair products,
Speaker 1: and the possibility that black people can't get it because
Speaker 1: of the barber side that lives in our barbershops and
Speaker 1: protects us always despite us not even knowing it. Here's
Speaker 1: what I want to do. I want to jump into
Speaker 1: some of the research that we have there. I did
Speaker 1: a little bit of research on the subject of hair lice.
Speaker 1: You got. I did go to lis aunties dot com.
Speaker 1: I was a little thrown by the name. If I'm
Speaker 1: being completely honest it it was troubling to think that
Speaker 1: there are aunties out there focused entirely on lice. I
Speaker 1: know they should probably there's other things, Yeah, aunties like
Speaker 1: maybe be fun aunts who don't come with bad news
Speaker 1: every fucking time I talk to you. You know, somebody
Speaker 1: got down the block. Right, let's go poling what's doing well?
Speaker 1: If you're familiar with life, scientis and I have to
Speaker 1: imagine you've you've looked up a little bit of information
Speaker 1: for yourself. It turns out that black people can, in
Speaker 1: fact get headlights. This isn't some impossible thing for us,
Speaker 1: although they do say these lights aunties do tell us
Speaker 1: that it is a lot more difficult for black people
Speaker 1: to get headlights than it is for our white counterparts.
Speaker 1: It's hard. It's hard news to sort of take in.
Speaker 1: It's hard news to process. Are you are you still
Speaker 1: in disbelief or you like no, I I still want
Speaker 1: to hear more to know whether or not this is
Speaker 1: in fact true. I want to hear more, but I'd
Speaker 1: like to see the car facts. Obviously, show me, show
Speaker 1: me who, then give me that book, give me the
Speaker 1: whole breakdown of the whole thing. Okay, So here's what
Speaker 1: I'll tell you. There was a nineteen five study that
Speaker 1: shows that while about ten percent of Caucasian children got lice,
Speaker 1: only about point zero three percent of Black children ended
Speaker 1: up getting lice. So, yeah, man, and one of them
Speaker 1: kids was sucking Steve Martin and the jerk and I
Speaker 1: don't count sure, and that it does. It's an interesting
Speaker 1: it's such a low percentage that it almost feels like
Speaker 1: you're basically saying almost no one, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like your point zero three percent that few people are
Speaker 1: actually getting lice. Yeah, you might as well just be
Speaker 1: like zero motherfucker's it's just one weird kid who kind
Speaker 1: of has different hair or didn't put on any hair
Speaker 1: grease for the entirety of his life. Yeah, the one
Speaker 1: kid who came out with a blond wig. Like Lord
Speaker 1: kim m hm hm, come on, shign that only happened once. Sure,
Speaker 1: that's like that. That's like when you see the cheeto
Speaker 1: that look like Jesus. Man, it only happens once. Man,
Speaker 1: it's a real it's a freak situation. This isn't a
Speaker 1: real there's no real Jesus. Gee. Though, I'm imagining one
Speaker 1: black kid in a classroom of thirty and he's the
Speaker 1: only black kid, and it's thirty is twenty nine white
Speaker 1: kids and eighteen these little fuckers got it and they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: you want to play kickball with us? And he's like, no,
Speaker 1: get the funk away from me, and then just got
Speaker 1: it just off proximity you are. I think I think
Speaker 1: there is a really interesting factor here too of thinking
Speaker 1: about the types of kids that probably end up getting lice.
Speaker 1: And I don't know how growing up, at least for me,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a little more of a suburban kid. And
Speaker 1: there were those kids who didn't like being black, Like
Speaker 1: they worked really hard to like impress the white kids
Speaker 1: and be a part of the white groups and truly
Speaker 1: did everything they could to not like intermixed with their
Speaker 1: black peers. It's like, yeah, that's probably the motherfucker that
Speaker 1: guy lice that makes Yeah, come on, dude, you want
Speaker 1: to be the sc A president. Yeah, you deserve life.
Speaker 1: You're come on, man, you've been a little you men.
Speaker 1: You know what you're doing? Yeah? Man, what are you
Speaker 1: getting taco lunchables? You know what you're doing. You a
Speaker 1: Civics class writing about affirmative action. Yeah, yo, and not
Speaker 1: in a good way, not enough of affirmative action. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You came to the you came to the Halloween so
Speaker 1: cop dressed like Clarence Thomas. Hey wait right, Clarence. And
Speaker 1: that's a great example. Clarence Thomas is probably the type
Speaker 1: of motherfucker that represents that point zero three percent man.
Speaker 1: Finding out about Clarence Thomas was definitely a wild one
Speaker 1: in in what sense, just like just that he sucked
Speaker 1: saying and he was down for the fall and all
Speaker 1: that like that, because all I knew when I was little,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, ship, we got a black judge.
Speaker 1: Oh I was you know what I'm saying, I didn't
Speaker 1: know that was your first learning of Clarence Thomas was
Speaker 1: him as a judge. Well, I guess, I guess just
Speaker 1: seeing him when he got confirmed Supreme Court. Wow, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, I'm like, my first and maybe
Speaker 1: this is just the very telling story about who my
Speaker 1: family was. My first knowledge of Clarence Thomas came from
Speaker 1: him putting that pubic hair on the coke can. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what the that? Yeah, my boy's freaky man, he's into
Speaker 1: some wild ship and that's, you know, O strange and
Speaker 1: like I didn't know. I didn't know what then, none
Speaker 1: of it was. I'm just like, oh, we got one
Speaker 1: black dude in the road. That's lit. And then I
Speaker 1: happened to me to his kid played against my little brother.
Speaker 1: My little brother used to play hey are you Back
Speaker 1: in the day, my dad was coaching shout out to
Speaker 1: the Metro Thunder. I don't know if they exist anymore,
Speaker 1: but we're at the it's Metro Thunder. They're playing the
Speaker 1: Fairfax Stars. Clarence Thomas's kid is in the game, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh ships that that's homes from the Road
Speaker 1: And I was just like, bro, and then you know,
Speaker 1: I like I tapped him up. He's also buffer ship
Speaker 1: his son. This time, Clarence Thomas is under that road.
Speaker 1: Oh that road. Just nick his buff bro fucking way
Speaker 1: his Clarence Thomas buff under that road. Well probably not now,
Speaker 1: but this was because this was like a smooth fifteen
Speaker 1: years ago, but yeah at the time, yeah, holy sh it,
Speaker 1: buff bag. Well this is new for me. I had
Speaker 1: no idea that Clarence Thomas was in there doing you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, you don't think that. I
Speaker 1: guess I never associate any judge would be in sexy flexi,
Speaker 1: but definitely not the most cooney judge of all time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, especially but you know, hey, I guess he
Speaker 1: you know, that's this insurance plan for you know, when
Speaker 1: the coonery backfires. Yeah, he's like, hey, call me, going
Speaker 1: to my face, I'll beat your ass. Y'all think it's
Speaker 1: talking real hot on the internet, but I'll fuck you up.
Speaker 1: Clarence simas ripping off his robe and having abs and
Speaker 1: fucking like biceps under there. Man, he sunk my head up.
Speaker 1: I come to school. I tell the fucking you know,
Speaker 1: the history teacher, government teacher. I'm like, you're not seeing
Speaker 1: what's his face? Clarence sims, just like you mean, it's sucking.
Speaker 1: The most whackis nigger on the planet. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? And he's like, yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: check this out. And I was like, oh, ship pupe
Speaker 1: and the coke can uh anti infirmative action? Well he
Speaker 1: said what yeah, And I was just like, damn, Clarence,
Speaker 1: my boy don't even like having brown poops. He hates
Speaker 1: in every shaping form. It's not great. Let's ears, Let's
Speaker 1: learn a little bit more about these lights though, because
Speaker 1: I was curious specifically about your question, your element uh
Speaker 1: that you added to this about the hair grease, because,
Speaker 1: as I mentioned before, my biggest question, or at least
Speaker 1: my my belief as it started, was that black people
Speaker 1: just couldn't get light, that that just wasn't possible for us.
Speaker 1: And as it turns out, the lights because of the
Speaker 1: shape and texture of black people's hair on average, obviously
Speaker 1: black hair is very different and and spans you know,
Speaker 1: all kinds of diaspora. Right there, there's a ship ton
Speaker 1: of different kinds of black hair. But black people's hair
Speaker 1: and texture in general tends to make it harder for
Speaker 1: the licensed grasping hooks to make their way around the
Speaker 1: hair shaft. And because lice basically crawl up and down
Speaker 1: the shaft as their mode of transportation and then stick
Speaker 1: their eggs they literally like glue their eggs to the
Speaker 1: side of the hair follicles, they have more trouble holding
Speaker 1: onto our ship and thus aren't able to lay their eggs,
Speaker 1: make their families and procreate in our fucking scalps. Hell yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about Man, it's pretty tight. It's an encouraging thing. Now. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: I'm mixed with the white devil, and so I presume
Speaker 1: that based on this information, I am at least slightly,
Speaker 1: if not substantially, more susceptible to the possibility of lights.
Speaker 1: Then maybe you are on the other side of this.
Speaker 1: You should lay down crazy when it grow. Do you
Speaker 1: look like Matt Barnes. I do have curly ass hair,
Speaker 1: but it's it's less like Matt Barnes and more like
Speaker 1: Corbin Blue. Do you know what I mean? Like it
Speaker 1: gets into yeah, yeah, no, it's like what was his name?
Speaker 1: The motherfucker from from American Idol that Kelly and uh
Speaker 1: from Justin Guarine, Justin Guarini. I get some Justin Guarini
Speaker 1: going it's it's a little thicker than that, but you
Speaker 1: know it's just it's a it's a curl thing more
Speaker 1: than it is, like a tight coil, if that be.
Speaker 1: I will say that. And I just found this out
Speaker 1: Justin Guarini. He's currently working right now. A little sweet
Speaker 1: dr pepper pepper motherfucker. That's Justin Guarini this whole game.
Speaker 1: What congratulations to you, Justin. That's a great bag because
Speaker 1: they brought him back like three times. Yeah, he's taking Yeah,
Speaker 1: they were like, Prince won't do it. Fine, we'll dress
Speaker 1: up American Idols number two Justin Guaria, no problem. We'll
Speaker 1: take one of Pinky's old wigs, throw a headband on that.
Speaker 1: So he's doing fine. I think I think he's doing
Speaker 1: He's doing better than I thought he would be. He's
Speaker 1: doing better than Ruben Studdard and Clay A man feel
Speaker 1: bad for because Ruben one one dude, he got me
Speaker 1: you Gotta clean one. Yeah, he won one, but then
Speaker 1: he had to make music afterwards, and that wasn't really
Speaker 1: his thing. As it turns out, it's true follow U,
Speaker 1: but sorry for two thousand four pretty good song. I
Speaker 1: personally it was a rough school year for me. A
Speaker 1: few fat niggas in school. I was sorry for two
Speaker 1: thou a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, So that that's
Speaker 1: all get home in a way that you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: rooting for you. Yeah, I'm saying I was working with it,
Speaker 1: but it was like, damn you, damn. Here's some more
Speaker 1: information that I think is somewhat helpful for some of
Speaker 1: these conversations we're having. As it turns out, and this
Speaker 1: is contrary to your theory, this same study that I'm
Speaker 1: talking about does say that cultural use of oils and
Speaker 1: and greases and whatever else we put in our hair
Speaker 1: does not actually stop the lights from spreading. It's not
Speaker 1: like the lights are just slipping off of our greasy
Speaker 1: ass heads. And it's part of the reason we use
Speaker 1: oils and we use grease and our hair. And this
Speaker 1: is more of me speaking to some of our white listeners,
Speaker 1: is because black hair, because of its tight coiling tends
Speaker 1: to not hold the oil the same way that white
Speaker 1: people's hair does. Right, So like white people's hair gets
Speaker 1: matted down in oil, which is why you motherfucker's need
Speaker 1: to wash your hair way more often, Black people's hair
Speaker 1: doesn't hold it the same So you add oil basically
Speaker 1: because that oil tends to dry out faster in black hair.
Speaker 1: Because that makes I don't know why I'm saying it
Speaker 1: to you, as if you don't, I mean, but true.
Speaker 1: And when you and if you got like a new
Speaker 1: short set, m hm, you know what I'm saying it.
Speaker 1: Just like if you get a little gleam yep off
Speaker 1: the top, just like this ship, you feel like I
Speaker 1: feel like a new Lexus or something like I just
Speaker 1: came out there the body shop. Yeah. I remember watching
Speaker 1: that Uh I Need a Girl Part two video and
Speaker 1: Loon with like when he would dance around and he
Speaker 1: had that That was back when they were doing them
Speaker 1: perm ships and the weird like they were smoothing their
Speaker 1: hair down a lot. But man, when his hair would
Speaker 1: shine as he danced next to Ditty, I was like, God,
Speaker 1: damn you hear that's the one dog Nik has been
Speaker 1: doing the same ship today since the twenties, bro that
Speaker 1: twenty ship is crazy. The ship like the silk head
Speaker 1: wrap area a fucking conk, dude. Yeah, do you remember
Speaker 1: the Waynes Brothers that like they had that like shifty character.
Speaker 1: He had a kunk for like he had a conk
Speaker 1: for like four seasons. Yeah. Now now he's on the
Speaker 1: Disney Channel. Yo, he was. He was on Zack and
Speaker 1: Cody after he did the Waynes Brothers. It's truly turn Okay,
Speaker 1: I want to I want to bring up a few
Speaker 1: more elements to this conversation that I think are going
Speaker 1: to be useful to us. The c d C actually
Speaker 1: did a breakdown because one of the things that I
Speaker 1: wanted to know is, like, why is it that even
Speaker 1: if white people can get lights, white sort of spreads
Speaker 1: so often in their community. And the CDC did a
Speaker 1: breakdown of uncommon transferences of the dirty is ship. While
Speaker 1: that's listen, that's not completely off base. One of the
Speaker 1: things that they said was that lice can be transferred
Speaker 1: through wearing clothing of someone who's been infested, hats, scarves, cloats,
Speaker 1: sports uniforms, hair ribbons. It also can come from using
Speaker 1: infested combs, brushes, or towels and lying on bed couch,
Speaker 1: pillow carpet, or using I guess sharing stuffed animals of
Speaker 1: people who are recently infested. And one of the things
Speaker 1: that really stood out to me in this is the
Speaker 1: sharing of combs and brushes, which is something and even
Speaker 1: hit hats and scarves is not something that I think
Speaker 1: is super common for black people. Yeah, not really, kind
Speaker 1: of always had my own. I've never been like, yo,
Speaker 1: let me see your brush. Yeah. It I remember as
Speaker 1: a young person feeling very I have mine, you have
Speaker 1: yours kind of vibes, and I feel like that was
Speaker 1: something my mom had taught me right from the beginning,
Speaker 1: that like, yo, you don't go sharing everybody's like comb
Speaker 1: and brush or whatever it is. You need to get
Speaker 1: your hair to lay down. Yeah, hell no, dude, No
Speaker 1: you can't see my pick. Yeah, it's a weird thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, it's no, I'm gonna keep this in my
Speaker 1: head and then you can keep yours in your head
Speaker 1: and then we all have separate heads. Yeah, super personal, dudes.
Speaker 1: For sucking head man, it's like a toothbrush, huh yeah,
Speaker 1: and a lot of what yeah, you and you could
Speaker 1: see it. You somebody takes their pick out and it
Speaker 1: does it has like little bedbs on it, and and yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't if I see your yeah, don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it's a very I think, a white thing to
Speaker 1: share a comb and even I remember as a young
Speaker 1: person going to like stores, department stores and ship and
Speaker 1: you not wanting to try on the hats because that
Speaker 1: felt like some sort of invasion of like privacy with
Speaker 1: another person or sort of a breaking of a social
Speaker 1: norm or rule. Whereas you know, if you watch fucking Clueless,
Speaker 1: they put on every hat that, uh, that they could
Speaker 1: find and just pass them to each other. Do I
Speaker 1: look cute? Yeah? I look cute. You look cute too,
Speaker 1: work cute? Just a very different, I think, cultural norm.
Speaker 1: And so subsequently, it at least implies the possibility that
Speaker 1: in sharing these hats and combs and scarves, I guess
Speaker 1: you can find yourself suddenly sharing the bugs that infests them.
Speaker 1: Motherfuckers sharing broccoli, cheese, soup and the bread bowl. Huh. Nasty,
Speaker 1: You're nasty. You're nasty, And that's really what Jamal wants
Speaker 1: you to walk away hearing today's you motherfucker's are nasty
Speaker 1: and that's the reason you got likes. Yeah, low key nasty, dude.
Speaker 1: We are in our d n a not nasty m
Speaker 1: hum generations from the jump, Yeah, from the foundation, never
Speaker 1: been nasty. Yeah. I do think to some extent that,
Speaker 1: and I theorized about this a few times before. I
Speaker 1: do think that there are just very different standards for
Speaker 1: the way that black and white people approach cleanliness. I
Speaker 1: think white people spend a lot of time thinking about
Speaker 1: cleanliness of the larger environment, right like the earth. That's
Speaker 1: where all these no littering campaigns come from. And sort
Speaker 1: of like this idea of like mowing your lawns and
Speaker 1: sort of creating these pristine public spaces is very much
Speaker 1: I think a white standard of living, whereas I think
Speaker 1: Black people put a little more priority in the cleanliness
Speaker 1: of their home in person. So it's like, yeah, it's like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm I don't give a funk if I litter out
Speaker 1: in the world, which is not a good thing. That's
Speaker 1: not something I'm saying is right, but it is like,
Speaker 1: but I'm never gonna do that in my own fucking
Speaker 1: dwelling place where I sleep and ship. Yeah, and we
Speaker 1: know niggas could be dirty I've seen an Instagram comedy sketch.
Speaker 1: I know what it's like when you go to the
Speaker 1: girl's crib in places dirty, You know what that feel
Speaker 1: like they have then they put the roaches on us.
Speaker 1: There's mad because we can't get life and important roaches
Speaker 1: in our crib, and so there's a lot of that ship.
Speaker 1: You can't even know what I'm saying. And that's the
Speaker 1: hard part, right, is that, like with all infestations, it
Speaker 1: only takes one nasty motherfucker to turn it's into everybody's problem.
Speaker 1: Whereas I think that if you create cultural norms that
Speaker 1: allow this thing to happen, you can find yourself where
Speaker 1: ten percent of your population is sort of like dealing
Speaker 1: with this infestation because you just you know, you're all
Speaker 1: sharing combs and fucking scarves. I never once left our
Speaker 1: friend wear my due rag, not once in my life.
Speaker 1: Never came up, Never will nobody ever. Yeah, it just
Speaker 1: doesn't come up. Dude, Hey nice dewey. I need a
Speaker 1: new one. I'll go get one on my own. What
Speaker 1: is that one of the bows? Okay, all right, I'm yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: next time I go see and then I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: get me a free pack of those not yours, not yours,
Speaker 1: that's not for me. One of the things that I
Speaker 1: wanted to make sure that I at least looked into.
Speaker 1: And now I'll present this to you and then we'll
Speaker 1: take one more break. One of the things I was
Speaker 1: a little worried about was, does this then imply this
Speaker 1: whole black people not being able to get lights that
Speaker 1: we also can't get craps? Are black people somehow immune
Speaker 1: to pubic lights? And as it turns out, those are
Speaker 1: not the same at all. I think got the hooks
Speaker 1: in a different place. They got a real different internet
Speaker 1: with their hoods. The motherfucker's know how to climb in
Speaker 1: any environment, you know what I mean. They're not worried
Speaker 1: at all about the texture of your hair. Yeah, they
Speaker 1: popped the trunk on us. Immediately, it's like, oh, y'all, okay,
Speaker 1: you're doing that? Oh all right, yeah, yeah, I got
Speaker 1: just I got what's up? Yep, Black people, you're not immune.
Speaker 1: You you are pretty invincible to regular lives, but boy,
Speaker 1: oh boy, are you not immune to pubic lives. Crabs
Speaker 1: is a real problem that you can suffer from. Listen, man,
Speaker 1: there's some things barbarcide just can't deal with ye. And
Speaker 1: in fact, I have to presume that the chemical melding
Speaker 1: of barbarcide and and fuck nigga conversation actually makes crabs
Speaker 1: a lot more available and worse for Once you say
Speaker 1: you don't need pussy, yep, it's like an eight percent
Speaker 1: chance your chances raised daily. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of problematic opinions that come from motherfucker's with crabs and
Speaker 1: the barbershops. So you know, that makes a ton of sense.
Speaker 1: Whoever the first dude to say they're excited for Cosby
Speaker 1: to go back on tour, Yeah, and then you got crabs,
Speaker 1: And that really should be how we treat those people,
Speaker 1: is we just we start just pointing out, now we
Speaker 1: stopped spending all this time trying to correct their behavior
Speaker 1: and tell them like, shame on you, you shouldn't feel
Speaker 1: that way. It's just like, oh, yeah, yeah, you got crabs.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, Yeah we have you down with crabs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have you marked. Okay, you're good over there. Yeah no,
Speaker 1: I'm I don't need anything from the store. Man, Hey,
Speaker 1: pick yourself up some crabs medication. How about that? Do
Speaker 1: that get some way of grease for your pubes? Please?
Speaker 1: All right, we're gonna take one more break. We'll be
Speaker 1: back with more Jamal Johnson and more. My mama told me,
Speaker 1: and we are back. That's the song I want to.
Speaker 1: That's yeahn that we're that. For a second I thought
Speaker 1: it was something else, but it ain't. I thought for
Speaker 1: sure I had a drop that was set up in
Speaker 1: a different way, but it was just the actual fucking
Speaker 1: song that uh, that was coming for us. Hey, sometimes,
Speaker 1: you know, with all these drops, I try to play
Speaker 1: something that's gonna be like a surprising turn on some
Speaker 1: of these things. But sometimes it's just the fucking It's
Speaker 1: exactly what you want you asked for. What what is
Speaker 1: it that you know? Every rap song with real sirens
Speaker 1: in it scares me. I'm smoking weed in my car. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then Fireman starts, Oh boy, I'm like, oh these
Speaker 1: things behind me, No they're not. It's just a little
Speaker 1: waynetagonizing poor people again with this. Yeah, the sirens, niggas
Speaker 1: all like to ride around in Crown Vix looks just
Speaker 1: like a cop car. I don't even like when Bobby
Speaker 1: Valentino used to go we we we we, because Nope,
Speaker 1: it sounds like the police to me. You got me Bobby, Yo,
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, I remember Bobby came to Norfolk State home
Speaker 1: coming wheen year, my friend with the Norfolk State we
Speaker 1: were just like, god, this is the tiniest thing in
Speaker 1: hell yeah, let's Nike a little bit little ship. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. I love Bobby Valentino mostly in in that
Speaker 1: exact way that just it's just a cutie pie trying
Speaker 1: his best, do you know what I mean? Come on, man,
Speaker 1: a little guy in a full denim suit just just
Speaker 1: wanting to be a part of something real bad with
Speaker 1: the wet dry curl. The curl very popular in an
Speaker 1: arrow before Bobby Valentino came around, and then some the
Speaker 1: s curl box the man off the box. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: he was the size of the man on the box. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just scale. Okay, we're gonna play a game. This is
Speaker 1: a brand new game, a game that I created just
Speaker 1: for you. It's a brand new game called keeping your
Speaker 1: third Eye on the Ball. You're trying to say, Jesus Christ,
Speaker 1: can't hit a curveball, keep your third eye on the ball.
Speaker 1: And this this is a fun game where I am
Speaker 1: going to ready. Okay, yeah, I see you. You're looking.
Speaker 1: You're looking very baseballed out. I don't know if that's
Speaker 1: the thing that people say it probably is. It might be,
Speaker 1: it might be we're gonna start a ear. But what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do is introduced to you a number of
Speaker 1: professional athletes, famous athletes who have come out in some way,
Speaker 1: shape or form as conspirator see theorists, and what I
Speaker 1: would love for you to do, it's just unpack where
Speaker 1: you think these conspiracies come from, how much you believe them,
Speaker 1: if you think that this is grounded in some kind
Speaker 1: of logical sense, or if they're just talking fucking crazy.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Sounds good? I think I got
Speaker 1: it cool. So let's start easy. This is a fun one,
Speaker 1: a nice easy one to maybe the most famous conspiracy
Speaker 1: theory that came out of an athlete. Kyrie Irving famously
Speaker 1: came out as a flat earther a few years back.
Speaker 1: What do you think about Kyrie Irving and his flat
Speaker 1: earth theory? I mean, just because you're good at dribbling
Speaker 1: doesn't mean everywhere is flat. And the more I knew,
Speaker 1: like I knew he was sucking around, because that's just
Speaker 1: the the this the next generation of NBA guys is
Speaker 1: all about, like what he is normal, what is the
Speaker 1: truth for real? But what if I what if it was? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I will say that that I had a very in
Speaker 1: a very weird way. I actually was front row to
Speaker 1: his announcement of flat Earth that like, I ended up
Speaker 1: being at the All Star Game that year that he
Speaker 1: did that. Yeah, I was like doing some you know,
Speaker 1: shoot whatever. And they asked Kyrie. I guess he had
Speaker 1: already made the statement, but they asked Kyrie in person like, yo,
Speaker 1: do you really think the Earth was flat? And he
Speaker 1: was like yeah, and but like in a very like
Speaker 1: I'm fucking with you. Then they asked Lebron James, who
Speaker 1: was literally at the podium next them, because that's how
Speaker 1: they set up all the All Star ship. It's just
Speaker 1: people like sitting next to each other with separate reporters,
Speaker 1: and they go, Lebron, did you hear that Kyrie thought
Speaker 1: thinks the Earth is flat? And then Lebron turned storm
Speaker 1: and he goes, yo, read do you think the Earth
Speaker 1: is flat? And he was like yeah, but like they're
Speaker 1: both giggling and they're having a good time. It was
Speaker 1: a fun All Star weekend, and then you can tell
Speaker 1: the motherfucker doesn't actually think it's flat. As much as
Speaker 1: he's just like playing the game. Yeah, I wanted to
Speaker 1: funk with the press, yeah, but but had no idea,
Speaker 1: like the strength of his words just Twitter is so insane.
Speaker 1: Now he's just like, you know, I'm gonna say something
Speaker 1: jokingly and the press is definitely gonna eat it up
Speaker 1: like it's a scoop and they're because they're crazy. But
Speaker 1: then it turned into like now' there's like a whole
Speaker 1: I think there's people who still think the Earth is flat. Now, yes,
Speaker 1: there's quite it's the whole community of people that think
Speaker 1: that the Earth is flat, and some of them are
Speaker 1: there because their favorite ball handler said it, like, if
Speaker 1: the Earth's flat, why does the sun move around? Bitch?
Speaker 1: I mean, I've heard many arguments for for what that is.
Speaker 1: I think the some people believe that they're the sun
Speaker 1: is moving around the flat surface much like ah, like
Speaker 1: essentially that we are sort of the opposite of that
Speaker 1: tray in the microwave. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: That it would be like the microwave is moving around
Speaker 1: us and we're the tray in the middle. What the fuck?
Speaker 1: Hey man, I didn't say I liked it. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying that's that's the argument I've heard. So did you
Speaker 1: just think the earth is thin? That's a good question.
Speaker 1: I don't know if they think it's thin crust their
Speaker 1: deep dish, but I do know that they think it's
Speaker 1: flat at the top, so I don't Yeah, I gotta
Speaker 1: look into that one. Crust earth style. Okay, let's dig
Speaker 1: into another one. This this one's way less fun than
Speaker 1: that first one. Kurt Schilling, we're talking baseball. He's a
Speaker 1: baseball guy. I believe Kurt Schilling actually, uh came out
Speaker 1: and called some of those Parkling kids crisis actors. He
Speaker 1: believed that some of the people who were a part
Speaker 1: of one of the most terrifying school shootings in American
Speaker 1: history were faking it. What do you think about old
Speaker 1: Kurt Schilling and his his argument that they're crisis actors. Well,
Speaker 1: I just I just checked up on him. He's from Alaska,
Speaker 1: so you know, he's just a white guy who loves guns.
Speaker 1: He just thinks guns can't be wrong. My daddy like us,
Speaker 1: my brother like guns, my mama likes can't do nothing wrong.
Speaker 1: They never heard nobody. Now these kids want to come
Speaker 1: around act like I done. Got ahold of him? Somehow, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: like the gun blocked the doorway and pulled this gun
Speaker 1: penis out and made me No. Guns don't do that. No, yeah,
Speaker 1: how could a gun shoot another gun? Guns don't have
Speaker 1: fingers like up she pull Guns don't have fingers. I
Speaker 1: love that. Okay, let's do another one. This is a
Speaker 1: this is a fun one. Rhonda Rousey did a podcast
Speaker 1: a few years ago where she argued that nine eleven
Speaker 1: was an inside job. She was asked if she believed
Speaker 1: it was an inside job, and Rhonda Rousey said yes,
Speaker 1: she emphatically believes that nine eleven was an inside job.
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on Randa Rousey's inside job theory? Well,
Speaker 1: I just want to know who she thinks was inside. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it was an inside job, but I just
Speaker 1: don't know who was in the motherfucking house at the
Speaker 1: time when it was inside. Okay, So you're with Randa
Speaker 1: on this one. You're like a little bit, I mean
Speaker 1: to say inside Like, you know, I think some niggas
Speaker 1: went rogue and did and did their thing with that.
Speaker 1: But you know, the setup is totally on us. Everybody
Speaker 1: know that we're fucking we're throwing these niggas guns and
Speaker 1: tanks and ship and just like, okay, bootleg any vhs
Speaker 1: you want, and don't and don't hit our line, don't
Speaker 1: hit me, don't hit me, don't make our contact with me.
Speaker 1: Just take all these, Take all these bootleg copies of
Speaker 1: Dunster checked in, flip those. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: We'll get I don't know if you've seen Wire season two,
Speaker 1: but it's gonna be about the docks, so you could
Speaker 1: keep moving, you could keep moving the boy. Everybody's gonna
Speaker 1: be round out. A lot of people don't love that season,
Speaker 1: but it's actually still a solid season. You should check
Speaker 1: it out. It's great. I do think there's a level
Speaker 1: of legitimacy to what you're saying, and that we did
Speaker 1: foster a lot of relationships with the people that ultimately
Speaker 1: did the thing right, Like this wasn't like out of nowhere,
Speaker 1: a bunch of weirdos attacked us. It's like, no, these
Speaker 1: are literally the people that you armed and build relationships with,
Speaker 1: and so in that way that probably has like an
Speaker 1: inside job quality to it. I think rhond is suggesting
Speaker 1: that it was really like planned by the US government,
Speaker 1: as like basically, uh, I don't know exactly why, but
Speaker 1: that the US government intentionally flew its own planes into
Speaker 1: our buildings. Well see, it's like I feel that, But
Speaker 1: we just love money too much. And the key to
Speaker 1: America and what America wants more than anything, is to
Speaker 1: just keep getting money unopposed, with no interruptions, no break
Speaker 1: unless it's a commercial break in the football game. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. We don't need no other Make
Speaker 1: sure the jets fly across the stadium. No, no, no flaws,
Speaker 1: no nothing, be in and out. Need the trains running
Speaker 1: on time because I got some paper coming on, I
Speaker 1: got some bitches coming and cannot be late. It can't
Speaker 1: be late. I need this money right now. I think
Speaker 1: in that way, I've always believed that I and I
Speaker 1: at least personally believe. I don't believe that we flew
Speaker 1: our own planes into those buildings, but I do believe
Speaker 1: that once those plane flew into those buildings, a bunch
Speaker 1: of money motherfucker's put their heads together and win. How
Speaker 1: can we turn this into a profit that did not.
Speaker 1: We gotta get this back this, We gotta get this
Speaker 1: back right now. The money guys get back on defense quick.
Speaker 1: Oh they slapped the floor when they get back, like, dude,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, they're putting up the Janice
Speaker 1: wall dog nothing through we getting get back, get back baby.
Speaker 1: And they knew, like, of course that's why they picked
Speaker 1: the World Trade Center, because we had these nickets over
Speaker 1: for fucking you know, Summer contillion. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's where the bread is. They're like, oh, you're the
Speaker 1: greatest representation of your wealth. That's going down. Baby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got you, We got you, We got you all
Speaker 1: peg right now, let's do Let's do two more. There
Speaker 1: are two more fun ones that I'd love to throw
Speaker 1: your way. Number one and this is this is a
Speaker 1: pretty fun one. Is Steph Curry actually, about two years
Speaker 1: ago got in trouble for saying that he believed the
Speaker 1: moon landing was fake. That he he was on a
Speaker 1: podcast with Vince Carter and Vince Carter I think it
Speaker 1: was Vince Carter and Friends. I don't remember who was
Speaker 1: on the podcast, but he's on a podcast with Vince
Speaker 1: Carter and basically admitted that he thinks that the moon
Speaker 1: landing was a complete fake and then later he had
Speaker 1: to apologize because he's Steph Curry, and holy Moley, don't
Speaker 1: love when Steph Curry behaves that way. Yeah, you can't.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. ABC Disney a playing like that. No,
Speaker 1: not at all. What do you think though about Steph
Speaker 1: Curry's suggestion that there is a faked moon landing? Is
Speaker 1: there any legitimacy to it? And why do you think
Speaker 1: Steph Curry is saying that? I'm kind of fucking with him,
Speaker 1: because one, we never put ship up there. America is
Speaker 1: about getting dollars and making that ship move. And if
Speaker 1: we could send thirteen fourteen sets the Niggas to the moon,
Speaker 1: why ain't it. It's not no McDonald's up there. There's
Speaker 1: no athletes put up there. There's no fucking wet pretzels
Speaker 1: up there. I got you, and I can remember because Fox,
Speaker 1: you know they're not. They don't got the Disney hooks.
Speaker 1: I remember Fox did a conspiracy theory that. Remember when
Speaker 1: Fox in the nineties was very about uncovering conspiracy. Here's
Speaker 1: the secret magician. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. They
Speaker 1: was on all that type of ship and it was like,
Speaker 1: here's why the moon landing's fake, because how the funk
Speaker 1: you even get out there? It's like nine layers of
Speaker 1: radiation niggas don't know shit about and blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: and you could end the lights and ship and I
Speaker 1: also and I and I like that we faked it.
Speaker 1: Let me say that because at the time, you remember
Speaker 1: who's the space race with Russia and ship. So it's
Speaker 1: this you're we're like, it's a shouting match with US
Speaker 1: in Russia and nobody knows what anybody's got, but everybody's
Speaker 1: ready to push the button. But we all know that
Speaker 1: like after World War Two, like Nikas really got shipped.
Speaker 1: Now that could really in the world. So it's like
Speaker 1: we like, damn, Russia really might jump back at us.
Speaker 1: What's the best way to get Russia to calm down
Speaker 1: beat him in the space race because they care, because
Speaker 1: they're really trying to get out there. Let's just go
Speaker 1: to Burbank and shoot one dog. And I will say that,
Speaker 1: And I'm cautious about the way that I say this,
Speaker 1: but in support of what you're saying, I I will
Speaker 1: say that there is a fair amount of evidence that
Speaker 1: the US was well behind Russia in terms of their
Speaker 1: preparations because they're really smart dogs. Yeah, the Russians were
Speaker 1: way ahead of us, and that's part of why Operation
Speaker 1: paper Clip even happened in the first place. Operation paper
Speaker 1: Clip being when we we basically took a bunch of
Speaker 1: Nazi scientists and allowed them to basically make their way
Speaker 1: into the US and become US citizens for the same
Speaker 1: using their developments in efforts or are our Cold War
Speaker 1: like sort of like defenses, and then ultimately the space race,
Speaker 1: so like, there is some evidence that even if those
Speaker 1: German scientists weren't able to save us, maybe a fake
Speaker 1: moon landing did. I'm telling you, JFK was looking around like, yo, yah, God,
Speaker 1: Nazi niggas in here. They already sent a dog up
Speaker 1: their dog. We fucked, man. We don't got ship except
Speaker 1: for forty Nazis. What the funk is wrong with you niggas? Dude?
Speaker 1: I hope he said it exactly like that. I hope
Speaker 1: that's verbatim If that's an exact quote from JFK yelling
Speaker 1: at his scientists, all we got is a bunch is
Speaker 1: forty Nazis. What the funk is wrong with you, niggas?
Speaker 1: Is an exact quote from JFK. This ship is dumb
Speaker 1: as hell. I'm calling that Sullivan. We're going to Burbank
Speaker 1: and we're just gonna film one because they don't even
Speaker 1: got TV. We figured out how to make our ships swaggy,
Speaker 1: and so that's how we we beat him on some
Speaker 1: bugs bunny ship. That's perfect. One last person for you
Speaker 1: to dig into Reggie Bush. Reggie Bush of USC fame
Speaker 1: and later uh a Heisman Trophy that they took back
Speaker 1: from him. Reggie Bush has recently come out as an
Speaker 1: anti vaxer. He's not into vaccines. He's not he's not
Speaker 1: gonna get vaccinated. What are your thoughts? Where do you
Speaker 1: think this is coming from for old Reggie Bush? Well,
Speaker 1: this is just coming from playing football. There's just something
Speaker 1: about the football the football player's mind, because it's about
Speaker 1: the sport. The coaches always tell you gotta give. You
Speaker 1: have to give all of your body, you have to
Speaker 1: give everything you have. And so if you want to
Speaker 1: be really good at football, you're thinking, like, man, like
Speaker 1: what if I get this VAXX? And like, now I
Speaker 1: can't run the out route? You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: Like these niggers really are really Like if I could
Speaker 1: to vas knock, can't fucking now, I can't break tackles
Speaker 1: no more what's gonna happen or this VACS might funk
Speaker 1: up my CT and I'll be reasonable in a way
Speaker 1: that I can't I can't be na. What do you
Speaker 1: mean I'm not gonna yell at my wife anymore? What
Speaker 1: do you mean I'm not gonna be able to take
Speaker 1: advantage of my brain damage to give another man brain damage?
Speaker 1: What absurd? What are you talking about? What do you mean?
Speaker 1: I was on two seasons and keeping up with the
Speaker 1: car dash. I never even met that lady. Huh well, Jamale,
Speaker 1: I think we did it. I think we did the thing.
Speaker 1: This is a lovely episode and and uh joy, could
Speaker 1: you tell the people at home where they can find
Speaker 1: you what cool ship you have going on? Look, you
Speaker 1: can find me a thousand places. Because none of my
Speaker 1: names online are connected in any way. It's Broccoli House
Speaker 1: on Instagram. Okay, I don't sell weed anymore. Kept the
Speaker 1: name at Rockley House, nonprofit comic go on Twitter. Also
Speaker 1: at soccer niggas. Keep in mind it's Gold Cup time.
Speaker 1: It's a big soccer year Euros. We hey, but Kayosaka
Speaker 1: were staying with you? Marcus Rashford on the other time,
Speaker 1: he's a fucking tosser. Fuck you, Marcus Rashford. But the
Speaker 1: mother two niggas, you're good with me and so on
Speaker 1: and so forth. Oh and uh NBA storytime is uh,
Speaker 1: it's a it's a blue Wire project and I'm the
Speaker 1: host also at air Bus if you want to hear
Speaker 1: the rest of uh uh Langston's All Star game tales,
Speaker 1: at least the ones he told us. That's the one
Speaker 1: in the archives. But our guy Lanxton on the on
Speaker 1: the air buds at airbuds pot on everything, and uh,
Speaker 1: yeah it's Jamal Johnson has spelled like it sounds. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and Marcus Rashford is that his name? Yeah? Yeah, fuck
Speaker 1: you Marcus Rashford. I don't and yeah, I don't know
Speaker 1: nothing about you. I got nothing to contribute for. Why
Speaker 1: fuck you? But my man say you suck and and
Speaker 1: as far as I'm concerned, he's right. His team allegiance
Speaker 1: is okay, and it's everything. I actually we love your
Speaker 1: community service work and the outreach. Fuck those kids, and
Speaker 1: fuck you, Marcus Rashfort. The communities you serve. I hope
Speaker 1: they all burn along with you. Marcus rashforst I just
Speaker 1: I like Arsenal. I didn't mean for any communities. It
Speaker 1: burned down Marcus a few email less. We'd love to
Speaker 1: have you on the show all right, well as always,
Speaker 1: you can follow me at Lengthsteon Kerman on on everything
Speaker 1: and please like subscribe, do whatever it is you're supposed
Speaker 1: to do the podcast. And if you want to send
Speaker 1: us ship your theories, your your opinions, your pushed back
Speaker 1: against the horrific things that we say, please send them
Speaker 1: to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. I would
Speaker 1: love to hear from you. Otherwise by bitch mans, racist
Speaker 1: the oaks and player pasting money, actually do many turnkey stuff.
Speaker 1: You know. I can't tell me nothing. My lo