1 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,920 Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome to a new episode of You 2 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 1: Need Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat. I am the host, 3 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 1: and today you are listening to couch Talks. And if 4 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: you are unfamiliar with what couch Talks is, it is 5 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: the special bonus episode of You Need Therapy where I 6 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: answer questions that listeners like you or maybe it is 7 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:35,600 Speaker 1: you today send into Catherine at You Need Therapy podcast 8 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: dot com. Now, quick little reminder that I like to 9 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,519 Speaker 1: give you all that although I am answering questions and 10 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: I'm talking about things that you guys email me about 11 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:49,600 Speaker 1: specifically today, this podcast does not serve as a replacement 12 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: or a substitute for actual mental health services. So now 13 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: that we have the little intro guy out of the way, 14 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 1: let's talk about what we're going to talk about to day. 15 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: So every week I try to do one question and 16 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 1: I read the question to y'all and then I leave 17 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,119 Speaker 1: them anonymous, so you guys can feel really safe and 18 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: sending in what you want to ask or talk about, 19 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:16,680 Speaker 1: and then I talk about it. And sometimes I answer 20 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,960 Speaker 1: the question, and sometimes I just talk about the question, 21 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: and sometimes I ask more questions. So I'm excited about 22 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 1: the question. I got today because it actually has a 23 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,680 Speaker 1: little bit to do with the episode from actually last week, 24 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: and also an episode that is coming up in your future. 25 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,399 Speaker 1: All right, so let's get into the question here. It is, Hey, kat, 26 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: I am a longtime listener of your show, and I 27 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 1: should start by saying your show is the reason I 28 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 1: decided to pursue and stick with therapy. Thank you for 29 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: giving me the confidence to start talking with the counselor. 30 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: It has to really changed my life for the better. 31 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 1: I also wanted to let you know how much I 32 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: enjoyed your conversation with Lauren Ober. I'm a speech and 33 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: language therapist and recently there has been a huge push 34 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 1: in my field and and spec ed as a whole, 35 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 1: to get information about autism from autistic people themselves rather 36 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: than in quote neurotypical people. This has begun helping us 37 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 1: avoid using practices that are potentially very harmful, such as 38 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:18,919 Speaker 1: forcing eye contact, encouraging masking, etcetera, etcetera. All this is say, 39 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 1: the conversation you had is such an important one. Even 40 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: though I have worked with countless autistic kids, I learned 41 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: so much from Lauren and I'm so grateful for her 42 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 1: being open to sharing with us. This sort of brings 43 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 1: me to my question. As I mentioned, I am an 44 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 1: s LP and I work for two elementary schools. My 45 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: field is sort of known for leading directly to burn out, 46 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: and while I've only been out of grad school and 47 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: working in the field for a few months, I can 48 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:45,519 Speaker 1: already feel it coming on strong. I've tried to set 49 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: tangible boundaries from work, like not checking email from home 50 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: and stuff like that, but mentally I am constantly at work. 51 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,360 Speaker 1: I mean, I wake up and go to sleep thinking 52 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,639 Speaker 1: about my job. How can I have a better work 53 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: life balance so I don't get burnt out in less 54 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 1: than a year into my career. Thank you so much 55 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: for all that you do. Okay, so one, let's just 56 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 1: address it all. Thank you so much. When I read 57 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,639 Speaker 1: this at first, and I I read I'm a long 58 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: time listener, I was like, oh wait, we've been doing 59 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: this for almost three years, and so you can be 60 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: a long time listener now because the show is getting 61 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: kind of old. So I think that's really cool. And 62 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,640 Speaker 1: I'm excited that it leads you to therapy because that's 63 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: I mean, one of the reasons I do this is 64 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 1: it helps people get the care that they need, and 65 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: it creates conversations that help people know that life can 66 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 1: be different and things can be different for them if 67 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 1: they want them to be. Now, then you're talking about 68 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 1: the episode from last week, if you guys hadn't heard 69 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: it yet. I did a podcast with somebody named Lauren 70 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 1: Over and she actually started her own podcasts recently talking 71 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: about her experience being diagnosed as autistic later in life 72 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: in her forties. And I learned a lot. It sounds 73 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: like some of y'all learned a lot. And I just 74 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: think that whole conversation was cool, and I think it 75 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 1: is interesting how things are changing, and like it's almost 76 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: like duh, we should be getting information and learning about 77 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: people from them and not from people that aren't like them. 78 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 1: And I didn't realize this is a newer epiphany for me, 79 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: that it's like changing a lot of or has changed 80 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: the last couple of years, how I kind of interact 81 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: and and talk with people in my life, in clients especially, 82 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:22,480 Speaker 1: But I didn't realize how it actually was like so 83 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 1: not helpful to teach people to do normal behaviors versus 84 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: and I normal is in quotes versus this idea where 85 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: we allow others and actually champion others and champion the 86 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: idea that there isn't one way to live in this world, 87 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 1: which leads to an entire conversation around kind of the 88 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: agency in deciding what behaviors or characteristics we want to 89 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,719 Speaker 1: work on and change in ourselves, like in general, not 90 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: just when it comes to like things specific to autism 91 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: or neur atypical people like it might be more accepted 92 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 1: or in quits again normal I don't know, to have 93 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: less energy in your speech or be less intense in conversations, 94 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to adjust yourself 95 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: to that norm. Yeah, there might be consequences in being 96 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: the person who talks faster, louder, or asked more intense 97 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: questions or digs deeper in conversations with people that might 98 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 1: not want to dig into those conversations, but there are 99 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: also some benefits and you actually staying you and not 100 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: adjusting to what most of the world does. All the time. 101 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: I think about this, and I am also guilty of 102 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: not acting in the way that I want to act 103 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:38,719 Speaker 1: all the time, not thinking the way I want to 104 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: think all the time. Because again, in the last couple 105 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,360 Speaker 1: of years, I've really been challenging this part of me. 106 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: But I think it's silly the way that we kind 107 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: of critique others initially and often rather than we become 108 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 1: curious about our differences and we wonder and we leave space. 109 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 1: Fore they're not to be one way to be good 110 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 1: or okay or right, were whatever. So thank you for 111 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 1: that feedback on that episode, and I hope, as always, 112 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: all of these conversations are helpful. Now for your question, 113 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 1: and I want to start by saying I relate to 114 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,039 Speaker 1: you a lot in this. I feel this a lot. 115 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:22,200 Speaker 1: And for me, literally a year and a half into 116 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 1: being a therapist working my dream job, which again I 117 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 1: don't trade that time I spent in that job for 118 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 1: I would never trade it for anything, But I remember 119 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 1: a year and a half and being like, how am 120 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: I going to do this for the rest of my life? 121 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: Like this is not what I thought it was going 122 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:44,479 Speaker 1: to be. And I think that that experience was created 123 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 1: and encouraged by a couple of factors, and some of 124 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,919 Speaker 1: them were because of me and my own behavior, and 125 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 1: so I get that early burnout, and I want to 126 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: talk a little bit about my experience and that might 127 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: you might relate to that and then we're going to 128 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 1: talk about it generally too as well. I know that 129 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: when I would get very like in my head about like, 130 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: how am I going to do this for the rest 131 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,600 Speaker 1: of my life? Like those things started to come up 132 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 1: and I was like living for the weekends and I 133 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: just needed to break all the time. I was living 134 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 1: in a very future experience, right again, how am I 135 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: going to do this for the rest of my life? Well, 136 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 1: if we replace, I mean take our job out and 137 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: replace something else. A lot of times when we look 138 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 1: at things for the entirety of our lives, it sounds 139 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: very daunting. Right. Hopefully we are going to live long lives, 140 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: so that's going to be a long time doing one thing, 141 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: and that can sound exhausting for a lot of different reasons. 142 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: So I think one part of the practice when it 143 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: comes to alleviating burnout is practicing being in the moment 144 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 1: more often. And I think that that's really hard. It's 145 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: really easy to say and talk about, it's really hard 146 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 1: to do, but being more mindful about where we are 147 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 1: right now, what's it like to be in this right now, 148 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: like literally right now, in this moment, right now that 149 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 1: you're listening to this versus tomorrow Wednesday, two weeks, a 150 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 1: month from now, three years from now, our whole life, 151 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: and once we can start actually living in the moment, 152 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: we actually might find ourselves enjoying things more often, right, 153 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: or it might lead us to like, hey, actually, in 154 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 1: the moment, I hate this all the time, and maybe 155 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: I shouldn't be doing this, which is another conversation. And 156 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 1: then something else that I think really played a role 157 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: in my early on burnout was I was so excited 158 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 1: to start as a therapist. One. I didn't give myself 159 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 1: any boundaries. One we'll get to that, but I was 160 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 1: so excited to start, Like I started working before I graduated, 161 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: working full time before I graduate, because I was just 162 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 1: so excited to get in there. When I look back 163 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 1: and I'm like, dang it, relationship taking like two weeks 164 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 1: off and like, you know, done nothing because I just 165 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 1: was like in grad school for three years and working 166 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: an internship and doing all the things. But we can't 167 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: go back. We can just learn and move forward. But yeah, 168 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: I also, because I was so excited, I didn't give 169 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,079 Speaker 1: myself any boundaries because I was enjoying myself, so I 170 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: wouldn't worked so hard to get to that point. And 171 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 1: I just wanted to do it all the time. I 172 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: worked way too much and I gave an intense amount 173 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 1: of energy to my job, and then I felt like 174 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 1: I had to keep up with that energy forever. So 175 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,320 Speaker 1: what I want you to hear is like, it's okay 176 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: to slow down sometimes and life ebbs and flows. We 177 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,560 Speaker 1: know that, right. Sometimes we can give more energy, sometimes 178 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:33,319 Speaker 1: we can give less energy, and sometimes there's boundaries that 179 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 1: need to be set even when we can give more. 180 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: Even when I do have more energy or I do 181 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 1: have more excitement, I still might need to follow these 182 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: boundaries because if I don't, I'm going to push myself 183 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,839 Speaker 1: over the edge. It can be a really fine line 184 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 1: and something that is really important, I think for a 185 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:57,080 Speaker 1: lot of people to just like own and hold and 186 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,200 Speaker 1: take with them everywhere they go. Is the idea that us, 187 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,679 Speaker 1: because you can do something, it doesn't mean you should. 188 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you need to, and it doesn't mean 189 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: you have to. Just because I have the ability to 190 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that I need to go do this thing. 191 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 1: I have to go do this thing now. I think 192 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 1: in this case that the specific listener writing about their 193 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 1: experience that might be helpful to also look at the 194 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: expectations that you're setting for yourself, right, and also with that, 195 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,199 Speaker 1: what are the expectations that work is setting for you? 196 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 1: So are the expectations that work is offering like too high? 197 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: Are they really not achievable? And so you're kind of 198 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 1: just always going to be pushing yourself to the extreme 199 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: or are you doing that as well? Or is there 200 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 1: a combination. And something that a boss of mine told 201 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 1: me very early on in that moment or in that 202 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: time period that I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm 203 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: so burnt out. I'll never forget this is she said, 204 00:10:56,120 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: their chaos is not your emergency. And there are things 205 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 1: that are emergencies, and then there are things that we 206 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: flag as emergencies because of how we want to be perceived, right. 207 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: I want to be able to fix it. I want 208 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,560 Speaker 1: people to think highly of me. I want to be 209 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 1: the person that everyone can count on. I want to 210 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 1: be the person who doesn't make mistakes, the person you 211 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:24,200 Speaker 1: can trust. And so we flag things that can really 212 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,679 Speaker 1: wait until tomorrow, or we flag things that really aren't 213 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 1: our responsibility at all as emergencies, and then we tend 214 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:36,240 Speaker 1: to those emergencies over and over and over again. When really, 215 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,200 Speaker 1: we have no business doing that because we're not helping 216 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,000 Speaker 1: ourselves and we're not helping the people that we actually 217 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: might be enabling. So again, their chaos or someone else's 218 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: chaos is not necessarily my emergency. And then, lastly, and 219 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: maybe most importantly, for anyone who lives, who has a life, 220 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 1: because we all have stressors, no matter what they are, 221 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,120 Speaker 1: there has to be a self care routine or regimen 222 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 1: involved in our care for ourselves in general. Right, if 223 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 1: I'm caring for myself, well, there's gonna be some self 224 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: care involved. Now, I don't want to give a spoiler alert, 225 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: but I'm going to give a spoiler alert. I might 226 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 1: have an episode coming up, probably in two or three 227 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 1: weeks where we go deep into self care and the 228 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 1: subject of what it's perceived as in popular culture and 229 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 1: also what it actually is. So I'm not going to 230 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: go as deep into that today. Just be prepared and 231 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 1: keep your eyes and ears out for that one. But 232 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 1: what I do want you guys to here today, I'll 233 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: give you this is when I say self care and 234 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: there needs to be self care involved, and self care 235 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,600 Speaker 1: helps with burnout. I don't mean it like really flippantly, right, 236 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 1: And I don't think that self care is going to 237 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 1: ever fix It's not the cure for for burnout, but 238 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 1: it might help equip you with the emotional space, integrity, 239 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,719 Speaker 1: what have you to be able to make some of 240 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 1: the changes that you might need to make in order 241 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,040 Speaker 1: to help alleviate the possible burnout. So again, self care, 242 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,960 Speaker 1: it doesn't cure things, but it is a tool. It's 243 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 1: a skill that helps us be our best selves or 244 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 1: um be our healthiest selves. So fine practices that help 245 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: you do that and then commit to them. Trust me. 246 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 1: I used to think that self care was kind of 247 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 1: like a joke. I didn't really understand why I would 248 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,080 Speaker 1: ever really need to involve myself in that. I felt 249 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: like an elective or something that only like weak people. 250 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: For sadly, it is something that I thought before I 251 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,160 Speaker 1: was I have had my own root awakening. Those kind 252 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 1: of people needed, not me. But if I don't practice 253 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: my own self care, which looks different, then probably other 254 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 1: people's self care, I will suffer. And then the things 255 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 1: that are in my life suffer. My friendships, my UM 256 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 1: relationships in general, my mental health in general, my work, 257 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 1: my clients care like that, all suffers, and so it's 258 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,040 Speaker 1: something I have to commit to. Even when I'm doing well, 259 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,640 Speaker 1: I'm doing well because I've committed to the practices that 260 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: allow me to do well. So again, I don't mean 261 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 1: self care really flippantly. I'm like, oh, self care, you 262 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 1: should like get your nails done and like go for 263 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 1: a walk on the beach or something like that. Like 264 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:28,440 Speaker 1: those can be that if they're not self care for you, 265 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 1: or if you're not using them as a way to 266 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 1: allow yourself some space and some rest and some reprieve 267 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 1: from a lot of emotional turmoil for a lack of 268 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: a better word that I can think of right now, 269 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 1: then that's not self care for you. So think about 270 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 1: what helps you actually nourish your soul, what helps you 271 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:52,600 Speaker 1: actually care for yourself well, like what fuels actually soothing 272 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:56,200 Speaker 1: to you, and then practice those things and practice them 273 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: often and take them seriously. Don't do what I did 274 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,480 Speaker 1: in the beginning, or do it and then learn the 275 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,920 Speaker 1: hard way and then take them seriously. Whatever you gotta do. 276 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 1: But yeah, burnout as real, burnout as a thing. And again, 277 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 1: burnout is is a feeling, right, So you're feeling something 278 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,320 Speaker 1: that's another word for a feeling that you might be experiencing, 279 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,720 Speaker 1: So dig into what that feeling is and a lot 280 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 1: of times that feeling might lead you to whatever self 281 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,560 Speaker 1: care practice you might need. Like, our feelings are really 282 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 1: tools that guide us to get what we need. And 283 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 1: so if I'm feeling really tired, or I'm feeling exhausted, 284 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 1: or I'm feeling really scared that i can't keep up 285 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 1: or that I'm going to fail, follow that feeling because 286 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 1: that feeling is going to lead you to something you need, 287 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,800 Speaker 1: and then that might lead you to what you might 288 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,080 Speaker 1: need to nourish that need. So that is all I 289 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 1: have for you today. Thank you for this email. Again, Guys, 290 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 1: if you want to email me, you can email any 291 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: questions or thoughts to Catherine at you Need Therapy podcast 292 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 1: dot com. If you want to follow me, you can 293 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: do that at you Need Therapy Podcasts and at cat 294 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 1: dot to fata. Also, if you have not seen it already, 295 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: I did release Merch. I did release the Have the 296 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: Day you Need to Have Sweatshirts. I was going to 297 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: save those four the Wichita Live show that I'm going 298 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: to with Amy the Live that four Things with Amy 299 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 1: Brown Live Show, but I decided not to because of 300 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: a lot of things more just logistical, and so I 301 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 1: just released them online. There are at this point ten left, 302 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,680 Speaker 1: so go grab them if you want one. Hopefully there 303 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 1: are some left, and I hopefully will have more and 304 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: more options available for you soon. But that was kind 305 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 1: of just like a test run. So the link is 306 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,840 Speaker 1: in the show notes here that you can follow, and 307 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,640 Speaker 1: also I'll put it in my Instagram bio, although it 308 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: was being really difficult with me the other day and 309 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 1: it wouldn't let me change the link and I was 310 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 1: very confused and then I gave up. But yeah, so 311 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 1: those are released, and those are out there. Hopefully you 312 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 1: got one. I am actually going to drop all those 313 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,160 Speaker 1: orders off at the post office today. It was very 314 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 1: exciting and fun packaging all those up. Thank you so 315 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 1: much for anybody who ordered one. That actually meant a 316 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: lot to me, because when I put them for sale, 317 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:06,240 Speaker 1: I was like, nobody's going to buy these, and then 318 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 1: there's ten left. So that was exciting and cool and 319 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 1: kind of gives me some tangible evidence that we are 320 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:16,400 Speaker 1: creating a little community where this sign off that I 321 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 1: started saying means something to you guys. So with that, 322 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: I hope you guys have the day you need to 323 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,679 Speaker 1: have and I will be back with you on Monday 324 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 1: for a brand new episode. Bye guys.